Qualifications For Elders - Titus 1:5-9 - Sunday Sermon

Good morning everyone. Welcome to Boon's

Fairy. I want to direct your attention

to the welcome cards here. And I want to

read a scripture that shows just how

powerful um welcoming one another is.

This is uh Romans 15:5-7.

Romans 15:5–7

May the God of endurance and

encouragement grant you to live in such

harmony with one another in accord with

Jesus Christ that together you may with

one voice glorify God and the God and

father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Therefore, welcome one another as Christ

has welcomed you for the glory of God.

So, we obvious as a church don't go

through the motions in welcoming. We

hang out. In fact, I talked for so long,

you guys got quiet before I came up here

this time. And uh but I want to welcome

you to Boon Fairy. We're glad you're

here. If you're new or if you're wanting

information or uh feeling like, hey, I'd

like to get more connected, that's what

these welcome cards are for. You can

give us the information that you would

like us to know to be able to connect

with you. And then if you're um for the

first time filling one of these out,

hand them out to our connection table

and we have a gift card for you. Um

usually something like Dutch Bros or

something like that. So, a fun little

gift card. We also use these as prayer

requests. Uh um so you can put your

prayer request, your name on there, and

then we will definitely pray for what

you asked us to pray for in our

Wednesday morning prayer time at 7:00

a.m. here at the church and on Zoom. And

uh just remember that anyone is welcome

to come to that prayer time. So, it's a

public prayer venue. So, you might want

to make sure that the way that you're

putting your prayer request is you're

comfortable with potentially anybody

knowing. It's not like it would

necessarily go outside the church, but

it's just it's a public prayer venue.

So, that said, I'd also like to draw

your attention again to our Bible read

at 3 through. It's not too late to join

us. Um, right now we are simultaneously

in Genesis and John and still in the

early parts of that. And I've been

keeping up with my reading and really

enjoying it and seeing lots of

connections between Genesis and John um

that are just really, really powerful.

And although a Bible read through is not

the same thing as studying it closely or

memorizing it, it can really give you an

overview of the unified story that God

has uh told us and recorded for us,

which all points to Jesus Christ, his

death and his resurrection. And so for

our atonement and for our hope in in

resurrection life, um I don't have

anything else to say, so I'd like to

pray. And we have recently finished our

time in Genesis, which was about 2 and

1/2 years. And we are now going through

Titus which is only three chapters and

only seven weeks. And also significantly

different in genre because um you

consider uh writings in books like

Genesis narrative whereas this is

considered a pros uh which just means

teaching or a pastoral epistle. And so

the direct connections to church are

extremely evident in Titus in a way that

uh I think makes it more easy to see

exactly how it's relevant and today will

be particularly relevant for church

order and leadership and how it's set

up. So with that said, let me pray and

we'll get into it. Heavenly Father,

thank you for Paul and the calling and

the appointment that you put on his life

to be a founding apostle of the church.

the powerful theologically truth that

you revealed to him, the scholarship

with which he approached your Old

Testament and then your revealed will of

what the Old Testament actually means in

terms of its application towards Jesus

atoning sacrifice and resurrection and

how that applies to the church, the

church should be ordered, how we should

think, act and relate to one another and

how those things when um properly led

and soundly followed lead to something

that is the most important thing in all

the universe, which is glorifying you. I

pray that you would be glorified as a

result of our reception of Paul's

teaching, your word to Titus, and that

we would understand what is being said

and how it applies to us as individuals

in a way that can transform us, change

our lives forever. I pray these things

in Jesus' name. Amen. As most of you

know, I I grew up in Lake Asiggo. And so

after college, uh it was somewhat

natural for us to move back there. And I

was renting um a house that my parents

owned from my parents. And it was in

First Edition. I don't know if you've

ever been to First Edition, um but First

Edition used to have all these really

cute small houses with yards. And um

it's it's such a popular place that

there's been a whole lot of new

construction. Almost every time we drive

through there, my parents are now living

in that house. And when we visit them or

we drive through there, we see all this

new construction or brand new houses

being built. And so that was happening

even while I was living there. And I

remember being upstairs and looking down

into what used to be our neighbors

house, but it was just a brand new

construction site. And they were uh

laying the foundations and uh pouring

the concrete into the forms. You know,

they have plywood forms that they put

in. And I'd never seen that uh in such a

detailed way. And so on the day that

they uh were pouring that concrete, took

all the kids outside cuz they have that

big concrete truck with a big boom and

the you know slide for the um concrete

to go in. And they were watching that

and marveling. And then I was noticing

that throughout the day the workers were

sticking these things that looked like

snakes um with like a handle and

seemingly battery operated or some were

actually connected to backpacks that

were um gas operated into the concrete

and leaving it there. then moving it,

leaving it, and then moving it, leaving

it, and then pulling it out and washing

it off. And I had no idea what they're

doing. Um I thought that's interesting.

What are they doing? Are they like is

like sonar testing or something? Um and

what those those are called concrete

vibrators. And they have a very very

important purpose. Um what can happen in

concrete is that if it doesn't settle

properly properly and and mix together

without air bubbles or any kind of gaps,

there can be something called

honeycombing. You can just look I looked

it up on on a concrete website about

what honeycombing is. I actually have an

image for you guys, maybe more than one

about what happens when you don't uh

help the concrete properly settle. Um

this is an image of of honeycombing and

I think this is actually a foundation

wall there. That's what happens when

when honeycombing happens. I have one

more image just to see how damaging it

be. I think yeah. So, this is one of

these concrete pillars that is

completely degraded to the point where

you're seeing the rebar because the

concrete did not settle properly. Okay.

The only reason I bring this up is that

in this passage in we're in Titus 1 5-9

and it says that elders are to offer

instruction in sound doctrine and also

rebuke those who oppose it. And there's

a lot of words in this passage that need

defining. And you it's it's it doesn't

work to just look up the English word.

What does sound mean? We have a feeling

for what sound means, but it's important

to look up what the Greek word actually

means. And uh I believe you can trust

the ESV and other translations in their

words that they're translating. Okay,

this Greek word means this in English.

But there is such a thing as a range of

meaning of words and you have to figure

out in the context what does this mean

this word mean? Uh in English this

happens too. If you said somebody was

reading a newspaper that means they're

reading the words in the newspaper. But

if you said someone read someone else's

expression that means that they're

looking at the non-verbal things that

are happening on their face and figuring

out what that means. Right? So then the

word read has multiple ranges of

meaning. Sometimes reading language

sometimes reading emotions. So, uh, with

the word sound, um, I'm actually going

to show you when we get to that verse.

Um, uh, the the word study that that

showed what it actually means. It means

without mixture of

error. Without mixture of error. It's

sound, right? So, there's a mixture of

air in concrete. That's honeycombing.

And you don't want honeycombing. You

have to remedy that or the concrete

pylons, the foundations of that building

are not safe. We have standards in the

US that are carefully monitored and

inspected so that that kind of

honeycombing is is not found in the

foundations. The reason why I'm saying

all of this is that when elders do not

protect sound doctrine and when mixture

of error is allowed to doctrine just

means teaching by the way. Um and when

when mixture of error finds its way into

uh that doctrine, that teaching, it

destabilizes the foundation of the

church and anything that's built on that

foundation. Now you think, okay, why is

that important? It's not about the

building. It's not about this building.

