Forgiveness - What If They Repent?

Good morning. Happy Sunday to everyone. Good to be here.

Hey, this is week five of what series? How to Handle Relational Drama. Are you enjoying it?

Yes, I think it's been fabulous and I hope that week five continues that way.

So this morning we are going to really zero in, focus in on the subject of forgiveness,

specifically forgiveness as it relates to someone who repents about the sin.

So I think that what you're going to see is that once we finish this 10-week

series on relational drama, is that the 10 weeks aren't so much 10 different parts,

but rather one sermon, like one really long sermon that gets divided up into 10 sections.

So think of it, like instead of sitting through a seven-hour sermon,

we are breaking it down and doing it more in bite-sized serving.

It made me think of the person who said, how do you eat an elephant?

But the answer being one bite at a time. That is kind of the same approach for

what is really one super long sermon about how to handle relational drama with

the goal, right? There's a goal here.

This is a purpose of taking these bite-sized true principles from the Bible

and applying God's Word to our lives day in and day out.

As to how it comes to relational issues. So before we get to week five today

and the topic of forgiveness, this is the kind of series that requires us to

backtrack just a little bit and do a brief review of the previous weeks.

So hopefully, whether you've been here for the entire series or this is your

first week, hopefully this review will be beneficial to you.

Here we go, a quick little review of some things that we've covered so far.

I want you to think of this like you're on a highway, okay? Well,

let's call it the relational drama highway.

Got it? You're on the relational drama highway and you get on this highway literally

like the day you were born and you get off of it the day you die. And here we go.

What we have seen so far is that there is a foundational rule that we are to

follow when it comes to handling relationships.

And that foundational rule comes from Matthew chapter 22, verse 39.

Matthew 22:39

Hopefully you remember this. Love your neighbor as yourself.

That's the foundational rule that

Jesus taught on how we are to treat each other. Now here's the problem.

Nobody perfectly follows that rule. And if we're being honest,

no one even comes close to perfectly following that rule.

And to be even more frank, all of us are horrible little sinners.

Me, you, your mama, Mother Teresa, even people who have fancy holidays like St.

Patrick's Day coming up, all of them, we all fail. We all blow it when it comes

to perfectly loving your neighbor as yourself.

And that's why drama exists. I mean, let's face it.

Our relational highway has some mighty serious drama potholes in it.

As we make our way down this relational highway, we often come to whys in the

road or forks in the road.

Like week two, we looked at a fork in the road and we learned what the Bible

has to say about overlooking offenses.

Like when someone doesn't love you the way they love themselves,

the Bible has verses set aside that instructs us that there are times where

we can overlook offenses.

We learn from verses like Proverbs 19, 11. Here it is.

A person's insight gives him patience and his virtue is to overlook an offense.

There's a lady I know. Actually, she's recently died.

I knew her during her grandmother days of life. So she's an older lady.

And she would often say this to me and to many others around her and usually

said it in a very boisterous way. And she would say this.

Don't let your undies get in a bunch over the little things in life.

Like, I think that was her interpretation of Proverbs 19.

There are times in life where we should and we can overlook an offense.

So like that is one fork in the highway that we see.

But there's also another side of that fork where the Bible instructs us,

well, wait, this offense is too big. It's too concerning.

It's too important to overlook. And we've got to confront them.

Like that was week three when we learned from Matthew chapter 18, verse 15.

Matthew 18:15

If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private.

If he listens to you, you've won your brother.

Like super straightforward teaching, counsel from God's word, the Bible.

We have learned this. Go to them,

rebuke, which we've learned what that means. It means go talk to them.

Go shed light on the problem. And when you do it, do it in a graceful,

tactful way. Do it that way.

Not with arms aflailing, blood pressure raised, the veins in your neck, like popping out.

None of that. Don't do it that way. Because the goal is to fix,

to amend the relationship.

And that's why when we first go and you do this rebuke, we do it in private,

not in public, not with a crowd. It's not a show.

The goal isn't to humiliate. The goal is to reconcile and win back your brother.

