The Mouth "Verbal Tattooing" - Pastor Dave Cornell

Well, it is great to be back here with you today.

Sometimes I just have to say, okay, now what

day is this? What church am I in, okay? I love

being at Mount Eaton. I've got to tell you, I

love Joe Cain. He is the real deal. He and I

sat together at the Pregnancy Resource Banquet

a month ago or so, and we just had a great time

together. And I need to tell you, I did a baptism

here January 3rd for three people who know me

from kind of a previous life. And the church

was gracious enough, Jody and Joe worked together,

the church was gracious enough to open the baptistry

for us. After worship practice, we were under

there looking for why it was cold and the water

was not. We had 40 people here for a private

baptism, and Joe was here that day cleaning up.

He's the real deal. I've been to churches all

across this country. I was in our church, which

is a church of about 300 for 38 years. Started

a bunch of churches. I have kids all over the

country. God has blessed you with a really good

man. Period end. There's nothing I get from this,

although you can think about that. He is the

real deal. I want to tell you that. So I love

Mount Eaton. I love coming here. Did a lot of

work here in 22 until Joe at the installation

service. Some of you remember that. And then

he was here. I would be here to come to church,

but I live in Stroudsburg. And we go to Mount

Bethel Church down in Mount Bethel. That's my

Scandinavian church, my wife's background. And

I love what they're doing down there, but that's

not my community. Just like I love what you're

doing here, but this is not my community. I'm

still committed to Stroudsburg and to all kinds

of people there. I teach, I speak, I mentor a

private foundation, visit a lot of older people.

do more than my share of funerals at this point,

but I'm really glad to be here with you. We're

going to be talking about the mouth this morning,

and there is an outline in your bulletin. I put

the title on it as verbal tattooing. You could

talk about it as words have power, whatever you

kind of wish, but that's what we're going to

be talking about. I'd like to read for us, before

we go any further, kind of a parallel piece to,

Owen, you didn't read Proverbs, did you? You

did. I don't recall that. Okay. Maybe I was talking

to Jody. I don't know. I'd like to read from

James 3 and contrast that to the power of life

and death is in the tongue. Compare and contrast

it. James chapter 3, reading verses 1 through

James 3 · chapter mention

12. Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren,

knowing that as such we will incur stricter judgment.

For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does

not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect

man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now

if we put the bits into horses' mouths so that

they will obey us, we direct their entire body

as well. Look at the ships also. Though they

are so great and driven by strong winds, are

still directed by a very small rudder whenever

the inclination of the pilot desires. So also

the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it

boasts great things. See how great a forest is

set aflame by such a small fire? And the tongue

is a fire, the very world of iniquity. The tongue

is set among our members as that which defiles

the entire body and sets on fire the course of

our life and is set on fire by hell. For every

species of beasts and birds and reptiles and

creatures of the sea is tamed and has been tamed

by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue.

It is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with

it we curse men who have been made in the likeness

of God. From the same mouth come both blessing

and cursing. My brethren, these things ought

not to be this way. Does a fountain send out

from the same opening both fresh and bitter water?

Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives?

Or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce

fresh. May God add his blessing. to His Word.

Can we bow for just a word of prayer? Oh Lord

God, we believe that this is in fact Your truth,

Your Word, Your ideas put into written form.

Lord, I thank You for that. I need that. I thank

You for my friends here. Lord, I ask that You

might take these faltering lips, this inadequate

message, and Lord, that you might direct it by

your Holy Spirit and use it in people's lives.

I thank you for this church, and I thank you

for the people. I pray you protect it and encourage

it and use it as a lighthouse continually. For

it's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Have you ever

said something, and right after you said it,

you wish you could take it back? Nobody, right?

Ever sent an email or a text, put the send button,

and you, oh no! Yeah, I know you can wipe it

away, but guess what? It doesn't always happen.

I was at an event recently, and I was talking

with my wife and another woman, and a person

came up who is severely challenged ethically.

