Ephesians Part 12

And we're getting getting there. Almost through Ephesians now.

Of course, we'll be taking a couple weeks break from

Ephesians next week. Is going to be Mike Mills.

Is it Mike next week? Yeah, Mike is next week.

Mike Mills is going to be ministering the word next week

and then Bowden Dean's will be the week after that.

So, we'll take a break from a fusion, for a couple weeks.

And then we'll pick it back up when we get back in chapter 6.

But this morning I am going to read to you from verse 21 of

chapter 5 and we're going to read through verse 6 of chapter

9. I'm going to take that whole

passage and read it to you but then I'm basically just going to

teach on the portion in chapter 5 so we're in 5:21 that's why I

left us off last week. He's saying submitting to one

another out of reverence for Christ wives submit to your own.

Husband's as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the

wife even as Christ is the head of the church.

His body and is himself its savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should

submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands. Love your wives as Christ loved

the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify

her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

so that he might present the church to himself in splendor

without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be

holy and without blemish in the same way husband should love

their wives, as their own bodies, he who loves his wife,

loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but

nourishes, it and cherishes Is it just as Christ does the

church? Because we are members of his

body, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and

hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

This mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to

Christ and the church. However, Let each one of you

love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects

her, husband children obey, your parents in the Lord, Lord for

this is right. Honor your father and mother

this is the first commandment with a promise that it may go

well with you. And that you may live long in

the land fathers, do not provoke your children to anger but bring

them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord Bond

servants obey your Earthly masters with fear and trembling

with a sincere heart as you would Christ, not in the way of

eyeservice as people Pleasers. But As Bond Servants of Christ

doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a

good will as to the Lord and not to man knowing that, whatever

good anyone does. This he will receive back from

the Lord, whether he is a bond servant or he is free.

Masters do the same to them. And stop your threatening

knowing that he who is both their master and yours is in

heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.

Let's pray. God, we thank you for your word.

We thank you for the instruction that you give us for household

for marriage for for fatherhood, for employment, for every

possible distinction in the world that we could come up and

face where to do it. All for the love of God, what to

do at all, from a place of glorifying, the Lord Jesus

Christ. Do it all out of reverence for

you. Lord God, I pray for light and

Revelation to come today. I pray that your word would do,

what it is been sent to do that. It would cut to the heart, that

it would bring the clarity. This this scripture that sharper

than any two-edged sword. It can divide between the soul

and the spirit Lord. I pray that you would tear down

the trees that have been established in our lives, false

Doctrine, bad, teaching, popular Theory, and that we would pick

up this. Fresh seed, this thing, that's

true, and good and beautiful to glorify you to enjoy your best

in our marriages, and in our households.

So that the world would have a good picture, a clear picture of

Christ in his church. We thank you for it in Jesus

name. Amen.

So preaching on marriage headship and submission.

One of the things that happens with these kinds of sermons,

these sermons usually die, the death of a thousand, apologies

before they ever get started, the pastor will get started on

these passages and he has to backtrack and he will undo

everything that the scripture is about to do.

So the scripture says some things that are very plain and

that are very explicit, but a pastor may feel some discomfort,

he may feel some tension, where's Come from.

I think sometimes it can come from ignorance.

I think other times it can come from cowardice.

I've certainly been guilty of both so I'm not throwing stones

but I'm identifying honestly in these other passages as we've

come through Ephesians. It's been pretty simple.

I've been able to just say, hey, here's the verse and here's what

it means. And everybody's like, yeah,

here's the verse. And here's what it means or by

goes. Yeah however why will I do it

differently today? While do it differently today?

Because the passages were looking at have been have been

Twisted many times. They've been misunderstood many

times and they've been misapplied He times this is a

new phenomenon definitely when the past 100 Years of Western

culture but it's the only culture that you and I have

known as the only one that we've been around I've only been

around with in the past hundred years.

I think that's true for everybody in here as well.

So understanding that I am going to I am gonna be a little bit

more detailed. I'm going to answer some

question marks that I think are going to be above your heads.

I think there's going to be some some lines and some things that

are going to come up for you as I teach them this, you go.

What about what would that mean? And I want to answer some of

that and answer some objections. So you have confidence Clarity

and belief that God's word is good.

So you're not going to get any apologies from me.

Except for one the one apology you're going to get from me on

this sermon is that I have overcorrected actually.

So because what I do for my work and for those who don't know, I

have a coaching practice where I work with husbands and some of

what I do in that is I'm talking about headship, I don't spend

much time talking about submission.

Cuz we say we can't control your wife.

So let's just focus on you, bro. But I do teach the scriptures a

lot in that work. And I talked about how a husband

is the head of his wife and I do it without apology and I do it

with love and I do it with Clarity and explain what that

means. But if you were to look at my

Facebook account, you would think this guy has no other

thoughts in his brain, except for things that pertain to

headship submission and we'll call it intimacy and marriage

because those are the things that I do through my coaching,

practice, you think John Michael just walks around and does

nothing except thinking about these things?

