The Way of Community | Pastor Ryan Coggins

I think I heard somebody over here saw

thems on the big screen during that

video it's a big deal

Uh Kevin Love You Kevin Welcome To Life

Church my name is Ryan I hope you

enjoyed the worship today I know I did

and I hope you enjoy just the beautiful

weather out there uh I was telling my

kids this the other day that um when I

was a kid you you went to school often

not knowing what the temperature was

going to be that day like you didn't

have an app you had to work to kind of

get the weather a little bit harder and

so I as a kid I developed this strategy

that I I would understand how cold it

was simply based on how fast my nose

hairs would freeze and you just knew if

they freeze right away it's a cold day

if not you're good so I anticipate today

is a nose hair

freezing type of day um I do every once

in a while I look at the the town I grew

up in it's always colder there so it was

-17 there today I'm like that's right

it's only negative one here so this

Coastal climate here in Milwaukee uh but

it is good to be here today it's good to

have you here we're in a series called

the way uh Pastor Aaron is actually in

Bangladesh right now he's avoiding this

negative one degree weather he's

probably sleeping right now Pastor Aon

if you're not sleeping if you're

watching this thanks for tuning in but

it he's actually there with fire Bible

he's I don't want to steal his Thunder

because I know he's going to be talking

a lot about this um over the course of

the next year but a a really cool

opportunity has opened up in the country

of Bangladesh for us to go in and be

able to partner with fire Bible there

and so he'll be back next Sunday uh but

this series called the way uh what we're

doing is we're walking through different

things throughout scripture that Jesus

modeled for us they're things that uh

not only Jesus taught but they're things

that we should adopt in our own lives

and so the first week if you were here

we looked at uh the Great Commission

that we are to go and make disciples

what does that mean what does that look

like and so Pastor Aaron even talked

about what we're doing here at Life

church and we believe this is a year

we're going to see more people come to

faith in Christ than ever before and if

you haven't seen it yet there's a big

cross in the foyer that has little light

bulbs in it every time somebody makes a

decision to follow Jesus this next year

and lets us know about that we're going

to put a light bulb in there and so far

we already have 12 light bulbs just

through these first couple of

weeks every one of those is a story of

life change and we're going to celebrate

that this next year uh and then last

week we talked about prayer Jesus

modeled for us what it looks like to

have conversation with god even though

he was fully God fully man he said I'm

going to lay out a strategy and a model

for everyone to adopt and so we looked

at the Lord's Prayer uh and how we

should Implement that into our own lives

uh today we're looking at how Jesus

modeled Community this is something that

Jesus did extremely well uh Jesus had a

tendency to gather others around him and

so it's it's something that I know

there's some people in this room you're

doing really well at this there's others

of you that this is a struggle and so

I'm going to speak to both groups today

but we want to look at scripture today

of how Jesus gathered people around him

we live in a world that is increasingly

becoming more and more we call it

independent but it's really more and

more isolated it's more and more

insulated it's more and more getting

away from people we're living apart more

than ever before and the problem with

that is there will come a day each and

every one of us we will have times

multiple times most likely where we need

others we need somebody that's going to

encourage us we need somebody who's

going to just physically help us with

something we need somebody who's going

to just pray for us that we can call at

any time and yet more and more people in

America especially don't have anybody to

turn to in those moments I uh live in a

neighborhood that I am very uh glad to

be a part of because it it's it's kind

of like an old school neighborhood it's

one that you still borrow ingredients

from each other you know like I just I

like that I remember as a kid that would

happen frequently it seems to be lost

now but especially with you can have

stuff door dashed to your door at

anytime I don't need neighbors I'm going

to just do it on my own type of we had a

neighbor uh ask the other like a couple

years ago if we had any more if we had

any tater tots they were

out yes we always have tater tots have

at it and so I I like that community

that we're a part of we look out for

each other you know we'll get text

messages occasionally where it's like

hey your your uh downspout fell off your

house thank you I would have never seen

that back in the back corner what we

like sometimes it is a little ominous

because it's like did you hear those

voices in the woods last night

everything okay what no we didn't I I

wish I you didn't tell me that but uh

there's a sense of community in our

neighborhood and I was especially glad

to have that sense of community this

past summer when we needed neighbors to

