Beyond the Letter Night || ALFC Fresh Start

Welcome to the ALC podcast. Here at ALC, we seek the loss,

teach the found, and send the disciples. We truly hope you're encouraged by

this week's message. How did everybody enjoy their table discussions? You guys enjoy

so so glad you guys are here, And it's so glad to see those

online. They were so active in the chat. And it's just so great

even those online engaging with the community, whether because you're at work late,

or you're just out of the area, or you just cann't make it in

person, so great. We got this going on in Pomona campus as well,

So it's beautiful to see that people came and really took it series to

want to have a conversation with other people in their church and in the body.

I'll get look at all these questions. Here's the thing. Here's I'll

tell you this, like we always say and are beyond the letter nights.

If for some reason we can't get to your question, you can always email

us or dm US and say, hey, this was a really important question

that I really wanted guidance for. I wasn't just asking for it to be

on stage. I was really asking because I wanted to know, And so

if that's ever the case, you can always reach out to us and we'll

we'll we'll dress it as best as possible. We have about thirty or so

written ones, or maybe fifty or so now filled blocked up with with more,

so we'll have a backlog as well. You know, I'll look through

them in a second after we do the first one, and I'll pick some

out. And as you know, unlike our normal ones people writ in,

we obviously prepared for those, and so we have formulated all these thoughts and

direct verses, but we're gonna first take the ones you guys are asking here

live today, and so those are gonna probably be answered a little bit more

rough because it's almost as if you were just asking us one on one.

You're gonna get our raw thoughts in that moment rather than something we could have

thought about for you know, fifteen to twenty men. That's before service type

of thing. And so I'm excited to dig into these with you guys.

And I really feel like, I'll say this off the bat, from the

written questions, we might do one tonight, but it seems like, for

whatever reason right now, because we were doing this all last year once a

month, but for this one it seemed like more times than ever. A

lot of people had a lot of LGBTQ questions, and so we would really

have to give the whole night to answer everyone. We probably had about thirty

questions around different ways that people are asking questions about the LGBTQ community. I'll

launch off with one that someone just wrote and submitted. But what I think

what probably happen is if you know about the podcast that happens on YouTube and

Spotify Beyond the Letter, we'll probably have to do in the next week or

so dedicate an entire episode just talking about answering those questions. Okay, there's

about thirty of them, and about fifteen of them are unique on their own,

and so I want to be able to answer them, but we couldn't.

It'd be a disservice to answer it in sixty seconds. So I just

want to give you ahead of time. We will probably in the next week

or two do a separate entire podcast on our Beyond the Letter podcast, working

through the questions that many of you guys had about thinking through that lgbt community.

I'll take a first question that someone had asked, And there's so much

more that we could say about it, but I'll just dig in on this

one right away since someone's asking it, is what is the church's stance on

transgender Are transgender people welcome here? And do you give guidance to them?

I'll say. The reason why this is probably a really relevant question as well

is because we just finished a series about God's favorite marriages, and one of

the on my personal DMS, one of the things that I got not a

lot of questions, but a significant amount of questions and people saying, hey,

Pastor Adam, you and Pastor Diego keep referencing the marriage between a husband

and a wife. Why aren't you referencing any of the other relationships and marriages

and helping people have healthy relationships in the LGBTQ lifestyle. And so that's a

very relevant and important question to ask, because you're right. In our series

on marriage, we talked about the traditional view of marriage, which is between

a man and a wife, between a male and a female, and that

was very purposeful because our church, we would be a biblically fundamental conservative church

that believes that the proper relationship that God created us for would be between a

man and a woman. God's purpose for that, and there's a reason.

And I know in the and we've done a lot of podcasts talking about this

and stuff like that, but I know in the popular setting in America that

we're in that that's a very hot topic to talk about. But the reason

and one of the things we recently updated our Growth Track book where we address

sexuality because a lot of new believers are asking that question because that's what society

is talking about right now, And so I could go way deeper into an

apologetic approach. And if you're ever wondering our church's actual stance on LGBTQ,

all you got to do is go on YouTube and you could type in Abundant

Living Family Church Hot topics homosexuality. And about four years ago we did an

entire fifty minute sermon talking about God's view of sexuality in today's age. And

so for us, our trans are our same position in that in terms of

a transgender community, we would hold to the same There are mini scriptures where

God defines the sexuality of a man and a woman, and it's not in

the sense of whether you know a man that likes to match his clothes or

interior design. That's not what God's talking about in terms of sexuality. God's

talking about sexuality in terms of identity. That's what God cares about when it

comes to sexuality. And so the reason why we would hold an approach that

God's desire is male and female is because that is God's given identity that he

has given to humanity. From the point of genesis, he created Adam and

he created Eve. He did not create in humanity a deviation from that.

