Breaking Promises

Psalmist wrote, create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

It's a kind of sad habit of mine that I quite like watching stuff on Netflix and Amazon Prime

and get involved with these long things that have various seasons.

And one of the ones that attracted my attention, partly because it had Hugh Laurie in it,

who I think is one of our best British actors.

It's called House.

And it's the story of this brilliant diagnostic doctor, brilliant at diagnostic medicine.

He can find out what's wrong with people.

Speaking personally, that's what I want from a doctor.

You know, I don't want to make it up.

He's excellent.

But, unfortunately, he is addicted to prescription painkillers.

He is a very cantankerous human being, very difficult, very difficult to get on with,

can't maintain a team, can't do any of that stuff.

And one of his strap lines is, he repeats it all the time, he teaches it to all his,

I don't know what they call him in America, but what we would call registrars.

He says this, remember, everyone lies.

Everyone lies.

And before you dismiss that as kind of the addicted comments of a somewhat cynical doctor,

let's just think about that for a moment.

In psychology today, I read that champion liars, that's a research category apparently,

champion liars tell about seven lies per day.

That is one every, well, kind of three hours, I guess, of waking.

No, it's more than that, isn't it?

I need to read maths today.

We read that most people in marriages tell lies to each other.

We might judge them as harmless lies, like, you know, my wife says to me,

are you listening to me?

Yes.

Or somebody might say, does my bum look big in this?

And well, betide the person who says, yes, it does.

The weight of psychological evidence tells us something really scary.

And that is, people who lie in small things tend to tell lies in big things as well.

We also know that extroverts incline to lie more,

and people who are obsessed with what psychologists call personality management tell lies

simply to bolster their image.

I was in somebody's home the other day, and they were talking about their little girl.

I don't know where the mother comes from, but she's, you know, sounds very Thames Valley.

And she said that her daughter had gone to school and told the teachers that her mother was Brazilian.

It's kind of completely random lie.

She never been to Brazil.

She's not Brazilian.

It just kind of, you know, provokes and says, oh, your mom's from Brazil.

Well, she's not.

By the way of introduction, I also want to remind you that quite a lot of the way

that our society works is built on trust.

Go and see your doctor.

You have to trust what the doctor says to you.

You step on an airplane.

You hope that the guy who's going to fly you to wherever you're going,

you're hoping it's not his first day at work.

Or as Brexit reminds us, if we can't trust our politicians,

then we end up divided and mistrusting.

Or, of course, closer to home.

Relationships rely on trust.

Business relationships rely on trust.

And what I want to say to you about promises is that one thing all promises have in common

is that they rely on a level of trust and they rely on a level of commitment.

The heart of our society, which hopefully is broadly civilized, is a government.

They pass regulation and laws and society works where that bond of trust between government and people

is that the people seek to commit to keep the law.

At least that's the idea.

Mostly, even though we try and keep the law,

we probably would admit at points we're not too good at it.

30 mile an hour limits.

Somewhat challenging for many of us.

20 mile an hour limits.

Impossible.

Modern cars aren't geared to drive at that speed.

Psalm 51 introduces to a psalm written by King David.

A man greatly revered in Jewish history.

But to understand this psalm, you have to look back in the Bible

as to why David was going through such a terrible time at this moment in his life.

And if you turn to 2 Samuel, you don't have to do that,

but you have to trust me for a moment to tell you what it's about.

And I'm going to paraphrase this story, A, to make it shorter,

and B, to get to the point.

David, one night, is having a quiet evening

and he steps out on the roof of his condominium.

And he looks across the street.

And across the street, there is an open window and the lights on.

I don't think they did curtains in those days.

And he sees this beautiful woman, whose name is Bathsheba,

step into the light, remove her clothes, and start to wash.

And unlike the man of Christ's church, Clevedon,

who would look away immediately,

he stared.

And lust was kindled in his heart.

And he wanted that woman with a driving passion

that meant that he became out of control.

And so he committed adultery with her.

She was married to a man called Uriah.

And then, even worse,

David arranged that Uriah would be taken to the front of the battlefield

and isolated so that he would inevitably be killed.

And he was killed.

And I don't know how David dealt with his conscience.

I don't know how you deal with your conscience.

But David seemed to be doing okay

until, unfortunately, God sent this man called Nathan,

who was a prophet.

And Nathan got a really smart tactic here.

He starts to tell this story.

He says there was a wealthy man,

had a load of sheep and camels and very wealthy.

And then there was this poor man who had a little lamb.

And he said the poor man had brought this lamb up

as if it were his own daughter.

He'd hand-fed it, hand-raared it and everything.

