Community

I'll confess to you, today, this week, I asked the question, and I asked it to Siri, and

! I said, Siri, when does Lent end this year? And then, Siri is a troll. Siri misheard me and

thought I said, when does Lent end next year? And Siri told me Lent ends on April 2nd. And

I asked on April 3rd. I was like, what? Let's go. I was like, wait, that doesn't make sense.

And then I looked, it was 2026. For those of us who are still fasting, we're nearly there.

I think we have a week and a half to go, is what it is. If you didn't fast through this

whole time, then actually, it's still not too late. You could still do it now. I was talking

to someone, I won't name them today, but who did something else and was kind of like dwindling,

because 40 days is a long time. And afterwards, I was like, you know what? Just change it up.

Like, that's the whole point is, can we get close to God from this? Not just to kind of

hold on to something, uh, just, just through the pain. So anyway, that's what we've been

going through for Lent. We're nearly at the end. Next week is our final one on the spiritual

disciplines. And we're going to be talking about confession, uh, as we lead up to Good

Friday. But we have one here that's just a, um, that we're going to try and cover a lot

with. So maybe just a quick recap, a rewind of our minds. What are the spiritual disciplines

we've done so far? What have we got? Who remembers the ones that we've done?

Scripture. There we go. Pastor's wife. Remember what her husband put to about.

Scripture. Shout out to Reverend Gabe. Uh, what are the other ones? Scripture is one of them.

Silence, solitude. That was last week. Lamenting was another one. Worship was one. And are we

missing any? And of course, fasting. Uh, so all these ones that we've talked about, you

can actually do on your own. You can do on your own and they are really inward focusing.

They're really focusing you towards God. Uh, I know that, uh, Francis has taken up cycling

more recently and I was, I was, I was driving behind a group of cyclists. Um, the, the, the

cyclists, cyclists. I just made up a new word, cyclists. Uh, and I was like, oh, this is a

very introverted sport. You kind of just, you're on your own and you're just kind of spending that

time on your, but actually somehow people still like to do it together. Or sometimes you see

people who are riding motorbikes who can go and cruise on their own, but they also like to do

together. Runners are the same. You can do it on your own, but you also like to do it together.

And the ones that we've done so far, scripture and lamenting and worship, uh, and of course,

prayer, you can do those on your own and you can do them together. I'm going to bunch a whole

group of other spiritual disciplines together this week and you'll be just forgive me if it's

going to be a little bit over ambitious, but it's going to be the spiritual discipline of

peopling. I've just made up a new word there again, peopling, because there are some things

that you can do on your own and together, but there are some things that you must do with

other people. If we're to be disciplined disciples, we also need to learn how to people. We also need

to learn how to interact with people, love people, serve people. And there is a, if we're looking at

different lists of spiritual disciplines, one of them that keeps coming up is community and

fellowship and the need to be together. And we need to be together. John Woodberg was the one who

said, we generally sin alone, but we heal together. We generally sin alone, but we heal together.

There's something about when we are together that is so important in our healing process,

in our redemptive process. Dallas Willard was the one who said, actually, Christian redemption wasn't

made, designed for solitary living. It is something that you have to do together. I was talking to

Wes about this last week, as I mentioned before. Where is Wes? I can't see Wes.

Hiding. Wes. I was talking to him. He hates it when I embarrass him. I was talking to him because he's

my physios who've been, you know, physioing, rehabbing my Achilles. And one thing I said to

him was actually, I can probably do these things on my own now, but there's something about me going,

you know what, if I was going to do it on my own, you know what will really happen? I just won't do

it. So I have to call Wes. I go, Wes, I need an appointment. And then I spend that time and I enjoy

that time, even though it's painful because it's someone there with me doing it. And he was reflecting

with me and going, actually, you know, reading the Bible is hard. Memorizing scripture is hard.

And then I said, he said, well, but I want to be able to do it by myself. And I said, yes,

that's so true. Just like my physio is hard and I can do it by myself, but there's something

that's just so special when we are willing to help each other, when we get together to do it.

And after the sermon on scripture, Paul was the one who took the initiative to start this

scripture club, which is this WhatsApp group that we've all, well, a few of us have joined

in actually helping us memorize scripture. And why, why do we have a WhatsApp group?

Because it's better to do it with other people. So shout out to Paul for helping us take initiative.

And he actually sends us reminders throughout the week to, hey, get on it. Because memorizing is hard.

But when you do it together, when there's incentive, when there's accountability,

then it's just much, much better. During COVID, there was, I took part in an activity that I would

never usually take part in. And that was the activity of camping. Who likes camping here?

Okay. Well, some people, we have, we have a husband who likes it and a wife who doesn't.

That's the same as our marriage too. Praying for you as well. But anyway, during COVID,

there was nothing else to do. And of course, everyone was like, so I was like, okay, fine,

we'll go camping. And of course, part of the camping is that you have to stay warm. And part

of the same warm is you've got to go and grab all these branches. And, and there was one spiritually

edifying moment for me as I was stood there just watching the fire burn. I was like, these fires

will only burn when all these branches have piled on top of each other. If you had one branch that was

lit, it will light for a little while, but it won't last forever. Maybe you have been in that place

where you actually lived and had a heart for Jesus and been on fire for him, but you were just lit on

your own. And inevitably, you'll know at that point, at some point it will burn out. But when you heap

them all together, when you pile them all together, when you keep adding, that's when the fire will

continue to burn. It reminds me of the quote that I just quoted from Dallas Willard. It says this,

the fire of God kindles higher as the brands are heaped together and each is warmed by the other's

flame. The members of the body must be in contact if they are to sustain and be sustained by each other.

