Real Relationships // Relationships By Design // Pastor Drew Milliken

so this is Jackie and I wanted to talk

about groups for a minute um I started

coming to Collective Church in September

of 23 and for the first five or six

months or so I would walk into church

and be given a warm hello welcome to

church and then I would head directly to

my seat after service I would Boogie

right out as quickly as possible not

really engaging with anyone now I know

that this was my fault I was a little

shy and I I know there's a few of you

laughing at that right now um but it was

true at the time as time passed though I

knew I was missing out on the fellowship

and the real connection with each other

that I really wanted I knew this wasn't

really how I wanted my church journey to

go so I decided to join a group this was

way outside of my comfort zone and weird

and 100,000% the best thing I ever did

day one they asked me why I decided to

join and I said it was because as a baby

believer I don't know much about the

Bible and I really wanted to meet people

and make some church friends and to

become a part of the community as well I

told them since I didn't know much that

I didn't think I would have anything

really intelligent to contribute but

that if I could just listen in I would

love to learn more about God of course

no problem they said so we dove into a

devotional and very quickly I found out

that I didn't need to be a Bible scholar

to have thoughts and feelings about the

passages we had just read that my

feelings were just as valid as everyone

else's my thoughts coupled with everyone

else's thoughts equated to a great deal

of learning for me all the while

building the friendships and connections

that I was looking for I just finished

my second group and about to start my

third now I walk into church and on the

days I'm not serving on my team which is

a conversation for another time I Dart

around from group to group of people

gabbing talking hugging laughing and

sometimes praying the connection is real

so if you've been on the fence about

joining a group come down from the fence

just do it pick one that picks your

interest or one that works with your

schedule it doesn't even matter just

pick one and start building your

connections today it's totally worth

[Music]

it let's go that's Jackie if you haven't

had a chance to meet Jackie uh man

you're missing out she's not able to be

here today so she sent us that recording

uh for this testimony and uh Jackie we

love you we miss you thank you so much

for that can we give a shout for

Jackie's testimony that she

[Applause]

