Story Time - Jade

Um today we are doing story time part two, which kind of feels a little bit like it should lead on from story time part one, but it doesn't.

I'm sorry.

Um the idea of story time, guys, is that um I believe that our stories are really important to one another, uh to the world.

If we can tell a story and make what is written in the word of God a reality, then people's hearts and people's minds are going to be turned towards Jesus.

And um I was totally meant to look it up before I sat down here, but I was just I read it last week, you know.

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story, let the redeemed of the Lord say so.

You know, God has done wonderful things, continues to do wonderful things, is the maker of wonderful things, and uh and this morning uh I've asked Jade.

We've asked Jade uh who uh has been part of our community now for a little while, or it feels like forever, part of the furniture.

But um Jade obviously uh leads worship in our church, that means um you sing on the worship team, right?

And and you know, spends just prepares a heart ready to bring us, uh lead us in song in terms of worship.

But there is more to Jade than that, okay?

So if you only know Jade in terms of what she does up here on a Sunday, there's there's more to her than that, and we're gonna explore a little bit of that this morning.

So uh let me encourage you as we do that, uh smile because it you know it's not easy sometimes.

I say that uh quite regularly, but like encourage her as she as she brings her story uh and posture your heart, lean in um to what it is she's got to say, uh, because you never know.

The Holy Spirit might just pop something in your heart that you can apply to your life this week.

Does that sound good?

Should we give Jade a little welcome?

Woo! So I've known you, Jade, for handful like um quite a few years now, um, but I don't know your story.

So I don't know where things began with Jesus for you.

I don't know your history, I don't even know.

I've forgotten where you're from.

Like, she's not a Geordie, sorry.

Um there's a bunch of us not Geordies actually, so that's fine.

She's adopted Geordie.

Will you tell us like a little bit of the history, the background of of where you you come from and who you are and how things started out for you?

I'll stop talking.

Go!

Hello, so oh thank you for having me here.

It's so lush.

Um so I am from a lovely county called Lincolnshire.

Um my accent is totally just messed up, so so don't even try to pick out one.

I was born in Lincoln.

Then three months, three months old, I was taken into foster care um by my incredible parents who I have now.

Um obviously things weren't great at home, and we'll go more into that later.

Um, my parents took me and my four siblings in.

They already had three of their own.

And then when I was five, they adopted me and I became part of their incredible family.

They just oh, they just love Jesus, and it's so evident in what they do that they love Jesus.

Um, so I grew up in a Christian household.

Um, I went to church every Sunday, but it was we we used to go to a little camp.

Well, say little, it's quite a big camp, um called Spring Harvest.

I don't know if any of you know about that.

Um it's it was a good old butlins, loved it.

And it was there that I I decided um for myself to follow Jesus.

Can I ask what year that was?

Um 2005.

Okay.

I was 11, 2005.

Um and I was at this um, I was in the like 11 to 14s group.

No, no, it wasn't, it was the 8 to 11s group because it was Dave Godfrey, my good pal, Gav's Gav's good friend, Dave Godfrey.

I actually think Gav was playing keys the night that I became a Christian, which is incredible.

And then I met him like seven years later.

For everyone, if you want to be safe, just get Gav to play keys, you'll be fine.

So, yeah, and I had this incredible moment um with the Lord that I'd never experienced, and just this incredible peace came over me.

I actually kind of dropped to the floor, I was kind of out of it for for a little bit, um, and it was this peace that I just had never felt.

And even at 11, I can remember it, and I just looking back, it was way beyond my years there, what I experienced, but but that's how God works.

He just He just meets you where you are, and He gave me this incredible peace.

Um, and I decided that I just wanted to know more about this Jesus, and I wanted it not just to be part of my schedule or part of my family's routine.

Um that yeah, I gave my life to the Lord.

So that's just kind of the beginning of things, um, how it all started.

Um just go on.

