Forgiveness

Good morning, Good News Church. Good to see you. Today we continue the series

that we started last week, Reconciled.

So this is now Reconciled Part 2. If you were not here last week,

let me give you a brief recap of what we learned.

We are learning the book of Philemon in the Bible. The book of Philemon revolves

around three characters, so you need to know these three names and who they

are. The first character's name is Paul.

Paul is a missionary. He is an apostle. He is a pastor. He is the author of

this letter. So I call it the book of Philemon, but it's really a letter.

It's just one page long. That's the whole thing.

So he's the author of this letter, and he is imprisoned at the time that he

writes this. Paul went around telling people about Jesus during the time period

of the Roman Empire. Sometimes he got jailed for that.

This is one of those cases where he is imprisoned somewhere,

and he writes this letter. So that's the first character, Paul.

Second character's name is Onesimus.

Onesimus is probably a runaway slave. He was certainly a slave at some point.

He has been separated from his master, and he crosses paths with Paul at some

point and begins this sort of mentoring relationship with Paul,

Paul being the mentor and like a father figure to him and him being like Paul's son.

And from the way that it's written, it looks like Paul leads Onesimus to become

a Christian, like Onesimus becomes a follower of Christ because of Paul's influence in his life.

So Paul and then Onesimus, and then the third character's name is Philemon.

Philemon is the person that Onesimus ran away from, if he ran away from him.

He's the person that Onesimus separated from.

He is Onesimus' former master, and he is the recipient of this letter.

That's why it's called Philemon, because that's who it was sent to.

So those are the three characters in the story.

The occasion of this letter seems to be that Paul is encouraging Onesimus to

go back to Philemon and apologize for something. We don't know what the something

was because Paul does not mention it. He doesn't get into it.

So we don't know what it is. But it looked like Paul wants Onesimus to try to

reconcile with Philemon.

Paul is also, in this letter, encouraging Philemon to forgive Onesimus and to

not treat him like a runaway slave.

In fact, it seems to me he doesn't want him to treat him like a slave at all.

He's saying treat him like a dear brother in the Lord. Treat him like a friend.

And so he wants Philemon to reconcile with Onesimus. So that's what's going

on here. I'm going to go ahead and read parts of the book of Philemon to you

now. I read the whole thing last week. I'm just going to read sections of it

now to sort of review what we learned last week and also to set up for what

we are about to learn this week.

So you can follow along with me. Philemon chapter one. I mean,

there's just the one chapter.

Philemon, starting in verse one. Actually, I'm going to read you the first two

verses. This is how it begins.

Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy, our brother. This is the from

part of the letter. So Paul is the, I think we think it's the primary author. Timothy was with him.

He's writing this letter to Philemon, our dear friend and co-worker,

and then not just to Philemon. He says to Aphia, our sister,

to Archippus, our fellow soldier.

In fact, I want you to remember that for later on in the sermon,

you're going to need to remember this guy's name, Archippus.

So can we say it all together just on the count? You pronounce it Archippus

on the count of three. One, two, three.

Archippus. Okay, good. So now you remember it because it's going to come back up.

All right. So he's writing this letter to Philemon, and then Aphia's there,

Archippus is there, and then he says, and to the church that meets in your home,

right? So there's some church that meets in Philemon's home.

Okay, skipping on to verse 7.

For I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of

the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.

For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to

do what is right, I appeal to you instead on the basis of love.

I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus,

appeal to you for my son Onesimus.

I fathered him while I was in chains. Once he was useless to you,

but now he is useful both to you and to me.

I am sending him back to you as a part of myself.

Skipping on to verse 15. For perhaps this is why he was separated from you for

a brief time, so that you might get him back permanently, no longer as a slave,

but more than a slave, as a dearly loved brother.

He is especially so to me, but even more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

So, if you consider me a partner, accept him as you would me.

And if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account.

I, Paul, write this with my own hand. I will repay it, not to mention to you

that you owe me even your own self.

Yes, brother, may I have joy from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

Since I am confident of your obedience, I am writing to you knowing that you

will do even more than I say.

And I'll go ahead and stop there. So that was most of the book of Philemon.

And last week when I read the book of Philemon out loud here,

there were people that came up to me afterwards and they said,

you're gonna make three weeks out of that?

Like, I think that they, and I said to them, I said, yes, I am.