can we love you we love you man it's so

where are you hey how you

doing I'm not making that up you weren't

going to be here right okay I'm I mean

you could have literally called me out

and said you're crazy and I would have

had no defense so uh thank you thank you

for that oh God guys it's fresh star

Sunday how we

doing guys I am so grateful today we get

to be a we got to have a new star and my

favorite part about this is there's

times when I need with the Lord and I'm

like God I just feel like I've messed a

lot up I feel like I I've got my own uh

baggage that I'm carrying along and he

says my mercies are new

every morning and so it's fresh start

Sunday but it's also just January 19th

and guess what we got a fresh start

January 20th as well and so I don't know

about you guys I know some people that

I've already been talking to and they're

like yeah 2025 ain't starting out super

great for me uh and I am already in need

of a new year I'm already in need of

another fresh start and that's exactly

what this is well I want to do is is I

want to invite you into a fresh

start and a new thing because there's

there's there's convictions that God

puts on our

heart and a lot of times they get stuck

there and in the same way that your

heart pumps blood to every part of your

body the things that God places on our

hearts needs to get out to our hands and

our feet in our mouth and our minds and

we need to start doing stuff with it

right and and so I want I want this to

be an opportunity for you to take these

things of like I know God has been

saying that I need to jump into being in

his word daily I need to jump into being

in being in intentional prayer I need to

start my journaling I need to be

consistent with this whole church thing

I need to join a group and I need to get

a group of friends around me I need some

accountability I need to get that app on

my phone that'll that'll filter all the

junk that I keep finding myself on on my

phone I need to get rid of these things

these convictions that have been on my

heart I need to get these relationships

in my life right right now

today is your opportunity to do

that I want to invite you into this

because I was I was just talking to

someone about uh about the view that

that atheists have of Christians and uh

about the view that the the way that

many Christians operate as well of like

man this is what I assume on full

Devotion to

God and I read in his word that he says

it's going to be abundant

life

but I don't

know I really don't think so it seems

too risky giving everything giving every

area giving my entire self actually

forgiving that person and letting go

actually diving in full wholeheartedly

to a church that's filled with a lot of

broken messed up imperfect people and

what if they hurt me what if they offend

me and guess what I can guarante to you

that's probably going to happen because

we all are just as imperfect as you are

and the reality is is that we get this

opportunity that Jesus says will you go

all

in and I find the atheists that I talk

to they build this this perspective or

agnostics or people who are just against

Christianity and they say I I I carry

this perspective and I'm like man

there's a lot of logic that actually

points you toward God and toward a

Creator a personal creator that then

actually points you toward a Divine God

that came as human flesh to reveal

himself as God as man to us to be able

to give us freedom and be able to give

us uh an actual genuine connection with

him there's a lot that actually points

to

that the heavens declare the glory of

God

yet those who are standing on science

the most I say well do an experiment

build build your hypothesis build your

hypothesis man I I think that going all

in with Christianity makes you weird

makes you crazy it's an emotional

experience it's not a logical experience

I think if I fully go all in with God

he's going to start tearing my life

apart and it's going to be so hard and

it's going to be miserable and I'm going

to have so many NOS all around me all

the time and I build this hypothesis

well let's actually test it out and I

want to invite you on Fresh Start Sunday

to give God one

year go all in and give them the year

and go I'm not halfway with this I'm not

just practicing the practices and

keeping my heart out of it I'm going to

let myself get all in it and on January

19th of

2026 I'm going to take and I'm going to

go was this was this for

real or was this a whole bunch of

hype provided that I don't know I think

it was that music that band was pretty

great was the band pretty great right oh

man those vocalists they were pretty

great oh man I I don't know there's a

lot of people around in the room and

maybe I think I was just vibing with

them or is God all that he says he

actually

is or is going all in with him truly

actually the the greatest sacrifice that

once you give all of that you realize

that wasn't a sacrifice at all it's like

sacrificing a100 to get a thousand in

return right it's like say really it's

like sacrificing a dollar and getting a

million in return that is how it feels

in this in in this relationship with the