It's not true. It's just that Facebook is

where, you know, I run my business and that's where I do

the marketing for that and it's where I'm reaching out to help

more men. So if you look at my Facebook

profile, you got man, this guy he has no other thoughts to

think. But when I'm pastoring my

church, that's a totally different thing.

When I'm shepherding you and the full Council, the word of God

and not just pet Doctrine. Then that was my fear and that

was the overcorrection that I made.

I've only preached once in about in over a year and a half on

Mary Ridge and that hasn't served you.

Well, that was an overcorrection on my part to say I don't want

to preach on this because I don't want them to think that

this is that this is like my thing that I talk about all the

time. Okay.

Well, that's great pastor but in doing so you didn't talk about

it at all except for once in the first six months and your Merit.

The marriage is in this church need that help.

How do you know that? Because I know that everyone in

the church is a human being, and I know that everyone in this

church, most likely hasn't received wonderful.

Teaching on the scriptures pertaining to marriage.

Why? Well, because I hadn't and I had

and I looked long and hard to find it and I still don't come

across a great teaching on marriage all the time.

So I think it's a very difficult thing to come across but that's

my apology. I have overcorrect and said I'm

going to avoid this because I don't want them thinking like

that's my thing or like where the headship church or something

like that, where the bible church and we love the whole

thing and we want to apply the whole thing.

So what we're gonna do when we finish the book of Ephesians,

And we're going to do a marriage Series so there will be things

that I say today that you probably go.

I'd like to hear more about that.

Rightfully so search the scriptures continue to dig

deeply and make sure that what I'm teaching you what I'm saying

to you is true if I can't show it to you from the scriptures,

you got no business believing it.

If I can't show you from the scriptures you got no business

living in it. But if I can That's something

that we'll have to face. That's something you have to go.

Well, wait a second, I'm picking up something good.

Right? So the other point, I want to

make is, you're not going to hear any bad news today.

Nothing. No husband, no wife, no child,

no employee, no boss. You will not hear one ounce of

bad news today. Anything that you hear about

submission as a wife, will not be bad news for you.

It will be good news. Anything you hear about the

burden of headship as a husband, it will not be bad news for you.

It will be good news for you. This is the Lord's good design

for marriage. So why does it feel like you got

a little bit of an ax to grind? Because I've got a big tree to

chop down. It's a giant tree that has to be

chopped down. It is an idol.

It is false, it is damaged, marriages.

People are hurting people don't even know that they're hurting.

We have men and women in marriages, who go.

Well, this has been functional long enough, functional is

different from thriving and God's best.

So God is Not intending that people would be just married or

even, we're happily married. I want you to be ecstatically,

married. I want your marriage.

Judge to thrive and I'm and I know that the way to do that is

going to be a way that's countercultural.

So this is a plague that's not just in culture but it's also in

the church, these misunderstandings pertaining to

the verses were getting into. So now I'm going to start to

unpack these things for you. We're in verse 21.

Yeah, boxers going. We're in verse 21 submitting to

one another out of reverence for Christ.

So last week, I could have scooped that in and included it

with the passage that we were in, but of course it connects to

both, we know this letter was written all at So let's look at

verse 20 giving. Thanks always for everything to

God, the father in the name of our Lord.

Jesus Christ submitting to one another out of reverence for

Christ. So when we connect this

statement, to the previous statements and the previous

teaching that he was giving about life in the church, we

understand who that he's saying, no one should be stubborn.

To destroy the Peace of the church.

That was the idea. Hey, submitting to one another

out of reverence for Christ. What does he mean by that?

He's not saying that. We don't have serious

conversations when we have disagreement or we have

friction, that's important. That's a needed thing.

Hey, I'm concerned about this but there's not a stubborn and

it's to it. That's the spirit with which

verse 21 is applying to the previous verses.

But now verse 21, obviously also leads us to verse 22 and it

leads us to things that go beyond it.

And I want you to know that verse 21 is preparation for

verse. 22 is not problematic. So what do you mean by that?

John Michael. Well, here's here's the popular

misinterpretation of what's happening in these verses and

I'm going to end there will be there's nothing up my sleeves.

Be no trickery today or gymnastics with the Bible.

Everything's going to be plain basic reading comprehension so

submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ wives

submit to your own husband's as to the Lord is the instruction

that's brought here. So some misread this and they

say wives submit to your own husband's and as the Lord but

they instantly go. But it says submit one to

another. Yeah.

Right it does it does say that. But let's ask ourselves what

does this mean? There's an understanding Sanding

that has been missed in our in our eagerness to dodge

submission. Number one, we've misunderstood

submission. And we have, we have treated the

word submission as a synonym for oppression, and that is not

true. That is not good.

