Ecstatically Married - Sex

All right, so this morning, we're talking about the s word

but it's not a four, letter word.

We're finishing our series called ecstatically married.

So for those of you joining us for the first time, we don't

want today to be jarring to you. So I'll give a little bit of

introductory had. We've had weeks to prepare

ourselves for this conversation to steal ourselves and go.

He's going to say it multiple times during this sermon, but

throughout this series called ecstatically married.

We did it. We did.

What is a man we did? What is a woman we Did it.

What is a husband? What is a wife?

What is marriage? We did headship.

We did submission. And then today, we're finishing

the series talking about sex. So, I'm going to be honest, I'm

going to be frank, I'm obviously not going to be graphic and

we're going to talk about God's good design.

God's intention for sex and marriage and what it would, what

it would look like to be ecstatically married.

So I don't think today is going to be anything that's going to

be exhaustive. We're not going to go.

As far as we could. We could obviously do whole

marriage Siri we could do a whole series talking just about

sex in different parts of God's design as it pertains to it.

So this is a surface level just a quick Over.

But my hope and expectation is that the word is still going to

encourage you. It's still going to bless you as

still going to open up conversation for husbands and

wives. And I've even prayed for singles

who would be in attendance today to that, they would be blessed.

If they would be refreshed, they would be encouraged by God's

good design. That they would be teachers for

others as as the situations would as they would have

opportunity to do so. So I'll tell you this, when it

comes to sex, there is Most definitely a sacred privacy for

the marriage bed. And this is one way that we keep

the marriage bed undefiled by not broadcasting things.

That ought not be broadcast. And yet we have often been in

the other ditch by saying absolutely nothing about sex in

the church it can easily be treated as a.

Hey, that's a necessary evil and just y'all figure it out like

I'm too uncomfortable to talk to you about it, everybody's too

uncomfortable about it. It's the whole joke like where

do babies come from? Go ask your mother.

The last your father well unfortunately in all the go ask

somebody else. The enemy in the world system

has been has been more than happy to answer every question

with lies. So in the vacuum that we've

created, Satan has been happy to be the primary voice on

sexuality in in the earth and the church should be the primary

voice for truth in everything that happens.

So we don't want to be in either ditch.

We don't want to publicize things, that ought not be

publicized and at the same time, I'm we don't want to be silent

on things when they should be talked about.

There's a wise approach, so the world is busy with the Demonic

and the over-sexualization of everything.

The world is literally, when I say the world, I mean, the world

system as opposed to God's kingdom the world system.

The one that Satan's kingdom, where he's raining temporarily

with limited power and limited ability.

But the world is busy, literally, making sex robots,

more lifelike, and the church, Church is embarrassed because

the Pastor said sex in his sermon, then we found it, deeply

inappropriate, like we've got to, we've got to make some

progress here, and we got to be able to go farther so that we

can help people and say what belongs to God and say, what's

good and say what's his jurisdiction.

So again we won't go too far into intimate details, but we

should boldly and joyfully declare.

The principles of God's word pertaining to sex, sex is the

distinguishing factor of marriage.

There's this one thing that you can't have anywhere else.

So well, I've got this. Marriage isn't just about sex.

Nobody said it was and yet that's the only place where sex

is to be present so well. Marriage is friendship, okay?

Well marriage. Is this a marriage?

Is that marriage? Is this okay?

But everything you just listed, I can also have elsewhere.

I can have friendship. I can have partnership.

I can have camaraderie. I can have team I can have any

of Other thing you could come up with, I could find pieces and

portions of that outside of marriage.

But there's still this one thing that only exists in exclusively

one place as the Lord intended, and as the Lord designed it.

So we don't want to make little of sex.

We want to make much of what the Lord makes much of we can make

little with the Lord makes a little of, but sex is important.

It's the one thing that you were to have with this one person in

marriage. As far as the purposes of sex,

go, we know that sex is for children, sex is for expressing

love. Sex is for expressing Unity.

It's for protection from sexual Temptation, and it is also for

pleasure. Now, I want to also say, as I go

through this message, as I'm going through this sermon, I'm

talking about normative circumstances, normative

circumstances, just like I talked through male and female

headship and submission. I was saying, hey, I'm

describing normative circumstances.

So like, I'm not speaking to the extreme 10% in either direction,

we're talking to the general Norm, so keep In mind that I'm

not going to be speaking to every possible extreme and every

possible scenario. You going well what about or

what about? That's perfect for the Q&A.

That's exactly what the the Q and A line is forced to send

that information in and we're going to cover everything that

we need to cover. And then the other thing I'll

add just before we dig in anymore is I will say that

sexual abuse is significant and it is a profound issue that

needs to be addressed. So it's not something that I'm

going to be able to dive into today.

