Partner or Problem? || Pastor Adam Mesa

Welcome to the ALC Podcast. Here at ALC, we seek the loss,

teach the found, and send the disciples. We truly hope you're encouraged by

this week's message. Well, hey, let's dig in today and see where

we're at. You could tell there's no Taylor Swift fans in here, which

is great and I'm good with that, Thank the Lord. All right,

let's jump in today. If you're with us, last week, we were

talking about marriage and we likened it and I'm gonna catch us up because we're

gonna build on this. And so if many of you remember this from last

week, and if you did it, that's okay. We're gonna catch up

really quick. We talked about two types of marriages that exist. You have

a contract marriage that exists, and what that is is that's a man and

a woman who come together and basically build a contract, say hey, let's

let's let let's be in a relationship together. And we often see in contracts

today, people are always trying to get out of contracts. We want to

get out least contracts. We want to get out of apartment contracts. We

contracts often are meant, hey, how can I get out of this?

Or how can I cheat the system? And so the world standard kind of

just views marriage as a whole, as just a man and woman coming together,

kind of doing a handshake deal and saying, let's live a life together

until maybe we don't want to live a life together anymore, or we do

want to live a life together. But either way, they view it as

just between them and each other. Whereas a godly standard, the way that

God intended marriage to be is not a contract, but rather a covenant.

And so we see that God desires us for him to be at the top

of this marriage relationship. Where God is the foundational beginning, He's the top,

and where you and I are part of this relationship with God. It's

not just between me and my spouse. It's between me and my spouse and

the Lord and God is above our marriage. So therefore it's a covenant.

It's not a contract. It's something deeper than that. So this is where

we left off last week, but this isn't where it ends. The goal

of a Christian marriage that serves God, loves God, and pursues God in

their marriage. The goal in marriage. Last week we talked about corporately,

how you and your spouse are called to make a covenant together. So we

talked about you each other, the each other, the yes in each other.

But this week what we're gonna talk about is the individual. What am

I called to play in my part in the marriage. What's the individual calling?

Not just the corporate calling of me and my spouse. So the goal

of a covenant with God is that in my relationship with God, I am

called to get closer to God, and so I'm meant to get closer to

Him and clind closer. So in my relationship with the Lord, if I

begin to get closer with God and then my wife holds that responsibility herself and

she gets closer to God, guess what happens? Her and I will be

closer. The closer that I am individually get to the Lord, and the

closer she individually gets to the Lord, the closer we become together. So

part of the focus isn't just how do we find each other? So so

how do we find God within each other? And how do I individually responsible

for seeking God? And here's the thing. You may be in a place

where maybe you have grown with your relationship with God, and maybe your spouse

hasn't which that can happen, and what happens then what do I do then,

Pastor, Well, the reality is is as you get closer to God,

guess what. Your spouse may not be with you, but you are

with God. And as you're closer to God, God will sustain you.

The Lord will sustain you, and so the Lord will carry you through those

things. But what we see often with couples is when the spouse isn't matching

that strive, then what happens is ultimately either the other spouse either stagnates in

their relationship with God because they start to lose faith, or are they even

at times lower themselves to that same standard and they think to themselves, if

that's the way you're gonna play bald, then that's the way that all play

ball. You may be here and you may say, Pastor, Adam,

I'm single. What do I do? Then? Well, hey, guess

what, You're in a great opportunity. You just have to worry about yourself.

You don't have to get on the same page with your spouse or anyone

else. You get to just pursue God independently on your own, which we'll

talk about in a few moments. That's a beautiful thing. I mean,

I'm not responsible for my spouse. No, you're not responsible for yourself when

you're single, But when you get married, now you both are responsible and

you can miss each other if you're both not striving for God. So a

covenant is not just the fact that me and my spouse call ourselves Christians or

we go to church on Sundays. It's the point that we individually are pursuing

the Lord. We pursue God. That's the covenant. We both grow in

our relationship with God. So let's see why Jesus warns Us about Lat's wife.

Why does that matter today? Why does it matter that Jesus as he's

talking about one day? And we see it in the Book of Relationship Revelations.

