Fathered: From Orphaned Heart to Heir of Heaven || Pastor Adam Mesa

Thank you so much to all those who consider Patriot

your home church and partner with us financially. It's because

of you we're able to do some incredible things within

the ministry, whether it be ministering, doing counseling families and marriages,

or whether it be posting baptisms where everybody gets a

shirt and we have change of clothes for people that

get impromptu. You know, we got to fill all the

pools and everything like that. All of that costs, and

we don't get free money or anything like that from

the government. Everything that you see when you walk around Patria,

any blade of grass that's been cut, any diaper that's

been given to a child who mother forgot their diapers,

any snacks that are given, anything, any resource that's given,

it's all because you provide for that.

Financially.

We feed thousands of families every Saturday at our Generosity

Center down the street. That is because of your generosity,

and so I thank you that when you give you

can just walk around and see that it's in good

soil and it goes to good soil, and so thank.

You so much for that.

This is Father's Day weekend, and it's so incredible to

see so many families that are out today. I want

to share a couple of things as we jump into

the Father's Day message today. What we wanted to do

over this weekend is kind of do a little bit

of ministry to the father's ministry to everybody, whether you've

had a father in your life or you haven't.

Had an active father in your life.

The thing about Mother's Day is Mother's Day is often

celebrated because for the most part, everybody has had a mother.

So everybody gets excited about Father's Day. But people don't

often get excited about Father's Day because not everybody has

a father or not everyone has had an active.

Father in their life in some type of way.

And so when Father's Day has talked about, some get excited,

Some are able to send texts about how much their

dad or grandfather means to him, and others there's no

text that gets sound out, there's no message that gets sent.

And so why I want to be able to encourage

you today.

Through God's word about how God sees you where you're at,

but also for the men where God's got some encouragement

for you today to continue to continue to be the

man of God that God has called you to be,

and so for the past couple of months, I've known

that we were going to do a message of sorts

of what we're going to do today specifically, and so

for the past couple of months, I've been working on

a small book for men. It's for all types of men.

It's for young men, it's for older men. It's for

men that are in a season of parenting, a season

of grandfathering, or in a single season. It's called The

Anatomy of a Godly Man and it talks about ten

pillars of a Godly Man.

And today, for our men, for Father's Day, we're.

Gonna give it away digitally completely for free, and so

something we want to gift all the men with.

It's a short read.

Book, but I think it's going to radically impact your life.

And so the way you can get your hands on it,

because you got to download it, is if you just

go to Adamessa dot org just put your email and

an email is going to get sent to you and

the book is going to be attached to it, and

from there you can transfer it to your iPad, your computer,

you can read it on your phone. We've been I've

been working on this for a couple months, and so

it literally finished this week, So we don't have any

physical copies or anything like that yet. We literally finished

editing like on Wednesday and got it to the team and.

We're able to offer it digitally today.

And so the reason being is because the message I'm

going to share, I believe a lot of men are

going to say.

I'm excited. What's next? Though?

How can I continue to develop as a man of God?

Which is why I've been really ferociously for Father's Day

wanting to work on that book, The Anatomy of a

Godly Man. If you know one of my convictions, one

of my convictions for men is every man should be

a Luke two fifty two men. The Luke two fifty two.

Says that when Jesus grew up in age, it.

Says he grew in wisdom, stature, favor with God and

favor with Man.

Now, every woman could pursue that too.

But I also believe that if a man would commit

in his life to grow in Godly wisdom, to grow

in Godly's stature, to grow in favor with God and man,

we will see a lot of men make an impact

in their homes and in their communities, and so I

just want to encourage you. We'll share it again at

the end if you want to get a hold of it,

but we want to be able to resource you before

I jump into the message today. I thought it'd be good.

On Mother's Day, we shared a few jokes. So it's

Father's Day, so I thought I would share a few

dad jokes with you. Okay, specifically some dad jokes. Some

of them I presently use with my sons right now.

But here's a couple for you. Did you hear the

rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.

Some of these. You may have to ask your neighbor

what that meant.

Why did the dad bring a ladder to church because

he heard the sermon was going to.

A whole new level.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

I only know twenty five letters of the alphabet.

I don't know.

Why, and the last one is I told my kids

I was made in the image, in God's image. They said,

then God needs to hit the gym, look at.

A dad somewhere and say he's not talking about you. Heah, Well,

for today's message, I want to.

Share with you a message called fathered what it means

to be a father and what it means to be

fathered by God. I have some verses I want to

read with us together, and we're going to share those

verses throughout the message. You do me a favor for

just a moment, would you just stand for the honor

breading God's word. I'm not reading verses in the traditional

way that we normally do, where it's one passage. I

got some passages that I want us to see together

about the Word, what the word says about what it

means to be fathered by God, but also what it

means to father. Here's what James chapter one, verse twenty

one says. Religion is that is pure and undefiled before God,

the Father. Is this to visit orphans and widows in

their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Romans chapter eight, verse fourteen says, for all who are

led by the spirit of God are sons of God.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to

fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit.

