Matthew Pt. 70 - Forgiving Others

Matthew chapter 18. So the passage we're in, we're

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

going to be in verses 21 through 35 today.

You will remember we've interrupted Jesus in the middle

of his teaching. But the context here is we

started with at the top of chapter 18.

At that time, the disciples came to Jesus saying who is the

greatest in the Kingdom of heaven?

And then he brings a small child, probably a toddler in and

says, if you want to be great in the Kingdom, you have to become

humble. So we emphasized humility.

And then he began to teach how all people in his church need to

be childlike in their perspective, childlike in their

faith. There is no, there's no adults

in the body of Christ. We're all to be childlike and

humble, taking the low sea and the low spot, deferring to one

another. And then he talks about the

warnings of causing a Christian to sin.

And then he talks about how there's temptation is

inevitable, but don't let it come through you.

And then he goes on to talk about if there is a lost sheep,

how them being restored is such an important thing because God

loves the lost sheep and he wants them to be restored in

context. Then he talks to us about church

discipline. He says, look, here's what

you're supposed to do if your brother sins against you,

brother or sister in the body of Christ, if they sin against you,

you are to go to them one-on-one and let them know so that you 2

can be restored. It's not crazy drama.

It's not. Have you heard what they did?

The very first step one is, hey, I got to bring this thing to

you. We talked about all the all the

variances there. It was a really, really

important message. If you didn't, if you weren't

here for it, go back and listen to it on the podcast.

It is something that Christians often don't practice enough and

it leads to all kinds of problems that is completely

avoidable and totally unnecessary.

And then what do I do if that person doesn't respond to that

well, and Jesus addressed that as well.

If they don't respond to that, well, then you can go with one

or two others and you say, hey, we're coming to you together.

We want you restored. We want to clear this whole

thing up. But here's here's the

expectations that you would come to repentance and then that

person is restored. What if they don't respond to

them? Then Jesus says, well, then you

would escalate and you would tell it to the church to

clarify. That doesn't necessarily mean

that Pastor James has to stand in front of the church on a

Sunday morning, but there is a way to to let all appropriate

parties know, hey, it's official.

Unfortunately, brothers so and so or sisters so and so is

acting not like a brother, not like a sister.

Consistently they've rejected the counsel of the body.

And we do this with fear and with trembling.

But we are officially severing them from the fellowship of this

local body. So we were saying do not eat

with them, do not fellowship with them.

Why do we hate them? No, no, it's because we love

them. We need them to feel the pain of

the separation so that they will actually come to repentance.

Because the worst thing we could do for them is to keep going.

Oh, everything's fine. Everything's fine.

When they have sin in their life, it's not everything fine.

So we're we're comforting them and say, oh, well, I know Pastor

said he hasn't, but I still want to get with you.

I still want to share a meal with you.

Well, then you would be the next one under church discipline

because we love this person and we need them to feel the

importance of that separation. Why?

So they can be restored. And then also when they are

restored, you pull them right back in as soon as there's

repentance. We are more than eager, more

than willing. If if someone had been removed

from fellowship in that way and they say, hey, I'm really so

like, come on back in. We're throwing the party.

We kill the fatted calf, get the gold ring.

Now you get the robe. And everybody else sitting who

had been in the church the whole time faithfully goes, what about

us, about you? Everything was always yours.

Don't be like the older brother in the in the parable.

Don't be like the older brother who goes, well, how do I get a

party? Well, because there's more

rejoicing in heaven over one who was lost, who returns, than over

the 99 who are always there. So everybody's loved,

everybody's cherished, but we rejoice, we make a big deal, and

we really stick it to the devil whenever somebody has repented.

And when they come back, we go praise God, ha ha, another one

back into the Kingdom, back into the fold.

So that's our heart. We are gracious, but we are, we

are people who are also going to be direct.

We're not going to play around with sin.

And at the same time, we are quick to forgive and quick to

see people restored. So that's Jesus's plan, and then

we continue that. That's the context where he just

finishes. So he says, again, if you agree

about anything, it will be done by my Father in heaven.

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am

among them. So Jesus is teaching, again in

context is all about forgiveness and all about church discipline.

It wasn't what we've often heard it made to be many different

times. So the context there, Jesus is

saying that he has placed his authority on his church.

So when his church makes a right judgment, he supports that with

heaven. Pretty crazy.

Jesus gives us the keys to the Kingdom and he says I authorize

and I deputize my church in the earth, just like Jesus is

authorized and deputize. The state.

The state, the civil magistrate, has the power to literally kill

a human being that has been given to them by the Lord Jesus

Christ. They bear not the sword in vain

so they can kill people. Why?

Because it's their assignment and mission from God to punish

the evil doer and to reward the righteous.

The household has the authority to discipline children

appropriately as an authority given by Jesus.

And in the church there is also an authority, right?

Because we know you can't really have authority if there's not

actually power to accomplish something.

We can't just care a whole lot and take responsibility for

everything and then have no ability to actually see

something through to the finish line.

So there's an authority in the body of Christ.

So the disciples have just heard all this about restoration,

about discipline, about correction.

And that's what brings us to our passage right here in verse 21.

Then Peter came up to him and said to him, Lord, how often

will my brother sin against me and must I forgive him?

So this is the context. We've continued and all in the

same breath Jesus has explained it.

The whole context is in church discipline.

That's where we just were. That's the connection Jesus is

making. He's talked to us about

confronting and correcting sin, and now we make this natural

trans transition into forgiving. So let's pick up from verse 21.

Peter came to him and said, Lord, how often will my brother

sin against me? And I forgive him as many as

seven times. Jesus said to him, I do not say

to you 7 times, but 77 times. Therefore the Kingdom of heaven

may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with

his servants. When he began to settle, one was

brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents.