Anything that would come out of that would come what we would say after the

fall. And so there is sin held intrinsically inside of that. And so

we do not hold sin on any high regard. There is not one sin

that's on a higher a sinful path than another. So a person, a

person that has sex out of a marriage is in the same placement of sin

and falling short of God's glory as the person who's in an LGBTQ lifestyle.

God doesn't say, ah, man, that person over there is far gone,

But that guy living with his girlfriend, he's like medium gone. God

doesn't. God doesn't do that. It's like we've all have fallen short and

we all need God's rates. We all need the gospel, so our approach

here and we've had them, We've come and I have family members in the

LGBT community. Many will come and we do we welcome here. The question

is are they welcome here? The answer is one hundred percent. Someone in

the LGBT community as well. They come to service on Sundays, they come

on Wednesdays, they sit in the front row, they sit in the back

row, they're in our youth ministry. It's everywhere. Just like there are

people in this room who are addicted. There are people that be addicted to

alcohol, addicted to pornography, addicted to hate. And we don't really run.

We don't say, hey, before you come into church today, when

was the last time you were drunk? When was the last time you watched

porn? That's why we need to know, because if you watched it last

night, we have a seat in the far back for you, and no,

you are welcome here. But there are degrees of confession of faith that

we have to have in order what I would say to go deeper in the

church. Because when I go deeper into the church, say serving or leading

or on staff, what I'm beginning to say is I have rejected fully my

sinful self. I'm not just talking about LGBTU lifestyle. I'm talking about Adams

womanizing. I'm talking about Adam's pornography addictions in the past. I'm talking about

Adam's desire to get blackout drunk. In order for me to lead, I've

had to say God, I'm leaving that past behind to receive you. And

so the qualifications to see God begin a move in our life is to accept

the gospel. And to accept the Gospel says I have fallen short of the

glory of God, and I need a savior named Jesus. So that person

who walks in wherever they're at in their faith, lifestyle and life cycle,

we're gonna say, hey, you're You're welcome here, and I'll go to

coffee with you, and I'll go to lunch with you and we can talk,

and I'll pray with you and I'll hug with you. But then as

we go further, I may have some deeper convictions and I will that I'll

share with you as you would probably share with me. And so that's the

short answer that I would, And so would I give someone guidance if someone

walked up to me right away and said, hey, just so you know,

which has happened before I'm in the LGBTQ lifestyle. I'd say, Okay,

what do you want to talk about? I don't know. Well,

I just want to tell you that in case you want to reject me,

I don't want to reject you. Jesus wouldn't reject you. I'm here to

talk with you. I want to love you. I want to I want

to help you understand God's perfect plan for your life. And the only way

I could do that is by having a conversation with you and loving you as

best as I can without relinquishing my own convictions. That's what I can do.

And so anyone want to put any other meat on that, No,

Okay, I will say this, Yeah, I think I think there's a

difference between acceptance and agreement. I accept you as a transgender, but I

don't agree with your lifestyle. So, as Jesus model that, he tells

us to love people where they're at, and so I think you really got

to get to that place of like seeing grace in that that you know.

I don't you know. I don't agree with your lifestyle, but I do

accept you as a person. So yeah, yeah, that's great. Thanks

question, that's great, And you may say you got you. I want

you to go deeper on it. We can in another time and we will,

or else I'd be we'd be here all night. Uh yeah, for

sure. Let's see. Let's see. I'm trying to look at these right

questions. I had it too. Well, let's do this one if and

what could reference? Someone even asked this on my Instagram yesterday. How can

you tell the difference between God's will and your own free will? How you

tell the difference between God's will and your own free will? The table is

your, guys. I think the short answer would be that it's in here

and that it matches what the word of God says. If it doesn't match

what the word of God says, then it would be something of like our

own desire. So I think that we, you know, sometimes go is

this something that I want? Or is this or am I hearing from the

Holy Spirit? Or is that just me, you know, trying to convince

myself of something to do. It's like, well, does it align with

the word of God? Does it give you peace? I think that that's

really important when you have something that comes about and it and it causes you

anxiety, and it causes you frustration. Oftentimes that's not the will of God.

The will of God is always going to be in here. And if

the first check mark would be if it has some if what you want and

it is your will, and it does not align here, then you can

just go ahead and cross that off the list because that's not going to align

with God's will. But anyone want to add anything, that's that's the that's

the intro to what you're going to talk about. No, No, I

think I think you. I think you covered really the meat of it.