That would be terrible if this building

collapsed and there was honeycombing of

foundation. I don't think there is. Uh

but the point is that in a spiritual

sense, let me take you to um first Peter

um chapter 2 because God teaches us

through the apostle Peter something

about the building project that is the

church. Um this is 1 Peter chapter 2. I

1 Peter 2 · chapter mention

think I have that verse up. And what it

says is

um as you come, this is 1 Peter chapter

2:4 if you're looking in your Bible. And

it says, "As you come to him," that's

Jesus, "a living stone rejected by men,

but in the sight of God chosen and

precious, you yourselves, like living

stones, are being built up as a

spiritual house to be a holy priesthood

to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable

to God through Jesus Christ." So each

one of you is like a spiritual stone.

Uh, think of this. I like to picture

like a stone full of light and that's a

person. And then God has a building

project and he's got a blueprint and

we're going to talk about a major part

of the blueprint of the foundations of

church uh leadership and how that works

and the qualifications of elders today.

That's really the content of what we're

talking about. And unlike a building, a

building is about strength of materials

and structures and physical things. But

the church building project project the

connections the mortar between those

blocks and the quality of the blocks is

about their relationship to God. It's

built on Jesus Christ. He's the

foundation. He's the cornerstone, the

capstone and the found founding uh

reality of the church. It's built on him

and the rock of confessing him as Christ

our savior and God. Um, but in that

building project, the honeycombing would

be breaks and cracks in relational

trust. Think of it like that. And

doctrine, all of scripture, very

important thing to remember that all

doctrine is summed up in loving God with

all your heart, with all your mind, with

all your strength, and with all your

soul. So with everything that you are to

love God, that is the first and greatest

and most comfort important command in

summary of what scripture is about. But

there's a second and there isn't really

a third. You'll notice it's just two

commands that sum up all scripture

according to Paul. And that is to love

your neighbor as yourself. So there's a

vertical love that we have and there's a

horizontal uh relationship that we have.

and the connections between those two.

Um, if they get breached, if there is

mixture of error in teaching in a church

about who God is, it will interrupt the

love bond that you have with God. And as

soon as the enemy can interrupt the love

bond, unlike most concrete foundations,

there's usually not someone there trying

to intentionally, you know, put bubbles

and honeycombing into the the concrete.

But you're going to be hearing a lot

about how we're not building um God is

not building a church in our

relationships to him and to one another

in a neutral context. There's a war

raging to try to destabilize the

foundation of God's church. And the way

that the enemy always does that is by

contradicting scripture, contradicting

something about who God is. So our love

for him is not based in truth in that

error. There's a mixture of error there.

and contradicting that we should love

one another. And so he tries to get us

not to properly understand scripture and

then also interrupt the application of

scripture. Now if you remember the

introducting introductory sermon on on

Titus, you remember that it's about um

it's for this this is written everything

in Titus is written for the sake of the

faith of God's elect and their knowledge

of the truth which accords with

godliness in hope of eternal life. In

other words, we talked all about how

it's not enough to just know what the

scriptures say. They need to become

formed in you towards godliness. Okay?

and how that relates to this idea in the

context of us as elders leading the

church and other elders other other

leaders leading the church and wanting

to preserve and teach sound doctrine

without mixture of error so that our

relationship and love bond with God is

stable and strong and wellounded on

Christ and also that our relationships

to one another remained remain uh

redeemed and healed and and the trust

cracks are not allowed to widen. You

know, one thing that does happen to

foundations um that's not quite the same

thing as enemy work is winter weather.

So, if you have this honeycombing, water

seeps down into that uh area and if it

freezes, it expands those cracks. There

can even be such a thing as concrete rot

where the concrete just degrades in that

way. But that doesn't happen with

concrete that doesn't have that

honeycombing. In the same way, there are

ways that the enemy uh tries to

effectively break our love bond with God

and break our love bond with one

another. And what happens then when that

happens? Let's say he wasn't able to

introduce that into the foundation of

the relationships of the church, but he

gets to he he finds a way to um break

off parts of the building project.

Again, we're not talking about an actual

building. You could see he's breaking

off parts of relationships to people.

He's harming relationships. And probably

the most important kind of relationship

that we're going to be talking about

today is the church's relationship,

individual people's relationship to

their leaders and to their elders.

Because if the if one of the the major

goals and really a primary goal for

having qualified elders is to protect

sound doctrine so that those

relationships and building project is

healthy and strong. then you you just

logically know and we're going to go

over scripture that says it too that the

enemy is going to want to attack that

bond. He's going to want to attack that

bond because that's where he can create

maximum damage. Okay, so think about

that idea of how important it is. You

might think, well, you know, is this a

little bit of error in this doctrine

really so significant? Well, it's as

significantly important as our love for

God and our love for one another. Any

crack in those areas, any mixture of

error, any honeycombing in our

relationship to God or one another

destabilizes our relationships. And we

all care about

relationships. Some of the most painful

things that happen to us in our lives

are broken relationships. Trust fissures

in in in relationship to our children,

uh to our spouses, to our leaders, to

one another. very painful, very

emotionally consuming and a deep

unhealth can come into a church when

there's those kinds of trust fissures

that happen. And so the enemy tries to

bring them in. So it's not just well the

teaching is important. It is as

important as the summarized meaning of

scripture. It's as important as your

love for God and your love for one

another. So, if we could put the main

point up, uh, what I hope we all learn

and what I've been learning from this

passage and have learned before is that

when qualified elders are appointed to

lead, the church stays safe and sound in

doctrine. We expand the meaning of

doctrine. I will say just a little bit

longer version of this. When qualified

elders are appointed to lead, the church

stays safe and sound in our love bond

with God and our love bond with one

another. That's what doctrine's about.

Okay? So that is so relevant and so

important. Everybody loves being in in

healthy loving fellowship and community.

Our whole world is longing for it. And

God has a structure spiritually that he

is building that makes that safe and

lasting and dependable. And the leaders

of that, they're not the foundation. The

foundation was laid by the apostles and

prophets. And his name is Jesus Christ

and he is God. He's unshakable.

But if our understanding of who he is,

what he does, what he requires of us,

what he teaches, what attitudes we

should have in him, if that foundation

is cracked, then then we're not as

stably set on that foundation as we

should be. And if we are are are doing a

building project of starting a new

ministry and we have a leadership team

for that ministry and they don't trust

one another then maybe the foundation

isn't destabilized but whatever wing of

the church and the spiritual blocks that

are being built up in a blueprint

according to scripture those are

unstable. I don't know if you have ever

experienced having uh maybe not a church

collapse but a ministry within the

church collapse.

very few times does that not lead to

broken relationships, fissures and trust

with the leaders. It's just it it can be

so difficult. So you want to build in a

very sound way and in this case the

metaphor of building a sound way means

teaching and protecting sound doctrine.