What we read in Luke seventeen is Jesus giving us the reality that one

day he will return like a thief in the night. We call it the

rapture. You and I still wait for Jesus to return. That's why the

Bible consistently tells us to be ready, get ready, because Jesus will return,

and he's not gonna give you a heads up, And so you want

to make sure you're right with the Lord at all times. So that's what

Jesus is talking about. He's saying, listen, I'm gonna return in every

moment, and so make sure you're not trying to take a bunch of stuff

with you to the Kingdom of God. Whatever it is you need to let

go of, whatever it is you need to be healed of, whatever it

is you need to be set free of whatever addictions you have, whatever love

of materialism you have. Jesus says, cut it loose. He says,

because I'm gonna come, and if you love those things, you're not going

to be able to bring them with you. So then he gives us a

parallel because the Book of Revelations likens jesus relationship with you and I as if

it was a marriage. So the beautiful thing is we can look at marriage

terms that Jesus talks about the Kingdom of God and we can see them and

understand them in a physical marriage. So when Jesus says, remember Lot's wife,

we have to learn how did Lot's wife implicate lots marriage? What can

we learn from what can we see in the actions that they did? And

so many of us may or may not know the story of Sodom and Gomorrah.

But we know in the days of the Book of Genesis that there was

a land region in Israel which was then Canaan, called Sodom and Gomorrah,

and it was a wicked city. They had given themselves to all types of

sexual perversion, they had given themselves to all types of murdering, thieving.

It was just a complete mess where that was from. So God got fed

up. He said, this society is not benefiting the land. There is

going to be a sulfur storm that's gonna come and it's gonna destroy the whole

town. Well, Abraham knew that his nephew lived there. So Abraham pleaded

with the Lord, Lord, if there are one hundred righteous people, will

you save the city? He said yeah, but there weren't a hundred righteous

people. If there's fifty righteous people, will you save the city. Lord

said yes, but there weren't fifty righteous people. So they kept going and

going till finally he just brings up his nephew, and God says, your

nephew is righteous, but he won't be able to save the city. What

I'll do is I'll save his family. I'll save him, save him and

I'll save his family. So two angels come into the city and they're in

disguise, and they asked to be hosted by Lot, and Lot holtes them.

He's showing his righteous heart, his care for the stranger, his care

for the community. And the neighbors come and they knock and they said,

hey, give us these two strangers so that we may have our way with

them. And so what happens in that moment Lot stands up for them.

He says, absolutely not, they're under my care. They're under my home,

which shows his heart and respect for God's people, the stranger that he's

looking after. So here's where we get to the picture. Because of that,

God says, okay, Lot, you can now escape. I'm gonna

save and redeem your entire family. The only caveat is you have to leave

Sodom and Gomorrah. This is a reflection of our own life, the Christ's

desire to save you and I and redeem us. But the call of repentance

is I leave where I came from. That's what this is. That's what

this represents. So I want you to see the story, how's it plays

out, and why we need to remember Lot's wife, what happens to Lot's

wife. It says, behold, this is a Lot speaking. Behold,

your servant has what found favor in your sighte wow. We've been talking about

that all year, and you have shown me great kindness in saving my life.

But I cannot escape to the hills lest the disaster overtake me and I

die. Behold, the city is near enough to flee to, and it

is a little one. Let me escape there, is it not a little

one? And my life will be saved. He said to him, Behold,

this is the Lord. I grant you this favor, also that I

will not overthrow the city of which you have spoken. Escape there quickly,

for I can do nothing till either you arrived there. Therefore the name of

the city was called Zoar. The sun had risen on the earth when Lot

came to Zoarm. Then the Lord reigned on Sodom, and Gomorah's sulfur and

fire from the Lord out of heaven, and he overthrew those cities and all

of the valley, and all of the inhabitants of those cities, and what

grew on the ground. But Lot's wife behind him looked back, and she

became a pillar of salt. What does that mean? Well, the reality

was in her life, God just redeemed her entire family, and instead of

moving forward with God's mercy and grace, she decided to look back into the

past. What she was leaving now. Remember, there's nothing good about this

city. There was nothing good happening in this city. And as she's fleeing,

she looks back and she says, Oh, I'm really gonna miss that

season of my life. Man, I'm really gonna miss those friends, the

ones you got drunk with on Friday night, Lot's wife, the ones that

you woke up on the side of an alley on a Tuesday you didn't remember.

You're gonna You're missing those friends. You're missing those guys, You're missing

those people. So what happens is God has shown her so much mercy that

she gets her husband, she gets her children, and on her way out

she turns around. It's like, Oh, I love that place and more

than anything, what would have happened. It's not that she would have turned

into a pillar assault in that moment. It's that, in her pause,

the family would have left her behind and she would have been caught up with

the destruction. So a lot of times in our marriage we can find ourselves

getting caught up in destruction because why we keep looking back in the past.

