Sermon

A Theology of Parenting | Pastor Ryan Coggins

Life Church Wisconsin

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  1. well good morning and welcome to Life

  2. Church how many of you this today are

  3. honest enough to say that daylight

  4. savings snuck up on you you normally

  5. come to the nine o00 any anybody all

  6. right it's okay it's okay it's all right

  7. um the last service they were all the

  8. people that are crazy that think that we

  9. should have a 7 a.m. service that were

  10. it was finally their time but uh it's

  11. good to have you here like Luke said

  12. we're continuing we're actually

  13. concluding a series called loveology and

  14. we've been looking at different types of

  15. relationship ships if you were here last

  16. Sunday Pastor Aon talked about uh the

  17. marriage relationship today we are

  18. talking about what it looks like to

  19. raise Godly children now I have two high

  20. schoolers that were in the last service

  21. and I could hear them occasionally going

  22. hm you know there's a couple of amens

  23. almost so kids don't mess with your

  24. parents today but I am going to talk

  25. maybe a little bit more to your parents

  26. today but I'm going to talk to everybody

  27. because we all have a responsibility in

  28. this but uh I'm not breaking any news

  29. when I say this but the world has

  30. changed dramatically over the last 20 30

  31. years and what it looks like to parent

  32. has changed a lot in fact I don't know

  33. if there's a 30-year period of time that

  34. it has changed more than these last 30

  35. years and so I let let me just give you

  36. a couple of examples come with me back

  37. to when I was a kid back in the

  38. 1900s long time ago and I was kind of a

  39. kid of the '90s I'm 40 years old so the

  40. '90s were my de decade of growing up and

  41. back in the 90s life was just very

  42. different and so like for

  43. example what a summer day looked like in

  44. the 90s was different than today I would

  45. wake up I'd eat a bowl of cereal maybe

  46. watch a cartoon and say to my mom I'm

  47. going to go play with friends now and

  48. she would say be back by

  49. dark sometimes that was like 13 hours

  50. away you know like just fend for

  51. yourself live off the land for the next

  52. 13 hours and we would go just do crazy

  53. things we would rope swing into the

  54. Mississippi River which I can't even

  55. imagine if my kids told me they were

  56. going to do that we didn't ever tell our

  57. my mom might be finding that out right

  58. now if she's listening uh we would do

  59. things we would shoot BB guns at each

  60. other with no eye protection uh we you

  61. know we would do we would bike to the

  62. grocery store at like 9 years old three

  63. miles away and I didn't own a bike

  64. helmet I we didn't even know what those

  65. were it was just like a foreign we'd

  66. occasionally see one and make fun of

  67. people who wore bike hel it's just a

  68. different day and age that we lived in

  69. I'll give you another example going to

  70. the store I always loved going to the

  71. store with my mom because we would get

  72. to the store and she would just say meet

  73. back here in an hour so there was a

  74. clock I would find i' try to keep track

  75. and I'd go to the toy section I would

  76. wander around that's why back in the in

  77. the 9s you would often hear an

  78. announcement over the loudspeaker that

  79. would say would so and so K you know

  80. would so and so's parents come claim

  81. your kid at customer service they're

  82. like in a holding tank you know there's

  83. all these kids just missing all the time

  84. and uh you know that's why like today

  85. that that would just never happen you

  86. never hear that announcement today I

  87. heard it once recently and I was like

  88. whoa that's bad parenting right there

  89. you know like you keep your kids close

  90. to you in stores or uh another example

  91. were road trips this is I I tell my kids

  92. they have it so good you have it so good

  93. uh when I was a kid we had two options

  94. on road trips of what to entertain

  95. ourselves with you could either look out

  96. the window or you could go to sleep that

  97. was

  98. it and I would try I had a tough time

  99. falling asleep in in vehicles or

  100. anything so like I would try really hard

  101. and I never could and it was just like

  102. eight hours of boredom you know like

  103. today you get movies and all this so I

  104. have lots of righteous indignation with

  105. my kids sometimes I'm like back when I

  106. was a kid we had

  107. nothing uh but also we didn't care about

  108. seat belts like we uh you know we didn't

  109. really use them as like my dad one time

  110. we went to Florida and we we drove to

