The Power of One: Matt Loehr

Thank you, Matthew and worship team. I love the worship this morning. My name is Matt

Lair. Many have called me Mike this morning, so I need to wear a name tag. Pastor Daniel

and Sina are away with a death in the family or grandfather had passed. And on a moment's

notice, he asked me to come and fill the pulpit. I'm always humbled. And this morning,

what I want to do is dive deep into God's Word. I want to bring it to you this morning,

a message that he gave to me many, many years ago. So I think it's fitting that we just

say a quick prayer. Father, this morning, would you these words be yours, not mine?

And Father, would you inspire us and challenge us and change us? We give you all the credit

and all the glory. In your name I pray. Amen. Build for your team a feeling of oneness, of

dependence on one another, and of strength to be derived by unity. That's a famous speech

by Vince Lombardi. Does anybody know who Vince Lombardi coached? Yell it out loud. The Packers.

Vince Lombardi, NFL man of the decade, five NFL titles, two Super Bowl crowns, and in nine years,

and in countless other records. And I thought this morning, I'd like to talk to you about unity.

What does that mean? You see, he's not the first to coin the power of unity, and he's not the first

to write a speech on unity. Jesus has a lot to say about it. The word unity in its definition

is the state of being one, a whole, a totality of combining all of our parts into one. Here's

an interesting definition, Webster, the absence of diversity, the absence of division, one mind,

many people, incongruity, harmony, and agreement. An argument that I want to make this morning for

all of us is we can all reach our spiritual potential. The anointing and the calling that God

may have on every single one of you, that we can reach our spiritual potential if we can follow

these three simple steps. And step number one is become one with your church. I want to read this

passage. If you've got your Bibles, open them to John chapter 17, one of my favorite chapters in

John 17 · chapter mention

the Bible. And as you open it up, if you kind of look, it's about the last third, maybe fifth of

the Bible, it's in the New Testament, John chapter 17. We're going to start at verse nine. So as

John 17 · chapter mention

you're turning there, let me give you a little bit of a backdrop. Jesus is about to die on the

cross in the subsequent verses. He knows it. He knows he's about to die. He knows that he's coming

to an end. So he prays this special prayer up to God the Father and he orders something from God

for his disciples. This is fascinating to me. It's almost like right out of the movies. And he

prays to God the Father and he says, I'm ordering, I'm asking something from you to bestow upon the

disciples. And he literally says, I'm not praying for the world. I'm praying for them. Let's pick it

up at verse nine. Jesus says, I'm praying for them, the disciples. I'm not praying for the world,

but those you've given me, they're yours, the disciples, the 12. He says, all I have is yours

and all you have is mine. Remember, he's talking to God the Father. And he says, glory has come to

them through, has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer right there. He

knows I'm about to leave. Let's pause here for a second. If I'm walking with Jesus and I know he's

about to depart and this is what I would call one of his final prayers, one of his final prayers,

I'm leaning in on this one. I'm going to lean in on this one because it's a big one. It's a doozy.

And Jesus continues. They are still in the world and I'm coming to you Holy Father, protect them

by the power of your name, the name you gave me. Here it is. So that they may become one as you and

I are. That's it. That's the order that he put in. That's sort of like the miracle that he wants to

bestow upon the 12. And when I first read this nearly 20 years ago, I paused and I'm like,

that sounds a little vanilla to me. If I were Jesus and I had all the power in the universe and I

ordered up some special superpower for the 12, I would have ordered up something a little bit

more dramatic. But Jesus says, God, make him one. Make him one like you and me, God. He continues.

My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message.

Jesus is praying for you and me, all believers in the future through the disciples. He's also

praying for us and he orders up a special super, super powerful element for us as well. Here's

what he says. That all of them may become one. There it is again. He orders up oneness for the

disciples and he says, God, for all those who are going to believe in me oneness for them as well.

So he does it twice. Father, just as you are in me and I'm in you, may they also be in us that

the, here it is, that the world may believe you sent me. That's the output of the formula. That is

the reason he ordered up oneness is because oneness is powerful that the whole world will know him.