That is not accurate. That is not biblical, but it's

how often times our modern ears can receive it.

So what's happening in verse 21 and verse 22.

He's showing us in the coming passage, what submission looks

like in the household he's saying submit To another.

Specifically, for example, in the household wives, you submit

two husbands children, you submit to parents servants.

You submit two masters, this is the context of what's happening

in verse 21. Verse 21 has been treated, like

the AHA gotcha for something that, hang on.

Why do you even want to got you? This is good news, by the way,

submission, and headship and all that applies.

It's all good news. We wouldn't want to wiggle out

of it. We want to get More deeply into

it and understand it. So submitting to one another.

Well, I think it means that one submits to the other.

Well, let's test that theory for a second.

I think everybody, I think you're supposed to submit to me

and I'm supposed to submit to you, really.

So let's follow through those passages wives submit to

husband's surely next, then he's going to say and husbands submit

two wives but he doesn't, and then he says children obey your

parents in the Lord. Okay.

Well, following our theory of verse 21.

Now, of course, he would have to say, Parents parents, you know,

obey your children in the Lord kids would love that, right?

Except that, you wouldn't accept that you wouldn't because it

wouldn't be good or true or healthier beautiful.

Hey, servants obey your masters and don't forget verse 21

Masters also obey your servants. That's not, what's happening.

There's not this back and forth. Its submit one to another.

Here's what that looks like. So the Holy Spirit through Paul

is saying, hey, when I say submit to one another, here's

what that means here. Is how that looks.

He's not teaching a you submit to me, I submit to you

perspective. He is teaching.

Hey certain people submit to certain people.

The hierarchy that follows in the following passages, make

that obvious. Now the question that I suspect

is coming up for some of you as are we talking about value or we

talking about dignity? Are we talking about worthiness?

No, not at all. What's being described here as

an authority structure? It's not at this person is more

valuable than this person. Every mother in the room already

knows that. Every mother looks to her

children and doesn't see them as valueless, although they have

less Authority than she has her Authority, is a means to bless

them her authorities and means to provide for them her

authorities. A means to care for them, right?

We understand that this is simple stuff.

We don't question the worth of a child when the Holy Spirit

through Paul says you know, children obey your parents in

the Lord. No Christian believes that

children are worthless just the opposite so mother's you would

die for your children, right? We believe that are so valuable

that we would gladly die for somebody who has less, not less

worth, but just less Authority than us.

We would gladly do so. So this is not a value

structure. This is the most important.

This is the next important. This is the next important

actually, just the opposite is true.

We see an umbrella at the top taking the brunt of the weather.

We see a smaller umbrella, receiving covering and a smaller

umbrella. So the child at the bottom, gets

the most blessing. I'm covered by Mommy.

I'm covered by Daddy. I'm covered by Christ.

What a joy? What a blessing to live in this.

And this beautiful green house that's been given to me.

This is a thriving place that has been created.

Of Love out of devotion. The problem is some of you when

you hear these verses and you see submit you're going.

Oh so I just and you're jumping to a place and you're hearing

things that the scripture doesn't say and you're hearing

things that I haven't said so that's the other thing.

I'm going to ask you to do, listen to what I say this

morning and don't hear things that I didn't say.

And again we're going to take the full marriage series.

We're going to get super zoomed in, maybe overly practical and

some stuff to really make all this very, very clear.

So that everybody sees what were describing is.

When when when, when when not a value structure but it is an

authority structure, it is a hierarchy.

I don't like that word. I'm sorry, I don't know what to

say. Hierarchy is the Lord's design.

It was his idea. It's not evil.

Again, submission is not a synonym for oppression

submission, is not a synonym for tyranny.

These are not interchangeable words.

So, have you ever seen someone in Authority?

Who was a harsh or unkind, or demanding were extreme?

Maybe a boss. Maybe a pastor.

Maybe a parent. May be a police officer.

May be a husband, have you? I have.

Yeah. Of course you have.

Well what is that? That's called sin and we reject

it. We don't project it onto the

scriptures we just reject it. Well, I know somebody who I'm I

reject that sin. That's that's wicked.

It's on. Septuple God forbids it.

Yeah. Well I think you got God forbids

this end. So now back to the word which is

good and safe and true and beautiful well yeah.

But I know me too me too. I've heard it and seeing it and

so again will reject that and will embrace the good and the

true. Yeah well I just I'm starting to

sense that you're actually rejecting the scripture with the

guise of doing it in wisdom, but it's not wisdom, it's not good,

it's not helpful, it looks very worldly.

I find it very strange and I get very nervous.

Anytime the church is in lockstep with the world in any

particular teaching or doctrine when the church and the world

have agreement on something I get super super nervous why in

the world are we comfortable with this but it results show up

because a good Christian marriage.