And I just think they thought like, it seemed to them that there are not three

weeks worth of things to say about this small book of the Bible.

I believe there are, I actually think, like if someone dared me,

I could go longer than three weeks.

Um, so I definitely think that we can do it.

We've already spent one week decoding the story behind this letter.

And that's what we did last week, but I don't think we exhausted it.

It seems to me there are still more things that we can cover.

Specifically, I think there are principles in this letter about how to forgive,

and principles in this letter about how to apologize. Okay?

Principles in this letter about how to forgive. I think you can look at what

Philemon says, sorry, what Paul says for Philemon to do, and you can figure

out forgiveness from there.

And then I think you can look at what Paul is requiring of Onesimus or expecting

of Onesimus and you can start to realize how to apologize or how to seek forgiveness.

And so, I mean, there's two topics right there. I figure we could spend one

week on each one. We could do this week on the topic of forgiveness and next

week on the topic of apologizing, right?

Yeah, fair enough, let's do it. So this week is forgiveness.

What does this book teach us about forgiveness? this. Do you remember last week

when I read the story from my, or I read the letter that my friend John wrote

me, and I told you that, remember you were able to figure out that he went,

that he worked at a school, even though the letter didn't say the word school.

Those of you who were here last week, do you remember this?

Okay, yeah. So the word school wasn't a letter. Were we able to figure out that he worked at a school?

I think the letter of Philemon teaches us about forgiveness without ever using the word forgiveness.

So what I want to share with you this morning is three points about forgiveness

from the book of Philemon, okay? Here's point number one, if you're taking notes.

Point number one, forgiveness is what is right, okay?

And I'm using that because that's a phrase in the letter, Philemon.

Forgiveness is what is right. It is the right thing to do. It is commanded of us.

You go, where do you get that from? Look at verses eight and nine.

It says, for this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command

you. So he's saying, I could tell you, you have to do this.

I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do. And what does he say? I command you to do what?

What is right. That's the phrase, right? That which is appropriate.

That which is fitting. That's what should be done.

I could command you to do what is right, but I appeal to you instead on the

basis of love. I'm just asking you to do this.

But I mean, this is like, I could command you to do it. It's what is right.

And so I start with that. Like he is, as the letter goes on,

you can see he is saying, accept Onesimus as you would accept me. Take him back.

Cancel his debt. And he calls that what is right.

And so forgiveness is the right thing to do. It is what is right. It is a commandment.

And if you ask yourself, well, why could he command him to do it?

He says, I'm not commanding you, but I could. Why?

I think at least one reason for that would be because forgiveness is a commandment.

We are commanded to forgive. Let me show you this in a different place in the

Bible. If you have your Bible, you can flip over just a few pages to Colossians chapter 3.

Colossians 3 · chapter mention

Colossians, the whole book of Colossians was written by the Apostle Paul,

same guy, okay? But he's writing to the congregation of Colossians, okay?

And look what he says to them. This is Colossians 3 verse 12.

Colossians 3:12

Therefore, God's chosen ones, holy and loved...

Put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

What do we need all these character qualities for? You'll see,

he's about to ask you to do something with it. You put on humility and gentleness

and patience. Now here it is.

Accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another.

Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.

Do you see that? the actions of being humble and compassionate and gentle and

patient and accepting someone that you have a complaint against and forgiving

them, like that is something that is required,

of the people who have been accepted and forgiven by God. Do you see that?

Just as the Lord has forgiven you. If God has accepted you and been patient

with you and forgiven you, you are to accept and forgive and extend patience.

And I believe these words were written for Philemon to hear.

Now, you might go, well, no, what do you mean by these words were written for

Philemon here? Maybe you didn't realize, Mario, we're not in the book of Philemon

anymore. You told us to flip over to Colossians. This wasn't,

this isn't from the letter of Philemon. This was written to the Colossians.

All right. So this, this is an, this is an interesting thing that I couldn't

get to last week. You can't, you can't say everything in every sermon. Okay.

I believe that Colossians and Philemon are companion letters that were sent

to the same congregation at the same time.

Remember how the letter to Philemon was written to him, but it was also written

to the church that's in his home? What church is that?

The name is not mentioned in Philemon. It's just whatever church meets in Philemon's home.

I believe that the people that met in Philemon's home were the Colossians,

okay? And when I say I believe it, you may go, who cares what you believe?