Didn't didn't like um so if that's I know that that that's just the start, really, isn't it?

So tell us like so you've you've committed your heart to Jesus, it's more than just what my family has brought me up to believe.

This is now personal.

Yeah, what happens next.

Okay, so what happened next?

So what happened was um I think because of that incredible peace I felt as such a young girl, bearing in mind where I started out and how my life should have looked, the enemy didn't want that to continue.

Um so you know, I found this incredible peace in Jesus, and then and then it was from then on that things in my life, things in my world started to change.

Um and it wasn't for the better, you know.

Sometimes people have this incredible story where they meet Jesus and then that's it.

It's it's wow, everything's wonderful.

Mine's a little bit different where I met Jesus.

Um He gave me He gave me that peace, but then Yeah, the enemy didn't want that.

He did not want that on my life, and he came and he tried he tried to destroy it.

So my I I told you that I'm adopted.

Um after me, my parents then took on three more children.

Um one of my one sister, um she was very autistic, and the my brother um had ADHD and learning difficulties.

So our life changed anyway.

We we we you know we didn't know how it was going to look, and and things changed.

Um and then they also took on a a girl with she had a lot of well she was she when she came to us, she was she was pretty okay, but then she she became very poorly and she ended up having a massive bleed on the brain and she became brain damaged.

And but then we took her on and we cared for it, and she was the most amazing girl ever.

But my siblings, my my birth siblings, sorry, they they grew all up, grew older.

Um, and this is why I know it was it was the timing because when I was 12, so you know, not even a year later, um, my eldest sister who I loved and cherished and thought the world of, she just left home, she ran away from home, um, turned my world upside down.

Um I just thought, well, she doesn't love me anymore.

Um she got back in touch with my well, her birth father, um and and just became very hostile.

Um and and long story short, all four of my siblings did the same thing over the the next few years.

Um and I just wow, I just thought my own birth parents didn't love me, and now my siblings don't want to be with me, and oh, it just set up this whole kind of uh new identity that God didn't want for me, but it was you're not loved.

Um people leave, they don't want to be with you.

Um I became very fearful as fear overtook my life.

You know, I still I I was still Christian, I still had the fear of God.

I made the right choices in life, but I didn't trust him anymore.

Um and and I let well the enemy got a foothold with this fear and it and it took over my life.

I became so afraid of men.

Um so as a child, we we actually had to move from Lincoln into a small rural town called Market Raisin because um the birth father of some of my siblings was kind of waiting for us outside of school and he was parking up um outside the house and it just became really dangerous.

He, you know, he's he's a dangerous guy, he's he's on the offenders list, he's not a good guy.

Um so when this man came back into our life through my my siblings, I just was terrified, you know, it was a 12-year-old, 13-year-old girl, that men were gonna hurt me.

And I just I could not trust, and all my days, it took so long for me to be able to trust men.

Um I would walk down the street, and if I saw a man walking towards me, I had I would have to cross over the road.

Um, I wouldn't go out.

I lived, I lived in quite a rural town, so if you wanted to get anywhere, you had to get on a bus or a train.

But oh my days couldn't do that.

That was terrifying.

Um, because I might there might be men there.

I was just so frightened.

Um I had the fear of rejection, you know.

You always think the people who you're born to or the people who are your your blood relatives would just have this natural bond with you, and they just they didn't.

They saw me, they saw me as well, just the wrong kind.

I didn't fit in, I was the wrong kind.

Um, you know, I wanted to please my parents, I I wanted to to do the right things, and and it something that was good about me was taken so negatively, and they they just oh they hated me and it was awful, and then they they left.

Um so then I I was terrified of people not liking me.

I was terrified that I would never be loved.

You know, my parents love me unconditionally.

My my my adoptive parents are the the most incredible, so please don't think I'm talking about them.

I'm I'm talking about my my siblings.

Uh fear of abandonment, and then that turned of the fear, I had a fear of how I looked.