Came to a feast day.

And the rich man, instead of taking one of his own sheep,

one of his many sheep,

took the lamb off the poor man

and killed it.

And he and his friends ate it.

And David's pumped up with indignation.

He's like, I could get my hands on that guy.

And Nathan says,

you were the man.

And part of what I am to David,

after that shocking revelation,

is that he wrote Psalm 51.

Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your unfailing love,

according to your great compassion,

blot out my transgressions.

David was told by God in 2 Samuel

that there would be consequences

as a result of his behavior.

One of the lessons we learn from Psalm 51 is this.

That privilege brings responsibility.

Indeed, it's pretty easy to argue from Scripture

that one of the central messages

of the Old Testament prophets

was that privilege implies responsibility.

In old covenant terms,

it would go like this.

You are one of God's chosen people.

Therefore, you have to keep the law.

That was the kind of theological

slash psychological contract

that God had with his people.

The one thing that is certain in that contract

is God is faithful.

That's been the thread that has run through

this whole teaching series.

We might be a bit iffy,

but God is faithful.

Even David, in the depths of his guilt,

seems to say it still hold on to that.

Lord, have mercy on me,

according to your unfailing love.

This is not a fair-weather friend called God.

This is a God who loves us

because essentially God is love.

He can't not love you.

In 1 Thessalonians chapter 4,

1 Thessalonians 4 · chapter mention

we read Paul writing this.

He says to the Christians that,

this is how we instructed you to live

in order to please God.

In New Testament terms,

the way that psychological,

theological contract works is

that in return for being the adopted children of God,

God places on us a responsibility

to live in a different way.

A way that will bring us the blessing

that God wants for us.

But the problem is,

we let God down.

As Dr. House would say,

everybody lies.

You know that thing in the Bible,

I think it's one of the most punishing

little phrases in the Bible.

It's just before Jesus tells the story

of the Good Samaritan.

You remember this lawyer comes to Jesus

and says to him,

what must I do to inherit eternal life?

Jesus quotes to him the Shema.

You must love the Lord your God

with all your heart,

with all your mind,

with all your soul,

and with all your strength.

And the lawyer,

it says,

and these are the words, right?

I want you to hear these words

and ask yourself this question,

how much do these words fit you?

It said the lawyer,

it said,

he wishing to justify himself.

Let me ask you a question.

When you do,

don't shout out the answer.

When you do something wrong,

is your first response

to want to justify what you've done?

I have heard people

defend preposterous things.

I've talked to murderers in prison

who justify what they did to their wives

or to some innocent guy in the street.

He was looking at me funny,

so I killed him.

Some would say that's a little touchy.

But bring it closer to home.

You're having words

with the person you claim to love the most.

And you say something

you should never have said.

What's your first response?

I'm going to justify myself here.

I'm going to justify myself.

What 1 Thessalonians chapter 4 teaches us is,

1 Thessalonians 4 · chapter mention

firstly,

if we're going to live

in order to please God,

then we need to be instructed in that.

It doesn't come naturally to us.

The life that God wants you to have

is so difficult for us

because he asks you to live in a way

that's not necessarily natural to you.

That's why the whole discipleship thing

is such a struggle.

Our commitment,

our promise,

is to live as he would have us live.

It asks things of us

that would not fit in

with the way we naturally behave.

In 1 Corinthians chapter 6,

1 Corinthians 6 · chapter mention

I mean, this is really close to home,

forgive me,

but it says,

do you not know

that your bodies are temples

of the Holy Spirit

who is in you,

whom you have received from God.

You are not your own.

You were bought at a price.

What we read about

in our newspapers every day

is that we're not that good

at temple maintenance.

Many of us don't exercise.

Many of us eat too much.

Many of us abuse alcohol.

Many of us,

the list goes on.

We forget,

do we not,

that we were bought

at a price.

And that price

is the shed blood

of Jesus Christ

on the cross of Calvary.

You sit light

to the

psychological promise

you made

if you're a follower of Christ

to live as He wants you to live.

You sacrifice two things.

One blessing.

And two,

you sacrifice

your own well-being

because you start

to feel guilty.

How many of us

how many of us

when we're in

the kind of

temptation zone

think to ourselves,

you know what,

I need to be careful here

because I've been bought

at a price.

We're more likely

to say to someone,

wow, you know what,

nobody will find out.

It doesn't matter.

And she does.

Second thing we learn

from Psalm 51

is that all of us

are temptable.

That part of our human nature

is frail.

I don't need to lecture you

about that.

I've got a classroom

full of experts.

