What Mothers Teach Us About Rest | The Power of the Pause | Pastor Julie Signorelli, Pastor Jocelyn Perez, Krystal Gualpa, Linsia Eversley, and Christy Gomez

Foreign.

But I'm so thankful for all the pastors, wives and ministers

that help hold up this church.

But they're not the only people holding up these church.

This church, these women are part of a team that hold up this

church.

And so if you're a connect group leader, if you serve on a team,

if you're a part of our kids ministry, thank you for doing what

you do.

Because, you know, if you, if they went on vacation, you'd feel

it.

You would feel it.

And they do so much to hold up this church.

And when you're in prayer ministry and you hear the intercession

going up, that's a part of her sacrifice.

When you see the kids ministry and all that's going on there, that's

a part of Ms.

Christy.

That's what we call her in our house.

Ms.

Christy.

You don't have to call her Ms.

Christy, but that's what we like to do.

You know, you see that, the kids doing their thing, that's a

part of her leadership.

And Crystal, anytime we got something good to eat, you could

thank Crystal.

Cause her hospitality gift serves this church.

And we're so grateful for you guys.

But really quick, I know I probably said your name.

Just go really briefly, just kind of introduce yourself all the

way down the line, and then we're gonna jump in.

Are you excited to learn from these women?

Me too.

Me too.

Well, I'm Pastor Jocelyn.

I'm the campus pastor alongside my husband at this church,

at this local campus.

And we've been married for 20 years.

I have two children.

I'm a mother of two sons.

Son, Mom.

One is 20 and one is 12.

Do the math.

Yeah, we, you know.

It'S all good.

It's under the blood.

Hi, I'm Christy.

And like Pastor Julie, I was gonna call you Ms.

Julie.

I lead the kids ministry.

I have two boys, nine and seven.

I'm a homeschool mom.

I also have a private practice.

But my favorite thing is to be a daughter amongst all things.

Hi, my name is Lindsay Eversley.

I serve on the prayer team alongside with my husband cj.

We have a blended family of three.

I work in NYU pediatrics unit amongst all children all, all day,

all along.

And I love what I do and I love this church.

I love my church.

Amen.

Amen.

Make me cry.

And your nails look good.

Okay, that needed to be said.

Go ahead.

My name is Crystal.

I'm a mom.

Two, three, and God willing, four through adoption.

I am sorry.

I'm a paraprofessional by trade.

So I'm surrounded by children all day.

And I'm also a teen mom to my daughter's softball team swim.

So mommy life is mommying, and you.

Do it so well.

You got everything in that car.

She's one of those moms when you're like, I need a snack.

She's like, hold on.

I'm like, we need a chair.

She's like, hold on.

Ivan was like, our chairs rock.

I'm like, wow, you're one of those.

You're one of those parents.

Like, you got everything in the car, but we're going to jump

into it today.

And I also wanna recognize.

I know my husband just said, you know, if this is a day that brings,

you know, just some hurt, some pain, maybe you wanna be a mom.

Maybe you're struggling with infertility or maybe you have wounds

from your mom or whatever, just sit tight, lean in.

There's healing for you today.

And I just wanna prophesy that over you, over our online community.

Like, just hang in there.

Like, we're gonna.

God's gonna do something at the end of this service.

So I just want you to have your heart open.

But really quick, we're gonna just jump right in there.

How?

The call to serve your family and others without losing yourself.

Cause you know us moms, we will lose ourselves real quick.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you know what?

Also, there's boundaries in identity, in Christ versus self care

and stewardship.

So that's really important.

We need self care.

Right?

We need self care.

And so if any of you wanna answer that question, like, what

does self care that look like for you, where it's like your identity

in Christ, but also self care and stewardship.

Yeah.

So I love my mom's house now.

So I go there.

That's my oasis.

And I just sit there.

And she cooks sometimes for me all the time.

Not just sometimes, because I'm always doing it in my house,

so that's my favorite place.

But sometimes I also just sit in silence at night when my husband

and my kids are asleep.

And I'm like, okay, this is my time with the Lord.

Sometimes, like, I just did this recently.

I just sit there in his presence.

I don't say anything.

I just want to be comforted by him.

And it just refreshes me.

