Conditional Forgiveness? - Matthew 18:21-35 - Sunday Sermon

Good morning everyone.

>> Welcome to Boon Fairy. My name is Mati

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that's okay. Um, I don't really have any

announcements uh that I can think of

right now. I might be forgetting

something, but I we've got um a pretty

serious and pretty deep sermon about

forgiveness. Uh, and there's going to be

a lot of scripture that we're going

through, so I want to take as much time

as I can. So, let me pray and we'll get

right into it. Heavenly Father, thank

you for this opportunity to consider

what it means to forgive others as you

and Christ have forgiven us. Um what how

serious it is when we don't forgive and

whether or not there are any conditions

that we should have on initially

forgiving someone or not. And I pray

that your word would um be what people

hear. That they would be convinced from

your word, not my conviction of your

word, but what you actually say. That

you would teach them by your spirit

today. That I would get out of the way

of that. I pray as I often do that you

would open our hearts to your word and

your word to our hearts and give us the

power to change according to what we're

learning when there's change that's

needed or to even fan into flame the

things that we're doing right. Um if

we're doing things right, I pray these

things in Jesus name. Amen. I want to

tell you about probably the most

precious and valuable lesson my dad

taught me. I doubt he knew at the time

that this was the most precious thing

that he would ever teach me. He taught

me a lot of things. He he wasn't just a

father. He was a discipler to me. So

many of the things and not just in words

but in action. So in the way that um

that he would forgive. But this this was

words and these words match up with how

he acted. My father would always offer

clean requests for forgiveness. So he'd

say, "I was wrong in doing that. I'm

sorry." Uh let's say he got overly

angry, which was very rare. Which is a

big deal because his father, my

grandfather, was

described by his sons and daughters, and

there was nine of them, as a rage

monster. He ended up having, you know,

coming to faith and having a real

transformation and a sweet spirit after

that. But so my dad grew up under a very

very angry father. So the fact that he

was almost never overly angry, but let's

say he got overly angry, he would

apologize and there'd be no excuses and

just say, "I'm sorry." Um, but he would

also forgive quickly and very deeply.

And uh, I was the kind of son that

needed forgiveness. And often if like if

if you have a strong willed child at

least double that and that was me. I

would premeditate my crimes against my

family. So I would think you know my I

remember um getting spanked one time and

think for for doing something I forget

what it was but it was relatively

severe. um and thinking, you know what,

uh this banking hurts less than that was

fun

calculating,

you know, so tough kid to raise and and

you know, needed lots of forgiveness. Um

but he would also teach me about

forgiveness in words and practical ways.

So this was back um right as the

original Game Boy was coming out. Uh and

I begged my parents to get it. They

didn't really know what they thought of

it, but they thought uh you know, maybe

we'll get it for him. And so they got me

a Game Boy first. I got a Game Boy

before my brother did. And we had this I

remember it was like a flower print

couch with a high back. And my brother

would be sitting. The only game I had at

that time was Tetris. It came It was

packaged with Tetris. And so I was

enjoying playing Tetris. And I was

trying to get 100 lines so you get the

rocket. And I I knew enough about that.

And so my brother would be perched up on

top of the armchair and I'd be sitting

and watching me and he would he was

constantly bugging, can I play? Can I

play? And it was like I think I remember

if I remember correctly, it was like the

first day and I just wanted to play and

I didn't want to give up the Game Boy.

And so I said, no, I'm playing. It's my

Game Boy. And so eventually got so upset

that I wasn't letting him play, they

punched me in the back of the neck. And

I've always I've always been this big or

this broad shoulder, but I was always a

stocky kind of tank of a kid of a

person. And my brother's not my

brother's taller than me in Lanker. He's

a ultramarathoner, believe it or not, in

Colorado. Uh his name's Highness. And um

so it didn't hurt. It wasn't the pain of

the punch. It was the principle that How

dare he do that to me? I'm going to

wreck him now. So I'm chasing after him,

you know, put the game boy on. Chasing

after him. goes and and my dad catches

me before I can do any serious harm and

I could have uh and my brother slams the

door and this was I was growing up in

Germany and and doors all had locks on

them. Um so he locked the door um and so

I couldn't get in and I'm just sitting

there stewing on the couch and I'm

premeditating what I'm going to do when

I when my dad's not around and how I'm

going to get him back. And my dad sits

down next to me and he says, "Mate, what

happened?" And I said I was playing and

I was really close to having uh 100

lines and getting like the the main

reward like finishing the game

basically. And Hunus was angry that I

wasn't letting him play and he punched

me in the back of the neck and then

that's why I was running after them. And

he said, "Oh, that uh did it hurt?" I

said, "No." And he said, "Well, why are

you so angry?" He's like, "Because he

punched me in the back of the neck." So

my dad gets it's the principle of the

thing. And uh they didn't have a right

to do that and he didn't have the right

to demand the Game Boy from me. it's

mine. It was given to me. Um, I can't be

forced to share it sort of thing. So, I

was standing what I thought well within

my rights. And my dad said, "Uh, do you

know what I think you should do? I think

you should go upstairs and apologize to

Hannis uh that you didn't let him play."

And I was like, "What? He was the one

that punched me and you want me to go

apologize to him?" And he said, "It

doesn't mean that Hannis doesn't need to

apologize. It doesn't mean that what he

did wasn't worse than uh what uh what

that that what you did isn't worse, but

let me ask you this. Do you think that

um who gave you that Game Boy? And he

said, "Well, you did, but it's mine

now." I was like, "Yeah, but who gave me

the money to give you that Game Boy?"

And I said, "God." And and he said,

"Yeah, and and how generous is God to

give you that Game Boy?" And I said,

"Well, really generous and I love it."

And he goes, "Well, do you think God

might want you to be generous with what

he gives me?" And I'm like, "I hate when

I lose arguments, you know?" So, I'm

like, but I also don't I've always had u

kind of like Moses was about justice.

I've I have this truth thing. It's in my

gut. I can't get it out. Like, I do not

like hearing something that's not true.

And uh one of my besetting sins when I

walked away from from God in college was

immediately to start lying about

everything because you can get a lot of

things when you lie and convince people

of that. And I thought, well, God's not

honest. God's not true to what he says

he is all about. So I don't have to be

honest. Um but even back then, it was a

deep sin for me to be lying like that

because I just knew deep down that it's

wrong. So I can't lie and say, "No, God

doesn't want me to generous." And and so

he said, "I think God wants you to be

generous and I think um just not giving

your brother even a single turn was

wrong." And he goes, "Yeah, but it

doesn't make it okay that he punched me

in the back of the neck." And he goes,

"No, it doesn't." But ever since you uh

were young, I was probably eight at this

time. Um or so,

uh it was

maybe maybe I was seven. It was still in

the late 80s, I think, when the Game Boy

came out. And uh so he said, "But ever

since you've been young, your mother and

I have noticed that you have a a calling

on your life and that you're going to be

a leader. It's your choice whether you

want to be a godly leader or uh a not

godly leader, but everywhere you go,

kids follow you around. Uh they want you

to to organize the game or whatever." So

like, and that is kind of how my life

has been around been. and and on the

football team at Portland State, the

coaches called me a cancer because one

of our coaches baited the middle

linebacker or outside linebacker into

getting angry at him and then kicked him

off the field and said he couldn't play

in the next game and we were playing

Oregon that week and Portland State were

playing up a whole level. they have more

scholarships. And so I said, "If he

doesn't play, I won't play." And the

rest of the defense followed. But I got

called a cancer. And later then the

coaches said, "We're so proud of you

guys for banding together." But I still

got called a cancer. And I was

intentionally being a cancer. I was just

giving him back what I felt he deserved

for baiting this football player. So

whether it's for bad or for good, God's

given me influence and just a sort of a

posture of leadership, and I can't get

rid of it. And my dad had noticed that

really early. He said, "You have a

calling on your life to to be a godly

leader." And uh the question is whether

you're going to lead your brother to the

cross or not. And if you go up there and

you tell him, "I'm sorry that I didn't

let you play." Hand him the Game Boy.