But I'm going to say, it's an obvious wickedness, it's an evil

that has been committed against many.

Salman childhood some and adulthood, but it can often bear

scars with it. It can bring shame along with it

as people have been sinned against and unfortunately, it

can hinder the renewal of their own mind so it can bring with

it. A lot of baggage, a lot of push

and pull a misunderstanding. So as I'm talking about all this

stuff, just know that anyone who's experienced anything like

that, just know that I'm tender towards that the Lord is tender

towards that. But if you're saying man, you

just said that so callous. What about a scenario?

Well, Not, we're not going to be acknowledging.

All the possibilities. Today we're going to be talking

about the broad. Good design that the Lord has

for sex in marriage. Does that make sense?

So I'm going to start off in Genesis chapter 2.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

It's where we've been going for most of these sermons, right?

Genesis in the beginning, we see the Lord's design.

We see the Lord's intention Genesis chapter 2.

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

Verses 18 through 24. The Pinnacle of creation is not

the animals, it's not the Stars, it's not the moon, it's

humanity. And then on top of that, the

crown, the final Crown is is woman, but here we're about to

read, man, and woman, being joined together Verse 18.

Then the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be

alone. I will make him a helper fit for

him. Now, out of the ground, the Lord

God, formed every beast of the field and every bird of the

heavens and brought them to the man, to see what he would call

them. And whatever the man called.

Living creature. That was its name.

The man gave names to all the livestock into the birds of the

heavens and every beast of the field.

But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and

while he slept, he took one of his ribs and closed up its place

with flesh. And the red that the Lord had

taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the

man. Then the man said this at last

is bone of my bones and Flesh of My Flesh.

She shall be called woman because Cause she was taken out

of, man. Therefore a man shall leave his

father and mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall

become one flesh. And the man and his wife were

both naked and they were not ashamed naked and not ashamed.

One flesh, this is sexual expression.

This is what's taking place here.

This is the understanding of one flesh.

The idea is that we are the most exposed.

We can possibly be The most vulnerable parts of the human

body are joining together in the Covenant of marriage.

Like we've said all throughout this series, we said a man's

body teaches us. Something about masculinity,

that wasn't on accident. That was on purpose.

Men are stronger than women, that wasn't just got going here.

I'm it doesn't matter who gets what?

No, that was a purpose that was to signify, his role, his role

as protector provider leader. So he's bigger by design a

woman, women are beautiful. So, a woman is also a Erik Lora

fire, and a life-giver. Well, in the same way, the way

he designed the male and female reproductive system, they tell

us something. They tell us some obvious

things, it feels a little bit uncomfortable, maybe, but it's

obvious and it's not accidental everything, the Lord design.

He said, yeah, well, that's kind of like that.

That's kind of like this. Yeah, exactly the physical we've

said, before it images, the spiritual, the physical, and the

spiritual, or not, the physical bad, dirty gross, shameful the

Mmm. Holy now remember God is the

author of all things. He was the designer and all

these things are to be United as he intended instead of separated

and divorced from one another. So God calls it all very good.

He made everything, he calls it good, but when he makes man and

woman, he says, this is very good now, it's very good.

Woman is here, man. Is here, I've joined them

together. This is all very good.

The truth is this God's God designed sex.

It's all his idea. Every part of It everything that

happens, the sights, The Sounds, the smells The Taste, all of it

was his idea. God loves sex and the devil

hates sex. We mean by that, I thought the

devil loves sex. No, no.

The devil is just a pervert, God loves sex in its design and its

context, and Its Right Place. God says, I love it, it's very

good, it's the right thing. At the right time, it is a

beautiful gift that I given to humanity.

And we think well Satan is the one who's proud of it, though.

Satan is the one who exposes things that ought not be exposed

the world's System perverts things.

So God says, I've got something good.

True and beautiful. And Satan says, well then I'll

twist it. God says this is sacred for the

marriage bed. Satan says I'll put it all over

the Internet. God says this is pure and holy

and there's a there's a there's a modesty.

No in the marriage bed. No no modesty needed but it's

the modesty is the fact that it's contained within the

marriage bed. It's contained within the

marriage and Satan says then I'll expose it everywhere.

So that's that's what we mean when we say, God loves sex and

its proper context and Satan Sit.

This is God's jurisdiction. Our Father built this.

He owns it. He built every body part at

creation. He's not embarrassed by any of

it, it all belongs to him and therefore, it belongs to his

children. The church, we are the ones who

are the one. We're the only ones who can tell

anybody the truth about this because God gave us this gift.