But also when I'm just.

When I just want to just be in my car by myself, listening to whatever

I want to listen to, that's also my favorite time.

Because I don't have to be anything for anybody.

And that's my way of refreshing myself.

And my car used to be where I used to cry a lot, and I used to

just cry out to the Lord, and now it's moments that I just praise

him.

So that's also a time that I feel refreshed as well.

Yeah, you could clap for that.

It's okay.

That's good.

I like that.

Turning your place of pain into like an altar.

That's good.

Go ahead.

So for me, thinking about this question was we're always labeled

as women, as like daughter, sister, aunt, niece.

And so being a mother was a big priority for me in serving my

family and serving them well.

Being adopted, it came with a lot of wounds and, you know, the

feeling of rejection.

And so I took that and started serving my family.

And serving is a big part of me.

And I realized that it's a gift God gave me.

But I had to come to realize that it's not who he made me.

My identity is not serving.

He made me crystal, just crystal.

And so I really just have to talk to God, like, what is it that

you want me to do today?

Like, it's okay to say no to serving.

It's okay to take care of yourself, time for yourself.

And so really just asking God, okay, God, what do you want me to

do today?

Am I just having a chill day or am I spending the day in your

presence and, you know, looking for you more?

So just talking to God.

Yeah.

Proverbs 31:25 says strength and dignity are her clothing.

Proverbs 31:25

And she laughs at the time to come.

And so, moms, you're clothed in strength and dignity and resilience.

And sometimes we need to be.

We need to be everything for everyone in our families.

And just even hearing these women talk about what they do times

in her car, turning her pain into praise.

Not mothering from her wounding of being adopted, but just

being everything.

And we are, we are everything to everyone.

And we get to be.

God says we're clothed in dignity.

We're clothed in strength.

And so as we steward ourselves and our self care, then we get to

have strength, strength from him and just strength from rest.

Yeah.

And I would say like too moms, don't get it twisted.

I know sometimes we can get in the Instagram vortex, we can get

in the social media vortex where self care is like, okay, we

gotta get Botox, we gotta get massages, we gotta get bubble baths

or whatever, you know, and that might have its place, you know,

for some.

But like, I'll tell you what, one moment in the presence of God

can restore years and years and years of trauma and weariness.

And when you talk about resilience, resilience, when the

word says, when we talk about or just hearing that word, resilience,

I think, you know, some of us focus so hard on how hard things

were when we were young that we forget that we serve a God that

renews, restores, refreshes.

And so if you had a hard childhood and you spent a lot of

time blaming your mom, I wanna say let that go today.

Like leave that at the altar.

Because sometimes the self care you might need is just to get

into the presence of God and say, I forgive, I forgive.

Because that unforgiveness, that will wear you down and it will

give you more eye bags than when that Botox wears off.

If you know, you know.

I may or may not know.

You cannot confirm nor deny.

I cannot confirm nor deny.

But so you know, Pastor Jocelyn, you shared about something

like in the power of.

You were talking about Pastor Mike's sermon last week in first

service.

Yeah, I want you to share that.

Mark 6:31, it says, and he said to them, come away by yourselves

Mark 6:31

to a desolate place and rest a while.

For many were coming and going and they had no leisure even to eat.

And so even self care as a mom, where it's like, okay, I don't

want to lose myself to momming or just doing all of these tasks

or things for everyone or be everything to everyone, it's like

finding rest, going away for a while and being able to rest and

not like feeling guilty about doing that because we need that moms

like you need to be able to rest.

And so even Apostle Mike talked about that last week, airplane

mode.

And it's not like I'm not talking about ignoring your whole

family and just like leaving destruction and chaos, but like if

we're clothed in strength and dignity and if God says go away for

a while, Jesus went away for a while to pray before the Father where

God was the center of his world.

And we need to be able to do that with prayer and self care, but

just even resting in him, getting rest, taking a nap if you

need to.

And a what?

And a snack.

Rest and a snack.

Or just even unplugging.

Don't do the laundry, don't fold the laundry, Rest.

I hear you, Lord.

Yes Lord.

But also I wanna speak because I think like in the, you know, as

a woman, you know, who's got kids that are in their teenagers,

but I also have small, you know, a smaller child.