I'm almost certain he's going to say,

"I'm sorry I punched you, but I want you

to lead." I'll never forget it. I went

upstairs, knocked on the door, and said,

"Honey, I'm not going to punch you back.

I want to talk to you." He opens the

door. I come in and I hand him the Game

Boy and I said, "I'm sorry I didn't let

you play." and he in tears says, "I'm

sorry I punched you." Okay.

So, I apologize to him for what I,

whether it's true or not, was convinced

in my heart was a lesser sin than his

sin. And I did so before he repented or

confessed or asked for forgiveness. All

things that felt so wrong to me. Um, but

another thing uh my dad said when I

said, "This isn't fair." or still

resisting even though I already knew it

was right. I could feel it in my spirit

that it was right. And uh what what God

said is that you know what's more unfair

that you would have to forgive your

brother before he even apologizes for

what seems like a lesser or more minor

sin than what he did. You feel like he

what he did is outrageous and what you

did is just a smaller thing. What's more

unfair? You having to do that or Jesus

who never sinned having to die for all

your sin?

And I said, "Jesus having to die for all

my sin." And he said, "Yeah, the cross

is where you get the power to forgive.

The cross is where you get the power to

admit that you sinned. And whoever goes

to the cross first is leading. Whoever

goes to the cross first is leading."

Never forget it. It's informed so much

of my ministry. It's true in marriage

counseling. It's true in pastoring. It's

church. It's true in in church schisms

and church splits. When people lead and

and do not say, "Oh, this person needs

to say they're sorry first cuz they did

the worst thing." And even if that

person isn't at the time saying that

they're sorry, when people come and say,

"I forgive you." Or when people say

first, "Will you forgive me?" That

person's the one that's influencing

leading other people to the cross. And

when people do that, there's unity and

power and restored relationship. And

when people don't, there's distance and

breakage and separation and isolation.

And so I've never forgotten it. It's

just about the most precious uh teaching

I've ever I've ever received. And it's

just deeply embedded in my h in my

heart. It's like before the concrete

settled of character, it got mixed into

the wet concrete through my dad's

disciplehip. And I tell you that because

it illustrates a point about forgiveness

that we ought not to have conditions on

it. I want to tell you my main point.

We're going to be I'm going to be

showing you aspects of that main point

from Matthew 18, famous parable of the

unforgiving servant. But the main point

is human forgiveness must be offered

unconditionally regardless of the

severity of the sin or heart attitude of

the offender. I want to prove that to

you from scripture. This won't just be

one scripture, but I want to show you

that. And I also want to show you why

it's so important and when when

conditions are put on human forgiveness,

why it's so destructive.

um any conditions on human forgiveness.

Human forgiveness must be offered

unconditionally regardless of the

severity of the sin or the heart

attitude of the offender. Okay, so I

tell you that story. It was a big deal

for me as a kid to get punched back in

the back of the neck. Even if it didn't

hurt, it felt like a violation of trust.

He's behind me. I didn't see him stake

in the grass punching me in the head

just because I didn't give up the game

boy. I got that day. That's how it felt

at the time. I realized before I went in

to apologize to him that based on what

Christ did for me, it's a big deal for

me not to be generous with things as

well. Um, it doesn't excuse what he did

in any way. But my my point is that I

could have put a condition on it. My

heart felt like putting conditions on

it. No, his sin was worse. He hasn't

even admitted that he is wrong. Why

should I go apologize for the smaller

thing when he's did this other thing? He

actually punched me. I didn't cause any

harm to him just by not letting him play

yet. I was going to let him play. So

many conditions that you can put on

forgiving people. The thing is that the

Holy Spirit's always ready to give you

the power to forgive. I want to show you

that just how much power there's no sin

that someone can commit to you that gets

anywhere close to uh exhausting the Holy

Spirit's infinite power to help you

forgive. So when you surrender, you gain

that power. But that surrender is

painful.

It's painful to say, especially in

advance of someone even saying they're

wrong, that they did something wrong and

asking for forgiveness, to forgive them

in advance. It's because the cross is

painful. Taking up your cross daily is

painful. It means that that fleshly part

of you that feels justifying and saying,

"They don't deserve my forgiveness. They

haven't even apologized. They're just

going to do it again." That fleshly

desire to not forgive the way you've

been forgiven uh has to be put to death

by the spirit. So there's pain in it.

The worse the sin, I think the the

greater the severity of sin, the greater

the pain. But we ought never to say that

there's some sin so great that the Holy

Spirit would not be able to easily help

us forgive. We ought not to say, well,

that's a hard sin to forgive or that's

an easy sin to forgive because every sin

is easy to forgive for the Holy Spirit.

It's just a question of whether you can

surrender or not. And it's not hard or

easy to surrender. It's just painful to

surrender. It's just painful to

surrender. So, I'm fine with saying it's

painful to surrender, but let's not say,

"Well, that's a hard sin to forgive."

Not for the Holy Spirit. It isn't. Why

would we say that? And it's only by the

Holy Spirit that you'd have the power to

do so. So, it's about surrender. But

this idea of that maybe some people's

sins are just too great. Uh in the

parable of the unforgiving servant, God

Jesus specifically is comparing the sin

debt that we owe him compared to the sin

debt that someone else owes us if we

were to forgive them. Okay? And so that

comparison is is really important. So

let's look at Matthew 18 and let's read

through the parable of the unforgiving

servant. And there's more than two

things to notice. But the main two

things I want you to notice is the

difference between the debt that a human

owes us compared to the difference that

of the debt that we owed God. And the

second thing is how severe Jesus says

the consequence is for not forgiving

others. So two things again I'll repeat

them from this parable. um the

difference in the the magnitude of our

sin against God compared to the

magnitude of the sin that other people

per perpetrate against us or we

perpetrate against them regardless of

whatever the sin is and the severity of

the consequence for not forgiving others

how serious of an issue it actually is.

Okay, so let me I'll read the entire

parable and then just walk through it um

and go from there. Matthew 18 21. Then

Peter came up and said to him that said

to Jesus, "Lord, how often will my

brother sin against me and I forgive him

as many as seven times?" Jesus said to

him, "I do not say to you seven times,

but 77 times. Therefore, the kingdom of

heaven may be compared to a king who

wished to settle accounts with his

servants. When he began to settle, he

was brought to him who owed him 10,000

talents. And since he who could not pay,

his master ordered him to be sold with

his wife and children all that he had

and the payment be made. So the servant

fell on his knees, imploring him, have

patience with me, and I will repay you

everything. And out of pity for him, the

master of that servant, released him,

and forgave him the debt. But when that

servant went out, he found one of his

fellow servants who owed him a hundred

dinari. And seizing him, he began to

choke him, saying, "Pay what you owe."

So his fellow servant fell down and

pleaded with him, "Have patience with me

and I will pay you." He refused and went

and put him in prison until you should

pay the debt. Then his fellow servant

saw what had taken place. They were

greatly distressed and they went in and

reported to their master all that had

taken place. This master summoned him

and said, "You wicked servant, I forgave

you all that debt because you pleaded

with me. And should not you who ha you

have had mercy on your fellow servant as

I had mercy on you? And in anger his

master delivered him to the jailers

until he should be pay all his debt. So

also my heavenly father will do to every

one of you if you do not forgive your

brother from your heart.

