Father's Day | Breaking The Cycle | Pastor Julie Signorelli

Foreign.

I want you to lean into this word with your heart.

And I really feel like in the next 30 or so minutes that God is

going to do a work in you.

And this isn't just for the fathers, although that is who I wrote

it for.

Because not every man here is a father.

But this is for the man men of this church.

And if you're a lady in here today, a girly pop, and you're at

this service, this word is also for you, because I have a responsibility

as the pastor of this church to disciple women who honor men.

Cancel me.

Okay?

But not this week because it's a little stressful.

Next week is fine, but I. I lost my dad in 2018, just shortly

after we planted our church.

Me and him were very close.

I had a great dad.

I had the best dad.

In fact, I'm wearing his watch today just to honor him.

And you know, he's just the best.

And if I talk anymore, I'll cry.

But just know he's.

He's the goat.

And we're grateful for him.

And I'm grateful for his life and his legacy of faith.

I've preached about him a whole lot and.

And so if you want to hear that, you can lean into those other

sermons.

And then I'm married to a man who had a broken relationship with

his father.

Really a non existent one, to be honest.

And even the one that they had for the short time they had, it was

filled with, you know, abuse, neglect, and, you know, just non

existent.

What do they call it?

Complicated.

And I like to think of Mike and I on Father's Day.

How many ever seen the movie Forrest Gump?

Okay, you know that scene when he's in the war and he's carrying

Lieutenant Dan?

Right.

Are you tracking with me?

And he's traumatized, and Lieutenant Dan doesn't have any limbs.

That's me and Mike and Father's Day.

And I don't know which one's which, but me and him have learned

in our years of marriage over the last, you know, however many

years without a dad, and learning about that father wound

after the loss of my own father, my.

And getting new empathy and getting new revelation about how

I interact with him as a spouse.

It's quiet.

Is this gonna help somebody today?

So today I know that there are many sides of this father wound.

Mike's been taking us through the father wound.

How many just received such rich revelation a few weeks ago when

he preached that sermon?

Amen.

If you haven't heard it, you need to go back and hear it again.

And if Father's Day is a hard day for you, I would encourage you

to listen to it today.

And you can't have too much Jesus.

Amen.

And so I've seen many sides of the father wound.

And one thing I've learned is this, is that the condition of a

man's heart affects the condition of his family.

You can't struggle as a father and it not affect the family.

And when fathers feel what fathers feel, the home also feels.

And if you had a dad even like mine, who, you know did not hide

his frustration, the dog felt it.

Amen.

And so what father?

But here's the thing.

So fathers, they're kind of the temperature control of the home.

And what.

But it's not just about what fathers feel, because what fathers

heal.

Amen.

The home can inherit.

So the Bible gives us a couple of examples, many examples of this.

But the one I'm gonna focus on today, and if you were in Manhattan,

I shared a little bit about this last week, is three generations.

You have Laban, you have Jacob, and you have Joseph.

So you have three men, three different generations, three different

homes.

And how God interacts and what the choices of those men and how

it affects the future legacy.

I'm gonna pray.

Lord Jesus, I just thank you for the men of this church and God,

I know that there are many men who are suffering in silence.

I know that there are many women who feel hopeless to how to

interface with their spouse about this father wound.

And so today, Lord, I pray that you would help me preach this

message with as much depth as you revealed it to me.

And so, Lord, I thank you for what you're going to do in Jesus

name.

Amen.

I'm gonna read a couple chunks of scripture and I would say this

sermon has about five or so points.

And we're gonna first talk about laban.

Okay?

Genesis 29, 15:30.

I'm just gonna read this very quickly.

And I'm reading in the NIV cause it's just easier for me to

say, okay.

All right.

After Jacob had stayed with him for a whole month, Laban said

to him, just because you are a relative of mine, should you work

for me for nothing?

Tell me what your wages should be.

And now Laban had two daughters.

The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger

was Rachel.

Leah had weak eyes.

In other words, she ugly.