I wanna say respecting the.

Your where's my nana's.

Where's my grandma's?

All right, Amen.

Respecting that generation as us moms, knowing that they need that

time as well.

Cause I think sometimes we could tend to use our moms, like,

you know, dropping off our kids, like, I need this.

But it's like, okay, but they also need that and honoring that

next generation by saying, you know what?

They need their.

They served their time.

Not that it was prison, but, you know, they did their thing, you

know, and we, us, as daughters, as adult daughters, we

have to respect that next generation and say, you know what?

This is not their responsibility.

Maybe a day here, a day there, but this is not their burden to carry.

This is.

My kids are my responsibility.

And really honoring that next generation and not making them.

Not making your mom pay the price for the things that you didn't

get growing up.

You gotta pay that healing forward, not backwards.

Okay?

That's all I gotta say.

All right, we'll let that one sit for a second.

What does biblical submission look like in modern marriage?

And how do you walk it out with strength and dignity?

What do you ladies gotta say just before you answer that?

Right?

It's misconceptions in this world.

And, Crystal, I want to kick it to you quickly, but it's mutual

submission, right?

And it's an empowerment.

It's not oppression.

And there's so many misconceptions.

Like, even in the church, where it's like, wives, submit to

your husbands, right?

And so Ephesians 5:21-25 says, submitting to one another out of

Ephesians 5:21–25

reverence for Christ, wives, submit to your own husbands as the

Lord, and for the husband is the head of the wife, even though

Christ is the head of the church, his body, and himself its

savior.

Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit

in everything to their husbands.

And husbands, love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave

himself up for her.

So, Crystal, go ahead.

So when the word submission came to mind, automatically the worldly

definition of submission came to mind, I was thinking, all right,

like, when you think the word submission, you feel like, oh, I

need to listen to him.

Why do I need to listen to him?

Like, things of that nature.

But really walking my life with Christ this last year, I've

learned the biblical definition of submission.

And that sort of to love your husband and respect your husband

the way you would love and show respect to the Lord.

And so.

And we're not perfect.

I'm not perfect.

Literally, two weeks ago, my husband told me to do something I

was like, yeah, okay.

And then I was like, oh, gosh, I need to go find him and repent.

But.

So no one's perfect by any means, but really remembering, like,

okay, God, I want to show you my love.

I want to show that I love you.

And how do I do that?

By showing my husband I love and repent, respect him.

And even if you're in a rocky marriage and things aren't great

right now, showing your spouse the love that you would show Christ,

that does something in them, they'll see, like, God will start

to work in their heart and just respecting your spouse.

And so my challenge to everyone here is put down your pride

and just show your spouse that respect, because that's all God wants,

is your respect and your love.

So in order to show God your respect, respect your spouse.

That's good.

I like.

That's good.

That's good.

You had such a good word.

Yeah, that was good.

That was good.

Amen.

So when I heard about submission, it reminded me of my

first year of marriage.

It was hard because CJ was still battling alcoholism.

And this is what I.

I want to talk about godly counsel, okay?

From a woman with wisdom, a woman with.

That had children that went through it.

And I went to his mom, and she didn't take his side.

She was counsel, and she was like, you better pray for him.

You better anoint his pillow.

You better anoint his shoes.

Keep praying.

Pray without ceasing.

Let me pray for you now.

And I'll be like, oh, my God, I didn't sign up for this.

And, you know, but it taught me how to tarry.

Because as wives, as a mom, you are the helpmate of the house.

You are destined to be the helpmate of the house.

So you have to understand the weight that your prayers carry.

And I see the fruit of it.

It is the him right there.

You see him right there.

You be like, wow, he's a powerful man of God.

But you don't know the tarrying of prayers, of submitting

that the covenant of marriages.

Submitting as a.

Proverbs 31.

Woman not giving up, praying without seizing day and night.

And get you a godly counsel.

No gossip.

Get you godly counsel.

A woman that's been through it.

Yeah, we need to pray more.

Amen.

You know, Proverbs 31 says, the husband is praised at the gates

for the work of his wife.

Come on, Come on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your husband is praised at the gates because of what the wife is

doing.

That's good.

That's Good.

I was ready to go ahead.