I thought I was ugly, I thought I was fat, um, I struggled with bulimia for a bit of time.

I just hated myself because I just thought, well, if if the people who are meant to love me can't love me, then then who's gonna, who's gonna?

Um and then this fear just built and built.

I became terrified of being involved in an accident or um an attack of some sort or a catastrophe.

I would I would go to bed with these nightmares.

Um and and it just the reason why I wanted to show you that is because I just believed that that sometimes when when you allow this little seed of something, something bad or something fearful in it, and you allow it to water, it just grows, and then all these wild things come out of it.

Um you know, it wasn't because all this happened, it wasn't because I didn't love the Lord, it was because I allowed the enemy to get a foothold.

I wasn't trusting God in every situation that we talked about this morning.

I just wasn't bringing my situation to him.

I didn't even tell my parents this at the time.

You know, they knew I was timid, they knew I was fearful, um, but I was doing all the right things, and and they were dealing with so much hurt and pain, and I just couldn't add to that.

And I and so I kept this for a long time.

Um, I was allowing fear and doubt to set in, and the enemy was winning.

My fear of God, like I said, was still there because I, you know, I I just didn't trust him.

I chose the right path, but I didn't choose it for him.

I just thought, oh, I need to do this, it's the right thing to do.

But that saved me.

That saved me.

Having that in the back of my mind, having that that fear of God where I just I knew I couldn't quite trust him yet, but I knew that I needed to do right by him.

But that was that thought in my head was him, it was his hand on my life because my days, I could have so easily gone with my siblings, I could have so easily got into the things that they were doing because it was actually the easier choice at the time.

Um but God, but God, um, his hand has been on my life.

Oh, so much, so much.

He gave me the most incredible parents.

You know, I I can't even tell you, I haven't got time to tell you what my parents have been through with, you know, with with children.

Um you know, taking children on, and then it wasn't even just that they left, they would then make, you know, they made allegations against my parents, which were just lies.

Um it was a very stressful time.

I don't want to dwell too much on the negative.

Um, but God, what what I really want you to take from today is that God doesn't always come in and miraculously make this incredible change that you never turn back, you know, because we are we are we are fallen people and we struggle and and God knows that, but he has his hand on you all the time, whether you know it or not.

And I didn't know it at the time, I really didn't know it at the time, but when I look back, his hand has just been on my life the whole time, and and he sends people.

When Matt was talking about, you know, we are not meant to live life on our own, and God sends you people, and this is where my testimony really begins.

Okay, so I went to, I did, I did all the right things, you know.

I I got into university, which is actually quite quite a rare thing for someone who who's been through the care system, it can actually be quite a rare thing.

So I was so proud I got into university, but I was terrified all my days, I was terrified.

I uh I didn't know what was gonna happen.

I prayed that God would just send me someone at university that would just help and guide me because I was I was you know worried about the kind of the nightlife, what was gonna happen, you know, I still had this fear of guys.

And then God sent me Michael.

What a blessing.

Oh my days.

So I met Michael my first week of university.

That's God.

That's God.

Something I was so scared of doing, and he sent me the biggest blessing on my first week.

Um, you know, I I got to I got to know Michael um throughout my freshers year.

He was the year above, he was the Christian Union president.

Whoop-whoop.

Um bigger up.

Um so I was like, oh, I'm in here.

Um, you know, we started we started hanging out.

Um and like Michael is incredible.

But Michael is incredible because he trusts in the Lord and he seeks the right path and he and he follows his ways and and he just, you know, he would I was scared of going to the student union, so he'd sit with me in my halls watching Disney movies.

Like, that's how good Michael is.

Um, he kept me safe, he loved me unconditionally, he taught me to choose to trust God in every situation, and Jesus just shone out of him, and I loved that so much.

I fell in love with Michael so quickly, and I think that was God.

Um and I fell in love with God again through Michael, um, and he's amazing.