One more time, when qualified elders are

appointed to lead, the church stays safe

and sound in doctrine. We're going to

see how Paul makes that point in this

passage. Now, before we get into verse

5, I just want to remind you of one

thing. When when we're talking about New

Testament epistles, the context, as far

as it can be understood of why Paul was

writing what he was writing, to whom he

was writing, what is the occasion for

the writing can oftenimes be extremely

important. We don't always know exactly

what the context was. Sometimes we don't

even know who the author was. The author

of Hebrews is not named. People

sometimes think it's Paul because the

obvious understanding of Leviticus and

sacrifice and Paul seems to have a lot

of that understanding, but we don't know

who it was. So, we can't always just

rely on that. God's word is indeed

understandable without always knowing

the context. But when we know the

context of what's going on, especially

when we can prove that bib that that

context biblically, which I did last

week, then the passages become far more

understandable about why Paul is saying

what he's saying. And then we can uh

cross the bridge from what's called

exogesis, rightly dividing the word of

God to its modern application. Okay? So

I'll give you an example of how that

works. In the Old Testament, it says if

an ox gores another ox, you need to

investigate if that ox has a habit of

being wild and dangerous. And if he

does, there might be a reckless

negligence claim on the part of the

owner of that ox. And in that case, you

might actually need to either put down

that ox because he's dangerous, or there

needs to be some kind of um uh payment

from the owner of the ox to the ox that

was killed because his property was

lost. Not only that, the loving thing to

do is not just replace the ox, but also

the lost wages from the ox. Okay, what

is that about? Loving your neighbor as

yourself. That's what all the law is

about. But that was a very agrarian

society. And so that was that would that

kind of thing happened often because

people owned livestock. If you're a

farmer, that applies directly. But if

you're not, how would it apply? Well, in

a sermon on the law, I might say, look,

um, if you are in a suburban and you

scrape somebody else's car, a hit and

run would be the opposite of loving your

neighbor. So, what you may need to do,

because if an ox wars an ox, you need to

take care of your brother and make him

whole, is wait to find the owner,

exchange insuranceances, and make sure

that their car ends up being fixed

hopefully through insurance if possible.

But even if not, there's a burden there.

You made the mistake, you know, so

that's how you maybe cross the bridge.

In this case, an oxor is an ox uh takes

real careful thinking about how it

applies to the church. But when we're

talking about the qualifications for

leader in the church, it's not as hard

to cross that bridge. So now let's go to

the context of what we're talking about.

And just remind you one time. Paul's

writing to Titus. Titus is in Cree. Cree

is a very degenerate place. Not all

places, not all cultures are as

degenerate as some. It takes time to

degenerate in immorality. I told you

about historians like Palibius and

others uh would write about just how

much justification there was prideful

justification for serious wrongdoing.

Highway robbery was considered

honorable. You remember that quote? Um

and so Paul is telling um Titus about

the importance of doctrine leading to

godliness in transformation of that

culture of individuals within the

church. However, there's one more

problem. The last thing we'll talk about

context and that problem is that there

are Jewish Christians some of them who

are not actually Christians according to

Paul the circumcision party he says the

Judaizers Jewish legalists whose um

whose response to immorality whose

solution to immorality is following the

law you're not following the law you

need to follow the law and what Paul is

saying is that people aren't transformed

by following the law the purpose of the

law is to show just how you are not

aligned with it. You know, and then

Jesus showed us that we take too

shallowly the law, shallowly the law. If

you lie and said, "Hey, I didn't wreck

your car." That's obviously a lie and

that's a sin. And so then, um, that

would be immoral. And these kinds of

property destructions were probably

happening in Cree. They were an immoral

society. So, what do you do? Well, do

better. No. Confess your sin. Be

forgiven. Ask for forgiveness from that

neighbor. and make sure you make things

right. Right. Rebuild the trust, rebuild

the love bond. But if you're trying to

follow the law and be made perfect by

the law, it just leads to works

righteousness. The opposite of the

gospel. It's a cursed thing when we slip

into legalism in that way. So the

solution to immorality and ungodliness

is never the law. That does not mean

that the law is not holy, righteous, and

true, but the function of the law is to

point us for a need to grace. And so one

of the major mixtures of error that is

foundationally destabilizing to the

entire gospel is when people try to

solve immorality with legalism. Okay?

And that is also an attack from the

enemy. The enemy will plant weeds and

plant destructive heresies and false

teachers in the church that insist on

prideful legalism as the way to become

more godly. And Paul wants Timothy in

this or Titus in this case to we're

going to go to Timothy 2 because some of

the very same instructions are given to

Timothy. He wants Titus to appoint

elders in every town who are qualified

who can stand against that kind of thing

and protect sound doctrine. Okay, that's

the context that we're going in now.

Verse 5. This is why I left you in so

that you might put what remained in

order and appoint elders in every town

as I directed you. So this is this is a

purpose statement of what comes next. So

why is he appointing elders that what is

not yet in order is put in order. Um you

need to have a building project manager.

You need to have an architect. There

needs to be an engineer involved. I from

understanding my my friends work that

are architects and engineers. There's

some there's some bleed over. They can

do some of each other's jobs. But in

general, an architect is is the person

that drafts the blueprints and designs

the building. Where an engineer is

looking at things like strength of

materials and how that needs to be

built. And if the blueprint is like that

won't work, that's not structurally

sound. The engineer gets involved and

make sure okay, we need to put more

supports there. That kind of thing. And

like I said, there's there's bleed. Um

but there's all kinds of things in a

church that need to be put in order. um

not just elders even that need to be

appointed but but deacons um we we might

go to the passage in Acts six where

there was a problem with uh the Jewish

widows being favored over the Greek or

the henistic widows and Peter and the

apostles had to deal with that because

there's some favoritism that was

something that was out of order so

things sometimes get out of order and if

you don't have leaders that are clearly

appointed and recognized as in charge of

those things they stay out of order and

often times become even more disord

orderly. So everything that's being

talked about next is then even in a lot

of the rest of Titus is about how the

church should be arranged in in terms of

its what what the Bible teaches

doctrinally for the sake of that kind of

godliness remaining the founding reality

and everything that is being built up is

also being done in godliness. I want you

to notice as well that it's not just

that he says appoint an elder in every

town. It's not singular. It's appoint

elders plural in every town as I

directed you. Um I don't know if you've

ever heard the term plurality of elders.

But I think it's a biblically necessary

concept that every church would have a

plurality of elders. That's a very deep

conviction for us at Boon Ferry. That

means that there's not just a single

pastor in charge or a single elder in

charge. Uh most churches will have um a

pastor who is considered a paid pastor.

The scriptures talk about that idea of

of of leading and preaching um is such a

significant responsibility time-wise

that it often needs to be a vocation. I

don't think it necessarily always needs

to be a vocation, but for me, one of the

reasons why I'm able to be set apart and

spend so much time studying these things

and doing word studies and all this is

that this is my job. I don't also do

another job on top of these things. So,

your giving, your faithfulness in that

allows pastors like me to be set apart

to focus on making sure that our

doctrine stays sound and that we're

applying it and that we're leading

accordingly, that I'm applying it.

That's a really important thing. But I

cannot and I will not do that by myself.

I think it's actually very dangerous for

men to lead by themselves. There's so

open to temptation. Um I there's need

for correction in my life. How else

would I stay above reproach if there's

not times where I'm saying where the

elders are saying, "Hey, we see a need

for growth in that area. Don't dip below

the line." We're going to talk about the

line. What does it mean to be above

reproach in this case? And so also

another thing is when the enemy attacks

it can be extremely lonely if you're by

by yourself. There is deep bonding

fellowship and protection of having

multiple qualified men in this case.

I'll talk about why it's men according

to this passage that should be in those

positions that it's such so the elders

at our church are are me Mati Scaring

Vern Crowley and Ben Jansen and these

men are so reliable and they're such an

encouragement to me and we lead

together. Okay, we um we we don't really

vote within that polity. uh polity is

like how you see uh the elders should

lead like a church polity about that. Um

and I want to talk about that one other

thing in terms of the plurality of

elders. We make decisions together and

we're not when we're not in unity. Um so

far we have never moved on a decision

when we're not in agreement. We believe

that the Holy Spirit can bring us to an

agreement. Um and and so we lead uh with

a desire to be in real spiritual

consensus to one another and not have

because you know it's a famous saying I

don't know who has said it but split the

elders split a church. So if you move

forward and you just kind of run over

one elers's sense that maybe that

shouldn't be done that can honeycomb the

relationships can't it? All of a sudden

that el's like well you didn't even

consider what I was saying you just kind

of ran right over it. And so even

sometimes when there's a polality of

elders, if the the main leader within

that, it's not always the pastor. In

most churches, um the the lead pastor is

sometimes considered the lead elder. Um

it's not directly the same as like the

chairman of a board, but it's good, I

think, within um leaderships to have uh

to have what was considered a first

among equals. Now that first among

equals doesn't really have um a

significant authority, a popup level

than the other elders. He's also subject

to the elders. I am subject to the

elders at Boon's Ferry. Uh if I were to

get fired, it would be Ben and Vern that

would be making that decision. Right.