The whole world will know him through unity amongst the 12, amongst us, amongst the church,

amongst the family. Unity equals power. Unity equals, it equals influence. Unity is appealing,

it's attractive. It's like the best marketing plan ever. Jesus knows this and he says, oh,

God, make them one, make him help and get along, help them work together, take all their preferences

and all their wants and all their wishes and all their personalities and all their issues and help

them become one. Verse 22, I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may become one

as we are one. There are three times he says it, anytime Jesus says something three times. I'm gonna

write that down. I and them and you and me may, may, may they be brought to complete unity to let

the world know that you sent me and that you've loved them even as you've loved me. Three times he

said it and two times he answers the reason why. And it hit me as I was reading this years and years

ago, if that was his final prayer, if that was his mission, if that was his order, if that was his

focus, then what is Satan's number one mission in our lives? Yell at it really loud. Satan's mission

is to young ones, pay attention because this formula can shape the whole rest of your life.

Side note, during worship, I'm watching these young men raise their hands. Wow, that's a good

start. Well done church, well done mom and dad. You got youth in the front row raising their hands

during worship. Praise God. Step one, become one with your church. How? How do I become one?

Absence of division, absence of frustrations. Number one, if you're taking notes this morning,

this is what I always preach when I travel, is find out what my pastor's vision is, what's my

pastor's vision, what keeps my pastor awake at night and whatever keeps him awake at night,

that's my vision. Whatever his vision is, that's my vision. I'm gonna become one with him. What

keeps him awake? I want to know. I want to pray about it. I want to line up with it. I want to

be a good soldier, imperfect, yes, selfish at times, me, yes. I got my own preferences on how

the whole church should run, yes. But I want to line up with my pastor. I want him to know that

when he's not looking, I'm his soldier working hard to help carry out the orders that God put

on his heart. I want to be a good soldier. I want to become one with my church through a tithe and

giving. I want to become one with my church at volunteering and serving. Like I want to get in

there, is it messy? Yes, is it frustrating? Yes, you want to pull your hair out at times? Yes,

become one, serve, give. Get into small groups, become one, integrate my life with their life,

integrate my mindset, my thinking, integrate my values, integrate, integrate your family,

integrate, integrate, become one, become one, because Satan wants to divide the church. He wants

to divide us. He wants to divide our families, our marriages, our futures. He wants to divide

us from fellow believers. He wants to divide, divide, divide. You want to know why? He can't

take salvation from you, but here's what Satan says. I can't take you away from Jesus, but I can

cause your life to be so messed up. You're so busy tending to your frustrations in a broken marriage

and broken friendships and broken relationships that your handcuff, you're paralyzed, you're not a

warrior for Jesus. You're paralyzed with all your pain and all your hurt and all your suffering.

And he knows that he can neutralize and paralyze a warrior with division. How many of you know

this morning that your life, your life is like a symphony, your life is like a music that whether

you know it or not, that your life displays music and you can't hide it and people can hear it and

it's either beautiful or it's not. And when the Holy, when you're in sync with the Holy Spirit,

your life plays a beautiful music that's appealing, attractive, magnetic and people want it. How do

I get it? Where do I get that? And to make an illustration, I've asked the band to come forward.

Come on up. And I've asked them to play 60 seconds of a tune and every instrument, multiple gifts,

different people, different preferences, different personalities, but God has unified them to play

a beautiful sound that's appealing, attractive, magnetic and when we hear it, we want it. This is

when we're in step with the spirit. 60 seconds. Go ahead, Matthew. Lead them.

Silence, the roaring lion, declare the grave, has your claim on me. Jesus, yours is the victory.

Hallelujah, praise the Lord who set me free. Let's pause. Let's pause. Different people, different

gifting, different preferences, different personalities, different wants and wishes,

different dreams, but unified. Doesn't this sound beautiful, huh? Does it sound good? Yeah, give

them a little love. It's okay. But what's Satan's mission? It's divide. So I've asked them to

rotate instruments by one and play the same song. Go ahead and rotate. Same people, same

gifting, same talent, but divided. And I've asked them to make sure that they're on an

instrument they don't know how to play. And so let's see what this sounds like. Are you ready

for this? All right. Matthew, lead them.

One, two, ready, go.

Good morning, I see your promise. You're very bright. He gets to breathe out of the

sky. All right, all right, all right, all right. Let's give him some love, everybody. Good job,

good job. Memorable, funny maybe, but it's true. When there is division in the church and in my

marriage and in my friendships and in my life, the music, I can't hide it. It sounds like that

second version. And when people hear it, they don't want any part of it. They don't want to be near

me. They don't, there's nothing that's magnetic or appealing. And Jesus knows this and he says,

hey, there's going to be a lot of personality clashes and preferences clashes. And he said,

God, make them one, help them get along, help them, help them all point in the same direction.