He wanted to connect, and I verbally kneecapped

him. And then I was proud of myself, and then

I was grieved. And now I have to apologize. I

don't want to do that. Any one of you would say,

if I gave you the background of this, off. He

deserved it. He got what was coming to him. But

that's not true because the Bible says, vengeance

is mine, saith the Lord. And when you or I take

vengeance on somebody, guess what we're doing?

We're stealing from God. And I don't want to

be in that category. We can remove tattoos. I've

called this verbal tattooing. You can see that.

We can remove tattoos, but we can't remove words.

Not easily. Words express how we feel and how

we think, don't they? They can hurt, and yet

they can also heal. And today I would like to

talk more about healing than hurting, but we're

going to start with the first. Job said to his

comforters in chapter 19, How long will you vex

my soul and break me in pieces with words? Words

matter, and being in the Lord's work all these

years has made me acutely aware of the significance

of not just people's words, but my words. Phrases

assembled in my mind are understood by those

who hear them through the grid of thousands of

experiences, all sorts of backgrounds and personalities.

A word, a tone, a gesture can mean so many different

things to various people, things that maybe I

don't want to communicate at all. If it were

not for the truth of the Word of God and the

presence of the Spirit, I couldn't speak. Friends,

I know the power of words to wound. And maybe

you have been wounded really badly or really

recently. I don't know. But I also know the power

of words to heal. And I'm so grateful for that.

I have heard words so appropriate, so gracious,

so timely, so loving, which have so wonderfully

addressed the need of the moment that I'm speechless.

That's why words are so important to God as well.

Because our words carry impact, God holds us

accountable for them, not only for the harmful,

hurting ones that wound, but also for those that

lack of them when they could heal, or their presence

when they heal. Now there's a teaching outline

in your bulletin, and here's the idea. Living

wisely means speaking wisely. And this is taken

from James, because James is the only book of

wisdom in the New Testament. And I would like

to consider this morning how James contrasts

and compares to Proverbs 18 .21. The power of

life and death is in the tongue. So think with

me. James 3 is a primer on, first of all, the

seriousness of negative words. And he outlines

five principles, if you look at those first six

verses, to show their gravity. I'm going to take

this from James 3, verses 1 through 5 and 6,

James 3:1–5

okay? He says, we all stumble. Yeah, we do. I

do, regularly. Stumble indicates that the words

that I use when they're negative are immature.

That's the idea. If any person does not stumble,

he is a full or complete or mature person, not

sinless. And who has not felt the piercings of

negative words, right? Maybe false words, maybe

even true words. but certainly unkind and inconsiderate.

Stumble indicates that these words are words

of immaturity. Words may seem small, and he uses

the idea of a horse's bit or a rudder for a ship,

small in comparison to a larger situation, but

that masks their significance. That's the missing

word. Words seem really small, but that masks

their significance. Termites are really tiny

too, but they are a terror. Someone was telling

me that the pillars on the support beams down

in the basement of the church over there were

taken out because of powder beetles. How about

that? Words can shower sparks, missing word,

that create big problems. Maybe it's a lust for

gossip. Maybe it's a shading of the conversation

show you or I come across as being better, more

significant, and more appropriate than we are.

Shading conversations can really lead to trouble.

In James 3, verse 6, the source of sinful speech

James 3:6

is indicated as evil or hell. Jode Stoll, a great

exposer, calls them the dynamite in our dentures.

And you know what? And I've done this. Maybe

you have. Our words can switch from poison to

pious in a moment, can't they? But God is not

fooled. Matthew 12, verse 34 says, Out of the

Matthew 12:34

abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Proverbs

12, 18 expands on this at the top of your outline.

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue

of the wise brings healing. How many of you have

ever gone on a fishing boat out of New Jersey,

beyond land, getting bass or bluefish or something

like that? Anybody done that? All right, a few

of you. You know what happens when you get the

fish, you give them to the mate afterwards, and

he fillets them, right? And the boat is pitching,

sometimes a lot more than you want it to. The

boat's rocking, and the mate's filleting the

fish on the back end. And that knife is, and

you think, oh man, this guy's, he's got his hand

like this and he's cutting like that. That knife

is really, really, really sharp. And that's better

than not because you don't want to try to do

that twice or struggle with it. You want to do

it cleanly and neatly and not cut your finger.