Oftentimes looks like a good worldly marriage.

We all know people who are not Believers and they love each

other. You know that you know but you

know non believers who love One another.

They've got a good marriage. Praise God for it.

That's a blessing. Thank.

We're thankful that they do. But why don't Christian

marriages look like 500 miles above and beyond to

non-believers man? Should we not sure they're not

be any difference? Well, this works for us.

Well I don't we want God's best. Can't we continue to contend For

What? The Lord Has intended.

So we don't read in the scripture children obey your

parents and reply when you got to be careful with that verse

because some parents have abused their children.

No, nobody says that I've never heard of Christians, say that,

no, we reject that Sim, but we don't reject God's word.

And the same way we shouldn't do that for any other biblical

instruction because God's will is good for everyone who gives

his commands to. It's good, it's good, it's good.

Well I don't feel that yet that I can respect that, I can

appreciate your feelings will follow as you walk in obedience

to the word of God, there is much to be blessed by there's

much to enjoy. It's still going, thank you.

So we reject the Sim, but we don't reject God's word.

And in the same way, we don't reject, we don't want to reject

his scripture. For any other instruction, God's

will is good for everybody who gives his commands to.

So, a husband takes the same perspective, no Godly husband

thinks left less of his wife because of his position of

authority over her. And the same way, just like,

Mama's a mama's, would you die for your babies and go like

right now? Come at me, bro.

I'm like, no, you don't have to right now, in the same way, The

Godly husband says, I lay down my life.

Like of course. Duh gladly like this is what men

fantasize. About is what I fantasize about.

My could I be the hero and like die and make something happen to

protect my family? So, I do this, and I have

authority over Natalie, but I'm not worth more than Natalie.

I'm not more valuable than Natalie.

The Lord doesn't look at me and go.

He's more important than her, but the Lord does say, one of

you is an authority in the household, but it's interesting.

The scripture doesn't say that the husband is the head of the

household. Do you notice that?

That's a, that's a, that's a, that's a line that we've added

in lately. That's that's a modern thing

that the scripture doesn't say husband's head of the household.

Oh, where's that? Passage do things in Ephesians 5

actually says something different.

And it actually is a husband's head of household.

Someone else is the head of the household.

His name is Christ because the husband has a head as well.

The husband is the head of, you're not gonna like this Oprah

or whoever else husband's head of the wife.

I don't know how I feel about that.

God didn't ask you. You didn't ask me either but I

know his ways are good parents as head of the children.

Well, that's okay. Oh, that one's fine.

All right, that one's fine. So we see the blessing in the

goodness there. Nothing changes when it comes to

the husband level. It's good.

It's true, it's beautiful. It's intended to be a blessing

and a covering. Why?

Well, because husbands have the heaviest burden.

So a husband loves his wife and he doesn't Lord his authority

over her and go. Ha, ha.

I have the power because that's what Authority is.

By the way, Authority is not a dirty word.

Word and Authority means power, the power to, what?

Well, the scripture defines that for us, essentially to say

authority over your wife, which I husband has means you have

what you have the power to do, what's best for her?

That's it. That's what the power is for.

That's what the purpose of Jesus has power, is Jesus has power

over the church, right? What does he use his power for

to do? What's best for the church?

Mama's. You have power over those babies

and what do you do with it? You use it to bless them and to

serve them, this is the gift of your leadership.

You literally give your life to your baby's.

In the same way, a husband gives his life to his wife.

This is the purpose of power. So we run to the extremes of

well, I got to be careful, I don't want to be, I don't want

to be some Tyrant. Well, the scripture forbids that

brother, you don't have to worry about that.

Ditch, love your wife as Christ loves the church.

So you can get images of Saddam Hussein out of your mind because

this is the overcorrection that the church is often made.

I don't want to be some Tyrant, right?

So what you're going to do is choose total passivity, and by

the way, there will always be ahead in a marriage.

And when the husband chooses not to do it, the wife is tempted,

she doesn't have to, but a wife is going to be very tempted to

fill that vacuum. And then she will start to live

as the husband. Functionally speaking.

And then they persuade themselves, go, it's 50.

Well, he might believe that, but she and I know better.

She and I know that she's actually leading well and the

burdens then begin to come on top of her because culture tells

her you can do it, girl, you're powerful, you can do anything.

Well, can't she do some things she can, but that doesn't mean

that she should, there's things I could I could have Elijah

thing to do. The he could, maybe capably

execute, but there's things that bird that there's burdens that

are not meant for his shoulders. Yet, there's things that are not

designed for him someday, he'll be a man.

And that'll be different. But this is where the church

still, doesn't even yet believe that there is a difference

between a man and a woman functionally.

We say it mockingly. There's a difference between a

man and a woman. Are you gonna do is you check

down below the will below the waist.