father it is ridiculously

unfair and we are the

beneficiaries so I want invite you into

a fresh start I want to invite you into

groups we got groups launching next

week and uh that's what Jackie was

talking about there is no better place

to be able to find transformation than

when you get into authentic genuine

Community with people who will pull it

out of you because if you look around

you we got a whole bunch of seats facing

the stage facing me I got a microphone

what does a microphone do it says that

person's talking you are not and as I

talk you're going to be getting

questions and you're going to be going

well how do I handle that how am I

supposed to build these I've tried these

habits before and you you got these I've

tried to fight that addiction before

you've got these questions in your mind

you go how does that apply to my

situation and guess what this is not the

best place to be able to deal with that

but groups are if you want to find

transformation if you want to see what

it's actually like to walk through it

and to apply it on Monday not just on

Sunday

morning join a group and I want to

invite you into that because groups is

where transformation is is is opened up

and that's what I want to talk about

today I want to talk about this we're

opening up a series uh called

Relationships by Design because we were

actually made by God to be in

relationship with people to not be in

isolation and not just in relationship

but vulnerable relationship messy ugly

hard I'm going to let some of these

people see the worst sides of me and I'm

gonna I'm going to share the full

testimony and I'm going to let them into

the mess of who I am and listen anywhere

I go we've all every single person in

here as much as we don't want to every

single person in here has a level of

performance that we have right here

right I think it's healthy in big crowds

I think it's important but there's some

places that we have to be able to have

hey I'm taking it all away I'm stripping

it all away and I'm coming I'm I'm

coming as this naked nothing person of

just like I this is I I got a mess I got

an absolute mess that's why we come to

the Lord like that that's why he invites

us to say I already know all your

mess come on in

I have already loved you and guess what

I see your mess clearer than you

do and your mess is bigger than you even

realize and I love you more than you

know that's his invitation and our

invitation but as we talk about real

relationships and and in relationships

actually having a design by God it makes

me think about there there's been

interviews done on people at the end of

their life and what are your greatest

what are the things that were the most

worth it and what are your greatest

regrets what are the things that you're

like oh I'd do that the same or even

more a thousand times over and one are

the things it's like man I think I

missed this one you want to know the

number one things always revolved around

people

on both

sides the things I loved the the things

that fulfilled me the most in life oh my

family my friends these people there was

nothing I only wish I would have

invested more in those I wish I would

have cut back on the hours that I was

working and I would have been with my

family more I wish I would have forgiven

that person quicker I wish I would have

I I I I wish that my relationships would

have been even more invested in and then

the greatest regret and the greatest

problems what's the biggest problem

you've had in

life

people can't stand

them problem worst of all I am one I bug

me the

most oh man I can't stand me everywhere

I go there I am it's

terrible the reality is that the

greatest thing about life is the

relationships and the people around us

and the hardest part is the exact same

thing a few a couple years ago we did a

series on similar to this called the

people problem addressing the same thing

but this is today I want to talk about

uh I want to talk about all

relationships but this one this series

we're going to be diving into singleness

and dating and marriage and we're going

to be having a panel that comes up and

we're going to be answering your

questions and so if you guys have any

questions we got a number here that I

want can we throw the number up on the

screen that you can text any question

into you can text your questions in if

you got any questions about

relationships about dating about

singleness about marriage what does the

Bible say about this how do I handle

this and and save that number this is

collective's number you can text it at

any time not just during this series but

go ahead and send in your questions and

at the beginning of each message I'm

going to be I'm going to answer some of

these questions to be able to to to help

address some of these things as you're

I'm talking to today and you've got

questions and you're like how do I

handle this what do time out expand on

that I don't really know how to apply

that to my life go ahead and text the

questions in but in this series we're

going to be talking a lot about romantic

relationships today not as much because

what I want to do I want us to model in