Like one of the big takeaways that we've seen at the start of the series,

is that so many of our relational issues, so many of our relational troubles

that we endure, they can be fixed by talking.

But way too often, that's the one thing that we don't do.

So that's kind of the small snippet of where we've been and what we've covered so far in this series.

Today, we're going to continue down the relational drama highway and build upon

the idea of when you confront,

what happens when you confront a fellow Christian and he or she repents?

This is a good time to reintroduce a word that Mario introduced a few weeks ago.

He used the word unbalanced, and he used it to describe the sermon.

Sometimes a sermon, in a sermon, you can't present everything.

So instead, you only present one side of something, and that creates an unbalanced sermon.

So right at the start, let me say, today, that will be the case again.

This will be an unbalanced sermon. I will only be presenting forgiveness mostly

as it pertains to Christians, one another, forgiving Christians, one another.

So other questions like, well, what if the Christian doesn't repent?

Or what if it's not even a Christian at all? Do I even need to confront that person?

Do I need to forgive them?

Those are great questions, and they don't make today's sermon.

So come back, they're coming in bite-sized pieces later on.

Right now, the fork that we're on is when you confront a Christian and they repent, what do you do?

And according to the Bible, you forgive them. I'm giving you the answer up front.

Now, forgiveness, that is a very common, familiar topic all throughout the Bible.

And that should not surprise us.

I mean, after all, God's plan here is to forgive people of their sins.

And that's the major theme of the Bible. So we're gonna see forgiveness in a

lot of places throughout the Bible.

I wanna show you a few of those today, starting with Luke 17, three.

The verse says, be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him. We've heard all these.

And if he repents, forgive him.

Now, sort of an unusual warning here to give at the start of this verse, be on guard.

That's a phrase that we see here. Actually, it's a phrase that's used multiple

times throughout the Bible.

And it simply implies pay attention.

There are many times, many things in life where being on guard and paying attention

must be a high priority or else dreadful consequences are likely to happen.

Are you aware of that? You know those parts of your life? It happens.

And what Jesus is saying here in Luke 17 is when it comes to relationships and

the drama associated with them, pay attention.

In the same way like a lifeguard is on duty and pays attention while on duty so that no one drowns.

Pay attention like that when it comes to relationships so they don't sink and drown.

Or in the same way, a driver of a vehicle is supposed to stay off their phone while they're driving.

It's a little commercial for you as well.

You stay off the phone there so that it doesn't cause a wreck.

In the same way, pay attention to relationships like this because if not.

Relational drama causes all kinds of wrecks and catastrophic things.

And so now look at this very next word. It's a word that comes after the phrase

be on guard is the word if, if your brother sins.

Now, if means that there's a possibility that it's gonna happen.

There's a really good chance that your fellow Christian is going to sin against you.

And to be fair, you and I are going to sin against them as well.

Like, have you got that part figured out already? That's how life happens with one another?

God does. God knows this. And in his goodness, he has given us instructions

on what to do if and when it happens.

If a brother sins and if he repents, forgive him.

Now, why in the world do I have to forgive him? Why do you have to forgive?

Super question. And the answer is found in Ephesians 4, verse 32.

Ephesians 4:32

Here, Paul is speaking to a bunch of Christians. They're all gathered together.

And he says this, be kind and compassionate to one another.

And again, when you see that phrase, one another, that should be a hint.

You should know that that means he's referring to other Christians, Christians together.

So be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another,

another Christian reference.

Now don't miss what's next, forgiving one another, just as God forgave you in Christ.

The reason you are to forgive, the reason we forgive repenting Christians is

because that's what God did for you.

And that's why we forgive others.

Christians are forgiving people because they are forgiven people by God.

And Christians are never to stop forgiving. Did you know that?

We're never to stop forgiving each other.

Again, go back to Luke 17. It's in verse four. I'll give us a running start here at verse three.

Be on guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him. And if he repents,

forgive him. And now verse four.

If he sins against you seven times in a day and he comes back to you seven times saying, I repent.

You must forgive him.