You can read books and books that people have written on what's God's will for

your life? Because I think that's really what this question is, kind of

asking what's God's will and how do I differentiate between that and what's something I

want? Want? And and if you're reading you know, the right book.

A lot of times they're just saying, well, if you follow the

Bible and you know you're and you're you're not in sin, and you're you

know you're you're following God's commandments and you're really seeking after God, you have

a heart after God. It's it's really what you're doing whatever you whatever you

want because you're aligning yourself with God. That's really what the goal is is

to align your thoughts, align your desires with God through his word, through

praying to him, through seeking his spirit, through through those things. And

so what's God's will and what's your fru Well, you just hope there's alignment

there. So your desires are His desires, and so there's not really a

big math equation you have to figure out to see what's your free will?

Where does it start and where does it end? Because even in the Bible,

if you're talking about you know, where's God's sovereignty and where do I

fit in the picture, the Bible doesn't show you where those paths cross.

It never shows you where it exactly. You you connect the dots there.

You just live out your life in a godly way and things should follow that

and come after that. I hope that helps. I don't know if that

if that helps, Yeah, I think people try to make it more complicated

than it is. Right. We all have access to this Bible and we

all can read what it says, but a lot of times we get in

our own way and we try to sort of manipulate to fit what it is

that we want to do. And so if we're having to tweak and and

and and bend and all of these things, it's it's not that compliment you're

talking about. You could read all these self help book but you are.

You are seeking out something that fits into your own mold as opposed to fixing

yourself to match what the word of God says. It's not complicated. Yeah,

that's yeah, that's great. In that same vein, I'll continue with

a question because it probably has something to do with some things about God's will

and God's perspective on things. Uh. So, this person asked a question,

which maybe it's a personal question. What do you do when you feel

like your life is falling apart on every turn that you take? Or there's

a cursive word I can't read that you wrote on there, but that end

word, But what do you do when you feel like your life is falling

apart on every turn? Anyone want to give some thoughts on that which would

probably align also with that idea of will of God because we have a we

sometimes have a famous construct to say, if it feels like my life's falling

apart, then maybe I'm not in the will of God, or maybe I'm

out of God's will, or maybe I'm fully in the flesh. And you

know, then you start that wrestle season, Like the Book of Job begins

to talk about, which is this wrestle that Job has where his friends are

coming in and they're all trying to decipher why does your life suck? Why

is everything going wrong? Why have you lost everything? And everyone has an

opinion on what's going on? Right, and and that that that in that

the Book of Job is actually the historically chronologically known as the oldest book uh

in in the entire Bible. So uh, the life of Job is even

before Abraham. And so for five thousand years we have still been having that

same conversation of when things go wrong in my life, if it consistently goes

wrong, what am I doing wrong? Or what does God have against me?

That's the natural inclination that people tend to lean with and think. And

so outside of the Book of Job, what are what are what are some

thoughts you guys have on on that approach of think thinking, yeah, you

can tell me, because we're asking it in the spot. So you have

to like take a second and be like, all right, let me not

mess this up. My first thought was was hope. I thought about hope,

like anchoring your life and your hope and and Jesus and and that's what

an anchor does. Anchor stabilizes you through the storms of life, but it

also keeps you from drifting away. And so I think biblically, you know,

like anchoring my life in this hope, because hope is this confident expectation

that God will do what he does in his word and his promises are true.

And so when you're reading that question, that came to mind like,

Okay, this person maybe has to anchor his hope a little more and be

grounded in that in that in that thought of like where am I putting my

hope in? Because there's worldly hope is just wishful thinking, right, I

hope that I'm gonna get better, But godly hope is is saying I have

this confident expectation that though I go through the trials and storms and turns and

difficulty of life, that I have someone to anchor my hope in. So

that's that's my biblicult answer. And I think it was beautiful if yeah,

we could clap on that. I want to cut it off, but I

think what's beautiful it is like to what you're saying, pastor hearing, is

when you read the Book of Job. And the reason why the Book of

Job is so amazing if you never read, I encourage you to read it

is it's this story where the Book of Job, this man is successful on

all accounts. He's got great family, he's got great wife, he's got

earthly material things and wealth beyond comparison. And the adversary approaches God and he

says, listen, the only reason why this guy Job is devoted to you

is because he's getting hooked up by you. That's the like who wouldn't love

you if they had everything. And God says, well, I give you

permission. You can a short of killing him. You could do whatever you

want to do and we'll see if your thesis is true. And so that's

what happens. The adversary comes down and he does everything. He takes his

money away, he takes his family away, and he's got friends that come

around and they go, man, I know you just got a lot of

sin in your life. That's why it's happening. And we know it's not

true. He doesn't have sin in his life. I know it's because for

some reason, you haven't been honoring God in your life, and so you

haven't been sacrificing enough for God, and so God's taking it all back.