Now, if there's one phrase we're gonna ban at V1 church, don't

be telling people she got weak eyes.

Speak life.

This is Before Botox and all those things.

Let's not hate on her too much.

But Rachel had a lovely figure.

Calm down, Niv.

And was beautiful.

Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, I'll work for you for seven

years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.

Laban said, it's better that I give her to you than to some other

man.

Stay here with me.

So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but seemed like only

a few days to him because of his love for her.

So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave

a feast.

But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah, Old weak eyes.

Hello.

And brought her to Jacob.

And Jacob laid with her.

And Laban gave his servant to his daughter as an attendant.

And when morning came, there was Leah.

We got Leah.

Y' all are supposed to laugh at that.

There was Leah.

Can you imagine going through an entire ceremony and realizing

you married the wrong one?

So Jacob said to Laman, what have you done to me?

I served you for Rachel, didn't I?

Why have you deceived me?

And Laban replied, it is not our custom here to give the younger

daughter in marriage before the older one.

Finish this daughter's bridal week.

Then you will give the younger one also in return for another seven

years of work.

And Jacob did so.

He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his

daughter Rachel to be his wife.

Laban gave his servant to his daughter Rachel as her attendant.

And Jacob laid with Rachel also.

And his love for Rachel was greater than his love for Leah.

And he worked for Laban for another seven years.

Here's the thing.

Laban was a toxic father.

Now in your life, you have either, not everybody, I had a good

dad.

But for.

For most people, somewhere around your family lineage, you either

experience whether it was your own father, a cousin, an uncle, a

grandfather, you have either been a toxic father or you have experienced

one.

Can I get an amen?

It's been in your proximity.

You've seen its fruit.

So one of the ways that Laban controlled was he changed the wages

constantly.

He was always changing the way that relation, the way the rules

of engagement for relationships.

He was changing the outcomes.

He was changing the expectations.

And the goal posts were constantly moving for the seven years.

Then he gets a wife swap, then works for another seven years.

And when you're dealing with a toxic father, it's never, ever, ever

enough.

And so if you're like, why can't I just, you know, get past

this thing in my fatherhood, a question that you Might want to ask

yourself is, did I experience a toxic father or mal figure that

have affected the way that I parent my children?

Now, Laban was toxic, but Jacob was goofy.

Who gets married and doesn't realize that they married the wrong

lady with weak eyes?

The.

Have you ever seen a Jewish wedding?

It's wild.

I mean, there's dancing and music and layers and symbolism and

there.

And so here's what I think may have happened.

I think Jacob may have gotten in the wine vat.

I said it's not.

I'm just guessing.

And so it's very interesting that the first thing he does after

an entire wedding and wedding night is he wakes up in the morning

angry with somebody else who didn't notice.

A lot of people noticed.

Are you kidding me?

Not everybody was, you know, well, allegedly, Jacob being drunk

at the wedding.

I don't know.

It's just my two cents.

But how many family members, how many wedding attendants, how

many guests notice that, you know, does he know that he's not

marrying, raped, you know, the old weak guys over there?

But here you think like, oh, I would have said something.

Would you, though?

Because when you're in the.

The realm of a toxic leader, a toxic parent, a toxic grandfather,

what tends to happen is that the person with the most control,

everybody around them, wants to keep the peace.

And so the truth gets silenced.

How much tiptoeing do the family have to do around this, you

know, toxic father, this toxic grandfather, this toxic uncle?

Right.

How much do we have to, you know, like, you know, are you the

kind of family where you have to strategize before you go in the

house and how you're going to interface with dad?

This is real.

And so we have this situation.

But here's the thing.

This is actually something that's generational that Jacob is

experiencing.

Because the only reason why Jacob is even with Laban is because

just a little bit before, he deceived his brother by an old bait

and switch.

So he's walking in a generational curse of favoritism.

He's walking in a generational curse of changing the rules.

He's walking in a generational curse of toxicity.

And so now the door is open.