  111. Florida he took out all the seats in the

  112. back and just put in a

  113. mattress just marbles rolling around

  114. back there and just but it was a good

  115. time we had we had fun uh my grandpa

  116. actually when they first got seat belts

  117. in his car day one he cut them out he's

  118. like we're not I don't know what kind of

  119. safety features these are but we're not

  120. rolling like this or uh Sports is

  121. another big one sports I I tell you when

  122. I was a kid

  123. you had you played Little League in the

  124. summer but during the school year there

  125. really weren't a lot of sports there

  126. were some like club sports that were

  127. starting to come onto the scene but like

  128. it was middle school before you really

  129. got involved in sports and all the

  130. parents said amen because there was a

  131. bus that took your kids to and from

  132. everything or whatever uh now today it's

  133. like if you're not you know specializing

  134. in a sport and lifting weights by second

  135. grade probably never going to make the

  136. varsity team someday it's just a it's

  137. just it's it's a honestly that is a big

  138. challenge it is one that as parents it's

  139. like how do we navigate all of these

  140. different things and you want to give

  141. your kids a good experience but also

  142. it's like this is madness all the the

  143. practice times and everything going on

  144. so and I I'll say this there it's not

  145. all been bad changes there's some good

  146. things that have changed since the 90s

  147. give you one of them when you walk into

  148. a restaurant the first question they ask

  149. you is not would you like smoking or

  150. non-smoking my kids can't even believe

  151. believe that that was a thing like we

  152. just there's no such thing as a

  153. non-smoking section it's the secondhand

  154. smoking section it's just we didn't know

  155. a lot about dissipation back in the in

  156. the 90s or or the internet I'm I'm

  157. grateful that that it's not the process

  158. that it was it right around Middle

  159. School I think is when we got dial up

  160. internet and anyone knows that if you

  161. were on the internet which took 10

  162. minutes to get on to by the way uh and

  163. somebody picked up the phone I mean

  164. World War 3 would break out in your home

  165. you're like what are you doing I'm

  166. trying to get on to AOL instant

  167. messenger and I need to check my mypace

  168. account immediately uh very big

  169. important things but uh all of these

  170. changes all the like the parenting

  171. landscape is vastly different uh than it

  172. was even 20 years ago just very

  173. different and there's a lot of new

  174. challenges that honestly my generation

  175. if you're somewhere in that you know

  176. late 30s early 40s you didn't grow like

  177. I didn't have a cell phone until I was

  178. in college so I don't exactly know how

  179. to parent toward like how having

  180. responsible use of self like I'd never

  181. experienced that as a kid there's just

  182. new challenges the world has changed

  183. dramatically And yet when it comes to

  184. the advice given to us in Scripture that

  185. advice is the exact same that it was in

  186. the 90s it's the exact same that it was

  187. 2,000 years ago it's the exact same and

  188. I'm so grateful that we can anchor Our

  189. Hope as Christ followers to something

  190. that doesn't move you don't want to

  191. Anchor to something that is moving along

  192. with the current you want to Anchor to

  193. something that is not going to move and

  194. so today I want to look at a scripture

  195. it's a it's an old scripture in

  196. Deuteronomy chapter

    Deuteronomy 6 chapter mention

  197. 6 and this is this is meant to be more

  198. of a almost like in Judaism it was

  199. almost like a pledge of allegiance it

  200. was something that was said daily it was

  201. it's called the shama and it was very

  202. much a part of Jewish culture even to

  203. this day it's said daily by kids it's

  204. memorized this is this is really what it

  205. means to follow God but it also within

  206. that gives us great Insight in what it

  207. looks like to raise Godly children if

  208. you have your Bibles Deuteronomy chapter

    Deuteronomy 6 chapter mention

  209. 6 it's also going to be on the screens

  210. but starting in verse four it says this

  211. here o Israel the Lord Our God the Lord

  212. is one you shall love the Lord your God

  213. with all your heart with all your heart

  214. with all your soul and with all your

  215. mind might and these words that I

  216. command you today shall be on your heart

  217. you shall teach them diligently to your

  218. children and shall talk of them when you

  219. sit in your house when you walk by the