We know that's not true. So then Job begins to spend these stanzas stanzas

in the Book of Job, where now he begins to discuss with God himself.

He starts questioning things about God. He starts asking God where he's at

in things, and God almost uses this sarcasm with Job to say, oh,

yeah, I forgot, Job. Maybe you were there when I created

the heavens earth. That's why you know why I do what I do.

Oh yeah, Job, I forgot. Were you there when I created all

of the whales and all of the beasts of the field? And oh yeah,

you weren't there, Job, And so God's reminding him I have a

bigger purpose in all things. And you'll notice breakthrough happens about the second or

third of the last chapter of the Book of Job, when Job finally makes

a realization, and this is what he says, at paraphrasing, He says,

a last, Lord, everything that you do is far too big for

me to understand. You are far more involved in your creation than I ever

could be. You are far more caring and considerate than I ever could understand.

So therefore, God, my life is completely in your hands. I

will not question anymore your purpose in this world. You are who you are,

and I'm satisfied with who you are. That's immediately when God said,

now that's faith job. That's what faith is job. So therefore now I'll

put the adversary to the side, and I'll put him at baith because you've

exercised hope. Also, faith, you've exercised hope to say, in the

things you don't understand, you still know I care, and you still know

I'm in control. And then what does God do. He blesses job one

hundredfold, not because of what Joe figured out, but because what he was

willing to hope for, which is to say, God, your plans are

bigger than mine, and your purpose is bigger than mine. So when it

feels like there's something going along around every corner, yeah, I could sit

there and figure out and say, oh, is it because I gave that

person the middle finger at the market. That's why God's doing this or that.

You could do that all day long. But guess what, if you

start thinking about all your sins, guess what, you'll be there a long

time. And trust me, we do deserve all those things. And so

it's that sense to say, God, this is in your hands. I

trust you. You know the plan that Jeremiah twenty nine eleven comes with a

promise with forty years of complete hell that the people of Israel are gonna do,

They're gonna go through. If you ever quote Jeremiah twenty nine eleven over

your life, you know these are the plans I have for you to prosper.

You just remember that that is a promise forty years before the people of

Israel are about to go through hell. So if you quote that verse of

your life, what you're saying is God, even if I go through Hell,

I know that there is something on the other side of it. It's

not a promise that you will never go through anything. It's a promise that

says, when I go through it, the Lord is on the other side.

Can you make it to the other side? That's the question. Can

your faith in Christ take you to the end of the forty years or whatever

that would look like, that's the question we have to ask. So I'd

be praying to God if I felt like everything was going wrong in every corner,

I'd say, God, sustain me to whatever the end of this is.

Just keep me Lord. I don't want to give up on you.

I don't want to walk away from you. Just strengthen me. You know,

whatever I'm going through in a marriage or my family or work or whatever,

God sustain me through however this season is. And then you prayer as

an activator of faith. Bible says, right to vision, make it plain,

and so what you are believing God for, make it very clear.

Pray through what you're expecting God to do, and hold on to that faith

and that hope. Yes, can I just add? Can I add?

You talked about Jeremiah twenty nine, and that was such a great illustration because

you know, when the Israelites were exiled into Babylon before that verse that we

all, you know, cheerly say it instagram bis right, for I know

the plans that I have for you, and they were in such a dark

place. But God also told them that they have to settle there and they

have to get married and have children, and their children have children, and

then make peace with their with their enemies and all of these things. They

had to keep going on, not completely give up on what it is.

We don't in those moments where we feel like our life is falling apart.

We can't just be like I quit until you come. And then he says,

for I know the plans that I have for you. And then right

after that he says that you will search for me, and you will find

me if you search for me with your whole heart. So there is instruction

when it comes to when we're in our exile that we need to when you're

thinking about that your world is falling apart, remember that you have to keep

going. You have to continue. You have to make peace with your adversaries,

whether that's you know, in the in the spiritual, or physically with

other people. And we have to search for God with our whole heart.