Let's walk through it. Uh Peter is

asking

um a genuine question here. How often do

we have to forgive someone? You know,

let's say the very next day I was

playing Game Boy and I said, "Yes, I'll

let you play. Let me finish this game

and I'll let you play." And before I

finish the game, my brother punched me

in the neck again. He didn't, but let's

just say he did. And then again, we go

through the process of forgiveness,

second step, reconciliation. But this

time, I'm like, I'd rather you not sit

right behind me. That's the second time

you punched me. I do forgive you, but

sit beside me. Well, anyway, he does it

a second time. He does it a third time.

He does the fourth time. At some point

you feel like a fool for continuing to

forgive the person because they just

keep doing it again. This is such a

common experience that when Peter asks

that you can see like especially before

Jesus actually teaching what forgiveness

is really about that you might think

actually seven times forgiving someone

that's a lot of times. You can see how

people were thinking that you people

today might think man I've forgiven this

person 70 times seven times how many is

it going to take? And Jesus says, "But

seven

times, right?" And other places 77

times. Seven times, right? And if you're

the person that's like, "Okay, but on

the 78th time, I don't have to." Right?

You know, you're not you're missing it.

You're not understanding the assignment,

as kids these days would say. Um, so

he and he he likens this in in his

parable to a king. And a king is owed a

debt. And that debt uh let me let me

find it again. It's about 20 years worth

of of payment. Uh was it 10,000 dinari

owed him? 10,000 talents. Yeah. So

10,000 talents. 10,000 talents would

have been about 20 years wages. So a

lifetime of wealth development. And

that's how much he owed him. Really

can't pay him back. He's saying I can

pay you back, but he really can't pay

him back. And so he implores this king

uh to to let him pay him back. And the

king has mercy on him and just forgives

him 20 years worth of wages. Big deal. A

lot of mercy, right? By the time we get

down to um what this servant who had his

debt forgiven is holding against his

servant, it's 100 dinari, which is like

a day's wages. 20 years worth of wages.

A day's wages. Okay. So in parable in

parables we have to be careful. Not

every aspect of the story has a

counterpart in the kingdom of heaven but

some do. So in this case I'll list ones

that do. Um the money represents

something the debt but it doesn't

represent

financial debt in the kingdom of heaven.

It represents a sin debt. How do we know

that? Because by the end um it says that

this is actually about forgiveness. So

also when your heavenly father will do

to everyone if you do not forgive your

brother from your heart. So the parable

is about forgiveness. Peter asked about

forgiveness. He's telling a parable

about forgiveness. It's not about money.

And that might be obvious to you, but

it's really important to know. It's not

about money so much as it is about the

sin debt. In other words, uh the king,

who does the king represent? God. and

God forgives one person a massive sin

debt and then they go and hold a minor

sin debt comparatively against the

person and and choke them. So they

basically beat them and then put them in

prison. Okay? If you were the king or

the queen, you would be angry too. So

you can see how it these parables elicit

response in the human heart. They're

written in such a way it's like well we

all know how hard you have to work and

for 20 years wages that's a long time

worth of working that's a huge debt uh

it's not something you just pay off

easily and uh the king just forgave the

debt so I want I want you to imagine

like maybe some of you have debt and

maybe the bank is owned by a CEO that's

a friend of a friend and you come to him

and he just forgives you that debt

maybe your house debt maybe whatever

debt you've acred and there's huge

weights off your shoulders And then some

guy, I don't know, owes you $1,000

and you beat him and have him imprisoned

for it, right? It's it is evil. And and

Jesus calls it evil through the parable.

The king calls him, "You wicked servant.

You wicked servant." Notice how the

notion of him owing $10,000 isn't met

with a statement of him being wicked for

not having paid it back. Uh wickedness

is like the most advanced kind of evil

you can have. Having a debt and not

being able to pay pay it back is not

going to be biblically considered in the

category of wickedness. It may be

sinful. You know, it may be dishonest.

You may be unreliable. But wickedness is

the intensification of like what what do

you say above wickedness that's more

evil? You know, wickedness is like to

the maximum. So when when we look at

what the parable means in the kingdom of

heaven, it it is saying that our debt to

God is astronomical. Okay? And and

because he forgives us that debt um

compared to what we had to be forgiven

and the cost that had to be paid for us,

the debts of others are minor. Right?

He's not saying that the debts of

others, their sin debts towards us are

insignificant or not meaningful. Jesus

had to die for those too. But this is

the way Jesus God this is the way God

the Father and the Holy Spirit see it

when we don't forgive after having been

forgiven the way we've been forgiven.

It's wicked. It's a wicked thing to do.

Um so

we've already made the first point. The

first thing I want you to remember from

the parable compared to what God has

forgiven us on the horizontal plane up

from heaven down to earth what we

forgive others pales in comparison.

That's at least one thing Jesus is

showing from this. Um, and that's even

on the 78th time. On the 71st time and

the 61st time, no matter how many times

someone does something that is is

sinful, um, uh, it it is uh still a

lesser debt. They cannot acrue to us the

debt that we have towards God. And the

reason for that, if you're thinking, is

that really true? is that our sin is a a

sin against a perfect God, a sin against

a holy God. There is um a uh a justified

outrage that he has, a wrath that he has

for the sin that we've committed. When

when when uh David sins um against

Bashibba and against Uriah or with

Bashibba, against Uriah um he ends up

saying against you only have I sinned.

You know, because Basheba and Uriah and

everyone involved, extended family,

they're God's creatures. They're God's

creation and so it all belongs to him.

So he's the ultimate problem. The

ultimate problem with our sin is the

Lord, right? Because he's just. He

doesn't pardon the guilty. Um and so

when he forgives us, it costs him his

son, who is God, his life. So the weight

of our unforgiveness is equal to

basically dismissing the weight of the

cross. That's the problem. That's why

it's so wicked. You're saying that the

greatest, most merciful, most just, most

kind, most generous, most sacrificial

thing that's ever happened that afforded

the cross, the crucifixion of Jesus

Christ, the death and resurrection

is not a great enough thing for you to

forgive others, their debts. That's

evil. That's wicked. Okay? So, that's

the difference between what God has

forgiven us compared to the horizontal

plane of anything that we would have to

forgive others. And again, um, looking

on the horizontal plane without

comparison, there are some heinous,

outrageously wicked things that people

do to each other. Um, still those pale

in comparison to our debt towards God.

Um, so, uh, the second thing I wanted

you to notice is the consequence. So,

again, God's the king. So, it's really

God speaking here. We get into when the

king says, "You wicked servant." That's

aligned with how God thinks and feels

and speaks about those who refuse to

forgive when they've been forgiven so

much. I forgave you all that debt

because you pleaded with me. And should

not you have had mercy on your fellow

servant as I had mercy on you? And in

anger, his master delivered him to the

jailers. I believe God experiences anger

when we don't forgive. Now I would

distinguish that bit from wrath because

when Christians don't forgive, wrath is

is uh connected and you can't separate

it from condemnation. So I don't

experience I don't think he experiences

wrath towards us but it angers him. It

offends his heart to the point where

anger is in his heart towards us. And

it's not anger that's out of control. A

lot of us have experience with maybe

angry people or angry fathers and and so

when we hear anger it's hard for us to

separate that from human sinfulness. But

this is sinless anger. It's righteous

anger. It's under control, but it's

still anger. And a king would not be

wrong to experience anger towards

someone who did this kind of thing,

choking him. Uh delivered him to the

jailers. Now, the Greek word for jailers

actually means torturers. In fact, in

the NASB, KJV,

NIV,

uh, CSB, LA, LSB, I'm just naming like,

uh,

translations that are generally

respected within the conservative

evangelical, uh, world. Um, they all say

torturers of some. They might say

torture, jailers, and torturers. Uh, one

version, I think the ESV says

inquisitors. What do inquisitors do?