Of adoptions as sons.

By whom we cry Abbah Father. The Spirit himself bears

witness with our spirit that we are children of God.

And if children, then we are heirs. And if heirs

of God, then we are fellow heirs with Christ, provided

we suffer with Him in order that we.

May also be glorified with Him.

And then lastly John fourteen eighteen, Jesus says, I will

not leave you as orphans. I will come to you

speaking of giving us the Holy Spirit.

You may be seeded today.

One of the things we'll see today, and it'll begin

to bleed into what it means to be an earthly father.

But it's important for us to understand who our heavenly

Father is and how that relates with the world today.

We recognize through the messages and the sermons of the

verses we just read that God has adopted us, and

God has adopted us as a father.

That reflects love.

And what happens is today the Church must rise to

restore fatherhood in a fatherless world.

We do.

We live in a father, So we live in a

culture that's starving for identity, and identity always flows from intimacy.

How many of you guys know, the more time you

often spend with someone or something, the more intimate you

become with it. Same way with God, the more time

that we spend with God as our father, the more

intimate of a relationship that becomes to be. Also, the

more time that you spend in the presence of God

is the more healing that it could be. At the

same time, Jesus said in John fourteen eighteen that we

just read, he says when he speaks of when he

was gonna ascend to heaven and people were gonna be scared.

But Jesus, then you won't be in our life anymore. Jesus,

you won't be present anymore. Jesus says, I will not

leave you as orphans. I will come to you. He's

speaking of the Holy Spirit.

It's God's desire that we not be fatherless. And what happens.

Jesus wasn't just speaking to the fatherless and natural.

He was speaking to the spiritually abandoned, the emotionally neglected,

and the relationally starved. And what does Jesus say. He says,

I'm coming for you. The heart of a father is

not to leave, but to lean in. It's a great father,

and it's God's desire that he not leave us or

forsake us.

One of the things I want to share about a

little bit.

Is that statement I made a moment ago was that

we live in a fatherless culture. And if you're taking notes,

I want you to see that we have a culture today.

That is fatherless. In large, there is a fatherless culture.

And if there are fathers, a lot of them, not

all of them, but a lot of them have never

seen it mirrored, and so they don't know what to do.

They're doing it for the first time. And so what

the word of God says in James four point twenty

seven that we read, it's this religion that is pure

and undefiled before God, the Father, is this to visit

orphans widows in their affliction.

The Greek word to.

Visit that's used here is episcomatie, which means to intentionally

care for, to attend to. You see, God says that

it's the heart of a believer, in God's desire for believers,

that we care for the orphans. I'm gonna share in

a few minutes more about what that is. But there's

this calling to care for those in society because in

Jesus's society, in Jesus's culture, and day, a widow had

no provider. An orphan had no protector. There wasn't a

government ai system, and so a widow who did not

have her husband anymore had no one there to provide

for her.

There wasn't a.

Government that stepped in. Same thing with orphans. There wasn't

any type of group. There wasn't a government group. There

wasn't a nonprofit group that came in and cared for orphans,

and so there was no protector for orphans. And the

Bible talks about orphans and widows because both represent individuals

that don't have a covering over their life. Today, one

of the most unreached mission fields is not just a

tribe overseas.

It's the living room of a fatherless home.

That's a mission field that we have today in our

own backyard. According to recent studies, one in four children in.

The US will grow up without a father. One in four.

Fatherless homes account for ninety percent of runaways, eighty five

percent of behavioral disorders, and seventy one percent of high

school dropouts. Just this year alone, four hundred and forty

four thousand suicides. Almost half a million suicides have taken

place up till June already almost a million people by

the end of the year, and seventy five to eighty percent.

Of those will be men. A lot of them will

be fathers.

This is heartbreaking when you look at the data. One

day I met with one of our the head San

Bernardino County sheriff, and he was talking to me about

the prison system and the juvenile system and things like that,

and he said this, and it absolutely blew my mind.

He said, there are a lot of young men that

grew up in the juvenile system that the moment they

turn adults and they turn eighteen, they will commit a

crime so that they can go to prison. And I

asked them why would they Why would they purposely commit

a crime, and he said, because over half of those

juveniles that go to the juvenile detention center, he said,

almost over half of them, their fathers and grandfathers are

in prison, and so they will commit a crime just

so they can get time with dad.

I mean, think about it.

Think about understanding someone that's in prison for fifteen, twenty years,

thirty years, even to life, and a young man is

so desperate just to have any time with a father

that they commit a crime to spend time with dad.

They're not gonna be able to bunk with dad, they're

not gonna be able to room with dad. But that

thirty minutes, that hour for lunch, that time in the yard.

That's the time with Dad. Think about what.