Well, I'll throw this out there. Most scholars believe, like if you try to buy

a commentary on Colossians, it's Colossians of Philemon together almost every time.

Most, like the majority view, when historians look back on this,

is that the Colossian church is the one that met in Philemon's home.

And you might go, well, where do they get that idea from?

Let me show you. This is fantastic. Okay, so this is the verse about forgiveness that I just read to you.

So same page. I haven't even turned the page right over here.

Chapter four, verse seven, same page.

It says this. It says, so this is Colossians four, seven, Tychicus,

which you might go, what is Tychicus? It's just a guy's name. Relax. Okay.

If you're here in your life, you told me I'd understand what the guy's talking

about. I don't even know what a Tychicus is. So it's just a guy's name, okay?

And a tasty dish. No, it's not. It's just a guy's name.

It's just a guy's name. I've never eaten a Tychicus in my life.

Okay, Tychicus, our dearly loved brother, faithful servant, and fellow slave

in the Lord, will tell you all the news about me.

I have sent him to you for this very purpose, so that you may know how we are,

and so that he may encourage your hearts, okay? So this is interesting.

The letter that we call Colossians was delivered to the Colossians by a guy named Tychicus.

You can tell this because he says that. He's the guy. I sent him to you.

So if you read this letter and you have any questions, ask Tychicus.

He will be standing there when you get it.

There was no postal service back then. Back then, if you wanted somebody to

get a letter, a real somebody had to take it and deliver it to them.

So he's saying, when you get there, if you're wondering about me and how things

are going, any questions like that, just ask Tychicus. He's been hanging out

with me, and he will be there when you receive the letter. You can ask him whatever

questions you want to know. Okay, following so far?

All right, now look at the next verse. Look at the next verse.

He, remember that he is Tychicus, he is with Onesimus, a faithful and dearly

loved brother who is one of you.

They, plural, they will tell you about everything here.

So we now realize that the letter that we call Colossians was delivered by a

two-man and team, Tychicus and Onesimus,

who showed up, and if they had any questions, the people in Colossae were told,

you can ask any questions you want to Tychicus or Onesimus.

They will tell you about everything. If you have any questions,

you can ask either one of them. They've both been hanging out with me.

They both know all the answers. Ask either one of them about all this.

Well, Onesimus is the name of the guy from Philemon, right? That's what the

book of Philemon's about. This guy named Onesimus, who he sent back with the letter to Philemon.

And here Onesimus is called a faithful and loved brother. Why does he call him

a faithful and loved brother?

Because he's a Christian. But I think probably Paul was realizing,

like, last time you all saw him, he wasn't. So I'm just letting you know he's

become a Christian in the meantime.

Onesimus is with him. He is a faithful and loved brother. And then look,

he says, who is one of you?

Which who is one of you I guess could be another way of saying he's a faithful

and loved brother he's a Christian but I think who is one of you actually probably

means is a Colossian like he's from your town,

and I'm sending him back to you he's one of you and he's a faithful and loved

brother and he's showing up with Tychicus and this letter,

Now, you may go, well, okay, but what if Onesimus was like a really common name

back then? Okay, what if this isn't the same one? What if it's a name like Dave

or Jeff or Jaquarius or something like that?

And there's like so many of them that like this is not the same guy.

Well, I don't know how many Onesimuses Paul knew, but if this is not enough

for you, let's keep going. Okay, so here we are, same chapter,

just a few verses later. I want to read to you what he says in chapter 4, verse 17.

As Paul ends the book of Colossians, he says this. He says, until, how do we pronounce it?

Archippus. Tell Archippus, pay attention to the ministry you have received in

the Lord so that you can accomplish it. What? How did he get in there?

So what I'm telling you is a guy named Onesimus delivered the letter.

Went back to the church that meets in Philemon's home, right?

And I think he had the letter that we call Philemon with him.

So Onesimus delivers Philemon the letter to Philemon, the person,

and to the church that meets in his home, okay?

Also, So Onesimus and Tychicus delivered the letter of Colossians to a church,

and the letter that Onesimus delivered to the church that met in Philemon's

home, that in that church there was a guy named Archippus,

and the letter that Onesimus and Tychicus delivered to the Colossian church,

they were delivering to a church that also had Archippus in it. Are you following me?

Like, there comes a point where there's enough coincidence that you're like,

oh, oh, wait, this all stuff happened at the same time with the same people, right?

