A Father's Heart

for Father's Day.

It's got a little message for all of our fathers, and if you'd like a sermon outline or like to borrow one of our Bibles to follow along, just raise your hand.

Our ushers would be happy to help you.

By the way, at the end we have a special gift for all of our fathers who are here today, so you'll be receiving one of these at the cost of the church.

Well, how well do you know your father?

A teacher once posed this math question to her first grade class If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another dollar, how many dollars would you have?

The little boy raises his hand and says I'd have one dollar.

The teacher said that's wrong.

You don't know your math.

He said you don't know my father.

Well, today I'd like to focus on the one thing that determines not only the kind of father we are, but the kind of person we've become.

That one thing is the condition of our heart.

While my message today is directed to fathers, it really does apply to anyone who has a heart.

So hopefully we'll all gain something from this.

I'm not referring to our physical heart, although that sometimes needs attention.

I know some of you have had situations with your physical heart.

But in the Bible our heart refers to who we are as a person.

Proverbs 23.7 says as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

Or Proverbs 27.19, as in water, face reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man.

The Scripture goes on to urge all of us to guard our hearts because from our heart flow all the issues of life.

Proverbs 4.23, above all else, says everything else.

guard your heart, your inner person, your desires, values, convictions, guarded, for from it flow the springs of life.

Proverbs 4.23,.

That verse really does tell us.

The condition of our inner heart affects everything How we respond to people and our circumstances, what we truly value in life and why we do the things we do.

All functions of our heart.

While anyone can make external behavioral changes to their life, unless our heart is involved nothing really changes Really.

You're still the same person you always were.

So if you want to become a better person, a better father, we must begin at the core, with our hearts.

To help us with that, i'm going to go back and look at the Gospel of Mark, chapter 10.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

Mark, chapter 10, we see Jesus teaching on three relationships in our life that are affected by the condition of our heart, our marriage, our children and our relationship to Jesus himself All three very important relationships in our life.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

we see Jesus address in Mark, chapter 10.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

Let me deal with them one at a time.

The first condition of our heart will affect our marriage.

The seeds of divorce are sown long before the certificate is ever written, while the Pharisees were looking for a loophole to get out of their marriage.

Jesus pinpoints the problem.

It has nothing to do with externals or personalities.

It has everything to do with our heart.

Mark 10, 1-9,.

Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea across the Jordan.

Again.

Crowds of people came to him, as was his custom.

He taught them.

Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?

And Jesus said what did Moses command you?

Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.

Well, it was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you that law.

But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female.

For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife And the two will become one flesh.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.

Divorce begins when our hearts specifically here referring to husbands start to grow cold and hard.

Secular studies have shown that one of the primary indicators of marriage failure is when one spouse starts treating the other with contempt.

It's a sign of a hard heart.

You see, instead of working on our problems like the Pharisees, we just want to send them away.

A hard heart does a whole lot of damage to not only our spiritual life and our marriage, but our entire life.

That's what we're going to talk about today.

Proverbs 28, 14,.

How blessed is the man who fears the Lord.

Fears the Lord always.

But he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.

What are the signs that we may have a hard heart?

I want you to take this spiritual EKG.

I took it basically failed it, but I want you to take it.

Okay, here it is Hardness of heart, ekg, spiritual EKG.

Hardness of heart has many manifestations, but usually it all begins with pride.

That's where our hardness starts, our pride.

Proverbs 18, 12,.

Before destruction, the heart of man is proud, but humility goes before honor.

So pride, arrogance, stubbornness, all signs of a hard heart.

You know what else is.

Hurtful words are a sign of a hard heart, from the words of Jesus in Luke 6.45,.

He says the good man, out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what's good, and the evil man, out of the evil treasure, brings forth what is evil, for his mouth speaks what is in his heart.

Hurtful words, pride, hurtful words.

Another sign on the EKG is unbelief, which means we are trusting in ourselves, our own wisdom, and not spending really any time with the Lord in consulting his wisdom, his word.

Jeremiah 17.5,.

Thus says the Lord cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes his flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.

Hebrews 3.12,.

Take care, brethren.

He's telling the believers there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God, and we're all in danger of that, based on what's going on inside.

Well, that leads to the next one on the EKG bitterness, sign of a very hard heart.

