Confession

This is the last week of our Spiritual Disciplines series as it's Palm Sunday and we're looking forward to this Easter week.

And it's been a long season, especially for those of us who have been fasting.

And I have experienced so much love from God this whole Lenten period after choosing to go on a fast

and then having God love me so much to close McDonald's downstairs to renovate for a good few months.

And I think it opens next week.

So it's as if he is in control of everything and that the world is all about me.

I cannot wait.

It is that day.

It's going to be a good day.

Oh, Jesus.

So we did fasting.

We did lamenting.

We did reading the word.

We did worship.

Actually, you know what's fine?

Every time I present the discipline that we're going to talk about, I found myself saying, hey, fasting is a lost art in the church.

Lamenting is a lost art in the church.

And I realized, you know what?

Everything seems to be a lost art.

Discipline seems to be a lost art in the church, full stop.

What are we actually doing?

What do we spend our times doing when we are doing church?

What does that even mean?

And so this week's one is different again.

And actually, this week's one, we're going to have Bibles handed out to us later.

Not yet, but because we're just going to go through the word of God here.

And it's something that is definitely a lost art in the church.

But I'll start with this.

Just to make us feel really good.

The thing that unites us all here is that we are sinners.

We are sinners.

Trevor, you're a sinner.

Like a serious one.

Just as serious as Josh.

You're a sinner.

That's why you're both side here.

You're a sinner.

We have all sinned.

We've all made mistakes.

Some of us to big degrees, we feel, and some of us to smaller degrees.

Yet we're all sinners.

Now, when we sin, the next thing that really happens is that we just feel guilty.

Right?

Not your head if you felt guilty before about something.

The question then becomes, well, when you feel guilty, what do you do?

What do you do with that guilt?

Do you basically throw yourself into an addiction?

Because that helps you numb those feelings of guilt so you don't feel bad anymore?

Or you just feel worse at the end afterwards?

But you just, is that what you do?

Or do you run away?

Do you run away and you just veg out on Netflix?

Is that how you kind of numb that guilt?

For some of us, it actually is the trigger that causes us to fall into depression.

For us, it falls into anger.

Isolation.

I don't know if we, as the church, have really, truly figured out what we do with that guilt.

Hence why there's a lost art, at least in the Protestant church, there is the lost art of confession.

The lost art of saying, sorry.

Martin Luther says this, when I urge you to confession, I'm urging you to be a Christian.

That's really what it is.

The whole Christian faith, the whole premise is on basically that you are a sinner, that you have guilt.

And it's Jesus who freezes from that.

And yet, somehow, we know it's that important, yet we don't do it anymore.

We don't say sorry anymore.

Maybe we're not even very good at saying sorry.

I've been trying to teach my kids how to say sorry and to be more specific when it comes to saying sorry,

because when they do something wrong, which we all inevitably do, it's like, you're sorry.

And then I find myself being that really annoying dad that says, well, who's sorry?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, you're sorry.

What are you sorry for?

And then I'm that patronizing parent that kind of walks them through.

When we confess, when we apologize, we have to be specific with what we're doing.

Otherwise, are we truly sorry?

So we're talking about the art or the discipline of confession here.

Last week, I shared a quote with you, which is we generally, John Ortberg says this,

we generally sin alone, but we heal together.

Right?

We generally sin alone, but we heal together.

This week, there's another quote that maybe just adds on top of that,

which I think is really nice by Bonhoeffer.

And he says this, he who is alone with his sin is utterly alone.

Confession is the breakthrough to community.

If we generally sin together and we heal together, sorry, sin alone and then we heal together,

how we heal through community is through confession.

The book of James chapter five says, hey, confess your sins to one another and therefore you will be healed.

Who wants to be healed?

We all want to be healed of our sin and shame and guilt.

But the question is, do we, are we willing to put in the hard work to confess?

And it's hard.

Anyone who's been married will know saying sorry is hard.

But yet it is a must.

Confess is the only way your marriage will continue to grow and be healed.

And Jay, Emily just shot a really strong look to Jay.

Just that was a really strong, piercing look.

Jay, you can come and sit here at the front during ministry time.

So we're going to talk about confession.

But I realized, okay, so one of the promises I made to you at the beginning of this series was,

hey, when we preach on this topic, it's preaching from a place of authority.

Why? Because we've gone through it.

We are going through it and we are doing it as much as we can.

And we have experience in this.

You know, that's why I had Gabe, who knows scripture so well, be the one who comes up to share scripture with us.

Honestly, with this one, I'm not sure.

Because growing up in the Protestant church, it's not something that you really, really think about.

We don't really, really do.

And so really, actually, as I look more into it, there is a different wing of the Christian faith that is much more well-versed,

much more experienced than this, and that is the Catholic Church.

And so actually, what we're going to do is actually invite Ellen to come up and have a conversation with me,

where I'm just going to kind of prod and probe her mind to see her experience when it comes to confession.

Can we give a round of applause?

Thank you, Ellen.

Which you guys know is probably a very traditional church.

Your idea, a stigma around the Catholic Church is that it's just a dying church, that there's not a lot of young people.

So a big part of my role is to connect the students who are going to Catholic schools to the church, essentially,

to build up their relationship with Jesus and invite them there.

And so, yeah, a lot of my formation is through the Catholic Church.

I've been picking our mind a little bit.

we worked together at Young Life, and I went to work one day.

I watched The Two Popes for the first time.

