They Look Like Trees Walking: Learning to See People Clearly Again | Passed By | Chad Belew

But thanks.

Hey, we've been in a series called Past By.

A lot of it has just been about like acknowledging

the things around us.

And really, in a focus on this emotion of awe,

this idea that we can experience something that reminds us

that, like, the ego is not good for us, that we're not

the only thing here, that we are actually all connected,

that there is like the definition of awe for those of you

that haven't been around for like the past eight months

where I won't stop talking about it, is seeing something

that is so vast that's like mind-blowing that you realize

how small you are and small in a good way that you realize

just how much is around you, the beauty of nature,

the people around you.

One of the biggest ways that you can actually experience

is seeing someone do something compassionate or kind

for another human being.

You know that feeling you get?

I know for me, like sometimes you're scrolling through

Instagram, which is not always the safest thing right now,

or TikTok, and you see that video of somebody just like,

I don't know, like doing something really nice for somebody,

and you get, I don't know, for me, I cry.

I get tears in my eyes and I'm like, why am I crying?

It's awe.

It's because it's this reminder that we are so connected

and that when people experience that, it is, we experience it.

So we're talking about this idea of awe,

and that in Scripture it says that,

and we've been taught that the fear of the Lord is the beginning

of wisdom, but really the word yerah used for fear there

is the word awe, it's the awe of the Lord that is the beginning

of wisdom, and so we've been unpacking that a little bit,

and we've talked about a lot of different things.

I'm not going to recap everything, but we're going to continue

in this idea of what can we do, how does awe help us,

and how can we experience it?

But I do want to start by naming something out loud.

It's been a rough few weeks, really, like, months, year.

The last couple weeks have been really rough.

I think for us, like everybody, our country,

and not in theory, not just on paper, like our bodies.

I think a lot of us are just experiencing this and feeling it.

You can feel it when you wake up.

You can feel it in conversations that turn tents

faster than they used to.

You can feel it in how tired people are.

Even when they haven't really been doing anything,

they're just tired, anybody else?

They just feel tired right now.

That's what I said, you're probably going to get the raw.

Some of it, I'll try and tape it.

I don't think it's because people are weak.

I think it's because people are paying attention.

And this last week, I think it was this last week.

It's all running together.

When the news broke about the murder of Alex Prady in Minnesota,

I think it shook a lot of us.

I know it shook me.

I spent a lot of time watching videos and analyzing.

The military in me was like, okay, what happened?

Why did this happen?

I've got all kinds of things about it.

But I probably spent too much time doing that.

I shot four different videos this week to put up on social media

and just never put any up.

Because they'd end up being like 15 minutes long.

I was like, nobody wants to hear me talk that long.

And then I feel bad because I'm like, I'm not saying anything online.

It's been that moment.

It was just another reminder.

I mean, that's just one in a series of things.

And I don't think it shook me just because of the violence itself,

but because of everything it stirred up underneath.

Like fear and anger and grief.

It's a familiar feeling of how is this still happening.

And I may have told you guys this, but about a month ago,

through the VA, I have like health care.

And I have a psychiatrist that prescribes me ADHD myths.

And I need a reorder actually.

(Laughter)

Hold on, I'm going to let you in on something that is so stressful.

I have a multitude of meds that I get for all kinds of stuff

because I'm just getting older.

And most of them, I can just like click a button

and it like reorders through the VA.

The one med that I can't do that with is my ADHD meds,

which I have to remember when I'm like seven days out from it

to get onto my app and send a message to my doctor

to prescribe these medication because it's a controlled med.

And I'm like, the one med that I need to remember to do this

is the one, it's -- (Laughter)

Anyway, so all of that.

But also take tick meds for PTSD.

But I haven't been going to therapy for a little,

probably a couple of years.

Had felt like I'd gotten some coping mechanisms.

We had done a lot of work and I felt good.

And about a month ago, I was like, I need to call a therapist.

My PTSD was just like, maxed.

And the symptom of my PTSD is hyper-vigilance, hyper-awareness.

So I will be in a place and think through a scenario,

like worst case scenario.