  220. way when you lie down and when you rise

  221. in other words you should teach these to

  222. your kids all the time in everything

  223. that you do everything you should do

  224. should be about teaching your kids what

  225. it looks like to follow God more

  226. specifically there's three distinct

  227. objectives that are that are kind of

  228. outlined in this passage of what it

  229. looks like to raise Godly children and I

  230. believe that if we'll Implement them I I

  231. know that it's challenging I know that

  232. it's a it's not easy raising Godly kids

  233. raising just parenting in general very

  234. difficult there's a lot of challenges

  235. but I believe that these things right

  236. here can begin to set up our home well

  237. to raise children who love and serve God

  238. the first one if you're taking notes we

  239. should parent towards

  240. Community parent towards community every

  241. Jew would have understood that when

  242. Moses was was saying this to them uh

  243. that he's talking about us collectively

  244. as a community he's he wasn't saying

  245. that uh parenting is isolated to just

  246. Mom and Dad they're the only ones who

  247. can pour into the kids it was it was

  248. very much it takes a village type of a

  249. mindset we read in Deuteronomy 6:4 it

    Deuteronomy 6:4

  250. says right out of the gate here o Israel

  251. the Lord Our God the Lord is one meaning

  252. I'm talking to all of Israel I'm not

  253. just talking to the parents here today

  254. and today I know there's a lot of people

  255. in the room you're trying to figure out

  256. okay I'm my parenting days are over or

  257. my I I'm not I don't yet have kids or

  258. may you know wherever you are maybe you

  259. are a kid we all have a responsibility

  260. in what it looks like to raise Godly

  261. children in fact at Life Church we have

  262. 37% of those who attend Life Church are

  263. under the age of 18 now just for a

  264. little context in America 24% of the

  265. population is under the age of so we

  266. have like more than 50% more than what

  267. the you know average Community would

  268. have we got a lot of kids a lot of

  269. students and they're watching you not

  270. just Mom and Dad but they're watching

  271. adults on how they worship God how they

  272. interact with each other I'm keenly

  273. aware whenever we have people over to

  274. our house we had a life group at our

  275. house last night they're they're

  276. watching how we interact they're

  277. watching how we do life with one another

  278. and everyone in this room plays a role

  279. in what it looks like to raise Godly

  280. children what does that mean more

  281. specifically for us as parents I would

  282. ask you the question are you surrounding

  283. your children with Godly Community is

  284. that something that is of value to you

  285. now I know that I am preaching to the

  286. choir you guys are here on daylight

  287. savings Sunday your people who you know

  288. are are clearly church is a huge part of

  289. your life but we should constantly be

  290. surrounding our children with Godly

  291. community there was a study done several

  292. years ago where it it it looked at How

  293. likely is somebody to attend church as

  294. an adult now I understand attending

  295. church is not the end all Beall

  296. attending church does not make you a

  297. Christian however if you make Church a

  298. priority mom and dad 72% of the time

  299. your child will

  300. follow if just dad makes it a priority

  301. but not Mom it's

  302. 15% if just Mom uh excuse me it's it's

  303. 55% I inverted that if it's just Mom

  304. it's 15% and if neither mom or dad go to

  305. church then the children will go to

  306. church as an adult just 6% of the time

  307. just right there if we just simply said

  308. let Let's ignore everything else I'm

  309. going to say okay if we simply make

  310. Church a priority our child is so much

  311. more likely to follow in our footsteps

  312. when it comes to our faith now we add

  313. all these other layers to it and I'm

  314. telling you it's it it I it is very like

  315. that your child will grow up to love and

  316. serve God if we will simply implement

  317. the things outlined in

  318. scripture if all we do is make Church a

  319. priority is so much more likely that our

  320. children will adopt the faith for them

  321. for their own uh I'm grateful that I

  322. grew up in the type of home that made

  323. Church a priority it it was a

  324. non-negotiable like I've talked about it

  325. before in sermons I mean it's like it

  326. didn't matter if you were throwing up

  327. like I'm glad today if your kid is

  328. throwing up keep them home okay we got

  329. you can watch online but but like we

  330. would just go no matter what I missed

