Worshipping Inspries Our Everyday Lives

Well, I wanted to do something this morning

I've been thinking about doing for ages.

I've been thinking about getting my tongue pierced.

And I thought, I'm never going to have the confidence

to do that on my own.

So if I did it when I've got a few friends around me,

that's probably better.

So poke your tongue out at me.

Go like this.

You might want to look away if you're squeamish.

Keep your tongue poked up.

Relax, it's not real.

What is genuinely shocking is the real tongue.

Seriously.

It's a tiny part of the body,

but the impact it can have is shocking.

And that's why James wrote what he said.

He said, if you imagine like a ship,

think of the size of a ship

and how that can be turned,

the direction of that ship can be determined

by just a tiny rudder.

Or think of an enormous fire in a forest

that starts off with just the tiniest spark.

So it is that this seemingly small, insignificant,

most of the time we don't even see it,

part of the body in our mouths

can cause so much destruction,

but also it can change so many people's lives

for the better.

So we've got it.

And with it goes responsibility.

Now we're thinking about worship

in a series at the moment,

and we're thinking particularly then this morning

about, well, what might the connection be

between how we worship God,

and remember, we're not just talking about Sundays here,

we're talking about whole life worship,

the way in which we use our speech,

the way we talk in worship,

in prayer.

It's the link between that

and all the talking that we do the rest of the time.

Several years ago,

the writer Selwyn Hughes said this.

I was going to try and paraphrase it,

but I think he puts it so well,

I'm just going to read it to you.

He said this,

we become what we say.

Why is the tongue so important?

Because the expression of a thing

deepens the impression.

A word uttered

becomes a word made flesh in us.

We become the incarnation

of what we express.

Jesus said,

for by your words you will be acquitted,

and by your words you will be condemned.

After I saw that a person

becomes what he or she says,

I have looked at this verse

in a different light.

If you tell a lie,

you become a lie.

The deepest punishment of a lie

is to be the one who tells that lie.

That person has to live with someone

that they cannot trust.

Now look at what I'm saying

from the opposite perspective.

When we express good things,

positive things,

loving things,

biblical things,

these things go deeper into us.

clear expression

deepens impression.

There's a story of a brilliant young physicist

who tells how he often

would discuss complex issues

relating to physics

with his wife,

who was not a physicist

and who doesn't know the first thing

about the subject.

He said,

I describe in detail

to her what I am doing

and she doesn't understand

a word.

But sometimes

when I'm through,

I do.

If it is true

that we become

the incarnation

of what we express,

then how careful

we ought to be

to ensure

that what we say

is guarded

and governed

by truth,

integrity

and kindness.

Always remember,

every word you utter

becomes flesh

in you.

In all frankness,

how do you feel

inwardly

after you've said

something negative

about somebody?

Or maybe after

you've had an argument

with them?

If you get a bad

feeling inside,

I think that only

goes to

demonstrate

something of what

Selwyn Hughes

was saying there.

I'm going to think

firstly of the impact

of negative speech

and then

think of the impact

of positive speech.

And there's two things

that come to mind.

The positive

is kind of the

mirror image,

if you like,

of the negative

or the other way around,

whichever you want

to look at it.

But there's two

expressions of

negative speech

that I want to

suggest.

But they can be

damaging not only

to others

but also to

ourselves.

And these two

expressions of

negative speech

are firstly

gossip

and second

criticism.

Let's just think

about those.

Think firstly

about gossip.

Let's be really,

really honest about

this.

If we overhear

a conversation

in which gossip

is taking place,

who among us

doesn't really

honestly feel

attracted and

drawn in to

that conversation

at some level?

There's something

intriguing about it.

Somebody is

talking about

someone else.

We know that's

someone else and

we want to know

what's being said

about them.

There's just

something inside us

that finds that

really, really hard

not to be drawn

into the conversation.

And if it happens

to be negative

things about

that person

and particularly

if it's somebody

that has,

we've been on

the receiving end

of their negativity

before,

we kind of feel

this sense of

wanting to know

a little bit more,

a sense of

reassurance

that someone else

has noticed

that negative

thing about them

as well.

And perhaps

there's something

deep down in us

that when we

hear gossip,

one of the things

we find strangely

and weirdly

comforting about

it is that

it detracts us

for a moment

from the realities

of our own

broken characters.