For the last 20 years, I've been in full-time ministry in churches all over the country. I've

seen enough. Tart breaking. Satan's mission is to divide you from your pastor, your godly friends,

hang on to your godly friends like they're a lifeline. It's what I heard about the Salt Company

at Iowa, the University of Iowa. What a miracle that is. What a great resource that is for young

kids coming up to become one with fellow believers while you're in college. And our college is

today, right? Amen? Become one with your church. When there's clashing preferences, find the high

road and take it. It's okay to share your clashing preference once, but don't turn your

preferences into moral rights and wrongs in marriage and friendships and sure, like let's not

turn our preferences, our preferences into moral rights and wrongs. I'll argue being in, I live in

the world of conflict. I live in the arena of conflict in marriages and churches and families.

And often 99% of our arguments, it's not over moral things. It's just clashing preferences. And the

truth is a lot of it's just my selfishness. I'm a selfish person. And often we take our differences

of opinions and we make them moral rights and wrongs. That's not even true or fair. So here's a

phrase my dad taught me. Find the high road and take it. In conflict with Pam, my wife, find the

high road, Matt, and take it. Find the high road, the humble road. Unity is important because who

cares who's right and wrong. When my life is playing that second rendition, it really doesn't

matter who's right or wrong. It's pretty ugly. And Jesus knows this. It's like, Matt, you're not

going to be a good witness. You're not going to draw people into me. Your friends are not going to

find out who I am because your life is a disaster. Become one with the church. Give your pastor mercy.

If there was one thing I could say to congregations all over the world is give your pastor extra

mercy. Give him extra grace because it's a hard job. It's a hard job. Give him extra. You know what

I always say, I'm going to give you the same mercy pastor that I would need if I were the

senior pastor. Hey, my senior pastor, where I go to church, I'm going to give you 10 times more

mercy as if I were you. I'm going to give you the amount of mercy that I would want or need.

Because who am I? Unity. I want people to come into this church and hear this great worship

team. I want them to be around us in every church that's a Bible teaching, God honoring church,

and I want them to be drawn and I want to keep them. How? Unity. Unity. Unity. Unity.

Matthew chapter 12 verse 25, Jesus knew their thoughts and he said, every kingdom divided

Matthew 12:25

against itself will be ruined and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.

Division is destruction. So number one, become one with your church. Number two, become one with a

godly friend. Okay, one with my church and now one with a godly friend, a godly friend, a biblical

friend, not just somebody who knows about Jesus, but I need a wingman. Every man in this room needs

a wingman. Every young man, the rest of your whole life, you need a wingman, at least one. And if

that guy moves away, get a different one. And every woman, you could do with a wingwoman. I just

made that up. It's a new word, wingwoman. Wingman doesn't sound right. Do you have somebody that

you can share everything with, bear your soul, the good, the bad, the ugly, pray together, cry

together, spur each other on, hold each other accountable, say the hard things that need to

be said? Do you have someone that loves you enough to say the hard truth? Because Satan wants you.

Satan wants you to be entrapped into sin and entrapped into things that keep you from being a

warrior. And sometimes I need a wingman to help. Grab me by the back of the neck and yank me out

of where my head is and my heart and my attitude and my habit. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 through 12 says,

two are better than one. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. A pity the man or woman,

who falls and they have no one. Who are your friends? Have you ever done an assessment of your

friends? Have you ever done a biblical assessment of your friends? Like here's my number one thing.

Do they love Jesus? Like do they love me enough to confront me? I've got two or three or four. Listen,

I was born with a wingman in the womb. I remember Mike and I were fighting in the womb one time.

And we were about to come out into the world and my cord was wrapped around his neck and he couldn't

get out and I was kicking him in the head and he started crying like a little baby.

So then he comes out that way and then I come out to Syria and I beat him to the world

and we're best friends ever since. In every sense of the word, he's my wingman. I've got others.

You know, there's two problems. When you look at your wingman or you look at your wingwoman,

number one, is their moral compass God's word? Is their moral compass God's word? If it is,

hallelujah. But if it's not, you're in trouble because 99% of the time I lower my moral compass

to match my friends. I rarely pull my friends up to mine. I rarely can take an immoral friend

who I have, who I put in my inner circle, my first tier friend, and I rarely, it's rarely possible

to bring that friend up to my level. I lower mine. So that's problem number one. Problem number two,

and this is more of a guy problem, is we don't have anybody. We're a low ranger.

So Satan comes knocking on our door, we get entrapped into things and there's no one.