Words can cut like knives or like box cutters

or like a sharp knife slicing open flesh. That

gains our attention. The truth is that all too

many people, and all too many of us, me included,

have spoken at times with daggers, who have box

cutter -like conversations, people who would

never think of drawing a knife and slashing it

across a stomach or a face or a hand. And God

gives that picture in order to draw our attention

to it. It's an image. It's an image the Bible

wants us to have as it speaks of the seriousness

of false, maybe brutally honest, or slanderous,

or malicious speech. and I am personally grieved

at my own part in this, and yet personal discomfort

should not prevent me from speaking it just because

I'm uncomfortable. Someone asked me, I won't

tell you who it was, but someone asked me, are

you preaching to us or are you preaching to yourself?

And you know what the answer is? I'm preaching

to myself. And if God uses that in your soul,

great, glad to hear it. But this message is a

message for me, and I believe for you. And it's

what God laid on my heart several months ago

when Joe asked if I'd speak today. Now the Bible

does not say that no man can tame the tongue

to make us miserable and hopeless. But so that

we might know this, that self -effort cannot

cure us. We must have the indwelling control

of the Lord. In other words, as you see here,

our evil cannot be self -managed. That's the

idea. Either Christ controls us or the venom

of self will. It's not to make us hopeless. And

I would say right away, right at the beginning

of the message, if you're here this morning and

you don't know where you stand with Christ, where

you stand with God, then I would urge you, take

a few minutes and come to the place that I did

when I was a sophomore in college, 20 years,

a lot more than 20 years ago. Hey, watch that.

I'm talking about speech here. That's not nice.

Oh, man, what a crowd. I was 20 years old. And

a friend of mine had become a believer. Great

guy. He'd been a wild man. Great guy. And we

got together the next year, sophomore year, and

I said to him, hey, we're both athletes. And

I said, hey, Don, what's with you? You're different.

You're still a great guy. He said, Dave, I've

begun a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

Can I share that with you? I said, yeah. And

he shared with me a gospel pamphlet. I wasn't

ready to sign on, but I thought about it. I thought

about it a long time, months. Finally, one night,

I became convinced that the resurrection of Jesus

was real. And if I was trying to manage and direct

my life myself, I was a fool. And so that night

where I lived, I knelt down where I lived and

I said, Lord, I believe that you rose from the

dead. And I want to entrust my life to you. I

believe you died for me and rose from me. Nothing

special happened that night except that I became

a Christian, a follower of Christ. And if you're

not sure where you are, where you stand with

God, before this day is out, take some time and

say, oh God, and mean it. If you don't mean it,

God won't take it. Oh Lord, I want to trust my

life to you. I want to make sure that I'm rightly

related to you. You will not regret it. We must

have the indwelling control of the Lord. And

while transforming our tongues requires supernatural

strength, God has made some real solid resources

available to us. These resources are called the

truth or the armor of God. The first piece of

armor that God gives us is truth. The Bible teaches

that truth is our source of spiritual energy.

That's why Joe is a great Bible teacher. I've

got to tell you, he's wonderful. I love listening

to him. He knows the Word, and he's committed

to giving it to you. And by the way, he leaves

it all out in the field. He deserves that break

that you as a congregation have given to him.

I hope he comes back refreshed. And as we discover

and process God's word, the indwelling spirit

of Jesus, the Holy Spirit, transforms truth into

growth and growth into a pattern of managing

life by the strength of God. And so God has blessed

us with a wealth of truth when it comes to having

positive speech and managing the tongue. And

here is the good news. That little member of

our body, that's going to eat the pizza, is just

as able to heal as it is to wound. And that is

what I think we want to focus on today. How do

I have that? I'd like to emphasize speaking helpfully,

not negatively. Many of the best instructions

for us are given in Proverbs, and so I'll quote

liberally from that. So what does Scripture say

about the power of positive words? We're going

to take a look at their marks, number one, and

their makings, number two. So first of all, their

marks. What are they? Well, they are honest.