step in and help now just to give a

little backdrop of the story uh we moved

into this house uh a little less than 5

years ago and early on uh we actually

had a gas leak and it was a big deal it

ended up not being a huge deal but it

was a learning moment for our kids where

we were explaining to them what happened

we got it fixed apparently on a Tuesday

Morning in Washington County there's not

a lot going on so we had every fire

truck and every first responder like 45

people came to be at the scene or

whatever but we were able to explain to

our kids this is what happened and if

you smell this if you if the carbon

monoxide detector goes off here's what

you do so our kids were maybe a little

bit amped up on knowing what to

expect so fast forward to this past

summer and uh I was gone Amanda was home

and we just had two of our kids I told

them I wasn't going to say say their

names okay so you'll but you'll figure

it out if you know my family at all but

uh two of our kids were home alone for

about 30 minutes okay Amanda was running

to the store real quick or running to

get food and was going to be back and

she said hey while I'm gone take showers

okay we always like we always strategize

there you got to do things that are not

going to involve getting injured you

know so like it's this is not a time to

play tackle football while Mom and Dad

are gone so just you're going to take

showers okay and so one of our kid get

he gets ready to get in the shower

turns on the water and the water is

coming out completely

Brown and he gets his other brother

involved and they're looking at this and

they're assessing what is happening

right now and they say that's a gas leak

right

there and I mean you can see the logic

of it a little bit like gasoline leak

and so that's a gas leak right there so

they turn off the water and go into and

I I we actually proud of them in this

moment like it wasn't a gas leak I'll

get to that but but you did the right

thing if you sense that something was

wrong so they get out of the house now

mind you one of our kids is just wearing

underwear at this moment okay didn't

take time to put clothes on runs out of

the house gets to the front yard grabs

the dog they're in such a panic one of

our kids actually like hit his back on

the garage door when they he was like

going under and trying to like close the

garage door and and they just started

yelling for help in the

neighborhood kind of operation they got

going on at the cogin house that's what

people are wondering what what's

happening over here but I I tell you

that because I was so thankful there

were two neighbors that stepped into

action immediately one of them that

texted my wife he only heard the boys

yelling for help and was like is

everything okay and she's like I don't

know what she called them she's like I'm

abandoning whatever she was going to do

she came right home in the meantime they

went over to my other neighbor's house

and uh again this guy answering the door

is like what what's going on here guys

this is a weird way to sell cookies in

just your underwear so he opens the door

and they're explaining he could tell

something was wrong could and they're

explaining what happened and he's like

you know I I thought I saw earlier today

that you guys got a a new hot water

heater and they're like yeah he's like

then that that's all it is the water

just needed to flush through a little

bit and I'm sure it's not a gas leak

you're okay Amanda got home right around

the same time calmed everything down

everything was good but I tell you that

because I'm so glad that I have

neighbors that identify if there's a

problem and are going to step in and

help we've lost that in our uh in

America we've lost this sense of

community not entirely but it's become

something that has definitely diminished

where do you turn when you don't know

what to do where do you turn where

you're like I I don't have any answers I

need help where do you turn when you

need encouragement the the Bible warns

against this type of isolation that so

many people have in Ecclesiastes 4:10 it

Ecclesiastes 4:10

says but woe to the one who falls when

there is not another to lift him

up I'm genuinely concerned about where

so many people are when it comes to

their community that they've insulated

themselves from others we're more

connected than others I mean than ever

before you take out your phone you can

you can reach anyone in just a second

and yet we're so disconnected in so many

different ways there's a a study done in

2019 that was asking uh different

Americans about loneliness and it found

that 61% of Americans identify as being

lonely 61% now if you look specifically

at Millennials My Generation if you look

specifically there it's 79% four out of

five say that they are

lonely 25% of American adults live live

alone which may not seem like a high

number but that's double what it was

just 50 years ago uh most Americans say

they have less than two close friends

and a lot of this there's a lot of

reasons for this increased Mobility uh

people move every three years on average

can you believe that that sounds like a

nightmare to me every three years

getting a moving truck and everything

involved with that but there there's

they not time there's not time to build

