A Theology of Marriage | Dr. Aaron Cole

[Applause]

I would highly highly highly encourage

you that if you've not gone on a

missions trip to go and uh analia and

Greg analia she I mean new baby and I

was like I went after she got back and I

went no one assigned you that right she

goes oh no no no pastor we this is we

wanted to do this this is great and I

said I'm sure you're uh your your grand

your s's grandmother and grandfather

your mom and dad John Heather Fields had

no problem stepping in she said oh

absolutely not my mom was a lady to do

so but but I just want to encourage you

I don't it doesn't matter whether you're

a young couple whether you're single

whether you're whether you're retired

wherever you are uh I encourage you to

go on a trip and to and to just missions

is not just taught it's caught and even

like this week There's a group of ladies

that are going with my wife to France uh

I know it's a hard life isn't it the

south of France that's what I said no

I'm just teasing but anyhow they're

going to have a great time they're

working with Kevin and noell Miller

missionaries that are right there and

there are other things that are popping

up and that happen throughout the course

of the year and even like the Wyatts you

may go coffee shop like how is that

missions well when you go into a country

that deems itself as communist and you

can't come in and just plant churches

and do then what do you do you do what

we call business as missions and so they

go in they have a for-profit business

which is this coffee shop I've been

there several times and then they have

English speaking rooms where B basically

University students right there in

Saigon or now called hoim men City

actually go in learn English and in the

process of that they're they're wanting

more and more out of relationship and

then one person tells another person

where to find food and that kind of that

process is created and and what happens

is people coming to Faith in Jesus

Christ and then they're connected with

local churches throughout the city that

are led by vietnames pastors and so

anyhow just it's an incredible way to

see missions from a totally different

place I was in the Middle East

in a country that is not you they will

if you're a US citizen and you're there

and you are leading anyone to Christ and

they find out about it they will

basically your Visa will be revoked and

you'll be sent back home uh and then the

people that you've encountered and that

you've been with their in country

they're the ones that are in danger and

but businesses as Mission are going on

all around the world There Are Places

and people that we support that we

cannot publicize that have amazing

stories that I wish we could tell only

eternity will reveal

but anyhow that's not my message today

but I just get all stoked about that is

that all right so I want to welcome you

today to Life Church whether you're

joining us at the Appleton campus the

Brookfield campus the Milwaukee campus

Germantown campus online wherever you're

joining us we're so delighted that

you're here and I am so glad to get into

this message today so if you have your

bibles if you turn with me to Genesis

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

chapter 2 Genesis chapter 2 excuse me if

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

you don't have a Bible it's going to be

there for you on the screen in just a

minute when we get there I don't know

what's going on with my throat all of a

sudden it just decides that I've got

drainage I don't anybody else have that

that's gross isn't it and I just said

that out loud give me a second okay

there we go so all clear we're good

maybe who knows man welcome to March

right right if you haven't caught

something yet just hang on it'll come

around all right I'm just saying it's

crazy what's happening so anyhow I'm I'm

good though I really am I'm good I'm

very good just look at your neighbor and

go he's good just he's good he's okay

he's not going to pass out if I do will

not be the Holy Spirit just trust me

somebody don't need to help me okay so

you guys are awake today good okay so

we're in this series on loveology and

today I'm GNA talk about marriage and I

want to go right back to the very

first where where we see a marriage a

husband wife originates God actually

performs the first marriage ceremony and

and does this together so Genesis

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

chapter 2 starting in verse 18 and the

Bible says this and the Lord said it's

not good good that man should be alone

amen and I will make him a make a helper

for him verse 19 so now out of the

ground the Lord had formed every beast

of the field and every bird of the of

the heavens and brought them to man to

see what they would what he would call

them and whatever the man called every

living creature that was his name and

the man gave names to all the live

livestock and to the birds of the

heavens and to the beasts of the field

but for Adam there was no not found a

helper for him so the Lord caused a deep

sleep to fall upon the man

man and while he slept be careful when

you sleep guys while he slept one of his

ribs uh took one of his ribs and closed

it up in its place with his flesh and

the rib that the Lord God had taken from

man he made into woman and he brought

her to man and then the man said this is

now this last is bone of my bone and