Well, the Greek word was a word uh that

describes basically inquisitors, people

who torture you to get the truth out of

you. So, even if they're jailers at this

time, they're definitely torturers. Um,

and the ESV, although I we use the ESV

as the primary and I think trustworthy

version, it's in the huge minority in

terms of trustworthy translations here,

saying it's just jailers. The all the

other translations say torturers. So I

read it again uh and and use the word

torturers like the other translations

do. And in anger his master delivered

him to the torturers. At a minimum he's

in prison for what he did. And some

might say oh the way to read this

parable is that God like revoked the

forgiveness of the debt. And in a way

yes but what's really happening here is

that what was the initial consequence

for him not paying 20 years repaying 20

years worth of debt? he was going to get

sold into bond servitude. So the value

of his life and the value of the family

of his life, he had to go and become a

bond servant. And in his bond service,

which you lose your freedom in doing,

and so does your family, it's a terrible

thing. That's how you pay that back to

the king. That's what they would do back

then. Everyone would know uh some bond

servant that that had happened to. It's

a terrible thing to have happened. It's

not the same thing as as slavery was in

America where you're like man stealing,

taking them, and selling them. Um the

person had a debt. Okay? And so that's

the initial consequence for not paying

the debt. Uh the consequence for what he

did, choking the guy and putting him in

prison for a day's wages is being sent

to the torturers, the jailers, and then

uh until you should pay back all his

debt. We might think in the parable

sense, well, maybe you could pay back uh

20 years worth of debt. Um I'm not sure

how you do that while you're in prison.

But if we're talking about our sin debt,

we realize actually we can never pay it

back. We can never pay it back. Okay,

now we have enough details just to know

how serious the consequence is because

what 35 says, it ought to be a little

terrifying to us. And I'm not going to

in any way try to alleviate that

warning. So also my heavenly father will

do to every one of you if you do not

forgive your brother from your heart.

Okay. So, if the debt is the sin debt,

well, what's the jail? And what does it

mean to have to pay back your own debt?

We're talking about condemnation. We're

talking about hell. We're talking about

that God uh finds you after him offering

you this forgiveness of such a mountain

of debt you could never repay, not even

forgiving your brother after that. Uh he

says, "Look, if if that's if that's what

you do, this is where you're going to go

and you'll pay your own debt." The worst

thing that can ever happen to a human

being is that they would be held

accountable for their own sin debt. You

cannot atone for it. Not in a million

years, not in all eternity. So that is

really how serious it is. I think when

when we come across warnings this heavy,

look, you don't forgive people, God will

not forgive you. we ought to have

another. It's basically the point of of

the parable. And what Jesus is saying is

not seven times, but if you ever just

don't forgive somebody, right? It's it's

a mark of not being saved. I want to

show you that from another passage

because when we have something so

serious, we ought to back it up with

another place. So, uh, the very next

place I'd like to go is Matthew 6:14

Matthew 6:14–15

through 15 where Jesus says this. And I

honestly I think that this passage

sometimes gets avoided because it's just

so scary. Uh verse 14 in Matthew 6 and

this is right after the Lord's prayer.

For if you forgive others their

trespasses, your heavenly father will

also forgive you. But if you do not

forgive others their trespasses, neither

will your father forgive your

trespasses.

It says what it says. It's literally red

letter in some of your Bibles. Uh Jesus

could have offered some disclaimers, you

know, um but he didn't just says this is

the way it is. He tells another parable

saying this is the way it is. Forgiving

others is a mark of salvation and a

pattern of consistent unforgiving

hard-heartedness towards others is a

mark of not being saved. It's a mark of

not being saved. And how loving of God

to warn people um of these marks because

you can easily think, well, yeah, I come

to church. I do good things. I'm saved.

And think in your heart that you're

saved. You know, those to whom Jesus

said, I never know you were shocked. But

we did many mighty works in your name

and we prophesied in your name. They're

shocked that they're not saved. Says,

"Off with you workers of lawlessness."

So, how good is it for God to warn

people and give us a diagnostic tool if

maybe you have not yet truly understood

the gospel that there's nothing you can

do to merit your forgiveness from God

and that Jesus did everything. Um, and

that excludes any other work that

accomplish anything regarding your

forgiveness. Um, and that that is part

of the glory of God and greatness of God

that he would take care of all of it.

It's the freess of the gospel. That's

what grace means. And then he affords

you that, but you won't forgive someone

else. When God looks at it, it's like

you didn't forgive a a guy's Dave's

wages when he forgave you 20 years worth

of debt that you had. Right? That's how

he sees it. He thinks it's wicked. He

think he thinks it's deserving. He knows

it's deserving of condemnation. So very

very serious not to forgive others. Very

very serious. And that's all the more I

want to spend time on that parable that

we could spend so much more time other

than application. You know, this could

be the end of the sermon in the way if

we didn't have something else really

serious to deal with that I want to talk

about regarding forgiveness. Um, but

it's worth considering. Um, are you

feeling some conviction that there's

someone that you haven't forgiven that

you should forgive? Is maybe my little

story with my brother, which it's real,

it's true, it really happened, left a

mark on my heart. My dad's disciplehip

was dramatically helpful and profound in

my life and I've carried with me ever

since. Um, maybe someone sinned against

you and maybe what they did is like akin

to theft, akin to destroying your

reputation. Maybe it's physical harm

that they've caused you. And maybe you

said something kind of mean back, but

what they did is so much worse than the

mean thing you said. And the

destructiveness of what they did is

indeed worse than what you did. And

you're thinking, well, I'm not going to

I'm not going to go to them say sorry.

They need to say they're sorry first.

They're the primary offender. They're

the one that did it. I was just

responding and yeah, I didn't respond

right, so God forgive me. But I'm not

going to go tell them that first. Do you

agree that first the cross is first to

be right with the Lord, first to please

the spirit, first to stop grieving him?

Right? So this it's really the same side

of a different side of the same coin to

to ask for forgiveness or to be forgiven

there. It's it takes the same amount of

humbling and the same amount of pain. I

sinned. I'm sorry. I've got no excuse. I

forgive you without needing them to

merit anything. So maybe maybe the way

to reconcile is to go to that person and

take responsibility for anything you

can. Show them your soft heart. Show

them your love and your desire to uh be

in relationship to them again and pray

in advance that that would be used by

the Holy Spirit to soften their hearts

and then have them apologize. The

reality is no injustice was done when I

apologized to my brother and then he

immediately apologized to me. It's gone.

It was gone that day. I think kids

sometimes have a little more malleable

heart for some reason to forgive. It

just wasn't even upset at him anymore.

And I didn't even think about that he

can't sit behind me because it's like

he's sorry. He knew it was wrong. He's

not going to do it again. Problem's gone

anyway, right? He doesn't do it often.

So think about someone in your life that

I know deep down like maybe on the

surface you convince yourself I don't

need them in my life. I'm not that sad

they're not there. But deep down on

lonely days when you miss your friend,

whoever it is, your child, your adult

child, um,

do you have an opportunity to go and

maybe be humble to them first? They

don't deserve it. Saying someone

deserves forgiveness is also the

opposite of the gospel. Nobody deserves

to be forgetting given their sin debt.

In fact, when we say they don't deserve

it, we're kind of playing our hand that

we still have a strain of works

righteousness in our faith because who

cares if they don't deserve it. That's

the whole point, right? You don't

deserve it either.

It's kind of evil to say they don't

deserve it, isn't it? It's a little like

the unforgiving service, you know, and

you know, out of the overflow of the

heart, the mouth speaks. That's where it

starts. So, bad attitudes ought not to

be thought of as like, well, at least I

didn't act on it. It's the origin of the

sin. The origin of a forgiving heart is

saying they don't deserve it. No, they

don't deserve it. It has to be offered

entirely freely. So maybe you'd be

willing to go and and be at the cross.

And by the way, even if they don't,

which I would say in my experience,

often people don't uh seems like it's

anecdotal, but more often people don't

really offer you satisfying apologies

and and let you see how sorry they are

for what they did. Even when it's

relatively severe, you can wait at the

cross for a long time.