It is highly likely that the church at Colossae heard these two letters together, right?

That Tychicus and Onesimus showed up and they delivered the letter of Philemon

and the letter of Colossians. Okay, one letter that's a general letter to everybody

in the church, one that's going to be read out loud to everybody in the church,

but it's more specifically to one guy.

And so somebody back then, like most people were illiterate.

So you're all sitting around and somebody who knows how to read gets up and

reads the letter that we call Colossians and the letter we call Philemon out loud to the people.

And so I think they probably heard these letters together. And if that's the

case, I just want you to imagine.

How that went down. Like, I want you to imagine you're a Colossian 2,000 years

ago, and you show up at church, and, you know, this is an especially exciting

meeting because two of Paul's letters are going to get read out loud,

and that doesn't happen every time, right?

It's like new ones, so you're like, oh, you know, this is going to be a good

day, isn't it? I know, I know, we've been looking forward to this,

and so you show up, there it is, and they read, and I don't know what order,

I don't know if they read Philemon 1st and Colossians 2nd or what,

but they read these two things out loud.

And as you're hearing it, you're going to come to the part where whoever's reading

reads, therefore God's chosen ones, holy and loved, put on compassion,

kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another.

If anyone has a complaint against another, just as the Lord has forgiven you,

so you must also forgive.

And you're going to sit there and you're going to realize, oh,

that applies to Philemon and Onesimus and their whole conflict.

This is something they're supposed to be doing.

And then you're also going to realize that it's not only about them.

You're also going to realize that these principles and these commands in the

book of Colossians apply to you and all of your conflicts and all of your squabbles.

So that's the first point. Forgiveness is what is right. All right, number two.

Forgiveness usually involves taking them back. Forgiveness usually involves taking them back.

So I get this from the book of Philemon, so we're back in the book of Philemon now.

If you look at verse 12, Paul says, I am sending him back to you.

Verse 15, he says, he was separated you from a brief time so that you might

get him back permanently.

And then in verse 17, which is gonna come up on the screen, he says,

so if you consider him a partner, accept him as you would me.

Take him in. Receive him. Take him back.

Forgiveness typically involves restoring the relationship to what it was or better.

In this particular case, actually, it seems to be better. I would say typically,

I think forgiveness involves restoring the relationship back to the way it was

before the sin happened.

But in this particular case, it actually seems that Paul is saying like,

Make it better than it was. Make it not master, slave, and whatever it is you

were dealing with before. Brother in the Lord, treat him like a friend.

So forgiveness typically involves restoring the relationship, almost always.

And so I do want to be careful here. I purposely used the word typically just

now because I try to be careful what I say here on Sunday mornings.

So I said forgiveness usually involves taking them back. I said forgiveness

typically involves restoring the relationship to what it was.

And the reason I use those qualifiers is because I am aware that there are exceptions,

that there are times with forgiveness that things can't go back exactly to the way they were.

And so I think there really are exceptions. I think they're rare,

but I think they are real.

And so I wanted to acknowledge that, that forgiveness involves restoring the relationship.

And then if anybody goes, yeah, but what about? I want to say,

well, I acknowledge there are times where things happen, and it can't go exactly

back to the way it was. If you go, I don't think so, it should always go back

to the way it was. Let me give you some examples of what I mean by sometimes

there are things that come up.

So imagine, the example I'm about to use I made up this week,

and I think probably everybody here is going to agree this is an exception to

relationship going back to exactly the way it was.

I want you to imagine there's a man and a woman. they're married to each other

and their marriage is rocky.

And then at some point um the the guy starts cheating on his wife and then eventually

abandons his wife divorces his wife and then marries the other woman,

and then starts a family with this other woman his second wife okay,

this is not like anything far-fetched right like this happens in ocala like

every week okay so so okay so he goes and he starts a new family with the second

woman. Okay. And imagine 15, 20 years go by.

Okay. And so now they got teenagers and they got their whole thing going on.

And then the woman who had been abandoned, you know, 15, 20 years ago,

she now, well, she mourns and grieves the situation that happened to her.

And then she moves on and she marries another guy.

And with her second husband, she begins a family.

And, you know, it's been 15 or 20 years now, and she's got a couple of them

and they're in high school. And okay. That's the situation there. You following me so far?

