They don't Always Listen

you may be read in your newspapers this week that

Meghan Markle's former friend and agent advised her before she got married

don't marry Harry

the reason for it was according to Meghan's friend was

you marry him your life will be wrecked by the British media

I think we already see some early signs of that

and clearly Meghan like Rehoboam chose to ignore the advice

and went ahead and married Harry and life looks a little tough for them right now

but I want you just to think about this this morning

and that is how well do you handle advice

I'm pretty sure that most of you could think of a moment in your life

when somebody you know

somebody you might even love

somebody you trust offers you a word of advice

but you go with Frank Sinatra and do it your way

I want to talk to you this morning about listening

and it's very difficult to kind of teach people how to listen

but I'm going to embark on what might be an unwise exercise

because this session today

they don't listen

is built around a course which is about wisdom

and growing older

so I'm assuming that the idea of being wise

is today at least

wise people listen to the right kind of advice

to godly advice

and I think that's a problem for us immediately

because I sense that in our culture

we're only likely to take advice that we feel comfortable with

advice that kind of generally agrees with the direction of travel

that we want to take

I wonder how many parents of teenage children have had that

debate where you advise your child

you should go to university first

and get the security of a degree behind you

only to discover that your kid would much rather go to Thailand for three months

or how many of you have had

something that's a kind of minor concern medically

and somebody you love says

you know what you should go and get that check medically

but you know better

and then suddenly

you are really ill

I want to talk to you about three things this morning

the first is

I want to talk to you

about

listening to God

I want to talk to you about listening

for godly advice

and I want to talk to you about

once you've listened to God

and once you've sought godly advice

I want to give you a word of advice

and that is go do it

so when I say

is that alright

I recognise you have no choice at all

so first of all

let's just think for a moment

about listening to God

the background to our reading

is Rehoboam

who was the son of Solomon

who of course

within Judaism today

and Judaism then

was regarded

as the wisest person

who ever inhabited the planet

one of the commentators

on this passage

makes this comment

Solomon was very young

when he became king of Israel

but he was very wise

from the get go

Rehoboam took it on

at age 40

and was without wisdom

whatsoever

and the example

that we have here is

it's interesting

that some of you again

have seen on your television screens

the dreadful

rioting in Iraq

where the people are saying

this government is dysfunctional

it's too hard

we're paying too many taxes

there are no jobs

we've got no earnings

it's horrible

so they're out on the streets

demonstrating

and unfortunately

the government is repressive

and thinks

that if people complain

about their lot

they should be shot

well in Rehoboam's time

it was a bit like that

Solomon

had governed

the

united kingdom

of Israel

it was subsequently

breaking apart

and Rehoboam

became the king of Judah

and Rehoboam

did what most wise kings

would do

to start with

he went to the elders

of the tribe

and he said to them

listen

there's problems here

and the people

are very dissatisfied

and the advice

of the elders was

lighten their yoke

make life easier for them

Rehoboam

really didn't want to hear

that advice

it probably would have

affected the treasury

and would have affected

his lifestyle

so he goes to

his mates

the young people

the kind of equivalent

of the entitled

of that time

and says to them

what do you say

I should do

they say

you go and tell them

your yoke

is going to get

heavier and heavier

and the rest of the story

is

what follows from that

you see

put your hand up

if you think

Rehoboam

was wise

to take the advice

of the youngsters

you're

brighter than you look

of course

it was a foolish thing

that he did

and so

I want to talk to you

about

listening to God

first and foremost

simply because

one of the most

chilling verses

in the New Testament

you'll find in Matthew 7

where Jesus says

not everyone who calls me

Lord

Lord will enter

the kingdom of heaven

but only those

who do the will

of my father

see there's a problem

immediately

isn't there

and that is

how do I

separate out

God's will

for my life

from my will

for my life

how is it

that I might be able

to find my

true north

in life

find out

exactly what it is

that God wants me

to do with my life

or do I just

follow my own

urges

and instincts

well I want to

suggest to you

before I talk

about the five ways

that you can

listen to God

I want to say

this

that in the Bible

Bible Sunday

of course I'd give it

a mention

in the Bible

there are

basically

two kinds

of advice

and one kind

of advice

predominates

and it's this

what God wants

all his people

to know

so in the Bible

saying

don't be a fornicator