authenticity and vulnerability and

everything's on the table and so what

that means is we're going to be having

some PG-13 conversations in this series

and so so I want I I want to give that

disclaimer this week as we keep it PG

this week but then we can open it up and

talk about relationships and talk about

sex and talk about gender and talk about

all all this stuff and talk and and then

when we do that I I want to say if

you've got your kids I love worshiping

with my kids this series is pro may not

be the best one for that uh but we've

got an amazing kids ministry and you can

you can drop your kids if they're really

hesitant just say hey Pastor Drew is

making me do this he's just kind of

annoying like that so blame him don't

blame me don't go ahead I'm fine with

being the bad guy on it uh but we got an

amazing kids ministry I just want to

give that give that disclaimer of that

filter right now but uh when we look at

when we look at relationships sometimes

we feel like there's certain

relationships certain types of

relationships that I wouldn't verbalize

this out loud but in my life I treat it

as if this one's off limits to

God like I pray to God for him to give

me have me meet my bills at the end of

the month that's a god problem I pray to

God for the health issues I'm facing

that's a god problem I pray to God for

him to correct those other people that

I'm mad at right that's a god

problem but I kind of want to date who I

want to date I kind of want to hang out

and be friends with who I want to hang

out and be friends with that's not

really a god problem that's a me problem

I'll solve those issues I'll discern

that stuff God don't you worry about

that I got this one covered because I

got my eye on this one over

there watch out the reality is is that

we like to pull these areas and we don't

even realize we're doing it and we're

saying that one's for you this one's for

me and God has a design if he design

designed us for relationship he has a

design for each relationship that we

have and this is this this is what what

I want to talk about today because if

you look at the very beginning of

creation God creates man and he's got

Adam and he's got this work for him and

he's like there's purpose for you you're

going to name all the animals I've got

this stuff for you to do in the garden

and like there's all this and and then

he's like

ah Genesis 2 chapter

18 the Lord God said it's not

good after making day one and day two

and day three day four day five day six

it's good it's good it's good it's good

it's very

good then he looks at this and he goes

it's not

good for man to be

alone it's not good for us to be in

isolation it's not good for us to be

alone I'll make a helper suitable for

him I will make this this partner it's

not a subservient this word means this

word means like this partner in this

this co-laborer picture and I'm going to

make people to come alongside to create

family to create relationship to create

friendship you see this throughout all

of the Old Testament and and then you

see this Jesus quotes the Old Testament

he quotes Hosea 69 when he in in Matthew

chapter

9:13 he says this Jes says go and learn

what this means I desire

Mercy not

sacrifice for I have not come to call

the righteous but Sinners what's going

on is these Pharisees these people who

are like the like Ultra religious people

you know who I'm talking about right not

like the normal religious like the ultra

religious and it's like I can't sneeze

wrong around these people right like I

know that I'm going to be getting a side

eye from from all the like am I wearing

the right Brands am I like like are they

what are they upset about me now what

what unknown law did I just break in

their mind right that's this that's this

Pharisee and the they're coming and

Jesus just finishes healing this

paralytic and then he goes out and

there's all these people and he passes

by all these people and he passes by all

these Pharisees and he goes up to this

tax collector booth and he goes up to

this place where the the Jew there they

hire the Jews to steal from the Jews and

there's no one hated in the Jew within

the Jewish Community more than tax

collectors and he walks up to a tax

collector and he says yo Matthew what's

up follow

me I want you to be my

disciple and Matthew's like yes come on

over to my house and I'm going to bring

all my

friends guess what kind of friends a

religious reject

has lots of tax collectors and Sinners

and the wrong kind of crowd the crowd

that you don't go and you're like oh man

look at that's that's a holy crowd I see

their I see their Halos right it's the

type of crowd that you're like okay uh

like watch our language a little bit

more like the messiah's coming in here

we got a rabbi stepping in watch out I

don't know what the Environ

exactly was like but I know that it was

offensive to those who were religious

and had the law figured

out and so when they say hey Jesus Rabbi

you remember who you

are why are you eating with these people

you are in their house you're not

inviting them over to the synagogue

you're in their territory bad decision