And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold,

and with his wife and children all that he had, and payment to

be made. So the servant fell on his knees

imploring him, Have patience with me, and I will pay you

everything. And out of pity for him, the

master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow

servants who owed him 100 denarii.

And seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, You pay what

you owe. So his fellow servant fell down

and pleaded with him, Have patience with me, and I will pay

you. He refused, and went and put him

in prison until he should pay the debt.

When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were

greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their

master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and

said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt

because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had

mercy on your fellow servant, as I have mercy on you?

And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers

until he could pay all his debt. So also my Heavenly Father will

do to everyone of you if you do not forgive your brother from

your heart. God, we take your word with

weight and gravity this morning. I pray that we wouldn't overlook

it and that we wouldn't minimize it.

I pray, Holy Spirit, that you would bring the the full

revelation and all the blessing that comes with it, all the

warning that comes with it, all the encouragement that comes

with it, all the comfort that comes with it.

Lord, You are fit to minister to us everything that we need, all

that we need to receive, for we've received so much

forgiveness already. I pray that you would, that you

would massage that truth in Revelation even deeper into US

today so that we would be so quick and so eager and so

excited to pass that forgiveness along to others.

We thank you for your grace, we thank you for your help, and we

thank you for the anointing. Now on your word in Jesus name,

Amen. Back to verse 21.

Peter came and said, how often will my brother sin against me

and I forgive him. It was taught at that time by

rabbis and different religious leaders that you should forgive

somebody three times and after that no more forgiveness.

So that was the cap. It was like, hey, they sending

that she wants you should forgive them.

Wow, I'm pretty pretty gracious guy sending against me again.

You know what I'm such a good guy.

I'm going to forgive you again sending us me a third time.

I'll forgive you again sending us a fourth time, no more.

That's it, time's up. And that's too much.

So Peter thinking, man, I know 3 is normal, but he's like, but I

know Jesus. I've seen his grace, I've seen

his forgiveness. So I bet he's going to beat the

three numbers. So Peter's going to watch this

guy's Lord. Shall I forgive 7 times?

He's maybe thinking, Oh well done Peter.

Maybe, maybe thinking for another one of those moments

like he's had, but instead he is no Peter.

Not 7 * 77 times or you've heard 70 times sevens.

Different translations would would say different times.

Jesus. Point is that you're not keeping

counts. The point is not that you can't

go that was 71 or 70 * 7 or that was 491, so now time's up for

you. That's not the perspective.

So other transcripts say that you have 70 * 7.

The point is that you're not keeping count.

The point is that you offer unlimited forgiveness because 70

* 7 is 490. Has God forgiven you for more

than 490 sins? Everybody say yes, God has

forgiven you for more than 490 sins.

Anybody sin this week? OK, I'm just just making sure

that I wasn't the only one. So God has forgiven us.

And again, some of y'all are like 490.

That might even be a slow week for me, I don't know.

But regardless, we see His mercy, we see His kindness

towards you, we see His love towards you.

God loves you. Sometimes we've been so used to

the message. Sometimes people have heard the

gospel for so long in their lives.

They've heard so much about forgiveness.

They've heard so much about grace.

You can be tempted to take it for granted.

You could, you can be tempted to become self-righteous at that

point. That's the older brother in the

parable of the prodigal son, the one who's wasteful.

And the older brother goes, well, he wasted everything and

he shouldn't be celebrated. He shouldn't be rejoiced.

And the father goes, son, your brother was dead and now he's

alive. He was lost and now he's found.

We should celebrate. This is a great joy.

That parable was told really not even for the lost guy like

everybody thinks it was. It was a parable told against

the Pharisees. That's who Jesus was telling it

for. It wasn't about the probable,

although that is a direct application we should make.

The parable was actually to rebuke the Pharisees and say,

I'm pulling in all these lost sheet that you religious leaders

don't like. He says, and you're the you're

the older brother. You're the older brother who's

jealous and who's petty and who's selfish and who is

unforgiving. But God is so gracious.

God who is so gracious and so kind and so merciful, He expects

the same for us. And verse 24, when the king

began to settle and this parable that Jesus told this guy owed

him 10,000 talents. So remember, a talent is a

measurement of money. It's a large sum of money.

One talent is 20 years wages for an average laborer.

So whenever you hear the parable of the talents, you'd say, hey,

he was given one talent. So, so this is a high level

business guy and he's got other high level people on his team.

He's going, hey, I'm going to go away on a journey.

I'm giving you one talent want you to manage this resource.

I'm giving you 2 talents want you to manage this resource.

That's 40 years worth of of a laborer's income.

And the other guys gives 5 talents.

So he knew what their abilities were and he judged the risk

appropriately, but that's how much this is.

So one talent was 20 years wages.

So 10,000 talents of the common laborer, that's what a common

laborer would make in about 200,000 years.

So that's a ton of money. This is Elon kind of money.

It's this is billions and billions of dollars in our

economy today. And that's the point that Jesus

is making. And the point Jesus is really

making is not Even so much about the dollar amount.

The point is like, look, somebody owes a guy good

jillions of dollars, OK? It's a debt he can't pay.

That's really the spirit of the thing here.

And then as we keep going, verse 25, and since he could not pay,

his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children

and all that he had and payment to be made.

So you're about to lose your whole life because you owe me

everything. So I'm going to sell your wife

into slavery. I'm going to sell your kids into

slavery. That way I can recoup some

money. I'm going to sell you into

slavery and everything that you already do on.

And I'm going to sell all of it. And then I'm going to get, at

least I'm going to. Yeah, I'm still going to take a

massive loss, but I'm going to get something back.

But now, of course, this man's about to lose his entire life.

He's now in desperation. So what does he do?