Christian redemption is not devised to be a solitary thing. I think about another movie that was

transformative for my life was High School Musical. Wow, the judging face for grace was just there.

The church that we were part of, we actually reenacted it, and there is somewhere in the deep ethers of the

internet a video of me dancing to the song, but I'm just going to leave it there. Of course, more recently,

The Lion King Mufasa has a song called We Go Together, which quotes the African proverb,

if you want to go somewhere fast, you go alone, but if you want to go somewhere far, you go together.

Hebrews 10 talks about this. He says, hey, this life is a long journey. Don't stop meeting each other.

You have to encourage one another. You can't do it on your own. If we're to be disciplined disciples,

we need people. We need to learn how to people, because when we know how to people, then we will

actually be some good in the world. I finally got around to watching the film with Christina,

The Two Popes. It was just interesting dialogue, just having these two popes talking about just

their different emphases on life and on ministry. One of the quotes that really hit me was this.

One of the outgoing one, Joseph Ratzinger, he said, I was so scared of life, I hid myself in books and

theology and doctrine, only to find myself empty and void of the world that the church is supposed to

help. My prayer is that as we become disciplined disciples, we don't just focus on the things where

we fill our minds with the things of God, but that they would actually drop into our hearts and that

it would actually spur us on to living. And it is a discipline to people. It is a discipline to love

people. It is a discipline to interact with people because people are hard. People are idiots. People

are sheep, as we've just discussed these last few weeks. So I want to kind of fly around a little bit

in scripture. Now, I know that sometimes I like to stay in one place, but today we're going to,

as I sum up all these different themes, we're actually going to jump around a little bit. So

bear with us. Don't worry. Those of us who really like just verse by verse after Easter, we're going

to go through the book of Acts and it's just going to be one plume, just plain sailing going through

there. But today I'm going to jump around a little bit to really hammer home the point of, wait,

what did the Psalms say about us peopling? And what did Jesus show us when it comes to peopling?

So we're actually going to read from a different passage and I'm going to invite, I'm going to call you

birthday boy, because in some ways the baptism was a birthday. So I'm going to invite Uday up to

actually read the scripture for us. And I'm not going through this passage of scripture, but it's

a passage that Christina and I were actually talking about yesterday and she was just struck by the

tone of it and what it really is. And it's the title of that passage is the marks of a true Christian.

And it really just got me thinking about what we were talking about today. So I'm going to invite

Uday to read that passage from Romans 12 for us. So can I invite you to stand for the word of the Lord?

God, we stand because we are filled with reverence and awe and gratitude that you would speak to us,

that you would reach out to us, you would pursue us, and that we would have an avenue,

a channel to be able to know you, to learn more about you. And as we continue to ask the question,

what does it mean to be a disciple? What does it mean to be a disciplined disciple? What does it mean

to be a true Christian? We hang on every word that you say and we pray that you would speak.

So Lord, we listen to your word now from Romans 12.

So we're reading from Romans 12,

Romans 12:9

verse 9, and this is the ESV translation, if you're following along.

Marks of the true Christian.

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good.

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Do not be slothful in zeal. Be fervent in spirit. Serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope.

Be patient in tribulation. Be constant in prayer.

Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse them.

Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep.

Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.

Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil,

but give thought to what is honorable in the sight of all.

If possible, so far as it depends on you,

live peaceably with all.

Beloved, never avenge yourself, but leave it to the wrath of God,

for it is written,

Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.

To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed them.

If he is thirsty, give him something to drink,

for by doing so, you will heap burning coals on his head.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

This is the word of the Lord.

Thank you, Ude. Please take a seat.

That passage in Romans 12,

I would describe it as like the JD of a Christian.

If you want to know what it means to be a Christian,

if you just read Romans 12, verse 9 to 21,

Romans 12:9–21

it'll tell you what a mark of a true Christian look like.

If you're a follower of Christ, this is what it should look like.

This is what you should be doing.

You should have a genuine love.

You should abhor what is evil.

That means you hate what is evil.

You should love one another with brotherly affection.

Outdo one another.

Be patient.

Be constant in prayer.

Contribute to the needs of the saints.

And seek to show hospitality.

If you just keep going down that list, it's like, wow,

if I am going to be a follower of Christ,

it must impact the way I interact with people.

That's it.

If I love God, if I say I love God,

it must translate down and trickle down to how I love people.

We can't get away from it.

Being a Christian isn't just about,

I'm going to get my Jesus on,

and I'm going to sit on the top of a mountain.

I'm just going to read scripture.

I'm going to memorize it.

I'm going to pray.

I'm just going to just stay there on my own.

That is part of it, no doubt.

But that can't be all of it.

If you want to love God, you must love people.

And I'll tell you, and you will all know this,

loving people is hard.

That's why if you look at the New Testament,

what does Jesus keep talking about?

He's saying, love one another.

Love one another.

Go out of your way for one another.

What does Paul keep saying?

Bear with one another.

Be patient.

Why?

Because when a group of people like this get into a room together

and spend time together

and start finding each other annoying

and start finding the selfishness that exists in each of our hearts,

it gets hard.

And the first thing you want to do is either fight or just flight

and just withdraw.

You're like, you know what?

People are annoying.

The only people that we can't run away from are our families,

the ones who live with us.

And so we're stuck with them.

But we somehow get to choose this,

so we instead choose to withdraw.

So here I am to tell you that actually there is a huge discipline in peopling.

It requires you to go out of your way to actually be in a community.

Genesis 1 talks about it.

We were created from community.

It was when the Trinity, the Godhead said,

let us make man in our image.

Let us, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,

let us make man in our image,

let us let them basically oversee, have dominion over the world.