That was really cool.

I was like, there are so many things I don't understand about the Catholic Church.

And then last week, we watched the Conclave.

You did see it.

So I've just been going on this journey, just going, what is going on?

And if I find all that really weird, Ellen must find us really weird as well.

Is that right?

It's taken me a while to get used to it, yeah.

What's one thing that's jumped out at you coming from the Catholic Church

and coming to a church like this?

Admittedly, maybe we are a little bit more chaotic than we should be.

But what were some of the things that come out?

Wow, that's different.

I guess the concept of planting a church was really new for me,

especially because I joined the gathering at such an initial stage.

It was really small when we were meeting at the Young Life base,

and there was all this conversation about what kind of church we wanted to be.

And that was a new conversation, right?

Because I come from a church that there's doctrine, there's tradition, there's liturgy.

That has stemmed all the way back from the first disciples.

So, yeah, I was struck by that, like watching people wrestle with which traditions they wanted to keep,

how they wanted to do things like communion and baptism.

Yeah.

I was at a dinner actually recently, City to City.

It was a fundraising dinner that Aidan's uncle invited me to,

and it was church planting, it was by Tim Keller's kind of church organization,

just church planting around the world.

And then I was sat next to a lady who'd been a Catholic for the whole of her life,

and she was like, at the end of the dinner, she was like,

James, I have no clue what just happened.

What do they mean by planting a church?

And then she looked over to her husband and said,

can you imagine if we told Father Thomas that we were planting a church?

Like, for me, I realized it's something that I'd taken for granted,

that actually I hadn't even thought about,

that actually the Catholic Church, this isn't a thing.

Because there's so much history, rich history,

when it comes to liturgy and tradition.

And maybe the one I wanted to really bring you up to talk about was confession.

Yeah.

Tell us a little bit about what confession means to the Catholic Church

and what your experience about it.

Yeah, so the Catholic Church has seven sacraments.

Maybe if you went to Catholic schools you would have learned about this,

but one of those sacraments is the sacrament of reconciliation,

and that is the act of coming to a priest and confessing your sins.

And so when I was nine, I think, nine or ten,

we did it as I went to Catholic schools.

And although my family is not a practicing Catholic or anything like that,

we still did our sacraments because it was just kind of like the thing you did

if you went to a Catholic school.

And so I didn't really have an understanding of it,

but essentially you go to a priest,

and I remember it was Father Paul Ghouley,

who's still a really good friend of mine.

He sat me down and I was there,

and you kind of are sitting with the priest,

and I just said to him I was going to make up a lie or like a sin

because I didn't know what to say.

And instead I was like confronted with the fact I was about to lie in confession,

and I was like, Father Paul, I don't know what to say.

I can't think of anything.

He's like, that's all right.

We'll just forgive your sins anyway.

And he was just so kind and gentle,

and he prayed the prayer and gave me a blessing,

and then I went off, and I always remember that moment.

I still remind Father Paul of that kindness he showed me.

But then the next time I went to reconciliation was probably ten years after that.

And this was after my conversion.

I had really come to understand what relationship with Jesus looks like.

I wanted to live my faith.

It wasn't just a school subject anymore, but it was very much a lifestyle.

And confession was just one of those attributes of the lifestyle that I wanted to live.

So I remember going to the priest and saying,

because part of the confession,

you start by saying the last time that I went to confession.

So, Father, forgive me for my sins.

It's been ten years since my last confession.

And I remember in that moment I didn't want to waste it.

And I had been told, like, in the talk before,

we had just heard a preaching, to be honest.

It's almost as if, like, you're going to a doctor,

and you don't want to hide your wounds.

Because if you hide your wounds, then the doctor can't heal them.

So I was told that.

So I went into confession, and I just kind of was very honest

and kind of listed out a bunch of things that were weighing on me.

It's not just my sin, but some of the brokenness that I was feeling

from sins that others had done unto me.

Yeah, it was a lot of that.

So talk, and now I'm getting really interested.

Talk me through what it looks like.

Because, okay, my ignorance here is going to show,

because when I think about confession,

I think about a dark church,

and it's raining outside, and it's night,

and then someone walks in and dripping,

and they walk in, and they go to that booth.

They just killed somebody.

They killed somebody.

They walk into that little kind of thing that they sit in,

and magically there's someone sat next to them

in the other side who they can't see,

but they kind of can.

It's like a grill, and they're, like, shadowy.

Because you kind of can see them, because, I mean, I guess you,

I don't know.

But anyway, or maybe for movie purposes,

it's important that you can see both people.

And then there's just this deep, dark confession that happens.

Is that how it is,

or is it a much more day-to-day thing?

Or what is it now?

Is there a WhatsApp line?

Or what does it look like?

It could be that.

Honestly, most of the churches you'll see,

if you go into a church,

you'll see the confessionals,

and it's built into the church.

So you definitely can go in and still experience that,

where it's a lot more anonymous.

You know that the priest is there,

but they can't see your face.

But then more traditionally,

probably for the past 60 years,

there's a bit of a shift in the way confession's done,

and you can also choose to sit like you would a conversation with a peer,

and just face-to-face.

And you're either sitting on a chair,

or you might decide to kneel.

Depends on, I guess, how repentant you are.

Yeah.

Sometimes I have heard a story of a friend of mine.

He was struck with his sin one day,

and he was like,

I really need to go to confession.

