Biblical Manhood & Womanhood - 1 Timothy 5:1-14 - Foundations of Biblical Leadership - How To Care & Honor Widows

Very important that when we are given the word

that we do it. It's one thing to be given it

and not do it. That's rebellion. But to be given

the word, you must do the word. It's a very important

thing. One, it commands us to do it, right? Go

and make disciples of all nations, baptizing

them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy

Spirit. A lot of guys stop at that because they

don't like the second part. Teaching them to

obey all that I've commanded you. Like a real

disciple is one who is obedient. That being said,

when we get into Timothy chapter 5, this is a

very important command by which God gives to

the church that we must do as a church, especially

as elders. And so before we do that, I'm going

to pray, and then we're going to dig in. Are

you guys ready? Father, I want to thank you so

much for your goodness and faithfulness. Thank

you, Lord, for your word. You are faithful and

good. You love the widow. You protect her. And

you care for her and you support her and give

her all her needs. And you have commanded the

church to do the same. We are your body. And

the religion that you consider pure and faultless

is to care for the orphans and widows in their

distress. And to keep oneself from being polluted

by the world. To keep ourselves holy. Lord, we

praise you and thank you. To you be honor and

glory. May the full counsel of your word be spoken.

Lord, help me and help us to rightly divide it

to see your heart and care for those who have

difficulty doing it on their own and have not

meant to do it on their own. Lord, we praise

you and thank you in Jesus' name. Amen. So I'm

going to start off first and foremost by reading

something in John chapter 19. Jesus does this

John 19 · chapter mention

same thing. It's interesting when you read it.

Chapter 19, verse 28. And this, Jesus knowing,

oh, sorry, oh, I did that same thing on first

service. It's actually verse 24c. So go there.

Verse 24, the last part. So the soldiers did

these things by standing by the cross of Jesus,

where his mother, his mother's sister, Mary,

the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. And when

Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he

loved standing nearby, he said to his mother,

Woman, behold your son. Then he said to the disciple,

Behold your mother. And from that hour the disciple

took her to his own home. Now the question I

had asked earlier was, Why, if Jesus has brothers,

James and Jude, would Jesus not give the responsibility

to his brothers? I mean, after all, that would

be what you would consider the Jewish responsibility,

is to care for the mother when the mother has

no one to care for her. Jesus, being the older

brother, is dying. His father has died already.

But Jesus doesn't give his responsibility of

the mother to James and Jude. We know it's James

and Jude. Because they were the ones that wrote

James and Jude. Why would he give it to John?

And here's why. John was a believer and James

and Jude were not. I want you to hear that. The

responsibility of the widow is on you, the church.

It's on no one else. God has given us that responsibility.

That being said, turn to 1 Timothy. So I've already

given you the command in James 1 .27. Let's read

what God says concerning the widow. Now, Paul

gives Timothy some very important things. He

starts off in verse 13 of chapter 4, and I'll

read that. Verse 13 of chapter 4. Until I come,

devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture,

to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the

gift you have, which has been given you by prophecy

when the council of elders laid their hands on

you. Practice these things, immerse yourself

in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep

a close watch on yourself and on the teaching.

Persist in this, for by doing so you will save

both yourself and your hearers. Do not rebuke

an older man, but encourage him as you would

a father. Younger men as a brother, older women

as mothers, and younger women as sisters. in

all purity. So let's start off with verse 1 and

2. Godly leaders are careful to shepherd not

only in action, but especially with words. Godly

men are leaders and must be careful to shepherd

not only in action, but especially in words,

and especially those who have been called and

ordained as elders. In Leviticus 19 .32, it says

it this way. You shall stand up before the gray

head and honor the face of an old man, and you

shall fear your God. I am the Lord, Leviticus

19 .32. You shall stand up. When an older man

walks in, you show him honor. You stand up face

to face. You give respect to him. I think that's

missing today, especially in young people. You

hear that, little ones, younger ones, teenagers,

young adults? Show the respect. These men have

lived life. Give honor. Respect them. Face to

face, man to man. That's the idea here. And what

he says here concerning Timothy, he says, Timothy,

understand he's 19, 20 years old, shepherding

a church. And Paul says, Timothy, do not rebuke.

Do not chastise. With your words. Though you

are a godly man, though you have biblical authority,

though you are the shepherd, the under -shepherd

of this church, you, Timothy, are not to chastise

older men, but encourage him as you would a father.

How many of you guys got nasty with your dad?

Same thing. I asked everybody else that, and

nobody would admit it. Many. It's important you

honor these men as you would your father. Younger

men as brothers. I mean, brotherhood is important.

I know that when you grow up with many brothers

and you want to hold on to those relationships

and keep them strong. Older women as mothers.