And and there there are cases we'll talk

about where they will need to for the

sake of the purity of the doctrine if I

were to fall below reproach. So main

points here he is to appoint a plurality

of elders in every town. What's

presupposed there is that there's a

church in that town that he is uh

establishing a plurality of elders. Now

he needs to know what kind of people

should become those elders. So what kind

of people does God have in mind to

protect the church from honeycombing to

protect the church from trust fissures

in relationship to him and trust

fissures in relationship to one another?

the kinds of men that can stand by faith

in the power of the spirit against the

schemes of the enemy to try to introduce

those in the night sometimes through

other people who are not the enemy but

the enemy could potentially

use. What kind of people are the kinds

of people that keep safe and sound

doctrine in the church? Safe and sound

love bonds between God and one another.

That's what Paul is going to teach next.

Verse six. if anyone is above reproach.

Okay. Um, in other words, would be

unimpeachable in respect to the the

qualifications that are about to follow.

So, let's consider above reproach a line

and we're going to have to define what

that line means. Not just considering

only individual qualifications, but the

qualifications as a whole and some

qualifications that are additional to

this passage in other passages. Okay. Um

and so what does it mean to be above

reproach? It's impossible to define

apart from relationship the next

qualifications. So we have to go to the

very next qualification. Above reproach

in what areas? There none of this is

about being sinless. In fact, an elder

that claims to be sinless is definitely

way below reproach because you make God

a liar. He says everyone is sinful. You

just read it in 1 John chapter 1, the

1 John 1 · chapter mention

first couple verses. Well, if you say

you have no sin, you make God out to be

a liar. So, it's not true that elders

never have to confess sin. It's not true

that elders can ever claim to be

perfect. The standard um is a good

standard, but it's not sinless

perfection. That's really important. Uh

in fact, I think uh it would be very

legalistic and harmful. It would be

again the Jewish solution to

immorality. Say, well, we got to have

perfect elders. No, you need elders that

are above reproach in very specific

definable areas. The first one, the

husband of one

wife. You might think, well, that's

really straightforward. He needs to be

the husband of one wife. And I don't

mean to introduce any kind of conclusion

of confusion, but applying that takes

some real wisdom. It might be important.

I know it's important to say these are

spiritual

qualifications. That might be so

obvious, but that means their

application must also be spiritual. what

spiritual means. I'd already kind of

mentioned it,

but when when we blatantly lie, that's

obviously just by the letter of the law

absolutely wrong. But you've probably

heard and maybe even done this

sometimes, you shade the truth in your

favor. Or maybe you leave out a little

bit of truth that would make you look a

certain way that you don't want to look,

which is which is a sort of deceptive

thing underneath. It's not the same

thing as a bold-faced absolute lie. You

see this all the time with the

politicians, we call it spin. And spin

is essentially deception. And so what

Jesus teaches us about in relationship

to a husband and wife, this applies that

adultery, for example, is much deeper

than just the idea of actually

physically cheating on your spouse.

lust. Looking at another woman with

sexual desire, giving into that

temptation and having those thoughts is

the origin of adultery, right? I mean,

it's it's heavy stuff. I just want to

recognize that you were already quiet,

but when when heavy things are stated, I

feel a sense of weight and even

quietness. And I want to acknowledge

that this this is weighty material. Um

but the point is when we apply uh

qualifications that are spiritual in

that way we apply them at depth not at a

shallow way. Right now it is no shallow

thing for a man to commit physical

adultery. So I want to to ask you in

this case is a man really a husband of

one wife which means faithful to his

wife a onewoman man in like the most

literalistic uh Greek word order. Is

that man qualified if he commits

adultery? I you all know the answer is

no. And that is so below reproach that

that kind of thing happening requires

removal. Ideally self removal. Just I'm

going to step down because this has

happened. I am so sorry. Hopefully

repentance as well. But just because

there's repentance doesn't mean that

that person should be just restored to

eldership. Right? It's it's a trust bond

that's so broken that it's It's below

the qualifications. It's a very painful

thing. I know that people in our church

have experienced divorce and I want to

speak with compassion about that.

Uh I I truly believe the only reason

that there's no divorce in my past and

there's no divorcing intent in my heart

or my wife's heart in our marriage is

the grace of

God, not somehow my moral strength of

conviction.

Many men, every bit as committed to the

gospel as me, have fallen to the en

enemy's temptation to

seek that bond with another woman

outside of their marriage. Great

men, David, greatest king of Israel, not

that he was a church elder, he was a

king. It's a different thing. But man,

he wrote so many of the psalms, a very

spiritual man. And he had this massive

failure.

So I guess one thing I would just say is

that

uh this is about elders. But one of the

calls to anyone in this church that

cares about the foundations and the love

bonds that we have, please pray for us.

Pray for our strength against

temptation. And not just, oh, I'm going

to go commit adultery against woman, but

pray for the enemy introducing

temptations of lusts.

It's the the enemy knows men's

weaknesses and he's been studying them

for millennia. And so he knows, oh, if I

introduce Bath Sheba at this time, even

this man that God says has a heart after

himself, maybe I'll get him to fall. He

doesn't know the future. Noah said that

the that uh uh the enemy knows the

future. Uh and all of his false prophets

falsely prophesy the future. Knowing the

future is a mark of God and his prophecy

through prophets in the Old Testament.

But you can see so if if he needs to be

a one if he needs to be a faithfully

monogous man then of course the enemy is

going to try to break that

qualification. So pray for us. Pray for

us. I I want to say in these in these

and affirm that the elders are qualified

in in this case. Um Vern and Ben. And I

want to say something another thing

that's deeper. Um,

marriage in its deepest, most spiritual

definition is actually about Jesus and

the church. You can read that in

Ephesians 5. We're not going to go

there, but the idea is that as Jesus

relates to the church, a husband should

relate to his wife. And as the church

should relate to Jesus, a wife should

relate to her church and to to um uh her

husband. And he says it's a mis a

profound mystery. But that is what

marriage is about. Displaying the gospel

relationship of Jesus Christ to his

church and from the church to Jesus

Christ. There's things that doesn't mean

uh wife should not worship her husband.

Uh we only worship Jesus. But if you

think about applying that as a husband,

well Jesus sacrificed himself for the

church. Sacrificial love. A husband

should be sacrificially loving. And the

Bible says that that a wife should

submit to her husband and respect him

and allow him to lead. So, we're not

going to get all into the foundations of

marriage, but what we're looking at in

qualifying elders in our own lives is a

healthy marriage because it represents

the gospel. So, if an elder has a deeply

unhealthy marriage, then that's going to

cause honeycombing in the church.