don't you know who you're

around and he said says ah come on if

only you could learn what this means

here's something interesting he quotes

the same passage in Matthew chap 12 but

he introduces it with with a different

introduction he says if only you had

learned what this

meant so he tells them to go study and

tells them to go get it in their heart

and they do nothing with it and they're

critiquing the same thing a little bit

later he says go and learn what this

means I desire Mercy not sacrifice this

comes from Hosea where where this

prophecy comes in and it's this this

picture of God saying I know you are

doing the sacrifices but I don't have

your heart I know you're showing up to

church I know you've been tithing I know

you've been serving on a team I know

you've been going to a group that's not

the secret

sauce giving of yourself to me is the

secret sauce I I don't want a contract I

want a

relationship he creates us for

relationship and then out of that we

give the

sacrifice right the sacrifice isn't gone

it's I that's not what it's there for I

don't have you come to church because

it's like this this great box I want you

to check on your to-do list no I have

you come to church because it's where

you're going to find life it's where

you're going to be lifted up it's where

you're going to be a part of the bride

of Christ and where you're going to rub

shoulders with other imperfect people

and you're going to get to experience me

in unique ways because of that that's

this whole purpose and then even Jesus

talks about this in John chapter 17 and

John 17 · chapter mention

I love this because we think that

before before what was what was what was

God like before there was the universe

before he

speaks light in time and humanity and

life and matter into

existence what was it like Jesus gives a

view in John

175 and this is the prayer that he's

praying as he's about to go into the

garden Gethsemane and he's about to get

arrested and he knows what's coming and

he prays this prayer in John 17 it's the

real it's the true Lord's Prayer and he

prays it out loud for his disciples to

hear he saysf father glorify me now in

your presence

with the glory I had when I was with you

before the world

began oh it's like he's saying I

miss I'm around this

imperfect sinful world and I'm

surrounded by people that I love so much

and in a couple hours they're all going

to abandon me for me to get arrested and

beaten and persecuted and murdered

God I just father I just long for the

time when it was just you me and the

spirit I just missed

that I'm ready for it

again and he prays this prayer that

calls back to before creation and guess

what was going on before

creation

relationship within one God there's

three persons and there still was

relationship there still was love there

still was this this community in one God

and it's this this Trinity thing that I

can't understand and I can't comprehend

because God is Supernatural and I am

extraordinarily natural I am very finite

and so I cannot comprehend a Divine God

that's above time and space and matter

and speaks that stuff and energy into

existence that is God and so but Jesus

calls back to this time even in his

flesh he calls back to it there is

something that we are designed for

relationship and here's the here's the

big idea if we get one thing out of

today I want us to get

this our

relationships are the greatest revealers

of our true spiritual

condition our

relationships reveal more about our

spiritual

condition than a lot of our spiritual

habit

our spiritual habits change our

relationships right I don't know if you

guys have ever heard the statement you

you're most mean and harsh to the people

that you love most anybody ever found

that right like I'm a pretty good person

until I get in an argument with my wife

and then watch out it's like I'm I'm

I'mma pull on some of those nerves I'm

going to be like yeah but you said last

week right and I'm going to be like and

I'm I what what's going on here's the

problem the reality is is that I'm not

most mean around the people I love most

I'm most real around the people I love

most that's the real version of me and

everybody else gets a little bit of a of

a

mask everybody else gets a little bit of

a performance that's the

reality that's the reality of every

single one of us and it's a healthy

reality

right the real and and and so when I see

that I don't go oh man I'm just the the

relationship's broken no I

go I'm

broken and there's things that our

relationships are designed to do every

relationship God has built a

relationship and there's three main

things I want to talk about today that

we see in scripture we see that first of

all every relationship provides a

revelation of

God do you want to know how God likes to

describe how he wants to be in

relationship with

us he

uses descriptions like like a father and

a to a

child I am the heavenly father you are

my

children he

uses Jesus in John

15 says you are my

friends he uses Earthly relationships to

reveal himself he says I am the

bridegroom you are the bride I it's like

this marriage that we are having in fact