  331. game six of the 1991 World Series that

  332. my team was playing and turned out to be

  333. one of the greatest baseball games of

  334. all time because we had Sunday night

  335. church and it was like it was we're

  336. going to church I'm like we got to

  337. cancel this what are we doing here no

  338. but my parents made it a priority we're

  339. going to be a family that goes to church

  340. I wasn't allowed to do certain things as

  341. a kid because if it interfered with

  342. church like I really wanted to play

  343. hockey as a kid all of my friends played

  344. hockey and I was not allowed to because

  345. of the weekend drive that of what would

  346. happen it's just it's not compatible and

  347. I'm I'm not trying to beat up if anyone

  348. plays hockey here today but my mom was

  349. on staff at the church that we attended

  350. it was like we're we're not going there

  351. uh when I got a job in in high

  352. school uh I had told my boss early on I

  353. can't work Sunday mornings and I can't

  354. work Wednesday nights those are times

  355. for church and occasionally I would get

  356. scheduled on one of those days is and my

  357. mom would see it and she'd say are you

  358. going to call your boss or am I but

  359. you're not working it was just very

  360. black and white and and I never you know

  361. sometimes as parents were so afraid to

  362. make it that black and white because

  363. it's like I don't want the child to

  364. rebel I don't want to I'm just telling

  365. you kids are resilient they'll figure it

  366. out but they will learn to become

  367. grateful later on in life as I have that

  368. they had parents who made it a priority

  369. and said we're going to set boundaries

  370. here we are going to be a church uh

  371. we're going to be a family that makes

  372. Church a priority makes Godly Community

  373. a priority that we are to parent towards

  374. Community second thing if you're taking

  375. notes parent towards

  376. purpose parent towards purpose our job

  377. as Mom and Dad is to raise our kids to

  378. discover their god-given

  379. purpose and in Deuteronomy chapter 6 it

    Deuteronomy 6 chapter mention

  380. lays out maybe more concisely than any

  381. other verse in all of scripture what it

  382. looks like what a good mission statement

  383. if you want to call it that for in the

  384. life of a Christ follower and somebody

  385. who follows after God looks like

  386. Deuteronomy 6:5 it says you shall love

    Deuteronomy 6:5

  387. the Lord your God with all your heart

  388. and with all your soul and with all your

  389. might you need to love God with all of

  390. your heart which means with W with your

  391. passion with your affection with your

  392. soul meaning from the depths of who you

  393. are and with your might meaning in

  394. everything that you do that's what we're

  395. parenting towards is that purpose

  396. there's times where I think it's

  397. important as as parents especially if

  398. you have kids who are little and you've

  399. just started to you know you're starting

  400. to process through what do you what do

  401. you see them becoming as an adult I'm

  402. not so much talking about

  403. occupation what does it look like like

  404. at the end of their time with us those

  405. 18 years in the home what does success

  406. look like even begin to write that out

  407. just you and your wife you and your

  408. spouse that you that you could begin to

  409. just jot down what does success look

  410. like maybe it's we want them to love and

  411. serve God we want them to marry somebody

  412. who loves God we we want them to have

  413. healthy relationships we want them to

  414. you know maybe it's graduate high school

  415. and go to college or you know some of

  416. these things that you see as this is

  417. what success looks like and then back up

  418. and say are we parenting toward that is

  419. our parenting helping them in that is

  420. our parenting you know guiding them

  421. toward that

  422. end we're also responsible as parents to

  423. uh to protect our children and help them

  424. navigate things that could derail them

  425. from their god-given

  426. purpose let me just give you one example

  427. but it's probably the biggest example

  428. it's the one that I talk to a lot of

  429. parents in a lot of Life groups and we

  430. you know talk a lot about parenting and

  431. it's the number one thing that I that I

  432. hear parents struggling with is phones

  433. and social media

  434. how do we as parents navigate this it's

  435. tough to navigate something that was not

  436. even a thing when I was a kid I have no

  437. context of what it looks like to be in

  438. high school and have a phone and social

  439. I have no context on that whatsoever how