Bitterness, jealousy, selfish ambition all related indicate a hard heart.

James 3.14,.

If you have bitter jealousy, selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant There's our word pride again and lie against the truth.

You can't stay in these modes and have any kind of meaningful relationship with anybody.

Next, on our EKG spiritual EKG, biblical EKG is any unconfessed sin is a sign of a hardened heart.

You're just holding on to it, not making it right, not confessing it to the Lord.

You believe you're right, you know it's sin, but you're not going to admit that.

Psalm 66.18 says if I hold wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear.

It affects my relationships with the Lord first and with everybody else Finally.

I'll stop here because it's getting too convicting, at least it was for me.

The final dial on our hardened heart EKG is a lack of generosity.

It's a sign of a hardened heart Hording, staying, protecting, and Deuteronomy 15.7.

Listen to this If there's a poor man with you, one of your brothers, in any of your towns and your land, which the Lord, your God, is giving you, you shall not harden your heart nor close your hand from helping your brother.

So how does your spiritual EKG look so far?

Well, we started with our marriages.

Heart-heart effects all of our relationships, but we start with our marriage.

The second thing we see in Mark, chapter 10, is that the condition of our heart will affect also our relationship to children.

Mark 10 · chapter mention

Mark 10 goes right from the marriage relationship to relating to children.

It's interesting how it just flows through this chapter Marriage, children, jesus, heart.

Mark 10, 13 to 16,.

People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them.

When Jesus saw this he was indignant.

There weren't too many times in the gospels when Jesus saw this emotion.

But he said to them Let the children come to me, don't hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.

Truly, i tell you, anyone who doesn't receive the kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.

He took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

While the heart is not specifically mentioned in this passage, it can be assumed here from the context, because the heart is the source of all that happens in our relationships.

Jesus was very upset that he saw his own disciples being treated this way a hindrance, a bother, an obstacle.

Actions of pushing children away indicate a fundamental heart problem.

Actions that draw children in reflect a good heart.

Where God's spirit is leading.

In fact, the last book of the Old Testament, god is concerned about the hearts of fathers and children, how that relationship is going.

In Malachi 4, verse 6, when Elijah comes, says he will restore the hearts of fathers to their children so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse.

Malachi 4:6

God takes this very seriously.

But notice our relationships, even with our children, are a function of our heart.

In hard hearts are no place in any relationship There's.

Your kids need to know in verbal and demonstrable ways that you love them unconditionally.

I know that's hard sometimes because they're going to do stuff that's going to really shake you, but they need to know that even if they fail miserably, you will always be there to help pick up the pieces afterwards.

That's unconditional love.

You don't have to prove what they do, you have to love them to the very end.

Third relationship affected by the condition of our heart we see in Mark 10 is next our relationship to Christ as his disciple.

Mark 10, 17-31.

As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him.

Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?

Why do you call me good?

No one is good except God alone.

You know the commandments You shall not murder, shall not commit adultery, not steal or give false testimony.

You shall not defraud and honor your father or mother, teacher.

All these I've kept since I was a boy.

Just looked at him and loved him.

One thing you lack Go, sell everything you have, give it to the poor and you'll have treasure in heaven, and then come and follow me.

At this the man's face fell.

He went away sad because he was very rich.

Am I rich or Jesus?

While trying to project an image of a commitment to God in his life by following the letter of the law, jesus quickly exposed the true condition of his heart.

Very quickly And really.

The true nature of a person's heart is exposed when confronted with a simple choice Which love in your life trumps all others, jesus or blank?

That's what this man is facing.

What's really in your heart, your true heart?

What would you give everything else for?

Jesus said in Matthew 6, 24, no one can serve two masters or love two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he'll be devoted to the one and despise the other.

He can only serve God and wealth.

He can only serve one God.

A heart for God that is partial and not whole reflects a serious heart problem when it comes to a relationship with God, because he's an all or nothing God.

He tolerates no rivals, never did.

You shall have no other God before him.

Jesus made that clear too in the great commandment, the first and greatest Matthew 22, 36, 38.

He said to him you shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind.

So what do you love more, jesus or blank?

What is your heart telling you?

The truth is, when our heart for God is healthy, pretty much all other relationships are going to be healthy.