And he looked up,

and a priest walked past him.

And in that moment,

he's just like,

oh, Father, Father,

would you hear my confession?

And this was on a university campus,

and he just sat down on a park bench

and heard his confession.

Wow.

So I'm guessing this is foreign to a lot of us

who haven't grown up in the Catholic kind of church scene,

but I also know there's probably a lot of people here

who have grown up in Catholic churches.

So you actually know this somewhat as well.

Tell us one thing that we're missing out on.

If, you know,

as the Evangelical Protestant Church

that doesn't do this discipline,

what are we missing out on?

I think,

I think if you've never confessed your sin to a person,

you're missing out.

Like,

on a number of different levels.

Like,

it's like,

I was saying to me this morning,

it's like the perfect combination of accountability and freedom.

It's like you have the discipline.

I know that seems like a contradiction,

but the accountability is that the discipline is organized for you,

and there's like a real liberation in that,

just knowing that you can come,

confess,

and it's,

you know when you're in worship

and you feel the Holy Spirit

and sometimes you feel lighter?

I know that that's kind of articulated a lot.

I've heard it this week,

a young person say that,

right?

So it's like that feeling

when you leave the confessional.

It's like you are lighter for it.

You can trust that God has heard your confession,

that you are forgiven,

and it's just a very tangible experience of that.

but in saying that,

I remember an encounter I had with Chagall actually early on in the gathering,

and sorry,

Chagall,

I should ask you permission for this,

but she turned to me,

and she's like,

would you hear my confession?

And in that moment,

I was really struck,

this is the first time right outside of the Catholic Church,

someone wants to like confess their sins to me,

and I was like,

I don't know if I agree with this,

I also know that this is a very,

very sacred moment,

and I just said to Chagall,

I'm like,

can we pray before we do this?

And she shared,

and then I prayed,

and the whole day,

I was thinking about how sacred that was.

So,

I think maybe the sacredness,

maybe,

yeah?

If that's an answer to your question.

What did she confess?

No way!

That's a good point.

Another one is,

you can be sure the priest is going to be super confidential,

right?

They take a vow.

So this person is totally anonymous,

there's no like feelings,

there's no residual like guilt,

or anything like that.

Although sometimes,

I have definitely avoided priests that are my friends,

and I would go to maybe a different parish,

just to like kind of stop that awkwardness,

but I know that theologically,

maybe that's not good.

Anyway,

yeah.

Well,

hey,

thank you very much.

I think my goal was just to,

hey,

this is a whole different world out there,

that actually has spent thousands of years even,

just committing to the discipline of confession,

that I think it was helpful for us to even hear about.

So thank you very much.

Can I just say one more thing?

Sorry.

The frequency that I did it definitely helped me to become more sensitive to when sin has entered my life.

So I appreciate that.

So whatever format you do confession,

like I pray that it would form your conscience quickly.

And I think confession did that for me.

In the early years of formation,

it was confession that helped me to create a pure heart so that I could love people better.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Round of applause for Ellen.

Thank you.

So we're all sinners.

You're a sinner.

I'm a sinner.

And hopefully on the process of sanctification,

we've become,

we've become more and more like Jesus.

But the eye of confession is so important.

But do we do it?

And it's not just that we're not alone as the only sinners in the history of mankind here.

This book is filled with sinners.

In fact,

if you were to have a look at this book and go,

what's,

look at the people in this book.

Why did God choose to share these stories with us?

What's he actually trying to show us?

I think if anything,

he's trying to say is the way to get to me,

the only way to get to me is through repentance.

Because if you look at all the people that go to him and get to him,

it's,

it's just,

I mean,

these heroes have committed all the different kinds of sins.

And so God's showing us,

I'm going,

wait,

this is actually the only way.

So I wonder whether actually through this,

through this book here,

through our community here,

we should try and normalize confession.

We should try and normalize to the point where we can actually go to one another and go,

actually,

hey,

I've had a really bad week.

This,

this happened and it wasn't,

it wasn't good.

And I actually experienced the freedom that Ellen was just telling us about here.

And we're going to go through a Psalm,

probably one of,

again,

one of the most famous Psalms.

A couple of years ago,

Kimon and I took a Sabbath memorizing it together,

Psalm 51.

And it's super powerful.

One of the old songs that I grew up in the church listening to,

that actually Uncle Anthony would have led,

would create in me a clean heart.

Oh God.

Psalm 51.

But just maybe give you a little bit of context here.

If we go back to the story of David.

Oh,

you know what?

We've got some very strong ladies who are passing out the Bible.

So I'm going to actually ask,

I haven't done this.

And last week I kind of flew around everywhere.

This week I want to just to focus on this chapter here.

So I've asked our ladies to pass them around.

I know some of you have these cute apps that you use.

That aren't truly Bibles.

But can we just,

can we just pass them around?

And if you really have your own Bible,

if you really have an app that you take notes with,

feel free just to pass it along.

But I just wanted the act of just,

let's get the Bibles out.

And if you're passing it to your,

your friend next to you,

say,

Hey,

this is the word of God.

This is the word of God.

And this is a big,

this is a big deal.

What I want to do,

part of the reasons why we gather is,

is we're trying to learn how to read the Bible together.

We're trying to understand God's word together.

And so actually having a Bible and going,

wow,

this is what it looks like.

I don't even have to scroll.

I think the pages is,

you can see it all in one go.

How cool is that?

Right.

