A Theology of Love | Dr. Aaron Cole

well good morning I'm Aaron Cole the

senior pastor it's great to see you

today can we welcome all of our campuses

our Appleton campus Brookfield campus

Milwaukee campus Germantown

campus man wherever you're connecting

with us from we are delighted that you

are here that you're a part and today

we're going to talk about

love can you say it like that a little

little Berry White just look at your

neighbor and say

love yeah for some of you teenagers you

don't need to say it like that it's not

right

amen now let me say this at the

beginning this series uh not so much

today but as we get in this series we're

going to talk about love we're going to

talk about relationships we're going to

talk about human

sexuality every weekend at Life Church

in the adult in the auditorium is

basically what I call

PG-13 and so if you have kids I would I

would encourage you unless you Lucy you

got a lot of explaining to do unless you

want to pull a Ricky on this and explain

some stuff then you may want to put

those kids in life kids number one

they're going to have a better

experience in in here but the second

thing is you don't have to explain some

things that we're going to talk about so

I just want to encourage you if you're

bringing guests well it's our first time

here we I'm just saying to you just you

are fully warned don't email me and if

you do my email is rogin at lifechurchwi

went to a church girls were little and

they had this deal where there was no

kids ministry that weekend and it was

kind of more they broke everything in

these small group type settings which

was totally different so it's like okay

we'll go with this and we're sitting

there with with Anna and with Ava and

and they're both in elementary school

and uh they're going to talk about the

woman caught in adultery and I thought

this is going to be

interesting so can I just tell you were

a lot of questions on the way home and

because they didn't hold back and I was

just like oh my goodness if I've ever

felt like kids ministry was valuable for

no other reason it's for that okay

because we're going to be talking about

love all right so the title of this

series is loveology and uh in the

beginning God created Adam and Eve and

ever since then we've been having

problems all right can I just say it

that way I know some of you y'all had

like Valentine's Day Love Is in the Air

you've already had a fight since then

Welcome to the Jungle baby right this is

how it goes and so in this series though

we're going to look at a Biblical

perspective of love and relationships

marriage sex and and basically The Never

Ending Story of male and female and all

of that that goes with that there are a

thousand definitions of what love really

means and I want to look at what love

really is today I want to look at what's

the power and the depth of God's love

and how you live a loved shaped life so

again this is going to be a topical

message which basically means this I'm

going to probably give you about a half

dozen different references the

scriptures are going to be on the screen

so if you're taking notes and you want

to write this down you can write these

down but we're not just going with one

passage we're kind of doing an overview

today as we're going to continue to dive

end this subject on

love first statement is this is that

love is more than a feeling I I know

this doesn't play well on rock radio but

it's More Than A Feeling right I mean

it's just more Than A Feeling first John

1 John 4:1

4:1 he says this this is

love colon so it's going to explain it

not that we loved God but that he loved

us and sent his son as an atoning

sacrifice for our sins this is what love

is not our love to God

why because our love to God is

conditional let's just be honest our

love this side of Eternity is

conditional it's somewhat transactional

it just really is but but love is that

God loved us and sent his son as a

sacrifice for our own sins so you can

say things like man I love God Pastor I

really love God but you also say man I

love

tacos right I love the Packers most SU

days I I I love my kids most days amen

um always love your grandkids can I get

a witness in the

house man grandkids are the reward for

not killing your own amen

amen the the problem is is that we love

so many

things so love has to be more than a

feeling it can't all be the same thing

and so love is both a feeling but it's

also an action love is both a noun and

it's also a verb and in the New

Testament which is what we're going to

walk through in this series the New

Testament was written in Greek and

because that would have been the

pervasive language of the day and there

are three different Greek words that are

used for love as you read

scripture one is

fil which is a deep companionship or

friendship it's where we get the word

friendship from it's filea or fileo

however you want to say it again I was

raised in Arkansas so I don't always

pronounce everything exactly correct or

so I do and you you don't okay however

you want to take that the second is OS