If something happens here, I have a plan of like,

here's how I'm going to stop it or here's how I'm going to get people out of here.

And it's everywhere.

So it's just everywhere I go.

And it was getting good.

And then our country happened.

And what's happening right now has just had me on high alert and hyper-vigilant.

And I was like, I need to go back to therapy.

So for about a month, I've been doing that because of the triggers that have been happening.

So when I talked to my therapist, she was like, you, everyone is coming back right now.

Because this is triggering.

And if I'm honest, there's so much to unpack.

I think what makes it really heavy for me right now is not just the violence,

the silence that's just followed it.

Silence from churches, from pastors.

People who love to speak loudly about truth until it becomes inconvenient.

And that silence kind of does something to you.

It makes me feel crazy for caring, like I'm overreacting, which I know I'm not.

Like my anger is unspiritual.

So let me, I'll say this clearly.

I think your anger makes sense.

Your grief makes sense.

And your frustration makes sense.

That's the time we're in right now.

And if you weren't feeling anything right now, that would actually be the concerning part to me.

And I think that's, that I so badly just want to be, yeah, I just want to jump and call out.

Like I'm so tired of hearing about pastors talking about revival when apparently it just means

like people showing up and singing a bunch of songs and having big emotional moments.

And meanwhile, like meanwhile we have a president's name who keeps showing up connected to pedophiles.

And so many pastors are saying nothing.

And I'm like, what, what are we doing church?

There's, there's no moral clarity, there's no outrage, there's no courage, just silence.

Or worse, like spiritual distraction, because I think that's what it is.

And I don't know how else to say this.

It just feels hypocritical as hell.

Because if the church can sing loudly but can't speak clearly, when real people are being harmed,

then something is deeply off.

All right, I don't want to turn this into a rant.

And so, so while we're here, I do want you to hear this at the arsenal.

We're not going to pretend that this stuff isn't happening.

We're not going to bypass pain with worship list.

We're not going to call numbness peace.

And we're not going to confuse silence with holiness.

This is a place where you are allowed to see clearly and to still be held and still carry your feelings.

Here's the, like, I guess tension I've been living with.

On one hand, if we don't name what's happening, I feel like we lose integrity.

On the other hand, if we stay in a constant state of outrage, we burn out.

It doesn't lead to justice, it just leads to blindness.

So the real question becomes, like, how do we stay awake without frying our nervous systems?

How do we keep caring without being consumed?

One of the things I've been asking my therapist is, all right, what part of this is like the bad part of PTSD?

Like hyper vigilance, hyper awareness, planning for things.

And what part of this is I have lived experience and I feel like I need to just at least have a plan.

And her response is like, well, if you're thinking about this all the time, then you're probably living in the world of your PTSD.

You're right to have some thoughts and some worries and some fears and make some plans.

But if you're focused on that, then that's going to be a problem for you.

We'll burn out.

And then when we burn out, we can't help anyone.

So trying to balance that has been life right now.

There's a kind of strange story in the Gospels that as I was studying for this, I kept going back to.

It's in Mark chapter 8.

Mark 8 · chapter mention

I'll just read it real quick and then we'll talk about it.

Mark chapter 8 verse 22 says, "They came to Bethsaida and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him.

Mark 8:22

He took the blind man by the hand and let him outside the village.

When he had spit on the man's eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, do you see anything?

A couple of years ago, there was a pastor that like spit on a guy's eyes, like rubbed it in.

There's a lot of controversy with it.

But it got them a lot of attention.

Hey, Mark, come here real quick.

I'm just kidding.

So when he had spit on the man's eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, do you see anything?

He looked up and said, I see people.

They look like trees walking around.

Once more, Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes, then his eyes were opened.

His sight was restored and he saw everything clearly.

Jesus sent him home saying, don't even go into the village.

So the interesting thing about the story is this is the only time in the Gospels where Jesus performs a healing that he has to go back and do it again.

That it doesn't take the first time.

This is the only time where it's like, okay, I kind of see and Jesus is like, let me fix that and he does it again.

Which is interesting because I grew up in a charismatic Pentecostal church where healing was like one of those things where people would be like, did your back hurt?

Always.

