Loving Your Family With Your Words | Pastor Michael

Hi, calling family.

This is Pastor Michael.

And welcome to our church podcast.

I'm so grateful for you tuning in today.

And I believe today's message is gonna strengthen your faith in Jesus.

And the message title is this Loving Your Family with Your Words.

Loving Your Family with Your Words.

One of the best ways you can choose to love your family is not to buy things from Amazon and Target and uh all the different stores.

One of the easiest ways, or maybe for some hardest ways and best ways to love your spouse, to help your marriage heal, to be healthy, to love your brothers and your sisters, is to speak words of life and edification and of love over your family.

Someone say amen.

I love there's some quotes here, one by Emily Dickinson.

A word is dead when it is said.

Some say, I say it just begins to live that day.

Let me say that again.

Emily Dickens says, a word is dead when it is said.

Some say, but I say it just begins to live that day.

The tongue doesn't have many bones, uh, any bones, but it has power to break someone's heart.

Tomorrow you I like this one.

Tomorrow, say tomorrow.

Tomorrow you'll have to live with what you said.

Words are free, but it's how you use them that may cost you.

One of the things that's as we, you know, the background of the book of Ephesians, Ephesians, or the background of this text in Ephesians chapter 4, is Paul is writing to the church, say, church, these letters are written to the churches, and the letter is supposed to be circulated among the churches.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

And Paul the Apostle is writing to the church in Ephesus, uh, to the families and the households of the church and Ephesus, which were thousands of people.

And Paul is saying, when it comes to your family in the church, all right, the households, that you no unwholesome talk is to be shared, but only for the edification of building others up.

So, in part, uh his letter is not only for families and the household, all right, staff and volunteers and leaders, it is also for the church itself.

That we must use words of love and guidance.

So, my first point is this: why do our words matter according to the Bible?

Why do our words matter according to the Bible?

Because our God does not use words to beat us down, to bring us down.

He doesn't use his tongue like a lash to hurt us or harm us.

And if you've been walking with the Lord for any time in your life, you know that when God speaks, God speaks the life.

Come on, somebody.

God, you could be you could have sinned, and on your worst day, God doesn't beat you up, God brings you up.

Someone say amen.

And anytime you hear a voice within your mind or your heart of something tearing you up, I will tell you right now, it's not God.

It's sin.

God's voice is about bringing conviction and building you up and guiding you like a green garden full of blossoms and color is what God does for your soul.

Someone say amen.

I love that.

It's my daughter saying, Amen.

I will never forget.

This is not a family member, but maybe someone close to being a family member.

When I was in theology school getting my Bible degree, by the way, I I uh I made the dean's list.

Come on, somebody.

I studied hard, all right.

I try to teach it so we can help uh every week, which is one of my passions.

But I'll never forget one of my professors, a doctor, who is my teacher.

Uh he was a teacher in the book of Romans.

He specifically taught the book of Romans.

He knew this book left and right, memorized it.

He knew every verse in the book of Romans.

I mean, I was so impressed with him.

The class was so impressed with him, he was just like, wow, like a scientist, so to speak, with a Bible, a true theologian.

I'll never forget when it came to my senior year, he handed me a note card.

Until this very day, those words touched my life.

He wrote in that note card, Michael, I cannot wait.

You are one of my students this year, and I cannot wait for you to be a colleague of mine when you graduate.

I was floored.

I made me tear up.

I thought, man, this man has all kinds of letters uh uh behind his name.

He has a doctorate degree and this degree and that degree, but what he is doing is he was building me up, he was believing in me, he was inspiring me.

Let me tell us parents the biggest thing that you can do for your children is not just buy them a toy, but build them up with your words.

Someone say, Amen.

Build your children up with your words.

What if you went home today, even though they can be a rug rat?

What if you told your children I believe in you?

What if you told your children, and by the way, I believe this.

I don't think you can tell your children enough, I love you.

Come on, somebody.

You can't tell your children enough, I love you.

Why?

Because they're growing up in a society that will try to confuse them and lose them.

But when your love, your words help encourage them, inspire them, move them, and build somebody say amen.

Come on, y'all.

How about this?

How about for how about for your husband?

You keep telling him, wife, to do something every day, and he somehow forgets it.

My wife, I kid you not.

I've been going and we've had a baby.

I've been doing some of the shopping.

God bless you, women.

It's not easy, okay?

I feel like a lost man in the store.

And for the last few times consecutively, I have forgotten the butter.

My wife says, Did you are you playing with me, boy?

And I said, I didn't see it.

I'm so sorry.

I skipped it.