Kind of pain's gotta be in your heart that you're

gonna go commit something so that you could just get

time with Dad. We live in a culture that's fatherless.

We live in a culture where a lot of people

are hurting, and so we don't just have a social crisis.

We have a spiritual famine of fatherhood today.

And the second thing we see that in a fatherless culture,

we see that there is still an orphan condition. There's

a condition that still perpetrates today of orphanhood.

And an orphan isn't just a child. Here's the thing.

In Jesus's culture and society.

You'll notice that Jesus, if you read the Gospels, he

talks a lot about children, he talks a lot about orphans,

he talks a lot about widows. James, who was the

brother of Jesus, we saw that he just spoke about orphans.

He just spoke about widows. And you think to yourself,

that's so far from me. I mean, yeah, we have

widows today, but you know a lot of times, you know,

insurance will look after widows or or a retirement will

look after widows. When we think of orphans, we think

that that's like for the movies, that's like Annie, like

her growing up in a home and then getting adopted,

and that, you know, and and that's what an orphanage

is like.

They have orphanages in third world countries.

You know, in America, there's you know, foster care systems,

and there's adoption systems. But nowhere in my circle do

I experience an orphan condition or an orphan mentality. You see,

if Jesus were living today and he were to survey

our cultural landscape, he would say, you have more orphans

than you realize.

Because if the Jewish.

Culture, an orphan wasn't a child that didn't have a

mom and dad. An orphan in Jesus's culture was a

child who didn't have a father.

A child could have a mother. There's a reason why

he said widows.

And orphans, because oftentimes widows had children's and in Jewish culture,

an orphan was someone that didn't have the spiritual covering

of a father in home wasn't someone that didn't have parents.

It was someone that didn't.

Have a dad.

And so Jesus says, you have a lot of individuals

in our society who don't have dads, and we're not

doing anything about it. And he said, as men, we're

not stepping up, and we're not loving those who have

never experienced.

A loving father.

And so when he talks about caring for an orphan,

he's not just talking about financial support. He's talking about

as men of God in culture that are able to

speak truth and love those who've.

Never had an active father in their life.

The orphan condition isn't just someone who grew up in

foster care or an adoption center. It's someone who grew

up without an active father.

In their life. When I was a.

Youth pastor, over fifty percent of my youth students didn't

have active dads in their home, and so the only

male interaction they would ever have was on Sunday at service.

And you would see young men and young women begin

to transform when they started to experience an active father

in their life.

There's a reason why.

In Romans, chapter eight, verse fifteen to sixteen, the apostle

Paul gives.

Us such great hope that we read, and he.

Said, you did not receive the spirit of slavery to

fall back into fear, but you receive the spirit of

adoption as sons by whom we cry Abba Father. You see,

this is the first time it's shared in scripture. It's

the first time in their current day, in Paul's day,

and in Jewish day, that they.

Ever heard God referred to as Abba.

There had always been this picture of God in heaven

and somewhat be far off, somewhat being.

Distant from them.

But when Paul steps in and he says, hey, hey,

here's one thing you got to understand about God. Is

God is not just some distant father that phones in

on occasion, or is there just to rescue you when

you go to prayer or call in God?

Is Abba?

That that is the most in Jewish culture and in

Greek and in the air make that is the most

intimate term of endearment that you could have for a father.

Timothy Keller puts it like this.

He says, the only person who dares wake up a

king at three am for a glass of water is

a child. We have that kind of access to God

you see, God doesn't just tolerate orphans, he adopts them.

You know, there are times with people where you know,

because maybe our ministry has impacted them, and maybe sermons

have impacted them, or a podcast where sometimes men and

women they'll come up to me and they'll be like, oh,

I'm just I'm sorry, I'm just so nervous.

To meet you. And I'll hear that, and.

You know, when I first started hearing that was very

foreign to me, but then I slowly started to understand

because they were talking about how, you know, God had

changed their life.

And so when they would meet me, they would.

Get nervous and and and their voice would get cracky

and shaky and and But what happens a lot of

times if I'm out.

Greeting people and individuals do.

That, they'll just they'll say, I'm sorry, pastor out of.

Them, I'm just so nervous. I didn't meet you. Now

I don't.

I don't think anything's unique about me. Get with my wife,

she'll tell you very fast that nothing's unique about me.

But there are times that my sons will come out

of Children's Church and they'll just blow past that individual

and they'll.

Be like Dad, I got a popsicle in children's church.

Open it for me right now, please. They don't care

what I'm doing. When I'm in the room and my

sons are in the room, I'm on duty. They they

I could be in the middle of intercessory prayer for

someone and my son's yeah, yeah, hey Dad, you're come on,

you're in duty now.

I need you.

I need you to fix this for me, all right?

Can you get me some water or can we go

outside and play? They just they know because I'm their dad,

there's just access.

They don't have to guess, they don't have to wonder,

they don't have to it's just, hey, that's dad. Do

I give them everything that they want to know.