Let me pray for you.

Let me heal you.

And they pray.

How does it feel?

It still hurts.

Okay, let's pray again.

And I'm like, no, it's okay.

But this would be the verse that was quoted, the story that was quoted, right?

Jesus did this, it's the one time that this happened.

But as I come back to the Scripture, I think after years of relearning the new lens, this lens of love, seeing through the idea that life is focused.

Life's focus should be so much more about loving people here and being kind and caring here on earth and being here for others, not about getting somewhere when I die.

That we're literally supposed to be bringing heaven to earth.

I feel like I saw this story through a new lens.

So Jesus heals this blind man, he touches his eyes, it spits on him.

And the man says, I see people, but they look like trees walking around.

He can't see clearly yet.

And I love that this story shows this aspect because to me, I think it tells the truth that seeing clearly is often a process.

And partial sight isn't failure, it is part of the process.

I think a lot of us right now are seeing people like trees walking around.

Not because we're cruel, not because fear narrows our vision, or that anger simplifies or grief exhausts us like when the world feels unsafe, our bodies go into protection mode.

And the first thing we lose isn't belief, it's perception.

We stop seeing faces, we stop seeing threats, or we start seeing threats.

Categories, characters, place people into boxes, they look like trees walking around.

Just different types of trees that we've now labeled and put in.

And it's not a moral failure, but I think it's the nervous system just under strain trying to help us figure things out.

There's a pastor, theologian in Germany in the 30s and 40s.

I don't know if you know what's going on in the 30s and 40s in Germany, but he was there.

Same as Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and he's been really helpful for me lately.

Bonhoeffer had this insight where he said, paraphrasing it here, that judging others actually makes us blind.

While love does the opposite, the love illuminates, it allows us to see more clearly.

Jesus actually talks about this in Matthew.

He says, "Refuse to be a critic full of bias towards others, and judgment will not be passed on you.

For you'll be judged by the same standard that you've used to judge others.

The measurement you use on them will be used on you.

Why would you focus on the flaw in someone else's life and yet fail to notice the glaring flaws of your own?

This is in the Passion translation.

This is the story of the speck in the log.

Why are you focused on the log in your neighbor's eye, not the speck in yours, in the Passion?

It's been translated this way.

Why do you focus on the flaw in someone else's life and yet fail to notice the glaring flaws of your own?

How could you say to your friend, "Let me show you where you're wrong when you're guilty of even more?

You're being hypocritical and a hypocrite?

First acknowledge your own blind spots and deal with them.

And then you'll be capable of dealing with the blind spot of your friend."

And in verse 6 he says, "Who would hang earrings on a dog's ear or throw pearls in front of wild pigs?

They'll only trample on them under their feet and then turn around and tear you to pieces."

Why would you throw pearls in front of swine, which Jesus said?

They don't understand the value of that.

They'll trample on them and it's not going to help.

It's not like you're giving them a gift.

They don't care.

They'll trample on them and they're going to still attack you.

So why would you do that?

Well, here's, part of this is that metaphor, I think it works really well for us.

Jesus says here that we should focus on ourselves before we start focusing on flaws of others.

And the way that Bonhoeffer has kind of framed this, he said that when we live in judgment,

we don't just blind ourselves to other people, we blind ourselves to our own capacity for harm.

And to the grace that others are just as entitled to as we are.

We blind ourselves to this.

And it's kind of a sobering thought because it means blindness isn't always loud and hateful.

Sometimes it looks moral.

Sometimes it looks religious.

Sometimes it hides behind certainty.

And I think we're watching that kind of blindness play out in real time.

When abuse of power is met with silence.

When leaders talk loudly about revival but don't speak clearly about injustice.

When churches can gather crowds but won't name harm.

And for me, when I'm really, really angry with others, but I'm not working on that anger in me.

And this isn't neutrality, it's vision loss.

Bonhoeffer wasn't saying people stop thinking, he was saying that people stop seeing.

What's interesting, Bonhoeffer actually had a name for this.

When he was arrested, he was put in jail.

So Bonhoeffer was a pastor during the rise of Hitler, Nazi Germany.