We keep looking back, Well, you remember when you or you remember when

it was, or I used to date someone more like blank, or you're

not mind like, you're just like your mom, or you're just like your

dad. What do we do we start looking to the past. You know,

me and my wife, I've been in Israel many times. We usually

take our church on an annual pilgrimage to Israel for those that want to join.

And so just a couple of years ago we went. We took a

group and we just so happened a mountain bike in Sodom and Gamoor. So

I've been to Saltom Ngamore. This is what it looks like. It looks

like Mars. That mountain behind us, there's dirt around it, but if

you just brushed the dirt off, it's entire mountains of salt, like it's

just raw salt, and it goes for miles. Just you could literally walk

up to the mountain, take a pic, chip it and put the salt

rock in your mouth. Whole that whole rock behind you, that whole mountain

is all salt, and it goes for miles. It rained down so hot

and so heavy that it changed the mineral composition of the entire land region.

And so when the Bible says she turned into a pillar of salt, it

wasn't like you think of movies where someone just freezes and their form becomes something.

It's that she got caught up in the firestorm and the whole region became

salt. Later on, they just used the entire region as a training opportunity

of Lot's wife, and they would say that whole region is what signifies going

back to your past, looking back to your past, hanging on to your

past. So what does the Lord expect to us in a great relationship and

a great marriage is getting to a place where I refrain from looking back to

the past. It's where I stop turning back and thinking about how much I

miss something of a season that's gonna catch me up and that's gonna pull me

away from the Lord. And so what happens is today we just got three

brief points we're gonna look at. And so this is through what it was

with Lot, because just imagine this Lot just lost his wife. He went

through all that trouble for her to leave the house for a little bit and

say, you know what, Lot, I'm sure gonna miss it over there.

I'll catch up with you guys later. Their kids just lost their mother

because she missed the past. Everybody loses in this relationship because one person wanted

to hang on to the past. So this statement that we see this has

nothing to do with the marriage, has everything to do with the individual and

the individual responsibility to leave sodom and gomorrah. I don't know what your sodom

is. I don't know what your gomorh is. I don't know if it's

hay, I don't know if it's unforgiveness. I don't know if it's addiction.

I don't know if it's corruption. I know what it is. But

in order to have a sustained relationship with the Lord, we have to be

willing to say God, I cannot return to this place. That's why Jesus

says, Remember Lot's wife. He says, hey, listen, you need

freedom from all these things that are corrupting her heart, because when I come,

those chains need to be broken. You can't be willing to hang out

and hang on a saying so he says, the reality is there will be

two people in a room, and one will be there and one will be

taken up with me. He's given us the reality that not everyone wants to

leave sodom. Not everyone wants to do that. And so today we can

see through just three simple points in a great marriage. My individual responsibility is

this. First, what you need is a partner and not a problem.

A great marriage is you need a partner, not a problem. I'll tell

you this. If you're single and dating, you need a partner, not

a project. Okay, well, I mean we and you could just keep

adding peace. You need a partner and not a pitfall, You need a

You could just you need a partner and not a pickle you like. You

could just keep going with these. But the but the main one that matters

is a great marriage is a partnership that commits together to not be a problem

to one another, to not be the problem in the relationship. So great

marriage says God, I ain't gonna be the problem. I'm gonna be a

partner. You may say, pastor on it is that even to say that

I can't be a problem and I need to be a partner. Actually,

yes, The book of Malachi talks about it. Here's what it talks about

Malachi, chapter two, verses thirteen to fifteen. It says, in this

thing, the Lord is speaking to Judah because Judah is having some issues in

his personal relationship with God. Okay, God is not moving like he used

to in his life. And so he says, and this second thing you

do, this is a word of the Lord to Judah. You cover the

Lord's altar with tears and weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering,

and what accepts it with favor from your hand. There's favor again.

But you say, why doesn't he? God doesn't accept my worship, He

doesn't accept my prayers, he doesn't accept my christ Why? Hells to And

the Lord says this, why does he not? Because the Lord was witness

between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless.

You have no faith in your wife, though she is what, your

companion, your partner, and what by your covenant? He reminds him,

Judah, you made that covenant. I didn't forced you to marry her.