But they're never scared to ask, and they know whether

I give it for them or not, they know at

least we can go to Dad with it.

You don't have a God.

You don't have a father that you need to go

to trepidaciously or scared or timid or God if you

have some time, or God I wonder or God I'm sorry.

If you don't know what you're doing, you got a

heavenly father that does.

And so if you're a father today, and you're saying,

I've never had an active father in my life. I

don't know how to raise these kids. I don't know

how to be married. I don't know how to be

a grandfather.

You have a heavenly father, Jesus says, he will not

leave us as orphans. He will adopt us into the family.

And when you're in air with God, it means God

will guide you. Keep it real with God. You don't

have to fake it to make it. You don't you

see Psalms twenty seven ten. King David said this because

he didn't have a great relationship with his father and

mother all the time. But one son was born out

of an affair. Another son tried to kill him when

he got older, and so King David says, for my

father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord

will take me in. You see, earthly relationships, they might

fall short in your life, but you have a heavenly

father that will always take you in. Because we're called.

You don't raise children with your opinions. You raised them

with your example. And what we got to recognize. Tony

Evan says, a godly father is the is the unseen

spiritual submarine who lurks below the surface of every activity

of his child's life.

You see what.

Happens is when we begin to recognize that you have

adoption from God, it means that you also can recognize

that you're not doing this alone, that you're not doing

this from a place of you don't know what to do,

you don't know how to do it. You come from

a place that you can go to the Lord and

you can say, God, help me, help me, Lord, I

don't know what I'm doing. Because you can be saved

today by grace and you can still live like an orphan.

You can be a Christian and still have a condition

of fatherlessness, and that will happen.

With earthly relationships, but you'll also let that happen with

how you view God. But God is not there to

live by the example of man. God is there, according

to his word.

To set the example, to show us what it truly

means to be a father. And God can show you today.

You can be called a son and still carry the

scars of fatherlessness. You can call God father and still

not know what it means to be fathered. I want

to spend a few minutes talking about covering what it

means to be covered not just by God but also

fathered by God, but formed by men, because that's what

God has called us to do. As we are led

by the Father, and God will teach us how to father.

It's up to us to form one another. But a

proverb says that iron sharpens iron. And so where you

may lack certain areas of your life where you don't

know how to be a father, you.

Don't know how to receive being fathered, then the reality

is what we can do is we can help one another.

We can help form one another.

So why it's so important for us that we encourage

to go to growth track and forward and join a

neighborhood group, Because it's you stepping outside of your comfort

zone to say, Hey, I understand that I need to

be sharper in my life, and I understand I can't

do this on my own.

And there are.

People that may be more gifted in one area of

your life than you are, and you may be more

gifted in another area of your life.

First Corinthians, chapter four, verse fifteen.

Says this you have countless fathers, or you have countless instructors,

but not many fathers. This was written two thousand years ago.

How true is that We've got good podcasts, we got

great YouTube sermons and videos, and we got good TikTok

men that talk about what it means to be a man,

and we got great TikTok theologians. But who is calling

out your identity? Who's correcting you in love? Who's gonna

show up for you when you fall?

You can't ring that person you follow on TikTok, you can't.

You can't message that YouTube preacher that you're watching on YouTube. Hey,

I need you to get here right now to Rancho Cucamonga.

I'm going through some marriage things.

See what happens is we gotta recognize if we don't

live life in community and accountability, there are not enough

just messages you can ingest, or things that you can

just follow, or or or traits.

That you can try to adapt.

If you don't have someone that says, hey, I want

to I want to speak some things into your life,

because there will be moments that the moment you step

into being a godly man not just a man, because

culture and society defines manhood completely different than what the

Bible defines manhood as. But if you start, if you

step into godly character, godly fatherhood, godly manhood. What's gonna

happen is you are gonna be challenged in areas where

the rest of the world isn't challenged in.

Because anyone that just has father wounds.

Guess what they Either a get to duplicate them and say, well,

I'm doing it because that's all I've ever seen, or

they get to say I reject any father because.

I've never known a good father.

So either you duplicate what you've seen or you just

reject the entire thing. But when you say, Lord, I

want to step into a godly manhood, a godly character,

then he'll say, okay, well let's turn the heat up.

Then let's develop that the you've ever.

Been into a kitchen before, like at a restaurant, It's

hot in there because things are getting cooked, things are

getting developed.

I've never been in a cold kitchen before in my life.

I've never been in one.

It's always hot, there's always a window that's gotta be cracked,

there's always a towel on someone's shoulder to wipe the

sweat off. Because if you want anything cooked, if you

want anything developed, it means it's gonna get hot. It

means you're get tried. It means character is gonna be developed.

And if we're just gonna say that's it, I'm out

of the kitchen because I get burnt every time I'm

in that kitchen. And guess what, nothing's ever gonna get made,

nothing's ever.