He does what I would do. He does what you would do.

He begs for more time. Like he's ever going to have

enough time, by the way, to pay this off.

It's not like, oh, wait, I've got some new Internet business

I'm getting ready to start. Like he doesn't have a means and

a way to solve this. He can't pay it off, just like

we can't pay it off. We are this man.

We can't ever pay it off. That's why the debt had to be

forgiven entirely. Have patience with me.

This is what he's pleading. This is what he's begging.

And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released

him and forgave the dead. He says, here's my plan, you're

doomed, but at least I'll get some of my money back.

And he just begs and pleads for mercy.

And he said, he says, give me more time.

And instead he goes, you know what?

I'm not going to give you more time.

I'm going to erase the dead. Here's what you owe me.

Now what a massive wait. Welcome to the gospel,

everybody. Welcome to the cross.

Welcome to the grace of God. God doesn't come to us like

every other world religion, like every false teaching, like every

cult on planet earth. You have to earn it.

You've got to do it. Buddha had to Pierce the bubble

of the universe with his mind. In Islam, you have to follow the

five pillars. You've got to travel to Mecca,

unless you're not able, in which case it's OK.

But if you can make it happen, you have to make it happen.

I don't know what's the what's good enough.

I guess I'll find out when I die.

Every world religion, you have to earn it.

You have to deserve it. You have to accomplish it.

And once you've earned it in those religions and in those

cults, you deserve it. If you make it to heaven, if you

make it to whatever, if you achieve Nirvana, when you get

there, you get to go. I did it.

I'm kind of the man. I mean, I earned this.

I deserve all the goodness that I'm experiencing here.

There's only one religion that doesn't do that.

There's only one religion that man would not have created

because man doesn't get to be the hero in this religion.

There's one religion that glorifies God instead of you and

I, and it's the where the Lord Jesus Christ comes and he's the

only hero. And when we all get to heaven,

we can look at each other and go, how did you get here?

We go, Jesus, just Jesus, just the blood, just the man on the

cross. That's it.

But what did you do to get here? Nothing.

I mean, I believed on the name and came under the blood like I

didn't do anything. It was grace.

It was the goodness of God. How much debt did you owe?

More than you, I'm sure. Well, how much debt do you owe?

A lot more like billions gazillions.

I lost count. But what did he do?

He just eradicated it. Jesus paid it all.

Jesus paid it to the Father. I owed everything.

And Jesus said, Father, they owe you eternity in hell and

eternity in hell will never fully pay off our debt.

I owe more to God than that. That's why hell doesn't have a

deadline. That's why I won't be there for

100,000 years of suffering. And then God says, OK, this

person, you've actually paid for your crimes.

Why? Because the God I've sinned

against is so holy. He's infinitely holy.

My punishment, the only way justice could ever kind of be

satisfied would be if my punishment was infinite.

But Jesus, the ends, the innocent one comes and takes

that full sacrifice and says, Father, pull point all your

wrath at me. I'll drink the full cup and I'll

be fully abandoned and that can save them.

That is what they can now. That's why the Father, that's

why the Father will not allow anyone to be saved by any other

means other than the name of Jesus.

Man, couldn't anybody be saved by any other means other than

Jesus? If anyone could be saved by any

other means that by the name and the blood of Jesus, then Jesus

died for nothing. And Jesus's death is pointless

and worthless if you could be saved by any other.

Well, here's an exception then. He didn't have to die, but he

did have to die. Why?

Because God is so perfectly just.

He's good, He's gracious, He's kind, He's gentle, but he is

just, and he will not skirt the system.

Somebody is going to pay. Why?

Because it's right. That's what's good and

appropriate. But Jesus says, well, I'll do

it, Father, I'll do it. And whoever comes under the name

and under the blood can be saved.

This is what God has done for us.

He's forgiven our entire debt. The parable actually falls short

for you and I here because not only were we forgiven of our

debt, we weren't just brought back to 0 because what would I

do again? What would you do?

And I'd go back into debt. That's exactly what we would do.

I'd start racking up, He brought me to zero.

I got a problem, I got an addiction.

I have a sin addiction. And that's going to continue to

take me deeper and deeper and deeper.

But now my dad, he says, now your dad has made zero, but also

I'm going to give you the account of Jesus and you can't

mess it up and you can't blow it.

This is the grace of God. So we weren't just forgiven, we

were actually made new. We were given a new identity and

we were restored. So he says, hey, I'm not just

going to forgive you, but you're going to move into my house.

You're becoming mine. We got a whole new life.

Keep going. Verse 28.

But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow

servants who owed him 100 denarii.

So 100 denarii. This is about a few months

wages. So I owe this guy billions and

billions and billions. But now I come to you, fellow

servant. We're we're a teammate and we

work for this guy together. And I come to you and you owe me

a few grand and I come to you and I attack you physically.

I've got you pummeled on the ground and I'm choking you and

saying you pay me what you owe. That's the picture.

That's what's taking place here. Pay what you owe.

So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him.

Pray the same prayer that he prayed before.

Have patience with me and I will pay you.

He refused and put him in prison until we should pay the debt.

By the way, when you put somebody in prison, they're not

going to be able to pay the debt.

So it's just, it's just an act of vengeance at that point.

When his fellow servants saw what had taken place.

So now the other, the rest of the staff saw what happened.

I can't believe this boss forgave him of everything and he

went after our the other guy and made him pay it all.

They went and reported to the master all that had taken place.

Why? Because they're horrified.

We were under the king together. We were peers.

The king has forgiven me of 200,000 years worth of pay, and

now I won't forgive you of a few months of pay.

The fellow servants were appropriately horrified.

Why? Because it was an A terrible

injustice. It was.

It was a wicked injustice. You were forgiven of all of

that. Yeah.