It's interesting. I was sharing this earlier.

You know, it's really upsetting as a man, as

a father. You raise your kids. You teach them

football. They get famous. They stand in the

camera. And you ask my boy, and all of a sudden

he goes, thank you very much. Hi, Mom. What happened

to all the work? That's him honoring his mother.

She carried him for nine months. You didn't.

She dealt with all his sicknesses and his hurts

and his scraped knees and his crying and his

frustration because he wasn't doing well in school.

And all of the times he never listened because

we like to climb trees and pick up snakes. And

younger women as sisters. Being careful to protect.

But do it in all purity, it says. Do it in a

sinlessness life. A life that's not characterized

as sinful. That is how you should be handling

your relationships with older men and younger

men and older women and younger women. How we

communicate. I will tell you, it's something

that I work hard at. My wife will tell you sometimes

I screw up. But it is important to me to honor

her and to love her and my kids. Godly leaders

manage the care of widows and purpose to exhort

them to cling to Christ. Fathers of the fatherless,

protector of widows is God in his holy habitation,

Psalm 68, 5. Do you get that? That where God

is, God is the father to the fatherless, and

he protects the widow. What's interesting about

the word widow, as I said earlier, is men are

not widows. Men can't be widows. I know in today's

society. When a wife dies, the man goes, I'm

a widow. No, you're not. Because a widow means

barren, means without care and support, a city

with no inhabitants. Men can, to the very last

breath of their life, typically take care of

themselves. And will suffer through, and some

even die doing their work. But not so when it

comes to women. Why? Well, I'm sure the feminist

movement would say, we can do. Everything a man

can do. No, that's not true either. That's a

lie. Women can't do everything a man can do.

And I will tell you this, men cannot do what

women do. When we come home from work, the wife

has cleaned the house, cooked dinner for you,

managed the kids, educated the children, disciplined

the children, went out and played with the children,

taught the children the word of God. And you

come home to a dinner. And when she's done all

this work, you aren't to be sitting watching

her work. You need to take over. See, you couldn't

do that for 14 straight hours. Women do. And

they do it because it's God's given gift to them

to be a mother. We read that in chapter 2. So

let's go on. Chapter 5, verse 3 through 16. Honor,

temeo, to revere or venerate. Honor widows. Kera

is the word here. It means barren, without care

and support. A city with no inhabitants. Who

are truly widows. What does it mean to be truly

a widow? A widow who is truly a widow. is one

who cannot take care of herself. She's older.

Her husband is gone. Her kids are gone. She is

left alone. And if she is not taken care of,

supported, shepherded, provided for, she will

die. Because the man would go out and get all

the food and work and bring the money home and

then give it to her and she would make it. That's

the way it was back then. Now, you go to Chick

-fil -A. But in reality, Older women are truly

widows. But, it says in verse 4, but if a widow

has children or grandchildren, let them first

learn to show godliness to their own household.

Isn't that interesting? That there's two things

here, I think, that we need to be thoughtful

and considerate of. First, is that she must...

continue to show godliness to her own household,

and the children and grandchildren should learn

to show godliness to the widow. It means this

term, show godliness to their own household,

is to act piously, reverently with their family.

How many have you seen where their widows and

their left And they're wondering, why am I alone?

How come nobody loves me? Why is no one caring

about me after I've given everything I can to

them? What do you think happens? They get bitter,

angry. That can't be in the church. And it will

not be in this church. So let's keep reading.

They must show godliness, act piously, revantly

with their family, and to make some return to

their parents. You're like, what? So let's say,

A woman, her husband dies, and she has a mom

and dad. Guess where she should go? She should

go back home to her mom and dad because she has

no one else now to care for her, to help protect

her, to help support her, to give her guidance

when she needs it. You're not meant to live life

alone. If that was true, then why would God create

a helper fit for Adam? We're not meant to be

alone. And so this is a very important thing.

Make sure or make some return to their parents.

Notice it doesn't say all. It says some. Those

who cannot take care of themselves. Those who

need support. Those who need protection. Especially

in those days. For this is pleasing in the sight

of God. God is pleased with this. What would

the feminine movement say today? You can do it

on your own, girl. You're going to be just fine.

Go get a job. Okay. It's more than that. Next,

it says in verse 5, she who is truly a widow,

left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues

in supplications. She has no one else. She is

left truly alone. There is nobody there for her.

She has no family. She can't go home to nobody.

She is by herself. And look at what it says.