We were built from community for community.

Jesus' last words, just before he leaves,

after spending the 33 years on earth,

and what does he pray in John 17?

He says, can they just be as one?

Can they just not bite each other's heads off?

Can they not argue about theology?

Can they not argue about how to worship,

what songs to sing?

Can they just not argue about what they think a Christian,

looks like a Christian, a true mark of a Christian,

one who follows Christ, is one who loves God,

but who also loves people.

How well do we people?

He prays for it, Jesus did in John 17,

but then when he actually recruits and does the work,

what does he do?

He recruits 12 bandits to help him.

Imagine Jesus, he could have come in and said,

okay, well, I'm going to save the world.

I've got a few objectives that I need to hit.

I need to upset the Roman Empire, the whole empire.

I need to do this.

I need to do this.

I need to basically shake up the mindset of the Pharisees.

I could do this all on my own.

And yet he decides, actually, you know what?

I'm going to pick 12 people to live with for three years.

And I want to walk with them.

I want to spend time with them.

And even then, once I go, I'm going to say,

hey, you guys go two by two.

You can't do it alone.

You must do it together.

There is something about doing it together

that is so, so important.

We talked maybe at the beginning of the church,

of course, if you've come to this church

and you read our mission statements,

you'll know that we're trying our best to people.

We don't succeed.

Honestly, often we actually fall short.

But we're trying our best.

When we first started, we kept asking each other the question,

who are your three?

Who are your three?

Who's your Paul?

Who's your Barnabas?

Who's your Timothy?

Who's your Paul?

Who's your mentor?

Who's pouring into you?

Who's your Barnabas?

Who's your friend who's just encouraging you?

And who's your Timothy?

Who are you pouring into?

The idea is to constantly remind ourselves,

hey, you can't do this alone.

You shouldn't do this alone.

It's not a solitary thing.

You should find someone to do this with.

And now you might not have a clear Paul

and a clear Barnabas and a clear Timothy,

but hopefully you have people that play different roles

that you can call your people.

So when you have something that's going on,

when you're struggling to fast,

when you're struggling with this temptation,

you have someone who you can call and go,

hey, I'm really struggling.

This is a really bad week.

Now, often it's been said,

and I think I do agree to a certain extent,

if you go to a really big church,

you can basically go for a whole year

and no one knows that you went.

You can also not go for a whole year

and no one realizes that you haven't been around.

But I'm here to tell you something even more scary.

I think you could do that here too.

Don't trick yourself into coming to the gathering

and then make yourself believe that you have gathered

when actually no one has really truly known you.

It's important to ask that question.

Okay, how can I actually know and be known?

Why do I need to do this on a Sunday

when actually as an introvert,

all I want to do is just rest and chill

and be on my own?

It's because I recognize that there is a need for people.

More importantly,

if my life is to become more like Christ,

the only way I can become more like Christ

is if I learn the discipline of peopling.

That's the only way.

The only way we can become more like Christ,

to be sanctified,

to be looking like Him

is when we have people around us

to mold us and shape us.

Spiritual formation requires,

it is essential to have people around us to do it.

Who are your people?

For those of us who have been Christians for longer,

I think the question is,

who are your people and who are you Paul to?

Who are you pouring into?

2 Timothy 2.2,

Paul says this,

hey, what I've taught you, Timothy,

can you teach to someone else?

Who will teach to someone else?

And I heard a pastor say this recently,

which is every Christian,

every believer should be asking and praying God,

how can I have my people?

How can I go four deep with my people?

How can I be Paul to a Timothy

who will be then someone else to someone else?

How can we be four deep with these people?

How can we have people around us?

It requires discipline

because after a long day of work,

all you want to do is go home and rest.

Those of you who are in life groups

will know the joy of being in community,

being with people.

But all of you,

I have no doubt will have wrestled with

on any given Thursday or Wednesday or Tuesday,

whenever you have your life group,

where you're like,

today's not the day.

I just want to go home.

Have we all,

can we just not,

if you've been in a life group

and you know that feeling, right?

I know I should,

but I'm really tired.

Work's just been really bad

and I just want to go.

At that moment,

when you decide to go,

what does that require?

That requires discipline.

That requires you to say,

okay,

I'm still going to go.

And more often than not,

you come out afterwards and go,

okay,

that was worth it.

That was necessary.

I needed that.

But to get there,

it requires discipline.

I know some people like Jackie

who work in China come back

just in time for life group

and they have to travel far.

Some of us don't even want

to cross the harbour.

It requires discipline

to get us to a place

where we can be with people.

And when you do,

there is beauty.

That's when the formation comes.

That's where the fruit comes.

And you know what?

One of my biggest joys,

when people ask me,

how's the gathering there?

I was like,

you know what?

I don't know.

It's really,

what are the KPIs of a church?

How do you measure disciples?

But one thing I do find

great encouragement in

is that people are connecting

with one another.

And of those of you

who are really connecting

in the life groups,

I think not a month goes by

I hear one group

going away on a retreat,

going on a ski trip,

going to wine tasting,

going to Taipei,

even though they wanted

to go to Bangkok

and they knew that Bangkok

was a bad idea,

going to Bali,

going to Saikong.

It's really fun

to see this happening.

I made you a side note here.

I realize actually

there's some things

that I really want

to give announcements for,

but because I'm at the pulpit,

I don't have much of a chance.

So I'm going to use

this chance today

to talk about this.

If you have been here

for a while

and you really want

to join a life group,

okay,

there are different ways

to do it.

One of the big easiest ways

is you just come straight up

to me after seven

and go,

hey,

I've been here for a while now.