And you won't forgive him. That's unjust.

That's broken. That's crazy.

So let's clarify some things. Now I want to talk about what

forgiveness is. We've got our parable.

We've got our teaching. We're supposed to forgive.

Pastor, what is that? What happens when I say to you,

hey, I forgive you. What did that actually do?

What does that mean? And what does that not mean?

Here's what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is a reflection of

the mercy that you have already received from God.

Maybe never from the person and the individual you're forgiving,

but it's just a reflection of the forgiveness you have

received from the Lord. It is also an act of obedience

to the Lord. So this rules out the thought

where I feel like I have the option to not forgive you

because I feel like, will you sin against me?

Yeah, that's the point, Jim, Michael.

That's why we're talking about forgiveness, because there was

obviously official sin that took place.

So nobody's saying there wasn't sin.

That's the need of forgiveness. But this is your act of

obedience to Jesus as well. What else is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is blessing the offender and wanting God's best

for them. This is how you can know if

you've forgiven somebody. Do I want God's best and God's

blessing in their life? No, I don't.

I don't. I don't want that for them.

Then you know you haven't forgiven them.

You know you have unforgiveness in your heart towards them.

Well, I don't think about them every day.

I don't hope they get run over by a train.

That's fine. But but as a Christian, you do

owe everyone love and you do owe forgiveness.

So it's an actual I would want to see them blessed doesn't mean

we have to enjoy family vacations together.

We'll get to what forgiveness is not here in a moment.

But I'm going to tell you what it is because it is something.

It can't just be a vague idea. Forgiveness is releasing your

personal claim for moral repayment, because that's really

what's happened. When you've sinned against me,

or when I've sinned against you, or when anyone is sinned against

anybody, there's a moral wrong that is taking place between us.

There's this moral barrier between us now that you've

created with your sin against me.

That thing is real. That thing is important.

That thing is so bad that Jesus had to die for it.

So what do we do with that? I have to release your moral

obligation to me. That's what's happening when I'm

forgiving you. I'm handing the case over to

God's justice. I'm not seeking any kind of

retaliation for forgiveness is a readiness for reconciliation.

If repentance ever comes, they may repent, they may not repent.

They could be dead and gone for decades now and you still have

unforgiveness towards somebody. We could have unforgiveness

towards people we've never met, but it is a readiness for

reconciliation. Just like I talked about.

If someone is, is, is excommunicated from the body of

Christ, well, what do we do if they want to come back through

repentance? Well, the repentance is the only

joy they can come back through, by the way.

But if they come back, then it's, it's, we're ready.

We have done all of our part. We have done 100% of our part so

that the moment they're ready to move forward, we're reconciled.

The moment they're ready for reconciliation, we're ready for

reconciliation. What?

What is forgiveness? Not forgiveness is not excusing

or minimizing the sin. Forgiveness is not saying it's

no big deal. That's not forgiveness.

If it was sin, it was a big deal.

We have a rule in my house when we sin against one another, we

say, hey, you know, we'll apologize to one another.

But we also add on to that whenever the person is

forgiving, we never say it's OK. We say I forgive you as Christ

forgives me. Why?

Because that keeps everybody humble.

It reminds the person who's apologizing.

You literally do need forgiveness.

In case you were just playing a mouth game there just kind of

going mouthing the words to me. Sorry you're sorry for what?

Just to be clear here. Well, I'm sorry for this and the

other all. I forgive you as Christ forgives

me. And it's helpful for the

forgiver. Why I forgive you.

We don't just leave it there. I'm reminded of the massive debt

again that I was forgiven. I forgive you as Christ forgives

me, released and free and totally forgiven.

What forgiveness is not. It's not forgetting that the

offense ever happened. So doesn't the Lord forget?

Well, the Scripture does tell us that the Lord has forgotten our

transgressions. But the Lord is omniscient.

That means he knows everything. So I don't think I'm being

unbiblical or unfaithful at all when I tell you I think the Lord

actually does remember things. I don't think he is actually

literally forgotten, but I think the spirit of The thing is that

it's not considered and it bears no weight and no burden against

you any longer. That's the point.

People say forgive and forget. You might not be able to forget.

You might actually have memories.

You know, the Lord built your brain in a certain way so that

you remember stuff. We can still remember stupid

commercial jingles from 30 years ago, can't we?

Isn't that crazy? Like, there's so much I can't

remember. And then a song plays you on.

How is that living in there? This whole time?

I didn't know it. If you told me to sing the song,

I couldn't have sung it. But as soon as the prompt

started. So our brain holds on to stuff.

We can remember things. You might remember how I've

sinned against you. You might remember how others

have sinned against you, which is interesting because it might

mean that forgiveness is something you do repeatedly.

I forgave John Michael for that, for, you know, from last year.

But then that memory comes up again.

Or you had a bad dream. You ever woke up with a terrible

dream and you have that emotional awful feeling that you

woke up with you, you're looking at your spouse.

You make me sick. Like then I didn't do anything.

I was right here with you all night, like I've been here the

whole time. But you know that that feeling

comes up. We can't submit to every feeling

that we have. We don't obey every thought that

we have. When I just go, I need to

release again. So we're not forgiveness is not

just forgetting something that happened.

Forgiveness is not removing all consequences or removing all

boundaries. There are consequences depending

on what the sin was. Somebody hurts one of my

children, I have to forgive them, but I don't have to allow

them access, and they will never have access to my children ever

again. Like there.

There's all kinds of boundaries and it depends on the context of

what happened. Oh man, I'm sorry.

I was sending it to you the other day.

I lost my temper with you, bro. I forgive you this.

Christ forgives me. Let's move on.

They're probably not going to have to put up some massive

fence and boundary in our relationship, right?