You made that covenant. You chose to do it. So he says,

that's what you said yes to, And he says, did he not make

them one with a portion of spirit in their union? And what was the

one God seeking godly offspring? So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let

none of you be faith faithless to the wife of your youth. He tells

Judah, the Lord has no favor on you right now because you have forsaken

your wife and the love of your wife, and you no longer have faith

in your wife. So he says, So you wonder when you come to

church and you cry, and you lift your hands and you bege and you

plead, and the Lord says, there's nothing I can do because you have

forsaken your covenant. And then he reminds him when you guys stood at that

covenant alter and said yes, two became one. So when God looks at

you and I, if you're married, when God looks at you and I,

he checks your spouse as much as he checks you out, and he

checks how you're loving your spouse. He checks how you are caring for your

spouse. To decide the type of favor that he's gonna show you. You

may say, pastor Adam, I'm single. Does that mean that God can't

favor me until I get married. No, that just means you're responsible for

yourself. That just means you got one person to worry about when it comes

to the favor with God. So get you right, and God's gonna get

you right. But the moment you get married, God says, oh,

I don't see two, I see one. We're not talking about an unbeliever.

We're talking about two Christians together. So the Lord is saying, I'm

looking at how you guys love each other. I'm looking at how you guys

speak to each other. I'm looking at how much faith you have towards each

other. I'm looking at how much care you have towards your marriage bed,

I'm looking at how much care you have towards one another. And then the

Lord says, and that is one of my determining factors on the type of

favor that I'm gonna show you. So therefore I would be going to my

wife tonight and saying, Babe, we got to get in a partnership because

we are missing each other, and we got this prayer list we've been asking

for the Lord. Maybe there are some things why this isn't coming to a

reality because you and I aren't right. But before you look at your spouse

and say so, here's a list I made for you on how you can

fix yourself, you gotta first say Lord. Because this was an individual statement

to Judah. He didn't talk about his wife. He said, Judah,

you too have lost faith in your wife. So weep and cry and more

and all you want. But until you get this, the favor isn't going

to be there. So God does favor marriages. God favors any individual that's

coming together and striving after him. So that's why I'm saying, man,

I gotta be a great partner in this relationship. I gotta be a great

companion to my spouse, not a problem, not a project, but a

great partner. My wife recently encouraged me with something like that. About a

week and a half ago, her and I were going to a pastor's gathering

in Mexico. And so We're in this pastor's gathering in Mexico, and I'm

doing what anyone else would do. I have AirPods in my ears, and

I'm on my phone, just scrolling through my phone, and so I'm just

sitting there and all of a sudden, I just see my wife turn around

and she just starts praying for someone. But out of nowhere, I didn't

really I didn't hear anything at all. And so what happened was is there

was three stewarts. There was one steward and two stewardess is who came and

sat next to my wife, and the woman directly next to my wife was

crying profusely to her friends. The other stewardess they're actually gonna be taking care

of us on our flight, and so they're crying like. The woman's weeping

like uncontrollably, and I guess what she's saying. I find this out later

on. What she's telling her friends is my husband lost his job two months

ago, and I just got a call as I drove up that my mom

just went terminal and she could die at any moment. So this woman's just,

I mean, she just irately crying. She's at work, but they're

waiting for the plane to dp plane so that they can get on the plane

and get ready for us. So there they are sitting next to my wife

and she's just weeping and weeping and weeping and telling her friends. And so

finally my wife turns around and she goes we gotta pray about this right now.

And the woman's like, huh oh. She's like, I'm sorry if

I'm being nosy, but we gotta go to prayer right now about your husband

and about your mother. And so the woman's like, okay, So there

actually is in a public space, honestly making me feel very uncomfortable, and

just I'm much more timid than I seem and so and so I'm very uncomfortable.

I'm bold with friends, but I'm not bold with strangers. So I'm

really sitting there. I'm like, what is my wife doing right now?

Because if you hear Ashley pray, she doesn't do quiet prayers. So she's

Lord, we've were built in to me right now, and we've And then

you see this, there's a black woman on the other side of the steward

who's working too, and she starts going shunning at it a book. Both

fuck up, but you know she and I and I and I and then

so they're like they're having church and I'm sitting there and I'm honestly very uncomfy

at the moment. I like, so the mom, I mean, there,

for five minutes, they're having church. Okay, they're praying and praying.

The woman's like, oh, she stops crying, thank you so much.

I needed Actually, actually don't even know if this woman knows Jesus at

all. She just this is the we got to commit it. And so

she's imparting something in her encouraged. And so the woman gets up, said,

thank you so much. That's what's gonna get me through my shift.