  440. do I parent My Children Well in that um

  441. I'm currently reading a book uh called

  442. anxious Generation by Jonathan height

  443. and I'd recommend it if you're you know

  444. parenting right now I think it's a good

  445. read it kind of gives a lot of the

  446. Insight it's more of a scci the

  447. scientific background of all of this but

  448. a lot of studies that are in the book

  449. but it really talks about um the main

  450. object or the main thesis of the book is

  451. that over the last 20 years parenting

  452. has changed

  453. dramatically and what's happening is

  454. parents are overprotecting in the real

  455. world in the physical world and under

  456. prototec in the digital world that

  457. Dynamic right there is causing a lot of

  458. confusion and Chaos for children

  459. and it's what a lot of studies are

  460. showing that it's responsible for a lot

  461. of the rise in anxiety and depression

  462. and just all of the things that kids

  463. deal with today even suicidal ideation

  464. that is on the rise a lot of that again

  465. not to get too much into the book and

  466. all these studies but a lot of it comes

  467. down to we're overprotecting in the real

  468. world and under prototec in the virtual

  469. world in the digital world and kids need

  470. they there's certain developmental

  471. things that happen I know I joked about

  472. it back in the you know 1900s we used to

  473. just do all sorts of crazy things but

  474. there is some truth to kids need a

  475. little bit of that they need a little

  476. bit of that freedom they need a little

  477. bit of the time away from Mom and Dad to

  478. develop certain there's even fears that

  479. they overcome early on and age the fear

  480. of heights just climbing trees the they

  481. need to understand that and and

  482. appreciate things like fire and how to

  483. you know do that responsibly I we just

  484. were we had we were burning a bunch of

  485. sticks in our backyard yesterday and and

  486. I wanted to show the boys how cool it is

  487. when you throw a Christmas wreath on a

  488. on a

  489. bonfire I was like I'm going to be right

  490. here it's going to be fine but you need

  491. to see this don't do this when I'm not

  492. around but like there's little things

  493. like that that children they actually in

  494. the book goes into great detail about

  495. that but then at the same time while

  496. we're overprotecting trying to Bubble

  497. Wrap in the physical world we'll give a

  498. child sometimes an eight-year-old

  499. unfettered internet access on a on a

  500. device you know and I'm not not here to

  501. pass judgment on that but I would I

  502. would encourage you as parents as Mom

  503. and Dad have you had a conversation and

  504. if you if your kids are not old enough

  505. to have a phone yet and that age by the

  506. way will vary depending on who you ask

  507. in this room I think it should be like

  508. 40 but anyway that's just that's just me

  509. uh but have you had a conversation about

  510. what age are we going to allow this in

  511. our home what AE what kind of parameters

  512. are we going to put around this what I

  513. often hear here and I can be guilty of

  514. this too is on this topic there's a lot

  515. of venting that happens as parents and

  516. there's a place for venting believe me I

  517. I get very frustrated about some of the

  518. challenges in parenting today but

  519. venting is not productive in terms of

  520. coming up with a strategy and I my

  521. encouragement to you would be this are

  522. you researching are you talking to other

  523. parents are you seeking out resources

  524. cuz the these are new challenges these

  525. are new things that some of the things I

  526. don't even know you know what it's

  527. probably going to be different 10 years

  528. from now okay so you constantly are you

  529. leaning into that as a parent and say my

  530. responsibility is to protect my children

  531. from things that could derail them from

  532. their purpose not overprotect I'm giving

  533. them boundaries to to with when when

  534. they're in the four walls of my h house

  535. I want them to at least face some

  536. challenges and face some risks and make

  537. decisions but am I guiding them properly

  538. as a parent

  539. it's so important that we parent towards

  540. purpose uh lastly if you're taking notes

  541. here today parent towards

  542. faith we are to parent towards Faith

  543. ultimately this is our main

  544. responsibility as parents is to guide

  545. our children into a relationship with

  546. Jesus now I know Pastor Aon says it all

  547. the time that we're not rock sakam

  548. robots right we're again back to the

  549. 1900s uh we're not robots that we have