And he spoke out against the Nazi occupation and the harm that they were doing, the Nazis taking over the churches.

And he was put in prison, and while he was in prison he wrote these letters.

He got put in prison because he was part of an assassination attempt on Adolf Hitler.

And they caught him and he got put in prison.

He was actually hung like two weeks or hanged.

He was hanged.

Two or three weeks before Hitler was actually taken out.

And so he died just before.

So from his letters from prison, he wrote, and it's how a book,

about what was happening with people in his country.

Where he said that people didn't just stop thinking, they stopped seeing.

And he had a name for it, it was actually the theory of stupidity.

And he got it stupidity but not in a way that we usually mean it.

He wasn't talking about intelligence, he was, he meant like a kind of moral blindness

that shows up when fear, power, or group pressure takes over.

People don't stop thinking, they stop perceiving.

They lose the ability to see themselves clearly, to see others as fully human and to recognize

when harm is being done.

Bonhoeffer actually says that you can't logic and reason someone out of stupidity.

Because they are a captive to their fear and group pressure.

You can't reason with them because it, and this is where Jesus says you can't throw pearls

before swine because they'll just step on it.

And then they'll tear you up.

You've probably had these conversations on Facebook or Instagram or around your family's table.

Like what are you talking about? You don't see this?

No, they don't see clearly.

And we all don't. There are things that we all don't see clearly.

Jesus warns us in Matthew 7 about it, about judging others.

That's where He says like, "Hey, focus on yourself."

Because judgment doesn't clarify vision, it distorts it.

And once we stop seeing clearly, it becomes very easy to reduce people, to symbols, to enemies,

to trees walking around.

And that doesn't mean that it's okay for people to hurt us and us just be like,

"Oh, that's all right." No, no, no.

But when you see clearly, you can still step back and look at what's behind it.

And actually see the system that needs to be torn down, not the people.

That are trapped within the system.

This was Bonhoeffer's theory.

So what do we do?

Because I think we need help to get us to a point where we can see more clearly,

to calm the nervous system, to bring things down to where we can start to look inwardly

and look at how can we fix and speak to my body that is telling me that something's not okay.

I think this is where this emotion of awe that we've been talking about becomes more than a feeling.

Like awe becomes medicine.

You guys have heard me talk about it.

The studies that they're finding is when you experience awe, it brings down heart rate,

cortisol levels.

It helps with inflammation in your body.

It is literally a healing emotion.

And not because it numbs us to reality,

but because it widens us to what we are connected to.

Like I said, it lowers cortisol.

It softens the body.

It reminds the nervous system that you're not alone.

You are not trapped.

There is more than just a threat.

Psychology's found that awe actually reduces defensiveness and increases compassion.

Not by telling us to be nicer because that doesn't work.

But by helping our bodies feel safe enough to stay open, to not isolate and close off.

And that matters because you can't fight for justice if you're completely fried.

You can't fight for justice if you think it's just you.

But when we begin to experience awe, it brings us into a place again where it lowers the ego.

Jonathan Hite says that it is the counterweight to ego.

To experience awe brings us into a place where it shrinks us down to see others around us.

That's why we become more compassionate and caring and generous.

Like this is one of those things that when you think about the awe of the Lord as the beginning of wisdom,

awe takes us to a place where we are compassionate and caring and generous and kind.

And we see other people as part of us as like a connected humanity.

It all begins to make sense.

At least for me.

Jesus says something really strange.

When people start to ask him about seeing the kingdom, how do we see this?

How do we experience the kingdom of God?

He says you have to become like a child.

Not childish, not naive, just open.

What about children? Children haven't learned how to look away yet.

They notice. They ask questions.

They say present.

I don't think Jesus was calling us to ignorance.

I think He was calling us to unarmored perception.

Bringing the walls down so we can see so that we are.

We are so focused on what those around us, those things that we can be a part of where love is happening,

compassion is happening.

I think Jesus is saying just hate.

If you want to experience the kingdom, and again this goes back to my new lens, right?

The theory, the lens that we've all been talking about.

If the kingdom of God, if heaven is supposed to be here now, then the life of a Christian,

the life of a person who is in Christ, the life of a person who is living from love should be

so focused on being compassionate and kind and loving and caring here.

