A Good Good Father

The worship team sounds fantastic.

Thank you, guys for that beautiful music.

Happy Father's Day again to all our fathers here.

Because it's Father's Day, I'm going to focus on a father in the New Testament, in the Gospel of Luke.

And if you'd like a sermon outline you didn't get one, just raise your hand.

Our ushers would be happy to hand you one.

Maybe some of you here have wondered whether or not you are a father.

Someone put together a helpful checklist so you can evaluate to tell whether you're a father or not.

You know you are a father if you have children.

It's a dead giveaway.

Okay, I'm just saying Other signs of being a father.

If the TV remote never leaves your hand, you're probably a father.

If you spend more time fixing bikes than riding them, you're probably a father.

And if you get socks and ties for Christmas and your birthday, you're probably a father.

And if your kids want to get a second opinion from your mother, that's probably because you're the father.

If your path through the house is booby-trapped by Legos and other toys, it means you're probably a father.

As any father will tell you, being a father is not easy, but it is a source of great joy the Lord has provided for us, and today I want to look at a father that Jesus talks about, who can teach us some qualities of being a good father.

I'm going to read the passage.

It's a little bit long.

Many of you are familiar with it.

It's a passage about the prodigal son in Luke, chapter 15.

Luke 15 · chapter mention

If you brought your Bible and you want to follow along, feel free to do that, but I'd like to get us into this story once again so you hear Jesus' description of this amazing story.

Really, the prodigal son, luke 15, beginning in verse 11.

A man had two sons.

Beginning in verse 11.

A man had two sons.

The younger of them said to his father Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me.

So he divided his wealth between them and not many days later the younger son gathered everything together, went on a journey into a distant country and there he squandered his estate with loose living.

Now, when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country and he began to be impoverished.

So he went and hired himself out to the citizens of that country and he sent him into the fields to feed swine, and he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating and no one was giving anything to him.

But when he came to his senses he said how many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger.

I will get up, go to my father and say to him Father, I've sinned against heaven.

In your sight I'm no longer worthy to be called your son.

Make me as one of your hired men.

So he got up, came to his father, but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

And the son said to him and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

And the son said to him Father, I've sinned against heaven and in your sight I am no longer worthy.

I'm no longer worthy to be called your son.

But the father said to his slaves Quickly bring out the best robe, put it on him, put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet and bring the fatted calf, kill it and let us eat and celebrate, For this son of mine was dead and has come to life again.

He was lost and has been found and they began to celebrate.

Well, now his older brother was in the field.

And when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing and he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be.

And he said to him your brother has come, your father's killed the fatted calf and because he's received him back safe and sound, but he became angry, was not willing to go in, and his father came out, began pleading with him.

But he answered and said to his father look, for so many years I've been serving you, I've never neglected a command of yours and yet you've never given me a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends.

But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf through him.

And he said to him Son, you've always been with me, all that is mine is yours.

But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live and was lost and has been found.

This is just an amazing story.

I'm always touched by it.

Normally our focus in this passage is on the prodigal son, but today I want to focus on the prodigal's father.

We can learn a lot about being a good father from this very wise father.

Today we're going to look at the challenges of being a father, the character of a father and a glimpse of our heavenly father.

Being a father comes with several challenges.

I want to just walk through here real quickly today.

The first challenge of being a father is that our kids will grow up.

That means we only have a limited time to impact our kids' lives.

And the prodigal grew up and when he was an adult he decided to leave, make his own life, and at that point, for good or for bad, the father's impact is going to be lived out in that child's life.

We only have a limited amount of time.

They're going to grow up.

What that means?

Well, initially it looked like the prodigal's father didn't have much of a good impact, but the story isn't over yet and because we only have a limited amount of time to impact our kids' life this comes through loud and clear we must, while we have them, invest the time, energy, love, example, discipline, instruction when our kids are are young, in order to help our kids grow into responsible earthly citizens and responsible godly citizens.

We only have a little bit of time.

The second challenge of being a father is that not only will our children inherit our genetics.

Not only will our children inherit our genetics, they're also going to inherit our good and bad personal tendencies.

That means we better take a good hard look at ourselves, dads, and ask the question do I want my kids to pick up on this?

Because they will.