I want to join a life group.

Can I join a life group?

Let me know you.

Let me see your face.

One thing that is interesting

as I have the honor

and privilege

of standing here

on any given Sunday

is I actually get to see

who's here.

And one thing I often

will tell you,

if you're here

for the first week

or the second week

or the third week,

I'm like,

hey,

it's really good

that you're here.

I really want you

to be part of a community.

But one thing that we do

is we just stay,

just stick around.

Hang out with us.

Let us see you more.

And once we see you more,

then actually it'll take time

because the last thing

we want is for anyone

to come for the second week

and we enter into a life group.

People don't know you.

You join the life group,

have one conversation

with one person

and then afterwards

you disappear and you leave.

Okay?

So what we're trying to do

is take that fine line

between having community

that's intimate,

that where people

are willing to be vulnerable

and who want to go on holiday

with each other,

but also being welcoming.

And I'll tell you,

that is a fine line.

And I also know,

so you can come up to me

and talk to me straight away,

but I also know

there are introverts

who are like,

this has already been

too overwhelming for me.

There is social anxiety here.

So I can't eat.

To have to walk all the way

to come and talk to you,

that is too much.

That's why we created

the QR code,

which is right behind Rebecca

right there.

If you're an introvert

and you're like,

I know I need to talk,

but I just physically can't

right now,

can you please scan the code

and actually tell us

that you want to talk?

And that is a way

that we're going to try

and do it.

Christina and I

are actually going to plan

to start our own life group.

So that's why

if you've been coming,

umming and ahhing

and you have been around

for a while,

please do let us know

because we do want

to include you

and we do want you

to be a part of this

because we recognize

we need to have people

around us.

Okay?

If you've been here

only for a couple weeks,

keep coming.

I know it's hard.

Actually,

we had a few people

over last week

and I was just talking

about Therese

and actually even,

even Jackie

makes me think of this.

I remember when

these two people

first came,

you came on your own

without really anyone around

and do you remember

how overwhelming it felt?

I mean,

do you actually,

all of us remember

when we walk into a place

and you're like,

oh my goodness,

I don't know anyone here.

Everyone else here

knows everyone.

They practically grew up together.

They're all besties.

I assure you,

we're not.

But you feel like that

because you're new here.

And what I witnessed,

at least these two examples,

and actually there's

countless more examples,

is you guys just stuck around.

Even when it was awkward.

Even when Jackie

was being awkward.

He just stuck around.

I was like,

wow, Jackie,

it still is awkward.

And I was just like,

oh,

credit to you, man.

When we say,

hey,

stay for lunch,

you literally stay.

And then you just hung around

until there's no one left.

And the first week

was really hard.

And there's only so much

small talk you can have,

right?

And it's kind of,

hi,

so what do you do?

Oh,

you work in white?

Oh,

that's cool,

cool,

cool.

So,

and there comes the wall.

That's the first barrier.

And then you push through.

And then he shows up

the week after again.

And we,

it was the time when we had,

we had volleyball.

So,

and then he went to volleyball.

Then he offered to give rides.

And suddenly,

because it's like,

actually,

what,

after a while,

oh,

we know who he is.

He's around.

He's here to stay.

Same with Teresa.

She came,

we had friends from the UK

who had known her,

who recommended her to be here.

And again,

just a girl came in

and of course,

ends up meeting,

seeing an ex

in the church

that she was at.

And then ends up

getting back together

with the ex.

And,

and,

what I'm telling you

is this,

to people is hard.

It is awkward.

It is uncomfortable.

But we must do it.

Psalm 133 says this,

how good and pleasant it is

when brothers dwell in harmony.

He said,

oh,

it is so good.

It is so special.

It is so hard.

That's why we have so many commands.

How to love one another.

How to be,

stop talking together.

Focus,

focus on the sermon.

There's a book that I've been reading

called The Anxious Generation.

Who's read that book?

Wow.

No one.

Good.

I can tell you whatever I want

about the book.

Wow,

wow,

wow.

The Anxious Generation

by Jonathan Haidt.

His whole premise is that,

actually,

we have a whole generation now

that are incredibly anxious

about anything and everything.

And his premise is that

they are,

children growing up in this world

now are overprotected

in the real world

and underprotected

in the virtual world.

We just,

his point,

his first example

is interesting.

He says,

hey,

if your kid comes home

from school and says,

hey,

I would love to move to Mars.

There's a school trip

to move to Mars.

Can I go?

You'd be like,

well,

obviously no,

because you're a child

and you won't survive.

And we know that

and we understand that

and yet,

we have young people

now coming home

and go,

hey,

I'd like to go

into the virtual world.

Can I go there myself?

And parents just like,

yeah,

sure,

go there.

And so that we're

overprotecting

in the real world

because now

we don't feel safe

letting our kids go out,

but in the virtual world,

there's basically

just the Wild West

and we let them go.

And then we see

mental health plummeting

and we see people,

as I always joke

and you've heard me joke,

someone who grew up

in the late 1900s,

what he described

my childhood was,

was a,

I forgot the word now.

Well,

he says,

the current childhood

goes through

a phone-based childhood,

so we go through

a play-based one

where it's basically,

we had,

who remembers

being out on the street

as a child

and having to be bored

and make things up,

make games up.

Yeah?

Do you remember that?

Where you just hung out,

when you go and knock

on someone at a friend's door

and you're just going

to hang out,

what do you want to do?

I don't know,

let's just walk.

Do you remember that?

Do you remember the,

do you remember the gift

of boredom?

Do you remember,

do you remember that's where

the friendships would come

because what do you want to do?

I don't know.