But uh, how about this?

And my wife, by the way, is an amazing encourager.

She's an amazing encourager, by the way.

But how about this?

So this doesn't apply to her because she's perfect.

Points, points, points.

All right.

Uh there's Jesus and then Karine Alfaro.

I know, Michael Alfaro.

Well, I'm just kidding.

All right.

Well, watch this.

How about for some of us wives who are frustrated with their husbands?

You told them this, you tell them to do this every day.

And so, and by the way, wives, your husband's got a lot on his plate.

You might not think it, by the way, you're you're our hus uh we we don't know how to express ourselves.

We know how to tell you how we feel all the time.

We don't know how we feel, so cut the guy a break for a second.

All right, but how about build your husband up in the name of Jesus?

I love you, husband.

I care about you, husband.

Husband, you're the best thing that has happened to me.

Come on, somebody, say amen.

That's how you build up your marriage.

And by the way, biblically in Ephesians, when I marry people, I speak on Ephesians chapter 5.

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

And when when you when you build up your wife and you build up your husband with your words, you're building yourself up.

Someone say amen.

Come on, somebody.

When you when you speak up, when you speak kindly to your wife, it's gonna reciprocate, if not someday, in Jesus' name.

Come on, y'all.

Amen.

All right, our words matter.

Now, let's be honest.

We have cousins, we have kids, we have older kids, we have grandchildren, we have brothers and sisters in this place that we may not all get along with.

We may not see eye to eye, we may not agree on the same kind of ice cream or TV shows.

Come on, somebody.

But the Bible says that we must be careful what we speak.

Why?

Because the Bible does say that we will be held accountable for every word we speak.

Wow.

Every word we speak will be held in account.

And I would go as far as to argue theologically, even what your thumbs are doing on the message chats, on the messages, on your text messages and on Instagram.

Come on, somebody, say amen.

We people think that they can just run amok and not think about the repercussions.

There will be, and not if in this life, but the next.

Someone say amen.

All right.

Words matter, the Bible says, because God used words to create our existence and our reality.

The spoken word, God said, Let there be light and there was light.

God said, Let there be this and there was that.

And he saw that it was good.

Do you know that our your words create the reality and environment that you speak?

Someone say, Amen.

You with me?

I'm gonna I'm gonna move on real quick.

So I'm gonna I don't want to teach, I can exhaust the uh I can teach exhaustively on the book of Ephesians, but I know we have our kids here.

My kids love this, and in my office, I love to obviously I love to teach and preach.

I have a show and uh ray, just uh uh shout out, which if you know what this is, just shout it out.

What do you actually goes this way?

Shout out, what is this thing?

A horse bit.

That's right.

My kids for a while thinking, uh-oh, did you do something bad?

Pastor Mike, Daddy, the cops are gonna lock you up.

That's what they thought for a while.

Well, but watch this.

The Bible says this, I don't think we have for the screen, but the Bible says this in James chapter 3, verse 3.

James 3:3

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.

Watch this.

This is a a one pound or less bit.

This goes into the mouth of a 1200-pound horse, and by putting the reins on these rings, you can control the whole course of the animal.

The Bible says it goes on to say this in James chapter 1, verse 26.

James 1:26

We have this.

If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.

Oh, come on, somebody.

Wow.

In other words, if we believe in God and we love God and we receive the forgiveness and the mercy and the grace of God, we are called to not be a dam and hoard that, but we're called to be like a river blessing others with what God has shown us.

Someone say, Amen.

You guys with me?

Amen.

So watch this.

This little bit, all right, has the ability to control a whole animal.

And what the Bible is saying is that we need to learn to tame the tongue.

We need to learn to control what you say.

Come on, y'all with me right now.

That's why when we're filled with emotion and anger, we need to walk away for a moment.

Hallelujah.

Amen, right?

By the way, the Bible says a lot about anger in Ephesians chapter 4 or 5.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

Okay.

So this bit teaches us that words can set a course for your own life.

Watch this for a second.

For many of us in our lives, it's not the world just beating us down, or even the enemy beating us down.

For a lot of times, it's our own insecurity beating us down.

The words of other people who we so-called loved us had used words and poisoned us.

And it has hurt us.

And for some of us, we wake up and we tell ourselves the first thing in the morning, we are not worthy, we're not good enough, we're not worthy of love, I'm not gonna amount to anything, I'm not gonna do a good job.

You know, one of the ways that will change your tongue and change the way you speak is allowing the Holy Spirit to transform your heart.

Someone say, Amen.

The one of the ways that we can change our words, watch this, children.