They will.

You don't even have to say anything.

Please don't say now, don't do as I do, do as I teach.

That means nothing to them.

Your example is your primary teaching and instruction.

Ask yourself do I want my kids to pick up on this, to be like this, to act like this?

We can't help it.

We're going to pass ourselves on to them Same tendencies.

I look at my father and there were times I said I'm never gonna be like him.

I will never.

He could never admit he was wrong about anything.

But guess what?

I'm just like that.

I hate admitting I'm wrong Because of pride.

The Lord has had to teach me deeply about that tendency I picked up.

It's pride.

We pass on who we are as a person, our attitudes, our idiosyncrasies, our personality traits and our habits.

I could tell you a lot of stories where I see my kids have inherited from us, from me especially, especially my son.

When my kids were young, they used to have a lot of fun with me making fun of me.

See, I had a lot of fun with me making fun of me.

I had a lot of weird idiosyncrasies.

Of course none of you would recognize that, but one thing I liked to do it was just they used to make fun of me the night before I had to get up, go to work and such.

I'd get everything, every detail, ready in the morning, because I can't think clearly in the morning, I'm going to forget something.

So I'd lay it out, I'd write lists, I'd put my little vitamins in a little thing, I'd have my clothes just right, everything like that.

And they used to mock me, they used to play games with me, they'd hide my vitamins in the morning and then they would laugh like crazy.

Okay, here's what's interesting.

Not too long ago, my son confessed Dad, I'm doing the same thing you did.

I think that's a wise thing to do.

Dad, I'm doing the same thing you did, laying out all my.

I think that's a wise thing to do.

Wow, that's really good.

Okay, thank you so much for that.

Well, they're going to pick it up.

We also pass on what we believe, our faith, our convictions.

If you're a racist, they're going to pick it up.

We're going to pass on how we handle life.

How do you respond to suffering?

How do you respond when something happens you don't like?

How do we handle conflict, disagreement?

Do we do it in a healthy way?

They're picking it up.

They're going to be just like that.

It's time to evaluate ourselves.

It doesn't matter if your children are home or not.

God's still working on every one of us and our character to be like him, which we'll talk about in a minute.

The third challenge of being a father is every child is different.

They're not all the same, and if you have more than one child, it doesn't take you long to realize that the prodigal son and his older brother were very different people.

The younger son was an adventurous risk taker.

The older son was a quiet, obedient rule keeper.

Do you have those kind of kids?

We do?

The younger son expressed his emotions first by demanding his inheritance and taking off, then by crying out for forgiveness to his father.

The older son kept his emotions in.

He harbored resentment.

They're different.

What that means, we better recognize that, because our ministry to them as a dad is going to be different.

They have different needs, different ways of experiencing love.

We must, in a sense, then, become students of them, learn their personality, their needs, desires, weaknesses, strengths, their love language.

Some kids feel loved when you give them a gift.

It means so much.

Or words of affirmation.

They just soak it up.

Some kids a love language of affirmations or serving them in some way.

There are five love languages.

The book that came out was really an eye-opener in our family, both in our marriage and for our kids.

We just thought, oh, everybody's just saying no, they're not.

We become students of them.

Some kids are quiet, introverts and shy.

You need to treat them in a different way than the kids who are extroverts and want to be the center of attention.

Kids also differ in how to discipline them In our family, you know.

Differ in how to discipline them In our family, you know.

Sometimes just a word, just a word, that's it.

But not all of them responded with just a word.

Sometimes we had to discipline them differently because of who they were.

We had to do things like timeouts or even more severe measures.

Every child is different.

A good rule of thumb let me give you a hint, something I'm still trying to learn Good rule of thumb in correcting your children is to look for positives to reward.

It's so easy just to focus on the negative.

We see the negative, it's going to be judged and punished, and if that's all they're getting, watch out.

I've heard this recommended Shoot for a ratio of 3 to 1.

Three positives to one negative.

Let me recommend that I don't do this often, but let me recommend this, not just for parenting but for the Christian life.

Sam Crabtree wrote this book, practicing Affirmation Practicing Affirmation, and he goes through this idea of we need to be affirmed.

Children need it especially.

The fourth challenge of being a father that we see in this story especially is we need to know when to let go, and that's never easy.