And he promises that we will find him in that exile and in that moment,

excuse all right, let me do this when we gin a lot of

we got beginning a lot of these these ones too as well. Dealing with

Catholicism. We we more than in the past twelve months, we've had more

Catholics come to our church and give their life to Christ than we have any

other type of group of people over the past. So I believe that there

is some type of revival happening within Catholicism and potentially coming out of Catholicism,

however you want to define it. And so this question is what advice do

you have for a cast that is looking for a stronger connection to God that

they don't feel like is happening in the Catholic Church and looking for a new

place of worship. This is a great question because this is really when I'm

outside after I preach. Right now, probably thirty percent of all the questions

that I get from people out in the courtyard after service have to do with

someone coming out of Catholicism and trying to process what the Protestant Christian Church does

and is. So they'll ask questions to say, may I was baptized as

a baby? I hear you guys talking about baptism. Should I get baptized

again? We have other questions, like, you know our Catholic Bibles.

You know they have other books in the Bible. Why do we have the

books of the Bible we have? And so there's all these type of questions

that people that come in out of Catholicism. One of the things you'll notice

about the Catholic Church right now is they're trying to advanced kind of a marketing

look where they're trying to make Catholicism look appealing and make it look modern.

And so you'll see that with like all these ads with the Halo Hollow app

and if you saw the Super Bowl, they did an ad with Mark Wahlberg

and Jonathan Rumy, the guy who plays Jesus on The Chosen because he's a

Catholic. And so there they're you know, the top three podcasts in religion

category right now are with Friar Mark Schmidz, which he just does Bible in

a day, and so they're they're trying to advance in technology to appeal Catholicism.

The only problem is is, and we've talked about many times, the

difference between Protestantism and Catholicism is that when they actually get into the Catholic Church,

now there's nothing modern about it, and so it goes right back into

religion, it goes right back into structure, it goes right back into the

adoration of saints. It goes right back into putting Mary on this godlike pedestal.

It immediately goes to following the pope, where the Pope tomorrow can come

up with new scripture and it's called ex Cathedra, and he can add to

the Bible by just his own voice and his own quim. Those are all

things that Protestants squirm at and go whoa the pope is on the authority of

the of Jesus Christ and what he can add to the Bible. Jesus said

that not a job or tittle will be added to the Word and the Gospel.

And so there are many questionable things that I would disagree with the Catholic

Church. But the question is moving into a new place of worship coming out

of Catholicism. Well, what I would recommend anyone to do, anyone coming

out of Catholicism or in Catholicism looking for an organic relationship with the Lord is

start to make your relationship with God personal. You do not need a human

to get to God. That's all you need is Jesus Christ, and it's

by the spirit of God. And so even when those come out of Catholicism,

they're like pastor, Adam, you just need to pray for this and

I know it'll make the difference. And I'm like you may have in the

Catholic Church or whatever ever circle you've come from. You may think that I'm

a special guy. I'm not. You are just as anointed, just as

called, just as capable to pray for the sick as I am. Now.

Just because me or some of the elders or leaders in the church have

had spent more time in the spirit and developing our gifts within the Kingdom of

God, yes we may know how to do it in a way, but

that doesn't mean that we're more powerful than you. It's not a Harry Potter

movie, right, It's not one wizard more powerful than the other wizard.

But because we're American Gospel, we like to celebritize and put celebrity pastors and

pedestals and think that they have some type of power that normal Christian can't have.

And that's false. That's a lie from the enemy, where the enemy

wants you to think that you don't have the spirit on a daily basis,

wants you to think that you are incapable of access to God on your own,

which you are and so someone who's in Catholicism, they have somewhat believe

that they always need a mediator, they always need a saint, they always

need a priest, they always need a confessional and it's simply not true.

And so someone who's coming out Catholicism is expecting you to answer, what Protestant

Church can give me access to God? And the reality is is there is

no church that can give you access to God outside of Christ. Jesus is

the only one that can give you to access to Christ. So fully trust

in the Gospel of Jesus. Open the Bible, begin to read it.

Get a devotional Bible where someone's helping you understand the scriptures deeper. Listen to

sermons, not sermons that are there just to tickle your ears, but sermons

that are there to help you grow your personal relationship with God and challenge you

to say, Hey, how can I look more like Jesus? And I

would encourage any Catholic person the more that you take this relationship with Christ more

personal and less proxy. Proxy would say I'm going to church so that I

can have a religious experience. You can have that experience in your closet at

five am, same experience you can have in church, same moment you can

have doing communion in church, you could do that at home. And you

can celebrate the death and Resurrection of Jesus whenever you want. And so it's

encouraging people to say, hey and maybe walking that person with a Catholic why

don't you and I on Mondays meet up for coffee at four pm and we'll

just start to walk our faith out together, because more than likely they'll be

like, I never did that before. All I did was go to Mass

once a year or twice a year, and as long as I did my

confessions, I thought I was good. It's like, no, let's go

deeper than that, and they'll really start to see a transformation in their life

in a very deeper way. So hopefully that answers a lot. We actually

had about ten questions on Catholicism tonight, so I try to brushstroke as best

as possible as I could with that, and I'll say the last thing,

and I want to be long, long winded, but we are launching something

in the first weekend of Man that will help people coming out of Catholicism but

also coming into church for the very first time. In their life gonna We're

gonna have a program every Sunday that helps people understand what happens in the church

on a Sunday basis, so that they can understand what's happening in church.