your marriage is a revelation of God I

am the master I am the manager you are

the servant you are the the

worker right this is he says I am the

teacher you are the the student I am the

king you are the kingdom I this is this

is this picture that he gives and it's

always it's tying into

relationships so my relationships

actually give me a revelation of who God

is and he challenges us and then even

even here in our spiritual

family he describes

friends that are closer than a

sibling right we are Brothers and

Sisters in Christ and it's this family

it's another relationship we are

co-laborers for the kingdom and the

mission it's this picture that the

reality that our relationships reflect

our relationship with God and my

friendships teach me about what it's

like what what friendship with God is

like my marriage teaches me what it what

what relationship and marriage and this

Covenant that I have with the father is

like I get to learn these my my boss and

my manager teaches me how I honor the

Commandments that God is giving to

me right and how he when he says I want

you to bear fruit right like it's the

same way when a manager says I need you

to

produce it's this it's this same concept

in all of these there are none of them

are individual and can be taken outside

of all the others it's the idea that our

relationships actually give us a

revelation of God the father and how we

interact and who we are with him my

healthy

relationships help me to see what a

healthy relationship with the father

looks

like and my unhealthy relationships are

the times when I'm frustrated when I'm

hurt when people have hurt me when

people have offended me when people have

cheated on on me when people have

abandoned

me God

goes yeah now you're getting what it's

like to to be in a covenant relationship

with

you because you also abandoned me just

this

morning you also rejected me and you

knew where I was calling you and you

said ah

no you also have ignored me and you

haven't called out to me I've been by

your side the whole time and you have

not called my name you have not

addressed me you have not looked at me

you have not thought about me and and

how long and I'm with you I'm right by

your side and you ignore me yeah you

know what it's like

now my relationships are a powerful

revelation of my

God and I get to I get to learn about

who he is they reveal who God is or

isn't and they reveal how I should or

shouldn't act within the context of my

relationship with the father second

second thing every relationship carries

a function of

God God designed

relationships he made

relationships he made us for

relationships and he has boundaries for

each relationship

I do not talk to my bride in the way

that I talk to my

boss and if I

do I got to start making the couch right

now right like I'm gonna I'm going to

tuck in the sheets right away put a

pillow on my bad my bad right like I do

not I do not talk I I I do not talk to

you guys like I talk to my

children can you imagine that the

relationships are different we treat

each other differently based on

different areas and if I try to break

the boundaries of a certain relationship

because I'm like I don't want to I I

don't I don't want the boundaries of

this that feels kind of restrictive I

don't really like that I want to be able

to be friends with benefits I want to be

able to do all this I I I want to be

able to have the freedoms that I want to

have I want you to be perfectly

vulnerable to me and me say perfectly

hidden and safe away from you I need

these like and when we when we try to

break these boundaries that's when we

see that we're getting stuck in we're

outside of the very function of the

relationship that God has designed us

for and when we are in that place we're

going to find ourselves happy for but a

minute and lost for a long

time and hurt and broken and frustrated

because the very way that God designed

for my marriage marage my friendships my

work my my my spiritual brothers and

sisters is designed with different

functions we're going to be going

through a lot of these but I I just want

I I don't have time to go through all of

them but I want us to know that it is

okay to have different types of

relationships but I have to also be okay

with the boundaries that God has set

within those different types of

relationships then lastly if we can get

the keys to come on

up the last thing every relationship

actually is designed for relationships

by Design give glory to

God the purpose of my

relationships is not my own happiness oh

my relationships can make me

happy but I have to understand there is

a

deeper more powerful Revelation behind

each of my

relationships there to give glory to

God that is why when when when we talk

about the design of relationships when

God gives when his word gives these

boundaries and the functions of how a

relationship should

work you want to know what he Compares

it to he Compares it to himself just one

Morgan was talking about during

worship but it's this idea it's this

idea that that when when when Paul is

instructing

husbands he says

husbands love your

[Music]