You might say that it's not so much my

relationship to you guys or Verns or

Ben's relationship to you guys, but the

way that I treat my wife that I should

evaluate myself by in quiet moments when

no one but she's

watching. And even though this is about

elders, every one of these

qualifications applies in some ways to

every person. Now it says a husband of

one wife. Um, gender is implied. It's a

man that we're talking about. This is

why churches like Boon Fairerryy,

conservative evangelical biblical

churches insist on male eldership. I

want to say it's not because men are

always better than women, not always

smarter, not always more spiritual. It's

a according to Paul in Timothy creation

order issue. This is the way God

designed it. God created men first. They

are to lead. and God created women uh

and to follow. It does not mean in this

case that there isn't a deep

partnership. I like to think of of of

couples as kings and queens. And if a

king is thinking, I think I need to rule

in this way. The queen just like the

first lady has her own work that she's

doing and her own constituents and

servants. And if he doesn't even

communicate why he's thinking what he's

thinking and lead towards agreement in a

way like Jesus does, does Jesus ever

force us to do his will? He has all the

power. Does he force you to do his will?

No, he doesn't. So I think one

definition of the kind of leadership

that we're looking for in a healthy

marriage for someone that might be an

elder qualification is not a doineering,

commanding, demanding, but you might say

um let's say the church is is um leading

people to do a certain thing and the

husband agrees that's really good, but

the wife doesn't want to do it. So the

husband should say, "Well, you must or

you're not submitted to me." No. What

the husband should say is let's pray

about this. Let's see from God because

again the husband is being led by God

there's no authority to really lead.

Right? So the husband is seeking first

to be led by God. But you include your

wife in that and and hopefully come to

agreement. Now if she continues not to

not to agree in that case you might say

well I think I want you to follow anyway

which is not applying force. You're

asking her to agree by submission. And

by the way, submission is very painful

and we can just admit it. When you feel

that you are right and someone else is

wrong and something bad will happen if

you follow what they're saying, it's

very painful to submit. One of the

necessary ingredients to all submission

is

disagreement. Bomber, right? And men

have to submit to authorities all the

time. I can't tell you how many men in

our our church um talk to me and ask for

prayer about real difficulty with their

bosses who maybe are sometimes

doineering and don't even have their

best interest in mind and still you have

to submit. You don't subordinate

yourself say with yourself within a work

structure you usually eventually get

fired the livelihood all of a sudden

lost. So it's not just women and it also

says in Ephesians um I think 4:21-22

that we submit to one another in

reverence for Christ. I have submitted

to my wife before telling me you have a

bad attitude about this. That doesn't

seem like you're forgiving the person

and I'm like convicted and I realize

you're right. So she was the first one

to be right about God's word which we

are both submitted to. So I need to

submit to what she's saying. So there is

a mutuality in there. So that's the kind

of thing we're looking for. Let me give

you some practical um ideas and case

studies to think about. Adultery is such

an obvious one, this below reproach.

But what about if a man isn't even a

husband? He's just not married. Could

that man not be an elder? And these are

not easy questions. There are Christians

that say, "No, it seems very clear that

a man has to be married or he can't be

an elder." Although, at the same time,

Paul wasn't married. So, that would mean

Paul was disqualified from being an

elder and he was an apostle. Different

than an elder. So, not necessarily an

absolutely winning argument. Um but Paul

also talks about in various passages in

in Corinthians about how actually a man

who is not married um does not have to

prioritize a wife that he doesn't even

have and he can actually be even more

focused on the Lord's work. So I would

not say that I think it's it's it would

be letter of the law to say well husband

actually has to be married. You're

looking for the kind of character of a

man that is faithful in that way,

committed to

monogamy, not uh immoral in that area.

Now, I've got to be honest, I think it's

somewhat difficult to discern whether

that person would be uh faithful to a

wife if they were called to marriage and

not me. All men and not all women are.

There is such a thing as the gift of

celibacy and it is but definitely a gift

because of what you're able to do. Um,

it takes a lot of energy to take care of

any wife. No matter how good she is, you

need to pay attention and listen and

understand and and have conversations

about deep things and work through

conflicts and and that itself is a

ministry. It displays the

gospel. But think of a missionary,

right? Going into a very dangerous

place. If he doesn't have to concern

himself with protecting his family and

it's only his own safety he's concerned

about, he more wisely might be able to

go into places where there are serious

threats to his life, you know. So, no, I

don't think that it if if there was a

church that had an elder that wasn't

married, I would not necessarily say,

"Oh, that person is definitely

unqualified." I'm just admitting that I

think, you know, marriage tests you,

right? honeymoon ends. You find out

God's right. You're both

sinners and you don't like some of the

sin that your husband has and you don't

like some of the sin that your wife has

and it's not cute

anymore. And then are you still going to

love each other? Are you going to still

make an effort to continue not allowing

that to crack your love

bond? Love bond cracks in marriage is so

terrible. So terrible. It takes effort.

And you know, let's actually go to some

of the passages about uh spiritual

warfare because one of the powers I

perceive the enemy has is to dampen the

emotions that you have that are aligned

with God's will. And what I would call

riot, froth up, exacerbate the emotions

that are aligned with the flesh. The

flesh doesn't want to forgive your wife

or your

husband. Godly desire does.

If your wife or husband has made the

same mistake over and over and over

again, can be as simple as it was his

job to take out the trash and he always

forgets year after year after year after

year. And I know there are couples that

are bitter about things like that. And

although you think, well, that's such a

small thing. The bitterness that could

develop is not a small thing. It's a

trust crack, right? It's what the enemy

wants. He wants to destabilize our

marriages, starting with destabilizing

the marriages of the elders. So let's

start with Ephesians 5 uh Ephesians 6, a

very founding passage for uh

understanding mostly the defensive

stances we need to take in spiritual

warfare. And um we're not going to be

going to all kinds of different

scriptures on every qualification, but

this husband of one wife thing is so

important. So here finally, be strong in

the Lord and the strength of his might.

Overarchingly important verse. Our

strength is in the strength of God's

might.

I'm a big guy. I'm strong and I have

been tested physically and I've had to

go up against some of the strongest men

in the world. I remember we went against

Weieber State and there were

two red-headed 66

345B

twins, offensive guarded, offensive

tackle, left side, and I'm a right side

detackle. One guy dove at my knees while

the other guy was trying to choke slam

me.

red-headed stepchildren, I called them,

you know, just violent, angry, powerful

men. So, I I've had to deal with the

kind of fear that you deal with with

physical intimidation,

right? And I I feel that in a lot of

ways I've conquered that just because

you have to or you're not going to be

able to play. I didn't like being choke

slammed. I'm not going to lie. And I got

some of the defensive players on my side

and we um we didn't respond in a

Christian way, but at that time I was in

rebellion. So, not not uh not trying to

uh say that was okay. But my point is

this. The enemy is not a physical

enemy. All my physical strength and I

can do nothing with that to resist him.

You meet the enemy in a dark alley. It

doesn't matter how strong you are by

yourself. You will be

terrified. Every time an angel shows up

and is revealed, even godly men are

terrified. Sometimes they just pass out,

fall at down as though

dead. That's an angel. They're

perfect. Demons are real. Satan is real.

But they are spirit. And the only power

we have to defend against them is God's

spirit living in us. And the more

obedient you are to him, the more

aligned you are with him. So you take

him with you into that dark alley. And

then you do not have to be afraid

because he's infinitely powerful and the

enemy is not. So we have an armor, a

spiritual armor. Put on the whole armor

of God that you may be able to stand

against the schemes of the devil. I

think we have another verse. For we do

not wrestle against flesh and blood, but

against the rulers, against the

authorities, against the cosmic powers

over this present darkness, against the

spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly

places. There's a war raging for our

marriages. There is a war against the

marriages of the elders. He wants to

disqualify us. He wants to destabilize

the love bond with our wives so that he

can destabilize the love bond between

our church and God and one another.

