A Theology of Relationships | Pastor Dustin Johnston

good morning Welcome To Life Church my

name is Dustin I'm one of the pastors

here at Life Church and it's an honor to

continue our Series today as we look at

a Theology of love in a series called

loveology Pastor Aaron last week kicked

off this series and we talked about um

mainly this vertical kind of love like

the the the love that is most embodied

in God sending his son Jesus as a

sacrifice for our sins so mainly talked

about this ver iCal love but then also

Pastor Aaron talked about this

horizontal love you know shape of the

Cross this horizontal love our love for

one another and today we're actually

going to go a little bit further and

explore this horizontal love with a

sermon titled A Theology of

relationships Theology of relationships

this applies to every single person in

the room because you have at least one

relationship although the sad fact is

you might not have many more Dan Cox is

the director of the survey Center on

American life he and his organization

have pulled thousands of people and have

discovered this that over the past three

decades the number of close friends that

Americans have has plummeted seems to be

true for every age group for every

gender for every race for every income

level for people in Metro and non-metro

areas living with a spouse or a partner

not living with a spouse or a partner

everyone seems to be spending more time

alone now it's something like 46% of

Americans who say they are lonely or

feel alone 43% say that the

relationships they do have are not

meaningful and this has maybe

unsurprisingly hit men harder than it

has even hit women the percentage of men

who have at least six close friends has

fallen from 55% in

1990 to 27%

today the percentage of men who say they

have no close friends so not not six not

five or three or two but zero close

friends was only 3% in

1990 it has risen to 15% today it's five

times

more something's wrong I mean we have

greater access to communication than

ever before you've got text message and

emails we've got FaceTime and zoom all

of our social media accounts yet we are

more lonely than ever before and that's

not the way that God intended for it to

be author John ortberg cited a different

study of 7,000 people over a period of

nine years and he wrote this quote

researchers found that the most isolated

people were three times more likely to

die than those with strong relational

connections at least to die early people

who had bad health habits smoking poor

eating habits obesity alcohol use but

had strong social ties lived

significantly longer than people who had

great health habits but were isolated in

other words he concluded it is better to

eat Twinkies with good friends than to

eat broccoli

alone I think we can all agree with that

today you can grab your Bibles and turn

with me to the very beginning today

we're going to look at a Theology of

relationships and I want us to explore

how relationships were created by God

and for God relationships every single

one of them were created by God and for

God the first thing that you can write

down in your notes is this relationship

ships are at the center of God's

plan not only has God eternally existed

in relationship is God the Father God

the son and God the Holy Spirit but he

at our very beginning designed us you

and me to be relational let's look at

Genesis 1: 26 and 27 then God said let

us make man in our image notice this let

us uh some theologians scholars believe

that this this us are the members of

God's Heavenly Court I read it as the

you know the first hint of the trinity

in the Bible God the Father God the son

God the holy spirit either

way there is this community of

relationships in heaven and watch this

let us let us make man in our own image

after our likeness and let them have

dominion over the fish of the sea and

over the birds of the heaven and over

the livestock and over all the Earth and

over for every creeping thing that

creeps on the earth so God created man

in his own image in the image of God he

created him male and female he created

them follow with me in the very

beginning God began to create began to

paint the the the stars in the in the

sky and the galaxies and the universe in

the earth and he said it was good he

created light and it was good he he

separated day from night and land from

water and said that was good too then he

created the stars and the plants and the

fish and the birds and all of that was

good and then God said something was not

good after God created man he said it is

not good that man should be

alone

notice Adam was lonely before sin ever

entered into into the picture this is

key Pastor author Theologian Tim Keller

actually wrote this about that Adam was

not lonely because he was

imperfect Adam was lonely because he was

perfect Adam was lonely because he was

like God and therefore since he was like

God he had to have someone to love

someone to work with someone to talk to

someone to share with all of our other

problems our anger our anxiety our fear

our

cowardice all of those arise out of sin

and

imperfection loneliness is the one

problem that you have because you're

made in the image of

God God invented

relationships as a means of fullness and

a means of wholeness as a means of

healing and worship relationships are a

direct reflection of God and at the and

it is at the center of God's plan we see

this at creation we also see this at the

formation of the people of God as they

were gathering together and deciding to

not just become a family but become a a

people group a a country a nation they