Gonna get served. If you just walking out every.

Single time you get a little burt, you get a

little scratched, then guess what, You're never gonna be able

to develop the way that God wants to develop you.

I was so encouraged last week, but also I was challenged,

thinking to.

Myself, what would I do.

Pastor Fuego is our campus pastor up in Alameda, and

they had baptisms this past weekend. Well, a few months

ago he called me and he said, hey, Pastor Adam,

I'm in a little bit.

Of a pickle. So what's going on. Pastor Fuego. He said, well,

there's this.

Guy that started coming to my church and I'm not

really comfortable with it.

I said, why aren't you really comfortable with it?

He goes, well, because like seven years ago, he robbed me,

he stole from me, and he found out I'm a pastor,

and I guess he got like saved online or something

like that, and so he just started attending my church.

But like he's never paid me back my money, and

and he's like and he's just trying to like show

up to church. And he goes like I kind of

want to just tell him, like, hey, there's a church

on every corner. May like maybe try a one that

I'm not pastoring. You know, He's like, I'm mad, I'm angry.

Maybe you know about Pastor Fuego't he didn't have an

active father in his life at all, and so for him,

his father instincts don't kick in for a young man

that didn't have a father who robbed from him his

his rejection.

Hey man, this guy's got to go. I love him

so glad.

You're loving Jesus, but love Jesus in another area code

or another zip code like that.

You know. And if you remember.

Pastor Aaron Cermony, he talked about forgiveness and forbearance. You know,

as you forgive, forbearance is still something that you have

to it. So Fuego's working on his forbearance and so

he goes, he goes, you know, he says Honestly, I'm

kind of like I see him on Sundays, but I

kind of just like wap him up and I keep

moving because I'm still working through like dislike anger that

I have.

And then's sure enough, I get a text on.

Monday morning and he goes Pastor Adam, the young man

came up and he asked to be baptized. He was

the last person to be asked to be baptized on Sunday.

And you'll see right there, God, You'll see Pastor Fuego.

He begins to cry because God is not working on

the young man. God is working on Pastor Fuego. God

isn't just healing the young man. God is healing flag.

And you'll see this is a law.

He's a minute half videos on Pastor Fuego's Instagram, but

he's speaking to this young man and he goes, I

know that other men have quit on you.

I know that people have left you alone. I know

that you've been doing this by yourself. But Pastor Fuego said,

I make a commitment, a covenant with you right here,

right now. I will not leave you. I will not

give up on you. I will not get even with you.

He says, I love you, and he begins to pray

for this young man who's twenty six years old, growing

up in the streets.

And he begins to encourage this young man and baptize

this young man.

This is what it looks like to be fathered by God.

It means that God will challenge some areas of your life.

God will challenge you. He will stretch you. He will say, Oh,

you got a wound right here, Let's heal that by

having you develop that in someone else. Oh you got

some anger you're working through.

Let's have you love someone in an area where that

anger seems to boil up every single time you see God,

his process to develop it and his process to healing

is one that you and I will not feel that

it is comfortable. Pastor Fuego was texting me and Pastor

and he said, God did something in me this weekend.

God closed a chapter on something in me this weekend.

That's what it means when you say God, you can

father me. He'll say, Okay, get ready, because I'm about

to do something a dad has never done before. I'm

going to develop something in you a father maybe has

never done before. God will show you great love but

he'll also discipline you in areas that you've not recognized.

See a lot of times what we want to do

is I got this.

Old ratty toolbox right here, all right, And a.

Lot of times what will happen is is this kind

of represents what a father would pass down to you. Okay,

so it's not pretty, it's not perfect. And so as

you've become and you've developed to be a young man,

a man, a grandfather, you're looking at this toolbox that

your father passed down to you, and so there are

things that you're trying to develop. And then you open

that toolbox and you go, oh, I just have a

hammer because my dad was really hard. That's what I have.

And then oh, I see, you know, I see a

wrench in here, because my dad was always just trying

to correct things and trying to and trying to tort

things and fix things. And so when you become a father,

you're like, these are the two things.

That I have, and you're like, I don't I don't

want to use these. I don't want a hammer of

my children. I don't want this.

I don't want to be a husband that just hammers

on my wife all the time. I don't want to

just be calling out everyone's errors all the time and

trying to fix it. And so then we say, I

don't like this toolbox. I don't like what was passed

down to me. I don't like these things. Or some

of you, you got this toolbox and you open it

and it's just empty. You didn't have a father, so

you're like, I have nothing in it. I got what

was passed If your father wasn't even the picture, You're like,

I got something that was passed down from him, which

is absence, and there's nothing in this. So you think

to yourself, I just want I want a shiny new toolbox.

I just want I just want a brand new day.

I just want a brand new father. And so what

we do is we look at people to be the

new thing for us. And so you you you may

you know, if you're a.