That's what's happening. Now I'm not

going to read all this is a famous

passage. I just wanted to make that with

the exception of the sword of the spirit

all the armor is defensive. We have to

defend. But there is one piece of armor

that is offensive and it's the sword of

the spirit which is the word of God. And

there's another passage in 2 Corinthians

2 Corinthians 10 · chapter mention

chapter 10 that teaches us something

about wielding that power, that sword,

the word of God living and active in us

uh by the spirit has divine power.

Again, for though we walk in the flesh,

we are not waging a war according to the

flesh. For the weapons of our warfare

are not of the flesh, but they have

divine power to destroy strongholds.

You could have grenades, grenade

launchers, and AR-15s, and the enemy

will never get a bullet hole. It's not a

fleshly weapon. It's not a physical

weapon. But we do have a weapon. We

destroy arguments and every lofty

opinion raised against the knowledge of

God. What's what are those opinions and

arguments? Error in

doctrine. That's the weapon the enemy is

using. Destabilizing, honeycombing

understanding of God's

word. That's the weapon. And and what's

the power? And we take every thought

captive to obey Christ. Next verse

six. Did Did we miss Did I Did I say go

back to the verse about the weapons of

our warfare of divine power to demolish

strongholds? We destroy arguments and

every lofty opinion raised against the

knowledge of God and take every thought

captive to obey Christ, being ready to

punish every disobedience when your

obedience is complete. What verse did I

miss? Go. Do we have verse four?

Okay. We destroy arguments and every

lofty opinion rates against the

knowledge of Christ and take every

thought captive. Actually, it's Yeah,

it's verse four. Sorry, I'm reading

five. For the weapons of warfare are not

of the flesh, but have divine power to

destroy strongholds. I read it and just

didn't realize we'd already gotten

there. That divine power to destroy

strongholds is the sword of the spirit.

Is there a stronghold in your marriage?

What would that mean? Well, for example,

there's a cyclical conflict that just

keeps coming up and then it seems like

it goes away, but it just hasn't

surfaced recently and then it surfaces

again and it keeps dividing you and

causing friction and frustration. The

longer that goes on, it can end up

becoming a place where the enemy has a

degree of a grip. Not that he's

possessing you. That can't happen when

you're indwelt with the spirit according

to Paul. We don't have to fear that. But

because we're adopted, we're children

forever, sealed, guaranteed by the Holy

Spirit. But if the enemy has divided you

and you think, "Well, it's right. I

don't know how we're going to fix this."

The simple duh answer is that the word

of God can break that stronghold apart

again. What's the solution to every

single problem you could ever face in

your marriage? The word of God rightly

applied. Okay? And sometimes that takes

a mediator who can help you in that way.

And I'm willing to do that. The elders

are willing to do that. And it's already

happening in marriages in the church.

But again, the strength from which

elders lead are doing that in their own

marriages first. So I know sometimes it

can be difficult when there's conflict.

But how important would it then be to

actually read scripture with your

husband or wife if it's the divine power

that keeps us safe from trust fissures

and conflicts not being resolved?

extremely

important also over our thought life

where it says we take thought uh every

thought captive to obey Christ. Have you

ever been angry with somebody? Maybe not

your spouse, but maybe your spouse or

maybe your children or someone, and

you're so angry, you're seeing red, and

you feel that your anger is so justified

and so right, and what you're saying is

so true. And

then you confess that that anger became

a little bit sinful. And you know, then

you realize I shouldn't say a little

bit. It was actually just sinful. So you

really confess it and you realize, wow,

I don't even feel the way I feel

anymore. And I think I was really wrong

to even say that. That's not true of my

wife or my husband. What happens there?

Well, the enemy used your anger, aligned

it with your flesh rather than with the

spirit and genuinely convict convicted

you of something. Well, the enemy

doesn't convict in that way, but that

convinced you of something that isn't

even true. And that when you have your

temper cooled, you don't even believe

anymore. Okay, we're going to come back

to anger when it comes to the

qualification of self-control. But you

need that also. I believe that another

way of um swinging the sword and being

trained up to actually parry the enemy

and stab back is to connect the word of

God with prayer to pray through the word

of God again. And so prayer with your

wife, beating the word even when there

aren't conflicts to continue keeping

like buildings take maintenance,

relationship buildings take maintenance.

So we need to be reading regularly. If

that's not happening and you're feeling

convicted, you can go home today and

say, "Hey, why don't we just read a

chapter of Titus together?" And then

maybe discuss the things that we feel

the spirit's impressing upon us. And you

know, if it says this, then maybe we

need to do something different, think

something different, act different, live

differently. Maybe we need to arrange

some things differently in our marriage.

Maybe we need to work through this

conflict. Maybe we need someone to help

us to work through this conflict.

Strongholds can be broken by the power

of God's word. And you can have great

hope in that. All right, back to the

elder qualifications again. Back to

Titus. Husband of one wife. One more

thing I want to say about that. Um, what

about if there is a divorce in the

husband's past? And you know, elders

have to decide, well, what if he's now

faithfully

married? So, I just want to simply tell

you how the elders think about that at

Boon's Fairy because there's a lot of

different interpretations of that.

There's all kinds of different contexts

of marriage. There is one and I really

think just one although some people

could say two and I understand why uh

scenario that is a completely no fault

divorce. That is when a Christian person

is married to someone who's not a

Christian and that non-Christian person

decides they're going to divorce and

they force it. That passage should not

justify that the Christian person would

would drive the divorcing procedures. Uh

but it says that they are allowed to

give them a certificate of divorce.

That's what's biblically considered a no

fault divorce. It's not necessarily the

fault of the Christian if they're being

divorced by someone that's not a

Christian. The other one you all know

about is just that there's marital

unfaithfulness, adultery. However, that

one is given as a provision in the law

according to Jesus because of the

hardness of men's hearts.

What I'm about to say is all great and

wonderful to have a conviction in

advance, but it's the kind of things

that get tested terribly. So, I am not

saying because I'm very much like Peter,

well, I would never deny you Christ. The

only reason I would never deny Christ is

because Christ will keep me safe in his

grace. It's not in my power. But I've

told my wife

that if you were ever to cheat on me, I

would forgive you and I would not

divorce you because I do not want to

have a hardened heart towards God.

Period. Easy to say beforehand. Will

take incredible grace. Those kinds of

things are so painful. And she has made

the same commitment back. And one of the

reasons I believe that's the depth of

the qualification of husband of one wife

is how many times have we cheated on the

bridegroom as the church and how many

times does he take us back? all over the

Old Testament and in the New

Testament, God sees the adulteries of

his people and sometimes he's talking

about spiritual unfaithfulness towards

him in worship having idols and he takes

us back every single time we repent and

ask for forgiveness. So the heart of a

husband of one wife ought to match the

heart of our savior who forgives us over

and over and over again.