Like when it comes to forgiving another Christian, there is no quota that once

it gets reached, it's like, well, that's it, buddy. No more forgiveness for you.

It's not the picture here. It is endless forgiving.

Now suddenly forgiving might look a lot harder to do because forgiving one time,

whoof, challenging, but all right.

Forgiving seven times a day, forever?

Sounds impossible, outrageous, ridiculous.

What a great reminder that this is a good place to just pause for a second and

say, the way this gets done is by the work of the Holy Spirit in us.

Like unforgiveness, that is our natural default. That's what we do really good.

It's the work of the Holy Spirit in us that does the impossible task of like

allowing true forgiveness to take place.

I'm not gonna talk about today, but maybe jot it down for your own study later

today or this week, but in Romans chapter eight,

it's a fabulous chapter of how the Holy Spirit works in a Christian's life to

make things that are really hard to do possible, like forgiving.

But when a Christian repents to another Christian, forgiveness isn't limited.

Instead, forgiveness is given because that's the standard that God uses in forgiving.

Every time a person repents to God, God forgives them.

Now think about that. Make it personal. Every time you repent to him, God forgives you.

And what God instructs us here is follow my example with each other. That's the point.

When a Christian repents, the reaction to repentance is always forgiveness.

When people say, I'm sorry, we are to forgive them.

And I'll tell you, as I was thinking about that through that week,

the wheels were turning in my head right now, and maybe they're turning here,

and someone's thinking like, well, wait a minute now.

If they say they're sorry and they repent of their sin, and don't they stop sinning?

And I guess what I would say to that as a response to that is,

is that how it works for you?

Do you have it mastered? And of course the answer is no.

And so here's the idea of why repentance is endless.

If he sins against you seven times in a day and comes back to you seven times

saying, I repent, the next two words, you must forgive.

Like how many options exist in you must?

The next verse is to see in Colossians chapter three, verses 12 and 13.

Therefore, God's chosen ones. Who's that?

Now you did much better than the first service even though they're like twice

your size so the four people that were loud wait you were here for both.

Anyway okay you got right therefore god's chosen

ones who is that that is us when we say us that means christians if you're a

christian that's us okay holy and loved that's you as well put on heartfelt

compassion kindness humility gentleness and patience accepting one another and forgiving one another,

if anyone has a complaint against another, like if anyone has sinned against another,

just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.

Sounds a lot like the same thing that we've already said.

There's a lot of similarity in all these verses that we're looking at this morning.

However, here in Colossians, there is one additional phrase that's not been

used in the other passages.

And I'm telling you, I think, I believe it, it's a game changer on how we're

to understand forgiveness.

Like, have you ever noticed how Christians will forgive one another?

Like, like they know they're supposed to, they've heard it talked about before,

they've read it in the Bible.

So they forgive one another, that's what they're supposed to do.

But then that relationship with each other, with that other person,

it's like icy cold, like Antarctica cold.

You ever been a part of that? You ever seen that? Like, oh no,

be a part of it. No, I mean, I've seen it, but be a part of it.

But I think if we're real, there's this coldness that comes with it.

Could it be, and hypothetically speaking only, that Christians at times only

pretend to forgive each other?

Which of course means pretending to forgive is fake forgiveness.

Like, you know that when you pretend? That's fake, it's not real.

And that's a thing, I think, with Christians.

But here's the deal. The phrase accepting one another, that's a game-changing phrase.

To accept one another means forbearing with one another, to put up with one

another, bear with them, to tolerate them. Woof.

It's implying this idea that we're not gonna go in our separate directions,

but we're gonna stay connected with each other.

This is a game changer in the way we understand forgiveness.

Like for sure, like three areas, this just came to my head real fast when I

was like, whoa, staying connected. And I think it's three areas that I wanna

share with you of examples of this.

First, it is a game changer in Christian marriages.

Instead of couples, okay, let me just be honest for a second.

Well, I'm trying to be honest this whole circle.

A part of my job is like, I talk with a lot of married people sometimes, all right?

So instead of couples explaining how they really do love each other,

how they really have forgiven each other, but it's just not working.