You can go and it's not like you have to

keep going to them over and over and

over again. You go to them once, say

you're sorry for what you can. By the

way, I'm not assuming that every single

time just cuz someone sinned against

you, you've done something wrong. Don't

apologize for things you're not

convicted to apologize for. It's false

to do that. Uh really do ask and then

listen if the Holy Spirit is telling you

that what you did was wrong though. And

even if even if it's true that it's more

minor, remember the comparison is not

between how great your brother sins is

compared to yours. The comparison is how

great your sin against the Lord is

compared to other people's sin of you.

Okay, I want to get even a little bit

more serious here. My brother punched me

in the back of the neck. Didn't hurt. He

didn't really cause damage. It was just

the principle. And so, you might say,

"Well, big deal that you forgave him,

right? You don't know what people have

done to me." Uh, people can do heinous

things. People can do heinous things.

I don't mean to compare what was done to

you to what was done to somebody else.

But what was done to Charlie Kirk and to

Erica Kirk was a heinous thing, a wicked

thing, a vile and violent thing. Okay.

So you ask yourself, you know, is Tyler

Robinson repentant? No. Seeking to get

off the whole thing. He's not made any

statement that I know of that what he

did was wrong. He thinks it was

justified and right. robbing children of

their father, robbing a wife of her

husband, and killing one of God's

creatures, cold-hearted, premeditated

murder. Right?

So then I want to ask you the question,

was it right for Erica to forgive him?

He did not repent. And this is a huge

question that people have in their

lives. They say, "Well, this person's

not even asking for my forgiveness.

They're not even sorry for what they

did. They have no remorse. Should I

forgive them? Okay. Is it biblical that

you would? Okay. Um,

what I'm going to do might seem really

strange.

I am not trying to trick you. I am

trying to ask you a series of questions

that helps you evaluate in your heart

how

how strong you are against being

deceived in the doctrine of forgiveness.

Okay? So, I'm going to make a statement

here without any context and then I'm

going to ask you a question about it.

Um, if I were to say to you that there

are some times where the right thing to

do is to withhold the extension of the

action of forgiveness. Might say, why

such specific words? I'm quoting, okay?

And I will show you the source in a

moment and I'll give you the context in

a moment. But if I were to say, do you

think I could convince you that this

statement is true? Sometimes it is wrong

against God's will to extend the action

of forgiveness. Sometimes it's wrong.

All right. I want to before I give you

any more context, I want to tell you a

couple of things that I'm not talking

about. We are not talking about

reconciliation. There's a categorical

difference between forgiveness and

reconciliation. For example,

reconciliation is codependent on the

response of either the offender or the

person offended. codependent. Uh why?

Well, because reconciliation means,

let's keep it like a really

one-dimensional reconciliation. This

person has sinned against this person.

This person comes and says they're

sorry. Please forgive me. This person

forgives. Then and only then can they

reconcile. If this person does not say

they're sorry and isn't indeed sorry and

this person forgives, still no

reconciliation because they're

codependent. If this person doesn't say

they're sorry and this person doesn't

forgive, still no reconciliation.

However, what we're talking about here

is can and should this per person

forgive fully

independent rather than codependent,

non-conditionally rather than

conditionally.

And let's say one of the conditions is

if this person has repented or not.

Okay, so can you imagine?

And you'd have to biblically defend it.

So imagine your mind biblically

defending the idea that sometimes again

strike reconciliation. Today's sermon is

not about reconciliation. We can do an

all reconciliation sermon on another

point if there's deep interest in that.

We have another Sunday off from a book

study. But this is about initial

forgiveness,

forgiving from the heart. Okay. And is

there ever a time where this category

and this category alone right you cannot

affect somebody else's heart about

whether you know because you might have

someone you absolutely love even a

family member and they won't admit what

they did is wrong or they won't forgive

you no matter how many times you've

asked genuinely. So there can be you

cannot force reconciliation, right? But

when it's just about that initial

forgiveness, the the the heart of

forgiveness being extended to someone,

do you think that if I tried with all my

might and all the gifting that I have

and all the development of preacher I

have that I could convince you that

sometimes that initial forgiveness

should be withheld and specifically

extension of the action of forgiveness

should be withheld. Do you think I could

convince you of that? Um, if I can, uh,

then you are weak on your doctrine of

forgiveness. Um, so I'm not trying to

I'm doing something somewhat risky here

because if someone is convinced by my

argument, you become deceived in a very

deep and dangerous way. But instead, I'm

going to walk through one of the most

deceptive arguments that I've ever heard

made

and tell you after making the arguments

why it's so false and how destructive it

is to the gospel and to the unity of the

church and how dangerous it indeed is.

But what do you think? Just no raising

of hands because I'm not trying to

expose anybody or make you feel bad in

any way. You did do your own little self

diagnostic here. How strong am I on the

doctrine of forgiveness? Could I be

deceived on it? Right. Um, by the way,

it's not human beings that are doing

that kind of deception. It's the enemy

himself. He's more brilliant, more

powerful than any of us. Subtracted the

Holy Spirit with the Holy Spirit. We're

infinitely more powerful than him.

But unless you're totally aligned with

the spirit, you verse Satan, not a good

matchup.

So,

how susceptible are you to false

teaching around forgiveness? Let's find

out and for yourself. and then and then

I will try to strengthen that and give

you tools to understand to at least in

this uh deception not be deceived in

this way. Now why did I say it was

brought to me this idea these quotes

these teachings uh prominent evangelical

teachers um prominent organizations are

agreeing to I thought it was fringe

radicalism that someone say that yes

there are conditions on forgiveness uh

it's not it's just starting to take root

in the church in America and it is wild

the arguments that are used okay so I'm

going to read to you several passages

directly from these places one is from a

um biblical theology uh or it's a

systematic uh work of theology called um

Greg what's it called the

it's like a bib a theology of biblical

counseling a theology of biblical

counseling is the title of it and it's a

systematic theology of biblical

counseling and this is Heath Lambert

that's teaching this um and I read the

entire chapter and I would say the vast

majority of what he's saying I'm

Seems like good stuff until you get to

this this place. Okay, since I'm not

trying to deceive you, I'm already

telling you there's a lot of falsehood

in here. But I want you to really think,

wait, is that true? What how would I be

able to defend against it from

scripture? Okay, so uh go ahead and put

up the uh does forgiveness require

repentance passage. Okay, I'm going to

read I guess I can see it really well

there. Before concluding our discussion,

this is Heath Lambert writing on

forgiveness. We need to address one more

very important issue. Should we forgive

someone who has not confessed their sin

and forsaken it? Some believe that the

biblical commands to forgiveness

apply even if a person has not sought

forgiveness. I do.

I'd never even heard of conditional

forgiveness until this was brought to me

by someone who's training for biblical

counseling. Uh so the idea that some

believe this, I I think it's the vast

majority of genuine Bible believing

Christians that believe that. Others

contend that the Bible endorses a sort

of conditional forgiveness that occurs

only after someone requests forgiveness.

Okay, here we're getting to the real

issue. Are there conditions on initial

forgiveness? This issue is an important

one as it impacts how we help counselles

who have been wronged by someone who

will not admit it or does not care that

they have sinned. We can make at least

three observations to help us in the

counseling task. First, we have already

observed

that we are to forgive others as God has

forgiven us. One implication of this

beyond what we saw above is that God

forgives only those who have sought his

forgiveness through a humble confession

of sin. If the model of our own

forgiveness is the kind we have received

from God, then this rules out extending

forgiveness to someone who will not

admit guilt or does not seem interested

in pursuing reconciliation.