We like to

think about

and focus in

on someone

else's weaknesses

because for

a few moments

at least,

our own weaknesses

of character

are off radar.

But the consequences

of talking about

others in that

kind of way

can be so

destructive,

not only for them,

not only for others,

but for ourselves.

There's a Jewish

story that is told

about a man

who was

always bad-mouthing

his rabbi

and he had

had a particular

episode where

he'd been

spreading really

quite malicious

gossip about

this man

behind his

back and

eventually came

to his senses.

He had this

bad feeling

welling up

inside and

he just felt

he had to do

something.

In the end

he decided to

go and see

the rabbi

and he told

him what he'd

done and he

confessed and

he said,

I've been

bad-mouthing you,

I've been

saying really

bad things

about you and

I know they're

not actually

completely true

and I'm

sorry.

The rabbi

said,

I forgive you.

He said,

yeah,

but I want to

learn from

this.

I don't

want to be

sent away,

teach me

something,

what can I

learn from

this?

The rabbi

said,

okay,

I want you

to do

this and

it's going

to sound

weird.

I want you

to go and

find a really

sharp knife

and I want

you to go

and get

two of the

plumpest

feather-filled

pillows that

you can find.

And then I

want you to

take the two

feather pillows

and the knife

into the town

square.

And then

when you

get there,

I want you

to slit

open those

pillows and

wave them

around as

hard as

you can.

The man

thinks this

is a little

bit weird,

but he

decides to

do what

the rabbi

has told

him.

So he

goes off,

he gets

these two

really plump

feather-filled

pillows and

a knife.

He goes into

the town

square,

there's loads

of people

around,

people start

to look

thinking,

what is

this bloke

doing?

As he

slices open

these pillows

and he flaps

them as hard

as he can,

there's feathers

everywhere.

He goes back

to the rabbi,

he tells him

that he's done

what he asked,

he said,

now what am I

to learn from

that?

The rabbi

looks at him,

he says,

I want you to

go back to

the square

now and I

want you to

retrieve every

last feather

and put them

back in the

pillows.

See,

that's what

happens with

words when

we start

to talk

loosely about

others.

It gets

out there,

whether we

mean it or

not,

it does,

it's how

it works.

I'm

rather like

trying to

go around

and pick up

feathers afterwards,

be sure it

will make

your own

life hard

work as

well.

It's not

good.

The other

form of

expression of

negative talking

that comes to

mind is

criticism.

I'm a great

believer in

that old

proverb that

before you

criticise

somebody else,

you should

walk a mile

in their

shoes.

Now,

there's two

reasons why

I believe that

is so powerfully

true.

You see,

if they get

to find out

that you've

been criticising

them,

firstly,

you've walked

a mile away

from them,

secondly,

you've got

their shoes.

Seriously,

criticism,

criticism can

be destructive,

but there's

something deep

within us that

thinks,

but is

there a

place for

positive

criticism?

perhaps there

is,

particularly

when we

read in

the Bible

in Leviticus

Leviticus 19 · chapter mention

chapter 19

in the Old

Testament where

it says,

you shall

rebuke your

neighbour and

not allow

sin upon

them.

In other

words,

perhaps we've

got a

responsibility to

point out

something in

somebody else

that's not

right.

It would be

wrong to

not point

that out,

so where

do we go

with that?

Number of

thoughts,

firstly,

we need

to remember

that in

Leviticus,

when we

read those

very verses

that I

have just

read to

you just

then,

those verses

are immediately

preceded with

warnings against

spreading slander

and warnings

against nursing

inner hatred.

That's really

important stuff

because we

can get the

wrong end of

the picture.

I want to

read to you

another quote,

it comes from

one of my

favourite books

in the last

few years

called

Sacred Cows

Make Great

Barbecues.

It challenges

some of what

we think is

popular wisdom

among Christians

and one of

them,

the bit I

want to read

to you now,

in this book

the author,

Dave Gilpin,

talks about

how in recent

years we've

had this idea

that we've

got to be

real,

we've got to

be real and

authentic with

each other,

which there's

a truth in

that,

but that

gets translated

to mean

the moment

you think

it,

you've got

to go and

say it.

He says

this,

when someone

comes up to

me and

says,

can I be

honest with

you,

I fear

the worst.

I figure

that I'm

about to

have a

truckload

of

disappointment,

discontentment

and general

disarray

tipped all

over my

lap.