So we're calling it quits and we're going our own separate ways.

Instead of that, real forgiveness of a repenting spouse,

is gonna involve forgiving and accepting them in a tolerating,

putting up with them way.

Like that is a game changer.

Another one, no, let me just say a little more.

I am so, so thankful by God's grace that we have so many marriages that recognize

this and have said, oh, by God's help, I'm gonna do this.

I'm going to accept, I'm going to forgive, I'm going to accept,

I'm going to tolerate, I'm going to put up with because this is the command

of how we are to love one another, forgiving one another.

So thankful that we have a strong emphasis of that here. Good news represented in the marriages.

There's another game changer. And that's just in our Christian churches and in our communities.

Instead of people packing up and bolting for a new church because of the relational

drama that they've experienced, even though when they show up to the next church,

they'll say, we have some issues, but we've forgiven.

We've made it up. It's all good. We even did the holy kiss thing,

like where we're good or all that's like that.

But I just can't, I just can't be in the same room with them.

I can't look at their face even. Like that's fake forgiveness.

And I gotta say this too as well, because we have two services here at Good News.

If you're here at the 11 o'clock service and you're dodging someone like that

in the 915 service, I'm talking about you as well.

Like that is not, that is not forgiving. That is not accepting one another.

But when we live differently than that, when we stick around and become a people

who go, all right, you tolerate me and I'm gonna tolerate you,

all based on confronting and repenting. Let's remember the steps.

Oh, that's a game changer. It's a game changer with each other.

You know who else it's a game changer to?

It's a game changer to people who aren't Christians yet.

When non-Christians watch Christians operating with handling relational drama

with each other and they're using an entirely different playbook,

than what they see on TV and in the movies and social media and everywhere else in life.

That is a game changer.

Colossians 3 verses 12 and 13 make it very clear that accepting one another

Colossians 3:12

is connected to forgiving one another.

Now I wanna end with retelling a story that Jesus once told about forgiveness.

Actually, I'm gonna read it to you and you can follow along with me.

The story is found in Matthew chapter 18. It starts in verse 21.

Matthew 18 · chapter mention

It's a little bit of a long story, but I think you'll plug right into it. Here it goes.

Then Peter came to him and said, Lord, how many times could my brother sin against

me and I forgive him? As many as seven times?

Like, I'm pretty sure Peter heard what Jesus said back in Luke.

Like, say, hey, if they forgive you, forgive them seven times.

And Peter's like, yep, there's a question mark there. Like, is that really real?

And then Jesus says in verse 22, I tell you, not as many as seven,

Jesus said to him, but 70 times seven.

And now Jesus tells the story in the next verses. For this reason,

the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who wants to settle accounts with his slaves.

When he began to settle accounts, one who owed 10,000 talents,

which by the way, that would be the equivalent of millions of dollars today.

So he owed him 10,000 talents was brought before him.

And since he had no way to pay it back, his master commanded that he,

his wife and his children and everything he had be sold to pay the debt.

Verse 26, at this, the slave fell face down before him and said,

be patient with me and I will pay you everything.

And then the master of the slave had compassion, released him and forgave him the loan.

But that slave went out and found out his fellow slave who owed him 100 denarii.

That's about 20 bucks in today's economy.

He owed him 20 bucks. he grabbed him, started choking him and say, pay what you owe.

And this, his fellow slave fell down and began begging him, be patient with

me and I'll pay you back. But he wasn't willing.

On the contrary, he went and he threw him into prison until he could pay what he owed.

When the other slaves saw what had taken place, they were deeply distressed.

And when they, and they went and they reported to their master everything that had happened.

And then after he had summoned him, his master said to him, you wicked slave,

I forgave you all the debt because you begged me.

Shouldn't you also have had mercy on your fellow slave as I had mercy on you?

And his master got angry and handed him

over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay everything that he owed

so my heavenly father will also do to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from his heart.

There is a lot to say,

I'm gonna mention just a couple that I think are super important worth mentioning

here that this parable that Jesus gave.

First, it is clear God thinks forgiveness is a big deal.