TD Jakes, go ahead.

It's like, yes.

So in prayer, like, in worship, I just.

The Lord just quickened, like, corrected me so much.

And I just want to honor you, Pastor Julie and Pastor Jocelyn and

just the women that you've raised, because it's taught me so

much.

And he was just, like, reminding me that the way he created

Jose was intentional, and it's very different than me.

And I'm a strong woman, and it's been a process of, like, how

can I be strong but be submitted and respect him and love

him and honor him?

And we had a conversation where, you know, I was telling him.

I was like, I don't want this to be performative.

This is real.

This is challenging.

This is hard.

We need the Lord.

And I said, I feel like I'm failing.

And he's like, well, I feel like I'm failing.

And I was just, like, waking up our second son, and I started

to cry because I'm like, lord, we just agreed that we need you,

right?

We just realized and just confessed to each other how much

more we need you so you can do that work in us, so we can love each

other the way you've called us to.

And he just reminded me that in worship today.

So I'm just so thankful because this panel just broke something

off of me and.

And is just bringing healing, even just right now.

So I'm just so thankful.

I just feel like you opened the door just right to.

The next thing I wanted to talk about was, like, how do you

handle guilt and shame when you feel like you're not enough?

So how did you navigate, like, what did that look like for you guys?

Like, in that moment, like, I'm not enough, and then now you

have freedom.

What was the bridge?

Where's the door that we walk through to get to that next level?

So I've been meditating on Psalm 44, which is, be angry, but

do not sin, right?

And, okay, I can be angry because I was suppressing my feelings.

Again, I'm a strong woman, right?

And I have my thoughts and my opinions, and Jose's never made me

feel less than right.

He's never been the kind of man that's like, no, you can't.

He actually has always championed me.

And then the Lord is just showing me that it's not even like

that he necessarily has to change.

It's my heart.

And even last night, I just was in my room, and I was like, God,

just.

I don't want my heart to harden.

Soften my heart.

And I forgive him, right?

Because something happened.

I was like, I forgive him.

And it wasn't that I had to tell him for him to, okay, great.

That's amazing.

It was like, lord, I forgive him and do the work in me.

And then I prayed for him to soften his heart.

And then we were able to come together and just mutually say, like,

we feel.

Feel like we're failing, but it's actually that we fall short,

right?

We all fall short of God's glory, which is why we need him.

So for us to just come to that, it just brought that mutual

submission, just even now, of just like, okay, we both agree we

need Him.

Now we just have to rely even more on him.

And it releases the shame and the guilt, right?

Because you both confess one to another.

And so it's grace over perfection, right?

And so 2 Corinthians 12, 9 says, but he said to me, my grace

is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

In our weakness.

His power is made perfect in us.

And one thing I just want to say, Pastor Julie, man, I remember

there's times where you've admitted to me, like, oh, it's in

my weakness.

Where I'm like, girl, that was the best message you preached.

And you were like, it is in my weakness.

And I remember just like, even, like, kind of going through

that of like, oh, my gosh, I gotta do this.

I gotta do this.

And she's like, it's in your weakness, Joss.

It's in your weakness that, you know, they call me Joss.

It's in your weakness that he's made perfect and he's made powerful

in our weaknesses.

And so we sometimes fall into a comparison trap.

As moms, we have mom, guilt and shame, society, what it's done

as mothers and women, what it's feeding us, right?

And so what are some of the shame and, like, even comparison

traps that it's like, his grace is sufficient.

Feeling, like, you don't have enough time in the day.

Like, you fell short because of lack of time management.

And so for me, God is still.

He's literally working on that with me.

Like, I'm realizing that can't say yes to everything.

And because if you say yes to everything and then you don't, you

fall short, you start to condemn yourself.

But then, like, also, the enemy wants you to say yes to everything

so you could fall short of his snare because he's always set in

snares, right?

So then, like, when you realize the tactics of the Enemy.

And that's the major thing.

Now.

You could go and confess to another.

James 5:16 says, Confess to another and be healed.

James 5:16

You have to have an accountability partner.

It is important not only as mothers, wives, men too.

Accountability is everything because you can't.

The enemy can't set up an open door for you.

You like, I confess, so what do you have on me?