It's ours. So we shouldn't sit back and

it's kind of like, a worldly thing, but we got to do it to

make kids. No, no, this belongs to God,

this belongs. To his people will teach, you

will instruct you and the in the sacred Beauty, we won't go

beyond where we need to but we won't stay silent any longer.

Either will say here's the right thing at the right time.

This is what it looks like. And that's the church's

responsibility to tell the world the truth.

So, what do we see about? God versus the devil, when it

comes to sex, well, God wants married people having sex

together and what is Satan wants?

Satan wants everyone except married people having sex

together. He wants every other

combination. Happening every because

everything else is perversion. Everything else is sinful,

everything else is Brokenness. Everything else is wrong.

So the devil can only pervert with the Lord is created and we

know now that sex is not a necessary.

Evil sex is a necessary good. This is why the phrase like or

you're just doing this because you want sex should never leave

your mouth from this moment forward, maybe you've been

guilty of it, it should never leave your mouth ever again or

even enter your mind. Saying you're just doing this

because you want sex is like saying that this person has been

caught doing something wrong like you caught him with their

hand in the cookie jar. You just, what want this

spiritual emotional and physical gift with the person who I loved

and made vows to guilty. You caught me, I'm I under

arrest like what, which which court is going to try me now,

you know? But again, that that shows are

wrong thinking about you just want and, but imagine, you know,

because a lot of the work that I do in the family leadership

stuff and talking about sex, Marriage.

I often times get objections. And why you talking about sex

and I said, brother sister, usually it's brother,

interestingly enough brother? Would you be okay, if I said,

I'm talking about family leadership and having great

conversations and marriage. And, of course, they're already

trapped because they know where I'm taking with them.

Great conversations are good, right?

Of course, I would say, amen. I think everybody would what is

it in my brother, though, that he's, why are you talking about

sex? What is it that you would think?

I shouldn't Something in him is thinking this is that's there's

something naughty and his mind, there's something, there's

something inappropriate, and it's not true.

Now, there's an inappropriate way to do that.

And honestly, I've been guilty of that, definitely been guilty

of it. Absolutely.

And I've repented of that sin and and hopefully will avoid it

in the future. But anytime you're dealing with

something on a spectrum. Well, how about?

I mean, there's people who say I've already sending this

sermon, you know, so you can't just chase the crowd but you

have to stay sensitive to the holy Here it say Lord help me to

be wise. Help me to talk about this in a

way that's wise in a way, that's Godly in a way.

That's wholly. But also, in a way that's Frank

also in a way that's just honest and plain speaking.

I mean, literally we're adults. So we are all comfortable with

these conversations privately and yet we also need teaching

biblically so there were not just so that we're not just

mysteriously combining ideas together.

All right I got off of my point here so this is why we would

never say something like Just doing this because you want

because again you're acting like someone's been caught red-handed

and their hands in the cookie jar but it's not.

Their hand is actually on the dinner plate.

And this is the feast that the Lord has provided for marriage.

So like I said, you know, I'm guilty.

Yes of wanting God's spiritual physical and emotional gift to

our marriage, but there are three there are typically three

approaches towards sex, three perspectives, that we come to

sex with. We either treat sex as God, we

treated as gross, or we can receive it as a gift.

Those are Typical. And sometimes we got a

combination of three sex as a God would mean that we've, I

doubt we've turned it into an idol.

Like my whole life is about sex. I'm controlled by my sexual

urges, that's a bad clip. That's going to get you someday

on the podcast, like, I'm controlled by my sexual urges.

This is where sex is idolized or worship.

This is where sex is ultimately sexual, pleasure is your master,

and you are at slave, you don't have compassion for anyone.

You don't have compassion for your spouse.

You're not. Patients with your spouse.

You exclusively after the physical expression, most of the

time in this case of sex, and this is where it's the ultimate,

it is the ultimate expression of all, of all life.

And although, we know it's good and we said marriage is

normative. We see clearly that Jesus was

never married and Jesus didn't experience any kind of sexual

expression on the earth so it is very possible as the Apostle

Paul taught. He said, hey, I wish everybody

was like me. He said, but it's better to

marry than to burn with passion. So he's saying, it's kind of

funny. We've got the normative design

for marriage. Paul's going, you know what?

It's great. You can devote yourself more to

the Lord, but absolutely marriage is a protection against

sexual immorality. So God, we could treat it as a

god, a false. God, we could treat it as gross.

This is where sex is shameful. It's naughty.

It's just inappropriate. It's the sun forsen.

It's this unfortunate necessity and it's just for procreation

and it's just You know, just to appease my spouse at the

absolute minimums. Whenever I have to or we can see

it the way God sees it, that sex is a gift to be received with

gratitude and with joy. There's an appropriate time and

a place open the gift and that time and place is marriage but

in marriage, it should be fully open.