Woman and you didn't have an active father, you say, okay,

I want I want to find a husband that's going

to be both of those things you want.

We look for the new or a young man. We

look for a new mentor we want to look up to,

or we go to YouTube and we create a relationship

with someone and say Okay, that's my dad. And so

we just think I want a new and then what

we want.

To do is we want to get new hammers, we

want to get new wrenches, we want to get new pliers.

We want everything all fresh and new.

But the reality is if you get everything fresh and new,

guess what you're learning how to do it for the

first time.

You're you are stepping into somebody saying I've never hammered

anything before.

In the hammer I saw, I don't want that hammer

and the wrench I saw. So now we're figuring everything

out on our own. If you live isolated, and so

you're getting all these new tools, but you don't know

what's worked. So one day you're going up to your

wife and you're saying, you know, I watched this YouTube

video and they told me I gotta be more of

a leader and I gotta put my foot down.

So I'm gonna go to my wife and I'm gonna say.

Wife, I put my foot down, and she's gonna say, boy,

well you talking to right or he say okay, I've

been really passive. And then I'm gonna go to my kids.

I would say, you know what, bedtime right now?

Seven pm? And they start laughing at you.

Ah, whatever, And so we're doing it all by ourselves.

But what would happen if a couple things. What would

happen if we recognized Yep, my dad. He wasn't perfect.

He had a lot of shortcomings, but he woke up

every day at six am.

Everything was clean, everything was put to order. Everything he

wanted went, but we had to make the bed.

He was like a drill sergeant. But now that I

kind of look at my life, I'm really disciplined. I'd

like I have I have these disciplines. I have these

I mean, I'm not really soft, I'm not really gracious,

and I can't figure it out, but I have a

lot of discipline from my dad. Or you say to yourselves,

oh man, we we you know my dad he was

like he was a really family man. Like we didn't

do well financially or anything like that, and he went

from job to job, but man, he was really all

about the family. He would go to all my games,

he would go to all my recitals.

He was so present for me.

I just wish I learned some more disciplined things, or

I wish I learned more of this, or I wish

I learned more of that. Well, what happens is you

can you can recognize the old toolbox and you can say, ah,

I like I like a little bit of this, and

I and I like a little bit of this, and

I want to develop a new this, and you can

begin to build something in your life.

Without just saying I don't I don't want the toolbox

to get the whole thing out of my face. I

want I want to start over fresh. Or when we

live in community, we can recognize by show hands who

grew up with a father that was extremely disciplined, like disciplined, schedule,

disciplined with you, bed had to be done, dinner at this.

Raise your hand, rais your hand if you had that

disciplined father. See we got a lot of people with

disciplined fathers.

Now, now raise your hand. If you had that that

that father thought that was like he was.

A family man. He you did vacations together. He always

asking you how you're doing. He you know, he was

at the games the recite. Raise your hand if you

have that dad. See so look about half and half

half the room had a disciplined a dad. Half the

room had a dad that was fun and some of

you didn't raise your hand at all.

And so then what happens is, guess what we could

all benefit.

From each other if we start sharpening one another. I

can go to someone and.

Say, hey, here's the thing I know about my dad.

My dad. If you know Pastor Diego, he's got He.

Is the most disciplined person you've ever met. If you

ask his schedule to be off by ten minutes, he

will start to get anxious.

He will count seconds.

When he has to be at something like a family gathering,

one of his first questions will be how long do.

I have to be there for?

Not because he doesn't mean well, it's because that's him.

And so for me, I recognize when my wife, she

came from a family, man, dad and all this stuff.

So I had to recognize I am missing a tool

that I didn't see represented growing up.

But I didn't go.

But I want nothing to do with being a disciplined individual.

I want to be a disciplined individual.

But I also don't want to count the clock when

I'm at my wife's family gatherings.

So what do I do.

I get around men who don't count the clock, and

I say, what do you do?

How do you do it.

Can you speak into Mike, Can you help me? Because

I've only seen one thing growing up, and I want

I want to do another. And then all of my

friend friends know, Hey, keep me accountable because I'm the

type of guy that I will work one hundred hours

a week.

I could, I could. I love my wife, I love

my children.

I could work all day every day and see them

for five minutes and be like, I'm great, I did

my job.

But that's not healthy.

So I need community around me who's like Adam, when's

the last time you went on a date night with

your wife, Adam, When was the last time you spend

a whole day with your kids? When was the last

time you canceled your day, your schedule so that you

can take your son's stuff? Or when did you do that?

And I go, shoot, let me get that stinking plier

I haven't had, and I gotta.

Because what happens is what you don't intentionally build, what

you don't intentionally make, what you don't others others speak

to you will not find it.

By default. You just saying God, help me be a

better father, God help me in this.

He's You're not gonna miraculously wake up tomorrow and be

to have a whole new disciplines. It's what you develop.