Now, that's what we look like.

Because when you look at Jesus and the gospel, that's what He looked like.

It was not about just being a perfect non-sining person.

It was how kind and compassionate and generous and caring Jesus was.

He wasn't calling us to ignorance.

He was calling us to unarmored perception.

Taking off the armor.

Be like a child.

So I'll say this kind of clearly and gently as I can.

You don't need to shut down your anger.

You don't need to shut down your grief.

You don't need to pretend that things are okay.

But you also don't need to live in a constant state of alert.

It's just not good for us physically, biologically, emotionally, psychologically.

It's not good for us.

So awe gives us a way to rest without disengaging.

To recharge so we can keep showing up.

To breathe so that we can keep loving.

To widen our vision so we don't turn people into trees walking around.

You don't have to go out into the woods.

I know like Daniel and Brittany talked about just experiencing like awe right where you're at.

Like in your normal everyday life.

With people around you, like I said, people being kind and compassionate to other human beings.

It just feels good.

Walking outside and actually like taking a breath and just looking and seeing the beauty of nature.

Or one of the ways that I'm seeing it now is like you do this a lot of times when you go to other cities.

Like when I travel to another city, I love to see all the cool like architecture and like all this stuff.

And then the other day, I may have told you this already.

But the other day, we're, Monty and I were driving through downtown.

We were looking for something. I don't remember.

But we were driving through downtown. I was like, I've never, what is that building? That is cool.

Like, what is that? And it was like this, it's a federal bill like an old post office federal building.

Did you guys know this exists downtown?

Yeah. Right by the Alamo. Yeah. It's like, look at this. This is here. This is cool.

And it was those moments of like, man, somebody built this thing and somebody put this together.

Look how like, but it is, that's perception, right?

I've driven past that building so many times, but I never saw it.

It's pulling off the blinders and being able to be here and be perceptive to see things clearly around us.

Now we turn that to people. We don't want to see people like trees walking around.

How do we see people more clearly? We don't want to see people buy the labels that we put on them or they put on themselves.

How do we see people as human beings that need love and compassion and kindness?

That we can say this is fear that is driving this.

This year, we said that we were calling ourselves into a year of awe.

And not like as a vibe or like branding, although we should make some shirts.

But, but as resistance, resistance to numbness, resistance to fear, resistance to blindness,

a commitment to keep our eyes open and our hearts soft in a world that keeps trying to harden us.

So maybe the invitation this week isn't to fix anything.

It might just be to pause, to breathe, to notice what's tightening inside of you.

And to let, ah, remind your body that you're still alive.

You're still capable of love because justice needs people who can see clearly.

And learning to see again, especially right now, might be one of the most faithful things that we can do.

It's a process. Like Jesus said, judgment, it blinds us to see others clearly.

And I, I got to be done.

I'm going to acknowledge this right now because I think this is another thing.

I know that for a lot of us, it feels like I'm saying, hey, you got to let them off the hook.

Because a lot of people here that are hurting, that are like, feel like you are a target or attacked.

And, and maybe it feels like, I don't say, hey, victim blaming.

That's what I'm saying. You are right to feel anger, grief, worry.

They're all real emotions.

What I'm saying is, if we live in those and we operate from those only,

it will not be healthy for you and for me.

It, it will tear us up.

So how do we step back, slow down, and experience awe?

Let our bodies remember that we are live, that we are capable of love, that we have the ability to care for people,

to not see them as trees or as labels, but to see them as human beings.

Because when you make that shift in your mind, a lot of times anger will turn to compassion.

Like sad, like I'm so sad for you.

Like you are living in this place where you think that this is how you have to live.

The fear is driving you.

The only way for us to fight for justice is for us to see clearly.

To see humans clearly. So this week, slow down, take a breath,

remind your body that you are alive, and find places where you can experience awe,

even if it's just walking outside and feeling the breeze on your face.

And remembering that you are part of this world.

There's a lot of work to do, which just means there's a lot of love to give.

So go love well, because it's who we're made to be.

I love you guys. We'll see you next week.