That's very clever church. But functionally, in a

household, most of the time, the church still doesn't believe in

theory on Doctrine and paper. We say, there's a difference

between a man and a woman and he say, well, what would that look

like in marriage and like, well, you know, I think, in most

things can just kind of, you know, We don't know.

We have no conviction. We get me only mouth on this

stuff. What does it husband's

responsibility? Most of the church.

Can't tell you protect providing lead like Christ.

Most the church won't dare say a wife is made to be her husband's

help and and to serve him and Christ together on their mission

of God together. Can you show me that?

I'm going to walk you through from Genesis to Revelation when

we do our marriage series? And again, you'll be, you'll be

able to see verse by verse, like I said nothing fancy just

reading comprehension kind of stuff.

Do we have any other verses we do?

You are the in the New Testament?

They are. So we'll start in the garden and

we'll see all this stuff in seed form.

And again, all with blessing, if it seems like again, it seems

like he's got an ax to grind. It's the axe needs to be sharp

because the tree is really big. I had to cut it down in my own

life first and get the log out of my own eye and then I can

help others to do the same. So we make the mistake.

I said, when we see submission as a synonym for oppression, one

who submits to another is not less and value or Worth, or

dignity the way to see this most quickly.

And most obviously is to look to Jesus.

Jesus equal to the father in essence equal in value, co-equal

and coeternal, always and forever.

God Almighty. Jesus Christ.

Yet, he was submitted enrolled to the father.

Even the Trinity has hierarchy, which a my mess with our

theology, a little bit, their weight, their equal, right?

Yes, co-equal and coeternal. And yet still, there's hierarchy

in the trinity. Because hierarchies, not bad.

There's a father. Come on people like let's be

honest about what's plainly. There, there's the father and

there's a son and the son says I don't do the will of me of my

own but I did the will of the one who sent me submission of

the Lord Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, kneeling and bleeding,

sweating blood in the garden praying father, not my will.

But your will be done. My sister's, you're not better

than Jesus. You're not higher than Jesus.

And you are deeply, loved and protected by Jesus.

So the Lord's will for you and submission is not one of

Oppression. Yeah, but I've seen and I reject

that entirely abuse is wicked unacceptable and has no place in

a Christian household, Wicked unacceptable, which is why we

have a means of dealing with it as well in the scriptures.

So there's no tolerance for it. No tolerance for abuse, zero

tolerance, for harassment zero, tolerance for harshness.

We're still on women. Why are you spending so much

time on women? Okay, let's be honest for a

second. Do I need to spend a lot of time

on children obey your parents? Am I gonna get a lot of

questions and push and it's really confusing.

What do you think that meant in the Greek?

What do you think about the Greek transliteration of the

Hebrew Aramaic? At the Council of Crimea?

How do you think they handled that one?

There's not a lot of postulating regarding that.

Husbands love your wives. Who's ready to fight over that

one, right? Right?

This room. I don't know if that really

means what you think. It means that was written to a

time and people in a place know that we don't really hear that

kind of stuff wives submit to your husband's slow down

Preacher, Man. You gotta understand.

Okay. You know what it was was is

okay. See you know what I mean?

Like Ephesus was a time and the people and you know, so just you

know, the Bible's complicated you know think God's ways are

mysterious when did we get so spiritual?

How do we get to accomplish man? Everything else is like servants

obey Masters kids, obey parents. Husbands love your wives wives.

Watch it. Watch it thin ice, mr.

Father, not my will, but yours be done.

This is what submission looks like and this is the Christian

wives posture towards her husband wives, get to be like

Jesus and that they submit to their husbands, husband's get to

be like Jesus and that they lay down their lives for their

wives. Verses 23 and 24.

Like man, we didn't make many have made it too far.

We're gonna start moving, it will start moving a little more

quickly here. Verses 23 and 24.

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the

head of the church. His body and his himself, it's

savior. Now as the church submits to

Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their

husbands. And he kind of sends this point

home multiple times here in like two sentences like to and

uncomfortable degree. Would you agree for the husband

is the head of the white or first he said submit to your own

husband's like submit to my husband like unto who on glad

you asked Madame as unto the Lord.

Oh okay. Why will the husband is the head

of the wife? Like, what?

Like Christ is the head of the church so to the degree.

You think Jesus should submit to the church?

Is the degree that her husband should submit to his wife.

I don't think he should submit to the church.

Welcome to the point. The husband is the head of his

wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and his

himself at savior. Now, as the church submits to

Christ Paul, we get it. Okay, so also wives should

submit It and what in everything to, who to their husbands.

So like I said, husbands are not the head of the household and,

you know, there's I think there's been a lot of language.

Things that have happened, we said husband's head of the

householder, husband's the we continue to weaken the the

language of scripture. Like, scripture uses words, like

ruler in different places, Sarah calls, Abraham, Lord, you know,

all kinds of stuff where we kept softening that stuff because

we're not comfortable with it. So, we had to modernize it.