Um, and so I started, you know, during university, I started to seek God daily, and that's when things changed.

If you, you know, you only have to ask Michael, the girl I was when we first started university.

I I wouldn't even, I wouldn't go out without makeup.

I remember him texting me one day to say, Oh, I'm at your halls and I hadn't done my makeup.

I was terrified.

I was like, he's gonna see me without makeup.

I had to put glasses on, I put reading glasses on so that my eyes looked bigger.

So I didn't.

That's how ridiculous I was.

Like I had to hide behind something and I chose glasses.

Anyway, I was probably thinking, What's she doing?

Um, but he loved me, he loved me.

Um, yeah, and I'm just so grateful, so grateful for that time during university where where Michael just, well, the Lord, you know, I'm gonna give Michael some credit, but it was the Lord.

The Lord was working through Michael, he he knew what I needed, and he gave those skills and those gifts to Michael to put into me.

Um, and I'm so grateful for that.

Um, and it's not, you know, it's not just Michael.

My uh my mum spoke this scripture over me when I was really struggling.

Um, and she spoke Joel 2 verse 25, and it says, I will restore the years the locusts have eaten.

Joel 2:25

Okay, and they're talking, you know, in the Bible, that's talking about, you know, crops and and livelihood and things like that, but when you apply it to your life and you realize actually, yes, you know, Elena was saying, when when we ask, he doesn't just give us what we've asked for, he gives us abundantly more.

And every single time the world has taken something away from me, when I have chosen to press in and seek God and trust him, because it's a big thing, to to just give it over to God and leave it with him, he has given me back abundantly more.

My parents, you know, I wasn't born into a nice family, but he gave me the most incredible parents, and then years down the line, he gave me the most incredible in-laws, and I'm gonna cry.

But I have two sets of parents I spent so long thinking my own mother didn't love me.

And now I've got two.

Thank you, Lord.

Three of my sisters and my brother walked away and I don't have a relationship with them really.

One I kind of do, but they just don't look at Jesus anymore, and they they're so full of hate and anger, and and I I really feel I had to grieve them like they died, I had to grieve them, and yet the Lord provided again.

He gave me Ellen.

Ellen is Michael's sister, and she's just she loves me so unconditionally.

And then he brought me here.

And I have sisters in this church now, and I love them, and they love me, and I know that I'm loved.

And that's God.

It can't be anything else.

You don't just walk somewhere and immediately you have a family.

My children.

You know, I had I had this over me that maybe I wasn't gonna be a great mum myself because of what came before.

And maybe it was genetics, and maybe genetically I I just wasn't gonna be a good mum.

And then before Samuel, we had we had a miscarriage, and I thought maybe, maybe that's that's because I'm not meant to be a mum, and I struggled.

And then when we had Samuel, I still struggled.

I thought I've got to prove I'm such a good mum.

I've I had this pressure on me, but God lifted that.

You know, when when our children were born, both our birth stories are incredible.

God just provided, you know, with Samuel.

Um I was in labor and things weren't going the way they should, and a decision needed to be made about whether to keep going or to have have a cesarean.

And um, and we really didn't, you know, they present you with this crazy list when they're like, you might have to have a cesarean.

By the way, this is what can go wrong, and you're thinking, oh my days, like I don't want to make this decision.

Um and Michael, as diligent as ever, just said, Let's take it to the Lord.

He took it to the Lord, um, because we just didn't want to make it.

And before he'd even finished praying, the nurse came back in the room.

Room took my temperature and said, ah you got a temperature cesarean, off you go.

And we were just like, wow, thank you, God, because we we didn't know what to do, you know, and it and that's you know, it's one of the reasons we called Samuel Samuel.

It means God has heard, God heard our cries.

You know, there was a lot in that pregnancy that was very difficult.

Um and God He heard us.

Isabella, the same.

We you know, I wanted, I'd had a cesarean with Samuel, I wanted to to try and deliver naturally with with Isabella, and and for two days it looked like wasn't it looked like it wasn't gonna happen.