And then after that, you start to declare what God says.

Replace the lies with truth.

I had to do that Tuesday.

I was like, I am the head and not the tail.

I am a beneath not.

I have a sound mind.

You liar.

I was, like, going in hard because I was like, no, the devil's

a liar.

And we already.

He's already defeated.

Like, why do we let him win when it says he is defeated?

So we have to know who we are.

We have to know who we are.

The power that we hold in Jesus Christ.

We have to.

We serve the one true living God.

There is no other.

So we have all this authority and we've given it to the enemy.

No.

He's a liar.

Amen.

That's good.

You know, I was thinking when we were talking about shame.

Shame, shackles.

But the power of Christ rests.

So if you're constantly feeling like, I'm not enough, that

is not the Holy Spirit.

That is not God trying to tell you, you need to read your Bible

more.

Of course we need to do all those things.

We know that.

But when it's shame, that is.

That is how you know.

That is the voice of the enemy.

And I, for years, if I could tell my younger self anything, it

would be like, that is not God's voice.

That is not God's voice trying to make you better.

That is the shackle of shame from the enemy trying to get you.

Because of course we're weak.

Why would we need Jesus if we were strong?

Like, our weakness is a no duh.

And so anytime, like you said, like, oh, you know, I need a savior.

It's like, we all need a savior.

And so the way to silence shame is to acknowledge you need

a.

You need a savior.

I need Jesus.

If you've been feeling lost in your motherhood, maybe you just came

with your mom and you're honoring her.

Her.

Her request for you to be in church.

I want to tell you that God has a plan for you and that you don't

have to suffer in shame, that you can just be in your weakness

and let the power of Christ just rest on you today.

It is possible.

So if you're a mom and you've just been drowning in motherhood,

or maybe you've been drowning in grandmotherhood or trying to find

your identity as a.

As an empty nester who's raised her children, or you're.

You're somebody who's sitting in.

In the loss of miscarriage and infertility.

I want to tell you that there is individualized care from Jesus

at every single level that you came today, and that at every level,

it is the power of Christ that rests on you and in your weakness.

Pastor Jocelyn, would you just speak to that lie of shame that is

creeping into the minds of the women that are here today?

I just want to speak into you moms online in the room, the negative

self talk.

When you're like, you should have done this.

You should have done that.

I should have done this.

Should is shaming.

And so stepping away from the negative self talk because the Holy

Spirit is like, daughter, I have a better way.

He's not like, you should have.

The Holy Spirit doesn't talk that way.

He's like, I have a better way.

Daughter, you can and you will.

And so we've got to get away from the negative self talk of the

shoulds and says, should is shaming.

So if there's anything you could walk away from today.

No.

Should is shaming.

And I'm gonna say I can and I will.

It's through my weakness.

It's his strength that's gonna strengthen me.

I'm clothed in dignity.

I'm clothed in strength.

And I am no longer gonna walk in my should haves.

And I'm gonna walk forward, and I can and I will, because he

is the I am in your life.

Man.

I received healing in that.

I had a daughter that just graduated on Saturday.

And you know what?

I know.

Yeah, we're proud of her.

But I would say, like, most of that morning was spent shame.

I should have done more.

I wish I would have done this.

I should have done this differently.

And when we walked in and we started.

She was a Christian school, whatever, we started worshiping.

And the Lord just was like, jules, it's all good.

I got her.

I had her the whole time.

And some of you are just caught in these mistakes that you

made as a young mother or maybe before you had kids and.

Or maybe it was the way that you grew up.

And some of those behaviors have projected there.

I yelled at my kids twice this morning on Mother's Day.

Get up.

Shame.

I.

I could let that sit with me all day.

I'm not worthy to get up here.

I'm not that.

Listen, it is in my weakness that his power rests on me.

And I want to tell you there's a miracle for you today.

If you've been stuck in that cycle of shame, we're gonna get released

from that.

Men and women alike, we all deal with that as a dad, as a hu.

If you go to Walmart, you deal with shame.

I love Walmart, by the way.

There's no shame.

But let's stand.

If you're online with us and you've been struggling with this,

we're just gonna have a moment of freedom and we're getting ready

to pray.