So there's a time and a place for sexual expression, but once

you've gotten to that time and place, it can be wide open to be

richly enjoyed, because it's God's good gift.

And this is the perspective that God has and this is why we're

renewing our minds towards it in this very message.

So I'm gonna have you turned to Song of Solomon?

You thought I was inappropriate? I'm just about I'm just about to

read out loud to you and it's about to get way worse.

Psalms Proverbs Ecclesiastes Song of Solomon.

So throughout different Jewish Traditions throughout history,

The Song of Solomon and not it wasn't Universal.

But there was times and places where young men were not even

allowed to read this portion of the Bible, Because it was so

obvious. What was being described?

It was so plain. It was so obviously explicit as

to what was taking place as Anatomy is being represented by

fruit. But there's a there's a

passionate love being expressed between a husband and a wife

here. The Bible is are rated in case

you hadn't noticed. So Song of Solomon and I'm just

going to take a couple selections here.

What is my point? What is my motive here?

My motive is to steal just show you and convince you that sex is

good. Sex is good.

Well in the right place. Yeah.

Well that's what we're talking about.

We're only talking about its design.

Yeah, that's that's all we have in mind.

Here we reject sexual immorality, completely, and any

sexual expression outside of a man and woman is sexual

immorality. It's fornication.

It's adultery. Jesus said, if I've lusted, then

I've committed adultery. So everybody in this room is

likely guilty of sexual sin that makes us, I could feel shame

there except that we don't, because we've been forgiven and

cleanse and we want to pursue Holiness.

We want to continue to see God's best fulfilled our lives.

So, in Song of Solomon, we have Solomon and his bride.

Well, one of them. That's another sermon but

Solomon and his bride loving one another.

We see this is, this is beautiful, poetry.

It's written to. And from you can read its, it

will be he and then, it'll be she, and they're expressing

their love to one another and it's this song, it's what's

called its Song of Solomon. It's not a math equation, it's

not calculus. It is beautiful masculine to

feminine poetry and love. Chapter 1, verses 12 and 13.

We have, she is speaking to the groom, while the King was on his

couch minority gave forth its fragrance.

My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh that lies between my

breasts. My beloved is, to me, a cluster

of henna blossoms in The Vineyards of in guilty in

guilty. So as you can see body parts

already being described here, fragrance is being described.

And all this is seen is a beautiful gift.

We're expressing this love towards one another.

In Chapter 2 verses 3 through 7. She speaking again, she said as

an apple tree among the forest of apples, so is my beloved

among the young men with great Delight, I sat in his shadow and

his fruit was sweet to my taste. He brought me to the banqueting

house and His Banner Over Me. Was love.

Sustain me with raisins. Refresh me with apples.

For, I'm sick with love, his left hand is under my head and

his right. Right hand, Embraces me.

I Adore You O Daughters of Jerusalem by the gazelles of the

dose of the field that you not stir up or awaken love until it

pleases. I'm going to keep reading.

I don't think you're uncomfortable enough.

Yet Chapter 4 verses 1 through 7 now.

Now he's speaking to his bride behold.

You are beautiful my love behold.

You are beautiful. Your eyes are doves behind your

Veil. Your hair is like a flock of

goats. These are not pick up lines that

I recommend. I don't think they've all aged.

Well, but at the time I think it was the right thing.

Your wife comes home. I got my hair done.

Wow, babe. It's like a flock of goats like

that's not what Natalie wants to hear.

What? She's come back from the salon?

I don't think babe. You look like a goat.

I love it. I love it.

Your teeth are like a flock of Shoring use babe.

Your teeth are like sheep that have come up from the washing

all of which bear twins. Maybe I guess when she comes

home from the dentist, you know you're just like wow hey the

really pearly white like just beautiful.

Notice Psalm is making his way South here.

They all bear Twins. And not one of them has lost its

young, your lips are like a Scarlet, thread and your mouth

is lovely. Your cheeks are like halves of a

pomegranate behind your Veil. Your neck is like the Tower of

David built built in rows of stone on it.

Hang a thousand Shields. All of them Shields of Warriors,

your two breasts are like two fawns twins of a gazelle that

graze among the lilies until the day breathe And the Shadows

flee. I will go away to the mountain

of myrrh and to the hill of Frankincense.

So he's saying you got these two Twin Peaks.

I'm going to go to both mountains.

Like again, just it says, what it says, it's obviously

describing. But again, it's beautiful, it's

poetic it's loving. It's, it's compassionate.