Okay. So, what is being said is we are

to model our forgiveness after God's

forgiveness. Let's go to where it says

that in the Bible. Um because as long as

as that is understood correctly, that is

absolutely true. And uh it's a verse

that's so important to me. I've

memorized it. I guess I don't need to go

there. Be kind to one another. It's

Ephesians 4:32. Be kind to one another,

Ephesians 4:32

tender-hearted, forgiving one another as

God in Christ forgave you. As God. My I

remember it fondly um because I actually

got the job but my interview sermon was

on that very verse. Okay. And I titled

the interview sermon cathos which is the

uh Greek word for just as. Okay. Cathos

just as like he forgave you. Okay. What

this author is saying is that God

doesn't forgive people until they repent

till they confess and repent. And so we

should not either. Um,

so I it, you know, is that persuasive to

you? If it's not and it feels off in

your heart, which it should, why can you

identify it? Can you can you can you

quote scriptures or can you at least

think of scriptures that God calls to

your mind and heart that are like,

"Yeah, that's not true. That's not

true." And I want to show you why it's

not true. Um, I don't mean to bore you

with uh some of you will love this and

some of you might feel a little bored by

it. Uh it just depends probably on your

gift set and interest within the

Christian church and the Bible. But um

there are two words I want to give you.

You probably already know them related

to like viral diseases. Incommunicable

and communicable. So there are

communicable diseases meaning you can

give them to others. There's

incommunicable diseases. There are also

communicable attributes of God and

incommunicable attributes of God. And

even if you've never heard this way of

describing this doctrine, you know this

if you've been around church. Can you

communicable just means copy, imitate?

Can you copy God's kindness? Yeah, you

can. This is all by the power of the

spirit. The the the spirit's power in us

doing any of these copying of God is

implied. But apart from the spirit, you

cannot truly imitate God in a way that

pleases him. So, can you be kind to

someone? Can you be gentle? Can you be

self-controlled?

Right? So, the can you be merciful? Yes,

those are communicable things. What

about anger? Okay. Well, anger is

obviously communicable as well because

we can have righteous anger and God can

have anger. Righteous anger. What about

wrath? Remember the sons of Zebedee when

they say, "Should we call down fire from

heaven to destroy them?" And Jesus

rebukes them. Well, wrath happens to be

not something that is communicable and

it belongs to God and it's part of his

attribute as judge. Condemnation is

another one. Let's look at condemnation

as uh an incommunicable attribute for a

second. I've got a verse that I want to

show you this because it's we're

commanded not to condemn others. God

does condemn people. So, it is true that

God does not forgive people until they

repent. And that for for God as judge,

uh repentance is a condition on

forgiveness. I believe that with all my

heart. I teach that constantly. That's

true. But what's being said is that that

kind of not forgiving people don't

repent is something that can be

communicated from God to us. but it

really isn't and it should be obvious.

Okay, so I think it's um was it Luke

Luke 6:37

6:37? Yeah, Luke. We're at Luke 6:37. If

Luke 6:37

you guys can put that judge not and you

will not be judged. Condemn not and you

will not be condemned. Forgive and you

will be forgiven. Okay, so we are not to

copy God's role as the condemmer and

judge of all the earth. Right? I don't

mean he condemns all the earth but he is

the one who has the role to either save

or condemn. He is the judge and we are

not. Okay, you can see how this isn't

splitting hairs but it does take some

discernment and learning because there

are other passages where we are told to

judge what is right and what is wrong.

We call that discernment judgment. Uh

you're going to be living a life of

foolish pain if you don't ever discern

judge. Right? You'll also be living a

life of pain if you constantly judge

others because people do not want to be

around you when you're judgmental in

that way. Okay? So, at the very least,

there is a judgment we are not to

participate that is not wrong

participate in that is not wrong for God

to do. It's not communicable. Neither is

condemnation. So, what kind of

forgiveness does God give? Let's look at

other differences and how it's not uh

copiable. When God forgives a human

being, he forgives them for all

eternity. He forgives them for all

eternity. That's because God alone has

the authority to forgive people. If God

forgives you, you are forgiven no matter

what anybody says. It's the most

wonderful thing to be forgiven.

Weight of all eternity off your

shoulders, right? The fear of judgment

gone. It's just like a a a a picture of

a bright sunny day with no worries but

for all eternity. It's the happiest of

all ends and it never ends when God

forgives you. Do we forgive people

eternally? Well, in a sense, you ought

to not ever take your forgiveness back.

But I might forgive somebody who is not

forgiven by God. Can you just not

forgive people that are not forgiven by

God? Uh there's a lot of people who

don't believe.

Narrow is the road,

right? Narrow is the gate, hard is the

road. what he says. So, uh, and few find

it, right? So, if you just think like,

well, that so you can only forgive a

subset of people that are actually right

with the Lord through repentance. Well,

I mean, there's so many people that will

sin against you. It means you have to

constantly go around not extending the

action of forgiveness to people who do

that towards you, right? It starts

messing things up. Well, so God's God uh

God's forgiveness is determinative. Ours

is not. Let me show you that. Because to

say that your forgiveness is determined

as a human being is recognized even by

the Pharisees as blasphemous. Okay. So

let's go to I think this is um

it might be it might be Matthew 9. I'm

forgetting the exact place. Let's put up

Matthew 9.

Yeah, it should be Matthew 9. I think

now that I remember Matthew 9 12 2

through8. And behold, some people famous

famous story brought to him a paralytic

lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their

faith, he said to them, I said to the

paralytic, "Take your heart, my son,

your sins are forgiven."

Take heart, my son, your sins are

forgiven. Behold, some of the scribes,

scribes and Pharisees are always kind of

a group together, said to themselves,

"This man is blaspheming."

Blaspheming. Uh, verse five.

For which Oh, wait. Did I Did I miss

something?

>> Yeah, sorry. I skipped the first five.

But Jesus knowing their thoughts said,

"Why do you think evil in your hearts?"

Okay. Jesus knows their thoughts. Jesus

is God. Impossible for God to blasphe

against God. But they rightly recognize

that someone who's not God, because they

think he's not God, they're wrong about

that. But they rightly recognize that

men do not have the authority to just

absolve people of their sin.

See, Jesus wasn't talking about this

person having sinned against him

relationally on an earthly basis. He was

talking about his ultimate debt to God.

Your sins are forgiven. Okay. So, what

does Jesus say next? They say he's

blaspheming. Why are you talking evil in

your hearts about me? For which is

easier to say your sins are forgiven or

to say rise and walk? Without a doubt,

it's easier to say words than it is to

command someone to be healed. Without a

doubt. For which is easier to say, your

sins are forgiven, or you say rise, or

to say rise and walk. But that you may

know that the Son of Man has authority

on earth to forgive sins that I wasn't

just speaking words, but that they were

a command and an authority. He then said

to the paralytic, "Rise, pick up your

bed, and go home." Verse 7, "And he rose

and went home. And the crowds saw it.

They were afraid, and they glorified

God, who had given such authority to

men." Okay. The thing is they still

think Jesus is just a man. God hadn't

given this the authority to just all

men. He'd given it to one man who's both

the son of man and the son of God. God

alone has the authority to absolve and

pronounce forgiveness in that way. Can

you copy that? Well, if you start saying

things like, "Well, God doesn't forgive

people till they repent." You're

starting to copy incommunicable

attributes.

It's a pretty serious thing to act like

the judge of all the earth and say, "I'm

going to copy that." It's not a

communicable thing. Period. So, the

argument is already false. And uh you

saw it just made. This is Heath Lambert,

former CEO, I think that's the title

given of the American Center for

Biblical Counseling, which I love

biblical counseling, but this is a very,

very seriously false thing to teach for

a very false reason. You would

definitely be offending God by

pretending like you would copy

attributes of his role as judge,

condemmer, uh the just one and the one

who has the authority to forgive. It's

it's it's blasphemy to copy God in that

way and especially to teach that someone

else should. It's not communicable.