which where we get the word

erotic again I wouldn't have kids in

this room because you got to explain

that now it's a romantic or a sexual

love that's in scripture and we're going

to talk about that not not necessarily

today but we're we're going to be

unpacking

that but then there's also a word called

Agape now Agape if you've been around

church for a while you're thinking oh

that that's the love of God but but when

you get into the definition in the Greek

it's more than a love of God because

again the Greeks and of themselves they

had multi-g Goods they had many gods

think about Greek mythology and and all

of this and so it's it's more than just

how we would we we kind of give that to

God as Christians in the New Testament

but the truth of the matter is agape is

an unquenchable sacrificial love that

lasts it's an

unquenchable

sacrificial love that lasts if you're

takeing notes just write that down it's

an

unquenchable sacrificial love that lasts

every reference that I'm referencing to

you today when you go back into the

original Greek language and I checked

them all yesterday just to make sure

that I was on the right page went back

to the Greek New Testament read through

it that way I know that really sounds

smart doesn't it so any I can't

pronounce it but I can read it some of

it so welcome um but but they're all

agape so we're going to talk about filo

love we're going to talk about OS love

but today I want to talk about agape

love it's this unquenchable sacrificial

love that lasts it's not your love for

your tacos it's not your love for your

favorite TV show or or or Netflix binge

it's something that's deeper than that

so love is More Than A Feeling second

statement is that love is cross shaped

love is cross

shaped again Agape Love This

unquenchable Love that lasts this

sacrificial love Mark's gospel chapter

12 verse 28 says it this way and one of

the teachers of the law came and heard

them debating noticing that Jesus had

given them a good answer he asked quote

of all the Commandments which is the

most

important there were hundreds of

Commandments from the Old Testament

and he said verse 29 the most important

one Jesus answered is this hear o Israel

that the Lord our God is one verse 30 so

therefore love the Lord your God with

all your heart with all your soul with

all your mind and all your strength

verse 31 the second is this love your

neighbor as yourself for there is no

commandment greater than

these so both of the words here in this

passage are this agape love this this

unquenchable love this this sacrificial

love I mean visualize the cross for just

a minute there there's a vertical beam

and there's a horizontal beam this is

the easiest way to remember what Jesus

is saying here the vertical beam

represents our relationship with God so

when we love God with all of our heart

mind soul and strength that's the very

first thing that we're to do that that's

the foundation of our love why why and

I'm going to unpack this a little bit

more because the love of God is

uncondition conditional this is the

reason why it's so powerful because the

love of God has no strings or has no

conditions because just as we read in

first John that what is love love is not

our love for God love is that God loved

you and I so much that he gave his one

and only son John 3:16 for God so loved

John 3:16

the world that word so means without

strings and without condition there is

no one on the face of this planet that

loves you that way but God does and we

have this I know this sounds really

maybe cheesy and churchy and a little

corny but we've got this God shaped hole

in our heart we need the way we are

hardwired the way our our our our

knitting together of the very fabric of

our soul we need to be loved

unconditionally we desire that you would

really know me and still love me that

you would really see all of my junk and

and and and still accept me that that

that that I would know and be known and

love and be loved and and the only way

this side of Eternity that we get that

is this Agape Love This Love from God

and and when we love God with all of our

heart mind soul and strength we do that

not because he's going to return it to

us he's already initiated it do you

understand that that you don't have to

do anything for God to love you you can

curse God but yet he still loves you you

can be in your sin today you can walk

out of church and go that guy is crazy

those people are nuts they are

narrow-minded they need Christianity and

Jesus is a crutch there is no stinking

way I would ever go back to that place I

hate God I hate everything but yet God

still loves you because your story with

God doesn't begin the moment that you

come to faith in Christ your story with

God begins the moment that you're

conceived in your mother's womb because

the Bible says it's in that moment that

you are fearfully and wonderfully made

in that moment God makes no accidents in

that moment God chooses God loves you

and that no one comes into this world

and no one leaves this world without the

father it's this vertical