One of the ways that we can change our words is to get into the word.

It's to get into the word.

And watch this when we when we digest this word rather than beat ourselves up, we need to quote the word.

Come on, y'all.

I'm going to the doctors this week.

Lord, in Jesus' name, you said you have good plans for me.

Plans to prosper me and not to harm me in Jesus' name.

Lord, I don't feel like I'm worthy enough.

Well, you said in the Bible, Lord, that I am the apple of your eye.

God, it says in your word that you chose me and that you will never forsake me.

Oh wow, isn't those healing, those words healing balm?

Lord, I thank you that even though I feel alone, I am never lonely.

Because you said you would always be be with me even unto the end of the age.

Lord, you said in the word that you've completely forgiven me, that I'm covered by your blood.

And who, if uh if you are for me, then who can be against me?

Lord, who's that guy?

What are you gonna say?

In Jesus' name.

You guys with me.

All right.

So our words matter.

Second point, real quick.

How do I love my family with my words?

It means to control our tongues, like we were talking about.

You know what a chef does before he sends the food out?

A good chef, by the way.

We actually we have a chef here.

We have all kinds of different people here in our church.

Uh, you know what they do?

Chefs taste the food, literally, before they send it out to you.

They make sure that there's seasoned right, that it tastes right, that it's digestible, that it's savory, so that way it goes well with you.

One of the methods that we can utilize before we utter words, especially when we're in our emotions, is if it doesn't taste right, don't send it out.

Someone say amen.

We need to taste our words before sending them out.

And if they sound bitter, if they feel better, bitter, if they feel resentful, then it takes then we need to not send it out.

And by the way, another thing that we can check ourselves before wreck we wreck ourselves, is to raise your words, not your anger.

Raise your words, not your anger.

Rain grows flowers, not thunder.

Rain grows flowers, not thunder.

How about this?

God told me to tell us this.

Because we know we we have emotions when it comes to people.

What if we go to God first before you go to that individual?

What if you tell God how you feel about that individual and this God and that God?

This is what they did to me.

How about you go to Him first and pour it out onto God at the foot of the cross and let the Holy Spirit pour grace into you before you go to that person?

Someone say, Amen.

Lord, I feel this way, Lord, this hurt me.

They said this.

Some of us are still hanging on to words that people said 10 years ago.

Come on, somebody.

Some people are in the grave and their words are still torturing us.

But what how do I how do I get beyond that, Pastor Michael?

Forgiveness.

Come on, it's time to let them go.

Come on.

It's time to let them allow people to set free right here in the domain, right?

Between the ears.

You guys with me?

Forgiveness.

And Jesus ultimately said this out of the abundance of the mouth, excuse me, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

So what comes out of your mouth really originates from the heart.

And so, really, it's not just a word problem or a mouth problem.

It's a heart problem.

It's a heart problem.

And so, what God is telling us today, that broken and painful words come from a broken and painful heart.

And what the Lord desires to do, and what he's a master at, he's the Lord and Savior.

He is really good at repairing broken hearts and painful hearts.

Someone say, Amen.

Amen.

I love that.

God will heal your broken heart.

So, Pastor Michael, I know what you're saying.

You're saying just speak right and talk right.

And you know, I didn't grow up that way.

Let me tell you, brother, sister, I didn't either.

I didn't either.

And at times in my life, I've struggled deeply with this sermon.

By the way, the chef has tasted this food and it's it's good.

Come on, somebody.

And the way that God has helped me in my life, in my anger or my pain and my brokenness is going to the healer.

Someone say amen.

It's going to the healer.

And so the way that God will change your speech and change the way you speak is offering your heart to your Lord and Savior and saying, Lord, this is what has broken me.

This is what has hurt me.

And Lord, before you take over my tongue, before you take over my lips, Lord, take over my heart.

Come on, somebody, take over my heart.

I give my whole heart to you because I want my heart to be pure before you.

I want the meditation and the words of myself to be uh pure before you.

Come on, someone say amen.

I want to be a person, Lord, filled with life so that I can speak life to my marriage, so that I can speak life to my coworkers, so that I can speak life to my children, so that I can speak life to my church.

Someone say amen.

See, there are two kinds of people in this life: there are vultures and then there are hummingbirds.

Which one are you?

Vultures hang around death, the shadows, they're always eating dead things.

But hummingbirds are around life, they're around blossoms, they're around the color colors that make life so vibrant.

So watch this today.

God wants to heal your broken life.

He wants to forgive your past, and he wants to help you forgive those who've put poison inside of you so that you don't reciprocate that to those that you love.