All right. Now, imagine the guy, dirtbag.

Imagine if he, at this point in his life.

Becomes a believer in Jesus Christ. Imagine he hears the gospel kind of late

in life and becomes a believer in Jesus Christ.

Okay. Maybe he shows up at Good News Church and he hears the gospel.

And as he hears the gospel, he goes, whoa, I am a dirtbag. Like I've done,

not only did I do that thing wrong 20 years ago, like I've done stuff wrong

all throughout my whole life.

I have done, I have committed so many sins. Like there is no way I could ever

rescue myself from all of this.

I am a sinful person who could never unsinful myself. I would need a savior

and I need a Lord who I should follow from now on, who I should do whatever

he says instead of whatever I think is a good idea.

My good ideas weren't even good ideas, I now realize.

And so imagine that happens. Could that happen? I mean, that does happen here in Ocala.

So imagine this guy becomes a believer in Jesus Christ. Imagine he shows up

at Good News. He hears the gospel. Imagine he shows up at Good News during a

series called Reconciled, where he learns about Philemon and Onesimus.

And as he learns about the story, he goes, I should go back and apologize to

my ex-wife for what I did.

Should he do that? Yes, he should. So imagine he does. He goes back to her and

says, I'm so sorry for the way that I betrayed you.

And let's just imagine she's a Christian. What should she do?

She should forgive him. Ah, and here we go. And now what? This is why I said

I think there's exceptions.

Now what should happen? Should the relationship be restored to exactly what it was beforehand?

Oh no, some stuff has happened in the meantime, right?

But should these two people divorce their current spouses and break up their

current families in order to make everything back to the way it was?

No, the original divorce was a sin enough. You don't need to complicate it with

two more divorces and having a bunch of kids that are now having to deal with

custody battles and I stay at this house and this house and all.

No, all that doesn't have to be busted up.

But what's gonna happen is there's gonna have to be a forgiveness where there's,

I have no more bitterness. We are not enemies.

But we can't go back exactly to the way things were because some stuff has happened.

Over these past 15, 20 years.

So that's what I mean when I say sometimes there's exceptions.

Like sometimes it can't go exactly back. Sometimes somebody remarries.

Sometimes somebody dies. Sometimes somebody moves to Canada.

And the situation changed. In fact, there's another one. I'll make this one real quick.

Let's imagine you have a best friend, and you hang out with that best friend

every single Friday night.

And then there's a falling out, and you don't talk to him anymore.

Okay, and she moves to Toronto.

And then you have a phone conversation, and you reconcile. and you forgive and

you apologize and everything's back to good.

Now, are you gonna go back to the exact relationship you had before?

Well, no, you're not gonna be able to hang out every Friday night.

She lives in Toronto now, right?

So I'm saying stuff happens where someone remarries or somebody moves to another

country or somebody dies or something happens and sometimes relationships are

not able to go all the way back to exactly what they once were.

So I acknowledge that. And I also want to say to you this, that being true,

don't use that as a reason

to not forgive in the situations where the relationship should be restored because

there is not something that is stopping it from being restored to the way it

was. Are you following that?

This is very important. There's two sides of this. I really want you to get

it. This is how I wrote it down.

As a pastor, I think I would not be doing my job right if I did not acknowledge

that there are exceptions.

Like if I just got up and said, forgiveness always means that the relationship

gets restored exactly to what it was. Like, I feel like if I said that and just,

didn't acknowledge any exceptions, there are going to be people here that are

going to go, but what about?

And I think it's important that I acknowledge. No, no, I get that it can't always do that.

But I also think as a pastor, I would not be doing my job right if I did not

point out to you that a lot of people use the fact that exceptions exist as an excuse

to not obey the Bible, and they withhold forgiveness in the situations where

it ought to be granted. Have you seen that?

So I have, over the course of my life, I've met so many Christians that I feel

like they will, you can, there's like bitterness, and you can just tell that it's there.

Like it's something, it's like, I mean, it's like a cloud you're walking through

in the room. Like they're so bitter, and you can, you smell the bitterness,

and they're there, and then you're like, you know, what, what is wrong?

And they're like, nothing's wrong.

You're like, you know, I think you ought to like let go of that bitterness and

forgive them. And have you ever had this? And the person goes,

well, I have forgiven her.

Okay. I just don't ever want to see her ugly face again.