community when there's that much

turnover happening modern conveniences I

love modern

conveniences but a lot of them have

continued this trend even air

conditioning you know many decades ago

thank God for air conditioning but it

absolutely has changed the way we live

our lives that you know instead of

hanging out outside in the evening when

it was cooler outside you'd stay inside

you'd stay inside or garage door openers

you know like just the fact that I can

open up my garage and have a attached

garage and close the door I don't have

to talk to anybody that that that's kind

of I don't know if you've ever find

yourself doing that before where you're

like you see a neighbor out and it's so

bad but you're like I just don't want to

I don't have time for a conversation

right I don't maybe I'm the only one

that's ever guilty of that Amazon I love

Amazon but man the number of times we're

just out and about going to stores is

way down uh some of you don't know this

but

voicemail you used to have to answer the

phone like if you wanted to know who was

calling you and you didn't know it is it

an emergency is it not you had no idea

talk about anxiety that what what would

happen if we went back to those days so

you'd answer the phone now today it's

like don't call me Tech you ever get a

voicemail that says don't leave a

message I won't listen to it just text

me or what maybe you're one of those

people it's like we don't even want to

talk to each other and and social media

I mean we could spend an entire week

just talking about all the pitfalls

involved with that we're more connected

than ever before and yet we've become

very

isolated it's so easy to be

isolated but yet the Bible explains in

Matthew 18 when Jesus is talking about

Community he says that his very presence

is found in community if you have your

Bibles Matthew 18:20 many of you know

Matthew 18:20

this verse but it says for where two or

three are gathered in my name there am I

among them Jesus says that the very

presence of God Jesus's presence is

found in community and so the question

for us today is we know this when you

read through scripture and we're going

to turn to some different passages today

we know that we were designed and

created for Community we know that the

benefits of community and yet so often

we don't have it what do we do about

that how do I experience Godly community

and I I think like anything else I think

it's so important that we look back at

the original intention God's design for

Humanity and so if you have your Bibles

in Genesis chapter 1 I think so much

Genesis 1 · chapter mention

goes back to the Book of Genesis and how

the what was the original intention the

first thing that we see here is that God

lives in community if you're taking

notes that's the kind of the first point

today God lives in community there's a A

peculiar verse in Genesis chapter one

where God is talking about the creation

of the

world and he says this Genesis 1:26 he

Genesis 1:26

says then God said let us make man in

our image after our

likeness God is referring to himself in

the plural form and that's not the only

place in Scripture that that happens

it's a couple other times in the Book of

Genesis in fact in in the book of Isaiah

when God God calls Isaiah he actually

says Whom Shall I sin and who will go

for

us there's this plural form of God and

Bible scholars would say that uh that

this is in reference to the Trinity God

the Father God the son and God the Holy

Spirit that it's three in one and it's

not just a theological concept for us

it's actually a model for what it looks

like to have community that God himself

had Community Tim Keller a pastor and

theologian said it like this he says at

the center of the universe is a

community it is out of that community

that you and I were created and

redeemed the very center of the universe

at the very core of everything around us

is a community God lived in community

God lives in community which leads to

the second point which is similar but a

little different that we were created

for Community we were created in the

image and likeness of God therefore we

were also created for Community it says

it in Genesis 1: 27 it's the very next

verse it says so God created man in his

own image in the image of God he created

him male and female he created him

and then we go to the very next chapter

and at this point God has created the

entire world he's created all of the you

know the the stars and the Moon and the

Sun and mountains and rivers and animals

and man but he says something's not

right here something's not good in

chapter 2: 18 it says then the Lord God

said it is not good that man should be

alone Pastor Aaron says it all the time

but God addressed man's aloneness before

he addressed his sin before sin ever

entered the The World God recognized

that being alone is not good he sees

this in Adam we were never designed as

as as humans to be alone and I think

it's more difficult in our current

makeup in this current time in history

to understand that because for thousands

of years it was just assumed that we

needed community that we needed each

other every culture has been a hunting

and Gathering culture that would

organize into groups of about 150

typically and you needed each other for

