Why Didn’t God Answer?

As we progress our journey through this series on prayer, and we think today about that question

when it feels like God doesn't answer prayer, I want to talk about something that has the

power to make us feel so deeply uncomfortable. And it's this. Silence.

Silence. Now sometimes silence is something that we associate with tranquility, peace and quiet.

There are times when we crave for that. But that's not the type of silence that we're thinking about

when we think about the kind of prayer and that sense of anguish that we may get over the sense

that God doesn't seem to be listening. I'm talking about the kind of silence that perhaps

we might associate with times of waiting. Think of situations in our lives when that happens.

Maybe you've gone for a job interview. And those closing words are something like, oh, thank you,

we'll be in touch. And then you wait. And you wait. And you wait.

Maybe you've got something going on medically and you have some tests. And then there's that time

between having gone for the examination and the waiting for the results. And you don't know when

that's going to be. And you're waiting for that phone call or that letter.

Maybe there's that silence when there's been some situation of conflict or potential conflict

with somebody else. And you send that message and you're trying to sort of put things right with them.

Maybe you sent them a message or something. You're just waiting for them to get back to you

because you don't know what the outcome's going to be. And it feels that that kind of relationship

situation that feels oh so fragile is just kind of there on hold. And you're waiting.

Those are just a few examples. And I'm sure we could think of plenty of others.

Where silence, the silence of waiting is agonising.

Seconds can seem like minutes. Minutes can seem like hours and hours can seem like days.

That's the kind of silence, the kind of waiting that this psalm is about.

The kind of silence that we can experience in our prayer life.

Where we ask God for something. We reach out to God for something.

We want to hope

in a particular outcome in prayer.

And yet no matter how hard

and how sincerely we pray

it feels like it's met with silence.

It's as though God is on mute.

Let's remember that these words of these psalms,

my God, my God, why have you forsaken me,

are the words that we hear according to Matthew and Mark's gospel,

Jesus on the cross.

And that itself tells us something so, so powerful.

That central to our faith

as followers of Jesus

is that Jesus himself

and his finest hour

and his darkest hour

cried out those same words.

When you and I cry out that same sense,

God, where are you?

And it feels that he's just silent,

that he's not engaging with our prayers.

We actually find ourselves in solidarity

with Jesus himself on the cross.

You're not alone

because Jesus himself cries out

that prayer.

Why God?

My God,

why have you forsaken me?

And because

we are not alone

in that sense of agony,

but know that Jesus is with us

in it,

then we can know

that the same God of resurrection hope

is with us

and always will be.

So what might we say then

about that experience

of silence?

And I'm assuming

that every single person in this room

and every single person

listening to this online

will have experienced

that at some point

in their lives

and probably

to some extent

right now.

That sense

where you ask God

and yet

this feels

that the prayer

is met

with silence.

What might we say?

Let me be really clear

about this.

Anything I'm about to say

is not intended

as an oversimplification.

And I'm very suspicious

of any pat answers

to deep searching questions.

So that is not

what is being offered

right now.

But I share this with you

as a thought

that I've found very helpful

and continue to find helpful.

And it's this.

That silence

makes us feel uncomfortable.

It may make us feel uncomfortable

in all sorts

of everyday situations.

But it particularly

can make us feel uncomfortable

when it comes to our prayer.

But maybe,

maybe,

just maybe,

there are those times

when silence

can actually function

creatively

and purposefully.

And what I'm talking about here

is silence

as a form

of communication.

communication.

Because

without silence

we actually

can't communicate.

Unless there are

pauses

between words

and between sentences

nothing will ever

make sense.

We need silence

in everyday

communications

in order

to understand

one another.

Years ago

when I was a student

and I have no idea

how this happened

and it hasn't happened

before or since

but I was working

on a dissertation

and

something

happened

with my computer

and I lost

every single piece

of punctuation.

We're talking about

10,000 words.

No full stops

no commas

no colons

nothing.

one

long

meaningless

sentence.

Now there was

more than one

of my tutors

that would say

that that sums up

the style of my writing

anyway

but on this occasion

there were basically

everything was removed.

I got it back

again I don't know how

but all the

punctuation

had gone

it was missing.

You take the pauses

out

nothing makes sense.

Remember a few years ago

I actually saw a road sign

that had been hand painted

and a really vital

exclamation mark

was missing

so the punctuation

had gone

and it just had the words

on the sign

and the sign

was meant to say

slow

men at work.

You take

the punctuation

out

you take the silence

out

and you lose

the power

to communicate.

That's true

in language

it's true

in physical

things

art or architecture

for example.

Think how any

piece of

architecture

is giving

its sense

of beauty

its sense

of form

its sense

of structure

not just

through what is

there

but through

what isn't

there

through the

spaces

the gaps.

it's true

in music

unless you have

the pauses

the silences

the rests

well

you lose it all.

Handel's Messiah

the hallelujah

chorus

and

there's that

that pause

that gap

that silence

before that thunderous

hallelujah

you lose

the silence

you lose

the thunder.

Let's never

underestimate

the power

of silence

as a form

of communication.

Maybe

just maybe

when our

prayers

are met

with what

we perceive

as silence

actually that

silence is

something

that God

is using

through which

to speak.

now the

sceptic will

be listening

to this

and think

oh yeah

but that's

what you're

talking about

there is

just the

God of

the gaps

I mean

the silence

of your

God

effectively

just represents

the emptiness

of heaven.

The reason

why God

is silent

is because

God's just

not there.

Now at

face value

that's a

very very

sensible

response

but it

misses an

important

point.

And the

point is

that there

is all

the world

of difference

between

live silence

and dead

silence.

Let me

explain what

I mean.

Imagine you

walk into

a restaurant

and you

look around

the room

and there's

a number

of couples

sat around

tables.