There's vulnerability here. Verse 7, you are altogether,

beautiful my love. There is no flaw in you.

Come with me from Lebanon. My Bride.

Come with me from Lebanon. So, I recommend reading Song of

Solomon in the context of understanding the marital love,

the sexual love. It's being expressed between a

husband and a wife here as a way because the word of God is

powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword.

You should study and receive and instruction, and in the whole

counsel of the word of God and all these things are intended to

bless us. So, if you haven't read the Song

of Solomon over your marriage bed and over you and your spouse

together then do. So I feel a little bit strange

with that and I I can understand that that's a common thing.

That's probably a little bit of the Sexes.

Gross thing. Like we have to kind of close

the door, make sure the Lord's not watching, you know, like

make sure he's not aware of what's going on in here.

And in fact, just the opposite happens in The Song of Solomon,

the Lord tells the couple he says drink drink enjoy one.

Another like have added. This is a this is a banquet

Feast that I prepared for you. This is a spiritual gifts.

I've given to you, this is a physical gift, I've given to

you. This is an emotional gift I've

given to you enjoy. Drink deeply.

Is the right thing at the right time and the right place, it's

Rich. It's beautiful.

Sex is more like poetry than it is calculus Song of Solomon.

Shows us that it's more of a dance than it is a transaction.

It's a song and it's not an equation.

So this book is romantic and it is sexually obvious.

A whole book of the Bible that has been dedicated to sexual

love. There's no mention of making

babies here, although that's a primary mention of of the sexual

expression in Genesis Multiply, that's an important good and

godly thing to do, but the Lord didn't have to make pleasure

connected with it but he did. So there's no mention of making

babies here but lots of obvious passion.

So what do we see? When we see that sex is for

pleasure, there are body parts. There are nerve endings, that

are specifically created. They have no other purpose,

other than pleasure, they don't accomplish anything other than

that. Feels wonderful, that's

delightful. This is a good gift from God.

What else do we know about sex? Well, we know that, There is an

emotional bond that's created. We know there's an emotional

bond, that brings a great comfort to a marriage even when

everybody's not all hot and bothered, even when everybody's

not really excited to race to the bedroom together, we see.

David and Bathsheba after their baby dies, the scripture says

and David went into her to comfort her and you could you

could also tell that story a different way.

Hey, the baby just died. Can we do it now but that's not

what was happening at all. Now, could things be done,

selfishly? Absolutely.

They can be done selfishly but things can be done lovingly and

there's a time and a place, right?

There's an appropriateness to that but this married this

couple was experiencing the bond, the Comfort.

We need one another. We just need to be close.

We're sad. We just need to be well, I'm not

up for that right now. Well, that they weren't, I don't

think either of them was particularly probably fired up

like they probably were. Unfortunately when their Affair

begin, when their Affair began, But in this moment, they're

coming together. And they're saying, let's let's

Comfort one another in this moment of sadness.

So we see that there is a pleasure to sex, but we see that

there's a comfort to sex. It's not always gonna be

fireworks, said I was going to be, this is the most amazing

thing that we've ever done the the best it's ever been.

But have we loved one another? Have we cared for one another

are we being compassionate? Or we being loving?

Or we being vulnerable, but sex is not exclusively physical.

If it was, we'd have no problem with our spouse.

Sharing this gift with Else like it was a handshake.

So the world acts, like they say, they treat it and they talk

like well it's just, it's just that like we're just mammals

like, we're just animals doing things, but it's not true and we

know it. Well can you prove it out?

Well, nature proves it out. Like this is a truth that we

hold to be self-evident. This is a self-evident truth and

I'm going to make myself Dumber by pretending it's not already

obvious. We know this to be true.

We a handshake is a surface level thing.

A hug goes, Farther, a kiss goes farther, but then the act of

marriage. A husband inserts himself into

his wife's body. This is graphic.

This is explicit and God says is very good in the context of

marriage. This is a beautiful thing.

That's the to literally becoming one flesh.

Two separate bodies. Have actually literally joined

together and they have sealed the Covenant, they made the

Covenant vows they stood before God and the witnesses and they

made the Covenant vows and they said I'm forsaking all others.

Devoted to you and my sexual life is your sexual life and my

body is no longer mine but it's now yours.

But then sealing the marriage covenant happens by.

Hey, let's go consummate this thing now, now we've made the

vows and now we're the two were going to become one flesh.

Literally. We're going to join so that

there's no separation. We can't get any closer than in

the sexual expression. In the Lord says, it's very

good. It's all very good.

We should note here that the whole Bible is about Jesus, the

whole Bible is about Christ in the church.