And it's like, well, that's a weird kind of forgiveness, right?

And maybe they wouldn't say it quite like that. Maybe, you know,

sound a little more Christian than that. But have you heard people that they'll

say, I've forgiven him, but that doesn't mean I have to hang out with him again.

And so I just think it's important for me to point out to you that,

yes, sometimes things can't go back to the way they were.

But I also think you need to know that we as Christians, I've watched this,

we like to say that we've forgiven people while in reality holding on to the

grudge and the bitterness.

So forgiveness usually involves taking them back. Typically,

it's the restoration of the relationship if that's possible.

All right, number three, forgiveness involves canceling the debt.

Forgiveness involves canceling the debt. Where do you get that from,

Mario? Book of Philemon, let me read to you verses 18 through 21.

And if he has wronged you in any way, so this is Paul talking that he is Onesimus,

if he has wronged you, Philemon, in any way or owes you anything,

charge that to my account.

And then look at what he says next. He says, I, Paul, write this with my own hand.

I will repay it, not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self.

Yes, brother, may I have joy from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.

Since I am confident of your obedience, I'm writing to you knowing that you

will do even more than I say.

It looks like to me that Philemon has two options here, okay?

And the two options aren't forgive or don't forgive. You can tell that Paul

is saying, you've got to forgive.

So the two options, it seems to me, is he's saying, Philemon,

you can accept the payment and cancel the debt, or you can absorb the damage

that was done to you and cancel the debt.

Those are your options. You can accept the payment. I think that that's true.

I don't think that he would offer to pay it.

I will repay it. I don't think Paul would offer to repay it if he didn't mean it.

And I don't think he would offer to repay it if it would be wrong for Philemon to accept it.

Right so he's offering restitution and so he's saying you can accept the restitution

and then cancel the debt or,

I think he's saying you could absorb the damage and cancel the debt without

charging anybody anything you want to know where I get that from it's after

he says I will pay it he says but you do owe me one,

and then he says and I actually think you're going to do more than what I'm

asking and so I think he's saying like if you if I got to pay I'll pay but like

you could go even beyond that and just, you could just forgive.

You could just cancel the debt.

And the reason I point this out to you is because it seems to me,

we, those of us in this room, we have the same two options, okay?

We can accept the payment and cancel the debt, or we can absorb the damage and cancel the debt.

What I mean by accept the payment is it is okay for those of us who are Christians

in this room, it is okay for you to accept restitution in the cases where it

is offered and it is possible, okay?

It's not wrong to accept restitution. I think the reason that Paul offered to

pay it is because it's the right thing to do when you apologize and you seek

forgiveness to offer restitution.

Paul was a Hebrew in the Roman Empire who was thinking like through the lens

of the Old Testament. He was very familiar with the Old Testament,

thinking about what the first half of the Bible says about life.

And there were restitution laws in the Old Testament.

If you stole somebody's sheep, you were supposed to pay him back in sheep.

If you killed somebody's cow, you were supposed to pay him back in cows.

So I think that he's thinking that way. this is what's supposed to happen.

So it wouldn't be wrong for Philemon to accept it.

And I don't think it's wrong for you. Like there wouldn't be restitution laws

in the Bible if it were wrong for people to accept restitution, right?

It is okay for you to accept restitution in the cases where it is offered and it is possible.

Let's say you and your friend are having an argument and you know,

they're, so they lose their cool and they, they grab your sunglasses and they just, they crush them.

All right. And then they storm out the door and then they come back to you next

week and they go, I'm really sorry that I lost my temper last week.

I'm really sorry I broke your sunglasses. Like, I would like to buy you a new pair.

As a Christian, it is okay for you to say, I forgive you, and yes, you can buy me a new pair.

Here's the Amazon link.

Two-day shipping, all right.

It is okay to accept restitution. But it is okay to absorb the damage, too.

To just say, no, it's on me.

I forgive you. The debt is canceled.

And the reason I mention that to you is because it seems to me in most cases,

that's going to be your only option.

In most cases, I think that's going to be your only option. You may go,

what do you mean by that? Well, this is the assumption I'm making.

See if you agree with me on this.

I think most sins cannot be fixed financially.

I mean, theft can, vandalism can, arson can, but a lot of them,

you can't fix it financially.

If your kid steals your car and then crashes it, you can say like,

you have to pay the mechanic bill.