survival you needed each other for

protection you needed each other for

food you needed each other for

everything it you know the whole phrase

it takes a village that that's how

humans have been for thousands of years

it hasn't been until the last 100 to 200

years that we've started to drift away

from that and sociologists have actually

done studies on the human brain that

when you remove somebody from a close

social group it creates a fight ORF

flight dynamic in the brain it can be

documented that that happens as soon as

that happens and today uh it it it's not

just life and death as it was you know

hundreds of years ago but it's a anxiety

it's loneliness it's depression these

are some of the things that come out of

removing somebody from a social group we

were never

created to do life alone we were never

created for

isolation once we understand uh how we

were created and designed that God

created us to be social people that he

created us in

community we can look at the model of

Jesus in scripture and that's really

what I want to get to today if you're

taking notes Jesus chose intentional

Community Jesus modeled for us what it

looks like to have

intentional community in fact the very

first thing that Jesus did in his public

Ministry was he gathered men around him

to do life together we read about it in

Mark chap 1 it says passing alongside

the Sea of Galilee he saw Simon and

Andrew the brother of Simon casting a

net into the sea for they were

fishermen and Jesus said to them follow

me and I will make you become Fishers of

Men and immediately they left their Nets

and followed him and going on a little

farther he saw James the son of Zebedee

and John his brother who were in their

boat mending their Nets and immediately

medely he called them and they left

their father Zebedee in the boat and the

hired servants and followed

him this is just one example Jesus goes

on to call eight more men um to be his

disciples and that's how he started his

ministry and I what I love most about

when you really study the disciples is

there it was such a diverse group of

people I mean you had fisherman which

was just kind of a blue collar Average

Joe type of a person and then you had

Matthew the tax collector he would have

been more an elite and would have not

been viewed favorably by the fisherman

he took advantage of people like that

then you have you know Simon the Zealot

was he was more of a rebel he would he

was kind of trying to overthrow the

government type of a person you have

this wide swath of people see Community

was never is never meant to be

Conformity it's not just getting around

people that think exactly the way you do

on every topic it there was a diversity

to it as

well sociologist Robin

Dunbar maybe you've heard of Robin

before but uh he did a very famous study

that he talked about the different types

of relationships that human beings need

that were were it's not just one type of

relationship there's many different

types and so you think of it in terms of

like concentric circles right around you

the first group is you need Intimate

Relationships that might be up to five

people uh that may be a spouse hopefully

it's a spouse that may be a a close

friend these are people who you bear

your soul to these are people there's no

secrets it's kind of like these are your

goto relationship and then there's this

the second ring of relationships which

are just friendships it's up to about 15

people um maybe you don't bear your soul

to them but these are these are your

good friends maybe it's even some family

members uh a brother or a sister that

are just genuinely good friends these

are people you've you know on vacation

with these are people that you hang out

with regularly and then you have this

next ring which would be your village

this is up to 150 people uh and that's

kind of where uh for for decades for for

centuries uh humans have organized into

groups of about 150 people that's about

how many people you can be in

relationship with and so this is your

village these are people you may not

know every single one of them but

they're people that you're connected to

maybe it's people that you go to church

with maybe it's your class in school

whatever it may be but it's your village

then beyond that there's your tribe and

these are not people that you all know

these are people that but you have a lot

of affinity with and so maybe let me

give you an example how many people in

this room you're Packer fans raise your

hand less than I thought ra okay that's

your tribe okay maybe it's a a I'm not

going to make you raise your hand on

political party okay uh we want to stay

connected here today but that could be

another tribe these are people that you

have uh this could be other Christians

probably everybody in this room you're

connected to that's part of your tribe

and and Robin Dunbar in this study says

you need all four types of relationships

and we see Jesus model this I think it's

so cool in Scripture that you even see

that Jesus had an inner circle he had uh

Peter James and John these are people

that he was really really close with he

would do extra things with them that he

didn't do with the rest of the disciples

and then you see his his friend group

which is really the disciples plus Mary