So there was some who would say No, No Song of Solomon is only

about Christ in the church. It's a picture of Christ and his

bride. Well, first of all, yes, it most

definitely is about Christ and his bride just like David and

Goliath is about Jesus defending us where the where the terrified

Israelites but the one righteous one Rises up and defeats our

enemy just like Moses and Israel points to Christ in the church.

But those things were still literally there.

There's things still literally happened.

Moses was real, David was real. Solomon is why for real and the

Holy Spirit Soul, good and saw fit to make it into the Canon of

scripture, this design in this explanation of sexual expression

between a husband and wife. So it's not one or the other,

it's both and but we look at what's written.

And we say, God, you're good. Help us to learn, help us to

grow, renew our minds with your way, with your words.

The problem with Renewing, Your Mind is the enemy is also trying

to unrwa new it constantly. We don't get to the place where,

where, oh, I'm finished now. Well, unfortunately, you still

I'll live in the world and there's still an enemy and

they're still demonic attack and they're still fleshly

Temptation. So the renewing, the Mind

process isn't a finish line that we're ever going to cross.

It's a life that we're going to keep living.

It's a walk that we're going to keep walking.

So this is important. It's not man.

I heard A good sermon one time that you need.

Fresh manna that was yesterday's man.

That that's not going to keep until tomorrow.

And this goes with all of our lives, this is why you must feed

on and love the Bible. This is why you must continue.

To read your Bible and love God's word.

So, the truth is, there's a lot of mystery here in sex, but we

recognize that there are depths to intimacy.

And as we said before the physical images, the spiritual

and its proper context. Sex has been called spiritual

warfare. I heard somebody say that.

That way. One time again it's one of those

things will can you prove that you have inverse of that?

No but I know it's true. I've seen I've Perience.

I've heard testimony of just where the bond of a husband and

wife was a protection and a blessing.

So even knowing that sex is a spiritual warfare.

That's taking place a blessing for the body of Christ.

A blessing for marriage. When it comes to sexuality.

The marriage bed has everything that you need and nothing that

you don't need. Everything that you need in

sexuality, can be fully found in fully expressed in the marriage

bed. But the truth is this sex is a

fire. Sex is a passionate fire which

is why she gives the warning. He or she says, Daughters of

Jerusalem so she's with her husband now but she's saying I'm

warning, you young sisters to the virgin's to her to her

virgin friends who would have been celebrating her marriage.

She's saying don't awaken love before its time.

Don't put the wrong place, the wrong thing in the wrong place.

If I was to build a fire right here in this room, that's the

wrong thing in the wrong place. We lit a building on fire.

We've destroyed something. But if I build a fire in the

fireplace or in the wood stove, what have we done?

We've warned the home. We can cook on it.

It's the proper thing. Sex is a fire.

You can be warmed by, or you can be burned by it.

Can a man, take a fire into his chest and not be burned.

Can you pick up sex with with your hands and not be burned by

it? No.

What does that referencing? Well, that's referencing sexual

immorality. I can't I can't experience

sexual immorality in my life and not bear.

The scars that come from it. There's wounds, there's damage

and there's consequence that comes from that.

But if sex is in the fireplace, if the fire is, sorry if the

fires in the fireplace, then it can warm your home.

It can cook your food. Fire can bring good memories,

but if fire isn't in the right place, it can destroy a home.

It can destroy a forest or it can destroy a city.

It's a fire. Where is it going to be one of

the marriage bed. That's the fire we want.

Praise God for it but outside of it is destructive.

The fireplace is marriage, everywhere else is sinful and

destructive sexual immorality, lust adultery pornography

homosexuality and Beyond are all picking up fire with your bare

hands. So sex is a very important part

of marriage. But like we said, it's not the

only part, but we also need to say that if a husband or wife is

interested in them in their spouse sexually, then they're

going to show their expression of love in every other our area

of life as well. It's not going to just show up

in one area. It's the wrong thing to do to

pursue your wife. Only at the moment of I'm

interested in you and I'd like to take you to the bedroom.

Well y-you just said it's physical, its spiritual and it's

emotional. Well, it is, and that's true.

And that makes sense. And yet a man who loves his wife

is always going to be pursuing her in other ways as well.

So a husband is to pursue his wife.

Continually wife is to pursue her husband continually, but

it's true that there is such a thing as a sex drive.

And God has given the sex drive to us and generally a man is

going to have a higher sex drive than a woman.

We're saying some things that are common knowledge here and

again, I'm speaking in generalizations, but this drive

is for us as men, not something to be apologize for not

something to be ashamed of, but allowing us to drive.

Not just directly in a straight line towards sex, but to drive

us to be the man that our wives would want to be with.