But if somebody punched you in the arm 10 years ago, if somebody crushed your

feelings with their words.

There's no money that can fix that all you can do in those cases is absorb the

psychological damage and cancel their debt,

it seems to me that's probably most sins how it works and don't forget colossians

3 13 if you go i don't know about that colossians 3 13 remember this is a verse

that i think was written to the same congregation at the same time,

accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against

another and you go how do you do that look at this just as the lord has forgiven

you so you must also forgive,

the lord forgave us without requiring payment right like he absorbed the cost

himself and didn't put it on us like he made the payment when he died on the

cross he absorbed the cost of our sin and canceled our debt.

And we want to be like him.

That's our sermon this morning. Forgiveness is right. It usually involves taking

them back if possible, and it involves canceling their debt.

And before we close, I just wanted to answer one other question,

because when I preach on this, a question that comes up a lot that I feel like

I need to answer is this question. I'll say this kind of thing,

and then someone will come up to me and go, yeah, Mario, but what if they're not sorry?

What if they're not repentant? Like, I would be happy to cancel their debt,

but they would do it to me all over again.

Like I, I mean, I wish that I could have the relationship restored back to the

way it was, but they're not, they're not sorry for what they've done.

They would, they, they think it's fine.

They would do it again if given the opportunity.

What do you do if they're not sorry? And I think that is a big,

important question that deserves a big, important answer.

In fact, I think someone could do a whole sermon just on answering the question.

What if they're not sorry?

I have preached a whole sermon here answering the question, what if they're

not sorry? But I don't have time to preach that sermon this morning. Okay?

So if you want to know, I have a little present for you. Okay?

This is a book that I wrote. It's titled, It Takes Two to Tangle.

And it is available in the lobby. Like on that wall, there's an information

set of baskets. And there's like, I don't know, nearly 20 of these,

I think, that are sitting in there.

And so I wrote this book. If you notice how long it is, Like,

I wrote this book, the link that I wish people would write books, okay?

This is the kind of book I like to read. So I was like, you know,

love your neighbor as yourself. Write a book like you wish other people would do. All right.

So this is what the Bible says about how to handle conflict.

And if you go to page 33, chapter 10, the title of it is, What If They Are Not Sorry?

And it goes on for like 16 pages or so answering that. So if you're sitting

there going, what if they're not sorry? I need to know, Mario.

I'm just letting you know.

That's what the middle of this book is about. and they are available for free

in the lobby. You can just take it. You don't have to come back and apologize

later for stealing it. I am giving it to you right now if you want it.

Okay, so if you need the answer, it is there from pages like 33 to 47-ish is

where the answers are for what the Bible has to say about that.

All right, so here we go. This was a very practical week at Good News, was it not?

Forgiveness is the right thing to do. It involves restoring the relationship

if it's possible. It involves canceling their debt.

Next week, I wanna talk about how to apologize, how to seek forgiveness.

I also would like to answer the question, what does Jesus have to do with all of this?

If the Lord wills, the plan is to get to that next week. Let's pray.

God, I ask for, and I've already asked for this really this morning,

I guess twice before, I just pray that you would grant forgiveness to us as

a congregation. I pray that you would grant forgiveness to us in the sense that

we would extend it to others.

And I know that we can extend it to others because you have already extended

it to us. And so I guess I thank you for two different types of forgiveness.

Thank you for the forgiveness that you have already shown us.

Thank you for dying on the cross for our sins.

Thank you for patiently and humbly and compassionately accepting us and forgiving us.

And then out of that, I pray that you would grant us the forgiveness that we

can then extend to other people in our life. I pray that there would be over

this next week, a bunch of people in Ocala who get forgiven and who get apologies

and who get forgiveness granted and reconciliation.

I ask that you would do that among us.

I pray for the people who go, I don't know what to do if he's not sorry.

I pray that the book would be helpful to them. And I pray that they would be

able to figure out what to do in those cases. I pray that you would guide us.

So that we may follow you and follow your ways, that our values may mirror yours

and our behaviors would mirror yours.

And we love you and we thank you for the gospel, Jesus. And I pray that we'd

be able to get to more of this next week.

And so in Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Let me end with these good words from God's word. This is Colossians chapter three, verse 13.

Accepting one another and forgiving one another. If anyone has a complaint against

another, just as the Lord has forgiven you. That is good news.