So that's what I think the depth is. I

personally and the elders

um we we would not put an elder in

eldership if there had been a divorce

that was something that they should not

have done. I believe that in that case

there's repentance and forgiveness and

there are still amazing ways to be able

to serve the church, but it's simply not

a risk we're willing to take. I will say

that if there is a church out there and

I know that there's some where a husband

did have that past divorce and they

discern that that husband is deeply

repentant of what happened and there is

no possibility of reconciliation and

even in the meantime they have been

remarried. I had to counsel a couple

through this and they were talking to us

and they it was easy because they were

so humble and they said, 'You know, we

realize we shouldn't have gotten married

and we repented of having done that, but

I don't think we should get divorced now

that we're already married again. Two

wrongs don't make a right. And I said, I

agree with that. Right. Um, so

again, is it possible that someone had

that uh kind of thing happen in the past

and God has redeemed it so much that

they could actually be trustful

trustworthy? Maybe it is. I think it's

wise not to take that risk. But it's not

in condemnation of that person. It's

just it's a very high calling. A very

high calling. And I just so thankful to

the Lord that um he's protected me,

Vern, and Ben from that. Now another

verse on here qualification and his

children are believers and not open to

the charge of debauchery or

insubordination. Another translation

wild and rebellious. First thing we need

to do is actually define the word

children because it has limits. And this

one I think I'm just going to

straightforwardly uh tell you what the

scripture is actually saying. It does

not mean adult children outside of the

household. The word technia, technon, it

means child of a certain age, not adult.

It is a legalistic burden for elders to

be required to be responsible for the

behavior of children that are not even

in their homes. In fact, I don't think

that fathers should take a put have

authority over their adult children that

are now in in their own marriages,

right? that they they still need to

honor their father and mother, but

there's a leaving and cleaving and an

establish of a new marriage and a

different authority structure. On top of

it, this says are um believers. And I

actually there are some translations

that saying are faithful. I think it

actually means like the ESV translator

said are believers. But what if an elder

had a son that um was 25, no longer in

the household, and decided to renounce

his faith, not believe anymore, and is

definitely not a believer? Well, can

elders determine the salvation of their

children? Like the eternal destiny? No.

There's no promise to any elder or to

any human being that every one of his

children will be saved. It's not there.

and and it would be an unbelievably

crushing burden and I hope you don't

have this burden in your life if you

have children that are older and don't

believe it is so sorrowful and we pray

for them and there is hope but to say

well it's my fault that they don't

believe would be able to take a

responsibility that is God's alone he's

sovereign over salvation so I I would

not say um that uh that if one of the

kids of our elders when when they're

older um decides I don't believe this

thing and I'm an atheist that that

automatically makes that person a um an

unbeliever. However, or not qualified,

however, there's a qualification to the

idea of them being believers. It's that

they're not open to the charge of

debauchery or insation or

insubordination, wild and rebellious. So

I would define the children that need to

be not so much the children but the

relationship the father has the children

to be evaluated in terms of

qualifications for eldership to be

within the household. So if your

18-year-old is still living with you and

they're acting in ways maybe they're in

in in school and high school and maybe

they vandalized a did some graffiti or

something like that and that father

gives no consequence to that that would

not be good leadership.

In the same way, I mean uh kids can be

very foolish and do foolish things. And

so even if a son did something like

that, the father uh bring like like I I

would do things in this case my dad

wasn't an elder but I would do things

and one of the the threats that I knew

my dad would make good on is that I keep

acting that way I won't be able to play

in Friday's football game and he'll tell

my coaches. And so I obeyed in that case

even with a strong will that was to no I

can't do I need to play. I want I don't

want to let my team down. I want

everyone to know. So, but but the thing

is I knew my dad would follow through on

it. I knew he would was not just uh

using that threat as a

deterrent just as a way of applying this

to all fathers and mothers in terms of

their relationship to their children. If

your children learned that you're only

offering threats as deterrence and you

won't like like probably shouldn't say

when you're definitely shouldn't say

when you're driving on I I5, I'm going

to pull over and make you get out of the

car. that's not safe and you're not

really going to do it anyway. And as

they get older, they figure out it's

just an empty threat, so I can just keep

doing whatever I'm doing. Um, don't use

threats as a deterrent. The as it's not

even a threat. It's like the the promise

of a consequence as a warning to stop

the behavior. They need to know you're

going to follow through. So follow

through and discipline is extremely

important. But what I'm really saying

here is like um all of my boys and uh

that I've talked to about the gospel,

they they're not even presented with

another option other than believe. And I

pray that they would all be saved and

believe. And I've baptized uh Isaiah and

and Elijah and Ezra is so excited to be

baptized at this pig roast. And

actually, he's he's particularly

spiritual. He's my strong willed child,

but he I just listen to his prayers. I'm

like, "Wow, there's a real relationship

there. He's talking about things that

are spiritual. This is amazing." And so,

um, but I, you know, we'll have kids

come to the children's ministry and the

that are that are their parents aren't

even here, but their parents allowed

them to come, which I think is a very

cool thing for you to bring kids um, as

long as well hopefully the parents okay

with it. um and and you just drop them

off and and they're hearing about the

gospel and one of them about a year ago

I think and I I don't know how often

they come actually not probably not very

often said well I don't really believe

in

God well their parents are atheists so

what their parents are telling them

that's what they believe at the time and

what go sometimes God even saves kids of

of atheist parents at a young age

but it was so interesting by the time

the um the other kids like we don't

believe in God he's real I know him.

They were they were witnessing to that

person and they heard the gospel

preached through the word of God and by

the time they were done they were saying

things like well maybe I do believe

there is a

God. It was like one or two times that

they were at the church. Children are

like little sponges. So there's

something wrong when children um within

a household, children of a certain age

that parents are still responsible,

dependent children are just entirely

rejecting the faith. Uh that shouldn't

be happening at such an early age if you

understand what I'm saying. But let's go

to Timothy in this case. This is um uh

uh I think uh um 1 Timothy 5.

Yeah, just a second. 1 Timothy 3 1-7

because it says a little bit more about

this and I want to I want to go there.

So 1 Timothy 5 uh excuse me 1 Timothy 3

I'm going to read all the qualifications

of elders because there's just a little

bit more but particular in this passage

the saying is trustworthy. If anyone

aspires to office of overseer he desires

a noble task. Therefore an overseer must

be above reproach. The husband of one

wife soberminded self-controlled

respectable hospitable able to teach.

not a drunkard, not violent but gentle,

not quarrelome, not a lover of money.

Um, he must manage his household well

with all dignity, keeping his children

submissive. Because it says, for if

someone does not know how to manage his

own household, how will he care for

God's church? So that's I think the

spiritual idea behind the qualification

is that it's about household management,

not that elders somehow have the power

to save their children. Let's continue.

as for an overseer. Um, and the idea of

overseer is is not the same thing as a

ruler or a command authority leader. The

apostles actually had command authority.

Um, but the apostles did not continue.

That was a very specific group of people

um with specific qualifications. Elders

do. And as an overseer, you're

responsible for the ministry of the word

of God and prayer in church for

oversight of that. That doesn't mean

that other people couldn't teach or lead

and they do at Boonf Fairerryy. But the

idea of overseer, I just want to make a

point that it's it's episcopos the word

here. Sometimes it's translated as

bishop and then that gets made into

like, well, there need to be bishops

that are in charges of whole churches.

We're just talking about local churches

and their elders. That's what Paul's

talking about. Elder groups that are in

charge of a church that there isn't an

outside authority when the apostles are

gone. The elders are then the authority.

And that I think is important part of

plurality of elders. the autonomous

leadership of uh of churches and

individual churches. So, I don't really

agree with some of the church structures

that you see in denominations where

there are bishops over that. The word

bishop, overseer, elder, they're all

synonyms. The same thing with pastor,

teacher. Um, obviously, the person

teaching the word needs to be qualified

to be an elder. As God's stewards must

be above reproach, repeating, uh, it

bears repeating. He must not be

arrogant.