Laban was toxic, but he was paying the bills.

He had the control.

Laban was controlling.

But here's the thing.

When the home revolves around one person's emotion, everybody has

to tiptoe.

Some of you men may have grown up in a home where the only emotion

that was ever exhibited was fear and anger.

Fear you felt silently and Anger was the only thing that taught

you.

So Jacob is walking now in generational iniquity.

And how many know that you just keep going around the same mountain?

I tell my kids, if you don't deal with the iniquity, if you don't

deal with the sin, you're going to continue taking the same

test over and over and over until you pass it.

And guess what?

If you don't pass it, the next generation will have to take it to

a greater degree.

So yeah, if you've grown up with a less than perfect father,

we are subject to disappointment, we are subject to

shame, control, fear, fear of death.

But what do we do with that?

And how do we lead a family when we're living in that?

Point number two, it's never about the argument.

Let me read a little further.

Genesis 31, 1924.

It said then when Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole

her father's household gods.

G, O, D, lowercase, okay.

Demonic.

Moreover, Jacob deceived Laban by not telling him he was running

away.

So now we've got multiple points of deception, multiple points

of generational trauma, multiple points of generational lying

and deception.

So he fled with all he had, crossed the Euphrates river, headed

to the hill for Gilead.

And on the third day, Laban was told that Jacob fled, taking

his relatives with him.

He pursued Jacob for seven days and caught up with them in the

hill country of Gilead.

Do you know how angry you have to be to catch up to somebody with

a three day head start on foot?

Man, I tell you what, I was mad on the lie on the way here.

And I felt that I was like, you cut me off, I'm gonna catch up.

I'm not saying it was godly.

I'll see you at the altar.

But sometimes anger will give you supernatural endurance.

Supernatural and not godly.

Supernatural, demonic.

Supernatural power to have the energy to even put the effort into

trying to defeat somebody.

Can you imagine being so angry that you that that means that he

didn't sleep, he didn't eat, he didn't stop.

I don't even think he let people go to the bathroom.

I mean, you're catching up on foot.

That's crazy.

So Rachel steals Laban's demonic gods.

And so why would a man, why would a grown man with a family,

with a, with a property, with children?

Why would a grown man chase his daughters, his son in law, his

grandchildren over dinky little idols?

Because it wasn't about the idols.

Sometimes you guys are fighting battles.

Ladies with Your husband about the dishes.

You're fighting battles about the hours at work or the hours at

church or the hours that they're spending on the word.

Sometimes you're fighting battles and these little teeny dinky

things that you're spending all your time, all your energy.

You know how you just, anybody have just extra energy to fight.

It's like you read your Bible for 20 minutes, argue, yes, please.

We're like, I got all day.

It's kind of like those people online that just never give up.

They're posting about, you know, Trump or Biden or what, you

know, whatever.

And it's just like every day they've got like text threads and

I'm like, get a job.

Who is posting this much?

It's not about the idols.

It was about what they represented.

Laban lost control.

Laban lost security.

Laban lost his identity.

Laban lost his authority.

And many men are sitting in this service today angry, feeling

like they've lost control, they've lost security, they've lost

identity.

And sometimes they're fighting battles at work, they're fighting

battles in church, they're fighting battles at home.

And it's never about the Bible study.

It's not about the dishes.

It's not about the political figure.

Underneath is often anger, hurt, fear, shame, rejection, feeling

unseen.

Laban wasn't just angry.

Laban was hurt.

And I'm not empathizing with him because he was crazy as a bedbug,

but he was losing his family, he was losing his influence.

He was allowing demons to control and make and allow him to

influence his decisions.

And many men.

I just want to let me break the code for my ladies in here.

Many men are actually not controlling because they have control.

They're controlling because they don't have control.

I'm not trying to get you to empathize with somebody with that

kind of toxic masculinity, but what I want to at least get you to

understand is behind every anger is wound.

Behind every anger is sin.

Behind every generational trauma is a lot of times iniquity,

abuse, fear.