established laws to govern themselves by

10 of them are quite popular you may

have heard of them before the Ten

Commandments listen of the Ten

Commandments the first four are about

the relationship between you and God the

final six are about the relationship

between you and others all 10 of them

are about

relationship between you and God and

between you and others all throughout

the Bible there are countless examples

of meaning ful deep relationships you've

got of course Jonathan and David in 1

1 Samuel 20 · chapter mention

Samuel chapter 20 you've got Ruth and

Naomi in the Book of Ruth you've got

Paul and Timothy co-workers in First

Corinthians Jesus himself valued

relationships when he was here on Earth

he had the 12 that he did life with he

had the three Peter James and John that

he had a close relationship with and

then kind of his best friends that he

would visit quite often just to hang out

Mary Martha and Lazarus

relationships are and have always been

at the center of God's plan but if

that's the case why why do we have so

many broken

relationships if it's at the center of

God's design what happened to

fracture that

design the second thing that you can

write down is this relationships are

affected by the Fall not only were they

affected back then but they are still

affected and impacted today I feel like

I don't have to actually give you a lot

of scripture to uh Express this because

every single one of the US in the room

are products of um difficult

relationships we've all experienced

broken relationships we've all had a

role to play in broken relationships

some of us have been stabbed in the back

by a trusted friend or we've had a

friend disappear when you need them

needed the

most we've all had our hearts broken

from time to time

in fact relationships were only perfect

for two chapters of the Bible and then

everything everything went sour sin

ravaged everything in the world nature

was affected death was introduced and

relationships were greatly impacted

let's look at Genesis chapter 3 and

Genesis 3 · chapter mention

we'll just get a glimpse of it here and

then God said to the woman I will

sharpen the pain of your pregnancy and

in pain you will give birth

and you will desire to control your

husband but he will rule over you and to

the man he said since you listened to

your wife and ate from the tree whose

fruit I commanded you not to eat the

ground is cursed because of you all your

life you will struggle to scratch a

living from it it will grow thorns and

thistles for you though you will eat of

its grains by the sweat of your brow

will you have food to eat until you

return to the ground from which you were

made for you were made from dust and to

dust you shall

return that's not an encouraging set of

verses in the wake of sin everything was

broken there were only two humans in the

world at the time and the war had

already begun and because of sin

struggle would produce

Strife

jealousy

fornication adultery y Pride abuse

unforgiveness

Revenge none of these things existed

when God designed and created

relationships in the beginning but sin

fractured it all now listen to me

relationships are

good but they are not God they will not

fulfill you in that way they will

especially now that they are fractured

your relationships cannot save you and

and if you if they haven't already at

some point they will disappoint you and

listen if you're single in the room and

you desire at one point to find a a

boyfriend or a girlfriend or a spouse

and you want to get married that is a

good holy and healthy desire but listen

marriage will not fix you we'll talk

more about marriage next week but I do

want to uh marriage counselor Gary

Thomas said this about marriage marriage

doesn't solve emptiness it only exposes

it a relationship whether it's uh

someone that you're married to or a

friend or a

parent a

coworker a boss of course we know that

one to be true none of that is going to

like fix you none of that is going to

repair what is broken and they will

disappoint you every relationship you

will ever be in will be imperfect and

you will have a part to play in the

imperfection every relationship you will

ever be in will be imperfect and you

will have a part to play in the

imperfection friends are good but

friends are not God your spouse is

good not thank you I mean one amen right

like silent is scary right there guys um

but your marriage will not fix you they

are not God let God be God expect the

most out of every relationship but know

that sooner or later you will likely be

disappointed and you will likely

disappoint and that's okay that's that's

normal I me the Discord began back in

the garden in Genesis chapter 3 and it

Genesis 3 · chapter mention

continues

today but that's not the only news it's

the bad news but it's not the only news

thankfully broken relationships don't

have to remain broken

just like everything else Point number

three relationships can be Redeemed by

Jesus this is the good news today

relationships can be Redeemed by

Jesus did you know that a part of

Jesus's final prayer before his arrest

and his crucifixion was all about

relationships I'll show you in John

John 17 · chapter mention

chapter

17 Jesus said this in the middle of his

prayer I I'm praying not only for these

disciples his friends but also for all

who will ever believe in me through

their message that's you and me I pray

that they will all be one just as you

and I are one as you are in me father

and I am in you and may they be in us so

that the world will believe that you

sent me Jesus in one of his final