And so she walks away because they said it's time, you know, stewardess

come on the ship or come on the plane, and so they go on

it. And so I look at Ashley. I take the AirPods out,

and I was like, what just happened? Because they weren't talking at all

with each other. And then Ashley tells me the story, and I go,

oh, okay. In my head, I'm thinking, should I have

been in agreement, like praying in agreement with that? I don't. I

didn't really know what was going on, and so then in the moment,

I'm thinking, dang, I should have. I should have been more aware

of what's happening around me and not so disconnected at what people are going through

around me. Fast forward five days later, we're taking a bus back to

the airport, remember I was going to a pastor's conference. And so the

way it was is there were some pastors on that plane on the way there,

but we didn't know them. We didn't we everyone to us like they

were just strangers. And so a pastor of a very great church and a

very prominent church in Orange County, while we're on the bus headed to the

airplane, he walks up to my wife and he says, I just want

you to recognize five days ago, I saw you pray for that stewardess.

I was watching the whole thing, and he said, the thing that convicted

me the most was before you even started praying, the Holy Spirit told me

to pray for her, and I didn't. He said, I didn't do

it. And I'm looking at him and I said, brother, I didn't

do it either. And we're the ones preaching the Bible every week, and

so we're encouraging each other at our failure to be engaged for someone else.

But he looked at Ashley and he said, thank you for doing it,

because if you didn't, that would have ate me up all week for my

disobedience to the Holy Spirit on what God was telling me to do. And

he said, so when you did it, I said, thank you Lord

that where I couldn't do it, I couldn't. I was too afraid to

her, didn't want to be uncomfortable that another believer stepped in and did it

for me. Man, I thought to myself, Man, thank God that

me and my wife are in partnership, because where I might have failed,

God was like, it's okay, Adam, you're one. Your wife was

obedient even though you weren't. You're gonna be all right. You still got

favor. And so here's the thing. You may say, Oh, well,

that's nice. She's a leader in the church. I'm telling y'all,

when I married this woman nine years ago, she gave more middle fingers than

she did prayer in a given year. Okay, okay. There were more

curse words that came out of her mouth than prayer words nine years ago.

So it ain't the fact that she just woke up out of heaven one day.

It's the fact that me and her are trying our best to get closer

to God individually as best as we can. And where I may be disobedient,

my wife is being obedient. And where she may fall, I may

stand to the occasion that is a great partnership. And you may look at

that and say, I don't know how me and my wife can get there.

It's one step forward. It's one step forward. It doesn't happen overnight.

It's just a commitment to say, God, I'm gonna be a great

partner in this marriage. I'm not gonna be a problem. And you may

be single today and you may say, okay, well what I do.

It means you start praying for people in the airport. You start. You

don't gotta worry about your spouse nudging you or in the middle you just in

target you could pray for someone. You have Victoria gardens. You can pray

for someone. You can encourage anyone wherever you're at here. Here's the second

point is this is your past does not determine your promise. Your past is

the past, and it does not determine whether the Lord can heal you,

favor you, show you mercy, or move in your life. Lot lived

in Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot was a righteous man. So God looked at

the individual of Lot, and he looked at his family, and he said,

regardless of what was in the past, the Bible doesn't tell us if

and his wife ever engaged in any of the things that happened in Sodom and

Gamor. What it does tell us is through their righteous act of wanting to

protect individuals, God said, that's worthy of bringing them out of Sodom Angamorrah.

And so therefore our past stays in the past, and we believe God

has a promise. That's the promise Jesus gave. He said, if you're

willing to lose your life, let go of it all, you can gain

a new life. So sometimes you have to say, God, all this

stuff in my marriage or my relationship, I'm losing that life, that life's

gone. I'm gonna step into a new person. I'm gonna fully cling to

you, and I'm gonna trust you that you have a promise in my life

regardless of my past. This past Wednesday, we had our mass baptism.

We had over one hundred and ninety people get baptized across two campuses. So

beautiful. We love, we love when the Lord does it. We always

do these impromptu baptisms where we in by anyone that's here in the crowd that

if you want to give your life to Christ and be baptized, with your

clothes on, come on down. And so many people came up. One

in particular was a man tattoos all over his face. And if you know,

there's music going on, and so as best as I heard him,

he came up and I could just see him. He had a lot of

emotion, and you could tell he had been through some things and so on.

I just looked at him and I said, sir, today is a

fresh start. It's a new beginning. You don't have to look back anymore.

And he looked at me and he said, I was in prison yesterday

and I'm in the pool today. I'm in here today. Regardless of the

past, regardless regardless of your past. You in prison yesterday, Man,

you got a promise today. You have a new purpose today. It didn't

matter what yesterday looks like. It doesn't matter what happened last week or last

year. There is newness in the Lord. There's renewing God. You and

I just have to be will not be Likelt's white. That's why Jesus says,

remember her, don't look back. Don't look back. You want God

to do a new thing, don't look back. Isaiah says that Isaiah forty

three eighteen. Remember not the former things, nor consider the old things of

old. Behold, I'm doing a new thing. Now it springs forth.