But now we end up

in a place where we're

so scared of the real world,

we don't even let the kids

cross the road

without worrying about them.

Whereas my parents,

we actually,

we were just hanging around

on the road.

I remember using chalk

and drawing a badminton court

on the road

and just playing there.

And then of course

every type of car goes by,

we just have to jump across.

We've lost the art.

And one of the biggest things

that I won't show you

the whole book,

please do read it,

was actually,

we've lost the art

of synchronous communication.

What does that mean?

It's when,

it's when I'm talking to Josh here,

I'm reading his body language,

which most of the time

is quite serious

because he's got his arms crossed

because he's a very serious guy.

I say something,

he responds.

I say something,

it causes him to have

just a reaction to it.

And he'll tell me

through his body

that actually,

I mean,

he's an Enneagram aide,

so he likes to challenge

most things.

So I say something,

he'll be like,

oh,

I don't know about that.

And then we'll have

a conversation.

Sorry,

I keep saying,

challenges.

We'll have that,

we'll have that thought

go through in us.

But then I learn

what he likes.

He learns what I like.

And we're learning,

it's synchronous communication.

It's us learning

to behave

with one another,

interact with one another.

Even interactions

like that

is good.

But what's the next generation

doing now?

How are they learning

to communicate?

It is not synchronous,

it is not time-based

because you send a message

and then you wait

for them to respond

at another time.

So you don't learn

the cues.

You don't learn

when you've upset someone

until much later.

They just leave you

blue ticked

and then that's it.

And then you're just

left with your own thoughts.

There's something beautiful

about being together

where that's how we learn,

that's how we are formed.

John Mark Homer says this,

the radical individualism

of Western culture

is not only

a mental health catastrophe,

it's a death blow

to any kind of serious formation

into Christ-like love

because it's in relationships

that we are formed

and forged.

I'll ask you again,

how well do you people?

How well do you people?

Ephesians 4 talks about unity.

Paul's saying,

hey, just be together.

How does he say?

He says,

bear with one another.

Be humble.

Be gentle.

Be patient.

That's how you get unity.

But do we do that?

You don't learn

to be gentle

and humble and lowly

without having people

around you.

Another book

that I just finished

before that

was a book by Dane Orland

called Gentle and Lowly.

It's a fantastic book,

just so beautifully written.

And one thing

that I came away

just being challenged

by that is,

am I gentle and lowly?

That's a huge question.

You should ask that

to yourself.

Am I gentle and lowly?

His premise is,

in all of the Gospels,

Jesus only describes

his heart once,

and that is in Matthew 11,

and it says,

I am gentle and lowly

in heart.

And so I ask myself

that question.

Am I gentle and lowly?

Then I realize

I can't answer that question

by myself.

I have to ask others

to answer that question

for me.

And in my world,

I, okay,

I was just about to say Nathan,

but I'm not that gentle

to Nathan,

but to the most of you

who I am gentle

and kind with,

if I ask you that question,

my hope is that you'll say,

oh, James,

you're pretty good.

You're like a,

like a nine out of ten,

maybe.

That's good.

Julian's looking at me

going,

no, you're not, brother.

Juju.

I've let you off

for a lot of weeks.

So then I realized

there's only really

one person,

actually maybe three people

I should ask that question to.

Christina,

Ruben,

and Alicia.

And I couldn't quite bear

asking my kids.

So it took me a few weeks

to really kind of

build up the courage

to ask Christina.

I said,

hey,

if you had to rank me

out of ten,

how gentle and lowly

I was,

what would you say?

And she stopped

for a bit.

She's like,

hmm,

you're probably five.

I was like,

oof.

She's like,

naturally you're a five.

Like,

you're not very gentle,

you're not very lowly.

But then she said

the next line,

which was,

but I see that you're trying,

so I'll probably rate

your intentions

ten out of ten.

I was like,

yo.

The discipline

of peopling

requires us to be gentle,

lowly,

humble.

And we can only learn

those things

when we are around people.

And Dorothy Day

says this,

if we are to love God,

we must learn

to love people.

If we are,

and then I want to add to it,

if we are to learn

to love people,

we must know people.

If we want to know people,

we must spend time

with people.

But if we're all honest

with ourselves,

in Hong Kong,

we don't have much time.

And so we say

we want community,

we say we want to be known,

but we can't actually

handle the time

it takes to do it.

It's kind of like

you want the truth,

but you can't handle the truth.

If you want community,

but you can't handle community

because community

is hard.

It requires discipline.

And I'm going to lump in

a couple of disciplines here

just on that.

One of them is hospitality.

Psalm 23,

my brother last week

talked about

how he prepares a table

for us

in the presence

of our enemies.

He anoints our heads

with oil

and our cups overflow.

Romans 12 here says

that we should seek

to show hospitality.

hospitality.

This was something

that we were relatively

good at in England.

Why?

Because we had a house

and we had a dining table

that could fit

more than five people.

But now we don't.

Let me ask you,

what are the biggest challenges

when it comes to

you being hospitable?

Here in Hong Kong,

you think about

your own life.

I think about

Julian Florence,

who actually,

that's your heart,

you want to be hospitable.

One of the challenges

that you guys face

when you try to be hospitable.

Go on.

We're in May 4th.

You're in May 4th.

That is so true.

I should introduce you

to May 4th.

Then you got some people there.

May 4th,

because people don't want

to go to the dark side.

Yeah.

Because the dark side is dark.

You're in May 4th.

That's one reason.

Why else is hospitality hard?

Agnes.

Is Agnes here?

I think Agnes is hiding

in the back.

Her and Vincent

are probably

the most hospitable people

that I've met

here in Hong Kong.

They are just always

having people over.