These are some of the more simple

definitions, but I'm going to tell you

in a way which it's actually sometimes

more difficult to apply them because I

will call some of these, not all of

them, but some of them sliding scale uh

qualifications. Uh I don't mean to say

anything watered down here, but what do

we say? How much adultery before they're

below approach? Zero. Well, what if

there is an area where an elder might

have some pride? All sin is related to

to to pride, by the way. There is no

elder that is perfectly humble. So then

does that mean that if there is some

pride that he needs to humble himself in

that he's automatically um below

reproach? Well, arrogant is a is a a

very kind of developed pride. It's a

conceit. So I like but you have to

define how much pride is arrogant. You

see the sliding scale. So you have to

say well he needs to be um above

reproach so he needs to be humble. Does

he always need to be perfectly humble?

it would be great. But only Jesus is

always perfectly humble. So you can see

it takes it t you can't apply these

spiritual things without spiritual

wisdom from the spirit. He has to help

you see because some some arrogance,

some pride is not obviously visible in

my life. People have said, "We think

you're prideful in that area and I don't

see it." And then I think I don't think

I am. I've stopped saying that because

so often when Christians that love me

have told me I think there's pride

there. I don't see it and they end up

being

right. So I've decided, you know what? I

might as well just travel into the

future already right now and realize it

might be true. So God show

me. It's not fun finding out you're

blind to a pride area. I don't like

having to find out that way. So I think

quick-tempered seems pretty simple.

can't have like a really hot temper and

constantly causing damage with it,

right? Uh uh the idea of lover of good

and self-controlled. Anger uh really

tempts you to not act in self-control

when you're seeing red and you end up

saying things that cause damage. And if

that's always happened, that's below

reproach. But what would happen if an

elder did have like an angry moment?

Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, halt. What

happens? You think no elder that's

actually qualified has ever said

something that's kind of road

rage, right? Elders are tempted to anger

too. So, so in that situation, the

elders have to evaluate, is this

becoming a patternistic problem of

quick-temperedness,

right? Maybe not always a sliding scale

because when you know someone has a hot

temper and it's just always an issue,

it's pretty easy to see. Um, but when I

say sliding

scale, it's not said exactly like a

drunkard, not sliding scale. If an elder

is getting drunk, that's below reproach.

I think it would be legalistic to say

that it would be a sin for any elder to

have a drink, glass of wine, a

beer. That's that's not there. It does

say in scripture that it's not good for

rulers and kings uh to have um uh hard

alcohol. That's not exactly the word,

but that's what it means. Liquor, you

know, it just it's easy to get drunk

when you're drinking liquor. Like a

light beer or a glass of wine is not

usually going to make a man drunk, but

drinking a couple glasses of whiskey

definitely could. So I think there I

think there needs to be a real wisdom

and a temperance and um moderation

around that issue. But the drunkenness

is not a sliding scale. Um drunkenness

is disqualifying or violent or greedy

for gain. On top of it, what if you have

a temper and you're

drinking? We know what happens when

there's alcoholic abuse, right? It's

devastating. And that creates necessary

trust bonds broken. So that can't be

happening. Upright and holy. These are

moral words. There needs to be real

godliness. There needs to be a set

apartness from the immorality of the

world. There should be no immoral

thinking in an elder, I think, is is one

way that I put it. And disciplined. Now,

when you take the word self-controlled

and disciplined, I want to um I was

thinking about this in relationship to

my relationship to my wife because if I

get angry or I'm upset or I'm bothered

or I'm frustrated, I tend to get tempted

not to listen anymore. It takes

self-control to listen in conflict

conversations. Have you noticed that?

You know, and so I was thinking about

that and thinking about how um I want to

become a better listener. It says that a

husband should live with his wife in an

understanding way. You'll never

understand if you don't if you don't

actively listen and the enemy is

attempting you not to actively listen.

So, in thinking about that, I um working

on sermons and coming up with

applications and figuring out the main

point is hard work. And so I I like to

pay focused attention for blocks of time

and then I just take a break. I'm still

sitting in my office desk. Uh but

sometimes I'm just like scrolling

through reels and and a lot of my reels

the algorithm is populating jokes. And

in this one it was uh this group of

hunters. I watch a lot of little hunting

videos of tips and tricks and things

like this. And this is guys that are

pretending to be in a blind speaking

really quietly telling each other dad

jokes. And I'll just read you this one.

and I laughed so hard. Um, this is what

they were saying. He goes, "The other

day my wife screamed at me. You haven't

listened to a single word I said." And I

thought, "Man, that's a weird way to

start a

conversation." Uh, so just a little bit

of levity here. Um, but the self-control

we're talking about here is not

primarily physical. I do think there

needs to be physical self-control. The

reason why I work on my weight, the

reason why I want to lose weight, the

reason why I want to get more healthy

physically and why I work out is that I

am convinced that elders should model uh

to a degree physical health. But this is

not primarily about physical

self-control. I mean, it definitely is

not not about that. But underneath about

that, there's spiritual discipline.

We're talking about the kind of man that

can be faced with deeply emotionally

distressing things and not step off the

foundation and not allow mixture of

error into his doctrine or to his speech

or into his thought life. That's what

we're talking about. We're almost done

here. He must hold firm to the

trustworthy word as taught. I just want

to talk about what that means. It means

that when scripture obviously says

something that the elders are aligning

their words with what it obviously says.

And you're like, "Well, obviously." But

it's unbelievable how often the

scriptures will say something like,

"Hey, that's the color red." And then

someone say, "Well, the context and the

occasion and times, what he actually

meant is it's blue." No, he meant it's

red. It's just an example. Scripture

doesn't say that. It happens with with

things like husband of one wife.

Everybody naturally knows that the

qualification is gendered, not because

one gender is better than the other. God

just chose that. And yet you will see

women become elders in in churches. Um

and and it it ends up creating trust

fissures. It ends up creating problems

because if the word says something

simple and you know that it says that

but you see an elder kind of undoing

that or agreeing with undoing that then

why would you believe that that elder is

really under the authority of the word

maybe that is the only area where

there's a mixture of error and not all

honeycombing automatically means that

the thought building is going to fall

down but I want to tell you a story that

I wasn't very old I wasn't any older

than some of the kids They're in the

church here right now. And we were at a

Lutheran church. And I I'm not going to

say the name or name the pastor either.

And I don't have condemning thoughts

towards this person. In fact, I have

some compassion for how devastating what

what happened in his life was.

Anyway, my dad was talking to me. We're

at Blockbuster and doesn't exist

anymore, but we're at Blockbuster and we

were looking for a movie to watch. I

forget what it was, but my dad and I

were talking and I said, "So, did the

pastor get divorced? Did that go

through?" And my dad just hung his head

and he said, "Yes." And I said, "So, is

he going to step down?" Cuz my dad had

taught me the elder qualifications from

a young age. I remember them. And he

said, "No, he's not." And it angered me.

And back then, there wasn't a lot of

self-control in my anger. Although, in

that case, it wasn't like I was throwing

a tantrum. And I'm like, well, if he's

not even going to follow the word, then

why should I listen to anything he

says? And my dad had nothing to say. He

knew. He

agreed. It end up causing a church

split. So many relationships

broken. So even one place where elders

blatantly, you know, we say, okay, well

that elder said Jesus isn't God or that

elder said that works righteousness is

an important part of salvation. It's

like, well, that's a curse. That's

terrible. Those are obvious. But what

about other things? What if an elder

basically said, "I don't think it's a

problem to be drunk." Well, it says,

"Don't get drunk. It's really simple.

Say what it says." Open state in the

truth. Don't hide that you don't believe

certain things when they only come out

in crisis. That happened in COVID. All

of these faithful Christians in churches

finding out that the elders think

they're all racist just because they're

white, which is a racist error of

doctrine.

Anyway, that's not how racism works.

Racism is a thing of the heart and it