Flesh of My Flesh and she shall be

called woman but because she was taken

out of man and therefore a man shall

leave his father and his mother and hold

fast to his wife and they shall become

one flesh and the man and his wife were

both naked and they were not ashamed now

it's it's interesting because you make

go why did you do the whole thing about

the the animals and he named them

because every creature on the face of

the planet every Critter including man

himself was formed from the dust of the

Earth but not

woman and women I'm going to give you a

reason to say Amen in just a minute all

right so a little higher level right

then from the dirt can I get a witness

ladies okay okay there you go so don't

send me an email all right here we go

because I'm going to get to this swim

and submit to your husbands in a minute

so just hang with me all right so work

with me on this so marriage is Not a

Human

Institution marriage is not a result of

the fall of Man marriage is of Divine

Design it's of divine creation it

reflects the very character of who God

is and that's what I want to talk to you

about today now you may go hey hey man

I'm 14 years old like I only have one

chest hair at this point and like what

does this have to do with me take notes

because faster than you realize it 10

years will come and go and you will be

looking for someone that you need to

live life with a a a spouse a helpmate

if you would you're single you're in

college and you're like H I just got out

of a relationship and I just take notes

there'll be it

you are single and you're looking this

is going to help you you're married in

the middle of life this is going to help

you if you've been married longer than

I've been alive so I'm 53 I hope that I

say something that at least encourages

you and helps you or maybe this reminds

you that you could tell your kids or

your

grandkids but I heard it a long time ago

this young man goes to the pastor for

counseling this was not me and he sits

in the pastor's office and he goes son

how can I help you and he said well you

know I've been married Pastor for a few

years and and uh he said I just have to

talk about this marriage thing he goes

okay what's going on he said well it's

killing me like it's just literally

killing me like I don't know how I'm

going to be able to and he goes

who yeah like it's not I don't have any

choices gone and W like I don't can't

make decisions it's just it's it's what

I want to do I run through her and the

kids and it's just this thing is killing

me and he goes and that's exactly what

it's supposed to do

is that it kills me so we can form

we this is what's happening in our world

today everybody wants to have me and the

world says it should be about you and

you take care of you and you do this and

and I get some of the basis for that but

it just kind of goes on steroids in a

wrong direction where it's all about you

and so it's all about your happiness

it's all about your mental health it's

all about your emotional well-being it's

all about you and the truth of the

matter is is that when Mar marage comes

together a husband and a wife a man and

a woman come together in holy matrimony

it should be the end of me and the

beginning of we so you no longer gets to

say I get to do what I want to do nope

when you said yes to this you said no to

that I'm going to go do what I nope if

you had fig I'm just some of you guys

you can spend a lot of money on

counseling I'm gonna help you right now

you can just write that check out to

Greater amen hallelujah because I'm

gonna help you a little bit right it's

just you don't get to well I just get to

spend what I want to spend well you did

when you were single you could swipe

your way to happiness on that credit

card but not anymore it's the end of me

it's the beginning of we and what we

have tried to do in our world is have me

and we peacefully coexist and it doesn't

work and when it doesn't work then we go

well I'm not happy no joke Sherlock I

can tell you why you're not happy

because you're not doing it the way God

designed it to be done if he's the

Creator and we're the creation the

Creator knows what's best for the

creation the designer knows what's best

for the design he has intimately worked

this out but we've got to do it his way

and when we try to do me over we it

never ever ever works and then you bring

baby along oh my

goodness it's a whole another message

for another day so marriage I will look

at five reasons why God created marriage

number one is friendship if you're

taking notes write this down first is

friendship it's going to be on the

screen

friendship Genesis Chapter 2 Verse 18

Genesis 2:18

and the Lord God said it's not good that

man should be alone for I will make him

a I will make him a helper fit for him

another version says I'll make a

suitable helper for

him now understand this God does not

exist alone he exists in community

called the Trinity the Father the Son

the Holy Spirit three and

one now we see here in this passage

Genesis chapter 2 that the two become

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

one

why because you and I are not Divine

only God can bring three to one but we

are reflection of the godhead we're

reflection because God said let us make

man in our image and in our likeness us

plural pronoun father son holy spirit

all there in the beginning of creation

and so the father and the Son and the

Holy Spirit all work together all dwell