And so we're going to go through Psalm 51,

but whilst I buy some people some time and some are now going to the

contents page to look for where Psalms is.

Yeah,

there are,

there are different versions.

Okay.

So ESV is the one that traditionally,

uh,

well,

the one that I use right here.

It's probably the one.

Uh,

and then there's another one,

which is NIV,

which is if you grew up in the late 1900s like me,

that was the most popular one back then.

Uh,

but it has evolved a little bit.

Uh,

and there is,

and if you,

and there's an NLT that is,

um,

let's say just a little bit more accessible.

Okay.

Personally,

I don't use it as my first go-to.

I use the ESV first.

And then when inevitably I do not understand what I'm reading,

I will then go to the NLT to help me understand a little bit.

Okay.

Uh,

I probably,

that's the way around.

I do it.

Some people start with the NLT.

Some people start with the message,

which is like 90s slang.

I mean,

it's,

it's,

it's,

it's aged,

I feel as though,

but it's 90s slang,

right?

Uh,

but hey,

this is the word of God.

But before I,

we,

we,

I invite you to stand to read it.

Uh,

let me,

let me pay you the picture.

David here,

a young David here is out in the wilderness.

He's running.

He's escaping from Saul.

He's trying to kill him.

Okay.

During that time,

he has a few friends.

He has a few friends who are actually wanting to protect him and look after him.

And one of those friends,

actually there were 37 of them.

One of those friends is a guy called Uriah.

Uh,

and actually,

so he would risk his life to go out into the wilderness to the cage,

to go and protect David,

to give him food,

to protect him and look after him.

So Uriah was David's good friend.

Fast forward,

David becomes the king.

Uriah is still a very strong gifted fighter and leads the armies.

And then there's one time where David decides to apply for some annual leave and does not go out to battle and stays at home.

Uh,

and he lets his friend go out to do the work for him.

Uh,

David was maybe procrastinating and being a bit lazy.

And unfortunately,

whilst they're out in battle,

his friends are in battle.

David one day comes out onto his rooftop and looks over and sees in another building,

a beautiful woman.

He sees a beautiful woman and he goes,

okay,

well,

I would like to meet that woman.

So he ends up meeting this woman whose name was Bathsheba and ends up having an affair with her.

Much later,

uh,

Bathsheba sends a message to David saying,

hey,

I'm pregnant.

And so David's like,

oh,

that's bad.

That's bad.

Because Uriah is a big guy and he's strong and he's out there fighting.

So then David's like,

David does what you and I do when we make a mistake.

How do I cover this up?

How do I,

fix this without anyone knowing about it?

How do I cover it up?

So he thinks of an idea and it's not a bad idea.

He's like,

maybe I'll get Uriah to come back.

I'll have a meeting with him because I want an update about how the battle is going.

And then maybe I'll send him home.

And then when he's at home,

he'll spend the night with his wife.

And then he'll find out later that she's pregnant.

And he'll think it's,

he'll think that it's just their baby.

And so he invites Uriah back and he sits down.

He goes,

how's it going?

Update me about the war.

And they have a good meeting.

And it's like,

good,

good,

good.

Right.

Anyway,

done.

Thank you for the update.

Hey,

go home,

go home and be with your wife.

Of course,

this is all his plan.

And then Uriah,

the guy who had the courage to go out to go protect David when he was still in the wilderness.

Uriah's like,

no,

never.

Who am I that I would go back to be with my wife when my troops are still out on the front line?

I am not doing that.

And he ends up sleeping outside.

And David's like,

that's not what you're supposed to do.

And then Uriah goes back out to fight.

You can kind of see the difference between the two men right now.

And David's like,

well,

this is still going to be a problem.

So then he tells Joab,

he says,

hey,

who's on the battlefield as well.

Hey,

send Uriah out on just like a little special mission right at the front,

where it's the most dangerous.

And at the moment where he needs your help,

pull back,

pull back and then let him go.

Because if we,

if I can get rid of Uriah,

then maybe this problem won't be a problem anymore.

And it happens.

And it happens exactly as he plans.

And Uriah dies.

Bathsheba goes into mourning because her husband has died.

Soon after the morning,

David marries Bathsheba.

And hey,

we're expecting a child.

David does the next thing that you and I do when we try and cover up our sin and we clear our history.

We realize,

oh,

I'm done.

I'm clear.

No one's going to find out.

And that's when Nathan comes up.

Nathan,

the prophet,

goes to David.

Nathan knows about this because God told him.

Of course,

God knows the whole thing.

God knows all the things that we're doing as well,

by the way,

just in case you didn't know that.

Nathan goes,

hey,

David,

let me tell you a story.

There's a rich man and a poor man.

The rich man has just so many,

so many flocks of sheep.

The poor man only has one.

And actually,

the poor man looked after his sheep so well and cared for his sheep and actually treated his sheep as though it was his daughter.

The rich man comes into town and takes that poor man's sheep.

What should he do?

David's just furious.

He's like,

what kind of man would do that?

Oh,

oh.

Nathan says,

well,

he's standing right in front of me.

And at that moment,

David realized that there is no sin that I can commit that won't come to light.

Nothing that's done in darkness won't at one point be exposed into the light.

And that is the context in which he pens Psalm 51.

I'm going to be talking about confession today,

but really I'm actually just going to be going through Psalm 51

because you and I both know when we've screwed up and we've made mistakes

and we get to the point where we've been found out,

that is our true self.