And then what what happened is God will give you

opportunities like Pastor Fuego to see what tool you're gonna use,

because cause that young man, he didn't need the hammer,

He's gotten the hammer before.

He needed a screwdriver.

He needed someone to go deeper with them, to love

him more, not just to hit him, but to be like,

what's going on.

I recently was hanging a TV in my house.

It took me seven hours to do this, the reason being,

and I kept making like Instacar orders to home Depot

to get like a new tool and a new tool

and a new tool, and so like three hundred dollars

later in home Depot like Instacart things. I realized something

that I didn't know that if I would have just

called one of my friends who have a lot of

friends in construction and contractors, one of my best friends

builds homes, I could have just called him and been like, hey,

are walls different when they're connected to kitchens? Because I'm

hanging a door, I'm hanging a TV like I would

in my bedroom, but like this wall is connected to

my kitchen, and every hole I make there's a piece

of two by four and I'm doing the little studfinder thing,

but there's like one every foot instead of one every

three feet. Well, sure enough, once I went to the

school of Google, they reinforce walls for kitchens different then

they do for other places of the house in certain

areas of the kitchen, because it's holding a different waight

or doing it different. I still don't know, but it

was different. So I'm trying to slide the wire through

the wall and.

There's another piece of two by four, and there's another

piece of two every two feet rather.

Than the north and I'm thinking, what's going on? It's

because I refuse to call someone who's been there, does

something that I don't do, knows something I don't know,

to say hey, can you help me? So I'm trying

to learn how to be dead mad at my boys

because they keep running past the screwdrivers and the saw

and all that stuff, and I'm saying, leap me alone.

We're all I could have just called someone for help.

You see, when you we be fathered by God, we

omit some things that were not good at but we

also allow God to speak into some things all close

with this. Billy Graham says, a good father is one

of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of

the most valuable assets in our society. Here's three roles

of a father. Every father is the priest of their home.

You represent God, You represent your family to God. You

cover them in prayer, you walk in holiness, and you

bring God's word home.

Second thing is every father is a protector.

We guard their heart and their mind of our home,

not just physically safe, but emotionally and spiritually covered.

The third thing is provider.

It's not to take away from a dual income home

in any means, but it's not just money. For a

man to be a provider. He offers more than money offered.

Provides presence, He provides instruction, he provides stability, and a

father provides identity.

That's what every man is.

Every man is a priest, every man is a protector,

and every father is a provider. And here's everything that

a man should needs in his life and needs to

become if you want to have a healthy walk as

a man. Here's three things that every man needs and

needs to become. Every man needs a father, because when

you have a father that speaks into your life, they

don't care about who you are in the sense of

they don't care about your accomplishments, they don't care about

your status, they don't care about your you know, they

don't care about even when you fall or make mistakes.

A father will speak into your life with a certain

amount of truth that you need that fathers don't tiptoe,

Like when I when I'm talking to someone.

Else's kids, I'm like, well, you know, you see.

When I'm talking to my kids, Matthias, Thomas, get.

Over here, I talk to them differently because his dad.

There's a love, there's a trust that's been But I'm

also like, I'm gonna talk to you boys, black and white.

Someone else I may have to butter up a little,

but you're my son's here's how I'm gonna talk to you.

So a father, well doesn't care about title and speaks truth,

and you need to become that one day for someone else.

The second thing is every man needs a mentor. A

mentor is someone that's willing to give you their vision.

They're willing to give you their wisdom, and they're willing

to multiply in your life. A mentor says, I see

something in you that others do not see. I want

to develop something in you that others are not developing.

And every man needs to become a mentor to someone else,

and it is not age compliant. I had a very

present father in my life, in perfections, great things.

He does things that.

I wish I saw different, whatever it is, but I

still had a very active father in my home. He

was still there every night. If I call my dad,

he's there. He offers me a wisdom and advice. And

one thing I recognized when I became a youth pastor

at twenty two years old, is when half of my

kids didn't have active fathers. My heart broke because I

saw what they were missing. I saw where they were hurting.

And so over the years, there were a lot of

things that I had done specifically for young men that

didn't have fathers. I would drop them off at college

because their dad wasn't there to drop them off at college.

I would show up to their graduations because their dad

wasn't there for their graduation, or they were incarcerated for

their graduations. There were a lot of those. There were

young men that would when they would get married. I

would help teach them on how to how to get

a credit card or how to apply for an apartment.

And I'm twenty three, twenty four to twenty five years

old doing this for other young men that are twenty one,

twenty two. Some were twenty nine older than me, forty

some were. But when you call, when you say yes

to being a father, it's the heart of a father.

It's not age compliant. When you want to be a mentor,

it's not dependent upon what your access is. It's just

you being willing to be there for other people. That's

what a great mentor is. It's a willingness to be

there where others have not been. And the last thing

is every man needs a brother and needs to become

a brother.

What will a brother do? A brother will hold you accountable.