So we say, Well, the husband's not the head of the White

House's, the head of the household.

That's a little more palatable, it's a little too strong.

Still I tell you what the husband's the spiritual leader.

Okay. So you just brought his

leadership into exclusively one dimension.

Who's the everything else later? Wait, I bet I can guess, but the

husband is the spiritually. That's still a little bit too

much. I know what I like the

husband's, the servant, leader, servant leader, we've totally

gutted him of all authority. At this point, he doesn't have

any power to do anything that could potentially make anyone

disagree with them. So now he's just the servant

leader. We like that Melvin, enjoy your

new title, you're the servant leader, and this is the role

that we want you to walk in. Now I'm actually okay with the

phrase servant leader as long as we understand it to mean that

you're using your leadership. To serve.

But if we're using servant leader as to say, it's like a

clever title for like, you know, obedient man child.

Then then that would be a different category altogether.

Why do I say this will? Because Jesus served us with his

strength. But Jesus isn't above washing

feet though, is he No, he's not. And yet our, the gospels filled

with Jesus foot-washing ministry or the gospels filled with

Jesus's gift, that only Jesus could give preaching teaching

and healing. Jesus served us from his

strength did Jesus serve. He didn't come to serve, but he

came to serve. He didn't come to be served, but

he came to serve. That's what he said.

He said I came to serve, so make no mistake husband's.

We are to serve but it looks different potentially from what

we've been told it looks like you serve with Your strength.

You serve with your blessing, you serve with what you've been

given? Jesus gave us his best.

Well, I'm not above doing anything else.

Of course not, you shouldn't be Jesus, wasn't, we're not, but

are you moving the, biggest rocks, the direction of your

family, the protection of your family, the provision of your

family in every area, not just one, the emotional needs of your

family, it's a heavy load to be this kind of provider.

So, let's keep going to verse 25.

Verses 25 through 30 husbands, love your wives as Christ loved

the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify

her. Having cleansed her by the

washing of water with the word so that he might present the

church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any

such thing that she might be holy and without blemish in the

same way. So he told wives hey submit to

the submit your husband like who?

Like he's Jesus. Okay, husbands love your wives.

Eyes. Like who like your Jesus.

You know Jesus loves you. Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah. Welcome to the point, buddy.

Like that's your High Calling be Jesus and the same way husband's

should love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife, loves himself for no one ever hated

his own flesh, but nourishes, it and cherishes a.

As Christ does the church for we are members of his body.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved and gave himself up

for her. I'm glad we got the easy

assignment, right guys? Now, we know if somebody has to

die, it's us. Everybody knows this little boys

know this from an early age. Like the boy goes down in the

girl goes free. This is good.

And right. And true and beautiful.

It's part of the Lord's design. Does that mean men are

worthless? Because you would think?

So, right, when the person who dies be less valuable than the

person who gets to live, this person's Expendable, it would

seem, but it's just, it's not the case.

It's just a roll, it's a role and it's assignment value is all

the same. Worth is all the same dignity

and all the same is all the same.

And yet there's a particular role.

There's a particular thing that This is my part and I want to

play it, this is my part, this is my role, this is my job and

the Lord has assigned it. I am the protector, I am the

provider, I am the leader, then do it.

Well, do it for the glory of God and do it for the good of those

who you are leading and who you're responsible for.

So we think about that, if it's time to take a bullet, I'm the

one to take the bullet. But what does this look like for

the for the regular Monday? I haven't had to take any

bullets for Natalie yet. I'm happy to, but it's unlikely

that it's going to happen. So what would it really look

like for me to lay down my life for my wife on the regular?

How does this play out on a consistent basis?

When there's not, you know, my fantasy of 100 ninjas attacking

the house and I've got to defend the family, you know?

And it's just me and like a, like a Crocodile Dundee knife,

you know, I'm just like making stuff happen not likely going to

happen. So how can I actually walk this

out Faithfully on a regular Tuesday or a regular Wednesday?

It looks like we lovingly and joyfully give or strength, or

protection, or provision in our leadership, as our service to

our wives. That's what it looks like.

It looks like leading really, really, really well.

This is part of the executive. Example that you see when in our

in our culture. Why does a man kneel to propose?

He gets down on one knee? Not as to say Almighty goddess,

will you? Please take me.

That's not the perspective of what's happening.

What's supposed to be happening is here's this masculine

strength. Here's this masculine Glory,

there's a feminine Glory. There's a masculine Glory.

Here's his masculine strength as masculine Glory.

But I'm showing you, even though I could Tower above you, I'm

showing you that I want to use all of this.

Serve you. I want to use all of this to

bless you. This is a picture of what I'm

promising to do for you. I'm not going to become your

obedient child. Don't misunderstand this

posture. But this is to say, is there a

hardness about me? Yes, I'm a man and not a woman.