If you haven't been invited over,

please invite yourself over.

Vincent's spiritual gift

is called barbecue.

Oh,

and the tomahawk is good.

What makes you be hospitable

and what's hard for you?

here.

Yeah.

That is so good.

Honestly,

if you go and you watch them,

they are nonstop.

Well,

actually,

Vincent's just stood

at the barbecue.

Agnes is nonstop

just going around.

We all tell her,

hey,

can you sit down

and spend time with us?

But she enjoys

that service,

that hospitality.

How often do we go

out of our way

to be hospitable?

And I'll challenge you.

If you live in a small place,

that means you can only

invite two people,

but it means you can

still invite two people.

There's something

about Starbucks,

which is good,

and I've met some of you

in Starbucks

and they're great times

because I love matcha lattes.

There's something

about just going

to a restaurant

that's nice as well

where, hey,

you're served

and you just kind of

have to pretend

to fight for the bill

at the end.

But something about

going home

that is just so different

that I would encourage

you to try.

And actually,

I was unpacking this

with Josh earlier

this week

and I was like,

actually,

why do people struggle

with that?

I guess it's because

sometimes we don't want

people to see

the home that we live in.

Sometimes we're afraid

of what they will see,

what we're trying to show.

Sometimes we're just afraid

of the mess that we live in,

in which case

we should just tidy up.

But there's something

about all of this.

There's something

about just being hospitable

that actually requires you

to open up your house

and go, hey, come.

Come hang out.

Come have dinner.

Let me cook you

this very average meal

that does not compare

to the Hong Kong restaurants

outside.

But let me get to know you

here around the table.

I think we've lost

the art of being

at the table.

If I look at Jesus,

he spent so much time

eating.

What does he do

after doing the biggest

act in the history

of the universe,

saving mankind

and resurrecting again?

What does he do?

He goes and has breakfast.

He goes by the beach

and he starts cooking fish.

What does he do

just before he has

to do this act

is the last supper

he eats.

What does he do

when he,

what does he tell

the tax collector Matthew,

hey, I'm going to be together.

What does he tell Zacchaeus,

hey, I'm going to come

to your house.

What does he do

when he walks

in Luke 24

on the road

to Emmaus?

He ends up

at a place

where they break bread

and eat together.

If you look

at the scriptures,

you'll see Jesus

is always eating.

5,000, 4,000.

He's eating.

There's something

about hospitality

that we can't lose sight of.

There's a pastor

in England

called Tim Chester

and he says this,

meals are a microcosm

of social reality.

They basically symbolize

who we are

and who we welcome in.

Let us be a people

who welcome.

Let us be a people

who actually have

a welcoming heart

and say,

hey, I want to be with you.

I want to spend time with you.

I want to open up

my home to you.

But it's hard.

It requires a discipline.

Shane Clayball

and the author says

everyone wants

a revolution

but no one wants

to do the dishes

because it's hard.

But if we put in

the hard work,

if we put in the effort

of opening up our homes

and being hospitable,

then we'll see relationships

that are forged

that will bring about

change in people's lives.

Henry Nouwen says this,

that actually hospitality

isn't what changes people.

It just creates a space

for them to change.

If we want people to change,

if we want to change,

we need to create spaces

to do that.

Can we do that here?

And this is why

we're so blessed

with this place

that we can make

to feel like a home

on a weekday evening

when the life groups are here.

But there is nothing

like going to someone's house

and having them

just sit around,

sit around a couch

and a sofa

with just tea

and coffee table.

It's just different.

I encourage you,

whether you're in

a very small place

and you can only invite

one or two people,

whether you're in a huge place

and you can invite

20, 30 people,

you just let us know

the date

and we'll be there.

Hospitality is important.

Even communion.

1 Corinthians 11

is the famous passage,

you know,

the night that he was betrayed,

Jesus took bread

and said this

and we're going to have

communion later too.

What was the context of that?

Hospitality.

Welcome.

Why?

Because Paul walked

into a church in Corinth

and he saw

the rich people

were eating over here

and the poor people

were eating over here

and there wasn't hospitality,

there wasn't a time

where they were all

sharing things together

and so that's when

he jumped into the spiel

about communion.

Can we be willing

to actually have

this hospitable place?

And I'll tell you

that sometimes here,

and many of you

may have experienced this,

it makes me sad

that people don't feel

welcomed here.

I had friends

coming from the UK

and they said,

oh, the service was great,

but we didn't really

feel welcomed.

And I was like,

that sucks.

But here's my other stance

that maybe is a little bit stubborn.

I don't really want

to create a welcome team

to welcome people.

I don't want you

to only be welcome

when you put on

the yellow t-shirt

and says,

hi, welcome to church.

My question is,

can we be welcoming

just in general?

If you are a known member

of this community,

can you look at someone

who you've never seen

and go, hey,

hey, good to see you.

Tell me about you.

I don't know about you.

And yeah,

there'll be embarrassing times

where you say,

hey, is it your first time?

You don't know

I've been here for four months.

That's okay.

I can't believe

I haven't seen you.

I mean,

those Chinese people

really do look all the same.

But let's not be afraid

of those conversations.

Let's be willing

to be hospitable

because it actually goes

beyond just eating.

It's the spirit

of hospitality.

Maybe on that note,

I'll share a little bit.

My next plug

is about the cedar meal.

Okay.

I actually asked Bonnie

to put this into the group.

The cedar meal on Good Friday,

we're going to have a service here,

a Good Friday service

where it will be interactive

and there'll be different stations

to reflect

and come to the cross together.

Straight after that,

we're proposing

that we have a cedar meal.