That's where it really has to start a relationship with God.

In fact, there was a point in the Old Testament Moses' ministry to the children of Israel came out of Egypt Before they go into the Promised Land.

The people are all excited.

The generation that didn't believe God passed away.

Now their children, grandchildren, are ready to go into the Promised Land and they make commitment to the Lord.

We're going to follow you just like we did today.

You are holy.

No other God, as for me in my house, will serve the Lord.

That's what they're doing right before they go in, and God's listening to them, and you know what he says doing it with me, 529.

Oh, that they had such a heart in them always that they would fear me and keep all my commandments, that it would be well with them and their sons forever.

Nothing else would be all right.

Well, how can we cultivate a healthy heart?

So I want to go to next.

We need to understand, first of all, that only God can purify, cleanse and transform hearts.

We can't change anybody's heart We can't even change our own really But he can.

We see it in the Scripture.

He turns hearts.

But the Scriptures really do say that there are things we can do that will cultivate a healthy heart in our lives.

A healthy heart starts with our primary relationship to God.

If that's right, like I said, everything else is going to be okay.

So here are four important healthy heart choices we must make regularly to watch over and guard our heart with all diligence.

First, we've got to keep our heart clean through confession of our sin to God.

Don't wait.

If you know you've sinned, you need to come before God and confess it, because the promise is 1 John 1.9,.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If you remember, that's a very important verse, because God says if you confess your sins, i am faithful and just to forgive your sins and cleanse you from all unrighteousness.

What's interesting?

he doesn't say.

It doesn't say God is faithful and merciful to forgive your sins.

He's faithful and just Why?

Why does it say because Jesus already died for your sins and just.

It'd be unjust to punish both of you.

Anyway, keep your heart clean through confession of sin.

Second, we must keep our heart strong through prayer to God.

A vital prayer life is essential for a healthy heart.

Luke 18.1,.

This is something Jesus was concerned about with his disciples.

Here's how he says it Luke 18.1,.

He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not lose heart.

Lose, their heart becomes weak.

Don't sacrifice your prayer life to God.

Third, want a healthy heart.

We must keep our heart tender and soft through humility.

I'm telling you generosity and serving others.

A tender heart.

I'm going to read a passage Luke 11.39 to 41.

I've always found very interesting.

He's talking to very hard-hearted religious people, religious leaders, the Pharisees.

He's trying to get them to see all your externals are fantastic, but you're not dealing with your heart.

This is just amazing.

He gives them.

You want to really change your heart?

Let me show you how you do it.

Here's what he says Luke 11.39 to 41.

The Lord said to him Now you, pharisees, clean the outside of the cup and platter.

I mean, they're all religious and external, their image is great, they're very holy and religious, but you know what?

Inside you, you're full of robbery, wickedness.

You foolish ones.

Did not he who made the outside make the inside also?

Then he gives them the how to clean the inside.

I've always found this fascinating.

He says but give that which is within as charity, and then all things will be clean for you inside.

Outside.

What he's saying is don't underestimate the power of generosity to do a deep cleansing in your heart.

Give till it hurts, don't hold back.

It does something to our heart.

It's the one place where Jesus actually says you want to know how to really help your heart be healthy.

Give, give it with charity means I expect nothing in return from God or anybody outside.

Nothing.

Charity I'm giving it away Has a powerful effect in a person's heart.

It's a main line See kind of hinted at before in heart problems deep inside, selfishness, pride, lack of generosity, all right.

Finally, for health, here we must keep our heart pure and genuine through two things I think the scriptures are clear.

First of all, make sure our hearts are totally surrendered to our devotion to Jesus Christ.

Matthew 1129,.

Jesus said take my yoke upon you and learn from me.

Now when he says take my yoke, he says when you get in my yoke, picture an oxen with this harnessing thing on.

That's a yoke, he's tied into that.

Well, the oxen is not directing things anymore, he's under the submission.

He's in submission to the one who's driving the cart.

That's what he means.

Take my yoke on you.

Listen to me, obey me, give me permission to rule your life, because you know why.

I'm gentle, i'm not going to demean and roughshod over where I lead you and direct you.

I'm humble in heart And you're going to find rest for your souls.

So, surrendering to Christ absolutely primary in beginning to have a healthy relationship, starting with the Lord.