wife just like Jesus loved the

church it's not just love your wife do

so as you model Jesus do so

for him wives submit and follow your

husbands as you do to the Lord we got a

problem with that but we don't have a

problem with when he says Hey servants

serve your Masters as to the Lord this

whole idea of like I am we're we're if

the husband is serving and if the wife

is serving we're going to get into this

at another I'm getting into the marriage

talk we're going to get into that at

another time but here's the idea he says

you are doing this for the sake of the

the Lord you're not doing it for the

sake of your

spouse when you bear with each other's

burdens Brothers and Sisters in Christ

bear with each other forgive each other

whatever grievances you may have forgive

one another in the same way that the

Lord forgave

you and it's this pointing right back to

him every time so the whole reason when

I forgive you of an offense it is not

for my benefit that I do

that I hope and I pray that you get to

experience a little bit more of God

through me because of him when I love as

a as a husband right when I love my

bride even when I don't feel like I've

been been given the love that I've been

wanting in the way that I've been

wanting all this stuff it makes me want

to withhold my love no I give it more

abundantly cuz that's the way I see

Jesus do it with the church wives when

it's like I can't stand this man I'm

going to continue to honor him because

that's the way I see that he has called

me to operate and that's what gives

glory to the Lord when I look at my

brothers and sisters in Christ and I

choose to forgive it gives glory to him

and it points to him and makes me go wow

there's a greater power in you I want

for my

relationships to teach me give me a

revelation about my God

I want them I want to align with the

design that God has had for the

relationship and I want for my

relationships to point to God so clearly

so boldly when I serve a terrible boss

at work and everybody else does so

complaining and talking about how

they're always oh man I'm going to leave

and I can't stand this one oh yeah you

don't know what he said to me do you

know what he said to me do you know what

he said to them I still can't believe

it I'm going to serve serve with

gratitude my favorite verse the verse

that I pray over myself and the verse

that I pray over my life most frequently

is is Colossians 3:23-24 and it says it

Colossians 3:23–24

say it says this and whatever you do

work at it with all of your heart as

working for the

Lord as as though you are serving the

very Lord himself why would I do it any

other way why would I do it with any

less EX

why would I do it with half heart

right he says for it is the Lord that

you are

serving now the context of this is

actually talking about the households

and he says husbands love your wives

wives follow honor the Lord in the way

that you honor your husband uh children

obey your parents fathers don't be a

jerk to your kids right like it's all

this stuff it says Masters be kind to

your slaves and and and then it says

slaves and servants which slavery was

very different in that day we can get

into that different time slaves

servants love and serve your master as

though you were serving the lord himself

because it is the Lord God that you're

glorifying when I am when it doesn't

matter what I'm doing when I'm pouring

myself a bowl of cereal I want to learn

how to do it to the glory of God I want

to learn how to send an email to the

glory of God I want to learn how to come

back from the attack that I just

received to the glory of God and I want

to and I'm going to do so so imperfectly

but God would you help me to do it a

little bit more like you so that you may

be glorified a little bit more through

me I want to give you glory god it's for

you not for me can we stand up in this

room

[Music]