You got in the flesh, I got in the flesh.

Let's pour grace on it. Let's move on.

But there's consequences to sin. I've told you this many times.

All sin is not created equally. Jesus said so to Pilate.

Those who delivered me over to you are guilty of the greater

sin. I would prefer you slap me in

the face instead you shoot me in the head, right?

Those aren't equal. 1 is worse than the other.

So depending on the consequence of sin against you or to you or

from you, there can be consequences and boundaries.

And yet you still forgive from your heart, meaning you release

the offender from personal claim or more for you.

You release your personal claim for moral repayment.

That's all that you've done with forgiveness.

I release my personal claim from moral repayment.

That's what I've done with forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not a feeling that you must wait for.

You'll be waiting a long time if you're waiting on the warm and

fuzzies of forgiveness to hit you.

What else? Forgiveness is not forgiveness

is not trust. It's not trust.

I do forgive you. I thought you said you'd forgive

me. I do.

Well, then, you know you stole $100 from me last week.

I thought you said you forgive me.

I do. Well, then give me your bank

account information like I don't trust you.

Well, then, then I guess you're not a very good Christian.

OK, gaslighter, Go try that somewhere else.

Like I was born last night. I was born at night, but it

wasn't last night. So like, I'm just not going to

fall for those tricks. I forgive you.

I want God's best for you, but no, I won't, I won't give you

access to my finances anymore. I won't leave my wallet laying

around when I see you anymore because, you know, because of

what happened. I do forgive you though, and I

don't have any ill will and I release my, my personal claim

for moral repayment from you. But yes, I do have boundaries

now. So it's not trust and it's also

not forgiveness is not reconciliation.

What do you mean it's not reconciliation?

Well, the relationship, depending on what happened, may

have some permanent damage done to it.

Back to the boundary stuff I said earlier, like depending on

what happened, somebody hurts my wife in any way.

Like we will never be friends ever again, ever, ever.

It just can't happen. That's a, that's a personal

standard for Joe Michael. It can't happen.

I'll have to forgive you and by the grace of God, I'll do that.

But reconciliation, like we can't be friends, buddy.

It can't happen. It can't continue.

Things have forever shifted and I can stand before Jesus with a

clean conscience for all of that.

What else is forgiveness? Not after.

Well, the point is that after forgiveness, we still need to

apply wisdom depending on what happened.

Many things, most things are very low level and we just need

to get over our flesh. Like we said, a wise man can

overlook an offense. So every time I've forgiven you,

every time you've forgiven me. We don't always even have to

communicate that with one another, do we?

There have been times where you've forgiven me and I've

forgiven you and you've forgiven one another.

Like we don't have to have a big sit down.

Hey, I'd like to meet you. Be ready.

We're going to sit and work through this for a few hours.

Like I just, I just forgave him and moved on.

He didn't even know he's sinned against me.

I'm pouring grace on it. I one pastor say one time, you

better sow as implant. You better sow a lot of mercy

because you're going to need it. So let's just be eager to plant

seeds of grace, man. I just, I just a wise man

overlooks an offense. Poor grace on the thing.

Poor forgiveness on the thing. But really, make sure it is

actually grace, not just pretending to not care, but you

still deeply care. Don't get passive aggressive

with people. I overlooked that.

What did you? Because you seem weird.

You seem like you're being tense about stuff.

You seem like you're making everything awkward.

Well, I forgave them. I don't think you did.

Let's pull the whole thing out. It's going to stink.

It's going to be like a fart in the room.

But at least once it comes out, it can get cleared out.

You're holding it up and you're getting cramps in your belly.

Never used a fart analogy in a sermon.

Forgive me. Forgive me, everybody.

It stinks. It's not pleasant.

Nobody wants to go through it. But but then it's gone and it

and it can move on. That was not in the notes.

I didn't intend for that. So yes, I, I will always have to

forgive. But that doesn't mean that we go

on family vacations together. It certainly doesn't mean that

people get access at the same level depending on what's taking

place. Forgiveness is me releasing you

or you releasing me or you releasing them from the personal

debt that they owe you. They do owe you a personal debt,

no doubt about it. Just like the servant owed the

man billions. He owed that money.

He owed it, but it was him saying I know you owe it.

Everybody knows that you owe it. You know you owe it.

I know you owe it, and I release you from him.

The moral obligation is what I release you from.

It is releasing from the personal debt that's owed.

You still owe the person who sinned.

You still owe repentance to God. That's between you and the Lord.

But I'm releasing you from the personal debt that you owe me,

the personal moral debt that you owe me.

And if there is still to be full reconciliation, you do owe

repentance to me as well. So that person might not have

repented, they might not have apologized to you, but you can

still forgive them. Well, we can't have full

reconciliation, full fellowship again, unless they repent.

That's completely true too. Again, depending on what

happened, depending on what The thing is like, I have forgiven

them, but they're not repentant at all.

Well, then that's going to hinder the fellowship, no doubt

about it. And you don't have to feel weird

about that or feel bad about it, but I've forgiven them.

But they have, they're not actually moving forward.

They're not moving towards me in any way.

So I can't control that part. But I'm no longer standing here

demanding that you repay me for my own sake.

That's the difference. I used to be standing here say

you owe me, you owe me, you owe me, you owe me, fill up my hand,

but now I'm going, you don't, you don't have to pay me.

You don't owe me anymore. Forgiveness cancels my demand,

but it does not cancel God's call to repentance.

Just bringing full clarity. So that person still owes

repentance to the Lord and technically they still should

repent. They should.

But you're releasing that burden.

You're not carrying that in your head.

You're not carrying that in your heart.

Forgiving someone for their sin against you doesn't mean that

they are right with God. It doesn't mean that they're

totally restored to you in every way possible.