together in this what we would call the

trinitarian theology or Trin or the

Trinity of these three are one they're

one individual but they have three

separate distinctive persons so is true

of marriage the Two Become One you are

two separate individuals yet you are one

so so Paul will talk to the church in

Corinth that your body is no longer your

own that you are to be mutually

submitted to one another and that you

should be very careful when you refrain

from even sexual interaction with each

other and sexual intimacy because again

you're there for for for the Fulfillment

and for the blessing of the other person

both of you

um you you you are now working together

as in one mind and in one heart and in

one Accord God gives us a spirit of

unity in the bond of Peace but we have

to keep it and so this is all about this

God said man should not be alone we are

never created to be alone and this

happens before the fall of Man this

happens before sin enters the world God

addresses man's need of aloneness before

he ever addresses his need of sin that's

how powerful that is that's the reason

why I like anytime you you see anybody

who's been in solitary confinement or

you read about this you see this about

how egregious that is and how

destructive that can be on the human

mind and the human emotion the human

will because God himself doesn't exist

alone God doesn't intend for you and I

to exist alone when we begin to exist

alone we we will lose our minds we are

created to work together and so Tim

Keller said it this way in marriage each

partner becomes the other's most trusted

companion and Confidant a bond of

friendship that deepens over

time I will tell you you talk to people

that have been married for a long time

they will tell you one of the secrets of

that is that they're friends beyond the

sex we're going to talk about sex in a

minute so don't think well he's going to

go all puritanical on me oh no it's

Point number three we're going to talk

all about sex in a minute so just hang

on I hope you've got your your

12-year-olds in under out of the room if

you're not I'm just warning you right so

you don't have to to explain some things

later but but the reality is is that in

the is is that it begins with friendship

it begins with friendship it it it if

you're not friends with who you are

doing life with if you're not friends

with a person that you're married to if

you don't have a friendship then what

happens is is all of a sudden it goes to

paying bills raising kids and then you

look at each other and your empty

nesters and you have nothing to talk

about you have nothing to do you you

nothing I mean when Tammy and I went on

the sabatical about 18 months ago we

were we were were out of the country for

54 days that meant we were in basically

hotel rooms for 54 days and we were

mostly in Europe so if you've ever

traveled to Europe it's not exactly

known for palatial big hotel rooms

they're expensive but they're not big

and so one of the things I said to the

board when we got backwards you know one

thing our marriage is intact because we

would have like be on splits if we

weren't in a good relationship if we

didn't have a good friendship because

we're together breakfast lunch and

dinner for 54 days don't don't oh I

heard some groans out there that's not

good I'm just telling you we didn't

think about that going into it but there

there was one day where we were

literally in this city and I just I

looked she I looked at her she looked at

me I could tell like I need to go find

another place to be and uh I've got that

spirit of discernment and so I just I

said you know what I think there was a

movie theater around the corner I had no

idea what they were playing I didn't

even know it was in English I said I'm

going to go over there and I'll be back

she goes I think that's a good idea

friendship secondly calling

calling calling what you do in life what

you're called to do you better know this

before you marry

someone and when you marry someone and

they tell you this is what I feel called

to do you have an obligation not to

suppress that but to bless that Genesis

chapter 2:1 15 and the Lord took man and

he put him in the Garden of Eden to work

it and to keep it again this is all pre

the fall of Man gardening to have

dominion over the planet to subdue it

and all the critters in it that was

Adam's calling that was his work that

was his

purpose calling work and purpose those

are not dirty words those are not bad

words those are those are not a result

of the

fall of Man so again we are created to

work amen we are created to have a

calling amen we are created to have a

purpose and marriage should be a

complement not a

competition marriage should be a

compliment not a competition to a

spouse's calling when you marry someone

and they say I feel called into

vocational Ministry be careful and if

you feel called into vocational Ministry

don't marry someone that doesn't feel

called because what's going to happen is

it's like this if I said to you you know

hey um this I don't do marriage counsel

anymore but I used to and there's

probably a reason why I stopped but

anyhow so but I would say to them I say

okay so tell me what your idea is like

I'd have them write down answer some

questions and basically it was stuff

like this like like what what what kind

of house do you want to have and what

kind of car do you want to drive and and