Whatever the temptation

might be,

be it pornography,

alcohol,

food,

jealousy,

chocolate,

whatever,

there is always something

that catches us out.

And the devil

knows exactly

where your weak spot is.

weakness.

And he will maneuver

any which way he can

to exploit that weakness.

And the worst thing

that you can do

is to start to think

that when it comes

to temptation,

you are somehow

bulletproof.

The way of Christian

discipleship

is littered

with the corpses

of men and women.

Men and women

who thought

they could handle it.

And I remember

once

a man came to me

when I was a vicar

and he said to me,

fairly young Christian,

he said,

I need to talk to you,

Mike.

I said,

okay.

He said,

I'm a commuter,

I go train

on the work every day.

I sit next to the same

woman every day.

He said,

most unusually

for commuters,

we kind of got talking

a little bit and

we've had a couple

of lunches together.

And I'm starting

to feel

some unworthy

feelings about her.

What would your

advice be?

My advice

was simple.

Change trains.

See,

you need to know

what your

vulnerable area

is when it comes

to temptation

and you need

to keep away

from it.

David

had certainly

discovered

that one

of his weaknesses,

actually I think

generally you would

say of David,

he had relationship

issues.

But one of his

issues was

sexual lust

that could be

kindled in his

heart.

And a lot of men

are like that.

We need to be

aware of our

weak area.

You know,

if you've been

struggling with

alcohol,

probably better

stay away from

off licenses

and pubs,

right?

If your

weakness is

you could

easily fall

in love with

another man

or another

woman,

don't put

yourself in

that situation.

Immediately

withdraw.

The third

thing we

learned from

this story

is that

many of us

fail.

I read

in a book

once that

85% of

New Year's

resolutions

have gone

by the

board by

the middle

of February.

85%.

I read

that a

third of

the people,

which was

4.2 million

people this

year,

who decided

they would

go for dry

January,

a third of

them gave

up before

the end

of January.

We fail.

I go,

come clean

about this.

You know,

I have a

streak in

my nature,

which is a

bit,

you know,

I have to

resist it.

You know,

it says,

do not step

on the grass,

right?

There's a bit

of me that

has to step

on the grass,

right?

When I was

at university,

it said,

you know,

the lawns

are for the

use of the

dons altogether.

I used to

go on the,

you know,

people come

to me and

say,

you were

done.

I didn't

say yes.

I think

we're all

a bit like

that.

You know,

we're not

all of us,

but many

of us kind

of,

you know,

have this

little bit

of the

devil in

us or

something that

just can't

resist.

But here's

the thing

about those

things we

get wrong.

We break

a promise.

We seek

God's

forgiveness.

And how

many of us

are like

this,

right?

you have

done

something

wrong

that you've

been doing

wrong for

quite a long

time.

So you

think,

you know

what,

I'm going

to sort

this out

now.

So you

go and

you get

on your

knees or

whatever you

do and

you say

you're really

sorry to

God and

you're

like,

wow,

dealt

with.

And you

do it

again and

you do it

again and

you get into

this repeat

cycle of

breaking a

promise,

asking God's

forgiveness,

breaking a

promise and

asking God's

forgiveness.

And you

say,

oh,

that's great.

You know,

grace will

cover the

base.

In a way

you're right,

but in a way

you're wrong.

Because if

you keep

behaving like

this,

it will

poison your

soul.

You know,

Paul had to

deal with a

situation in

Rome where

the Christian

church there

clearly got the

word about

grace,

God's love

shown to us

even though we

don't merit that

love.

They got that

message,

so they're

thinking,

we can do

what we like

now.

But Paul had

to say to

them,

you know,

shall we sin

the more that

grace may abound?

Romans chapter

Romans 6 · chapter mention

6 in verse

1.

He said,

no,

that's not the

way it works.

I mean,

we can trust

grace,

but we can't

keep behaving

badly,

going back to

going,

it will hurt

your soul,

believe me.

We learn also

that God is a

faithful God.

The whole

assumption of

this psalm in

David's mind

is that though

he has been

unbelievably

unfaithful in

his shenanigans

with

Bathsheba,

is that

God is

faithful.

Indeed,

the whole

of the

Bible

reinforces

this idea.

And this,

you know,

I want to

speak to

one or two

of you

here today

in particular.

And that's

those of you

who've been

brought up

to believe

that God

is faithful,

but actually

something's

gone wrong

in your life

and you

feel that

God has

badly

let you

down.

You know,

I don't

know if

this is

you,

but again,

all the

research I've

read about

people in

the twilight

years of

their life,

people like

me,

is that

many of

them get

to old

age with

a deep

and uneradicable

sense of

guilt,

sense of

regret.