It means that you have done your part to restore the fellowship,

and they must do their part for that to be completed.

In the church context that Jesus was teaching us here, then yeah,

The normative is going to be quick repentance.

Hey, man, I need to talk to you. It's going to be an awkward

conversation. Oh, bro, what's up?

You really sinned against me, and I can name it plainly.

Here's what happened. And here's what it was.

Brother, I'm so sorry. Would you please forgive me?

Yes. Thank you for for being gracious

with this. I forgive you.

I forgive you too. That's what we want.

That's what mature Christian living looks like.

I got in the flesh or you got in the flesh, or I was an idiot and

just total blind spot and didn't even know what I did.

But we're gracious and we're restored.

We want that kind of fellowship. That's the that's the normative

Christian living. But none of this rules out the

the more wicked, the more awful, the more vile things that you

have suffered, things that have happened to you, things that

people have done to you that have been living with you

decades, decades, and you go, I still haven't forgiven them or

years or weeks or maybe just still this morning.

But to be able to release that is the right thing to do.

I've got a person in my life who I was very close to for many

years, and unfortunately, over the past year or two, they just

turned more and more hostile towards me.

We're not experiencing fellowship right now, but I have

forgiven them to God. I've forgiven them and I've

given them to the Lord, and I desire good for them and I've

done what I can for our full reconciliation.

I'm still grieved by it. It was somebody I was close

with, so it still hurts. I still think about them, but I

know I've forgiven them because I want God's best for them.

They've wronged me. They've sinned against me, but I

don't say that they owe me. And I there's no bitterness

stirring at all. I'm just going.

Unfortunately, our fellowship is severed, but at the same time,

my heart is safe. My heart is in the right place.

Forgiveness has to be in, but they haven't apologized for

anything. But forgiveness has to be done

even when someone hasn't sought forgiveness.

Like I said earlier, we've got to forgive people who have

already died. They're not going to apologize

to you. They did that awful evil thing

and they're not coming back to tell you, I'm sorry.

What are you going to do with that unforgiveness that you

have? You've got to forgive them.

We've got to forgive people who we've never met and people who

don't even know that we exist. We've got to forgive evil people

who will never repent. We've got to forgive politicians

who have pushed forward some immoral legislation that has

impacted our lives or the lives of our loved ones.

They don't know that you and I exist.

They don't even care about them. So we're like President so and

so or, you know, Congressperson so and so.

Like they don't care about me at all.

But I'm here. I am bitter and unforgiving.

I can be angry. I am angry against injustice and

wickedness and filth and perversion.

I'm angry about all of it. But am I unforgiving towards

them? What I want God's blessing for

their life. Who?

That's the test. That's the test.

What do I really want to see happen to them?

I hope they get what they deserve.

Do you hope you get what you deserve to them?

Because that's what the that's what the unforgiving servant

thought. Pay me what you owe.

You owe a debt. We all owe a debt, but don't

forget the great debt that you were forgiven of.

Keep going. We're in verse 32.

Then his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant,

I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.

And should you have not also had mercy on your fellow servant as

I had mercy on you? And in anger, his master

delivered him to the jailers until he could pay all his debt.

So also my Heavenly Father will do to everyone of you if you do

not forgive your brother from your heart.

So what are these jailers? Some translations have said the

tormentors and many commentators believe these jailers represent

demonic oppression, a spiritual and emotional torment that comes

when we refuse to forgive. You get turned over in your

thoughts and in your emotions and in your soul to a lack of

peace, to A, to an overwhelm of bitterness and to a hard heart.

Unfortunately, eventually that's the risk that we run and we

we've all seen that. If you've ever had unforgiveness

growing in your life and in your heart, you recognize that

you're, you're not at peace, you're not comforted, you're not

at rest. Unforgiveness is a poison.

Unforgiveness is deadly. You should be afraid of

unforgiveness in your life for yourself.

It's not the message of the gospel.

When it comes to unforgiveness, there's not a heavy emphasis on

do it for you, do it for you, do it for you.

As is often preached, you should forgive people because it'll set

your own heart free. You're putting the cart before

the horse. The gospel is we give mercy for

the sake of mercy. That's why we give mercy.

Also great benefit. I recommended 2 thumbs up.

You also will walk in freedom and in peace.

It's real and it's biblical and it's good.

But that is often been preached as the only emphasis of the

reason you should forgive others.

Drinking unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting it

to kill somebody else. That's true, but also we give

mercy for the purpose of mercy. We give grace for the purpose of

grace. When am I going to be free to?

Oh, you'll be delivered from the tormentors.

You'll be freed from all the oppression and all the angst and

all the worry and all the nights and all the I can't believe and

all the being mad about their Facebook posts and all.

What a relief. What a relief to walk in

forgiveness as someone who has been forgiven.

But pastor, you don't know what they did to me.

You're right, that's true, and that's fair.

But let me ask you some questions.

Did they sell you into slavery? Did they lie to you?

And did did they lie to your parents and say that you were

killed by wild animals? Did they sell you and and then

you ended up in a dungeon as a slave for 13 years?

Joseph knows about forgiveness. Joseph knows what it's like.

I mean, come on, Like some of those things I just said, like

it's just too quick to Passover. 13 years as a slave sold by your

brothers lied to the fathers. Oh, an animal got them because

they hated them? That's some betrayal.

That's some wickedness. If Joseph can forgive by the

strength of God, so can you. You are not alone.

You don't know what they did to me, Pastor.

Well, did they hunt you down like an animal?

Did they throw a spear at you and try to kill you while you're

serving them faithfully? Did they force you to live in

caves hiding for your life? Did they publicly slander you

and turn others against you? David knows about forgiveness.

He had two opportunities to kill the man who was lying about him.