  550. free moral agency

  551. yet parents can be highly

  552. influential in in showing our kids what

  553. faith looks like Deuteronomy 6 6-7 it

  554. says and these words that I command you

  555. today shall be on your heart you shall

  556. teach them diligently to your children

  557. and shall talk of them when you sit down

  558. in your house and when you walk by the

  559. way and when you lie down and when you

  560. rise your child's Faith begins with your

  561. faith one of the one of the most

  562. sobering realities as a parent is that

  563. you reproduce in your kids who and what

  564. you are all of the good all of the bad

  565. like they they are often a reflection of

  566. you now there's exceptions to that I

  567. know people that did not have good Godly

  568. examples in their own life growing up

  569. and they they were able to you know

  570. Blaze their own trail I I know there's

  571. exceptions to this but by and large your

  572. children will be a reflection of your

  573. faith that that's very um that's

  574. something that should wake us up a

  575. little little bit and say I got to make

  576. sure I'm living this out and not

  577. Perfection that's not that's not the the

  578. measurement and we'll talk a little bit

  579. about that in just a minute but at Life

  580. Church we have your kids for maybe one

  581. hour a

  582. week at home they're there for 167 hours

  583. a week you are the primary teacher of

  584. what it looks like to have faith in God

  585. now let me just give you a few examples

  586. of things that I think that we can do

  587. because uh really the life of a Christ

  588. follower the life of a parent as a

  589. Christ follower is to produce in your

  590. kids a hunger and thirst for God and I I

  591. think that's a good way to frame it up

  592. you look at the um the psalmist David

  593. that he constantly writes about having a

  594. hunger and thirst for God he you know

  595. the famous verse that as the deer pants

  596. for water so my soul Longs after you he

  597. writes in this language all the time

  598. like the reason why I seek after God is

  599. because I have a hunger for him I have a

  600. thirst for him and as parents how do we

  601. create a home in which our kids have a

  602. natural hunger and thirst for God not

  603. just here's what you're supposed to

  604. believe and not more of a lecture type

  605. format but how do I create this hunger

  606. in my kids I'll give you a few ideas

  607. examples things that I think can be

  608. really really helpful first of all make

  609. talking about God a normal thing in your

  610. home and that's something that you have

  611. to be intentional about uh look for

  612. opportunity

  613. to talk about God in your home I know

  614. that that sounds so basic well yeah you

  615. got to do that but like do you do that

  616. do you look for opportunities to weave

  617. God into conversations and you have to

  618. be intentional about that they're not

  619. it's not just going to happen through

  620. osmosis it has to you have to actually

  621. think about like one example is

  622. sometimes I'm reading in scripture and

  623. I'll come across kind of an oddball

  624. story there's just some old testament

  625. stories that I'm like I don't really and

  626. I'll bring it up with my kids can you

  627. believe that that that isn't that a wild

  628. story and just in term that it shows my

  629. kids that I'm reading scripture for

  630. myself and it gives them a curiosity

  631. maybe I should do that as well it's one

  632. reason why I actually this past year I

  633. used to do a lot of my Bible reading on

  634. my phone there's nothing wrong with that

  635. inherently uh however my kids think I'm

  636. looking at my phone and I'm actually

  637. reading scripture so I'm like I actually

  638. have gone back over to a physical Bible

  639. that I keep in a certain place it's

  640. there all of the time I actually have

  641. like a journal with it that is always

  642. there and my kids know that that's a

  643. priority that it's a regular part of our

  644. home another thing that you can do um is

  645. just even this is something that we do

  646. at our house every every time we go on a

  647. trip as we're leaving the driveway I'll

  648. ask one of the kids to pray just hey

  649. just pray for safety and it's not like

  650. some long you know like 5 10 seconds

  651. just a real quick hey keep us safe today

  652. and it's just another way to constantly

  653. be redirecting toward

  654. curiosity in God a a hunger and a thirst

  655. for God we can also I I talked a lot

  656. about it earlier but just simply making

  657. church a priority creates a hunger and a

  658. thirst in your child making it just a

  659. regular part of the rhythm of your

  660. family we're a we're a family that goes