Now,

we can't have everyone,

which is why we've got to sign up.

But we also know

it's hard for you to do it

and you forget

because so many things

are happening

during a service.

So I've actually asked Bonnie,

if you're in our God's Gathering

WhatsApp group,

I've asked them to send that

into the WhatsApp group now.

If you want to join us

for that time,

can you either,

I'll even give you permission

to,

why don't you just fill out

the form now?

I don't think it's a bit hard form.

But if you want to do it later

and you want to keep focusing here,

can you put a pin in it?

Can you pin the message?

There is no link here

so we don't really need

to have that.

But the other thing is,

if you're in the WhatsApp group,

you'll see it.

Okay.

If you are not in the WhatsApp group

and you really want to be

in the WhatsApp group,

then come and talk to me.

Come and find me

and get into the WhatsApp group.

Of course,

if you're a stranger,

then I won't let you

in the WhatsApp group.

But if you've been here

for a long time

and I recognize your face,

then I'll be like,

okay,

well,

come and join us.

Okay,

so please do sign up to that.

I think that is a really good

opportunity to have there.

One of the visions

that I had for this church

is that we would be a family

that is expecting guests.

We would be a family

who commit to knowing each other

and the discipline

that that requires,

but that we are also welcoming

and expecting guests.

And my hope is that

every single person

that walks through this door

will at least feel welcomed.

We don't need to have

a long walk of conversation

because they might be introverts

who would just like,

just get away from me.

I just want to get my Jesus on.

That's fine,

but at least we can be welcoming

to them

because it isn't them and us.

Romans 15, 7 says this,

why do we welcome others?

Because Christ welcomed us.

I'm not asking us to be

basically performing hospitable acts.

I'm asking us to be hospitable,

to be welcoming.

So that's one of the disciplines.

Another one is service.

Service is actually,

if you just look at different

spiritual discipline lists,

service is probably the one

that will come up the most.

And what is that one?

That is just basically

putting someone else's interests

above our own.

Psalm 100 says this,

serve the Lord with gladness.

Agnes just said,

and I just helped you

have a picture of how she serves.

Who's been to a barbecue with the lies?

Who's witnessed the zipping around

constantly moving?

Yes.

The gladness that she has,

the joy that she has in serving.

If we are to be devoted followers of Christ,

if we are to be disciplined disciples,

we must serve other people.

Let me ask you another question.

When was the last time

you did something for someone else?

Who isn't your spouse or your child?

When was the last time

you went out of your way

and said,

I'm going to serve you.

I'm going to call,

let me drive you

and go out of my way

to take you home.

I was the beneficiary of that

as a youth.

As a youth that,

I went to a youth group

on a Friday night.

Then afterwards,

because we're in England,

there's no MTR.

It would be dangerous

if I traveled around.

My pastor would drive 45 minutes

to take me home

and another 20 minutes

to take another person home

and then drive home himself.

Ended up pretty much being

a two-hour drive

on a Friday evening.

He was serving me

and he was serving me

with gladness.

When was the last time

you went out of your way

to do something different

for other people?

We're in a culture,

we're in a city

that doesn't do that

because we have people

to wash our dishes,

we have people

to do our laundry.

One thing that really

just blew my mind

coming from the UK

was that I didn't even need

to put petrol into the car

by myself.

There's someone there.

You just sit in the car.

In the rest of the world,

that does not happen.

We are a service-oriented,

consumer-oriented culture.

Has that seeped into the church?

Has that seeped into

the way we live?

That you've come in here

with your arms crossed

going, entertain me,

lead me in a few songs.

Open up the word for me

because it's too hard

for me to do it.

Brackets, I'm too lazy

to do it myself.

And then I'm done.

Oh, that was a good time.

That wasn't a good time.

I don't know.

Worship was a 6 out of 10

because Julian was on the keyboard

and he wasn't great.

I want to go.

The only way you're going

to be filled is if you give.

The only way you're going

to feel the Spirit fill you,

that you will come here

feeling just blessed

is if you are willing to give.

And so here's the other plug.

Honestly, there's no church

that I've been to

that has never announced this,

which is we need AV people.

We need sound people.

Like if you go to any church,

that announcement

will probably come up

at some point within the year.

Why?

Because we need someone

to click the slides.

Because we need someone

to serve others

so that people can know

the lyrics.

People can sing along

to these songs

without being distracted.

So actually,

if you're like,

okay, okay,

I should do something.

And I know this happened

a couple of weeks ago.

Then please,

then sign up.

Sign up to click the slides.

You don't need any spiritual gift

for that, I can confirm.

You do not need a spiritual gift

to do slides.

You can just do it

because you guys are all

clicking on computers anyway.

You know how to do it.

Be of service

to other people.

Kidswell.

Kidswell.

That room over there,

I mean, not this one,

the one back there,

it's carnage,

it's chaos

because they're little humans

who lack self-control

because their prefrontal cortex

isn't developed yet.

But we need people

to love them,

to serve them,

to disciple them

and serve with gladness.

Are we willing

to do those kinds of things?

Mother Teresa says this,

not all of us

can do great things,

but we can do small things

with great love.

Can we be a people,

actually something else

that we need to do

is the bin bag.

There are a lot of people

here eating food afterwards.

That bin bag probably

needs refreshing

every 10, 15 minutes.

Challenge yourself.

Okay, today I'm going to do

one round at least.

Let us be people

who are willing to serve.

You know what?

One of the best things

that gets my mind

kind of focused on worship

on a Sunday morning

is when I come here

at 9 or 10

and I watch the life groups

take turns

to set up the chairs.

That is worship.

I have never,

Melissa is not as focused

in my sermons

as she is

as when she's lining up

the chairs.