She turns to God as her hope. For widows, this

is what I want to give you. Turn to God as your

hope. He will take care of you. I promise you

that. And when you turn to him, you seek him,

you ask him, and you entreat. Lord, you said

you would take care of me. And then it says,

and prayers, addressing God. God, you are my

provider. You are. king. You have a cattle on

a thousand hills. You own everything. You know

I cannot do this on my own. I need you. That's

the idea here. And that's the type of woman this

particular widow is. Then he says, but, and she

does this night and day, mind you. It's not just

when she needs something. She's throwing up supplications

and prayers all day long. But, The woman or the

widow who is self -indulgent. Spataleo is the

word here. It's one who gives oneself to pleasure.

She is dead even while she lives. So what happens

sometimes with women who lose their husbands

if they're young, they give themselves over to

pleasures. They self -indulge themselves with

things and men. She doesn't realize that the

very life giver she has walked away from, the

one who would fulfill her pleasures, her needs,

her cares, she's now turned to the things that

are fleeting and dying, and she lives as if she's

dead. That's what it means here. Zeo nesko is

the word here, or thnesko, to live without life.

You're not going to live for God, you're going

to live a... lifeless life. And look what he

says here to Timothy. He says, command these

things as well, so that they may be without reproach.

So that no one can bring an accusation against

any of these widows. So that society doesn't

say, you're a burden on us. The church takes

on that burden. But if anyone does not provide

for his relatives, and especially for the members

of his own household, He has denied the faith

and is worse than an unbeliever. If you know

there's a widow in your family, your mother -in

-law, your mother, and you don't care for her,

you're worse than an unbeliever. That's what

it says here. For those who are caring for them,

praise God, godly men. Now, for those mothers

who refuse, like, no, I've done this all my life.

There's nothing you can do. And here it is. You

guys ready? So there is a way out for some of

you. You can't make your mama do it because that's

mama. And this is what it says. Let a widow be

enrolled. This word enrolled means choose to

be listed for care. Let a widow choose to be

listed for care if she's not less than 60 years

old or 60 years of age. So if she is 60 years

or older, you must allow her, if she chooses,

to come for care, care, protection. Why? Because

she was a wife of one husband. She has no one

else. She also is a woman of a good reputation.

She's having a reputation for good works. If

she has brought up children, has shown hospitality.

Here's the list of good works. Reputation of

good works. Brought up children. You hear that,

ladies? Keep raising your kids. It's good work.

What else does it say? Has shown hospitality.

You've been a good hostess. Thank you for caring

and sharing. Thank you for ladies' fellowship.

These ladies do good work. Look what else it

says. Has washed the feet of the saints. Spiritually

speaking, they wash our feet all the time. Has

cared for the afflicted and has devoted herself

to good work. That woman should be cared for.

Provided for, protected. There should never be

a need. If you can't pay the mortgage, we'll

pay it. If you can't feed yourself, we'll feed

you. All you have to do is go to caring and counseling

and they will take care of you. That's why we

have it. Whatever your need is. But look what

it says about the next woman. I promise. I'm

going to end at 14 because I can't get it all

in. Okay? Look what it says here. It's in the

next woman. But refuse to enroll younger widows.

Ouch. Why? Why can younger widows not be on the

list? Here's why. For when their passions, when

they want to act on impulse of sexual desire

is what this means. It's what it means. Draw

them away from Christ. This passion they have,

because they're young, they need to live out

this impulse to be desired. It draws them away

from Christ. Christ is no longer the source.

Younger women should not be on the list because

what happens is men are the ones that usually

come in and take care of the need. You ever thought

about that? It's one of the reasons why we drive

them to caring and counseling and caring and

sharing and ladies' fellowship. We drive them

to deaconesses. Very important. We want them

to be cared for, but we also want to empower

them to live holy. That's the idea here. That's

exactly what Paul means here to Timothy. And

then he says this. Why do they do this? Why do

they desire or why do their passions rule them?

Because they want to be married. They don't want

to be alone. I can tell you, it's one of the

things I've noticed about some of the young widows

that I've done ministry to. They don't want to

be alone. And then look what it says here. And

as a result, and so, verse 12, and so incur condemnation,

judgment of God, for having abandoned their former

faith. What does that mean? They have abandoned

what has been previously reliable, persistently

faithful, not pulled away. See, when they are

safe, When a woman is secure, when she knows

she's provided for, when all her needs are in

through the man by which God provides through

that man, and he is gone, she wonders what's

going to happen with me now. This is what it

says next. It says, besides that, they learn

to be idlers. They learn to be inactive or at

leisure. I will tell you, I've seen this happen.

They just give up. I don't want to do anything.

They go about. From house to house, it says here.

And not only idlers. This idea is they go about

the home alone and inactive. Not taking care

of her responsibilities. You remember what I

said in chapter 2? That she will be saved through

childbearing. It's not that she is born again

through childbearing. It means that she finds

her wholeness as a woman. In being busy doing

what women are created to do. Support and help.