don't be a liar

don't use

you know

don't behave

like a moron

I'm obviously

praising

it's not like

some of us

can be morons

and some of us

can't

or some of us

can be fornicated

and said

no that's advice

for all God's people

for our well-being

the God who created you

knows what's best

for you

and the Bible

reveals to us

in part

what is best

for us

the Bible also

I think

can guide us

individually

you may have

examples

I'm not suggesting

that

you know

the best way

to seek God's advice

is to kind of

just flick through

the pages

open at random

and then read a verse

read about a man

who did that

and it said

Judas went

and hanged himself

so he thought

I'll give us

another shot

he did exactly

the same thing

it said

go thou

and do likewise

but the Bible

if you read it

regularly

you will be

surprised

how often

it speaks

straight into

your situation

the other day

I really

lost perspective

over an issue

in my life

I was so

stressed out

by what was

happening to me

and so

kind of

out of control

of what was

happening to me

I'm like

I don't get this

I'm depressed

you know

maybe I should

go and see a doctor

whatever

and then I read

my daily reading

online

and it reminded me

that whatever

I'm feeling

God is still

suffering

and whatever

happens to me

God has my

best interest

at heart

and I was able

just in that

simple

reading of

scripture

to recover

some perspective

so

five ways

that you can

discern the

will of God

the first is

the Bible

I've talked

about that

but I want

to encourage you

and this fits

well with

Bible Sunday

which incidentally

I didn't even

know it was

Bible Sunday

when I walked

in here

Bible Sunday

used to be

the second

Sunday in

Advent

according to

us old

codgers

remember that

famous

collect

read

mark

learn

and

inwardly

digest

that's the

collect for

the second

Sunday in

Advent

not the

Sunday

in the middle

of nowhere

that's not my

point

my point is

that if you

read the

scriptures

read the

scriptures

regularly

you will find

that when

you're facing

an issue

in life

very often

your reading

for the day

will speak

straight into

that situation

is that magic

no it's not

it's because

our God

wants to

communicate

with you

and one of

the primary

ways that God

communicates

with us

is through

his word

the second

thing is

and this is

obvious

God guides

us through

prayer

through earnestly

seeking

his will

of course

he does

and there's a

problem with

that in our

culture that

we tend to

move at

too high

speed to

ever sit

down and

pray and

listen to

God

we seem to

think that

fast moving

microwaved

existence is a

good way to

live

but actually

if you live

like that

in the end

it very likely

will make you

ill

Isaiah the

prophet said

race around

and know

that I am

God

actually he

never said

that

he said

be still

be still

and know

that I am

God

and unless

we can build

some stillness

into our

lives unless

we can turn

off the

microwave that

drives us

we will find

it harder to

hear God

the third

thing is

and this is

tricky

the third

way that God

guides us is

through Christian

friends

a burden

shed is a

burden

halved is a

well-known

proverb that

actually comes

from Galatians

Galatians 6 · chapter mention

chapter 6

where the

great apostle

writes these

words he

says share

your burdens

with one

another and

so fulfill

the law of

Christ

you've got an

issue go talk

to somebody

but we've all

got Christian

friends I

have many

friends like

this they're

friends but

they're also

keen to

please me

so when I

ask for

advice they

will always

tell me what

they think I

want to hear

you know what

I mean when I

say people

pleasers

they're people

pleasers and

actually I don't

need that kind

of advice I

don't need people

just to agree

with me although

my wife thinks

I do

I need people

who will

challenge you

I used to

constantly say

to my senior

management team

when I was

in Bristol

just because I

think something

doesn't mean

it's right

but show me

I'm wrong

so you need

a very

particular kind

of Christian

friend

and it's the

kind of friend

who loves you

enough to

tell you the

truth

and they

don't grow

on trees

in my

opinion

and we

can be a

little frustrated

by them

because they

don't tell us

what we want

to hear

and I will

say this I

remember I

mentioned it

once I won't

tell you it's

in entirety but

when Jackie

Pullinger told

her mum and

dad before

she went to

university

God's told

me to get

on a boat

they thought

the parents

thought the

best way to

bring this

to an end

is to get

her to go

and see the

local vicar

he's bound

to Scotch

it

so they

sent him to

see old

Colin Ford

in West

Croydon

Colin Ford

is a great

guy

he's all a

bit cool

blimey

and so

she goes

in to see

him and

she says

God's told

me to get

on a boat

well sweetheart

he said

if God's told

you to get

on a boat

you better

blooming

well get

on one

parents left

the church

stopped their

tithe

see

sometimes

God's word

to us

is not

what we

want to

hear

in fact

I would

encourage you

when somebody

speaks to you

it's somebody

you trust

and somebody