It may

be honest

with how

the person

feels.

It's

often not

honest with

the real

state of

what their

new hearts

should be

in Christ

and the

transforming

and active

work of

the Holy

Spirit.

Being

sincere to

emotion is

okay.

Being sincere

to circumstances

is okay.

But it's not

the basis of

a powerful

life of an

overcomer who

draws strength

down from

heaven and

breaks through

to new

levels of

success and

victory.

That comes

from sincerity

to faith

and the

word of

God.

Emotional

sincerity

must be

tempered by

real truth.

There's a

time for a

healthy disclosure

of pent-up

emotion,

but it should

be kept in

the private

place of

either your

personal

devotion or,

on rare

occasions,

your inner

circle of

loved ones

who are

not offended

by your

general

rattiness.

Usually,

your emotions

never carry

with them

the whole

truth or

the right

truth,

and that's

why,

when flaunted

under the

guise of

sincerity,

they become

detrimental and

often destructive.

It only takes

a few seconds

of vindictive

honesty to

cut someone's

head off.

It takes a

lot longer,

however,

to sew it

back on

again,

and even

then,

it doesn't

quite swivel

the way it

used to.

Now,

let's just

come back to

this theme

of,

is there a

time when it

is right to

speak to

others?

Because there

it is.

Being a

Christian is not

about just

going through

life,

never saying

an uncritical

word about

anything or

anyone,

there's a

sense in

which,

of course,

we have a

responsibility to

one another.

If somebody you

truly love,

you're looking

out for them,

they're going

wrong,

there is a

responsibility to

point that

out.

So how can

we somehow

put a

brake on

that human

instinct to

talk negatively

in a way that

can do the

very best that

we can to

ensure that if

we're going to

be critical,

it's done in

a genuinely,

and I mean

that genuinely

loving way?

How can we

speak the

truth,

but speak it

in love?

Well,

there's no

easy,

straightforward

answer to

that question,

but I'll just

share with you

my own personal

thoughts on that,

which I try my

very best to

apply,

and I don't

always get this

right.

But the first

principle,

I think,

is to slam

brakes on.

So if you've

got it inside

you and you're

just bursting to

get those words

out, just try and

put the brake on.

And by that,

I don't mean just

a few seconds,

it may be a few

days.

Genuinely.

If you can,

take it away,

think about it,

and pray about it,

and as you do so,

ask the following

questions.

First, what's your

motivation for

bringing a word of

criticism, or what

could be construed as

criticism, to another

human being?

What is your

motivation?

Is your desire to

point out the

problem motivated by

a genuine, genuine

concern for them?

Secondly, ask the

question, how would

you feel if you

were to be on the

receiving end of

the words of

advice or counsel

that you are

thinking to share

with them?

If it was

reversed, how

would you feel?

And third, and

this is going to

sound like I'm

being facetious, but

it's a genuinely

serious question.

Ask yourself, am

I deep, deep

within me, am I

secretly getting

pleasure out of

this?

negative thinking,

negative talking

nurtures and

nurses negative

thinking within

us.

It's as simple

as that.

So when it

comes to the

call to be

worshipping

Christians, not

just as an

activity that we

engage with on a

Sunday, but

something that

should infiltrate

our entire

lives, what

might we say

then about the

more positive

dimension of

the way we

talk?

What might we

say about

positive speech?

Well, whereas

we've just been

thinking of the

danger of

gossip and the

danger of

criticism, let's

think now about

the power of

encouragement and

the power of

being thankful.

See,

encouragement,

bringing words of

encouragement to a

human being, may

not seem like a

big deal to us as

the person saying

it to the other,

but it can make

all the difference.

I had a story

about a minister.

He'd served quite a

few years in a

church and he was

moving on to a

new appointment.

The church was

having a send-off

due for him and

his family and

there was a bit of

a bun fight

afterwards and

they were serving

tea and a lady

came up to this

minister over a

cup of tea and

said, you know,

your successor,

the next minister

that's coming,

you know, I

know, I just

know he's never

going to be as

good as you.

Looking rather

embarrassed but also

slightly flattered,

the minister sort

of said, well,

you know.

But before he could

say anything, the

lady continued.

She said, I know he

won't be as good as

you because I've been

in this place now for

several decades.

I've seen seven

ministers come and

go and every one of

them has been worse

than the previous

one.