love and when we get this right then the

horizontal being of the cross that

represents our relationship and our love

one for another again in verse 31 it

says the second is love your neighbor as

yourself now you may think because

that's what I did I did a little

research is that fileo love is that

friendship love is that companionship

love no it's the exact same love that

we're to love God with I am to love you

with a sacrificial unquenchable love how

do you do that with church people are

you kidding me have you been to church

lately some of the meanest Junkyard Dogs

you've ever met

amen wow I can't believe he's saying

that you have no idea what I'm

thinking yes

because I don't love you because you're

nice to me I don't love you because

you're kind to me I don't love you

because you accept me or you reject

me I love you because God loved me and

because I have been given this love my

only response is to love you in return

so if you get mad and you leave the

church still love

you may not like you but I still love

you

amen if if you leave my life group still

love you I I if you're immature in your

faith and you're immature in your

Christian walk and and you you run me

down still gonna love you why because

I've got this vertical love with the

Lord and that changes everything and so

my horizontal everything else takes

place and so I love God with all my

heart mind soul and strength and I love

my neighbor as myself who is my

neighbor whoever is within the proximity

of my Orbit who's ever within the

proximity of my orbit my neighbor can be

you right now my neighbor can be the

person I'm sitting to next to in traffic

my person can be the person that I'm

next to in in a department store my

neighbor can be the person that I'm next

to in line at Starbucks my neighbor can

be can can be the person that's my

physical neighbor in my neighborhood or

my apartment complex or the condo

community that I live in my neighbor can

be the seatmate next to me on an

airplane that is driving me nuts because

they have both elbows out because

they're going to own both of those

armrests Oh no you're not you know know

what I'm talking about my neighbor can

be the person who's the jerk my neighbor

can be the boss who who is unrelenting

my neighbor can be the can be the person

in my downline that doesn't get their

work done and I'm constantly having to

manage that's what Jesus meant by

that you want me to take an offering now

don't you that's a whole lot easier than

like you really want me to love aape

sacrificial love see the cross doesn't

show us just how much God loves us it te

teaches you and I how we're to love one

another that's what took Jesus to the

Cross all the people that he died for

think about this for a minute the nation

of Israel they reject

him the people he came to die for they

reject him Isaiah would say that he

would be the Cornerstone that the

builders would

reject he knew it but he had to live

it he spends his life for three and a

half years and he personally picks 12

men but one of them completely stabs him

in the back and sells him

out all the rest of them leave

him there is no one at the foot of the

cross the disciples have left for their

life fearing for their own lives and

Jesus is there and they're hiding out in

locked doors and locked rooms and

undisclosed locations throughout

Jerusalem read it it's all there in

scripture Jesus died alone on a cross

and even God the father turns his back

on him something God will never do to

you or to me he does to his one and only

son because Jesus who knew no sin became

sin for us so on that cross supended

between Heaven and Earth he becomes the

physical emotional mental spiritual

manifestation of every sin of every

degradation of every disease of

everything and God himself because God

in and of himself is pure and cannot be

subjected to that turns his head and

Jesus Jus cries out in a loud voice the

Bible says it says my God my God why

have you forsaken

me why because he loved you and he loved

me while we were yet sinners what is

love not that I love God love is that

Jesus Christ died on the cross for my

sins it shapes me it shapes how I look

at love the cross doesn't just teach me

how much God loves us it teaches me how

to love each other the Third statement I

want to make today as I land the plane

is simply this love

does

period love does period a very short

very declarative statement subject and

predicate one word one word love does

first John 3:8 says Dear children let us

1 John 3:8

not love with words or speech but with

action and in

truth man I'm really GNA get to medling

you may want to take a moment just get a

cup of coffee

because talk is

cheap right I can tell you all day long

I love you but how do I show that by my

actions by truth I I I I I can I can I

can act all christiany on Sunday but how

I live my life on Monday that really is

what makes a difference My grandmother

used to say in church it doesn't matter

how high you jump It's how straight you

walk when you hit the ground that makes

a difference doesn't matter how great