Righteous lips, Proverbs says, are a delight

of kings. What does that mean? It means right

means straight. I'll be straight with you, honest

with you. Healing words may be words of reproof.

You know what? I had a guy in my church, about

every year and a half, he'd come to me and say,

Dave, I need to talk to you about this. And it

stung, but he was right, and it helped me. Righteous

words may be words of reproof, or words that

excise, cut out the problem, or spiritual infection

in our lives, and then allow real growth to occur.

Proverbs 27 .6 says, Faithful are the wounds

of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of

an enemy. That is really true. A true friend

will carefully but occasionally say, you know

what? You need to understand this. You need to

hear this. I'm risking our relationship. You

need to hear this. Proverbs 17 .10 says this

as a balancer, though, a counter. A rebuke goes

into a wise man a hundred times deeper than into

a fool. That means be really careful if and when

you rebuke somebody. Be careful. Secondly, not

only will they be apt, they will be few. Proverbs

17 .8 makes the point. Even a fool can be mistaken

as being wise if he says nothing. In other words,

the less said, the less that can be used against

you. And for a neighbor's good, fewer words may

maintain a friendship. In other words, don't

show up in their house, call them on the phone,

text them and email them all the time. Did I

hurt anybody's feelings with that? I don't know

of anybody here doing that. I don't. When words

are many, Proverbs 10 .19, transgression is not

lacking. James 1 .17 says, let everyone be quick

to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. That is

the best counseling verse I know. Thirdly, they

will be calm. Healing words are calm. Sparing

use of words is commended as the mark of a cool

spirit in Proverbs 17. And that often denotes

a person of understanding, wisdom, and grace.

Why? It allows for a fair hearing. Your parents,

I have six children. I know something about being

a parent and something about making mistakes.

I learned hard you better not accuse your kids

of something if you don't have all the facts.

It's very easy to come to a prejudicial conclusion.

Calm words allow for a fair hearing. They allow

tempers to cool, and its influence is potent.

Comfort is a ministry of the Holy Spirit. and

the people in which he lives, those who belong

to Christ. Comfort or soothing has a sense of

to soften or loosen to it. You can read about

that in Ecclesiastes and in Revelation 22 too,

where it says, and the leaves of the tree were

for the therapy or the healing of the nations.

Proverbs 15 .4 says, a wholesome tongue is a

tree of life. It bears and supports lots of good

things, but a false lying tongue wounds. Think

about what you would like in a friend. I've had

some great friends across my life. I still have

a bunch of them. Think about what you'd want

in a friend. You want someone who's encouraging,

right? Someone who shares solid perspective when

asked. By the way, don't give advice unless you're

asked, or unless you're asked to preach. Paul

Tournier, a great old Christian medical doctor

from Switzerland, said this. Unsolicited advice

is really criticism in disguise. That's a potent

statement. Think about what you'd like in a friend.

Someone who shares an encouraging perspective,

a solid perspective when they're asked, who perceives

need when it's present, who restrains themselves

even when provoked. You know what? There's not

a lot of good said about passion. in Scripture.

In fact, it says passion is rottenness to the

bones. I know it's a big cultural word now. Everybody

has passion. There's a passion for that, a passion

for the next thing. Not a lot of good said about

passion. A lot of good said about calmness and

comfort. What does a friend like that feel like?

It feels really good, especially in a time of

need. Not a sharp tongue, but a soothing tongue.

Sharp is made to cut. Soothing is made to comfort.

Fourthly, they'll be apt. They are honest, few,

calm, and apt. A right answer is crafted with

love and thought to the need of the moment and

given with grace. Like apples of gold and settings

of silver, as the proverb says, which is quoted

by Abraham Lincoln in his second inaugural address

and carved in stone in Washington. Aptness, the

words of a good person, a good friend, a good

companion, a good Christian are a tree of life.