It's commanded not to do that in other

passages. Uh so let's continue here

because there's more to discuss. I want

to go um back to actually you know what

this is a little bit out of order but

another thing you ought to realize is

that pseudo-Christian hybrids like the

Jehovah's Witnesses who don't have a

saving gospel we call them cults or

sects uh this is obvious I'm not saying

something that ought to be controversial

or shocking they believe Jesus was the

archangel Michael a created being right

so heretics really um teach the exact

same thing for the exact same reason

all right let's if If Greg, if you have

it. Um, this is from uh jdub.org.

jw.org. So, josephwitness.org. Pardoning

with no valid basis is the title. God

does not forgive people who are guilty

of willful malic malicious sin and who

refuse to acknowledge their mistakes,

change their ways, and apologize to

those whom they have hurt. Uh, next.

Is there not more? Okay. Uh uh I think I

have it. Oh, okay. Yeah, there is. Such

unrepentant ones become God's enemies

and he does not require us to forgive

those whom he is not forgiven. Okay.

What if you are the victim of cruel

mistreatment by someone who refuses to

apologize or even admit that what he uh

or even admit to what he has done? The

Bible advises let go of anger and

abandon rage while not excusing the

error. You can refuse to be consumed

with anger. Trust that God will bring

the person to account. You can also take

comfort in knowing that God will bring a

time when he will no longer fe

uh that may burden us now. Okay. So,

Jehovah's Witnesses teach the exact same

thing for the exact same reason. Uh they

just add a couple things. And I'm going

to keep reading back from this section

on theology of biblical counseling. Um,

so if we could go back there. I don't

know if we got past the first page or

not, but let me just look at the slide.

First slide on there we are. Okay. Yeah.

All right. So,

forgiveness to someone who will not

Let's go back one and I'll start reading

again just to get the context again.

Okay. So, one implication of this is the

idea that God doesn't forgive people who

haven't asked for forgiveness or repent.

Uh, which is absolutely true. Okay. I'm

not in any way contradicting that. Uh

what's not true is what continues beyond

what we saw above is that God forgives

only those who have sought his

forgiveness through humble confession of

sin. Yes, he does. But that's an

incommunicable attribute related to his

nature and role as judge. And we ought

not, you ought to be scared to copy such

things. Uh if the model of our own

forgiveness is the kind we have received

from God, then this rules out extending

forgiveness to someone who will not

admit guilt or does not seem interested

in pursuing reconciliation. Second, so

we kind of actually I want to point

something out. If you're wondering

whether I'm giving an uncharitable view,

I started by giving the most charitable

view I could. I thought maybe when they

say not extending forgiveness, they're

talking about reconciliation. But you

can see it's very clearly differentiated

here. They're talking about extending

forgiveness and then pursuing

reconciliation. Two different things.

Okay. Um we've already said and the

elders teach and I teach you cannot

reconcile with someone who doesn't

repent. It'd be false to pretend like

you did. It's codependent.

All right. But what we're about to find

out is that according to this teacher,

so is initial forgiveness. This

codependent. Hard to believe this is

being taught. gaining the kind of market

share, so to speak, that it is uh the

official teaching of the American Center

for Biblical Counseling. Uh he's a

pastor, I think, in the Southern Baptist

Association. So, it's not all of a

sudden not as uncommon. I'd never even

heard it before, and now I'm looking

into it because someone brought it to my

attention. I'm like, "Oh my goodness."

Verse the second uh here, second, even

when someone is not interested in

confessing sin,

this is where I I don't always ask you

to pay really wrapped attention. And I

know sometimes our minds go in and out

of real close focus. Focus in real

closely or you'll miss some of the

point. Um when people are teaching

things false from God, they slip in all

kinds of little details that are

nuanced. You go, "Oh, what is being

said?" Um can we go back? Oh, excuse me.

Second, even when someone is not

interested in confessing sin, we

are not allowed to become embittered.

Ephesians 4:31 says, "Let all bitterness

Ephesians 4:31

and wrath and anger and clamor and

slander be put away from you along with

all malice." That's right before be kind

to one another tender-hearted. Okay. A

lack of contrition on the part of those

who have sinned against us does not

constitute divine permission for us to

nurture anger and bitterness. Totally

agree. We want our counselors,

counselles to think, feel and pray about

those with unconfessed sin in much the

same way we want uh them to think, feel,

and pray for those who have wronged them

and have uh confessed. In this light, it

is helpful to think about helping

counseles to develop an attitude of

forgiveness even when the offender's

lack of confession will not allow the

act of forgiveness to take place. Okay?

If you're like cringing, good job.

What's happening here is someone is

trying to split the inner heart attitude

of forgiveness away from the action of

extending that forgiveness to somebody.

Wildly false. Wildly false. Out of the

overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

So if you refuse to forgive somebody,

everybody discerning already knows you

haven't because that's the condition of

your heart. It is not possible to

forgive someone in your spirit and not

have fully forgiven them. And how could

you if you've forgiven someone in your

spirit then say, "Well, I'm going to

withhold it." Why would you do that? Why

would you withhold the action of

forgiveness? Well, let's go. This is

from a podcast on the ACBC uh with Heath

Lambert ask answering the question

again. Should we forgive those who

haven't confessed their sin or repented

of it? Um and here's here's more of the

writing. Uh but here's the third reason

this is important. The third reason what

is important to withhold the extension

of the action of forgiveness for some

people when they haven't repented.

That's the here comes the third reason

for that. We need to not undercut the

requirement that people who have sinned

have to confess. If we have an attitude,

if we have our attitude of forgiveness

flow out into an action of forgiveness

before that forgiveness has been sought,

then we undercut the need of a sinful

person to repent and their of their sin.

And that's not good.

That's not good. We undercut their need.

Okay, let's continue. Because he says

the same thing again, but with an

example. Because what does it mean? So,

we're trying to figure out what is he

really saying? And we ought to bet have

the most charitable view for someone.

What if they're just confused? What if

they're maybe saying words that they

don't exactly mean what you think they

mean? And it's like they don't actually

mean that, right? But we've already said

he's talking about forgiveness, not

reconciliation. And he's he's splitting

that forgiveness into attitude. This is

how you obey with an attitude, but it

ought to not flow in in action.

somebody hearing James like hearers of

the word only here right but also if

you've truly forgiven in your heart then

that is recognized uh by the Holy Spirit

and you've gained his power to actually

forgive and that person is indeed

forgiven on the vertical plane between

you and God you've taken care of the

most important thing the reality is if

you truly forgave someone and then die

you've pleased God even if you haven't

ever extended the action of forgiveness

now what's the definition what's an

example of the definition of the action

of forgiveness. So listen, he gives he

gives it. This is what we should

withhold according to him. That's why

when you watch on the news sometimes and

you'll see and just saw this the other

and I just saw this the other day.

You'll see a family saying to a

criminal, I forgive you, but that person

hasn't said they're sorry. They haven't

even admitted to the crime. To hear, I

forgive you, makes it irrelevant for the

person to confess. Just as true as it is

that we have a command to forgive those

who have sinned uh have a command to

confess and repent of their sin uh from

all involved parties including you if

you're the one they've sinned against.

And so we need to withhold that

extension of the action of forgiveness

until that person has done what God

wants.

He's really saying what it sounds like

he's really saying.

We are to withhold the extension of the

action of forgiveness. What does it

mean? Don't say I forgive you. Just

forgive them in the secret of your

heart. And if you say, "I forgive you,"

which is the extension of the action of

forgiveness towards somebody. You've

done something wrong.

You're going against the will of God

because he doesn't forgive until after

they've repented. You're undermining the

process of bringing to them to

repentance. Nay, you're making their

repentance in the future, if it ever

happens, irrelevant.