And so, men, it is so important that you give your whole

life to the Holy Spirit.

You ask the Holy Spirit, should I say this?

You ask the Holy Spirit how to argue?

Yep, I said it.

You could do that.

You know how many times I had to go home prayed up knowing I had

Lululemon bags in the back?

All right, Lord, just give me the wisdom.

What do I say?

I had a $25 gift card, which only made the bill $200.

Next Point.

And this is where I'm going to just disciple the women and men.

You are going to feel so validated for the next few minutes.

Come on, puff up your chest.

Men, ladies, calm down.

I got you.

Men.

I got you.

Ladies, I'm going to lovingly challenge you with this.

We need to create an environment where men can follow

Jesus.

I'm going to read this proverbs to you.

Proverbs 14, 1 3.

A wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish

one tears her down.

Whoever fears the Lord walks uprightly, but those who despise

him are devious in all their ways.

A fool's mouth lashes out with pride, but the lips of the wise protect

them.

Ladies, there's a cost to following Jesus.

It's going to cost your man his time.

It's going to cost your man his finances.

It's going to cost him to get invested into the kingdom emotionally.

It's going to cost him some weekends where he goes to the men

of valor retreat and deals with the deep issues of his heart

that for whatever reason, he just can't talk to you about yet

because he needs godly men to cheer him on and say, you can do

it without the guilt of taking out the garbage on a Friday night.

Man in the back said, amen.

There's a cost, ladies.

We cannot have it all.

You cannot have the weekends uninterrupted.

You can't have the finances uninterrupted.

You can't have.

You know, every single honey do list checked off the thing.

If you want a man that is sold out to Jesus, you're going to have

to sacrifice some things.

You're going to have to stop the nagging.

Every time he wants to go to his connect group, you're going to.

Come on.

We got to create environments that equip men to serve God fully

with their whole life.

And I know this because I failed in this area for many years.

You know I would.

You don't talk to me like that.

Well, that's why he don't talk to you, Jules.

That was me talking to myself at some point.

Every man who's going to fulfill God's full destiny for his

life has to fully follow God.

You can't guilt them for working hard.

If you got a man that takes the overtime, give that man a pat

on the back and make his lunch.

It was quiet.

Long island didn't like that.

The men are loving it.

We can't guilt them for having godly generosity.

We can't guilt them for wanting to serve on the security

team or getting involved in the men's ministry.

I just have to disciple here for a minute because that may not

be an issue in your home, but I've seen it many, many times in

my lion Pastor exa, where this is an issue in marriage.

Now, granted, there are times where your campus pastor does have

to intervene and say, buddy boy, take a seat.

Go take your wife to.

What's the steakhouse out here?

Prime or something.

I need to go out to eat Applebee's.

I'll take Applebee's.

I'm low maintenance.

But we can't have it all, ladies.

We have to understand that our husbands have to follow God.

We have to give them room to pray.

We have to give them room to process.

We have to take the kids so that they can actually read the Bible.

This is real.

I remember when I would just nag and nag and nag, and one day

the Holy Spirit said, julie, Jules.

That's how he talks to me.

Jules, shut up.

Even God was annoyed.

Shut up, please.

And I'm not saying, ladies, I'm calling you to wear, you know,

dresses and be barefoot in the kitchen.

I haven't cooked all week, girl.

Not a one.

I mean, my husband's out of town, but I still wouldn't have heaven

anyways.

But when you're constantly trying to.

Because here, man.

Can I say something controversial?

Sometimes in Christian households, the family becomes the

actual idol.

There are times.

Mike, first of all, I want to let you know.

Mike always puts me first.

Always, Always.

If he's out of the country, he puts me first.

If he's.

But what I've learned is sometimes him dedicating time to

the Lord to go fulfill the calling on his life is putting me

first.

And again, you have to be in a church.

You have to be in a connect group to discern when too much is

too much.

But I've seen people sacrifice.