I speak from experience.

I'm sure the father of the prodigal son agonized, worried about his son leaving.

We will have to let them go eventually, trusting that we've done all we could to prepare them for what they're going to face.

And you know what?

It's not getting any easier and it's not getting more Christian out there.

But in letting them go, two things we need to do we must trust God for them.

If you've dedicated your children to God, they're his.

Trust him with them and then don't stop praying for them, don't ever stop.

Whatever you've invested in them, God will use, it, will stay with them, just like we saw with the prodigal son.

At some point he came to his senses, he realized what it's like at home and he returned.

The fifth challenge of being a father and this one was a real surprise to me challenge of being a father this one was a real surprise to me.

So children leave.

Trust God, you pray for them.

The fifth challenge of being a father is being a father never ends.

I thought, oh, my kids are gone now, that job's done now.

Thank you so much.

Empty Nesters we're Empty Nesters.

Oh no.

Phone call after phone call, need after need, would you pray for this?

Would you pray for that?

We're still parenting.

This was a big surprise, actually, to me.

I thought we've done everything we could now get out in love.

Our kids will still need our counsel, our encouragement, our prayers.

They still need our presence.

They still need our counsel, our encouragement, our prayers.

They still need our presence.

They still need our support and I'm glad God has shown us this and this is why you see this the prodigal's father.

Well, let's move to that right now.

The character of this guy, the most important quality I think a father can have and this is my opinion because of how I see it in the Scripture with God, I think one of the most important qualities a father can have is what the Bible calls steadfast love.

What does that mean?

It never stops.

Never stops, no matter what.

That's how.

God's love is to us unconditional, steady.

Loving our children steadfastly means we're going to love them like God loves us.

We're still sinners in relationship to our Heavenly Father.

He's not cutting us loose.

His steadfast love endures forever.

The scripture says and when our kids fail and disappoint us, as they often will, steadfast love means we will mourn their poor choices.

It's a great biblical truth we see especially in the Old Testament.

When Israel failed, when they sinned, god instructed prophets like Jeremiah go and mourn for these people, lament what they've done, don't be happy.

Mourn.

Steadfast love means we're going to stay with them, help them pick up the pieces, like God does with us.

And when they are young, we discipline them appropriately, reaffirm our love to them.

When they're adults, like the prodigal, we pray, we wait, we hope this father of the prodigal it's just amazing he's waiting, hoping he could see him a long way off, expecting.

And when they repent, we restore them.

Loving our children steadfastly means that, and when they repent, we restore them.

Loving our children steadfastly means that when they make good and excellent choices, we celebrate and rejoice with them.

Loving our children steadfastly means when their priorities are misplaced, we console them and guide them to a place of peace and joy, like the prodigal's father did for his older son, reassuring him of their relationship together.

Of course, all this leads to the last point where this passage, I believe, was taking us.

Jesus is taking us to give us a glimpse of our Heavenly Father.

It's like this the context of Jesus' story in Luke 15 is about the things that are lost A lost sheep, a lost coin and a lost person.

The whole focus of these lost things is on finding them and celebrating when they're found.

Jesus ends the lost sheep, the lost coin stories two times, with a parallel conclusion about God's response to finding lost people sons who've gone astray, sons who failed miserably Luke 15, 6, 7.

When he comes home, the father calls together his friends and neighbors saying Rejoice with me, I found my sheep that was lost.

I tell you that, in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 righteous persons who need no repentance.

Same with the lady who found the coin.

When she's found the coin, she calls together her friends and neighbors saying Rejoice with me, I found the coin.

She calls together her friends and neighbors saying rejoice with me, I've found the coin I'd lost.

In the same way, I tell you there's joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.

And in the lost son story about the prodigal, jesus wants us to know while the father has let him go, he hasn't given up hope for his return, knowing that his son knows how much the Father loves him.

Jesus knows that when we fail and make poor choices, we're going to feel guilty.

We're going to feel like the prodigal son, guilty and unworthy.

But here's what Jesus wants us to know that God's love never fails.

It triumphs over our failings and when we do repent, which god is expecting our relationship of sonship, of being his child, is fully restored.

Not just fully, I mean restored.