Why do we preach from the Bible, why do we lift our hands in

worship? Why is the preaching like this? And so first week in in

May, we will be launching something. I'm i gonna tell you the name

of it yet because that's a surprise too, but it's gonna happen every Sunday

for now until Jesus comes. So the sole point is that if you invite

a friend who's never been in a church before, or a Christian church before,

you can say, hey, go to this, it'll be thirty minutes

long and they're gonna walk out and they're gonna say, just kind of like

what I said right now, I know that through Jesus I can have a

personal relationship with God. That's what the goal of that program is gonna be.

And we'll tell you guys about it on April twenty first, actually,

so we'll let you guys know. All right, anyone have anything you want

to add on that? What a robust answer. Okay, honestly, there

were so many catholicsome questions, so I wanted to, uh, let's see,

let's let's take this one. We'll take well, probably two more.

We'll do these two more. Right here, Let's do something more a little

natural relational bent type of thing. How do you break a bond with someone

you know isn't good for you? Oh? Wow, they know so many

of you guys had that question. Don't look at anyone who wants to take

it. I'll take I'll go first. Yeah, I think you know the

I had. I had a relationship before my wife that was just terrible.

It was just terrible. I was with that person for four years, way

too long, wait, way too long, way too long, because after

the faster out, I'm already after the first like month, you already know

it was terrible. It's terrible, and it had context and we all been

there before. But I've known you for a very long time because I was

your youth pastor. Is it cost you relationships? It isolated you, it,

you know, put you in your flesh. It germains amening over.

It clouded your decision making process, It clouded your calling. All of those

things like that right right. So I want to add context to what it

is that you're saying, because other people would say, oh, yeah,

yeah, I'm there, yeah yeah, right right right, right right,

yeah yeah. No. So I was in the thick of it, and

it was it was terrible, and maybe, like you know, I'm just

like, oh, this is the person, though, We'll try to work

it out. Everything under this sun could just be worked out. We can,

we can figure it out. Maybe like six months into it, I

was like, okay, you know what people have told me, after the

first month, you got to break it off. You got to get away

from that person. You got After the first six months, I said to

myself, I said, the next time, somebody, it's crazy how God

works. The next time somebody says you should break up with her, I'll

do it. And guess what nobody did? Where was it wasn't but and

so it goes on and I just have that to myself, and so it

came up. It came to a point where I had to make a decision.

Somebody else couldn't make that decision for me. And that's what God was

trying to teach me over those years, was you have the responsibility to do

it one you have to recognize, which it seems like it's already halfway there.

You have to recognize you got to take it off, but you have

to assume the responsibility. Nobody should do it for you. Somebody could,

but it's just you can find yourself right back to where you started, you

know. So you have to make the decision and then come to those terms.

And that's what happened with me. I ultimately had to say, you

know what, I have to actually make a decision here. I actually have

to do something about this because that's what God wants for my life. And

as soon as I did it, pastor Adam always says, it just released

my destiny. Everything just started just skyrocketing in my life and here I am

today. So well, just sit right there for one second, because sell

us for a second the process, because it wasn't so cut and dry.

There was probably some month or two months after, hey I miss you,

or you were even feeling like you missed it, and so what's the process?

You blocked the number? You you don't have social media, but you

block you block Instagram? Did you get accountability? What looked like those?

Yeah? Those just total disconnect, just dropping off the face ghosting even was

a slight situation, no, because you know, decisions were made, conversations

were had, and I even I brought in Pastor Adam with a few things,

Hey, do I do I respond to this voicemail that was left to

me? Do I respond to? I'm gonna recommend to you, man,

don't don't respond, don't interact, because that's the best. Don't exactly Well,

because I that's what I did, right. I made the decision surrounded

myself with accountability to make sure I was still walking in the right way,

making sure I wasn't gonna make a wrong decision, because at first, and

how it started was I blocked all of it out. I had people there

that was saying, hey, this isn't a good idea, Hey you should

go in this direction. Hey, I would really recommend not doing it.

And I was like, I don't know. I think I'm okay, I

think I could do it. I think I could do it. And then

everything went terrible. And so then after I made the decision complete opposite.

Oh, I'm surrounding myself with these people and I'm gonna listen to these people.