It's just like with the parable of the wedding feast, when

the guy's trying to invite all these people to be at the wedding

feast, and one of them says, I just got married.

I'm so sorry.

I got to be with.

I got to be with my spouse.

And they missed an encounter with the Lord because they idolized

the time with family instead of having both at the altar.

Bring your bride to the church.

Take that girl to Applebee's after service.

Yes.

Here's what spirit filled men need.

These are just a couple things they need.

Honor.

Proverbs 13.

One, a wise son heeds his Father's instruction.

But a mocker does not respond to rebukes.

They don't need worship.

Although, you know, sometimes I'm like, boo, you are the king.

You know, just in our house.

Okay, you guys, are you uptight or something?

I'm just teasing.

They don't need worship.

They don't need blind agreement or just, you know, whatever

you say.

I am your wife.

That's not what we're saying.

But what spirit filled men need is that you trust them to lead

you in the things of God.

Let me show you.

Can I just crack the door open?

Into what?

A signorelli marriage.

Men leading example.

Is that okay?

Because this isn't in my notes.

You guys want to see behind the glass, behind the curtain?

This is what it looks like.

Michael, come to me with something.

And sometimes it looks one of two ways.

What do you think about this?

Or it's.

This is what God spoke to me about.

Now when he says, this is what God spoke to me about, I know that

he is going to be accountable to God if he is wrong.

So when I submit to him, I'm blessed.

Because even if he's wrong, God.

I've seen God over and over and over honor me for my agreement

with.

With my spouse.

When he asks me my opinion, sometimes he listens to it and takes

it.

Sometimes he listens to it and picks the thing that I really don't

want him to do.

But baby, you better believe that after we pray about whatever

that thing is, we walk out of there.

In one mind.

I honor him by not going to my girlfriend and saying, you know,

Mike wants to do this, but girl, I'm just letting you know,

if it goes bad, I don't want to do it.

Domino revival didn't want to do it.

Why?

I'm low energy.

You can laugh.

I just.

I.

It.

I'm like, it just looks really hard to do a movie and put it in

a thing.

And you know, and then what if people don't go to it?

And.

And I.

And you know what he said?

He said, julie, respectfully, we're doing it anyways.

Well, I was wrong.

And I'm so glad that I allowed him to lead that way because how

many thousands and thousands and thousands of suicides were canceled

as a result of his.

Yes.

And so I just wanted to show you both examples because even in

an even.

Even if you give your opinion on something and your spouse chooses

something else, you can still have an atmosphere of honor in your

home.

You can still have an atmosphere of reverence and you can

let that man lead.

If God spoke to him, what if he would have listened to me?

And I'm so glad.

You know what?

I tell that story without shame, because that was a great lesson

of trust in our marriage, trust in the Holy Spirit, trust in

God.

And so I don't know, you know, what would have happened if he wouldn't

have done it, but I'm sure glad that he did.

Another thing a man needs is encouragement.

Men often carry burdens silently.

Men do not know sometimes how to ask for help because they're responsible

for the safety.

I thought about this when one time we, you know, kind of went through

our own little safety things with being on the Internet and people

being boneheads, and I don't know if we're allowed to say bonehead,

but I just said it.

It's not bad, right?

It's fine, I guess.

Email me.

Better yet, email Pastor Danny.

He'll take all the complaints.

And, you know, there was an element of fear that our family had

to deal with and navigate, and we had to make some decisions about

that.

And one night I was afraid, and I had the thought, I wonder what

Mike does when he's afraid.

Because when I'm afraid and I have the intrusive thought that there's,

you know, somebody who's gonna come in and try to hurt us, my, you

know, superhero belief is that he's gonna punch them in the face

and we're all gonna be saved and everything's gonna be fine.

But what if he's home alone?

Or, like, what if he's scared?

Or what if he gets hurt?

And I understood.

I feel like the Holy Spirit spoke to me in that moment and said,

men get scared.

Men have fear.

Men have feelings and emotions that they're not able to properly

articulate.