That moment there is when we're like,

it all spews out.

And actually what we see here is David's very,

very honest confession,

not a voluntary one,

might I add.

I'm not convinced that he would have confessed if he was,

if he's been told that he'd managed to get away with it.

And yet here we are with David actually sharing his heart.

So that's how we're going to read Psalm 51.

So can I invite you to stand for the word of the Lord?

And as we read this,

I pray the Lord will give us the,

just the gift of being able to just see how David found,

see what he wants to show us today as well.

Psalm 51.

A Psalm of David,

when Nathan the prophet went to him after he had gone into Bathsheba.

Have mercy on me,

O God,

according to your steadfast love,

according to your abundant mercy,

blot out my transgressions,

wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,

and my sin is ever before me.

Against you,

you only have I sinned,

and done what is evil in your sight,

so that you may be justified in your words,

and blameless in your judgment.

Behold,

I was brought forth in iniquity,

and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Behold,

you delight in truth,

in the inward being,

and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

Purge me with hyssop,

and I shall be clean.

Wash me,

and I shall be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness.

Let the bones that you have broken rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins,

and blot out all my iniquities.

Create in me a clean heart,

O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from your presence,

and take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

and sinners will return to you.

Deliver me from blood guiltiness,

O God,

O God of my salvation,

and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.

O Lord,

open my lips,

and my mouth will declare your praise,

for you will not delight in that sacrifice,

or I would not give it.

You will not be pleased with the burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,

a broken and contrite heart,

O God,

you will not despise.

Do good to Zion in your good pleasure.

Build up the walls of Jerusalem.

Then you will delight in right sacrifices,

in burnt offerings,

and whole burnt offerings.

Then bulls will be offered on your altar.

This is the word of the Lord.

Please take a seat.

So we see laziness,

we see lies,

we see lust,

we see all of it happen,

and finally,

David,

who thought he'd gotten away with it,

has not.

We have our sins

that we think we've gotten away with.

We have our sins

that are filling us with guilt,

driving us into all these different addictions

and pains that we have

that we can't get out of,

that we're trying to numb ourselves from.

What does this passage teach us

about what we can do

when it comes to dealing with our sin?

What does this passage teach us

about confession?

And actually,

that's why I love the fact

that you've got Bibles in front of you now.

We're just going to go through.

And some bits I'll fly through

a little bit quicker than others,

but I think this actually gives us

the template that we need.

So feel free to follow along with me.

Have mercy on me,

O God.

So Nathan exposes him,

and straight away,

he says,

have mercy on me.

What's our definition of mercy?

Grace,

your name is often mixed with

the word mercy.

In your eyes,

what's the difference between the two?

Grace is giving us something

we don't deserve,

and then mercy is giving us...

Yep, you're right.

Mercy is forgiving us

what we do deserve.

Yep, so grace

is giving us,

us getting something

that we don't deserve.

Mercy is sparing us

from something that we do deserve.

So sparing us from the punishment

that we do deserve it.

So David's like,

hey,

and actually,

just a quick note on that.

Nathan confronts David.

David is apologetic.

Of course you would be.

You've just been exposed,

and someone told Nathan about this.

And actually,

he does get forgiven.

But even though we get forgiven,

there are still consequences.

Okay,

so that baby actually still dies.

And actually,

from then on,

David's family is just

an absolute mess.

Okay,

so just because we're forgiven

doesn't mean the consequences

that we've done

are not there.

Okay,

so that's...

But he says,

have mercy on me,

O God,

so please spare me.

Spare me of the punishment.

Why?

Because I'm repentant,

because I'm sorry,

because I feel bad

that I've been found out.

No.

Why?

According to your steadfast love,

according to your abundant mercy,

blot out my transgressions.

God,

have mercy on me.

Forgive me.

Not because of me,

not because I'm worth forgiving,

but because you

have an unfailing love.

Because you have unlimited

grace and love for me.

You...

Actually,

it doesn't run dry at all.

Here's something else.

When we sin,

the first thing that we do

is hide,

and then we think,

God,

I don't want to be near you,

God,

because of how it makes me feel,

because if you find out,

you're going to punish me.

But that's not what Scripture says.

According to your steadfast,

unfailing love,

according to your abundant mercy,

I think sometimes we've got our picture

of Father God completely wrong.

just like the prodigal son

who messes up

and spends all his dad's fortune,

comes sheepishly home,

sees his dad from afar,

and he thinks,

oh my goodness,

I'm going to get such a big rebuking.

And yet his dad runs,

runs,

not with a stick,

but with arms open wide,

going to hold him,

hug him,

embrace him.

I think we lose sight of that

when we sin.

That we think,

every time we sin,

we're going to get beaten with a stick,

and yet what we see here,

what we see in Scripture here,

is that actually God's arms

are open wide,

always for us,

according to your steadfast love

and abundant mercy.

And then he says this,

wash me thoroughly from my iniquity

and cleanse me from my sin.

This isn't just an act,

this isn't just one thing

I need you to clean,

this is right deep down,

this is the deep clean that I need.

This isn't just on the surface.

Christine and I,

we have a very big difference

in our marriage,

is that we value,

or we perceive cleanliness

in very different ways.

And so when I think

I've cleaned something,

I have not cleaned something.

It is not clean.

Because Dettol isn't involved.

Dettol must be involved

in everything.

If it's not Dettol,

it doesn't make sense.