And as I pray, Pastor Eddie's gonna come, and we're so thankful.

Aren't y' all thankful for the.

The just the wisdom that flowed from these women today?

This is our home team.

These are our all stars up here.

And.

But we're gonna get released from that shame, and we're getting

ready to pray.

But also, if you have been struggling with infertility, every

time we've done a baby dedication, I've prayed for wombs

to open, and we have seen miracles.

We have had miracle babies that we've dedicated a year later.

So I wanna leave room for a miracle.

And if that's you, I encourage you to tell someone and.

And go to Connect Central and have them pray and agree for healing

over your womb.

But we're going to pray for healing over our wounds today.

How many want to get free from shame?

How many want to get healed of that mother wound, that rejection

maybe that you experienced, or maybe those behaviors that you just

haven't seemed to.

Or maybe you're a grandmother that's carried shame that.

That you haven't done enough, that you wish you could do more.

I want to tell you, woman of God, you've done enough.

You're here.

You're bringing your kids into the house of God.

You've done enough be released from that shame.

So we're gonna pray right now.

I'm gonna pray for wombs to open.

And Pastor Jocelyn, I want you to pray against shame.

You had such an anointing speaking to that.

But right now, we're gonna pray for wounds.

If.

If you're online and you've been struggling with infertility,

or you're in the room and you've been struggling with infertility

or infant loss.

I just want you to raise your hand.

We're just gonna pray and believe God.

Come on.

I see hands, Lord.

We just.

Thank you, God.

I pray that these wombs would open up now in Jesus Mighty name.

Lord, if you're around some of these women, just stretch your hand

over, just lay your hand on their back or touch their hand just

as a point of agreement.

God, we come into agreement for our sisters that they will have

children.

We do not buy the lie that this womb will not produce fruit.

And so right now we come against just incomplete blood work.

We come against Holy Spirit hormones.

We come against disorders in the female organs.

God.

We come against irregular bleeding and inflammation and pcos

and endometriosis.

And we cast that out in the name of Jesus.

And we decree healing now in Jesus mighty name.

We decree healing now over their womb and God that it would

begin to work into divine order and that there would be miracle

children that we would dedicate this time next year.

In Jesus name.

Mighty name.

Pastor Jocelyn, go ahead and pray.

Father, we.

We come against shame right now in the name of Jesus, Lord we

pray that you would come right now.

And each and every mind that starts to come into agreement with

shame.

We break agreement with shame even right now.

Oh God.

In the name of Jesus Lord that.

The negative self talk that we that we speak speak to ourselves

where we're feeling like we're not good enough.

Holy Spirit, that we would hear your voice louder than the voice

the the father of lies that wants to come and bring destruction

and come against our identity and come against our destiny.

And so Father, we pray now in.

The name of Jesus that shame would.

No longer be our portion.

God but Lord that we win because.

You won on the cross.

That your blood shed.

God we one it's more powerful than any lie that the enemy can feed

our minds.

In the name of Jesus Lord that you would heal wounds of shame that

has been spoken over Lord Every word.

Curse has been spoken into each and.

Every life right now in the name of Jesus we pray a blessing.

A blessing over each son and daughter.

We pray a blessing over the house, over your people, over your

local church, over each and every one in online.

Oh God.

And even in the room, Father that you would come.

That you they would find rest in you, oh God.

That they would believe in the good report.

God that they would believe that they are the head and not the

tail.

In the name of Jesus.

That they are overcomers.

That they are going to be walking in freedom because of what

you did for them.

That they are adopted under the with the blood of Christ.

In the name of Jesus.

No longer abandoned, no longer orphaned.

God Lord that we would be a people, oh God that believe in your

in your blood, oh God.

And what you did on Calvary for us, oh God and Lord, that you

would do a mighty work in hearts and minds today.

That shame will no longer be our portion.

In the name of Jesus, that we would move forward.

We rebuke the Devourer over each and every life in the name of

Jesus.

And we believe in you.

And we come agreement into faith, oh God, in you, in Jesus mighty

name.

Amen and Amen.

Can we lift up a shout of praise for what God did, man?

Lord, we thank you, God.

Lord, we thank you for open wounds.

We thank you for restoration.

In Jesus name, Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

It.