who loves you

enough to tell

you the truth

speaks to you

in a way

that you don't

want to hear

I would

double check

treble check

whether or not

this is the

right thing

rather than

reject it

straight away

because it's

not what I

want to hear

I think

Rehoboam's a

pretty good

example of

what I'm

talking about

do you

the elders

say to him

lighten the

yoke of these

poor people

you're killing

them

so he goes

to the

youngsters

the ones

whose lifestyle

probably will

be undermined

if they

lighten the

yoke and

lower the

taxation

etc etc

and he

says you

know that

terrible

thing

I'm not

going to

go down

Russ's

line and

explain to

you the

particular part

of the

anatomy

the Hebrew

refers to

but let's

just say

it's rude

what he

says

English

Bibles

say

his finger

is thicker

than

you know

Solomon's

waist

work it

out

look

we need

people

who will

give us

wise advice

and if

we're going

to grow

older and

grow wiser

then we

need to

really be

in touch

with these

people

and some

of you

inhabit this

congregation

some of you

are wise

people and

I hope that

those people

have been

you know if

you've been a

Christian for a

while and

you have a

residue

wisdom in

your life

you are a

resource

you know you

need to

encourage

those of us

who are

struggling with

decisions

those of us

who are

younger

incidentally

I've said

this to you

before but

don't forget

growing older

in itself

doesn't make

you wiser

okay

some of the

most childish

people I

know are

my age

just the

act of

growing older

doesn't make

you grow

wiser

you can

become more

foolish

like you

know you

can go and

cash in your

pension or

something to

go and buy

a Range Rover

whatever

the fourth

way is

what I call

closed doors

and open

doors

in Acts

Acts 16 · chapter mention

chapter 16

and I'm not

quite sure what

St. Paul meant

here but he

refers to a

situation where

he says we

wanted to go to

Bithynia but

the Holy Spirit

wouldn't allow

us

I call that a

closed door

and in my

life I've

tried to

let me say

I have got

guidance wrong

you know I'm

not speaking to

you as some

kind of expert

I've got it

wrong

I think

on reflection

I should never

have said yes

to becoming a

bishop

right I

think I may

have been

seduced

by the very

thought that

somebody who

is such a

regenerate sinner

as I was

should take up

that role

I loved being

an archdeacon

I know

weird

but I never

thought I was

the right

material to

be a bishop

I didn't

take enough

advice

I didn't

take enough

counsel

but I'd

always worked

on the basis

if the door

opens walk

through it

if it shuts

God will

open another

door for you

I think that's

a good way

to think

it stops you

getting depressed

when something

doesn't work

out in your

life

I think it's

a viable

way

you know

if there's

an opportunity

push on the

door

see what

happens

and maybe

you will

find your

true north

if you walk

through that

door

if it shuts

God will

open another

door of

opportunity

for you

and the

fifth thing

is what I

call close

encounters

of a weird

kind

that is

and a wise

preacher

once told

me that

God uses

weird stuff

to guide

you when

you've been

deaf to the

other four

areas

so what's

weird stuff

it could be

God speaks

to you clearly

in a dream

you know the

fact that

Gentiles in

the early

church were

included in

the church

came off the

back of a

dream that

Peter had

where he had

this weird

vision of

every kind

of animal

in a sheet

I mean

you know

obviously

he needs

a therapist

but

Peter was

convicted

God had

said to

him

this new

gospel is

not just

for Jewish

people

it's for

Gentiles

it's for

people like

you

someone say

amen

oh right

so let

me recap

for a moment

five ways

the Bible

one

two

praying

three

Christian

friends

who love

us enough

to tell

us the

truth

four

closed

doors

open

doors

five

weird

stuff

and then

somebody

told me

that if

you're the

pilot of a

ship in the

Mediterranean

and you

want to get

into the

harbour at

Naples

if you're the

pilot what you

have to do

is you have

to line up

five lights

in front of

you

fix your

position and

you can sail

straight ahead

into the

harbour

and nobody's

ever said to

me so line up

all five

aspects of

this verse

but what they

did say was

don't just

go on one

line up more

than one of

those five

in order to

proceed

and hopefully

discover

God's will

and you can

still make

mistakes

I've

just

admitted to

one

it's not

the only

one

you know

I could

keep you

here till

lunchtime

it's not

the easiest

assignment

knowing what

God's will

is for you

but

and to

close

what I

want to

say is

on this

front is

that

when you

do make

a mistake

I think

God can

kind of

re

you know

accommodate

that

and you

can get

beyond it

I'll come

back to

that

the second

thing is

and I've

talked enough

about it

so I'm

not going

to talk

to you

too much

more

but

we listen

to God

we listen

to the

wise advice

of godly

friends

choose some

friends who

love you

enough to

tell you

the truth

and look

for the

man

woman of

God

and consult

with them

see when

I got the

offer of

becoming an