your worship is doesn't matter it it's

it's how are you you living your life

what are you doing with your time what

are you doing with your talent what are

you doing with your treasure what what

are you doing see Jesus model of love

for us was humble we see him washing the

feet of the disciples he takes the

lowest the lowest most humble

position what if you showed up today all

dressed up for church and I say hey man

and I handed you a shovel and just said

I need you to do that sidewalk

I don't ask would you please could you

help me here here's the shovel go do the

sidewalk it's my first day

here would you come

back probably

not you've been here for 10 years do you

know how long I've been here do you not

have staff that can do

this

humility hey man we I know you just got

here but you dropped your kids off in

life kids I need you we got a to

overflowing can you manage that for me

right now hey hey hey hey I I I I know

this is but but I need to see could you

stay here and lock up today because this

what we got going on hey hey I

understand but can you show up early

because I need hey hey hey could could

you do hey I need you

to this is what we see with Christ it's

his actions it's the way he lives his

life it's he's

self-giving we see this on the cross he

didn't go to the cross for himself he

did not need to come and do this for

himself he left the glory and the

Splendor of heaven and he clothed

himself in humanity the Bible says that

he humbled himself into a man and he

humbled himself to death even death on

the

cross so he leaves Glory of Heaven and

Earth and he has to come to this earth

in the form of a

baby and he has to learn how to walk and

he has to learn how to talk and he has

to deal with with crime crying and

teething and all the things that babies

go through the Bible says that he felt

our pain that he knew what it was like

to be cold he knew what it was like to

be hungry he knew what it was like to be

misunderstood he knew what it was like

to be he did that because he no not be

but for us that's the model that we have

see love does it's compassionate when

Jesus sees the the the leper he heals

him why because he has to because it

changes his life because there's Roi for

him no because it's going to change the

life of the leper and he's the only

leper on the planet no but he's the one

that's in front of him God doesn't

expect you and I to change everything in

the world he expects us to do the next

kind thing he just expects you and I to

see a need and meet it he just expects

you and I to have a heart that's open

that says God whosoever and and this is

what I'm going to do Jesus's love was

respectful he ministered to women and

children in a culture that did not value

either

one look at the disciples the kids are

coming to him him and they began to push

them away and Jesus said no no no no no

no they're kids for such is the Kingdom

of

Heaven you see this is what it is love

does probably one of the greatest

examples of this is First Corinthians

1 Corinthians 13 · chapter mention

chapter

13 1 Corinthians chapter 13 and and I

1 Corinthians 13 · chapter mention

want to read this for you verses

4-7 that when we read this you're going

to see that you're going to know this

and some of you had this in your wedding

and you might have even if you were

superch Christian had it at your

Valentine's dinner

celebration yeah I am filtering so much

right

now love is patient love is kind it does

not envy it does not boast it is not

proud it does not dishonor others it's

not self-seeking it's not easily angered

it keeps no record of wrongs it does not

Delight in evil but rejoices in the

truth it always protects it always

trusts it always hopes it always

perseveres anytime you see a repetitive

word in scripture it's trying to get you

to understand and highlight

that now we read that in context

of and that's the same word it's Agape

it's unquenchable it's sacrificial love

but if you read it in the context of the

letter that Paul's writing to the church

in

Corinth it really is a

leadership lesson

if you read it because he's talking

about the Rules of Engagement for local

church leadership and how we should

conduct ourselves and how we should lead

our lives in our

Affairs it's not even really getting to

the core of marital relations or husband

and wife

relations it's really about how we

should live our life in the

marketplace that we should be patient

with other people that we should be kind

with other people that we shouldn't Envy

what someone else has it we shouldn't

become boastful we shouldn't be

proud you want to ask are you proud are

you boastful just look at your social

media

feeds every time you get a new car every

time you get a new house every time you

get a new you got to tell everybody

every time you have a bow movement you

got to tell everybody right whatever it

may

be

amen some of you give way too much

information wa we're not that interested

in your world

eat more fiber um it doesn't dishonor

others it's not self-seeking it's not