And that's what accountability actually is. It's not just you know, people

telling you stuff just for you to hear it and you to move on,

because then they're gonna lose your number, and you don't want that. You

want to have accountability and have them an active part of your life, and

not just people that you call up like you're gonna go see a psyekic or

something. You'll walk out of there, think it whatever, it's gonna Yeah,

So that's what I would. That's what happened. And I think one

of the big things that I do. Let's just say you're in a mentorship

role helping someone. This is I'll I'll on the front end kind of say

who are the because I don't I'm not I'm not saying I have to be

the final authority, but I'll say something like, who are the two or

three people that are voices in your life in this circumstance. And Gabe may

say, well, it's you, and it's Ryan, and let's just say

it's pastor Herron and and so I say, so this is what I would

say on Alicia. But okay, outside of us three, if you come

talk to me, if I find out that you're getting advice from anyone else,

then don't talk to me again. I don't I don't want to talk

about it again, because what I'll start to think then is that you are

searching for answers that confirm just what you want. And so if I'm like,

hey, man, that's not smart, you should probably shouldn't answer her

back, and then he's like, man, one day, I was just

passing by Pastor Diego and I asked his opinion and he was like, Pastor

Diego was like, yeah, close that chapter broke call. And I'll be

like, but did you also tell Pastor Diego all the sin y'all were in,

Oh No, I didn't tell Pastor Diego that. Yeah, I know

that junk. So unless that person knows all your mess, don't go and

leave me and then go search someone out who only knows twenty percent. Because

your flesh is saying, that's what my flesh wants to do. And so

one of the things I do right away is like, tell me those few

voice in your life, and we got to lock in on those. You

know, I'm not saying you only got to talk to me, but tell

me right away, who are those two or three people you respect? And

if you don't have two or three people I'll make some recommendations on people I

respect that maybe you could speak in your life. But after that, don't

be shopping opinions around this. Ain't Google baby, Like you know, time

is valuable, energy is valuable. So it's like, we're not gonna play

that game. And so I'll close with this last question. We'll close together

because it's a great question that seems like it's maybe pertinent for the person that

asked is it? And I just had a conversation with actually three people in

the past month about is is it christian like to serve an ex to corp

and child support? Should I feel guilty? Uh? I'll answer really griefly,

really briefly because I read it, and then I'll give it to SNAs

whose head is like on a swivel right now. In the past month,

I've been asked by three different people outside of this one, this same question,

and it's guilded in this desire that as God is doing something in your

life, and God has forgiven you, and God has moved in your life,

and maybe you're new to your faith or you're new to see there's this

idea of you always wanting to walk in compassion and patience and forgiveness. But

the reality is is, according to the Book of Romans, God has given

us government and earthly justice systems as a way in which God enacts justice.

Uh the just in Now does that mean corruption can't happen in justice systems or

that no, they they're human and they're earthly. But it does mean that

God has gifted us ordinances of governan for humanity. And so we live in

a place that you should take every opportunity as possible to exercise the justice system

if need be. Now, as Christians, we want to lean with our

faith first, and so we want to lead with conversation. We want to

lead with forgiveness, We want to lead with compassion. But if you have

done everything that you have done. And a recent conversation I've had with someone

is just my spouse refuses to come around. Our children, they just don't

show up anywhere. They dropped off the face of the map. And I

said, have you got a quarter about this? They're like, no,

I don't want to do that to them. I was like, listen,

get a lawyer, call to judge. God has gifted you that system for

accountability. Is it always perfect? Can it be unjust. Yes, absolutely

that stuff can happen, but that is not necessarily for your responsibility to figure

out. God works in those things, and so uh, don't feel bad

if in cases you do have to use the government or a legal system to

work some things out, because God has given us it for a reason.

Just like if someone breaks into your house, call the police. Okay,

Like I just want to exercise grace. Maybe he needed my couch. No,

no, call the police, Get your couch back, you know,

get your alternator back. Call, call, call somebody you know. So

now you want to add the final thoughts. Final thoughts is you know what

we all would love to say, just like when you got married, that

you would stay married and it would be a beautiful marriage that didn't happen for

you. So now you're entering this new season where it's like, okay,

but I just want to be able to co parent and bliss and we get

along and we drop off the children and we could be friends and I'll get

to know their new spouse and they'll get to know my new spouse and will

be one big, happy family. But the truth of the matter is it

doesn't always and we would love for that to happen, but it doesn't always

end up that way. So how to protect ourselves and how to protect our

walk with Christ is to create those boundaries where it can be a lot more

civil. You know, the court system is really there to create a more

civil way to be able to make sure that the children are cared about.