I've fallen. I've fallen to sin. I got no one. Become one with a godly friend. It's all over

scripture. I could give you 10 examples. Who's your wingman? I wrote a whole book on it called

Who's Got Your Back? How to Find One, How to Get Into Accountability, How to Make It a Lifestyle,

How to Go Deep. I've been meeting with guys for 20 some years. We hide nothing. We share a battle

with lust. We share our sin. We confess our sins. We grab each other by the back of the neck from

time to time. One of them in our group has recovered from alcoholism. I mean, listen, it's a raw deal.

It's all out there on the table. Why? Why? Because I know myself. I know that if I don't have this,

I'm in trouble. I know my sin nature. I know me. Become one with the church. If I want to reach my

spiritual potential, if I want my anointing to flow and fall upon me, become one with the church and

become one with a godly friend. Find the high road and take it. I love that in my group because

they bring conflict to the table every week. My group does. My three or four buddies say,

well, my wife is in my wife. Hey, knock it off. It's the best thing you'll ever get anyway.

Love her anyway. You go home. You be the best husband you could ever be. You love her no matter what.

You give her affection. You stay plugged in. You keep communicating with her. You serve her.

Your job number one is to serve her. And oh, by the way, find the high road and take it with her

every single time. That's what accountability looks like. How about you? Are you a lone ranger this

morning? You got nobody? Get into a life group. Talk to your leaders about how to get into a men's

group. I heard lately that your men's group is taking off and it's really, really powerful.

Don't be alone. I guarantee you I would fall to massive trouble if I was a lone ranger.

Become one with the church. Become one with a godly friend to reach your spiritual potential

and stay there. Stay there. And number three, become one with your spouse. If you're not married yet,

tune in because I'm going to speak to you because marriage is coming to you soon and who you pick

to be a life partner will have everything to do with your anointing and your calling flowing at

the highest level. So you better pick carefully. You better be an investigator, young man. Investigate

that she loved Jesus. Does she really truly wanting to follow the Lord? And can I really become one

with her spiritually? Because if she doesn't know Jesus, doesn't love Jesus, that's trouble.

That'll mess up your anointing. That'll mess up your calling quicker than anything.

Investigate. Young ladies, investigate your guy. If he doesn't love Jesus, he doesn't follow Jesus

and have him prove it over time. And number two, make sure that he's respectful to his parents.

Make sure that he loves his mom and his dad and he's respectful to them. If he's disrespectful to

his parents, walk away. If he doesn't care about Jesus, walk away. Don't go on one date because

your heart can fall so quickly for somebody that doesn't know Jesus. And all of a sudden,

you're unequally yoked. You can't become one. It's not possible to become one with someone

that doesn't love Jesus when you do. That's why I waited till I was 37 to get married.

God sent me Pam. Wow, what a miracle that was.

She loves Jesus more than anybody I know. She's a warrior. She's on her knees praying over

all conflict in life. She always wants to find the high road and take it with her family and her

friends and her loved ones and issues outside of our marriage and moral dilemmas. And she always

is on her knees. And because she loves Jesus and I love Jesus, we're flawed. But because of this,

we can become one. Matthew 19.6 says, So there are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has

joined together, let no man separate. And Malachi, it says God hates divorce. You wonder why God

hates divorce? Because he loves you. It's not over a law or a rule. He knows divorce is painful.

He knows that it costs pain and hurt and division. And most people that go through a divorce,

they give up everything they're involved in with ministry. And all they're calling and all

they're anointing is either short circuited or it's done forever or it's done for quite some time

if they ever come back to it at all. And their children are caught in the crossfire. And it

breaks God's heart. And if you're here this morning and you're remarried, listen, great. I pray God

bless the marriage you're in abundantly. But you've been through some pain, haven't you?

And there's mercy and grace on the other side of a divorce. But let's make the marriage you're in

the best it could ever be. Why? So that your life plays music that glorifies God. That your life,

your neighbors, your friends, your coworkers, people coming into the church, they come around

here and they're like, man, I want what she's got. I want what they've got. I want what he's got.

What a brilliant message Jesus gave. What a brilliant prayer that he gave. Be negotiable

in marriage. I'll give you a couple quick one-liners. The degree to which you're negotiable and

collaborative in your marriage will almost always equal the degree to which you're happy.