Martha Lazarus we read about a few

people like that that were kind of part

of his friend group and then you see

that he had the 120 uh in Jerusalem in

Acts chapter 1 this is kind of his his

Acts 1 · chapter mention

village so to speak and then you see

everybody every Christ follower beyond

that and that Beyond chapter 2 and and

on this is kind of the tribe these are

people who identify as Christ followers

that was his tribe we need relationships

at all four

levels but when it comes to your

spiritual growth when it comes to really

what uh the areas that we need to dig

into it's it's these first two circles

it's this the intimate relationships and

the friendships the question for you

today is who's in your intimate

Circle in this study uh by by Robin

Dunbar he said the average person

doesn't have anybody that they would

really say is in that intimate Circle

that's a scary

thought who's in your friend Circle we

were designed to have relationships in

both of those

areas so who's in those two inner

Circles of your

life and I know that you may be saying

today Ryan I get it I I understand I'm

supposed to have friendships but that's

more that's easier said than done how do

I find

that let me tell you just a little bit

about my experience here and um I'm not

trying to say hey I did this the right

way and you should do it my way or

anything like that but let me just tell

you a little bit about my experience

because I I grew up in a home that I

feel like my parents did this very well

they were very intentional about having

Godly relationships with other couples

and for us as kids to have with other

kids and so my parents parents would

often do uncomfortable things like they

would have strangers over to our house a

lot they did something called dinner for

six I remember it distinctly because

sometimes we would know the families

sometimes we wouldn't but they would

invite families over to our house and

then they threw all the kids in the

basement again sometimes we didn't know

these kids at all and said go play for

four hours and sometimes it was awkward

sometimes uh and they would then connect

with other couples and I can tell you

that my closest friendships over the

years people that I'm still in

relationship today came out of that

people that are now in Ministry people

that I mean I can just I can name person

after person that I was in relationship

that I met that I got to know simply

because my parents were intentional

about that and so when Amanda and I got

married I just knew that's got to be a

part of our life that's not something I

would naturally do I'm extremely shy I

was always a shy kid very introverted

but I knew that's that's what being a

Christ follower looks like I need to

model that for my kids someday and so we

moved

here uh about 17 years ago it's a long

time ago uh 17 years ago and we didn't

have any kids we didn't have any family

in the area we didn't know anybody in

the Milwaukee area uh really and so

right away we knew we got to get in

relationship with people not just

because it's my job as a pastor but

because that's what being a Christ

follower looks like and so we began to

look for Life groups to be a part of we

were part of a couple different life

groups and just trying to figure out you

know kind of who's who are the people we

want to run with and a couple years into

that we started to find some couples and

I'm looking out I actually see some of

you right now that we just really

connected with we were about the same

age we you know maybe had newly had kids

and so over the last 15 years or so

we've really done life with a group of

people here at at Life Church that um

love God that uh would do anything for

each other that we hang out not just

during life group season believe it or

not where there's times outside of Life

groups we've gone on trips together

we've gone on missions trips together

our kids have grown up together uh We've

prayed for each other many times we've

been there for each other during

difficult Seasons it's not always been

uh it's not always been great because

you know there there's been somebody in

our group that actually lost their

husband that we were there during that

season to pray with them and be with

them and I know beyond a shadow of a

doubt that if I needed anything that I

could call anybody in this group and

they would be right there uh again it's

not always been perfect it's not you

know I'm not saying it's not been

without struggle it it it took some

intentionality there's times there's

been times where we have you know life

group on a particular night and I'm not

feeling it I'm like I don't want to

tonight and it's like you kind of pushed

through that sorry if you're in the room

and uh I've all I've never thought that

of you uh no but there's times where

it's like it's not always convenient

it's there's times where it's like I got

we got a busy schedule we got a lot

going on and yet I'm just telling you

right now if you take time for

intentional Godly relationships that's

how God designed it that's what we were

created for that there's going to be

times where you need to rely on a group

of people like that to encourage you to

pray with you and so

today there's there's two different

types of people in this room uh there's