We were really struggling, it was a long, long labor.

Um with I had had to be induced with lots of different things.

But we trusted God and we said, no, God's gonna deliver this baby safely, she's gonna be okay.

And he did.

He did.

I had a natural delivery, and Isabella means God is my oath.

And throughout my life, God has made that promise for me every season, every moment.

Um and you know, even after the birth with Isabella, I'd I I'd lost a lot of blood.

I had to have two transfusions, and yeah, I was still able to be that mother to her, you know, after years of thinking, I can't do this.

And God provided.

Um, and then just all my life God has turned.

My sister, who I told you about, um, the one who who was not very well, she died when she was 16.

And I you know, she was more of a sister to me than than any anyone else.

And um that was so hard.

And all I can say is about God.

God took me out of that place.

I didn't want to be here anymore.

Oh, it was an awful, awful time, you know.

But God, God was there, God brought me out of that season.

God gave me new life in my children.

You know, I always used to say to Michael, I'm never gonna love anyone the way that I loved Kimberly because she she was a special girl.

Um and God said, just wait.

And he gave me those kids.

And oh my goodness, um my my brother passed away a few months ago.

Um but I always say, I always say to people, what I don't know what people do who don't have Jesus.

Like, what do you do in situations when you don't have Jesus?

Because there were so many times that I just couldn't have done it without him.

Um, you know, I spoke a bit about my parents who had many allegations thrown at them that were just horrendous, and it and it took a real toll on our family.

And then in June 2019, they were awarded an MBE, like God, like from that, he took their pain and their sorrow and he celebrated who they were.

He said, No, that's not who you are, this is who you are, you know.

Um and then I just want to just want to read, sorry, I hope I'm not gonna answer long.

I just want to read something.

Um, you know, talk about the the girls in this church, they're incredible.

And most of you know Annabelle, who is just wonderful, and she she gave me um a birthday present a couple of years ago, and part of that was this book, and she wrote in this to me, and Annabelle at that point didn't know this story, okay?

I'm just gonna read it to you.

Never forget just how much you are thought of and loved, not just by us, but by God, the Almighty loving Father, the bright and morning star, the beginning and the end, considers you so important that he comes to tell me what he wants you to have for your birthday.

It was the most beautiful necklace, by the way.

Um what a privilege to be loved so faithfully.

The Lord has an extraordinary love for you, my friend.

That's why you embody that word love, like father, like daughter.

And for me, for someone, for God to tell somebody that, and for something that for so long caused me so much pain, the idea that I was not loved in the way that I should have been loved.

And then he gave me that as a gift to give to other people, and he showed me that if I trusted in him, and if I trusted in his love for me, that I could then take that and give it to others, and that's so special.

Um you know and and just in the last few years, where I am now, the Lord has just provided so faithfully to us as a family, um bringing us here, you know, under, you know, we came when Bert and Margaret was still here, and and just putting us under people who just loved Jesus so much, and then I stepped onto worship team, which again is something, you know, I I didn't think I was a very good singer, and I didn't think I could lead.

But I'll tell you for free, right?

This team and and what you guys are building has put so much into my life, and I'm so grateful to both of you, and especially to Judith, who is who is just a beautiful friend to me, and Matt, you're great as well, too, don't worry.

But we all love she's we know you love Judith, but she just encourages and blesses me so much, and and especially within worship team and and singing alongside her, and then you know, I I was when I was pregnant um with Isabella, I wanted to stay on team.

I was like, I'm gonna stay on team.

But I was really poorly and I kept fainting.

And Matt was like, no, probably not, but I was like, but then I still kept coming on, and then he was like, he had to tell me to come off team, and I was struggling so much, and I was like, Oh Lord, why am I struggling so much that I'm not on worship team?

And he clearly said to me, He said, Because it's not what you do, it's who you are.