And second, to keep that going, we must keep our heart pure and genuine through a total commitment to know and internalize God's Word in our life.

Psalm 3731,.

The law of his God is in his heart.

His steps don't slip.

Psalm 119, 9 and 11.

I mean this is cover to cover.

The word of God has a powerful, powerful effect in keeping our hearts healthy, especially in our relationship to the Lord.

How can a young man keep his way pure By keeping it according to your word?

with all my heart I've sought you.

Don't let me wander from your commandments, your word, your word.

I've treasured in my heart that I might not sin against you And I love what Jesus said in the parable of the seed and sowers.

Where the seed is the Word of God, he says Luke 8.15,.

But the seed in the good soil.

These are the ones who've heard the word of God in an honest and good, healthy heart.

When they hear it, or they read it or they study it, they hold it fast, they're internalizing it And guess what?

They bear fruit with perseverance.

What comes out of their life is wonderful.

But if you have a hard heart, i'm telling you what comes out of your life isn't so wonderful.

It's very crucial.

The condition of our heart, of hearts, our inner person, determines the kind of person we are, And the condition of our heart affects everything, especially relationships in our life Our spouse, our children, our God Again, proverbs 4.23,.

Above all else, above everything else, watch over your heart, for from it flow the springs of life.

How's your heart When I did this study and I did my own spiritual EKG.

I had some work to do.

I had to remind myself okay, i see that and I need to make some healthy heart choices.

I want you to do that too.

I urge you to do two things, especially dads.

First, check your heart.

Don't assume everything's okay on the outside.

Everything's okay because it's not.

Look at the heart.

He evaluates based on your heart.

He listens to your heart.

Check your heart.

Let God do a divine EKG.

I mean you just go to the Lord in a humble, broken listening posture And you pray what David did in Psalm 139, 23, and 24.

Search me, oh God, and know my heart, try me, know my anxious thoughts, see if there's any hurtful way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

What do I need to do?

Do I need to ask somebody for forgiveness?

Do I need to forgive somebody?

Do I need to surrender something to you completely?

I may need to hold it in my heart.

What do you want me to do To have a healthy heart that beats with yours?

Second thing based on some of these suggestions, begin to cultivate healthy heart choices and habits.

Confession of sin We sin every day.

Prayer I'll have more to say about prayer in a few weeks, but I'm not going to take time today.

Humility and generosity I used to think early on in my ministry.

I confess I was one proud dude, made a lot of mistakes And I thought I got to be strong.

Because strength, i don't want to be weak, and God taught me the joy of just Lord.

I got nothing I don't have.

There's nothing good in me except you.

I never want to assume or think that my pride, just making me feel strong, is better than what I can have with you And the joy you give me when I humble myself.

Because the scripture says those who humble themselves he gives grace and the proud he casts down.

It's a repeated refrain in the scripture Surrender to Jesus, immerse yourself in the word of God.

All healthy heart habits Okay, in the best place to begin.

Like I said, it all is going to focus on our relationship with God First and foremost.

If that's right, more than likely all other relationships are going to be okay.

A healthy heart choice in our relationship with God for everyone begins by believing in Jesus, god's son, who died for our sins, then rose again to give life to everyone who believes.

He comes then and inhabits our hearts by faith in the person of the Holy Spirit.

You can read about it in Galatians 4.

But let me read Ephesians 3.

This is Paul's prayer for the Ephesians.

He says for this reason, i bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with the power through his spirit in the inner man, your heart, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, maybe able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

That's my prayer, for not only me but for you, for our entire church be filled up with the fullness of God, christ dwelling in our hearts and the fruit of that coming out of our mouths, out of our lives Healthy hearts.

Let's pray, father.

Thank you today.

For all the fathers who are here today, and even those who may be watching online, i ask you to watch over them, watch over us, ask for your blessing in their marriages and families, your protection over them.

I know the enemy, the devil wants to destroy it.

All Enemy loves hard hearts and contempt.

But I thank you most of all that through faith in Jesus, we can call you our Father And we appeal to you today, as Abba Father, to examine our hearts.

Show us what we need, show us where we miss the mark, please.

We ask you.

You can do anything.

You can give us a right heart and lead us in the way everlasting.

I pray for this in Jesus' name, amen.