those of you who you say everything I'm

talking about right now you're like I

got that Ryan I'm telling you I have a

group just like that I agree with

everything that you're saying I have a

group like that praise God for that my

encouragement or my challenge to you

would be is there somebody not in that

group that you could invite into that

group oh I don't know about that I mean

we kind of got got a good thing going we

got you know or whatever I don't want to

throw off the Dynamics or you know I

just encourage you is there somebody

else that you can invite into that

Circle somebody else who needs that type

of

community there's others of you in this

room today that you're like I honestly

don't have a lot of those types of

relationships and my encouragement to

you today would be look around you're

you're in a room filled with men and

women that are probably likeminded in a

lot L of ways and sometimes it's simply

Reaching Across the aisle introducing

yourself that's why at Life Church we

actually do life groups I know a lot of

this is is kind of building towards

getting in a life group and that's

you're kind of waiting for me to push

that it may happen in a life group it

may not it may just be that know healthy

churches group together whether it's

part of a formal life group or an

informal group of any kind that that

part of it doesn't really matter we

simply do life groups to create an easy

onramp for people to try to organize it

as best we can and I get it you look at

if you you know this card that Luke

mentioned before if you look at all the

groups you see a ton of them I think

there's 80s something in there at

Germantown that there's a lot of

different groups it's intimidating it's

like which one do I go and be a part of

uh you can try multiple groups they're

they're only 90 days long and then

there's kind of a reset that happens and

it might be right here at Life Church

that you find a group that you can get

connected to and be a part of of I'm not

telling you you're going to just be best

friends day one maybe maybe that will

happen but it may take some time but

just begin somewhere begin to develop

that my other challenge for you

today is simply this I don't know if we

always do a a good job of just being

neighborly and friendly I'll speak for

myself I don't always do a good job of

that I have to be intentional about that

and I'd encourage you before before you

leave today find one person in the foyer

in the parking lot maybe in the foyer

parking lot's a little cold right now in

the foyer that you can just simply say

hey Ryan told me I'm supposed to

introduce myself to somebody you can you

can use that as your opening line if you

would want to uh but find somebody

you've not met before introduce yourself

that's what we were created for uh not

just coming here to worship God yes that

is absolutely part of Why We Gather here

together but it's also to do life with

one another another if you read through

the book of Acts especially chapter 2 it

talks so much about this it says that

they had everything in common now again

different day and age there's different

dynamics that were going on then but

they had deep relationships with each

other and I'd encourage you today if

you've not experienced that start

somewhere maybe it is signing up for a

life group and we got a lot of great

ones we got a lot of great leaders here

in this room in fact if you're leading a

life group this next semester your hand

how many how many life group leaders do

we have in this room lots of people in

this room you see the people with their

hands raised go if you see somebody

that's like I like the I like the little

vest they're wearing go up to them and

say I want to be a part of your group

what how do I get involved with that

just start somewhere and so today as we

close uh that that's simply my challenge

to you

today get involve do life with other

people I'm going to invite you to stand

with me today we're going to actually

close just by singing a song together a

declaration that we already sang earlier

and I simply just encourage you to join

in with us and then on your way out

again hopefully break the awkwardness

telling you I'm telling you just just go

up to people meet somebody before you

leave here today would you pray with me

today Father God we thank you that you

designed us to be in relationship with

one another that we don't have to go

through life alone

that there are others that are there to

encourage us and lift us up and build us

up we thank you for your church that we

get to be a part of and I pray for the

people in this room that do this really

well I pray that you'd help them

continue to do this well and even invite

others into that Circle and those of us

who are looking for

relationship maybe we're desperate for

somebody that we that can encourage us

somebody that we can count on to pray

for us I pray that you would bring

Divine appointments even today that we

would meet somebody that can that can be

somebody to to lift us up during a

difficult season God I pray that we

would always continue just to be your

church to do relationship with one

another to Spur one another on toward

love and Good Deeds just as your word

says we thank you for it it's in Jesus

name we pray amen