and and where you want your kids to go

public school private school how many

kids you want I mean just some R just

some very benign questions and I'd get

answers like this he would say I don't

really care I can live on a

trailer uh in Northern Washington

County you you picking up on that and

and four-wheel drive truck as long as I

got a good pickup truck I'm good love

country music have as many kids as we

can have don't really care as long as I

get to hunt fish kind of do what I want

to do you know you can just hear that

guy belching and scratching at the same

time

right and then you ask her and she goes

well

I you know I I I'd like to you know I

I'd like to have a just a nice little

house maybe somewhere on the

NorthShore picket

fence kids in at least private school in

the first several years and you know

maybe a Volvo or Subaru or something

like that and just kind of want just a

just kind of a little you know and and

and college education is very important

and family vacations and can I just tell

you like I don't have to pray about it

they're going to have

issues because what he wants and what

she wants are two different worlds and

what he's wanting to do and what she's

wanting to do are two very different

worlds and and I'm not saying those two

different opposite people can't come

together I'm saying they're going to

have to talk and make sure that they're

complimenting each other and how this is

going to work out and and this is the

line that most people that end in

divorce with say well we'll figure it

out like are you an idiot you're not

just going to figure out because at the

end of the day life's going to happen

and my dad used to tell me nobody nobody

cares about your light bill nobody cares

about your water bill about your rent it

is a cold cold world that's why they

call it cold cash and everything

operates as long as they get paid they

don't care about you the only person

that's going to care about you is

you boy that sounds harsh how many times

have I seen

couples in Ministry and outside of

ministry divorce have hardship because

what they wanted to do in life and how

they wanted to do it in life they

weren't suitable helpers and here's what

we see is that God says in Genesis 28 I

will make a helper fit for him that word

helper in the original Hebrew means

partner companion someone who comes

alongside to achieve a

goal that begs a question what do you

want to do with your

life what are you created to

do I can tell you this Tammy and I dated

when I was a sophomore in college I saw

her one day in Chapel one of her first

chapels and I said to myself self I'm

going to get to know that

girl like you know and there was nothing

spiritual about it it was all just wow

who is that

right and so she was not interested in

me I know that's hard to imagine but she

wasn't took a little time to warm up

whatever 30 years later holla that's I

going say

but but then we got to talk talking

about what we want to do in life well I

was like I live in a van down by the

river I want to be an itinerate

evangelist I don't really care I can eat

baloney sandwiches I don't really care I

just want to win the World to Jesus she

was not interested in

that that's not unspiritual it's she

didn't want to live in a van down by the

river she wanted a guy that right does

anybody want to live besides Chris

Farley does anybody want to live in a V

down by the river no and so again I grew

in maturity and stature and good looks

that just kind happens with me and as I

get

older I really hope you're not taking me

that serious somebody's going man this

is my first time but this guy he's a

little arrogant no I'm just trying to

get jokes and laughs

anyhow so I go and and and at that point

no now I I'm I really feel like I'm life

is you know let's get a house and let's

let's get this and let's do and let's

we're going to change the world but a

little bit more security then all a

sudden she was interested

well because the first way I'm going to

do life is not how she wants to do life

and she's smart enough to know that and

as I begin to develop and grow in who I

am and what God's called me to be we go

along that but I also know there were

girls that I dated in college that I'd

be like this is not good they're not

going to last this isn't going to work

they're good people they love Jesus

they're going to go to heaven but they

don't have the tensil strength to be

able to handle what I think is going to

be the full contact sport of what this

is going to me they would have looked at

me 23 years ago living in Tulsa Oklahoma

and they would have said to me there is

no way in God's green earth I will ever

live in

Wisconsin well that didn't happen I

there's a lot of things in my life most

of the good things that have happened in

my adult life have all happened but from

being here I've lived here longer than

I've lived any other place on the planet

I have live yeah thank you I've lived I

still talk like this I'm sorry but but

I'm just saying like but I but but I

can't tell you the number of times I've

interviewed people and he would say yes

or she would say yes but the spouse says

I'm not going to live there because it's

cold or it's away from family or it's

whatever but the reason why we're

married today is not because of my

incredible good

looks thank you Timmy you could have at

least Said Amen on that

so but it's because of we our calling is