Think about what a large fruit or nut tree, like

a hickory tree. A lot of shagbark hickory around

here. I mentioned this is the first service.

Hickory nuts, great food, good for you. Terrific

wood for building or supporting or beams, mine

timbers, houses, etc. And great for burning fires.

It's supportive, nourishing, encouraging, warm.

Proverbs 15, 4 say, a good man finds his words

bearing fruit. both in the good that comes back

to him as well as the benefits which accrue to

others. Fifthly, they'll be timely words. Oh,

this is really important. To speak a word in

season to him that is weary. In season means

at the appropriate time. Feelings can be lacerated

by a clumsy or a cruel thrust. Chapter 18, verse

14. On the other hand, they may be revitalized

by a timely word. Their sweetness to the soul,

Proverbs 16, 24. Timely. I wouldn't be a bit

surprised if every one of us has someone come

across the orbit of our life this week who gives

to us that sense of this person really needs

a lift today. God allows that in his sovereignty,

and God uses us in our preparedness for that.

Next, they are grace -filled words. Colossians

4, 6 says, let your speech be seasoned with grace

as it were with salt, that you might know how

to respond to the need of the moment. You know,

you'll come across people, maybe this week, they've

lost their job. Their child has really strayed.

There's an impending divorce. The ex is doing

awful things. Maybe they lost a family member.

Maybe their finances are shattered. How do you

speak? How do you speak when you come across

a situation like that? Do you say, oh, you know,

whenever God closes a window, he opens a door?

You know what that is? That's Christian blather.

Yeah, blather. In other words, something trite,

which sounds like Christian speak or Christianese,

but it literally has no thought behind it at

all. Or do we pause? Do we digest the importance

of this moment to that person and then try to

be supportive? in that moment, in a way that

gives them more hope and strength than they had

previously. You know, I know Joe's going to be

gone this week and going to be out of town. If

you'd like, I can come over and take care of

the baby so you can go food shopping so that

when he comes home, you don't have to do that.

You can spend that time with him. Okay? Those

are the marks of healing speech. How are they

made? How are they produced? Well, having Christ

in your life, Lord of your life, your God, Savior,

is the starting point because then the moment

you trust Him, His Spirit comes to indwell your

life. And He wants to use your life and my life.

Speak through us and use us. He wants people,

He wants the world to recognize that we're children

of our Heavenly Father by the way we act, by

the way we speak, by the way we be, by the priorities

we set, by the way we use our money and so forth.

So I need to have Christ in me, His Spirit living

within me. And second line, need to live out

Colossians 3 .8. Put aside anger, wrath, malice,

slander. Let no abusive speech come from my heart

through my mouth. It comes from my heart. It's

an ongoing process. And I blow it regularly.

Typically in my life, I like to make funnies.

And sometimes they don't come across as funny.

They're useless. So the old timers, that's more

than me. For all those of you who have left.

Middle ages and on. Used to call this the mortification

of the flesh. The putting to death that flesh

that I want to put me first. And wisdom is the

guiding principle. And wisdom comes from putting

the Lord first. The fear of the Lord is the beginning

of wisdom. The deep respect. Not my feelings.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

That means I want what I say to please the one

who I call God. And so I'm aware that the words

I utter will be recorded. Then when I set aside

my feelings and ask God to do the driving of

my life, his wisdom helps to discriminate whether

to speak and when to speak and how to say it.