And I'm not saying he was.

I'm just saying this was a journey that the Holy Spirit went

on with me, and the Lord took me on a journey of deeper empathy

for my husband.

And some of you just.

Your husband can never be scared.

Your husband can never cry.

Your husband can never be uncertain.

What if you created a space where he was able to share those

burdens with you?

Maybe not on you, but just a vulnerable place where he's able

to say, you know, you are my friend.

Do you know one of the man's greatest needs is for his wife to

be his friend?

Think about how much friendship you have at the marital

part of your dating.

I mean, me and Mike were bff.

We're still bff.

We took, like you know, a six year hiatus on that where we just

hated each other.

Oh, come on.

We've been married 20 years.

Police.

But I just.

It was a revelation that the Holy Spirit gave me that.

Julie, you need to encourage Mike more.

Even if he's not afraid, he needs more encouragement.

Another thing men need is room to lead.

Maybe the Holy Spirit is even speaking to you now.

Remember what I said a few minutes ago when the.

When the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, shut up.

It doesn't mean that I don't have an opinion.

It just means that every opinion doesn't necessarily need

to be aired out.

And I remember I'm just gonna be vulnerable sometimes.

You know, I would have an opinion just cause I was bored.

I would just nag on something because I was bored.

And what that did was that degraded his trust in hearing from

the Lord.

He had moments where like, did I hear from God?

I don't know.

And so I've had to go on this journey where I'm like, I want the

Holy Spirit to dwell in our marriage, not just in a service in

our home.

So what does giving room to lead look like?

It looks like repenting first.

It looks like setting the tone.

What is your tone?

When he walks in the door, it looks like choosing humility.

I don't know why you let him talk like that.

Shut up.

Respectfully.

It looks like choosing forgiveness.

It looks like choosing prayer.

What I realized is that men set the temperature of the home.

So wives, we have a lot on us.

And I'll be honest, there are times where it is harder for you

than it is for them in the area of responsibility.

Right?

Like let me tell you, my husband's getting ready to come home

from a trip.

He is not thinking about laundry.

I've been thinking about his laundry.

Laundry for three days.

He doesn't care.

He's not thinking.

Is.

Are there grocery.

He literally does not care.

He'll figure it out.

He'll buy new ones at Target.

Like he doesn't even.

He's not even thinking about it.

And so he sets the temperature of our home.

But I want to just paint this picture for you because sometimes

the air conditioner can be on, but if you put a space heater in

there, it's confusion for your AC system.

Sometimes we have to determine and contribute to the temperature

that our husband.

And I'm talking about a godly husband.

I'm not talking about a laban.

I'm talking about a godly husband.

Sometimes we have to get in partnership with our spouse to Say,

oh, you're trying to lead a godly family.

I'm going to come into agreement with you.

I'm not going to turn the heater on when you got the AC blowing

or vice versa.

I'm going to get into agreement with you.

And so one of the things that when my husband was trying to be

a godly man is, you know, he didn't, you know, we were working

through a lot of issues.

Bella was just a toddler, and I remember hearing his tell tires

pull on the.

We had a gravel driveway.

Indiana, Indiana activities.

Okay?

We had a gravel driveway.

And when his tires would pull up on the gravel for a couple of

years, I just.

My heart would sink because I knew he was going to come in angry,

he was going to come in frustrated.

And I decided that when he made a turn to serve the Lord, I

was going to be a partner and create an ungodly environment so

that he could fill the destiny that God has for him.

And so what we would do, whether he deserved it or not, is

when he walked through the door, we begin to chant.

And I don't know why it was this phrase, but this was our phrase.

Because Evie was, or Bella was just a toddler.

We would chant daddy D, Daddy D. I don't know, it was just something

she could say over and over.

And we would cheer every single day when he would walk in.

And it changed the whole temperature of.

Of our home.

We did it for years.

We still do it.

When don't we, Evie?

When Daddy comes home, we'll cheer.

Daddy D, Daddy.