You are a worshiper, and this is what this church has taught me that where you where your giftings are and where you serve, if you bring them before the Lord and if you if you honor him with them, it becomes who you are, it just becomes a part of you.

My voice, honestly, is from the Lord, and I don't say that to say like, oh, it's really good, because I don't believe that it's me, I don't believe that it's from me, and I don't believe that it's me.

And I since I came on this team and since I I dedicated my worship to God and and brought it to Him, my voice is so much better.

You know, I've got recordings of how I used to sound, and you know, but God, God did that, God developed me.

And and our encouragement to you is don't just don't just serve in church.

You know, find somewhere that will become your identity, that will become who you are, so that when you step in on a Sunday morning, the first thing you do is worship, the first thing you do is greet someone, the first thing you do is, oh, I can place value on this person by by going and and setting up the teas and coffees or or building into the children.

You know, we are one body with many gifts, and we and we don't all need to have the same gift, but it just blesses people, and it but it'll bless you as well.

And it's something that I've learned is is by serving and giving to God and and handing over, you know, it's easy to say, like, oh well, I'm really good at piano, or I'm really good at uh talking to people, so that's where I'm gonna go.

But actually, no, you might think that you're good at that, but that is a gifting that the Lord has given you and the Lord has placed upon you.

So use it for Him and it will build you so so much, and it will it will heal, heal those areas in your life where you maybe thought you weren't good enough, or maybe you thought, I can't do this, because serving in the house of the Lord is is one of the best things you can do.

Um little plug there, get on team.

Let's give Jid a little round of applause.

Well done.

Thank you so much for being honest.

Just quickly, because time's gone, you um I like to talk.

Please don't apologize.

I hear the story there of a life restored, the faithfulness of God restoring something beautiful.

And I'm just aware that there might be people in this room now who find themselves um faithfully coming to church, maybe reading their Bible every day, praying.

What advice have you got for someone who has found themselves maybe in a certain situation but is still waiting for the breakthrough?

Because I mean, even back at uni before then, all the ups and the downs of the journey which you've told us of, um it's easy to look back, I guess, in many ways, like someone right now, what would you say to encourage them?

I think.

Yeah, yeah, so it often isn't a quick fix, like I said.

Mine you're talking, I met Michael 14 years ago, and I'm still just coming out of my shell.

Um, and you know, this is from since I was 11, so so it's a long time, and like you say, it's easy to look back, but my advice would be just keep keep pressing in to what the Lord has for you.

Find your gifting, find what where you are closest to God.

Mine's worship.

I am so close with the Lord when I worship, so do that.

You know, if you are close to the Lord when you're taking a walk, or you're you're reading your Bible, or you're you're spending time with those around you, do it and do it as much as you can.

And get stuck in your Bible, get stuck with people around you who are maybe a little bit ahead of you.

I think that's what's helped coming here is you know, a lot of my friends are a few years older than me and they're one step ahead.

So they've got fountains of knowledge and advice, and and get yourself around people who A, you like, and B, you enjoy spending time with, but C who love Jesus and want to encourage you in that and just press in and listen, it doesn't have to just be your prayer time.

I speak to God all the time.

He's me pal, right?

We just we just chat, chat, and and if you are really in a rut and you're struggling, find someone in church that you trust, and let's pray over it.

Prayer is so powerful, but when one or two or three people agree on that prayer, you know, things change.

Come along to your breakthrough nights.

Let's get it done.

Let's get it done.

Thank you.

Come on, let's pray.

Father, we thank you for lives restored.

Uh Lord, we we give you the glory, we give you the honor, um, and we thank you, God, for well, that you're not done yet.

You're not done yet, Lord, and we we turn our hearts to you and we say, Will you will you continue to work?

Lord, we pray for those breakthroughs in our lives, God, and we we dedicate ourselves to you, God.

We pray, God, that your glory will be done and be magnified, be glorified in our hearts.