Earthly prayers prayed for himself

prayed for his disciples and then he

prayed for you and me and all who would

ever believe in

him he prayed for two things

specifically he prayed for Unity and he

prayed for later he prayed for love

unity and love that we would be unified

and that that we would love one another

and that we would love deeply sacrific s

sacrificially relentlessly that we would

love

you will never taste true

friendship unless that friendship is

rooted in the unity and the love of

Jesus I am not saying that unbelievers

people that don't follow Christ can

never experience meaningful

relationships but I am saying that until

you accept Christ as your savior you

will never know the fullness of

friendship and the completeness of

intimacy

there is something Divine about

relationships that can only be fully

understood or more fully understood when

you understand the love from the father

when you understand and have received

what only Jesus has to

give do you want those kinds of

relationships I'd encourage you to

follow the Apostle Paul's advice to the

Colossians in Colossians chapter 3 he

Colossians 3 · chapter mention

said that since God chose CH you to be

the holy people that he loves you must

clothe yourselves with tender-hearted

Mercy with kindness humility gentleness

and patience make allowance for each

other's faults and forgive anyone who

offends you remember this is important

the Lord forgave you so too you must

forgive

others Paul says a few things here he

says to clothe yourself with these

characteristics like in the morning how

you put on clothes this morning what if

every morning you woke up and you put on

kindness and mercy humility and

gentleness that just as important as

your underwear and your

pants kindness

humility gentleness

patience what if you put these on every

morning when you feel like it when you

don't feel like it especially when you

don't feel like it and the encouraging

thing is you don't have to drudge these

things up out of nowhere it is God's

grace that allows you to be gracious to

others you're a funnel it's God's mercy

that allows you to be merciful to others

you don't have to create this out of

nowhere you have been given it so why

would we not freely give it to others

yeah God gives you his forgiveness and

so guess what you daily regularly

consistently persistently get to give to

others forgiveness over and over again

when they deserve it and when they don't

especially when they don't because it

was in your sins that Jesus died for you

we have been given much and so we too

give to others look it is true

relationships have been damaged by sin

but they have not been destroyed your

relationship can be redeemed no matter

how broken it is your relationship can

be redeemed you can have a meaningful

marriage marage you can have a good

friendship a deep robust

lifegiving

lifechanging relationship it's waiting

for you allow me to provide one example

of a truly meaningful relationship in

our not too distant past most of you

know the names of the

friends JRR tolking of course wrote The

Lord of the Rings CS Lewis wrote The

Chronicles of Narnia but did you know

that the two were friends they were

actually in a writing group together

called the

inklings and they worked

together and the Lord of the Rings the

series the book series would have never

made it to Prince and the film series

would have never graced the Silver

Screen had it not been for the

Friendship of these two

men in this group called The inklings

they would get together it was a

literary group they would get together

they would write they would share their

writings with one another and tolken

began to write some fairly Fantastical

things he wrote about dwarves and elves

and talking walking trees and it people

thought it was weird and it was

right but in their writing group one

person CS Lewis was intrigued and he

told his friend to keep on writing keep

on writing there's something here it's

good tolken would later write of CS

Lewis after CS Lewis had had passed he

said this about his

friend the unpayable debt that I owe to

him was not influence as it is

ordinarily

understood but sheer

encouragement he was for long my only

audience only from him did I ever get

the idea that my stuff could be more

than a private Hobby

because of his interest and unceasing

eagerness for more I should never have

brought the Lord of the Rings to a

conclusion you might never know what

your kindness what your encouragement

might mean to someone

else the the next Lord of the Rings

could be simply behind a simple word of

encouragement to a friend and you might

never know it in this life but the

things that you say that the

encouragement that you offer just being

there and showing up can have a profound

impact in the lives of others

relationships have been damaged that

much is true but they have not been

destroyed you can be a good friend you

can be a good daughter you can be a good

son you can be a good spouse because of

Jesus finally um one last thing is this

relationship are for building God's

church it's the fourth and final thing

relationships are for building God's

church can look at another Paul of

Paul's letters in Galatians chapter 6

Galatians 6 · chapter mention

where he wrote whenever we have the

opportunity we should do good to

everyone especially those in the family

of

Faith this phrase family of Faith refers

to fellow Believers you and I

Christians and the Greek phrase for

family Faith conveys a sense of kinship

and

belonging let me ask you do you feel

that here don't answer just do do you

feel when we gather on Sundays When We