archdeacon

out of

the blue

I didn't

even know

what the

job was

to be

honest

so I

went to

see a

man I

know to

be godly

and who

would speak

the truth

lovingly to

me

I went

to see him

in London

he was the

archdeacon of

London at

the time

I went to

see him

I said I

got this

letter out

of the blue

first thing

that happened

is he had

a horrific

nosebleed all

over my

job description

I'm like is

this from

you Lord

what does

that mean

the second

thing is this

is what he

said

he said I

feel constrained

to say to

you Mike

unless you

can think of a

great reason

for not doing

this you

better go and

do it

that was it

I thought he's

right

I tried to

think of a

great reason

and I

couldn't

and do you

know what I

felt I made

far more of a

difference in that

role than I

ever did as a

mission

so you can

still get it

wrong

but if you're a

healthy Christian

your earnest

desire will be

to do what

God wants for

you in your

life

and of course

if you have

discerned what

God wants

then you

better go

and do it

there can't

be anything

more messing

up in your

spiritual life

that when you

discern something

and you decide

to just not

go ahead with

it

men came to

see me

who was

retiring

as a man

who said

an amazing

life at the

centre of

kind of

civic society

in Bristol

and he

came to me

and he

said

oh you

know what

I said

what

he said

I've worked

for 40

years of

my life

he said

the people

who you

know I

talked to

tell me I've

made a

difference

he said

I have

never ever

felt fulfilled

because when

I was 25

I felt God

call me to

ordination

and I

turned my

back on

that

he said

people say

to me

you would

have never

had as much

influence as

that as

a vicar

it would

probably be

my experience

actually

but

it's

interesting

he sat

there saying

that

I sat

there saying

you know

what

I said

yes to

being ordained

and I

wonder whether

I ever

should have

like you're

wondering

now

God

God kind

of weaves

you know

your mistakes

into a pattern

so let me

just tell you

the most

wonderful story

to close

of a thing

that went

horrendously

wrong

and God

did an

amazing thing

through it

so the

vicar of

Loudwater

in

Buckinghamshire

decided

under God

that he

and his

church

would

circulate

the Jesus

video

to the

4,000

households

in the

parish

they raised

the money

to buy

them

they got

the people

to volunteer

to go and

stick them

through letter

boxes

in the

parish

24 hours

after the

first deliveries

there was a

phone call

in the

vicarage

the vicar

picked up

the phone

he said

yes

he said

is that

the vicar

he said

yes

the vicar

he said

you know

that video

he said

I don't

think it's

about

Jesus

he said

what do

you mean

he said

well

I've got

a Jesus

video

in a

Jesus

packet

he said

but it's

a movie

called

when Harry

met Sally

and I don't

know how

this happened

but it got

kind of

circulating

and a

local

paper

the

bucks

free

press

ran

this

thing

was like

vicar

circulates

porn

to every

house

in the

parish

how

about

this

the

very

fact

that

that

was

in

the

paper

men

everybody

watched

it

and only

one of

the

DVDs

they

circulated

was

Harry

met

Sally

the

rest

were

the

Jesus

videos

and I

spoke

at the

opening

night

of the

alpha

group

in the

church

there

were

360

people

at it

remember

what God

said in

Romans 8

and verse

28

all things

work together

for good

to them

that love

God

see

I'm telling

you

how you

might listen

to God

how you

might listen

to your

Christian

friends

how you

might get

wise advice

that may

make you

a little

wiser

but I'm

saying to you

for crying

out loud

don't go

through

your life

with a

lily

livid

spirit

terrified

that you

might make

a mistake

because when

you do

make a

mistake

if you

make it

honestly

God

will weave

it back

into the

pattern

of your

life

I was

once

in

Turkey

and

we

were

on

a

tour

it

was

like

the

six

churches

seven

churches

in the

book

of

Revelation

and we

were

visiting

every

site

in

Turkey

here's

my

advice

never

do

that

I

mean

it's

a bit

disappointing

to find

out

that the

church

in

Smyrna

is now

a

multi

storey

car park

that's

not my

point

my

point

was

like

often

happens

on

these

tours

it's

prearranged

that you

will be

taken

to

various

places

that

produce

knick

knacks

and

local

kind

of

stuff

so

we

went

to

a

carpet

place

and

there's

all

these

ladies

hand

doing

these

carpets

and

somebody

said

so what

happens

when you

make a

mistake

because

they're

doing it

from the

back

of the

carpet

so they

can't

see

the

front

they

said

oh

well

when we

look

at it

we

just

redo

it

and

where

we

redo

it

the

carpet

stronger

where

there

was

a

mistake

and

well

you know

I'll

take

that

because

I've

made

mistakes

and

you've

made

mistakes

and

we'll

probably

continue

to make

mistakes

but

please

God

never

let

our

mistakes

be

that

we

refuse

to

listen

to

God

that

we

refuse

to

take

godly

advice

or

we

did

both

and

then

stayed

home

let's

pray

let's

pray

let's

pray

let's

pray