together I will never ask her to do what

she doesn't want to do if she looked at

me and said I just can't do that no

problem and God's not in this because

I'm married to you first I'm not married

to the

church right I'm married to her I'm not

married to my Prof my profession my

career my whatever but she's never put

me in a position either to go I won't do

that and just sat down on me telling you

this is what helps you to follow through

and live the life that c God's called

you to when it comes to marriage third

is

sexuality love this verse Genesis

Genesis 2 · chapter mention

chapter 2 vers

25 the man and his wife were both naked

and I say that funny because I'm from

the south and they were not ashamed just

say naked it's a good word all right

naked we were sexual before we were

sinful sex was a part of the equation

before sin ever entered into the

world sex is a part of God's very good

creation it's one of the reasons why I

love following

Jesus because he came up with sex amen

can I get a witness is it not right

there in the scripture some of you like

oh I can't believe you said that explain

that to your kids I'm just saying like

whoa it's right there but in the world

that we live in there's three ways that

you view sex one is a lot of people in

our world today view sex as a god like

it's the Pinnacle it's the goal they

idolize it everything in our world is so

sexualized it's not how God intended

it everything in our world becomes like

from a commercial to selling products to

everything that you see there's this

sexualization of everything wherever you

look wherever you go it's right there

it's right there it's right there it's a

God in our world sex has become a

God and we even Elevate sex I hear this

from people going well we're living

together because we want to make sure

that we're compatible sexually that

holds no theological

water because sex should never enter

into the equation until you are husband

and wife you say I do

so if you're living with someone today

you're living outside of how God

intended for it to do you're pling house

and the end of it is is that studies

show that you have a higher incident

rate of divorce than anybody else in the

room that were virgins before they got

married or they had no sexual

interaction before they got

married so God's idea was for two people

that were completely pure to come

together and to be together and and to

make a life together and that sex would

be a part of it but the idea of sex

being the goal and this is what and I've

got these needs sexually really I got

this sex really and Paul addresses this

in in Corinthians where he says look

that when you come together your body is

no longer your own it's your spouse I

wouldn't try leading with that when

you're trying to have sex hey you're

here's the chapter and verse it's not

yours it's mine please let's get naked

right now right

I've tried it it doesn't work I'm just

trying to help you with that like it

just even in my preacher voice it

doesn't work I mean it just doesn't

there's no anointing to that so so the

world that we but but the reality is

we're to come together but it's not the

Pinnacle it's not it's it's

that's there's another way of viewing

sex and some of you have this and you're

you're you're really jacked up on this

issue you view as

gross it sex is just it's a it's a dirty

word it sex is only used for procreation

got three kids we've had sex three

times that's a recipe for

divorce I'm just telling you man shall

not live by bread alone amen I'm just

saying right now like like I'm telling

you I remember having a conversation

this is many many years ago no one in

this room no one at this church no one

that has ever lived resided in Wisconsin

at all and they were telling me of what

was going on of what was happening in

their home and in their marriage and and

that kind of a deal and I just I'm a

kind of a direct this is why I'm not a

good to counsel a direct question I just

said are you sleeping with your wife

like are you in the same

room no when was the last time you had

sex probably nine months ago bro bro bro

we got to talk about this like that is

not that's not healthy are you having an

affair that was our next question who

are you messing around

with because there's no way a

40-year-old man is having sex once a

year not sleeping with his wife living

under the same roof acting like

everything's okay and that there's not

an issue I'm telling you if there's not

there will be six months later I get a

phone

call he had connected with somebody else

and they were on Rendevous meeting in

different cities on business trips and

it all came out and it all fell

apart remember we're sexual beings

before sin every into the world we're

created to have this Dynamic where we

need and and it's part of what God uses

to draw us together and to bring us

together and the one of the reasons why

God says that we are to have sex with

our spouse only with our husband or with

our wife only is because there is this

innate need that we have especially with

men that we have that continues to keep

our focus and continue to keep our draw

and if all of the sudden we're looking

and then we we're we're we're we're

checking other things out it begins with

with with very soft porn type images

that we will see on social media as

we're scrolling through because they're

going to populate our pages with

whatever they can or you're here or