Jesus gives this story of a man who because he refused to forgive another,

he was handed over to the jailer to be tortured until he could pay off his debts,

which in all practicality was never.

Torture forever. If you do not think forgiveness is an important part of what

your life needs to be about, please, based on these verses,

please reconsider how important it is to be a forgiving person.

God takes forgiveness seriously.

And second, realize you represent the first guy in this story.

Like your debt is insurmountable to God.

Millions of offenses and sins have been committed.

And because if you are a Christian, you have been forgiven all of this by God.

And so it is only right, only right that we forgive others who owe such a tiny minuscule amount to us.

Do you see how ridiculous the debts are?

This is a parable. It's a story about the gospel.

It is the incredible good news of a merciful master who forgives sin,

has compassion, and releases people from their bondage.

So I would say, like as a prayer, may God make it so that we are confronting

and we are repenting and we are forgiving people.

So let me put it all together in a summary of what we've covered today.

I put it on a chart for us. You can see it.

Five kind of questions that we went through today. What do Christians do for

one another when they repent? You forgive.

Why do Christians forgive anyway? Why do they forgive one another?

Because God is the example. He has forgiven us. We forgive others.

How often do Christians forgive one another?

All the time. Without limit, it's endless.

What is connected? What is really at the heart of connecting forgiveness with one another?

Acceptance and tolerance. What is the meaning, what is the warning for not repenting?

For, excuse me, for not forgiving towards one another? Punishment.

So let me just end with this. Like, I don't know, Mario's introduction tonight

is like right in line here.

If you're here today and you're not a Christian, super glad that you're here.

Always welcome here. I hope you hear that a lot.

And being completely transparent, there's a lot of people here that are praying

for you to become a Christian, like soon or at some point in your life.

They are praying for that to happen.

And I pray that as you learn from the Bible,

God's spirit would grab you in a way that you repent and receive God's forgiveness

as you trust in Jesus Christ as your savior.

So glad that you are here today to hear this.

But I also wanna say, if all you take away from this morning about forgiveness,

is that you need to be a forgiving person and you do not realize your need to be forgiven by God,

you completely miss the mark, terribly miss the mark.

Instead, acknowledge that God is confronting you.

Acknowledge that. He's calling you out as a sinner, as one who has offended him.

And the response to that calling out is to admit it, to confess it, to repent.

And when you do, God will forgive you. That is incredible, good news.

And to all Christians, brothers and sisters here, obviously super glad that you are here as well.

And in all of this greatness that we have, you can count on one thing.

There's gonna be a relational drama.

It's gonna come. If it's not already happening, it's coming.

If it's already come once, it's gonna come again.

But instead of ghosting one another, let's confront, let's repent, and let's forgive.

Forgiving one another just as God has forgiven us.

And all of this can be done in the moving and in the acting of the Holy Spirit

in our lives. Now let's pray.

Father, it seems super obvious,

to shout out great praise be to your name because you are a forgiving,

merciful, compassionate God.

You are the one who has made it possible,

for us with our insurmountable amount of debt, offenses against you.

And instead of giving us what we deserve,

you give us grace and forgiveness because of Jesus and the work that he did on the cross.

And so collectively, I think there would be a great thank you,

Father. We are so grateful.

And as we deal with our relationships with one another, let our gratefulness

to you and what you have done for us just work through our lives in such a way

that we are gonna be wanting, we're gonna be quick to wanna forgive.

We're gonna be quick to want to repent.

Because we see the value of loving each other and forgiving each other and staying

connected in accepting one another.

Even in its hard ways that it is, but we see the value in it because of how

seriously you take forgiveness.

And I pray, Father, by your grace,

and your will be done,

that we would excel in this area of relationships more and more and more,

in a way that is glorifying and honoring to you and also in a way that's just

really good for us to live together with one another.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen. Amen.

Let me go back to Colossians chapter three, verses 12 and 13.

Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on heartfelt compassion,

kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another.

If anyone has a complaint against another, just as the Lord has forgiven you,

so you must also forgive. That's good news.

Music.