The power of

positive speech,

bringing encouragement

to somebody else,

actually not only

encourages them, it

encourages us.

When we speak

positively to somebody

else, it makes us

feel good.

If you say something

to somebody else that

is a positive word, I

can guarantee you

will come away from

it feeling better.

The other thing,

the last thing, is

thankfulness.

You see, thankfulness

and positive talking

and positive thinking

go hand in hand.

I'll share with you

what coincidentally

happens to be another

Jewish story, if I

like it.

it's a story that's

told about a woman

called Anna

Kebich.

And Anna Kebich was

known to be somebody

who was always, always

complaining.

And she used to use

the most rich imagery

to describe her

problems.

All day long she

would be talking about,

you know, I have so

little money, my

clothes are like

rags.

She would say, my

back is so stiff, it's

as stiff as the walls

of Jericho.

My house is so small

I can hardly move

around in it.

I have to walk so

far every day to

draw water that my

feet are swollen like

melons.

My children, they

never ever come and

see me.

Well, she was known

for this.

She would always,

always complain, never

say anything positive.

And one day she was

in the middle of

complaining to herself

and feeling sorry for

herself, saying, I've

so little money, my

clothes are like rags, my

back is as stiff as the

walls of Jericho.

My house is so small, I

cannot move around

inside.

I have to walk so far

that my feet swell up,

that my feet are like

watermelons, and my

children never come and

see me.

And on top of all that,

she noticed that her

nose was itching.

It was itching, and no

matter how hard she

scratched at her nose, it

would not stop itching.

So she went to her

rabbi.

She said, Rabbi,

rabbi, everything is

going wrong.

The rabbi looked at her

and said, I suppose you're

going to tell me all

about it.

She said, too right, I'm

going to tell you all

about it.

My back is as stiff as

the walls of Jericho.

My house is so small, I

cannot move around

inside it.

I have no money.

I live in rags for

clothes.

My children never come

and see me.

I have to walk so far

every day to draw water

that my feet are swollen

like melons.

And to top it all, I

woke up this morning

morning and my nose is

itching and it won't

stop.

Rabbi, what am I to

do?

The rabbi said, Anna

Kebich, you have what

is known as the Kebich

itch.

The complainer's itch.

And its meaning is this.

And I want you to think

about it every time you

scratch your nose.

However you consider

yourself, so you shall

be.

Well, she wasn't really

that satisfied with that

advice, but she knew it

was as good as it was

going to get, so off she

went.

She went to bed that

night.

The next day she woke

up and to her

astonishment, she noticed

that there had been

several changes overnight.

She had radically

increased in size, such

that her arms were poking

out of the windows of

her house and her legs

were jutting out through

the door.

She literally could not

move inside.

She was dressed in rags,

not clothes.

Her back, she turned

around, seemed to be

rather solid.

She noticed it had

turned into the walls of

Jericho.

She looked down to the

end of her legs and she

saw two melons rather

than feet.

And her nose was itchy.

She scratched away at that

nose and as she did so,

she remembered the words

of her rabbi.

However you consider

yourself, so you shall

be.

As she scratched away,

she thought about her

life and she thought

about the lives of

several other people that

she knew for the first

time.

She thought to herself,

you know, okay, I don't

have a lot of money but I

get by.

I know a lot of people who

have a lot less than me.

She thought, you know, my

house is small.

But actually it's quite

cozy.

I don't know I'd manage

anything that much bigger.

She thought to herself, you

know, my back is stiff at

times but I'm a lot

healthier than a lot of

people are at my age in

life.

She thought about that walk

that she took every day to

draw water and she said,

sometimes I feel tired but I

guess there are things about

that walk that I enjoy and

if I didn't take that walk

each day, I'd never see the

sunshine, I'd probably stay

indoors feeling even more

sorry for myself.

And as for my children, well,

I wish I did see them more

but I suppose there's something

inside of me that at least

makes me thankful that they

are independent enough to take

care of themselves.

And she thought of these

things and as she scratched

away at her nose, so things

began to change again.

She came back to normal

sides.

The rags went and were

replaced with clothes.

The wool turned into a

back.

The melons were gone.

Howsoever you consider

yourself, so you shall be.

Whenever the rabbis tell that

story, they always finish by

saying this, may your noses

itch forever.

speaker 2

JACOB

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