In one

corner over

here you

see one

couple and

they're silent.

Over here you

see another

couple and

they're equally

silent.

And yet there's

two very

different things

going on and

it's apparent

just by looking

at them.

The couple

over here

are silent

because they've

just not got

anything to say

to each other.

They're bored.

They've run

out of words.

That's dead

silence.

Meanwhile

over here in

this other

corner there's

a couple

that are

gazing into

each other's

eyes and

you can tell

without the

need for

any words

whatsoever

that they're

so deeply

in love.

They're not

speaking

because they

don't need

to speak.

That silence

is more

powerful than

any amount

of words.

silence.

So how

might we

interpret

then the

live silence

that might

be the

reality when

we are

seeking to

engage God

in prayer

and we

cry out

my God

my God

why have

you forsaken

me as the

words of that

psalm put it

and as

indeed as

Jesus puts

it on the

cross.

How might

we interpret

our experiences

of apparent

silence

in our

prayers?

Again

this isn't

intended as

formula

but I find

it helpful.

Bill Hybels

many years ago

suggested

that there

may be three

things

and they all

happen to

rhyme.

The first

thing

is that God

might say

no.

And that's

when the

silence just

means no

because the

thing that we

are praying

for is wrong.

It's not

good.

It's not

in our

interests.

It's not

healthy.

Dear God

please give me

that Ferrari.

I could do

your work so

much quicker.

Sometimes if

the prayer is

wrong, if

it's selfish,

if it's wrongly

motivated, if

it's not in our

interest or in

the interest of

others, then

the answer is

simply no.

But sometimes

the answer isn't

no, it's just

slow.

In other words,

the timing is

wrong.

The thing that

God is going

to give, that

we are praying

for, will

happen in the

course of time.

But it's just

that right now,

it's not that

time.

Now sometimes

we can look back

on our lives and

we can see the

way in which that

silence eventually

has been broken.

Where God has

answered prayers

that previously

we thought he

wasn't.

And sometimes

we can look back

and it makes

sense and it

understands.

I realise I

was asking God

to do that in

my life back

then and it

didn't happen

and I'm so glad

now on reflection

that it didn't

happen then because

the timing was

wrong.

Yet it happened

this later stage

in my life and

that was when it

was right and I

can see it, I

get it.

There are other

experiences in our

lives where actually

God doesn't answer

straight away but he

does much later and

it just doesn't make

sense to us at all

why we had to

wait.

And that's why we

call Christian faith

faith because there

are things that we

just don't understand

and won't understand

this side of

eternity.

Sometimes God

just says slow.

I will answer your

prayer, it's just

not yet.

So sometimes the

request is wrong and

God says no.

Sometimes the timing

is wrong and he

just says slow.

But there are other

times perhaps when

there's something wrong

with our own lives

that we've got to put

right first.

In which case God

says you've got to

grow.

It may be that

there's something,

we are praying for

God to do something

in our lives all the

while that we are

aware that there is

some certain

situation that we

are refusing to

listen to that we

won't put right.

Something where if we

dig deep down inside

we know it's not

right, it is wrong,

it is profoundly

wrong.

Maybe it's a

relationship that we

haven't tried to put

right.

Maybe it's something in

our lifestyle that

actually we know that

that is not right,

that that is not

pleasing to God.

And yet we still

keep on doing it.

if that's us,

let us not be

surprised if our

prayer life seems to

be met with silence.

Sometimes it is a

simple thing but a

real thing that we

just need to make

certain changes in

our own lives.

And God says,

silence, you've got

to grow.

Sometimes then God

says no when the

request is wrong.

Sometimes if the

timing is wrong, he

says slow.

Sometimes if there's

something wrong with

ourselves, with our

own hearts that we

need to put right, then

God says you've got to

grow.

But if all of those

things are in place,

then God says go.

The important thing

with all of this

though,

is not to stop.

Because these things

are a mystery.

And sometimes that

silence can meet us

in a way that, you

know, we just can't

make sense of it.

Or at the time it

just doesn't make

sense.

And the important

thing there is not

to give up praying.

But to keep on

putting Jesus front

and centre.

Even when it doesn't

make sense.

One last story and

then we're going to

pray.

Illustration.

And it's to do with

a particular type of

plant called a

Chinese bamboo plant.

There's a particular

variety of Chinese

bamboo which grows in

a very unusual way.

You take the seed of

this plant and you

put it in the soil and

you water it and you

fertilise it for about

a year.

And nothing happens.

You do this for

another year, more

fertiliser, more water,

and you wait for a

second year and

nothing.

Year three, more

water, more fertiliser,

more waiting,

nothing.

Year four, water,

fertiliser, waiting,

nothing.

In the fifth year of

watering, fertilising,

and waiting, a little

shoot will poke up

through the surface and

then grow anything up

to 90 feet in six

weeks.

Here's a question.

How long does it take

for that thing to

grow?

Six weeks?

Or five years?

Let's pray.

Lord, you know what it

can be like to face

that agony of silence.

You've shown us that

you know what that is

like through the cross.

Lord, right now in our

own experience, there

may be all sorts of

different reasons why

we feel that sense of

silence and it can be

painful.

It can be agonising.

Lord, right now in the

midst of that silence,

help us to put you

front and centre and to

keep on keeping on and

not to give up.

Lord, grant us the

ability to hear that

silence, to interpret

that silence, to

discern the meaning of

that silence.

Search our hearts, help

us to understand the

nature of the things that

we are praying for.

Lord, in the midst of our

waiting, whatever that may

mean, whatever that looks

like right now.

Fill us and go on

filling us with the

power of your spirit.

Be at the centre and may

we not give up in our

prayers.

Help us to trust in you.

Now as we continue to

worship and in the time to

come.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.