Anyway, allow your sex drive Brothers to be something that

fuels you to say, let me bless. My wife and every way possible

and in the same way, a wife is, so why have a sex drive as well?

Praise God, that's a good and wonderful thing.

But it's also again to be fuel for your tank to say, how can I

pursue my husband in every way? How do we have this Rich bond in

in all of our marriage? So that the marriage bed, just

becomes the obvious expression rather than this is a nightmare.

But maybe we can, at least go to the bedroom and enjoy one

another. That's not what we're after

here. What we're after is, there's

this Rich Bond and of course. And of course this too and of

Course, this, at any given moment, we could go in this

direction because there's such the Baseline of Health.

There's such the Assumption of love, and it's so obvious, and

so present all the time. Well, we don't always get that,

right. He didn't always get that right.

She didn't always get that right.

Oh, it sounds like you married, a human being just like the rest

of us. Which is why we offer Grace,

which is why we offer kindness. This is why we offer

forgiveness. And which is why we also need to

make plain our desires. Hey Especially for a wife.

Hey, here's what I'm feeling. Here's what I'm feeling.

Hey, I'm feeling a little forgotten today.

Oh, okay. Now he can choose to do

something with that. Now, he can actually step into

that go. Hey, I love you, I miss you.

I'm sorry, I've been out of it. I've been, I've been focused on

work rather than accusing him and judging him ladies.

Remember like we talked about in the submission sir, your this

you're awful, you're too much. All these things like now, here

we go. Who can who can win this fight

instead of, here's what I'm feeling or the husband in the

same way? Hey, hey, beautiful, I got plans

for you. Later.

Well, I don't know. I don't know if I'm feeling it.

Okay, well then, then we can work towards this together

because this is a priority for us.

A wife is not to be the keeper of this ex-husband is not to be

the secret of the sex. God is The Giver of the Sexes to

marriage. There's not one who says, well

I'll hold it and if you jump through the Hoops properly, then

perhaps I shall reward you. This is a sin to be repented of

it is common. It's in every sitcom you've ever

seen and it is the it is the Baseline assumption for marriage

in the west and it's sinful It should be repented of I kind of

like that because I was away. I was holding power.

I bet you did and you should repent of it because it's not

surrender. It's not submission again.

A husband and wife should be eager to please one another.

You can express your desire but you should also receive pleasure

by giving pleasure, we're just talking more practically here.

This is a, this is something that some couples forget about,

there's a selfishness that can come into place like, well, I

got what I was interested in. Well, your spouse is your

priority as well, like you should enjoy.

Oi and have a great, have a great time with your spouse.

And yet, you should be all in for whatever your spouse

interests, and desires are the same thing would go with

frequency. What should our frequency be?

I'm not going to be the referee and your bedroom, but are both

spouses satisfied are both spouses happy with where things

are. Well, this one is but this one

isn't. Okay, well, the one who isn't

then we want to bring them to a place of satisfaction and

desire. We want to give and welders,

it's not that simple. I understand that literally I do

this stuff for a living and I Way farther into the weeds, a

lot of times. And so I'm not naive.

So I don't want you to think that was just an idealistic

pitch, and this guy doesn't have any grasp on reality, and

there's a lot of details, there's a lot of factors,

they're all of which we have a way forward through all of,

which can be overcome, all of which can be overcome.

How can you say that? So confidently?

Because I know my God, I know who he is, and I know what he's

intended for you. This series is not an idealistic

pitch of, hey, you know what I knocked.

It out of the park and you can too.

Why? Because I didn't, because I

didn't and many haven't. But after sin, there comes

repentance. And it's after my sin and

ignorance that I started to grow and started to see God's best.

And I've seen it in many others, but circumstances aside God has

a path forward. So no matter where you are, no

matter where you are in your sex, life in your marriage, you

can always find the next PATH forward.

But again, this is done with a focus on How can I be a giver?

How can I care for the person that I love so much?

Is their sin that I need to repent of.

Like we said, this fire of fornication, it all has to be

repented of. We can't minimize it.

It's, it's prevalent in our culture.

It's prevalent in the church, it's not, it's not exclusively

with men, either. It's it happens with men.

It happens with women. Pornography is damaging, and

destroying people's brains literally.

It's damaging people's marriage beds.

All these things are sins to be, to be brought About to be

exposed to be confessed. Well, I don't want to do that

because of the shame, except that Christ will forgive and

that Christ brings Grace. So there's a lot more that we

could say. But what we want to do is, we

want to understand the principles, the principles are

God, made it, he calls it good. So we also call it very good.

It's not a gift that wives gives a husbands or give their

husbands give two wives. It's a gift that God has given

to marriage. We can pursue it with joy.