This is about the kids. This has nothing to do with a relationship between

you and your ex. This is to make sure that your children are taken

care of. And that is your responsibility to make sure that the children are

taken care of. And you have to do that by any means necessary.

And what you're doing is you're choosing to do it the most civil way by

having the court intervene or else you are going to come out of your Christian

grace and come out of into your flesh, and you will say things that

you can't take back, and the kids will get involved, and it's actually

a lot cleaner and it's probably a little bit more Christian like to just have

the court handle it, to be honest. So that is my final thought.

That's great. Thank you. As we close, I just want to

say thank you guys so much for being here tonight. First time us doing

something. And as Pastor Diego has always said for decades, he loves first

first of any kind, and so this was a first at us really attempting

during a service time to make our church feel a little bit smaller and a

little bit more personal. And hopefully you've met some people you didn't know before

and hopefully a relationship can build. And we're going to do this once a

quarter till the end of this year, and so hopefully this is something you

look forward to and maybe even sit with some of the same faces you know

each time that you may recognize. And so before I close, lastly,

I just want to invite you fellas. This Friday, we're coming together for

our Men's Night, and so fellas, we look forward to it. I

see some two fifty two cruise shirts in here, and so we're gonna have

a blast on Friday. We have so much stuff planned. You guys are

gonna love it. I'll just tell you that it's gonna be a great night.

So invite someone or just come. It's gonna be a blast. Before

we leave here together, I just want to encourage you. We've said a

lot tonight for those online and here in this place, but if more than

anything that we said. Hopefully it resounds how much we need a relationship with

God, how much God can only be the one that can actually get us

through this life in a way that brings fullness, that brings peace, and

that brings joy. And the way that it's available for all is by Jesus

Christ. Jesus Christ. If you think about it, everything that God has

is kind of in a circle, and the only way to access everything that

God wants us to get is you have to have an access point. And

the only access point that God has created for us is through Jesus Christ.

Because Jesus Christ is the only one who died on the cross for our sins.

More than that, he also three days later was completely risen victorious,

showing us that his sacrifice was sufficient. And so there's nothing in this life

that can bring peace, that can bring hope, and can bring a relationship

with the Father other than a relationship with Jesus. And so the promise of

Jesus is available to all. Will everyone choose it? No, Because most

of the times we won't. Pastor Diego recently shared a message about marriage,

but just in life, a lot of times, the reason why we don't

have relationship with God is not because of any exterior force. It's just because

we're selfish. We don't want one because we know to get a relationship with

God means we have to start saying no to some things. We also have

to start saying no to ourselves. And I have toddler sons, and one

of the things my two toddler boys hate to do is hear the word no

and hear the word you can't have candy for breakfast. But we know no

is good for our children. So God's process to bring us access in a

relationship is that saying to say no to my flesh. There are things that

God has for us, but it takes me saying, God, I now

repent of my sins. I begin to say no to my flesh. I

won't be able to perfectly do it every day, but then God, I'll

have Jesus every day to sustain me and take me through it. So you

have a promise that you have Jesus to sustain you and take you through it.

So if you're in this place today, I'm gonna have to say a

prayer out loud. This prayer of salvation is not the salvation within the prayer.

What we're doing is affirming that God right now is speaking to and you're

at a place where you're saying, God, I desperately need a relationship with

you. So would you do me a favor in this place, whether you're

an online or in this room, would you bow your heads right now as

we can have just a moment of self contemplation. And I encourage you,

if you're in this place, if you've never given your life to Jesus Christ,

or maybe you had a long time ago, but you're really reflecting,

say, man, my life, I never really accepted him. I really

need to dedicate my life to him. Then in this moment, I encourage

you that it be the moment that you say yes today. I can't force

you to say it. I can't even pay you to say it. What

I can do is encourage you to say, Jesus did pay the price that

any of you would ever pay, and to receive him means that you receive

all of God's heavenly rewards, but also you receive peace in this life.

So would you all join me in saying this prayers We have our heads bowed

and eyes closed, as many will say this for the first time. Dear

Lord Jesus, in this moment, I repent to my sins. I confess

you as Lord and Savior. I believe in my heart that you died on

the cross and you rose three days later, and I commit to follow you

for the rest of my days in Jesus's name. Amen. We really hope

you enjoyed the message, and if you said yes to Jesus, we just

want to say congratulations and give you a free devotional to help you walk out

your faith. Click the link in the description or head over to grow the

download your devotional. Oh and be sure to subscribe and share this podcast with

your friends. Thanks for listening to ALSC podcasts and we hope you tune in again.