  661. to church we make this a

  662. priority serving

  663. together when's the last time your kids

  664. saw you serving somebody else maybe in a

  665. formal setting maybe you volunteered

  666. somewhere together maybe you volunteered

  667. here at Life church together or at the

  668. popup shop at the Milwaukee campus or

  669. you know there's a lot of different

  670. opportunities but sometimes it's even

  671. just a nonformal setting you see a need

  672. maybe there's a neighbor maybe there's

  673. somebody on the side of the road maybe

  674. there whatever it may be and you take

  675. your kids along for that journey and say

  676. we we've been blessed to be a blessing

  677. we're going to step in and help right

  678. here and you actually show your kids

  679. expose your kids to what generosity

  680. looks like and helping others serving

  681. together that a like that that stir up a

  682. hunger in your kids like nothing else

  683. when they see you serving other people

  684. there's things we can do as parents to

  685. not dictate to our kids what faith looks

  686. like and I'm all for a Bible lecture I'm

  687. all for like Hey we're going to we're

  688. going to talk about this right now I'm

  689. going to teach you this or whatever I'm

  690. all for

  691. that but is it just a normal thing in

  692. your household to create a hunger and a

  693. thirst for God with your kids we need to

  694. parent towards Faith now I want to give

  695. you one just quick word of encouragement

  696. and then we're going to be dismissed but

  697. I talk to a lot of parents and I I can

  698. see it in their eyes often I can hear it

  699. in their voice that there are a lot of

  700. parents and some of you are here today

  701. I'm

  702. sure that you are just weary like it is

  703. a daunting task to raise kids it's

  704. challenging it's expensive it's

  705. stressful it I get it it it really is

  706. and uh some of you are just exhausted

  707. today some of you beat yourselves up

  708. over mistakes that you've made you know

  709. maybe in the past it's like I wish I

  710. would have done that differently I wish

  711. I would have known that I I I wish I

  712. wouldn't have you know I I blew it with

  713. my kids on that situation I lost my

  714. temper I you know whatever it may be you

  715. have

  716. regrets some of you that feel like

  717. you're losing the battle the older your

  718. kids get they're closer to leaving the

  719. nest and you're you're concerned you

  720. lose sleep you're you wait up night

  721. after night waiting for him to come home

  722. and you just have a lot of um it's just

  723. a an exhausting thing you feel like

  724. you're losing the battle and if I can

  725. just be vulnerable with you for a

  726. moment I can be impatient with my kids

  727. like I can have a short fuse from time

  728. to time I'm not that way in any other

  729. area of life like I don't get

  730. um I don't get animated when I'm playing

  731. sports I don't get animated like in work

  732. I'm very chill and steady yey all the

  733. time but there's something in parenting

  734. that will sometimes just ignite a fuse

  735. in me and I will get amped

  736. up I uh don't function well on low

  737. levels of sleep and so I'm telling you

  738. early on in the baby days uh when you

  739. are just struggling to get 6 hours or 5

  740. hours or 4 hours or whatever it may be

  741. and you're just kind of walking around

  742. like a zombie at time like I get and I

  743. appreciate that that that can be so

  744. challenging I sometimes make up Petty

  745. rules as a parent I don't know if anyone

  746. does this like there's rules in my home

  747. that when I really think about it why is

  748. that a rule like why do I care about

  749. that if my kids aren't in this one so

  750. that's probably for the best they can't

  751. say Amen to that but like like giv an

  752. example I really don't like when the

  753. it's loud in the car at all that's

  754. probably like a good there's a I I say

  755. that there's like a safety thing like a

  756. dad needs to pay attention or whatever

  757. but like I just I just can't handle it

  758. when there's a lot of noise in the car

  759. and I'm like why am I so uptight about

  760. that why am I so high strong about that

  761. if I'm really to be honest there's many

  762. days where I can be very selfish where I

  763. would rather watch some you know watch a

  764. game on TV than play a game with my

  765. kids I have those days I'm right there

  766. with you

  767. there's many days where I feel

  768. inadequate as a dad just to be honest

  769. with you like am I am I am I handling

  770. that right and my you know I second

  771. guess things all the time about H what's

  772. the right age to learn about that what's