And if

you're that

person,

you can

stop being

that person

today,

because God

is faithful.

But many

of us know

that in our

heads,

but then

there's

something called

my life,

my dead

husband,

my child,

my hopeless

marriage,

my secret

addiction.

The list

goes on,

and I'm

actually left

wondering

whether God

is trustable,

because

something's

gone wrong.

Well,

you know

this,

you know,

it's an easy

thing to

trot out,

it's not

what happens,

but it's

how you

deal with

it in

life.

God

asks us

to trust

even

though we

don't feel

like it.

And also,

scripture

tells us

that what

we can't

understand

now,

there will

one day

be a

day

when we

can

understand

it.

But the

deal breaker

is we

need to

trust,

even when

there seems

to be

no good

reason for

trusting.

In a way,

that's what

faith is.

God is

indeed

faithful.

Life's

adversity

and our

suffering

can either

make us

stronger

or make

us

bitter.

And when

you give

most people

that choice,

they don't

want to live

a life of

unrelenting

bitterness.

Let's come

again to

the God

who is

faithful.

Asking

God's

forgiveness

is important

for two

reasons.

I've heard

people say

this to

me,

if God

knows

everything,

why do

I have to

confess my

sin to

him?

There's a

kind of

logic about

that,

isn't

there?

Here's the

thing,

there are

two reasons

why you

need to

confess your

sin.

One,

it signals

to God

that you're

serious about

your wrongdoing

and two,

it opens

the door for

you to seek

his help

in overcoming

the wrongdoing.

If we claim

to be without

sin,

we deceive

ourselves and

the truth is

not in us.

But if we

confess our

sins,

God is

faithful and

just to

forgive us

our sins

and cleanse

us from

all unrighteousness.

you hear the

significance of

that.

God doesn't

want to just

forgive you,

he wants to

cleanse you

of the

temptation

that's

tripping you

up.

And my

final point is

this,

help is

available.

And it's

called the

Holy Spirit.

John says

when he comes

he will prove

the world to

be in the

wrong about

sin and

righteousness

and judgment.

It says the

Holy Spirit

will convict

us.

But it says

that the

Holy Spirit

will give us

the inner

strength to

deal with

temptation

when it

comes our

way.

I prayed

at the

beginning of

this message

that God

would send

down his

fire.

And you

need to

know that

when it

comes to

breaking

promises,

you're

probably

guilty.

And the

bottom line

is you

can seek

God's

forgiveness,

but don't

just seek

his forgiveness.

Seek his

cleansing.

Is there

anybody in

the house

who would

love to be

cleansed by

the Holy

Spirit?

Would love

to push to

one side a

habit that's

been tripping

them up for

a very long

time?

Is there

anybody in

the house

who needs

to know

maybe for

the first

time in

their heart,

they get it

in their

head,

but in

their heart,

that the

spilled blood

of Jesus

Christ on

the cross

of Calvary

will cover

everything you

have ever

done.

And you

can access

God's

forgiveness.

See,

if the

answer to

those questions

is no,

then your

life will

be robbed

of hope

and robbed

of confidence.

You know,

the Bible

makes the

assumption

that,

you know,

the word

we translate

into priest

in English

is a word

that really

means elder.

And one of

the assumptions

of the New

Testament

was,

the people

who lead

the church

will be

older

because

they have

wisdom.

That's why

when Paul

wrote to

Timothy,

Timothy was

clearly an

exception

because he

was a

young

church

leader.

Let me

tell you

this.

Some of

the most

childish

people I

know are

elderly.

some of

the most

bitter

people I

know

are

elderly.

And

friends,

you know,

I'm not going

to say you're

in the waiting

room for

heaven,

but I am

going to say

you need to

start to

deal with

this stuff

now.

I used

to feel

when I

was in

church

ministry

that the

elderly

people got

a bit

ignored

only because

they were

faithful in

their

attendance,

they were

there every

week.

So most

clergy made

the assumption

they're

all right.

They're

really not.

Like the

rest of us,

they need

heart help.

They need

the empowerment

of the Holy

Spirit as we

all do.

That we may

know the

forgiveness of

God in our

hearts.

Broken

promises will

become less

and less a

part of our

lives.

And we

shall have

sweet fellowship

with God

in the

light.

And that

will have

consequences

in our

lives that

are positive.

Just as

breaking

promises

has consequences

in our

life.

Because it

will hurt

your soul.

And I

have to tell

you that

because your

soul matters

to me.

God's

love

and I

want you

to feel

the freedom

of the

grace and

the forgiveness

and the

power of God

in your

life.