So she values the deep cleaning.

And so David says here,

wash me thoroughly.

Verse three,

for I know my transgressions

and my sin is ever before me.

Something about when we deal with sin

is that we actually

just have to acknowledge it.

The therapist will say,

hey, you can't heal

what you cannot actually

articulate and name.

God says,

actually I know what it is

that you need to admit to,

but actually the very fact

that you just need to share it out.

And you need to acknowledge

that hey,

that was on me.

Brene Brown is of course

a favorite author for some of us,

would say the same.

But the pathway to vulnerability

is just to kind of go,

hey,

that's on me.

How often do we do that?

Or when you make a mistake

or when I make a mistake,

the first thing we do is

someone else.

This goes,

this isn't just you either.

We've inherited all the way

this down from Adam.

When he eats the apple

and then he blames God

and he says,

well,

I only ate the apple

because of the woman

that you gave me.

The first man

did not take responsibility.

Part of confession is going,

hey,

I'm owning this.

This is me.

This is on me.

This is on you,

Jay.

Like whatever sin

that you had,

whatever mistake

that you made,

you've got to say,

Emily,

I'm sorry.

It's on me.

That's the way

to a happy,

healthy marriage.

For Jay,

just say,

hey,

it's on me.

And he doesn't say this

and he says,

my sin

is ever before me.

My sin.

I know this is me.

I know I did this

because of what's going on

in my heart.

That's why I need to be

washed thoroughly.

And then he says this,

against you,

you only have I sinned

and done what is evil

in your sight.

And then I'm like,

wait,

did you really just sin

against God,

just God?

I think Uriah would probably

have something to say

about that.

I think Bathsheba

would probably have something

to say about that.

And yet what he's saying here

is,

here's the thing,

we do sin against other people

but if we keep peeling back,

if we keep peeling back

about why are we doing this,

ultimately the biggest violation

is with God.

He hasn't just broken rules,

he's broken a relationship

with God.

Did you notice

when Ellen was talking

about confession,

what was the ministry called?

It was called reconciliation.

The whole point of confession

is that we would be

reconciled with God.

The whole cause of sin

at the beginning

is that we've been

disconnected with him.

So that's why he's saying,

hey,

against you,

and only you.

Because on the surface

we have sinned

and done different things

but there is a deeper sin

underneath.

So when we confess,

when we apologize to God,

it isn't just,

God,

sorry,

I lost control again

and I went to the website

that I shouldn't have gone to.

That's one thing.

But what we should do

is say,

God,

I'm so sorry.

Out of my lack

of mistrust for you.

Out of my lack

of loving and honoring

my fellow sister

or fellow brother,

out of my worry

that you won't provide

for me someone

that I need,

I ended up conceding

and going to that website.

God,

I'm sorry that I

cut that corner

at work

because actually

that's not,

the act

isn't just the problem.

The act is that actually

I don't trust you.

That I think that I have

to cut this corner

otherwise my boss

won't show me favor.

and because of that

I'll get fired

and then I will

die alone

and hungry.

Really God,

actually my sin

is that I don't trust you.

Can we get to that point?

I remember a conversation

with you Pauline

I think a few years ago

when you were talking about

actually how to even praise kids.

It's not just to say

how to praise kids

but to actually be specific

about,

be specific

and constructive

with your feedback.

both in a positive way

and a negative way.

It's not just

how to怪,

how to yay

but actually

what is the act

that you actually did

and why did you do it?

We need to get

to the heart of the problem

when we come down

to sin.

When we come down

to confession

it's not just saying

oh God I messed up again.

I know I shouldn't be doing it.

Ask yourself why

and then go to God

and go hey

I think I did this

because ultimately

I don't,

you know,

if we go all the way back

it's really just because

we don't trust God

that he is who he says he is.

And that he doesn't love us

in the way that he says

he loves us.

Let's get to that

in our confession

against you

and you only have I sinned.

And then he says this

behold,

okay so this language

if I'm you

especially if I'm a younger person

I read this Psalm 51

I'm like man

this language

that's why the NLT is helpful

that's why the message is helpful

and you kind of go okay

what does he even mean there?

Behold

I was brought forth in iniquity

and in sin did my mother conceive me.

What he's saying here is this

I messed up

but it's not just because

I did that one act

that I messed up

I am just messed up

as a whole.

It's not just the sin

I'm committing

I am a sinner.

There is different

the sin is the act

but sinner is what's just going on

deep inside us.

And he said hey

I know I messed up

here

but it's because

actually deep down

right now

there is so much sin

in me

I was brought forth

since the moment

I was born

I was a sinner.

You were born into sin.

I was born into sin

before I even came

into this world

I was a sinner

that's what David

was saying.

And I've said this before

I mean

we have a really cute baby

in our house right now

and there's

oh he's perfect

and I assure you

he is not perfect.

MJ is an incredibly

selfish sinner.

Babies are filled

with sin.

The moment

the kids

the moment they don't get

something that they don't want

they cry

they scream.

Selfishness

I tell you.

Sin.

Babies are not perfect.

Babies are not.

David recognizes that.

He's like

sin isn't something

that we do later

sin is something

that we're born with.

But then he kind of

turns a little bit.

Verse 6

Behold you delight in truth

in the inward being

and you teach me wisdom

in the secret heart.

What he's saying here

is this actually

even though there is sin

deep down inside us

God has a desire

to teach us truth

to teach us goodness.