Gather on uh for for for midweek or for

Life groups do you feel a sense of

kinship and

belonging or do you feel further

isolated and

alone I would imagine if we poll in this

room there's definitely people here

today that feel the the kinship and the

friendship and the community this is the

highlight of your week and we are so

happy for that we try to create

atmospheres and environments so that you

can come and you can find those deep

meaningful relationships and you can

feel a part of the

family but I would imagine that there

are people in this

room that do show up every

week and maybe how

much more amazing is it that in spite of

what you feel the

isolation the

distance the

disconnect that you continue to show up

week after week after week because you

know and you believe somewhere inside

that there is something more and what

you're feeling is not the way that it's

supposed to

be might I

suggest that you're not the only one in

the room today that feels that way there

might just be someone else here in this

room who feels exactly the same way who

just wishes there was someone else here

that would understand them that would

reach out to them that would be there

friends researchers at Harvard and the

University of Wisconsin Madison did a

study on components that led to a higher

quality of life and here's what they

found people who say they go to church

every weak but have no close friends at

the church are no happier than people

who just do not go to church at

all the finding is that no there is no

increase in happiness simply by

attending church

weekly the author of the study wrote I'm

not a religious person so I was

surprised to see how well the

friendships in the congregation

explained people's satisfaction

I personally began to think about

whether I should go to church I know

that it would make my mother happy Is

How They

concluded you are not meant to do life

alone the Bible talks about this

Fellowship of Believers in many

different ways it talks about us as the

body of Christ it talks about us as the

family of

God the people in this room should be

they might not be yet but they should be

and Can Be You Are spiritual brothers

and sisters and mothers and

fathers this

means our primary identity as Christ

followers is not

biological it's

theological our primary identity your

primary identity as a Christ follower is

not

biological it is

theological and in this new family you

have a part to play a role to play

and both the breadth and the depth of

what God is doing in our church and in

our community you have a part to

play as a son or as a daughter A

Spiritual brother or sister a spiritual

father or mother or grandfather or

grandmother there is a place and a role

for

everyone in a world that is relationally

fractured where we are experiencing a

friendship

epidemic Jesus is calling us to

something deeper to relationships marked

by

Grace patience and sacrificial love that

doesn't originate from in

here but from God

himself but here's the challenge none of

this is going to happen

alone none of this is going to happen

past passively if relationships are

Central to God's plan and if they have

been broken by the Fall then we must be

active participants in the work of

redeeming relationships God will do a

profound work more than anything you and

I would be able to do but we have a part

to

play means forgiving even when

forgiveness is

hard when they don't deserve it it means

investing in others when it's incon

venient showing up when you'd rather

not pursuing Unity even when it's

costly so who do you need to reconcile

with

today where have you allowed selfish

desires to rule instead of

love what do you need to do to be the

friend or the son or the father or the

spouse that God is calling you you to

be I believe that the same Jesus who

once prayed a prayer for our unity and

our love for one another now gives us

the strength to live that

out because of Jesus your

relationships can be healed your

friendships can be restored and love can

be more than just a word it can be the

way that we

live I pray for you this morning would

you bow your heads and close your

eyes Lord I

Echo Jesus's prayer for Unity and

love God I pray that you would bring us

together as

one and God that our love would be

profound that it would be the love that

we would have for one another that would

help those on the outside to believe in

the truth that is preached here weekend

and weak out in fact it's how you said

that they would know that our love is

genuine our love for one another that we

know that we are Christ's followers by

our love for one another God I pray that

we would be

United that we would love God I pray

that you would restore relationships

today first between us and you if

there's anyone in this room that does

not have a relationship with you I pray

that right now in this moment you would

meet them

you would draw them to yourself you

would you would you you would

demonstrate to them that it does not

matter what they've done or where

they've been or what they've said or

what they believed or not believed but

you are here to offer salvation and

forgiveness and welcome them in to the

family of

[Music]

God for those in this room that know you

Lord pray that you would just bring

healing and hope and restor ation to

relationships God that you would give us

the strength and the ability to do our

part to play our role clothe us with

grace and mercy and

forgiveness so that we can extend that

to

others God we pray that you would redeem

relationships today for our good and

your glory in Jesus name we pray amen