there or you see someone here or there

and all of a sudden it's just like

you're not even trying to be that way

but it it's there it is in your mind and

it starts there and then it begins in

pornography then it then it results in

in having basically just masturbation to

the point of where you're completely by

yourself and you're just completely like

I I'm going to and then you screen your

spouse out and then all of a sudden it's

months before you're ever intimate with

that person it's not God's plan God's

plan is that that woman that man becomes

the object of your affection and that's

what continues to draw you together

that's how God created it God created

sex as a good thing it's like a

fireplace that fire is wonderful as long

as it's within the context of that

fireplace but if that fire gets lit in

the middle of a room it will destroy

everything the same fire that can bring

warmth and that can bring heat and that

can that can produce life is the same

fire that can destroy everything and

burn the house down sex is that way the

same sex I'm having a very

straightforward conversation with you as

adults but I'm telling you this is what

needs to be happening talking to your

kids this is what needs to be happening

talking to your young adults this is

what you need to be hearing and thinking

about because the world that we live in

just goes it's okay it's okay it's okay

it's okay and I'm just telling you this

is what the Bible say says that the

third way that you're supposed to view

sex which is the absolute correct way is

it's a gift it's a blessing it's God's

intent it's how he keeps us together

it's how he keeps us as one it's how we

reflect that together and there is a

bond there is a a connection that

happens between a man and a woman and

holy matrimony that keeps those two

people together that's God's plan that's

his intent and and and so this is SE the

sexuality the sex that God G given us as

a glue to keep us together in marriage

for a

lifetime if you have any questions about

anything I just said you can email me at

R cogin lifechurchwi

why.com he he he can explain it all all

right I gotta Land This Plane number

four family the fourth reason for it is

family verse chapter 1 verse 28 and God

blessed them and God said to them be

fruitful and multiply and fill the Earth

and subdue it this is the first

commandment in the Bible for Adam and

Eve is to make babies

again guys I'm telling you try this but

it doesn't always work hey we just need

to be biblical let's be fruitful and

multiply

let's no that's too much I really got

you on point number three wow it's just

like I cannot believe he just said

that the family is the heart of God's

vision for the

world understand this God instituted the

family before he ever instituted the

church

if we have strong families we'll have

strong

church if we have weak families we'll

have weak

churches you want to build the church in

a way that the Gates of Hell will not

Prevail against it it starts at

home it starts with

men lead love serve submit yourself to

your

family wives don't compete

equal value man is not greater than

woman woman is not greater than man we

are of equal value but different

function work together as a team is it

GNA always be easy absolutely not you're

gonna have problems you're gonna you're

going to have disagreements absolutely

you going to say words and things that

that are hurtful oh yeah that'll happen

from time to time and anybody that tells

you they've not raised their voice in 20

years it they're lying to you I'm just

telling you like it just doesn't work

that

way but the truth of the matter is is

that you work that out and you and you

raise kids and are kids perfect

absolutely

not they make mistakes yes because

because they're free moral agents and

they're learning and they're getting it

aren't you glad that you weren't judged

with everything in your life or what you

did at 21 or said or

thought when I was a youth pastor and

all Tammy and I have was a Labrador

Retriever at 23 you should have asked me

about parenting I could tell you all

about it today I'm like man I don't

really know

family

family this is why all the three things

that I just said ahead of time are all

important family you want to have a

healthy family you better have a healthy

sex life with your with with your

husband or with your wife you want to

have a healthy family you you you better

make sure that your calling is not

competing with each other but that it's

complimenting so that you stay together

for a long time you want to have a

healthy family you want to make sure

that you have began with

friendship the greatest way to have that

that is that the person that you're

living life with your husband or your

wife they are your friend and the last

thing and I land the plain with this is

formation

formation we don't live in the Garden of

Eden anymore fairness ended in the

Garden of Eden and in the wake of sin

the fifth reason for marriage was

added Ephesians chapter 5 verse 2225 and

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

31 says this wives submit to your own

husbands as to the Lord and husbands

love your WI wives as Christ loved the

church and gave himself up for her verse

31 therefore a man shall leave his

father and mother and hold fast to his

wife and the two shall become one

flesh the essence is what Paul's saying

to the church in Ephesus here this is