Do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and

rivers in the desert. God will and can do a new thing. You

and I just have to say, I'm not going back. I don't know

what your prison looks like today, but you just got to say, I'm

not going back. I'm not going back. I'm not going back. About

four years ago in twenty twenty February of twenty twenty, actually was one month

before kind of our lockdown, but we were helping in a project in Amsterdam.

And so the project in Amsterdam is we are trying to get a guy

who built a real boat. It was a replica of Noah's Arc and so

we were helping them talk about how they can get funding and get it to

Israel. The goal was to get a boat that looks like Noah's Ark from

Amsterdam to Israel to create a museum about Noah. And so that was the

goal. So I flew down there and we filmed some interviews and stuff like

that. And while I was there, because I just brought one person with

the church with me. We had to do a rental car and we're there

for about four and a half days, five days, and so I'm driving

everywhere in Amsterdam. The place where shooting was like three hours away, and

so we're all over in Amsterdam. And just so you know, I don't

speak their language at all, and so they had signs all over in Amsterdam.

They had these signs that I couldn't read. And I think we have

a picture of it. So they had these signs everywhere, right, and

all the words are in their language. So when I'm driving, I'm just

like, we'll figure it out, you know. So as long as I'm

going the right way with traffic, I'll be okay. So that's all I

was doing, And so i'd look at all these signs, I'd have no

idea what they meant. After the five day trip about it. Four weeks

later, I get a letter in the mail and I had accumulated over two

hundred traffic fines while I was at Amsterdam. Two hundred. The fines were

in the thousands of dollars, thousands of dollars running, you know, running

stop signs that I didn't know were stop signs, and you know, the

miles were in kilometers, and so I'm you know, pushing other mileages and

stuff like that and so and in Europe they have cameras everywhere, so they

just caught me left and right, left and right, left and right.

And so then I go, oh, my gosh, I gotta pay this

bill. And then and then I look at the bottom and I said,

it says when you return to Amsterdam, these fines must be paid. And

before you can ever rent a car in Amsterdam again, these fines will have

to be paid. And I said, well that's that we ain't never going

to Amsterdam again. That town will never see my face ever again, never,

never again. I'm just saying, we pay these fines. I say,

looks like your boy will never be a Netherlands for the rest of his

life, nor will I be renting a car in the Netherlands for the rest

of my life. But I guess what, the moment I go back to

that town, I have to pay some fines. And so if you want

to avoid the fines, you can't go back. You can't go back.

If you want to avoid the implications of those fines, you can't go back.

Listen, God can redeem your past. He can give you a promise,

but you got to get healed. You have to be delivered. You

have to walk in freedom. Stop revisiting your past, fines. Don't revisit

your past, because in our marriage we think to ourselves, all married,

but I don't know why I'm going through these things. You're bringing your past

with you. You're bringing it up to your wife or your husband. You're

still addicted to things, You're still holding onto things. Your mind is still

wandering, so you haven't walked in freedom. You haven't been delivered. So

you're revisiting the past and you're going God do a miracle, and he's like,

you've been faithless. So faith leaves the past behind. And there's some

steps you could walk towards freedom. You know, we have Forward here at

our church. That happens. We're in the middle of it right now.

Forward walks through deliverance. You could walk to any person ever at the front

of our altar from our prayer team and tell them, hey, I need

deliverance for something, and you authentically bring it up. There are many ways

that you can find freedom, but you have to find it. I'll give

you the last point this and we'll close. Last point is this, you

married a person, not people. You know, Lot's wife, she was

looking back at all the people that she wasn't gonna be with anymore, all

the relationships, all the places, all of the people, all of the

things. And when you and I said yes to a relationship, we said

yes to a person, not people. Say yes to a person, not

people. There was a study that was done, and I don't want you

to pay too much attention to the front side. I want you to pay

attention to the backside. But there was a study that was done that said

this, couples who have friends who divorce have a seventy five percent increase in

the risk of their own marriage ending. Even couples with two degrees of separation

from divorce still have a thirty three percent greater risk. Why is that,

Well, because when your friends starts divorce, why are you guys getting divorced

because my spouse does this, my spouse does this, or our marriage is

like this. And then they go, well, mine's kind of like that

too. Maybe I should start looking into this. Maybe I was walking in

forgiveness, but yeah, now that I see someone being, you know,

not forgiving about it, maybe I don't have to be forgiving about it,

or maybe I don't have to put up with this, And so then what

happened was so because of this Lenk, some sociologists believe divorce is a social

contagion, that divorce actually forced multiplies. When people surround each other who are

in a divorce, is not that they're finding healing from divorce. They just

keep feeding into it. And so what happens is it was then concluded,

here's the last part. This is why I want you to pay attention to

it was then concluded how impactful getting around a healthy marriage? What that can

do for your marriage? So if negative divorce not saying there aren't right reasons

for a divorce, there are, but when you're surrounding yourself around it,

and we see the majority of reasons why people get divorces is not because of

legitimate reasons. It's because we say we fell out of love, or we're

not connected anymore, this or that and so, or we don't communicate.