easily angered is that how you live your

life is that how you

lead you don't keep a record of

wrongs it's not transactional no it's

it's unquenchable it's self-sacrificial

it never Delights in truth excuse me in

evil always rejoices in

truth so that means you don't talk junk

about other people even if it's true

it's called

gossip

slander it always protects it always

trusts always

hopes it always perseveres Bob Goff the

great author who's really kind of become

famous in our generation for saying love

does says this that love is never

stationary in the end love doesn't keep

us thinking about it or keep us planning

for it simply put love

does Paul will go on to write to the

church in Roman Romans chapter 5:8 but

God demonstrates his own love for us and

while we were Sinners that's when Christ

died for

us loveology we're going to talk about

sex we're going to talk about marriage

we're going to talk about human

sexuality but before you can learn how

to love someone else you got to learn

how God loves

you before you can get that horizontal

being of the Cross

right relationships with others you got

to get this right some of you have

difficulties in your

marriage and you're trying to work all

the horizontal issues out but the truth

of the matter is it's the vertical issue

between you and

God because you get this

right then then the marriage will I'm

just telling you the marriage it is

impossible for two people that are

passionately in love with Jesus to go

into divorce

impossible well I know somebody I

promise you you just give me about 10

minutes and I will point it out to you

nope they were self-seeking they they

they weren't practicing scripture there

there is no way because because you

began with this self-sacrificial

unquenchable desire because it's it's

the commitment that makes a love last

not the love that makes a commitment

last because love is more than a

feeling right because there are going to

be days you're going to lose that Lov

and feeling it's gone gone gone whoa

whoa whoa right I've been married for 30

years like I'm just telling you there

are days that Tammy is not as in love

with me from this day to that day and I

know that's amazing like

how I don't know pray for I don't know

what to

do it's life but we're

committed where does that come come from

doesn't come from the OS love doesn't

come from this passionate sexual driven

love it it doesn't come from just

friendship no no no no it comes from the

fact that God has loved us and this is

what he says in his word and so we live

our life this way that we lose our

rights that we literally come to Faith

in Jesus Christ and we get this right

and Matthew 6:33 says when you seek

Matthew 6:33

first the kingdom of God and his

righteousness then all these other

things shall be added unto you when you

put that vertical relationship with God

right the horizontal relationships come

into play just telling

you so how is your vertical relationship

with

God how

is your relationship with Jesus maybe

today you're here and and you don't have

a relationship with

Jesus maybe your relationship with Jesus

has really waxed cold it's really just

it's like a candle that used to burn and

used to be hot and used to be inflamed

and used to be on fire but it's just

cold and hard and kind of a

mess today what I want to do as we end I

want to give you an opportunity to make

things right between you and the

Lord now for some of you that's going to

be a prayer salvation and I'm going to

lead you in that just a

minute and then campus pastors at every

campus are going to come up and they're

going to follow up and after we do a

song or whatever and and they're they're

going to kind of finish everything out

but for some of you it's going to be to

making a decision Romans 10:9 and10 says

Romans 10:9

if I confess with my mouth and I believe

in my heart that Jesus is Lord I'll be

saved it's accepting the agape love of

God in your life it's accepting the fact

that love doesn't begin with you it

actually begins with him it's coming to

the end of yourself and inviting him

into your heart and into your life and

being your lord and being your savior

and asking him to forgive you of your

sins some of you though it's you've been

working so hard on so of these

horizontal things that you forgotten

this vertical

being and you just been reminded today

man I need to say God forgive me God

help me because I'm not treating my wife

right I'm not treating my husband right

I'm not treating my kids right I'm not

treating my neighbors right I'm not I'm

not living this out and you're trying to

do it in your

own you're trying to work the horizontal

Beam without making sure the vertical is

right and here's the problem is the

horizontal beam has to have the vertical

beam in order for it to be

supported don't get the cart in front of

the

horse the world let me tell you this the

world will never make you rich on the

subject of love because all they're

going to talk to you about is a

horizontal being they're going to talk

to you about relationships and

friendships and networking and love and