Like Pam and I, when we started, we were, this wasn't our strength. I was a strong-willed opinionated

guy. She's a strong-willed opinionated woman. And we clashed and our preferences clashed. And our

preferences clashed. Just like in church, our preferences, preferences, preferences. And one

day we both woke up and said, oh my goodness, we're immature. Our issue is we're immature.

Let's grow up spiritually and let's grow up relationally and let's start serving each other.

And guess what? All of our stress went away. I became far more negotiable. She became more

negotiable. She became far more negotiable. We became far more collaborative. Two strong-willed

people that have very strong opinions. And usually they're opposing. One morning I realized how far

I'd come. I realized how far Pam had influenced me. I get out of bed. And this is how I know.

This is how I know the Holy Spirit's working. I get out of bed and I take 14 pillows and I neatly

put them on my bed. The long one and then there's the roly-poly one. And I, man, I tighten up that

top cover and I'm thinking, why am I doing this? This is stupid. You want to know why I do it?

Because I love Pam. Because she asked me to do it. Did I grow up doing it? No. Ladies, how many

pillows do you have in your house, by the way? Too many? Can you count them? Do you have holiday

pillows and seasonal pillows? I want to take a samurai sword to every pillow in my house.

Pam went deer hunting with me a few years ago. I gave her some antlers in a grunt and I put

her 50 yards out and asked her to grunt and rattle every 20 minutes and she did. Why? Because she

loves me. Be negotiable. Unity matters. Unity between Pam and I matters. Unity matters because if

there's friction between us, we're, our vehicle's dead. I can't be a warrior. I can't be a, I can't

be out swinging the sword for Jesus and so that more would know who he is when my marriage is

broken down and I'm hurting and I'm angry and she's bitter and I'm bitter. And so if you hear this

morning and maybe that's you, get help. Get help. I, I'd go get counseling every year if I had to.

First of all, she deserves it. And second of all, this was Jesus' final prayer. He's like, hey,

Satan's coming after you. Take it serious. Get help. Young ones, be careful who you pick

and I'll wrap up this morning with, with two words, two of the most powerful words you'll ever hear

that will create unity right now, like right now. It'll create unity in every situation right now,

at least in your heart. Repent and forgive. Repent and forgive. Repent and forgive. Oh, oh, Pam,

I'm sorry for my sin and I forgive you for yours. Come here. Come here, Pam. I'm sorry. Hey, Pastor,

I, I repent for my part and I forgive you for yours. Come here, Pastor. Oh, co-worker, oh, friend,

oh, neighbor, oh, whomever. Oh, man, I, man, I'm sorry. I, I didn't take the high road with you.

That's on me. It doesn't even matter who's right or wrong. I repent. I forgive. And you know what's

funny? The Holy Spirit will fall upon you. Unity will come back like that. Your heart,

stay soft and teachable by the Lord. The music starts to play again in a beautiful way in your

soul and it comes out in your actions and your attitude and your emotions. And all of a sudden,

that thing that Jesus says that if and when you're won, the world will know. The world will know my

power through you, but not if you're divided. So what? So what, Matt? I like to finish a sermon

with a so what moment. So what are you going to do about it? I got a few thoughts for some of you.

Maybe you go home and talk about it with your spouse. Just talk about the, the one with the

church, one with your friends and one with each other. And is there work to be done?

That's one thing you could do. Or if you're not married, talk with your buddies. Hey,

we're not married. Let's talk about how to pick the right person. Let's talk about it.

Let's talk about oneness in our group. Is this, could we go a notch higher and one in the church?

How can I become more one with my church? Who, who, who should I call this afternoon?

I said, man, I'm sorry. Hey, hey, son, daughter, mother, father, brother, sister, co-worker,

pastor. Man, I'm sorry. Hey, listen, I forgive everything, but I'm asking you to forgive me.

Maybe that's a so what for you this morning. I'll promise you one thing. The Holy Spirit

will fall upon you. And if this becomes your lifestyle, you will find your anointing in your

calling and it will thrive. Become one with your church. Become one with a godly warrior.

And become one with your spouse. Let's pray. Father, as we close this morning,

I hope and pray that this second rendition of this band up here sticks with us for a long time.

Father, that might, if that be my life, that that be anyone's life in the room right now,

that they get ahold of this message this morning and get on their knees and start with you. Oh,

God, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. And then they start making phone calls. Get marriage mentoring,

get in a life group, get in a men's group, get in a women's group. Why, Lord? So you be glorified.

So your name be lifted high. So young children are watching and learning and doing.

Amen. I pray all this in your holy name. Amen.