Is there a strength to me? Yes, I'm a man, and not a woman.

There's a calling, and there's a particular thing.

But I'm telling you, I will put all my hardness to the world.

And I want to point on my softness, towards you, and be

gentle and understanding and providing for you.

Will you You be, my wife, will you submit to me and join me in

this Mission, I want to love you and live happily ever after with

you. That's the posture and she said,

yes. So that's a lot there.

But our symbols matter symbols mean, things, the wedding

ceremonies. There's a lot happening in a

wedding, Sarah, we do this and this happens that there's

meaning behind the, there's purpose behind these things, but

this is what's supposed to be happening without all the

strength. I've got all this power.

I hope he's not bad. Yeah, ladies, that's why you get

to pick who you marry like you get to pick who you submit to.

You get to choose. Well, I don't want to say it to

him, didn't I don't, and don't marry him.

If you can't trust him and admire him and look up to him

and join him in a mighty mission for God.

Then don't but after you do, This is the command to you

husband. So this is what it looks like.

I'm taking this Lord. Help me to lead, my family will

help me to love and take all of what you put in me to Shepherd

into bless. It's not as self-serving thing

it, except that there is an element of that.

And here's what I mean, Jesus does.

All of this. It says he does this so that he

might present the church to himself what I thought he did it

because I'm so amazing. Well, it's both and God loves

you. He really loves you and he is

big on his glory. He is all about his glory.

God really loves you. And Jesus wants to present a

beautiful bride to himself husband's.

You want a beautiful wife, you want to present your beautiful

wife to yourself. But Brothers, you beautify your

wife, when you love her like, Jesus loves the church.

Generally speaking, show me a wife, who is a withering flower

and I will show you a neglectful husband, who is either And

tyrannical or distant and passive or we are back and forth

between the two. I go from one end, and I'm like,

I'm mad. I'm grumpy, I'm total passive

until frustration builds, and then I'm adding grumpy again.

This is the Tyranny that makes a woman terrified of a man.

This is the Tyranny that makes a woman feel insecure.

I want him to be stable and strong and loving, yes.

But I want to do it the way I want him to do it.

Well, welcome to submission sister.

He's gonna do it the way he believes is right, and good and

true, and beautiful. But yes, he is to do it.

He is to pursue it. But generally speaking show me a

wife who is flourishing and I will show you a husband who has

lovingly become her Greenhouse joyfully, laying down his life,

bearing the greatest burdens of sun, and rain, and wind, and Ice

using his god-given hardness for the world, and his gentleness,

for his garden, but you get to enjoy the garden.

Whoever planted a garden in. Didn't want to eat the fruit out

of it. That's dumb.

So in the same way, you want to care for your wife, well and you

get to enjoy who she is. The same is true for a wife

wife, as you honor and respect your husband.

You get to enjoy the the man that you're helping to cultivate

the man that you're serving. You're going, it's making a

difference in him. God has put incredible influence

in the hands of a wife. He's put incredible influence in

the hands of a husband. Both have incredible influence

to bless, which is why the scriptures tell us that even an

unbelieving husband can be one with Out a word.

That's if that's not power, if that's not power I don't know

what you think power is. You could win a man who's an

unbelieving husband if he's to had already gotten married, he

could be won without a word. Why?

Because he, because he can see the incredible Godly conduct of

his wife and even that has influence on him and is

cultivating him, that's power. That's beautiful.

So, there is a feminine power, but it's not masculine.

That's not a masculine assignment to that woman.

Here's how to tell him. How to do it?

No, it's a feminine guide that that helps him to grow in the

same way. There's a masculine guidance,

they comes from a husband. So you enjoy the benefits of

your garden. You plant a garden because you

want to eat its fruit, even Natalie.

She washed our babies when they were little babies because she

wanted to smell them, she wanted to do.

They smell so good. After I wash him.

Didn't you wash your babies because you wanted to clean them

and you just want to be a good mother?

Okay here. Oh yeah, she did that too.

She wanted her babies clean and she just really want to smell it

again. Did They need another bath,

probably not. But she wanted to put lotion on

her doll baby and she wanted to play with him.

If the love is reciprocal, and this isn't a wicked thing.

So, in the same way husband, be of good cheer, because as you

care for your wife, well, you're also presenting your bride to

yourself. Husbands like Christ himself.

They want to care for their wife because they love her and she's

a part of him and also we want her best.

So we are to nourish and cherish our wives.

Why would he tell husband's nourish and cherish your wives?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's something.

We're not super good at on her own.

Why would he tell kids obey your parents?

I don't know. Maybe they're gonna have a

tendency to sin against that. Why would he tell servants obey

your masters? I don't know.

Maybe there was a tendency to disobey that.