Someone say amen.

All right.

Last but not least is this.

I love what the scripture says.

You guys with me?

We're almost done, all right?

We're almost done.

By the way, I love preaching the word because there's just so much goodness in it.

Come on, y'all.

There's so much truth, there's so much meat.

I mean, come on with us.

We can stay here for a long time.

I mean, we won't do that, all right?

But there's just so much goodness.

And by the way, the Bible says that it has the power to save your soul.

So if your soul is hurting, your soul is broken, not only give God your heart, but give God your time with the word of God.

Come on, y'all.

There's a scripture for you this morning.

God has something in his word to help you go through what you're going through.

You're gonna make it, you're gonna get through it.

Somebody say, Amen.

All right.

The last but not least is this.

I love what the scripture says in Ephesians.

And God wanted me to tell us this.

It says, can we bring it on the screen?

Uh verse 30.

It says this do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.

And that means lack.

What people lack.

Watch this.

There's people all around you, your family, your co-workers, you yourself.

We all lack something in our lives.

How about be the person that builds somebody up with where they lie?

Amen.

It goes on to say this, verse 30, and do not grieve.

And this theologians say how we know that the Holy Spirit is a person, because he can grieve uh it says not to grieve, he can be grieved.

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God with which you've been sealed for the day of redemption.

I love that the apostle says, he says, Don't let don't let bad words come out of your mouth.

And he and he does this last little bit where he says, You've been sealed uh with the Holy Spirit.

In other words, a seal is a stone or a signet ring that marks something like clay or wax.

And what a seal does is it shows ownership.

Say ownership.

Say ownership.

It shows ownership.

In other words, watch this.

The Bible is saying, don't talk that way.

Say with me, don't talk that way.

Say with me, don't talk that way.

Say with me, don't talk that way.

The Bible's saying, don't talk that way.

Why?

Because you have been sealed with the ownership of God by through the Holy, through the Holy Spirit.

Let me tell you, church, you've been chosen, you are a royal priesthood, you've been called by God at the calling church to live up to His uh to God's call and and your uh and all the plans that He has for you.

In other words, you are not a nobody, you are a somebody in heaven.

Someone say Amen.

So the Bible is saying God has forgiven us, God has uh uh deposited spirit in us, and and now what he is saying, Ephesians chapter 4, by the way, you've been made alive in Christ.

Ephesians 4 · chapter mention

Put that old life behind you, step into the new life.

Someone say, Amen.

That's a reminder for us.

You have new life in Christ.

We haven't been sealed by God, we belong to God.

We belong to God.

Why?

We've been sealed by God with the Holy Spirit, He owns our lives.

So, in other words, we'll Some of us love to talk about other family members.

But it hurts our testimony.

Come on, somebody.

It hurts our testimony.

Don't be around gossip.

And don't be the one to spark gossip.

Be the one to bring life and edification.

This world is broken.

There's people who are broken all around you.

And I know that Jesus wants to heal and build people up all around you.

So your assignment is before you let it out, taste the words like a chef.

Don't raise your voice.

Thunder doesn't grow the flowers.

Sunshine grows flowers.

And water grows flowers.

And here's the other assignment.

This today, I think God is saying this to us.

Take what you feel to God before you take it to them.

Go to God.

Go to God, pour it out.

You know what?

God is not intimidated by He's not intimidated by anything.

He's Almighty God.

Do you know even the devil is scared of God?

Come on, somebody.

Just to give you a heads up, even the devil is scared of God.

He is almighty.

He is great.

He is worthy.

He is holy.

He can take what you feel.

Even if you're upset with him, tell him.

Pour it out.

Say, pour it out.

Pour it out so the Holy Spirit can pour grace within.

Come on, some amen.

Alright, let's have every head bowed and every eye closed just for a moment.

Just talked about a message when it comes to our loving our families with our words.

You know, Lord, how we feel about certain family members.

You know what we go through.

We have children, we are parents, we we work, God, we put food on the table.

As parents, there's a lot of things that we go through.

So, Lord, the thing that is hurting us, help us with it, Holy Spirit.

We bring it before you, we pour it out to you.

We forgive those people, Lord, who've hurt us, and we don't want to reciprocate hurt and pain.

We want to reciprocate what you've done in our life.

Healing us, loving us, forgiving us.

Your mercies are new every single morning.

And so, Lord, my prayer is that you give people a fresh heart, a clean slate.

We come before we choose to go so that we can embrace the good things and the good plans and the refreshing soul and the abundant life that you have for us.

Father, right now, there's someone thinking about something that's how someone has hurt them in their life.