You know, cuz now Evie's older and we told her the story, but somebody

has to be the redeemer.

So our sins, our iniquity, can be passed down, but our healing can

be inherited.

Jacob escaped Laban, but he brought some of Laban with him.

Wounds travel.

Oh, we're just gonna pick up and move south.

Guess what?

Your wounds are moving right with you.

We're gonna go to a different church.

Guess what?

Your wounds are gonna be there too.

Oh, we're gonna get a different job.

Guess what?

Your wounds are gonna be there.

I'm gonna get a different wife.

Guess what.

What?

Your wounds are going to be there.

I'm going to divorce my husband.

Guess what?

Your wounds are in the home already waiting for you.

Wounds travel faster than money.

And so you can leave a toxic environment, but still carry the

toxicity.

But there was a man who broke this cycle, and it was Joseph.

Joseph was Jacob's son.

You know, Joseph, the coat of many colors.

Joseph enters the story.

And Jacob's son, who he favored, another generational, you

know, another generational sin of favoritism in his family throws

his son.

He was left to die.

Joseph received rejection, betrayal, false accusation, almost

d death.

Yet Joseph becomes different.

He refuses to pass down what was given to him.

And instead of revenge, he gives forgiveness instead of bitterness,

he gives healing instead of wounds.

He gives blessing to the next generation.

Laban passed control.

Jacob passed wounds and favoritism.

But Joseph passed a blessing into the next generation.

Every father passes is something you have to determine.

Am I going to pass freedom into my home and wives?

We gotta partner and say I'm gonna contribute to an atmosphere

of freedom.

I want you guys to stand with me.

We're gonna go into the next few minutes and locations.

I want you to stay in with me.

And I know we're gonna go a couple minutes over, but I feel like

this is so important for the next few minutes, this scripture.

In Ephesians 6.

1, we're going to go into a few minutes of just repentance and

asking the Lord for forgiveness.

So we're not getting that iniquity into the next generation.

The Bible says in Ephesians 6.

One, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is

right.

If you have been disobedient, whether you are an adult child, whether

you are a elite generation whose parents are still alive, if

you are a teenager, the Bible says that we need to repent.

When we brought dishonor in our home, we need to pray right now.

If you need to repent, maybe it's, you know, nasty posts you made

about your parent on the Internet.

Maybe it's gossip that you've been doing with your siblings.

Maybe it's gossip that you've been doing with your family.

I don't care what they did did to you, you have to repent for your

part.

Do you understand?

Doesn't make whatever they did okay, but you have to repent for

your disobedience.

Maybe you've been a rebellious child.

Let's do it now.

Come on, just take a few minutes at every location.

Just start repenting.

Lord, I repent for my disobedience.

I repent of the sin against my mother and father.

And Lord, I ask for you to forgive me.

Come on, children, let's get free.

Lord, forgive me of my disobedience.

Forgive me of my dishonor.

Now to the women.

We're just going to stay in this posture of prayer and repentance.

I want to ask the women of this church if you have Been a wife

that has caused strife.

The Bible says that strife is like witchcraft.

If you've tried to bring strife over serving the Lord, if

you've tried to bring strife over their commitment into the house

of God, or maybe you've tried to bring strife over the past things

that you've already forgiven women.

We're going to repent.

Repent now.

Come on, just start praying.

Lord Jesus, right now.

We repent for any unnecessary strife that we brought into the home,

even if it was from resentment, even if it was from wounds

of infidelity.

Lord, we release them now in the name of Jesus.

God.

We are going to be a group of godly women at this church that pray

for the men of our church, that encourage the men of our church,

that stand with the men of our church church.

And many are carrying battles that we have never fully will understand

or see.

But God, we.

We commit to the power of prayer.

We will fight our battles in prayer and not against each other.

Women, do you commit to that?

And to the fathers, and this is really just to the men in general,

the boys, boys, teenagers.