Think about that. I was thinking kind,

you know, uh

I have a devious mind that God is

constantly have to kill off. But I

thought, you know what? If that was

true, then I could just say to my

enemies, I forgive you. And then their

repentance of the future would be

irrelevant.

What a bunch of nonsense.

You can just say to somebody, "I forgive

you and make their future repentance if

it happens irrelevant.

How about grace coming first? Just like

the kindness of God came before our

repentance and while we were still

sinners, Christ died for us. Yeah, we're

not the judge. We don't have the

authority to decide someone is

escatologically like for all future time

forgiven been pardoned by the king. You

can't forgive uh someone their debt

against God. You can't absolve sins. no

human being. It's false when human

beings saying they have that kind of

authority akin to blasphemy. But in this

situation, the opposite of what is being

said is true. It's and and I've I've

seen what he's talking about, right? He

calls it wrong. I call it beautiful and

faithful and sacrificial. I watched a

man um looked kind of like me, but all

of his hair turned white, wearing a bow

tie, and he was a milder mannered man

than me. And I just say that because I

think that cut me to the heart more that

he was having to experience this horror.

A criminal, a guy had murdered his son

premeditatedly in cold blood. And he

said, uh, listen,

I want you to know that while I am so

grieved and in so much pain for the loss

of my son, and while I believe what you

did was heinous and inexcusable, I

forgive you. The guy his legs started

shaking, his head started shaking, and

he started to weep because that is how

powerful the grace, the unmmerited grace

of God that goes before.

I mean, isn't it not manipulative to be

like, "Well, in my heart, I forgive

them, but I'm not going to tell them

because then I'll manipulate them into

repenting later." The destructiveness of

saying this, I can't tell you how many

times in really important relationships

people have acted like my brother has

acted and how many times the Holy Spirit

has used

his own conviction of me to ask for

forgiveness or be humble first to soften

the other person. Also consider this.

Who causes people to repent? You or the

Holy Spirit, right? You know how like

toothpaste has an active ingredient or

like neosporin as an active ingredient?

The the uh there's like the petroleum

jelly. You're like the petroleum jelly

on that, right? That has the active

ingredient in it. You're not the active

ingredient. The Holy Spirit does that.

So nothing you can do or say, no matter

how good or how false, will affect the

Holy Spirit's power to bring someone to

repentance. There's there's nothing you

can do to make someone's future

confession irrelevant or or or uh

undermine the Holy Spirit's work. That

doesn't mean you can't sin against the

Holy Spirit. When you don't forgive

someone, you grieve him. When you

withhold any kind of forgiveness,

whether it's an attitude or the

extension of the action of forgiveness,

right? I mock it because it's worthy of

being mocked. Uh, so what you you have

no bearing on whether the Holy Spirit

decides to continue convicting him. But

if that was true, what you do when you

say, "I forgive you." Let's go back to

Erica Kirk. What Erica Kirk did when she

in tears and I was in tears listening to

her when she was in tears and said,

"Tyler Robinson, I forgive you." SHE

SHUT OFF THE HOLY SPIRIT'S POWER TO

CAUSE HIM to repent, didn't she?

She may Tyler Robbins's future potential

repentance, which might happen. And he

still deserves a death penalty, but he

will be in heaven if he's forgiven

because God has the authority to forgive

murderers, too.

Well, she just undermined all of that,

working actively against the will of the

Lord. Listen, if if you agree with that,

this is the wrong church for you. This

is the wrong Go to Kingdom Hall up there

where they teach that kind of nonsense.

I'm not joking. This is like shepherd

staff kind of stuff. I can't imagine.

This is just as wicked as that servant

to say these kinds of things. And it's

in the ACBC. It's in the Southern

Baptist Association. It's starting to

get a market share. I thought I would

think that in our church be before I

gave you the context that most of you

are like I don't think I could ever be

convinced that um that sometimes it's

the will of God for us to withhold the

extension of the action of forgiveness

against somebody. Right? Well, lots of

Christians are being convinced of this.

Lots of counselors are being convinced

of this. I'm not saying everyone in the

ACBC agrees with this. I actually have

friends that are partnered with ACBC. I

think partnered I use that term loosely.

I'm not sure what the partnership is

that that also disagree like I do with

this and and find it really wrong.

Right? I mean just one more point. I

know we're we're at time here, but just

one more point real quick and then a

final scripture and a call for you to

forgive everyone from your heart without

condition and be free. There's no way

you can forgive someone in your heart

and then intentionally withhold the

extension of the actions and also not be

bitter, right? It's just a bunch of

nonsense.

Um, and it's just a bunch of

justification of manipulating people and

like holding them accountable. It just

leads to works righteousness, right? I

didn't know that Jehovah's Witness

taught us this. It sounded so works

righteousness. And since Jesus is not

God, there is only works righteousness

because it's just some being that paid

for your sin. He doesn't have the value

for that. So there's no real atonement.

So all you have left is being good. I

knew that about them. So I was like, I

wonder if I just guessed. Wonder if they

teach it. And lo and behold, they do

because it's full of works

righteousness. It has to be. Uh but

consider this. We're to commend

ourselves by the open statement of the

truth. And so the truth in your heart is

that you've forgiven someone, but you

better not tell them. It's akin to

practicing deception to intentionally

not tell someone what's true, right? And

still there'll be situations uh where

like, "Oh, you think I've sinned? Well,

have you forgiven me?" They're not

really sorry. They're just mocking that

you're saying they sinned, but you

better not say, "I've forgiven you." Cuz

that'll just turn off the Holy Spirit's

power. Irrelevant, their repentance in

the future. Anyway,

I'll turn off the intensity here. And

let's go look at something absolutely

wonderful and just so powerful, a model.

And Steven's copying Jesus here. Let's

go to Acts 7 to close this sermon off.

This is Acts 7, starting in verse 51.

and Steven had just gotten done

preaching a very powerful sermon and at

the end a very convicting sermon. Now

when they the crowd and the Pharisees

and the scribes had heard these things,

they were enraged. How dare he call us

sinners? And they ground their teeth at

him.

But he, Stephen, full of the Holy

Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the

glory of God and Jesus standing at the

right hand of of God. Stop right there.

He's full of the Holy Spirit, looking at

God the Father, seeing him for real, not

a vision, he haven't opened up. He's

seeing the throne room and he's seeing

God the Father and God the Son, full of

the Holy Spirit, totally aligned with

God the Father, totally aligned with God

the Son. And he's looking at them. He's

making eye contact with the God of all

the earth. He saw the glory of God and

Jesus standing at the right hand of God.

Let's next one. And he said, "Behold, I

see the heavens opened and the son of

man standing at the right hand of God."

But they cried out with a loud voice and

stopped their ears and rushed together

at him. Then they cast him out of the

city and stoned him. And the witnesses

laid down their garments at the feet of

young a young man named Saul.

And as they were stoning Steven, he

called out, "Lord Jesus, receive my

spirit." And falling on his knees, he

cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do

not hold this sin against them."

And then, and when he had said this, he

fell asleep. He died.

I don't want to be particularly graphic

about violence, but just for a second,

imagine what happens when you have

rocks, fist-sized rocks thrown at your

face.

They're in the act of murdering him for

speaking the truth that could save him.

And he doesn't even he goes beyond

extending them the action of forgiveness

to praying that the Lord whom he's

looking at would not hold this sin

against them. A vile inexcusable pride

monster sin

they have not repented obviously

and he's full of the Holy Spirit and

he's looking right at God. So, let's not

say no matter what that copying God

looks like withholding the extension of

the action of forgiveness just cuz

someone hasn't repented. Steven was just

a human being. He's copying the Lord God

on the cross. He's copying Jesus Christ.

And you might say, "Well, he's Jesus. He

can do that." No. By the power of the

spirit, any human being can do that.

That's how Erica Kirk did it. And you

know what Tim Allen, the home

improvement guy, said he had not