Those are things that everyone can make better and with the Lord, you can

really make better. And so what happens is and the statistics don't help for

second and third marriage is because if you don't fix yourself, the marriage can't

be fixed. And if you can't relinquish it more importantly to the Lord,

then the Lord can't do anything. And so then it was concluded that if

being around negative divorce can be an impact negative impact on your marriag marriage,

then how much more so could a positive marriage impact your relationship. And so

for us, that's why we have neighborhood groups, and we were in neighborhood

group season right now, and there are a lot of marriage neighborhood groups right

right now. You can go on our website and you can find it on

the connectab But that's why it's so important not to get around perfect marriages,

but committed marriages who are wanting to see God active in their life. That

doesn't mean you don't get friends where it don't work out or whatever it is,

but it means God, I'm gonna surround myselves around other married couples who

are trying to hold the covenant a marriage, not break the contract of marriage

as fast as possible. And so if you get around healthy relationships, guess

what, You'll begin to see health in your relationship. And so we have

to remember in the same way you married a person, not people. You

have to realize, and I have to realize how much negative people can impact

our marriage and negative relationships can impact our marriage. So therefore I have to

consistently remind myself, Lord, I married a person. I didn't marry a

couple that looks on Instagram or TikTok that looks nice. I don't look at

that and say, oh, well, I wish my wife did what was

on this TikTok that I saw, or I wish my husband was more like

this. To they make money off of you watching that, you realize that

right the moment they hit stop hitting record, they both changing their to pajamas

and they get they go in separate rooms from each other, and they go

back to their regular life, not the TikTok life. But we look at

that and we all se that that's a relationship. That's husband goals, that's

boyfriend goals, and you just they laughing their way to the bank. So

what we gotta recognize, Man, I said yes to this relationship. So

I think it's important as couples, and we're gonna close with this that we

regularly make a confession to each other. And so if you're married, here

today and even if you're single, you can write this confession down. But

I encourage you with you and your spouse as you look at you individually this

weekend, but also to say, you know what me as a partner,

I'm to come to my marriage and I'm gonna make a commitment a partnership to

my spouse. And here's what that confession would look like. And you can

take a picture of the screen, or you can go back on YouTube and

screenshot it, but here's what it looks like. You won't be able to

write it down as fast as you hope, so more likely if you want

to take a picture of it, you can, or the team could probably

put it on our social media later. So here's what you want to say,

is you want to get with your spouse and you want to say this

as partners in this life of love, I would put mine in Ashley's name.

Adam and Ashley commit to honoring God's covenant in our marriage journey. Our

vision is to create a home filled with grace where God's presence is evident in

our daily lives and interactions. We seek to prioritize our relationship with God above

all else, nurturing our spiritual connection through prayer, scripture, study, and

fellowship with other believers. Together, we aspire to embody the fruits of the

spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

gentleness, and self control in our marriage and in our family life.

Our marriage will be characterized by humility, transparency, and a commitment to growth.

As we journey together through life's joys and trials, we envision a legacy

of faithfulness and perseverance, inspiring future generations to follow God's design for marriage and

experience the blessings of unity and covenant of love. So I encourage you that

as you maybe took a picture you want to go back on YouTube, I

encourage you sit down with your spouse on a kitchen table tonight, sit down

somewhere and just pull that up and you and her you read it together at

the same time. And you say you can however you want to language it.

But you say, I'm not going to be a problem. I want

to be a partner in this. I want to see the Lord move in

our marriage. And if you're not married today, you can read that for

yourself, because that's a same commitment you can make, because it's far more

important for the individual to live up to that commitment than it is for both

of you to live up your others. Your spouse is responsible for themselves and

you're responsible for your spouse. You know, we hate that old adage.