We can pursue it with freedom and we can navigate any other

roadblocks along the way. Well, I've got Abuser, I've got

these triggers. Hey we're going to be

compassionate towards one another.

You got the safest place you're ever going to find in the

marriage bed in the marriage. Covenant, I'm with you, I'm for

you to the end. But honey husband wife, let's

move forward. Ford for doesn't mean 100 miles

an hour. Don't be afraid.

Ford can mean, let's take our foot off, the brake, our foots,

been on the brake, potentially I'm giving an example here.

Maybe we haven't even started the car in some of our cases.

They were going to, uh, it's it's this, it's this thing that

we've just, we've put aside, we stop talking about it or we just

don't we only fight about it. I want you to have real Freedom

here. I want you to have real

breakthrough because I know the Lord.

On the other side of it has a lot of help and a lot of Hope

for you. To close it out.

Obviously everything that the Lord is designed is always a

picture of Christ in the church. And there are some who are who

would Rage Against the idea that that the sexual expression is a

reference to the New Birth. Honestly, I can't unsee it.

It's hard for me to not see the obvious design of What the Lord

Has Done in the act of sex and in the act of how the Lord would

fill his people and give them new life.

And the way a man would do the same thing.

His wife like to not make that connection seems to me like,

difficult to, not to not draw those lines.

And yet, at the same time, we never want to sexualize our

relationship with the Lord, anything like that would be

demonic and we would reject that entirely, that would be utter

nonsense. Foolishness and disgusting.

So there's there's nothing in scripture taught that way and

yet everything that the Lord has done, I'm closing with this, my

point is, everything comes back to Jesus.

So as we keep first things first, as we are people who love

the Lord, as we were people who Of his word as we were, people

who are humble and submitted to him, people of the table of God,

who come to him for forgiveness, who come to him for help, who

come to him for, Hope who come to him for guidance, we can find

a path forward here because the Lord has given it to his people.

We no longer need to be confused.

We no longer need to be ashamed. Well, I still don't know what it

looks like. Well then that's what that's

what we want to do with our Q&A Service as well.

That's why we want to take time to say, I want you to try to

stump me, you're going to try to stop me.

I hope but you're going to fail because the Lord has a path

forward. Always knows what to do.

So please keep sending questions into the text line.

We've only had like three come in so far and they're good

questions but still not the volume and I know you've got

more questions. So I want to go as far as we can

and get into everything because you're going, will you?

You avoided this? I have an intended to avoid

anything so I don't want to skirt around anything that you

may be stumped on or struggling with.

Hey Pastor, here's what's up. Can you speak to this?

Can you speak to that and Natalie?

And I are looking forward to doing that but again, everything

comes back to Jesus as we put him first, It's in our marriage,

it brings a couple closer together, but no, the may know

that the marriage bed is a good gift to your marriage.

It's something to be enjoyed and it's something to be cultivated

Heavenly Father, we thank you for your word.

We thank you for your good design of marriage.

We thank you for your good design of sex inside of

marriage. It is a fire that is intended to

warm. It is intended to heal.

It is intended to bless so Lord, we ask that you would make us a

people who have Clarity make us of people of Holiness.

Make us a people of delight so that we would enjoy your best

and your highest that we would unwrap the gift appropriately

and that we would enjoy it in the right place.

The right time for the right reasons, help us to engage in

this. Spiritual is physical and this

emotional joy that you've provided for your creation and

Lord help us to continually drawing nearer to you.

You have made us new, you have filled your people Lord, with

new life, you have given us. Desires.

You help us to want the right things for the right reasons.

So I pray for the marriages in this church.

As we close out this series for every marriage represented here,

present insult Church in this day and for all those who even

be listening to this marriage Series in the future, I plead

the blood of Jesus over them. God, I ask that you would

protect them from the attacks of the enemy.

He wants to destroy the marriages in the church.

He doesn't want them to represent Christ and his bride.

He doesn't want married people to enjoy your good gift of sex.

Lord, I pray that you would open our eyes, you would draw us to

repentance where it's needed. And you would give us wisdom.

Make us a people of compassion, fill us with an ultimate love

for our spouses. That husbands would love wives

like Christ loves the church that wives would submit to and

respect their husbands like the church does to Christ.

Glorify your name through it all preach Your Truth through our

lives in every way possible and help us to be living sacrifices

who lay down on your own. Later and say It's All For Your

Glory, may it be a sweet Aroma to you Lord.

We thank you for it in Jesus name.

And now the Lord bless you and keep you the Lord, make his face

shine down upon you and be gracious to you.

The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you great.

Peace in Jesus name. Amen.

Miss Natalie, you got