But right now we choose to let it go and put our focus on you.

We trust you.

I want to take a moment right now, even with the kids in the room, every head bowed and every eye closed, just for a moment.

I have a very important question to ask this morning.

I ask it every single Sunday, as a as almost in an evangelistic way.

Life does not make sense unless you know the author, the one who made you.

Your soul will always be restless until you find until you accept Jesus, your maker, in your life as Lord and Savior.

Your soul will be restless until it finds its rest in its maker, who is Jesus.

Maybe you come in here heavy-hearted, maybe you brought your family and you're heavy-hearted.

Maybe there I'm speaking right now, the Holy Spirit is telling you to let it go.

Maybe there's someone you need to forgive, but the most important thing is this have you received the forgiveness of Jesus Christ?

The Bible says, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

My wife, who is, I would say, almost sinless, she's a she's an angel, but even my wife is sinful.

The most well-intentioned person, your grandma, who is the sweetest grandma in the world, is sinned.

All have sinned, the Bible says, and fallen short of the standard of God's glory and perfection.

Sin simply means missing the mark.

And the Bible says that God sent his one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins.

And anyone who puts their faith in him and their trust in him, not only will be made new, will be healed, will be forgiven and given mercy, compassion.

God has an abundant life for you, a life of wholeness, a life of peace, a life of forgiveness.

The Bible will call it a new life, say new life.

God has a new life for you.

I always say this: you can buy a new suit that'll make you a new man.

What makes a man a new man is the spirit with living within the man.

Or a spirit living within a new woman and in your heart.

The Holy Spirit will, God says, when you accept Christ as your Lord, He will deposit the Holy Spirit inside of you and make you new, a new creature.

So here we go.

Pastor Michael, say no more.

I know I need forgiveness.

I know I need God.

I'm here because I want to I want to pursue Him this morning.

So here's what I'm asking.

I'm gonna ask you to do.

I'm not gonna put a mic in your face, I'm not gonna ask you to the pulpit, I'm not gonna put a spotlight on you.

Simply, what I'm gonna ask you to do, honestly, I'm gonna do something different today.

I'm gonna ask you to stand up and be bold to receive Jesus.

Here's why.

Because the Bible says this that if you if you don't stand for Jesus before men, essentially, he won't stand for you in heaven.

Why not make a stand for the one who gave his life for you and don't be ashamed of it?

He loves you, he has great purpose and hope for you.

So you say, Pastor Michael, I need Jesus, I want to give my heart to him.

So here's what I'm gonna do.

On the count of three, every head is bowed, every eye is closed.

Even if it's one of you that is worthwhile, and the angels in heaven rejoice.

And if you're online, please connect with your chat hosts.

So here we go.

On the count of three, I want to walk with Christ, and we're gonna say a prayer together.

Here we go.

Ready?

One, two, three.

Anyone else?

I want to give my life.

Amen.

I'm so proud of you, sir.

God bless you, amen.

I'm so proud.

Make a stand for Jesus, amen.

God bless you over there, so proud of you.

And you can stand with your children too.

What a beautiful thing to do.

God bless you.

God bless you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you in Jesus' name.

Anyone else?

I'm gonna just take a moment, just 30 seconds.

Anyone else?

Don't be ashamed.

In this place, we are so proud of you.

We're so proud of you.

Amen.

I see you over there.

God bless you.

I see you over there on this side.

One, two, three, four, five.

Anyone else?

God bless you.

Amen.

I see you right there.

Awesome.

All right.

I'm gonna have you a six, seven.

I'm gonna have you all stand up together.

Come on, the count of three.

One, two, three.

Let's all stand up together.

Come on with our brothers and sisters.

Give the Lord a mighty clap.

So good.

Come on.

Give him a good clap.

So good.

Amazing.

I'm so proud of you.

That's meaningful.

That's meaningful.

And that's important.

And your life comes when you accept Christ.

Amen.

Alright, let's pray a prayer together.

Say, uh, bow your heads, let's close our eyes.

Say, dear God, thank you for sending Jesus to die for my sins.

I believe I'm a sinner, I'm in need of a savior.

Lord, I confess with my mouth.

I believe with my heart that Jesus Christ is Lord of my life.

Lord, I give you my heart.

Lord, I give you my mind.

Lord, I give you my family.

Lord, I give you my life.

I believe that I'm a new creature, and my best days are ahead of me.

I ask these things in Jesus' name.

Everybody said, Amen, amen.

Come on, give the Lord a mighty clap.

Thank you so much for tuning in to today's message.

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