Why would he tell wives submit to your Simmons, I don't know,

maybe there's a temptation to try and rule over them and to

try and dictate to them rather than submit to them, basic

reading comprehension kind of stuff here.

Haven't done any tricks. Haven't gotten fancy today.

So marriage is the picture verse 32.

This mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to

Christ and the church everything is describing.

I mean we haven't even scratched the surface on anything today.

But the mystery of marriage sets said the beauty of submission,

the beauty of headship aside for a moment, the mystery of

marriage is beautiful period. The Lord invented marriage to

show us Christ in the church. It wasn't the other way around

Christ in the church is always first in the heart of God, that

was his first priority and he says, I want marriage to show

the world. This is supposed to preach the

gospel. The world should be able to look

into your marriage and say, if that's the gospel, sign me up

for that. Look at the devotion.

Look at the love. Look at the joy in the sacrifice

that he has for her. They should be able to say, look

at the submission, look at the honor.

Look at the respect, she has for him.

They're both thriving. They're both secure him walking

in The Godly. Masculine her enjoying the Godly

feminine and we do it all out of reverence for Christ.

It's all a part of our Christian worship.

In God's kingdom is seen in our lives.

When we obey God's word. Let all of this draw you to

worship. You've lost nothing.

You've lost nothing. Nothing again, back to our

analogy of the gas station, burrito versus the Feast of the

Lord is provided. Yeah.

Well, I'm familiar with the gas station burrito, fair enough,

fair enough, but come to the table of the Lord by faith,

because there is a rich feast, and there is better, there is

better, there is higher, there is more, there is a Grace, there

is a blessing, there is a reward.

Every parent has had that conversation with their kids.

You like I'm doing what's best? If you will rest in it and trust

it, you will Thrive under it. A foolish child doesn't see that

a foolish. Christian doesn't see a lot of

things, but let these things draw you to worship.

This is the Lord's. Good design.

God's kingdom is right side up. Even if everything else is

upside down. So, like I said, there's a lot

more to say, and we're going to say we're going to do a full

series on marriage. We're going to Go through and

get very detailed, it's going to be a blessing, I'm looking

forward to it. But in the meantime continue to

take this honest approach toward scripture, continue to take the

book for what it says and know that God has something good

there. And whenever I come up against

something go, I'm not so sure about that.

That's okay, you can take that to the Lord, Lord help me walk

this out. Show me what this means.

I got questions. I've got concerns, we're not

minimizing any kind of honesty. We're not shutting down

questions, but we're saying, let's, let's make our default.

Assumption Obedience. And then expect that as we walk

by faith, the Lord is going to guide us.

The Lord is going to lead us because Church the world needs

this picture. The world needs this picture,

the world needs to be able to look at Christian household and

go. Wow, that's beautiful, that's

beautiful, that's beautiful. What is that all about?

How do y'all do that? Why do y'all do that?

Well, it's Jesus in the church and here's how it works.

And here's how we try and apply and we don't do any of it

perfectly, but we're trying to do it faithfully.

And yeah, if you see any blessing here, it's because it's

just the Lord's way. We didn't invent any of this.

This is real old news this. What I've shared with you today

is literally, as old as time, it started in the garden and it's

going to continue forever as we joyfully submit to the Lord

Jesus Christ, for who he is for what he's done.

Let's do that now. God, we love you.

We worship you and we thank you for Jesus for his head of the

whole church. Jesus were thankful for your

model as you submit to the father.

So husband's submit to you. So wives submit to husband's, so

children submit to parents so workers and employees submit to

bosses and leaders. So we submit to all kinds of

authority structure God and we do it out of reverence for

Christ. Not because the authority is

perfect or deserving but because we love you and your will and

your ways. I ask that you would bring light

and Nation into our marriages into our households so that we

would walk in your best that we would walk in your highest.

They would walk in your most beautiful God help us as

husbands to grow. Help us as husband's to take the

active stance of blessing of protecting of providing and of

leading to look around our household and not say, how can I

establish my authority but to look around our household and

say what would be best for the people that I love so much?

And then to take action, And those things that is what the

headship of Christ looks like, what would be best for those

that I love and now I'll go take action on those things.

And I pray for wives Lord, that they would be able to submit

themselves and enjoy the beauty of the submission that they

would submit to their husbands as unto the Lord and enjoy the

peace. That comes enjoy, the surrender

of realizing that they don't have to carry certain burdens.

And that ultimately the burden rests on their husbands

shoulders and this is A good thing.

This is a blessing for them so that everyone can Thrive,

everyone has equal value and equal worth and your eyes and in

your sight Lord. Help us to apply these things

with wisdom. With Clarity and was Revelation

in Jesus name. And now the Lord bless you and

keep you the Lord, make his face shine down upon you and be

gracious to you. The Lord lift up his countenance

upon you and give you great. Peace in Jesus name.

Amen.