But in order to

access that truth

and that goodness

we first have to acknowledge

that there is bad

inside us.

I told you about the book

I was reading

The Anxious Generation

just been on this journey

of just

and of course

I

because

that famous guy

that came through town

who has a lot of speed

comes through

I started watching

as an uncle

in this society

now I was googling

what's the big deal

about eye show speed

and I watch it

and I'm like

I am so confused.

I am just

gaps

no

nothing

you're just shaking your head

like you're confused too

okay

I'm just

I don't know

and then I look

and I'm like

oh man

the depravity

in our world

that we're chasing

after these kinds of things

well what is it

that we're even chasing

I don't know

and then I realize

and then I start saying

oh what has the world become

and then I watch

Gladiator 2

and then I'm like

oh the world's been pretty bad

for a long long time

it's not just now

we have to acknowledge

deep down in our hearts

there is something

that causes us

to mistrust God

to turn away from God

when we're called

to love others

we actually end up

just cheating on others

there's something

deep down

inside us

we were born

in sin

yet God desires

to teach us truth

not just on the surface

not just to modify

our behavior

but in our most

inward being

so we would know

we would have access

to the goodness

that will bring us

life

and not death

you delight in truth

in the inward being

and you teach me wisdom

in the secret heart

and then he says

purge me with hyssop

and I shall be clean

wash me

and I shall be whiter

than snow

I think that's fairly

understandable there

just

the more we sin

our garments

just get dirtier

and dirtier

and to the point where

you actually

it's very hard to clean

today

the t-shirt I'm wearing

is actually on the colorful

side for me

because you've probably

noticed that I wear

two colors when it comes

to t-shirts

black and white

that the black ones

are safe

but the white ones

my wife always laughs

at me

because every time

I go to eat

or anything

it's just another one

bites the dust

it's just

thank God

they're $99

from Uniqlo

but of course

then we invented

the pen

the Tide pen

we all need

a Tide pen

in our pockets

we can't clean

these things ourselves

we need an external

source to help us

clean

these stains

that we have

and then we will

be whiter

and then

verse 8

and then he's

starting to turn

and he's like

let me hear joy

and gladness

that the bones

that you have

broken

rejoice

he's like

whoa

God I am

just in despair

because of my sin

but let me hear joy

and gladness again

let the bones

you have broken

rejoice

this reminds me

that God

disciplines those

he loves

he's not

trying

when he

confronts us

with our sin

the whole point

isn't just to make

us feel terrible

it's actually

it's for reconciliation

it's to bring

just come back

to me

you've strayed

what you're doing

what you're relying on

that's not going to help you

you know it's not going to help you

because every time you go there

it doesn't help you

and it just makes things worse

come back to me

and so David's saying

yes

I want to hear joy

and gladness again

that season of me

covering up

was just so

just devastating

for my soul

I just want to

be experiencing

the joy and gladness again

let the bones

that you have broken

rejoice

again

you realize

when we confess

it's the freedom

that comes from it

that it's just the true joy

that he doesn't make us

feel any worse

but then he lifts us up

so why don't we do it

because we

we still have

the wrong perception

of who the father is

we think he's here

to punish us

when actually he's here

to forgive us

and to love us

and then he says this

and this is the famous one

well hide your face

from my sins

and blot out

all my iniquities

I'm going to come back

to that at the end

verse 10

create in me

a clean heart

oh God

and renew a right spirit

within me

create in me

a clean heart

oh God

and renew a right spirit

within me

this is

he's saying

hey

I need a factory reset

I need it

completely changed

this isn't just

edit your home screen

and try and tidy things up again

this is

I need to start the phone

all over again

and again

if you grew up

in the same area

as me

and you used something

like Windows 98

there was something

called disk defragmentation

yeah

yes

the older people

are just nodding

he's like

that's cool

and you just saw

the little jigsaw puzzle

for some reason

you know

that your computer

is messed up

and everything's

in the wrong place

and you press the defrag

and you just see

it just kind of like

tidying itself up

and you just feel

better for it

that's not what

David is asking for

David is saying

I need a new Mac

I need a completely new thing

because however much

I tidy

even if I use that

disk defrag

every day

the processor

is still slowing down

there is still sin

he's saying

I need a new one

renew a right spirit

within me

so he's not saying

hey

stop me from doing

that thing again

stop me from taking

someone else's wife again

stop me from lusting

after another woman

he's not saying that

he's saying

renew a right spirit

within me

change me from the

inside out

is what he's saying

this isn't behavior

modification

this is heart transformation

and now he starts

talking about the Holy Spirit

and he brings in

the Holy Spirit

because this is the

same Holy Spirit

in Genesis 1

that breathes life

into the world

this is the same

Holy Spirit

who looks at the

pile of dry bones

Ezekiel 37

and breathes it to life

it's the same one

as chapter 36

in Ezekiel

where actually

he removes your heart

of stone

and gives you

a heart of flesh

he's saying

that's all I want

I need that

I need a complete reset

I need everything

to be new

again

cast me not away

from your presence

and take not your

Holy Spirit

from me

I just want to be

close to you

I realize that my sin

what it did

as well

as well

as hurt other people

and caused destruction

and has consequences

it took me away

from you

he's probably got

Saul's experience

ringing in his ears

here

before he was king

how he even met Saul

was because the Holy Spirit

departed from Saul

do you remember that

and Saul was just a mess

and then they brought

this young man

to come and play him

the harp

to kind of calm him down