David, anointed king, chosen by God.

Saul rejected by God. David has multiple opportunities

to kill the man who is unjustly trying to kill him.

David could have restored instantly, had all of Israel in

the palm of his hand, but instead he forgave Saul.

He was gracious to Saul. He was kind to soul.

David knows about forgiveness. He can relate to you.

And the same God who sustained David is the one who will

strengthen you and help you to do the same thing.

Man, I've been hurt by pastors before, but I've never had them

throw a spirit in my head. I've been hurt by pastors

before. Anybody been hurt by pastors

before? I've been hurt by pastors

before, but I've never had them chase me through the wilderness

and try and kill me and slander me.

For years I hadn't had that happen.

But man, sometimes in the church we get hurt by somebody and go.

It was spiritual abuse. I think David knows about

spiritual abuse too. It's a real thing and we don't

minimize it. And also, what do we do?

We forgive and we keep our eyes on the head of the church, the

Lord Jesus Christ. Because pastors will fail you.

The brother and sister besides you will fail you.

But guys, remember kind of the whole point of our whole thing

of the gospel, it's this Gray space thing where we're so eager

to forgive. We ought to be excited to

forgive somebody. That's the approach that the

believer takes. Man, I'm so excited to pass on

this gift of grace and forgiveness that God has given

to me. So yes, be free from torment.

It is a real blessing of forgiving others.

But like I said, we've often emphasized this benefit and miss

the heart of Jesus. Will you feel better when you

forgive? Yes, but that is a byproduct of

forgiving others. Forgiveness is primarily an act

of obedience to God, not a self focused strategy to feel better.

And yes, you will also feel better.

Both are true, but one is the priority.

One comes first. One is the root, the other is

the fruit. Your personal freedom is a fruit

of forgiveness, but the root of forgiveness is obedience to God

and giving what was already freely given to you.

The parable Jesus tells in the parable, he's not saying that

the man should forgive in order to experience personal freedom.

He's saying that the man should forgive the smaller debt because

he was forgiven a much greater debt.

He forgave because of mercy. That's what we have to keep

doing is keep remembering, keep looking at all that we've been

forgiven of. I don't want you to have a sin

consciousness because if you look at we've been forgiven of

the Holy Spirit's not going to leave you there.

He's going to bring you right into the enthronement and the

restoration and see this is who you are in Christ, in Christ, in

him through him through whom your 140 some verses in your New

Testament then emphasize your new identity.

Meditate on them, believe them, and remember you were forgiven a

massive debt. You've been walking with the

Lord in Christ for decades and decades and decades.

Don't forget how you got here. There was a beginning to this

journey. You've been enjoying the throne

room for a long time. Don't forget where you used to

live. Don't forget the poverty.

Don't forget the shame. Don't forget the oppression.

Don't live in it, don't meditate on it, But remember how'd you

get here? The King forgave all of my debt.

I owed billions and billions that I could never repay.

But he forgave it all because he paid it all.

God loves you, he loves you, he loves you, he loves you, he

loves you. He loves you so much.

So when you remember what he's a race for you, you will pray with

a pure heart like Stephen did as they stoned him to death.

Lord, do not hold this sin against them.

Was Stephen doing that so he could have like personal freedom

and breakthrough like I just got on with this bitterness in my

heart. He's about to die.

He knows they're about to murder him and he goes, Lord, don't,

don't count this against them. Like that's, that's, that's not

a two. Now the Lord will sort them out

between them and him. But Stephen's heart to the

Father's father, don't, don't just father, overlook this.

Don't, don't do this for my sake, Lord.

You might for Jesus, but for me, Lord, that was Stephen's heart.

That's the pure place of the believer.

Lord, this is nothing. What are they going to do, kill

me? And then what are they going to

do after that? He can't do anything to me.

I'm a free man. The Lord taught us to pray, and

we pray together each week. Forgive us our trespasses as we

forgive those who trespass against us.

Another translation of that is forgive us our debts in the same

way that I forgive those who are indebted to me.

Is that really the prayer you want to be praying?

Lord? I only want you to forgive me in

the way that I forgive others. Let that always be the standard

by which Your forgiveness comes to me.

Would you be comfortable praying that prayer with that kind of

precision? Lord, look how I forgive other

people. That's how I want you to forgive

me. That's the standard I want your

forgiveness by. Lord, increase our faith in the

same way we forgive others. That is a scary prayer.

It's the right prayer because it would be unjust for a Christian

to not be forgiving. An unforgiving Christian is a

walking contradiction. An unforgiving Christian is a

hypocrite. An unforgiving Christian is

missing the point. An unforgiving Christian has

forgotten the gospel. Forgiven people forgive.

So if you understand, and we're closing, if you understand your

own unworthiness and your extreme debt and your need for

mercy, you'll have an easy time for giving lesser debts.

Forgiveness does not feel heroic for a Christian to offer to

someone. We don't feel incredible when we

do it. Like, wow, I'm a super

Christian. No, you're just a Christian.

That's normal Christian behavior.

That's not elite level. That's not Navy SEAL

Christianity, that's kindergarten Christianity.

Wow. I'm like, I forgive people.

Like, duh, of course you do. If you didn't, I'd say, and I

guess you're not a Christian. Well, no, I was just struggling

for a moment. OK, well, I've been there and

let's move on. Let's really make sure that we

release them from the moral obligation that they owe us.

Relationship has shifted forever, in some cases forever,

and that's perfectly fine. But the moral desire and my love

for them is right where it should be because I'm reminded

of God's goodness. To me, forgiveness doesn't feel

heroic. It feels natural.

It feels obvious, like a mother giving herself to her baby.

It is sacrifice, but it's good. It's beautiful, and it's

obviously the way it still should be.