not about hierarchial this is not about

uh men you know woman get get the meal

on the table at five o'clock and do what

I say it's interesting because it never

tells the wives to love the

husbands but guys we're thickheaded

enough that we have to be told to love

our

wives ladies that was a really good time

to say Amen but but I appreciate your

quietness especially my

wives we're

different and we're wired

different but God uses that to bring us

together and if we'll value each other

as equals but we will play our role our

part in the

team then what will happen is God will

strengthen us and he will form in us the

character of who Jesus is I like how

Paul Likens it to the bride of Christ

and and and and and and as Christ loved

the church and gave himself up for

her that's how we're supposed to serve

one

another so a great question there as

always is to ask yourself ladies are you

submitting to your husbands unto the

Lord and men are you loving your wives

as Christ loved the church and he laid

down his

life and I've never found a

woman

that was bristled against a man that

loved her the way Christ loved the

church and gave himself for her which

means he put her

first he died to

himself he died to I me and my

way and he surrendered

himself the ending of me and the

beginning of

we and out of marriage because again

marriage family it's the reflection of

the Triune godhead on the face of this

Earth before the

church we're like oh it's the church yet

we're the bride of Christ but the

reflection of how the father Son and

Holy Spirit work the reflection of who

God is on on the planet is not the

church it's your

family that's why it's important of how

you love your wife and how you love your

husband and how you love your kids it's

important of how you live your life it's

important about who you marry it better

be more than sex because if that's the

case then sex is just a God to you and

you will go down a very

vicious very difficult Trail because it

will come the self-serving self-seeking

kind of sex which does not result in

anything that is good or free

fruitful but it's about the Lessing in

me and the beginning of we so what I

want to do today is I want to pray for

you I want to pray for your marriage I

want to pray for every one of you and

then at every campus a worship teams are

going to come back and they're going to

close us out and then the campus Pastor

will come and dismiss but if you're a uh

if you're married today um and you're

with your spouse I want to pray

especially for you if you'll let me so

if you would just just at every campus

if if you're I want to ask you to to

take your spouse by the hand just just

take them by the hand and if you got

three kids you got to then you know lean

across oh Mom oh Dad they'll get over it

but I just want you to take them by the

hand and I just want to pray for you

father I just thank you right now in the

name of Jesus for every husband for

every wife that's in this room and I

know there are people that are here that

their spouse is traveling or they're

gone or whatever I I I get that but I

just pray today God that you would Lord

that you would bless that husband and

that wife none of us are perfect oh God

we mess stuff up so much but Lord

You You Lord have gifted us with that

person and Lord we know it's the

commitment that makes the love lasts not

the love that makes a commitment last

and so I just pray God for their

marriage I pray for their commitment to

one another

I pray Lord that if there is if there is

sin or fault that's happened I pray Lord

let them make it right with you and move

forward I pray God that there would just

be grace and mercy that would flow in

every marriage God that's experiencing a

rough and a rocky time I pray God for

every wife that they would be able to to

submit themselves to their husbands and

to as as as as and love them uh Lord but

but as you did the church I pray Lord

for every husband that they would love

their wife as you love the church chch

and gave yourself for it I pray God that

there would be this equal value but but

different role to come together not to

compete but to compliment I pray God you

would bless the sex life God of every of

of every marriage God that's in this

room I pray Lord that you would Minister

and that you would strengthen I pray God

for their children and for their

children's children I pray your

blessings be upon them blessings be upon

their home God blessings be upon them

and I pray Lord that no one walk out of

here today with any amount of man I'm

not perfect or I'm not as good as so and

so Lord we're not called to that we're

called to keep our eyes upon you the

author and the finisher of our faith

we're called that when we hear a word

that convicts us to ask you to forgive

us and if that's the case today Lord let

us make it right with you and then go

and sin no more we're we're not called

to live in the past we're not called to

live with the shame and the sins of the

past we're called to give those to you

your your yoke is easy and your burden

is light and we cast our cares upon you

and so Lord if there's been any

indiscretion God there's been any

failure there's been any big or small

Lord God I just pray we give it to you

right now and I just pray that your hand

and your blessings would be upon every

single married couple every single

marriage at Life Church and that you

would bless it in Jesus name we pray

amen amen