  773. the right you know all of those things I

  774. I'm constantly thinking about it and

  775. second guessing and sometimes if we're

  776. not careful we can work ourselves up

  777. into a frenzy to the point where we

  778. completely ignore that we have access to

  779. the grace of God in our parents

  780. that we can humbly approach the throne

  781. of grace with confidence and say God

  782. help me in this I don't have all the

  783. answers I don't I'm I don't have

  784. Perfection here but I serve a God who is

  785. perfect and can make up the difference

  786. that there is going to be a gap between

  787. this idea of what it looks to be a Godly

  788. parent and sometimes where I measure up

  789. is not all the way there and God I need

  790. your grace to make up the difference and

  791. some of you just need to hear that today

  792. that's all I'm communicating is you need

  793. to here that there's so much grace that

  794. you can approach God and it should be

  795. something we do regularly God make up

  796. the difference I'm not perfect as a

  797. parent I'm never going to be perfect as

  798. a parent help me be the best example

  799. that I can be but make up the difference

  800. that's what Grace is I love this quote

  801. by Paul David trip it's in the book A

  802. book called parenting uh and it's a very

  803. good book it talks a lot about

  804. Grace but he says this here's the

  805. humbling conclusion that God in Grace

  806. led me too I am more like my children

  807. than unlike them and so are you the

  808. reality is that there are few struggles

  809. in the lives of my children that aren't

  810. in my life as well

  811. materialism relationships wanting my own

  812. way attraction to the world subtle

  813. idolatries this admission transformed my

  814. parenting instead of approaching them

  815. with self-righteous outrage I move

  816. toward them as a sinner in need need of

  817. Grace needing to confront a sinner in

  818. need of Grace God's plan is to make his

  819. invisible Grace visible to children by

  820. sending parents of Grace to give Grace

  821. to children who need Grace and parents

  822. who know they need Grace tend to want to

  823. give Grace to children who are just like

  824. them it's okay that that you make

  825. mistakes it's okay that there's days

  826. where you regret how you handle the

  827. situation God just says lean into my

  828. grace

  829. my grace is sufficient in your weakness

  830. is what scripture says and my prayer for

  831. us today is that God would strengthen

  832. all of us today as as parents that as we

  833. try to parent towards community and

  834. purpose and Faith but also that when we

  835. do make mistakes when we do mess up when

  836. we don't measure up that we lean heavily

  837. on God's grace in fact out of any lesson

  838. that your children learn from you while

  839. they're under your roof the lesson of

  840. leaning into God's grace is number one

  841. if they see a parent who is constantly

  842. leaning into God's grace and I'm not

  843. talking about you know Paul talks he

  844. warns against this he says you can't

  845. just abuse Grace and just make mistakes

  846. and then Grace will come that's not what

  847. we're talking about but there are times

  848. where we legitimately we just need God's

  849. grace some of us today the Bible says

  850. that his yoke is easy and his burden is

  851. light and parenting does not feel light

  852. and and and and easy at times you need

  853. to cast your cares upon God that he

  854. cares for you and so I'm I'm with you

  855. I'm praying for you I'm standing with

  856. you I'm in the I have two high schoolers

  857. two Elementary schoolers I'm right in

  858. the thick of it but I believe that we

  859. can that we can set a Godly example for

  860. our children that we can especially when

  861. we lean upon his grace would you pray

  862. with me

  863. today Father God we thank you for your

  864. grace that we can lean on it as parents

  865. that we need to lean on it as parents

  866. and in doing so we are teaching our kids

  867. such a valuable lesson that they too

  868. need your grace that we're never going

  869. to measure up we're never going to be

  870. this perfect

  871. parent God we need your grace we thank

  872. you for this church community that we

  873. all play a part in that we all have a

  874. responsibility to raise this next

  875. Generation to love and serve you that

  876. our example would be one that never uh

  877. that never brings anything that is never

  878. a stumbling block to this next

  879. Generation that they would see men and

  880. women who love you with all of their

  881. heart and lean on your grace in every

  882. situation God we thank you for it it's

  883. in Jesus name we pray amen