So no mother ever feels like I am incredible for getting up in

the middle of the night and nursing my baby.

She doesn't feel like I'm. I'm like, I'm the greatest small

member. She's just like, of course.

It just feels so obvious. Is there sacrifice?

Yeah, there's some sacrifice. Who paid the price?

Mom did. Who takes the hit?

When you offer forgiveness? You do.

You Do you absorb that net, You go, you're released.

Somebody had to feel that pain. You did.

You were sinned against. We're not minimizing it.

You were sinned against, but you go.

But I remember a time when I owe, you owe me 100 bucks.

But I remember the time when I owed a man a lot more, and I

remember the relief. So as Ioffer you this

forgiveness, I hope it blesses you, I hope it strengthens you,

and I hope you'll see Jesus in it because that's what that's

the only reason I'm able to forgive you is because God's

grace to me. He's been so gracious to me.

He's been so kind to me. Ioffer you what's been given to

me. I'm just a funnel.

In this moment, I'm passing on the goodness of God.

I didn't earn it. I don't deserve it.

You haven't earned it and you don't deserve it and I give it.

You're forgiven when you understand what you've received.

Forgiving others won't feel like some incredible act.

It will feel like the only reasonable thing to do.

And yes, you will enjoy peace because of it.

You will not be handed over the tormentors.

You will experience freedom. The ultimate forgiver hung on a

cross and asked his father to forgive the people crucifying

him. He wasn't bound up with

bitterness. He wasn't trying to get a

breakthrough for himself. He was extending mercy to his

murderers and he calls us to do the same thing.

That was what he's always told us.

Jesus was completely open and honest from his very first

moment in ministry. He never did a bait and switch.

He always brought the standard right along with it.

He's like, you got to be like me, We're told be perfect as God

is perfect. Wow, God increased my faith.

Help me to be more like you. Jesus extends mercy.

Jesus requires his people to extend the same mercy.

So who do you think owes you more than you owed God?

Who is it who owes you more than what you owe God?

No, they don't owe me more than I am God.

No, they don't. So when I say they owe you

nothing, we're just saying who owes you more than you owed God?

They do owe me, Pastor. I know, I know.

And this is the, that's the point.

We're not saying they didn't do it.

We're not saying it wasn't bad. We're not saying it wasn't

wicked. We're not saying they don't need

to go to prison for it. We're not saying that they

shouldn't be executed for it. That's the state's jurisdiction,

though. It's not yours.

We're not saying anything apart from I forgive the personal

moral obligation that you owe me and I release it.

And I want the will of God for your life.

I want God's best for your life. And I want heaven and I want, I

want you to come to a full repentance.

We might not be restored because of what happened.

There might be, there might be some barriers or boundaries that

are wise and appropriate, But I actually want God's best for

your life, even if our lives aren't connected together at

all. That's what the forgiver did.

He hung on the cross. He extended that grace.

He extended that mercy. Who do I think owes me more than

I once? O God, Lord, I pray you would

open the eyes of our hearts and just reveal to us right now if

there's any unforgiveness Church, we're just going to take

a moment to release to forgive. You may have questions.

You may want to to talk about it with me or other believers about

what might the, the, the next steps be after this.

Let's cross that bridge when we get there.

The first step is to release that person or those people.

It's sad. They do owe me a debt, there's

no doubt about it, But I'm going to release them from the

personal moral obligation that they've owed me, and I'll trust

the Holy Spirit for the next steps.

So whoever you've got that unforgiveness towards that harsh

word that that kid said to you in school in the second grade,

the thing that the teacher said, the thing that the parent did,

that time with your sibling, that Co worker, that boss, that

spouse. Lord, I release them.

I forgive them right now. I'm not waiting for the emotions

of it, but I want your best in their life.

So I'm going to lead you, I'm going to guide you in a prayer

church, and I just want you to repeat after me.

Heavenly Father, you see this person in my mind.

You see these people in my mind, Lord, I look to the dead that

you forgave me, and then I look to them and I release them.

From this moment forward, they're free from the personal

moral obligation that they legitimately owed me.

I released that dead and I cancel that dead.

God, I pray that you would bless them, that you would bring them

to repentance, that you would restore them and bring your good

to their life. And those of you who may have

been praying for somebody who's deceased, they're gone.

Well, wherever they are, they are.

For better or worse, their future is locked in and

unchangeable at this point. But yours isn't.

So be free. Be like your Master Jesus who

loved you and forgave you. I put him on the cross.

You put him on the cross. Church, my sin and yours did it.

It was a massive debt. I couldn't pay it.

I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to have to go

over my sins with the Lord. Would you?

Would you want him to recount him with you?

All the public things and all the secret things if the Lord

just made us go down the list with Him?

He's, He's poured grace on it. He's put it under the blood.

We do the same for those who have sinned against us.

God, we thank you for freedom. I pray that you would bless and

refresh your people, that you would deliver them from the

tormentors, that they would not have anxieties and angst.

God, I pray that even as we become a more forgiving church,

that it would even heal things in our bodies.

That there would be deliverances, that there would

be breakthroughs, that there would be things that were things

that were stifled that we didn't even know were coming from this.

But Lord, I know the spiritual and the physical or they're all

connected, so I pray that there would be healings and

deliverances because we're people who walk in love and walk

in grace. We are quick to repent, we are

quick to forgive, we are quick to believe.

Thank you for that freedom and that peace and that relief.

Keep helping us to walk it out. When thoughts come again, when

temptations come again. Lord, let that be our repetition

and our prayer. I forgive, I forgive, I forgive,

I forgive, I release be free in Jesus name.

And now the Lord bless you and keep you.

The Lord make his face Shinedown upon you and be gracious to you.

The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you great

peace in Jesus name, Amen.