If you've carried father wounds, if you've been a toxic father,

if you've been a manipulative spouse, if you've been a controlling

spouse, or maybe you've just been withdrawn, you haven't been

able to allow the Lord to heal you in the areas of emotions God

wants to heal you.

Come on, let's just repent now.

If that's you and there's just some repenting that you need to do,

we're going to take the next few minutes and do that.

Lord Jesus.

We repent of our anger.

We repent of our control.

We repent of our manipulation.

The last thing I want to pray is that there's a spirit of death

that is trying to attack the men of this generation.

And I didn't fully understand this, but I remember when Mike and

I were working in the early stages of our broken marriage.

I went into the pastor's office and I gave.

I mean, I was like all the things that Mike did wrong.

This, this, this, this, this.

I had a paper, I had it all written.

You know, love doesn't keep record of wrongs, girl.

I had a notebook, a whole notebook.

And I was reading off thing by thing by thing by thing by thing.

And he just let me go and let me talk and let me get it out.

And.

And then he said, you know what?

He said, I want you to look your husband in the eye.

And he said, he's guilty of all those things.

But he's got a hole the size of a train in his chest.

And I'm telling you, the compassion of the Lord didn't excuse

what happened.

But the passion, the compassion of God just begin to well

up inside of me and I begin to deal with unforgiveness.

Philippians 1:6.

Philippians 1:6

It says, Being confident of this, that he who began a good work

in you will carry it on to completion.

This is not just a Father's Day sermon.

This is a life and death message.

Nearly 80% of suicide deaths in America are men.

That wrecked me.

Men die by suicide approximately four times more than

women.

Women often report more suicidal ideations and attempts,

but men are more likely to die from them.

Now, I'm just speaking to the women of our church.

Married, unmarried, single, young, old.

The empathy of women in this church needs to increase.

For our men, it doesn't mean that we're responsible to heal wounds

we didn't make, but we can create environments where it becomes

easier to experience God, that when they come to us with repentance,

that our heart is open.

When they come to us in their weakness, we're giving encouragement

and not giving them any shame for how they feel when they're scared.

We're able to take their fear and lift it up to the Lord or call

on the men of our church to surround them with support.

Can I get an amen, ladies?

Sometimes women, you can be picking a scab and not realize there's

a fatal wound underneath.

That's why I said it's not about the dishes.

And I know this could go both ways, but guess what?

It is not Mother's Day.

It's Father's Day.

And maybe I'll say this to the men on Mother's Day, but my assignment

today is to encourage the men of this church.

And so by doing that, I have to disciple the women of this church.

And so I know this is a tough call, especially being in a liberal

region like some of our locations are.

But men suffer silently.

Many have not.

They don't understand how to express pain.

Many know how to provide, but they don't know how to be vulnerable.

Many carry burdens, but don't know how to share burdens.

And when the pain doesn't have a voice, it becomes anger in the

home.

And so what we're going to do right now is we're going to pray.

And if you have a man around you, he doesn't have to be a dad.

And don't be weird, ladies.

Single ladies, don't be weird.

And you don't even.

Not everybody likes to be touched.

But if you could just stretch your hand towards the man closest

to you.

Men, we're gonna pray for you for the next few minutes.

Is that okay?

Father, we pray for the men of this church.

We break agreement with hopelessness.

We break agreement with isolation.

We break agreement with shame.

We break agreement with every lie that says a man has to carry

every burden alone.

And in the name of Jesus, we break the power of and spirit of

death over the men of this church.

We declare life over fathers.

We declare life over husbands.

We declare life over sons.

We declare life over grandfathers.

God, we just pray that every wound be healed.

Restore every single place that has been broken.

And Lord, we call the men to rise up, up who are spirit filled,

humble, create, courageous and full of the power of the Holy Ghost.

May they be like Joseph, who brings a new generation of blessing

and promise.

In Jesus, mighty name we pray.

Amen.

Come on, I want you just to sing it out.

Come on.

Raise your hands.

Raise your hands.

We declare life.

Life, life, life.