Marriage is fifty to fifty as garbage. Marriage is one hundred and one hundred,

each person giving one hundred, the other person giving one hundred and mom

mean you go fifty to fifty to fifty percent of your time. Don't feel

like you gotta do anything long waiting for your fifty to kick in, Ashley,

because I've been doing fifty for a long No, it's not how it

works since I'm giving up. Well, what if my spouse is giving twenty

and I'm giving one hundred. Stay persistent, Stay persistent. The Lord's faithful,

God's good. You get closer to God. God will hold you.

God will not leave you, and the Lord will not forsake you. Let's

pray today, God, we thank you so much for this word. Lord.

I pray that as it may encourage us, it may also challenge us

Lord to look inside, to ask some questions about ourselves, Lord, and

to trust fully in You. We thank you Jesus that regardless of what our

past looks like, or our life looks like. Now, you can always

renew us, give us fresh eyes, a fresh heart, and a fresh

spirit. Father, we thank you, Jesus that you have fully redeemed us

and set us free. I just pray today, Lord, if any of

us have to confess that and receive that today, that today may be the

day that we fully receive your son, that we receive all of your forgiveness,

all of your mercy, and we not be like Lot's wife and look

back on what will miss or what we won't be a part of anymore.

But instead we say God, I'm fully reliant on you. Thank you for

your mercy. Today, God, we give you glory in this place in

Jesus' name. Hey man, well, hey, we just have If you

hang with me for three more minutes, we'll all leave here together. But

I just want to encourage you. If you don't know Jesus Christ is your

personal Lord and savior. Many people may ask, well, what's the start

of gaining a relationship with God or what's the start of seeing God in my

life? The first start would be to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord

and savior. The only way to the father is through Jesus. And the

reason is that is because Jesus is the only one who came to this earth

born of a virgin and died on a cross for our sins. He was

perfect. He never committed a sin in his life. He was fully God

and fully man, and he allowed himself to go on the cross and brutally

being murdered killed for you and I. They would put him in a tomb,

but three days later Jesus would rise out of that tomb to show that

he is totally victorious over sin and death. The Bible says that you and

I, one day, when we're in heaven, you'll be able to see

the scars that were on Jesus's body, so that you always remember the price

that was paid to redeem us. The beauty is you don't ever have to

return back to your sin, and if you ever do sin again, you

could fully rely on Jesus that he stepped in for your sin. And the

only reason why we could do that is today in heaven, his scars are

still on him, but he's not in a tomb anymore. That tomb is

empty. He has risen and he's in heaven sitting at the right hand of

the Father. So one day you and I will stand before God, and

God the Father will look at you, and Jesus will lean over and he'll

say, they're with me. They know me and I know them, which

you and I will inherit all of God's eternal reward, which is to be

in his presence. We're all made for eternity, but more than life.

A relationship with Jesus is not just for eternity and death. A relationship with

Jesus is also freedom in this life. It's grace in this life. It's

to allow the Spirit to move in your life in a way that you could

never believe. And So if you're in this place, if you're in the

courtyard of the cafe, and you've never confessed Jesus, Christ's Lord and Savior,

you've never given your life to Christ. And I encourage you. Right

now we're gonna say a prayer out loud. So whether you're saying it for

the first time or you're gonna rededicate your life, I encourage you. Tomorrow's

not promise for anyone. Let today be the day that you say yes to

Jesus. There's nothing I can say to convince you to say yes to Jesus.

It's an act of faith. The Holy Spirit is already at work in

your life, Jesus says, I stand at the door of your heart,

and I knock. Whoever opens it and lets me in, I will come

in and I will eat with them. So Jesus makes an invitation you and

I have to open it and receive him. So as we say this prayer

out loud, I encourage all of us to say it together, but many

will say it for the first time. When we're done saying this prayer out

loud, I'm gonna count to three. And if you said that prayer for

the first time or rededicated your life, when I count to three at the

end, I want to see you shoot your hand up. Jesus died boldly

on the cross. At least we could do is boldly raise our hand and

say, Jesus, I have confessed and committed to follow you. Because all

we want to do is celebrate with you. And so would you all join

me right now wherever you're at, and say this prayer with me, Dear

Lord Jesus. In this moment, I confess my sins. I believe in

my heart that you died on the cross and you rose three days later,

And from this day forward, I commit to follow you for the rest of

my days in Jesus's name. Amen. We really hope you enjoy it the

message, and if you said yes to Jesus, we just want to say

congratulations and give you a free devotional to help you walk out your faith.

Click the link in the description or head over to grow dot Faith to download

your devotional. Oh and be sure to subscribe and share this podcast with your

friends. Thanks for listening to ALSC podcasts and we hope you tune in again.