and then this is this is why if every

relationship points us to him and is to

be giving glory to him this is why he

says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 and this is a

2 Corinthians 6:14

hard

one this may be a conviction for some of

you in this room it says do not be

yolked

together what's the Yoke it's it's it's

the the

bar that would go across the back of two

oxen that are pulling a plow it's the

arm and an arm it's that we're doing

life together thing it's that we are

Partners together not just where we

exist beside each other it's not we're

acquaintances it's not we're casual

friends it's like we are we're yoked up

together we carry each other we lift

each other we walk with each other I'm

yoked up do not yoke together with

unbelievers for what do righteousness

and wickedness have in common or what

Fellowship can light have with

Darkness this is why when God gives

boundaries for a a a a saved person a

Christian who is fully devoted to the

Lord why I got a function in my

relationships with people who are

non-believers a little bit differently

and my goal in that here's here's the

here's the boundary I see within

scripture I've got to be the

influencer the second I start to be

influenced the second I start to play

with the Temptation in my

heart the second I start the second the

sin starts to look a little bit

attractive I'm now being

influenced and now I am yoking up with

the very wickedness that I'm surrounded

by as opposed to being a light in the

darkness and I've got to create a little

bit more of a boundry there for those of

you who are new to the faith we got a

lot of people who are like baby

Christians and just learning similar to

how Jackie was saying when she joined a

group that was her

goal and one of the things one of the

hardest things we got to do is we got

got to learn how to set functions and

boundaries around the relationships that

pull me away from the glory of

God and I've got to learn how to operate

in those differently maybe I got to

bring a friend with me I remember the

first time that Morgan brought me around

some of her friends that she had from

back when she was in high school and she

wasn't living fully devoted to the Lord

and and I I I get around and we're like

all right we're going to pray before we

go to this party I know what's going to

be going at this party I know what's

going to be happening I know that and we

walk through and I'm offered all sorts

of stuff and I'm going no I am here as a

light in the darkness we are here as a

hope in the hopelessness I'm going to

reject the weed that you're giv me I'm

going to reject the alcohol you're giv

me because I want you to see that I'm

here with a different purpose I'm here

is something different not to consume

and to yoke

up and when you when you're in that she

she had to take a season of going I got

to separate myself from these people

I got to build some boundaries because I

don't know how to not be influenced by

them right now and I need to build some

strength in me and I to deepen my roots

in the

Lord and so I want to I want to ask

us I want to ask us to commit every

single relationship to the glory of

God I want us to ask us to look for the

revelation of the Mighty God in every

single relationship a ship that I have

what is he revealing to me in it how can

I learn more about who he is and what

and how he loves and serves me through

this relationship that I have right here

how can I get empathy and get in their

shoes and learn about the empathy and

the love that he had because guess what

he did when he looks at us and he says I

am God I am Holy I am creator of the

universe I am perfect and I create these

people who then chose separation for me

chose sinfulness chose to reject me

chose to run away from me but oh I love

them so much how can I get near to them

I can set up all these rules and all

these structures and all these functions

to kind of slightly maybe taste a little

bit of

relationship

or I can send my

son in the flesh to be in relationship

to be Emmanuel with

us to say I'm not just over you I'm with

you I get you I've been tempted like you

I've been rejected like you I've been

scorned I've been hurt I've been

abandoned I have been I've been so

distraught I've been persecuted I have

been murdered without doing anything

wrong

and I get to look at him and I get to

go

oh to have this creation that you made

that we destroyed the relationship so

that you may rebuild that relationship

back

again it's too

much it's it's Grace I cannot fathom

it's a love I do not get and yet that's

the invitation he gives he says I made

you you ruined

it and I'm restoring

it all I want for you all I need for

you is would you say okay to that

restoration would you submit to this son

that I have sent down to to die on the

cross to pay your penalty to take your

death and bring it to the grave and

overcome it and bring life into the

darkness and to bring hope into the

hopelessness right that is who he is

that is what he did and he's given that

invitation to you in this room so maybe

there's some of you in this room who

need to go who who are going God's

putting on your heart and he's saying

you need to get your relationships right

right now you need to figure this thing

out right now you got a couple

relationships that you need to get right

maybe God is putting in your heart hey

you need to start glorifying me in these

Rel relationships you need to let go of

that unforgiveness you need to start

being my light in the darkness no it's

not you being a doormat it's you being

the servant of all it is you being like

Jesus this is what I'm asking you to do

I'm asking you to love I'm asking you to

glorify me through your relationships

and here here here's the other thing

that I believe some of you God is asking

you God is

saying maybe we've had a

contract or maybe he's saying we haven't

really had much of

that and I want to invite you into a

genuine

relationship I want to invite you into

my heart I want your

heart I want you and me me and you I

want to be

together that's what I came for and if

that's if if either of those are you if

you go I got some relationships I got to

fix or if you go I got to get my

relationship right with Jesus I want you

to come forward I want you to come

forward and and start this relationship

start get a fresh start right now and

this is going to be a time there's

nothing magic about up here but what it

is it's the I'm actually going to let

this thing in my heart flow into my feet

and it's the first practice it's the

first step and something's actually

going to change out there there's a

there's an insane difference when I

don't put any practice in here how much

harder it is to put it into practice out

there so I want to invite you up just as

a God I feel the conviction and this is

my picture I will obey you father I want

to invite you to come on up if you feel

the Lord calling you into a relationship

renewal with him or with others and if

you have a Rel relationship with Jesus

that you're like I'm I need to get this

thing right that's the thing that I'm

looking for I'm looking to start or to

restart a relationship with Jesus for

the first time in a very long time I

want you to meet right up here we got

Russ up here over here at the at this

prayer banner and I want to meet you up

there I want to pray with you so that

you are not alone for the rest of us if

you want prayer you can come up and

receive prayer but what I want to do is

I want to pray over you and as I pray

you come on forward