A brother will say, remember you said, remember you committed,

Remember your struggle. This isn't the best place to go,

or this isn't the best person to talk to you.

Remember the things you share. A brother will hold you

in line. And you need to become a brother that

holds others in line to what they say, to what

you expect for them. But what today tell you say, Hey,

keep me accountable to this. And so every man needs

a father, a mentor, and a brother. And what will

begin to see is God begin to do some things

within our culture of us as men say yes to

the call of God, allow God to begin to develop.

And you say, well, how do I do that without

a father? It's like I shared turn to your heavenly father.

He can lead you, he can guide you. But here

at Patria, go join a neighborhood group, get connected with

other men, begin to serve in areas.

Do life with other people.

And you'll see the thing about us being human is

that we're imperfect.

And so don't expect if you get a.

Father figure, or a mentor or a brother, that they're gonna

be the perfection of a father, the perfection of a mentor.

They still may fail, they still may make mistakes, but

they're human, and you will understand that you will make

mistakes and you will fall short. But that's why we

have a heavenly Father that will guide us and that

will never leave us nor forsake us. And so with

every head bow and every ice clothes, I'm just gonna

make one invitation as we leave here together, is if

you're here today, and you grew up without a father

and you have that piece missing, and you're saying today,

I don't want that orphan mentality anymore. I don't want

that condition anymore. I want God to heal areas in

my life. Or fatherlessness has created some wounds in my life,

but I want God to heal that. I'm gonna ask

you that if you're looking for healing from a fatherless

maybe your father was there but wasn't really around for

saying I need healing in that area, would you raise

your hand so that I could pray for you.

Thank you.

And Second, if you're here today and you're a father

or grandfather and you never had it, you never had

a father that showed you how to be a father,

and so you feel like you've been doing this on

your own. You feel like every step you take is

one that you're taking by yourself. You feel like, I

don't know what I'm doing. I've never seen this exhibited.

I'm doing all of this for the first time. And

you're saying, God, I need your help. I need your

help how to stay married. I need your help that

if I do get in a relationship, I don't want

to make the same mistakes my father made, whatever that is.

If you're saying I'm a father or a grandfather, and

I just I feel like I need God to continually

show me, give me direction. I feel like I don't

know how to do this on my own. Would you

raise your hand as well so that I could pray

for you?

Thank you.

Let's pray God right now, Lord, we commit these things

to you, Father God. I pray Lord that you would

heal these father wounds that we have today. Father God,

I pray Lord that as we have wounds, eventually they

heal and there are small scars. Lord, I pray God

that as you would begin to restore us, as you

would begin to heal us, Father God, that as those

scars begin to show, we may recognize what it was

in the past, but we can also say, God, we

thank you for healing the areas of our life that

have been broken, the areas of our life that have

been hurting.

Lord.

I pray Lord, if we look at that old toolbox

and it hurts us and it brings about shame or

anger or resentment, God, I just pray Lord that you

would begin to fill us with your grace. God God,

would you begin to Father us in areas that we've

never been fathered before.

Lord, I pray for those that are.

Fathering and grandfathering that need your help death, God, that

right now, God, you would fulfill them with all wisdom

and strength. God, show them the way, Jesus, as you

promised you would not leave us as orphans. So today, God,

would you show every man today what it means, what

it means to walk in wisdom, what it means to

walk in favor, what it means to stand with a

godly stature. Today, Father God, I pray Lord that when

they leave this place, they will be encouraged to fight

the good fight of faith to continue on insteadfastness. And

I just ask, if you're here today, I'll make an

invitation of faith of confession. If you've never given your

life to Jesus Christ, you're saying, today's the day that

I want to follow Jesus. The word of God makes

it clear those that have a relationship with a father

are those that have yet said yes to his son,

those that have believed in his death and resurrection, those

are willing that to repent and say.

God, I turn away.

It's not that you're going to live a perfect life,

but you're going to live a life where God is

with you and God shows you the way. If you're

ready to walk in obedience and receive Jesus as your

Lord and savior. I'm going to ask that we all

say this confession together. Would you say, Dear Lord Jesus,

in this place, I confess my sins. I believe in

my heart that you died on the cross and you

rose three days later. From this day forward, I choose

to follow you for the rest of my days.

In Jesus' name. Amen. Well, we celebrate with those that

have said.

Yes to Jesus today before you leave. If you said

yes to Jesus, you can go to our website ww

dot grow dot faith. We want to come alongside of

you and walk with you. If anyone here needs prayer today,

I know today is a bit of a heavy message,

but I wanted to encourage you and be able to

As it's heavy, it's also healing and so if you

need prayer at all, Elders, deacons and prayer team will

be up here in the front. Additionally, men, if you'd

like to receive the book that we have for you digitally,

you can go to Adamessa dot org. And we will

email you a copy of that today. God bless you family.

We'll see you on Wednesday or next Sunday.