sex and and M they're they're not going

to talk to you about hey get this thing

right between you and the Lord

because he's a Creator and we're the

creation and if we truly believe that

then the Bible is our playbook in which

to make sure that we are living in right

relationship with

him and then with each other it first

begins with

him telling

you you're having difficulties in your

marriage before you find fault with one

another or even before you become

introspective with yourself ask yourself

one simple question how is your

relationship ship with Jesus I'm telling

you I'm telling you I'm telling you if

I'm lying I'm dying it is impossible for

two people that are together in marriage

that are passionately in love with Jesus

to go to divorce court it is impossible

the greatest thing you can do to

insulate your marriage is to make sure

that you are in right relationship that

you have a vibrant relationship with

Jesus Christ that you're in prayer and

that you're in devotion that you're in

the service of the church that you're

together that's why what we're doing is

so important oh can you not go to church

and and and and and go to Heaven

absolutely I don't know why you do it

you don't have to take a bath either but

it it's really it feels good and it's

helpful to everybody else around you

amen but the truth of the matter is just

being together this is how I keep that

relationship right that's how I keep it

on that's that's what's going on because

you don't know when I'm going to preach

week in and week out and there are some

weekends I hack you off I mean I just

tick you off like you're just like I

can't believe it's the Holy Spirit

that's doing it it's not me you can get

mad at me me all you want to stand in

line look I'm not going to lose any

weight or any sleep over

it right I'm going to have Mexican for

lunch like I don't

care that sound good right now Cas is

anyhow but the point

is the point

is is that the word of God it's like a

sword that it pierces and it cuts you

going in but it heals you going

out the world's never never going to

stand in front of you and have a

conversation like this but God

does because the world doesn't care

about your soul they care about what you

can do for

them but God says oh no no no no no no

before there's zos love before there's

fileo love the Bedrock has to be this

unquenchable agape love that causes you

and I to

sacrifice not because we did it first

but because he's our example will you

bow your heads and close your eyes with

me every campus and in every room if

you're here today and you just say hey

Aaron I don't have right relationship

with Jesus I'm not in right relationship

with him I want to make a decision to

follow Christ I just want you with every

head bowed and every eye closed at every

campus just simply to slip up your hand

you say that's me I want to pray for you

am I going to bearish you thanks thanks

just up and back down thank you thank

you thank you thank you just have him

back down thank you thank you thank you

thank you anyone else thanks

anyone else I just want to pray for you

thanks here's what I want to do I'm

going to with every head bowed and every

eye closed I'm simply going to

pray and when I say Amen then the band's

going to come and they're going to lead

and and then campus Pastor's going to

come back in a couple minutes and just

with the decision that you

made maybe you're here today and you

just need to rededicate yourself to the

Lord maybe you're here today and you're

a Christ follower but you've been

working way more on that horizontal side

of of relationship and love than the

vertical and you just need to say Jesus

forgive me and help me maybe you need to

repent us some things and whatever I

don't know but you're going to have that

opportunity as we pray

today and as we as as as we kind of

close out here in just a moment with a

song

reflection but for those of you that

raised your hand for those of you that

want to give your life to Christ I going

to ask you to pray this prayer with me

and I'm going to ask everyone at every

campus out loud to lend your voice with

people that are praying this prayer for

the very first time would you pray dear

Jesus I ask you to come into my heart to

come into my life to be my Lord and my

savior today I am a sinner and I believe

that you are my

salvation Son of God born of a

virgin lived a sinless life died on the

cross

and Rose from the

grave just like the Bible

says I ask you take my

sins and cast them as

far as the East is from the

West come into my life and help me to

experience your

unquenchable

sacrificial agape love that your word

talks about in Jesus name

amen father I pray right now for every

person that prayed that prayer I pray

God for for eternity that was chosen for

people all across our campuses all

across this network I just pray God that

you would Lord let your joy that's

undeniable let your peace God that

passes understanding flood their hearts

and their minds in Christ Jesus and I

give you praise for this today in Jesus

name amen amen