In fact, this guy's sonship was never lost in the first place.

He's always his son, even though we, like the prodigal, may feel like we're not your son now.

Ah, just call me a slave.

Father says no way, you're my son.

That never is going to go away, Son or daughter.

So here are some things Jesus, I think, wants us to know about our heavenly father from the example of this good father.

From the example of this good father, notice that, looking at the pattern from this father in Luke 15, he doesn't argue with us.

He lets us make choices, and some of them aren't good.

And when we sin against him and fail miserably, he's waiting.

He's never going away.

He's waiting, you know why?

Because he knows and prays and hopes that our sin and our failures can teach us and teach us something about his love and help us deepen our relationship with him.

When the prodigal returned I hope you caught this their relationship was changed, it was deepened.

Can you imagine this son feeling like just treat me like a slave, I don't deserve anything, I'm unworthy?

No, you're my son.

Get the robe, get the ring, get the shoes, get the calf.

It's deepened.

That's how God will use it.

The prodigal's heart was drawn closer, deeper, in gratitude for his father's love.

Our only father has compassion on us.

He does not condemn us for our sin and trouble We've caused him and us.

He does not condemn us for our sin and trouble we've caused him and us.

Listen carefully to the New Testament, romans 8.

When we believe in Jesus, the scriptures say several times God adopts us as his own children legally, spiritually and in every way.

He adopts us as his own children legally, spiritually and in every way.

He adopts us Romans 8, 15 and 16.

I'd like to just preach another hour, but here.

But no, I won't.

Paul says to these Roman believers you have not received a spirit of slavery leading you to fear again.

You've received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out Abba, father, the Spirit himself testifies with our spirit.

We are children of God and because we are God's sons and daughters in Christ, he says there's no condemnation for you because of Jesus.

You have his righteousness now and all you'll get from me is compassion.

Romans 8.1,.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Finally, like Jesus' previous two parables and the prodigal's father, god rejoices, rejoices, all heaven rejoices when we come back in a spirit of humility and repentance.

And the scripture says you know what?

If anybody does sin, any believer does sin we have an advocate with the Father and if we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Welcome back.

I know this is a hard day for many people and the reason is you may not have had a good father.

Just the opposite, perhaps and the unfortunate thing is I know what happens is we tend to project what our earthly father was like onto our heavenly father and conclude it's just the way our brain works.

We conclude well, god must be like that, too harsh, mean, violent.

I know this is a hard day for many, but we need to know the truth.

The scripture can help us know the truth about who our Heavenly Father is, what he's like.

The truth as he relates to his children and it may be nothing like your father has related to you.

In fact, you need to check the scripture to compare that.

Where is he like him and where is he not?

What's the truth?

And the reason Jesus tells this story, I think, is to show us what our Heavenly Father is like, so us earthly fathers can know how to be like Him, which we've talked about today.

I trust the Lord will use this in our lives as fathers to move us closer to reflecting His image to our children.

You know, it's really, really important that you know God dads, moms, children that you know God not just as your creator, but as your heavenly father.

It's huge, and that's what we learn from the gospel, how that happens.

How learn from the gospel how that happens, how he adopts us.

The only way you can know God as your Father, heavenly Father, is to believe in Jesus' Son, whom your Heavenly Father sent to save you, bring you back, bring you to him.

And you know where that happened At the cross.

1 Peter 3.18 says For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just, for the unjust, so that he might bring us to God.

He was put to death in the flesh, but he's made alive in the spirit.

I urge you today, if you've never done this, to open your heart to God and believe in Jesus, his son, who died for your sins so you, he could adopt you into his family.

Listen to what Jesus said, john 14, 6.

I am the way, the truth and the life.

No one comes to the Father, but through me.

Let's pray, father, thank you that your beloved son, who is our elder brother, is also our Savior, who loved us with an everlasting love and when we were lost and dead in our sins, he came and saved us.

Would you please help us, who are fathers, to be like you, our Heavenly Father, and help us to learn what it means to steadfastly love our children like you love us, and I pray for every single father present today, both here and watching online.

Father, would you let them experience deep in their soul, in their heart of hearts, your steadfast love, so that they might, in turn, be able to give it to their children.

I pray in Jesus' name, amen.