It's the beauty of... of biblical feminism. It's

not the idea that I can run a business or I can

be the CEO of a large company, that I can make

thousands and thousands of dollars. Guess what

you miss out on? You miss out on the rearing

of your children and the joy of sharing life

with somebody because your life becomes your

business. And then it says this, she's not taking

care of her responsibilities, which means that,

but also gossips. She becomes a babbler. talking

and doing silly things. It's true. And busybodies

saying what they should not. This word busybodies

is neglecting the important things and busy not

minding their own business. They get into other

people's stuff because they have nothing else

to do. Remember, they're just being inactive

at home. They're not taking care of their responsibilities.

What else do I got to do? Hey, girl, did you

hear about this guy? Look, I know this girl.

She's with this guy like down the street. It's

exactly what happens. She needs to live for Christ,

desire him, seek him out in all things. She needs

to see the example of the widow who goes before

God, who is her hope, literally begging the Lord

to take care of her and giving him praise for

doing so. Verse 14, and I will end with this.

So I would have younger widows marry. That makes

sense. Here's what I mean. How many of you guys

married because you loved your spouse? I just,

I love them. If I didn't love you, I'd have married

you. Don't believe that. I'm going to wreck you

right now. I'm so sorry. You don't marry because

you're in love. You ever notice that the marriages

that quote unquote start off with love always

end in hate. But marriages that start off in

a commitment, understanding two very important

principles. Okay, you ready? You get married.

Because that person loves God more than they

love anyone else. The only person that matters

is Jesus. So I don't need you to fill my life.

I need you to partner with me. Fit my life. He

created a helper fit for him. The second is she

fits my life, right? She is like hand in glove.

She helps me. She is willing to sacrifice and

do everything that she needs to do to help me.

become all I can be in Jesus, and I do the same.

I say this a lot, and I know it drives my wife

crazy, but it's the truth. When I look at my

wife, 25, 26 years, be 26 years this June, 26

years, and I said, honey, I love you. When I

look at my life now, my love for her now, it's

not even close. I liked her a lot. I liked her.

Attraction isn't love. It's not a love. Attraction

is a lust. It's a desire. It's what God has given

us that we would desire one another. But love

demands not only that we live it, it demands

that it's a person. Love is Jesus. My love for

her is way different today than it was when I

first met her. So why should younger widows marry?

Because they learn to love. You learn love in

marriage. You have no idea, young people, what

love is. You have no clue. When you are at the

bedside after three miscarriages, you learn what

love is. That's love. When you stick through

thick and thin watching your mom pass away from

cancer, that's what love is. Feelings come and

go. Love is eternal. True love. It requires sacrifice.

So when I say I love her, I love her even when

at times I don't like her. And vice versa. I

mean, how many of you ladies know that your husband

gets on your nerves? Do you honestly really like

him at that moment? Okay. Donna's like, oh, pastor,

you should love her anyway. I do. I stay with

her. I'm willing to die with her. I want to be

the notebook guy holding hands as we both die

in bed together. So let me end it with this.

So I would have younger women marry bare children.

Why? She finds her. She fulfills her purpose

and her wholeness in being a mother. There is

no greater vocation for a woman than to be a

mom. And understanding that, even with PRC here

today, we should do everything we can to fight

for life. Because there is no greater calling

on any woman than that one calling, to be a mom.

Lastly, she must manage their households. Learn

to be busy at home. Learn, develop, grow. There

is no greater CEO, administrator, nurse, cook,

housekeeper than the woman. My wife can outwork

anybody. Lastly, and this is the end of this

verse, and give an adversary no occasion for

slander. See, when a young woman goes back into

her God -given role and responsibility, she eliminates

false accusations about her. As a matter of fact,

do you remember that woman that the Pharisees

brought before Jesus, caught her in adultery?

What did he say? We caught this woman in adultery.

How would you know? Were you watching through

the window, you little dirty dog? You know what

else? There's another story. The woman at the

well, where's your husband? Why are you over

here getting water? How come your husband's not

doing the work? It's his job. Why are you asking

me for water? I'm a woman. Go get your husband.

I don't have a husband. You're right. You have

five. This is an example. Isn't that interesting?

When a woman's not busy living out her God -given

purpose and responsibility, her calling, her

ordained vocation, she gets busy doing other

things. Enjoy being a woman, especially being

a beautiful woman of God. Father, I want to thank

you so much for your faithfulness and goodness.

To you be honor and glory. We give you praise.

You are God. And we thank you for the women in

our lives. Help us as a church to be faithful

with the widow. And to encourage the young widow

to continue to live out her role as a woman.

To take back biblical feminism. That you would

be high and lifted up and glorified in every

way. We praise you and thank you in Jesus' name.