It's not enough, friends, just to refrain from

speaking, to zip the lip, right? That's not good

enough. That's kind of like the citizen. You

know, you don't go to prison if you are a citizen

and you obey the laws. As long as you don't break

the law, they're not going to arrest you, I don't

think, and put you in jail. But in God's kingdom,

that's not enough. It's not enough just to not

do the wrong. In God's kingdom, James says, Him

who knows what to do, what is right to do, and

does it not, it's sin, right? We're to do what's

right in God's sight as well. It's not enough

to simply refrain from speaking, to not show

the poison that's under my tongue. Rather, the

mind of the righteous ponders how to answer,

Proverbs 15, 28. But the mind of the wicked pours

out evil things. Bad, harmful, miserable, troublesome

things. Isaiah 50, verse 4 says, The Lord has

Isaiah 50:4

given me the tongue. of the trained or the disciple,

that I may know how to sustain the weary one

with a word. All this being said, words have

weaknesses also. Words are no substitute for

deeds. They cannot alter facts. Brazen denials

and emotional excuses will have no impact to

God. They cannot compel a response. The Bible

says in Proverbs 29, 19, a servant is not disciplined

by mere words. Though he understands what you're

saying, he will not give heed. You know what

that sounds like? My kids. And yours. There's

got to be some discipline behind it. Sorry, that's

old school. Okay, lastly, what hinders healing

words? What contributes to a scorching tongue?

If the tongue of the wise brings health, it's

the unregulated and undisciplined that scorch

and hurt. So here's what hinders it. Number one,

speaking without thought or consideration. Number

two, giving momentary relief to our feelings,

making feel good for the minute, for piercings,

to speaking cautiously without thought. There

are some of us who do not bridle our verboseness

and probably should. That means too talkative

if you don't know what verboseness is. Versus

the tongue of the wise is gentle and brings comfort.

Thirdly, here's a nourishing my inner martyr.

Do any of you have an inner martyr? Oh, man,

I can't believe what they did to us, what he

did to me, what she did to me. An employer, a

church, leadership, spouse, child, parent, you

name it. Nourishing your inner martyr won't help

you produce healing words. What prevents me from

having a healing tongue? What experience? Is

it the scars that I bear that are too difficult

to touch and make me unpleasant? You know what

they say? Hurt people hurt people. Is it painful

discomfort with myself that causes me to constantly

compare myself to others? What is the healing

the Bible speaks of and do I really want it?

Or do I recklessly want what I want regardless?

Do I want to think about the one who controls

my tongue and controls what I write about online?

Who is in control? really shows where I am with

God. Ephesians 4 .21 says, let no unwholesome

word, that word is the word sapros, S -A -P -R

-O -S. We get our word sap from it. Now other

than maple syrup and maybe birch bark, have any

of you ever tasted the sap of a tree when you

were kids? Broken twigs? It's bitter. That's

where you get this word sap from, sapros. Let

no bitter word, no unwholesome word proceed out

of your mouth. How many of you have gardens and

you raise tomatoes? Anybody? Got any tomatoes

yet? Any ripe tomatoes yet? What happens when

you get a nice, big, fat, juicy beefsteak, ripe

tomato, and you put it somewhere in the kitchen,

who knows where? And you put it there, and you

forget about it, and it begins to... What does

it smell like? It stinks! That's what God's talking

about. Let no unwholesome... bitter word. It's

literally used as spoiled fish, decayed trees,

and rotten fruit. Something that smells and tastes

bad. In each case, it's something which should

nourish or be helpful, but which has quietly

rotted its way into being garbage and being thrown

out. Here's the last one, mental laziness. Too

often we want to give the least costly answer

in terms of time and thought. an emotional connection.

And so we give a Christianese answer, like I

talked about earlier, something that sounds spiritual,

but holds little substantive truth. Well, I have,

I've run out of gas. And I would say to you,

that's of God, because you've heard enough. Now

you're faced, and I am faced with a choice. I

need to consciously say, Lord, I want you to

be the Lord of my mouth, not just to prevent

the venom from coming out, but so that you can

use my mouth to bless people. Will you do that?

Let's pray. Lord, I thank you for this church.

I thank you for these people who have come on

a hot Sunday to listen to your word. And I pray,

Lord, I ask you to help these ideas and these

words resonate, ricochet through their minds,

Lord. And I ask you, Lord, that for the people

who right now are asking you to take control

of their responses so that they are apt and calm

and few and timely and grace -filled. Oh, Lord,

might you bless their lives. And through that,

bless lots of others in this church and out of

it. And we'll give you all the glory in Jesus'

name. Amen.