and he's saying

oh man

I've seen what it's like

when the Holy Spirit

leaves the king

I do not want that

God I want you

can you bring me

close to you again

something you can have to

notice about all of this

when David's asking for action

he's not asking for action

for himself

he's not saying

God tell me what to do

tell me how to make this right

one key thing about confession

is that it's not what we can do

to make things right

it's what God can do

that actually he's the one

who's going to give us

the new heart

it's him that's going to renew

the right spirit within us

so as a sinner

all we actually have to do

the only requirement

that the Bible tells us

is open up your hands

and open up your heart

and say create in me

a clean heart oh God

and renew a right spirit within me

cast me not away

from your presence

take not your Holy Spirit

from me

I just want you

only you can make this right

no one else

not even me

restore to me

the joy of your salvation

and uphold me

with a willing spirit

Lord I want this

have you been there

where you're just about to sin

you're like

God I

I really don't want to do this

I can't help it

I want to do it

or I know what I should do

but I can't do it

I just want that willing spirit

well you're in good company there

Romans 7

Paul says hey

that's me

what I know I should do

I don't do

and what I don't do

I should do

like Paul says that

what a wretched man I am

Jesus himself said

my spirit is willing

but my flesh is weak

uphold me with a willing spirit

restore to me

the joy of your salvation

do you know when you sin

do you know when I sin

it's because I've lost

the joy of my salvation

it's because I've lost sight of God

because I've lost sight

of how good he is

I've lost sight of how good he is to me

and when I lose sight

of how good he is to me

that's when I sin

David's saying

hey I sinned

because I completely

took my eyes off you

I took some time off work

and ended up leading me

to take my eyes off you

and that's what led me

down this road

and I forgot what it means

to be joy

filled with joy

because of what you did God

because of who you are

so he goes to him

and he goes

God

please let me

have that joy

back again

and then there's

a final part

see I'm two thirds

of the way through

just going through the Bible

how fun is that

he turns and he says

then I will teach transgressors

your ways

and sinners will return to you

so first he acknowledges

what he did

and after that

he then asks for action

and says

God can you do this

and then he goes

hey

do this for me

and I won't shut up

about what you've done for me

see when you confess your sins

when you

when you acknowledge what they are

when you articulate

what they are

when you share what they are

when you ask for action

from God

the next thing that you can do

is you can't help but announce

what he's done for you

that freedom

that's what comes in

he say hey

I am now qualified

to give a master class

in failure

I've done everything

murder

lust

deceit

everything

I've done it all

and here I am

and what I want to do now

is I want to tell people

about it

I hope that's what

separates us

as people in this world

that we are people

who are willing to acknowledge

that we mess up

we screw up

we make mistakes

that we share with the one

who actually helped

covered all those things

for us

and what he did

and then we just don't

stop talking about it

he says look

then I will teach

transgressors your ways

and sinners will return to you

deliver me from

but guiltiness

of God

of God

of my salvation

and my tongue

will sing aloud

of your righteousness

Lord open my lips

he's just saying

I will just keep

sharing about it

what is that

that is just the good news

that we

the bad news is

that we are dead

in our trespasses

and sins

that we were following

the course of this world

following the prince

of the power of the air

carrying out the desires

of our flesh

and by nature

children of wrath

but God

but God

but God

rich in mercy

because of the great love

which he had for us

made us alive together

if we truly believe

that passage

in Ephesians 2

we would not shut up

about it

every time

our friend

our family

our colleague

makes a mistake

I'd be right there

next to him

going

hey don't worry

you're a screw up

but so am I

but let me tell you

about Jesus

that's what David

is saying here

that's what we all

should be doing here

whenever we have

people around us

we're going

hey

you're bad

I'm bad

but tell you what

there's one who isn't bad

do we have that

kind of spirit

and I think you can

only have that kind

of spirit

when you go through

confession

Luke 7

talks about

those who are

forgiven much

love much

if you sit here

right now

and go

well James

I can't

I mean

I can't even think of

what I'm

what I've done wrong

I don't know

if I have anything

to confess

that just tells me

that actually

we've become so numb

to our own

self-centeredness

our own selfish desires

that we don't even

the only entry

requirement

to the kingdom

of God

seems to be

humility

seems to be

just this repentant

heart going

God

I am

messed up

and how do you

how do you get

through that

without confession

it's us going to God

and saying

God I am so

so

sorry

Henry Nouwen

says this

confession is the

way to freedom

it breaks the chains

of self-deception

and invites God's light

into our darkness

and you see

the moment

that confession

happens

that change

happens

man there is

transformation

Peter denied

Jesus three times

ends up being the one

that leads the church

Paul

goes around

killing Christians

and then ends up

making Christians

because of the

transformation

and they become

people who

announce

this good news

as well

and that carries

on here

verse 16

for you will not

delight in sacrifice

or I would give it

you will not be

pleased with the

burnt offering

have you done that

when you've messed up

and you've sinned

the next thing

you try and make up

for it

by doing lots

of different good things

oh man I'm such a sinner

you know what

I'm just going to

open up my Bible now

and then you

and then you read

Leviticus

and you're like

okay that didn't help

I think okay okay

I'm saying I need

to just

I need to

I just do it

go to church

I'll sit there

and I'll just

that'll help me feel better

or maybe I'll go

and do this good work