She's,

she's got OCD,

but she's,

and I am so blessed.

And I watch her

and her group

just set up the chairs

and I'm like,

that is it.

And I can sense it.

I can see the worship

come through.

There was another quote

that I came across

which was services,

basically worship

in work clothes.

When I see each group

coming in

and setting up the chairs

and they look at the picture

from the last week

because we seem to forget.

It's the same every week, guys.

But it's,

but watching people show up

to worship,

it was particularly

entertaining last week

when it was the big guys group

and just these huge guys

who all look like security guards

and they were just like

moving the stools around

going,

oh,

where do we put this?

Where do we put this?

This is so light.

This chair is so light.

Let's carry 10 together.

Oh,

the worship

that I experienced,

that I saw

through their service.

St. Francis says this,

for it is in giving

that we receive.

Maybe you're sat here going,

oh,

I don't know

if I receive much

in church.

Maybe I don't feel filled

when I come to church.

Before I give you

any more accusations,

maybe my question would be,

oh,

well,

have you given anything?

If you don't feel

as though you've received

anything today

it's because your arm,

your fists are just clenched up

and you've not actually served.

In which case,

yeah,

you're probably not going

to receive anything today.

But if you give,

if you pour yourself out,

that is the true blessing.

We are part of a much bigger church

that has a whole side team

that basically sets up the chairs

and tidies everything up.

And that's one thing

that I'm going to keep fighting forever.

That we are allowed,

we will have the honor

to set up our own chairs

because it's a blessing.

My goodness,

that we will be allowed

to take our own bin bag out.

That we can serve each other

and serve God

in that way.

Can we be people of service?

In Matthew 20,

there's this mom,

caring mom,

tiger mom,

who goes to Jesus

and says,

hey,

Jesus,

you're about to do something

and you're about to go into heaven.

Quick request,

just a small thing.

When my sons are up there,

can they be your right and left hand?

Can they just be at the top with you?

Because my sons,

you know,

my sons are so gifted.

They're just so good.

They deserve to be there.

They will change the world

with you together.

And then what does Jesus say?

What does Jesus say?

Turn with me.

Matthew 20.

Matthew 20.

Matthew 20.

Matthew 20.

Matthew 20.

Matthew 20.

Matthew 20.

Matthew 20.

A mother's request.

I love it.

Verse 20.

Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee

came up to him with her sons

and kneeling before him,

she asked him something

and he said to her,

what do you want?

She said to him,

say that these two sons of mine

are to sit one at your right hand

and one at your left in your kingdom.

Jesus answered,

you do not know what you are asking.

Are you able to drink the cup

that I am to drink?

They said to him,

we're able,

we're good.

Right hand,

left hand,

we're strong.

And he said to them,

you will drink my cup,

but to sit at my right hand

and my left hand

is not mine to grant,

but it's for those for whom

it has been prepared by my father.

And when the 10 heard it,

they were indignant

at the two brothers.

But Jesus called them to him

and he said,

you know that the rulers

of the Gentiles

lord it over them

and their great ones

exercise authority over them.

It shall not be so among you.

This is where he does not conform

to the pattern of this world.

But whoever would be great among you

must be your servant

and whoever would be first among you

must be your slave.

Even as the son of man

came not to be served,

but to serve

and to give his life

as a ransom for many.

And he drops the hammer.

He says,

hey,

even I didn't come

to be served.

I'm the VIP of this.

I'm the creator of this thing.

I'm the OG.

And yeah,

I'm here to serve.

I'm here to wash feet

in John 13.

I am here to serve.

The Gentiles,

they will lord it over you.

That's the way of our world.

When you rise up in department,

when you get older and older

and people around you

and your colleagues leave

and die,

then you get more

and more powerful.

You lord it over other people.

But the way I do it,

Jesus says,

is upside down.

The first will be last

and the last will be first.

Would you be like that?

One of the other shocks to me

when I came to Hong Kong

was,

sorry doctors here,

but when I go into a hospital,

the doctors just aren't very nice.

I'm just like,

what did I do?

Why are you so rude?

Why don't you smile?

These guys smile.

Only to each other,

but they do smile.

And one time,

I was annoyed.

Alicia had fractured her arm

and I was like,

by the fourth start,

I was like,

hey,

I'm really sorry.

Are you having a really bad day?

Like,

I don't even need a hello.

I just need a human.

Of course,

I understand the context.

Doctors are overworked

and they're extremely busy

and so they have to be obnoxious

to get through,

to get through.

But I was saying,

ah,

but I think it's when you're a student,

that's how you get kicked

as a medical student

because your superiors

are not very kind to you.

And by the time that you get

to that point,

that's just kind of the default.

I think Jesus proposes

a different way.

Jesus says,

as you increase in influence,

as you increase in power

and authority

and in affluence,

you get to serve even more.

And I'm inspired by this regularly,

even on the other side

in Kung Fu Church,

people who are

in the highest echelons of society

handing out flyers,

handing out just welcome notes

in church services.

And I'm just like,

ah,

that is the heart of the servant.

And again,

I'm not asking for acts of service.

I don't need you to go to the bin

and go,

hey James,

taking out the trash,

being a great servant,

the humblest,

here we go.

We're not asking for acts of service.

We're asking for servant hearts.

And there's a difference

because if you are committing

to just doing acts of service,

I'll tell you what it means.

And Tim Keller talks a little bit about this.

He says,

when we are committing

to just acts of service,

we're basically saying,

I'm in control.

I will choose

what I serve in.

And so today I choose

to take out the trash.

Today I choose

to help Danny with the chairs.

That's you,

that's you basically saying,