Marriage Agreements // Pastor Drew Milliken

uh so today we've been going through a

series called Relationships by Design

and uh we I I I wanted to continue this

on just a little bit longer uh because

there's a couple things that I I believe

that the Lord wants to speak into our

relationships today and uh here at

Collective and really it comes from uh

the

reality that when you look at

marriage marriage is the the peak of the

difficulty of

relationships and the peak of the the

enjoyment and fulfillment of

relationship right the greatest strength

in Heights in beautiful things is found

in marriage and the greatest

difficulties is found in marriage for

most people you will say who has hurt

you the most

the most it's probably for most people

it's probably a

spouse because we give the deepest

access who has fulfilled you the

most also probably

spouse because there's this when when

when someone else comes up and speaks uh

speaks against me or says something

about me that uh they're like hey yeah

that you like I don't know you're just

not really my my cup of tea you're kind

of too much for me whatever like I'll be

like okay cool do your thing bro if my

wife was to say that to me oh I'd be

destroyed right right like it's just

it's totally radically different but

here's the problem marriage especially

in America is

failing now if you look at the stats

here's the good

news divorce rates are

dropping they actually have been

dropping but the marriage rates are

plummeting see we're choosing instead of

marriage we're not getting divorces

because we're never getting

married and so it's impossible to track

this the the the what about these

long-term fully committed relationships

that end up not working out well here's

the problem because that is disappearing

so also we see commitment is

disappearing and it gives us this this

perspective of marriage that then now we

get all these different you talk about

marriage and for some people it's a good

thing for some people it's a bad thing

for some it is it's whether it's wanted

whether it's not wanted whether it's

seen as totally unnecessary or whether

it's seen as a tra a atic

experience either either because of you

seeing your parents marriage or because

of a marriage that you've been

through we have totally different

perspectives on this and this is why

we're asking these questions and I've

got a lot of questions I'm going to be

hitting on but I want to encourage you

guys we got another week you can still

text in questions for uh about

relationships if it didn't get hit on

last week we did our panel and how did

our panel members do

wasn't that

incredible man it was just like bomb

after bomb after bomb was being dropped

it was like whoa you can build so much

off of these little pieces of wisdom and

if we sit on that it'll transform us uh

but what I want to do is I want to make

sure that at Collective our

relationships are designed after God and

uh so I've got I've got a couple more

books that I want to hand out uh and

both are by a gentleman named Gary

Thomas and one is called the sacred

search it's all about dating it's all

about and here's the idea it says what

if it's not about who you marry what if

it's not about finding the one the one

out of the 8.1 billion people out there

that I am compatible with what if it's

not about who you marry but

why and then

then sacred marriage this is once you've

stepped into marriage it says what have

God designed marriage to make us holy

even more than to make us happy and I

want to give these books away uh if

you're a reader or if you want to dive

into this who wants who wants come on

come on over here we go I got you sacred

search right here and then sacred

marriage who wants sacred

marriage right here there you go take

it got you there you go come on can we

give a hand for those who are investing

in Mar marage and relationships and

doing it the right way so uh I'm going

to jump right in we have today's today's

message is called marriage agreements

because in marriage in any

relationship we we come with these

expectations and these agreements that

we've made whether we know it or not

that's the problem often times in in

marriage and in relationships we carry

expectations that we've never actually

communicated and once I get to

communicating them I'm like actually I'm

just now realizing I held that

expectation as I'm saying it like yes

that is something that I thought was

going to be reciprocal here I thought

when I went to work that you knew that

it meant I loved

you and when I come home and I'm like

hey I've been loving you all day long

babe right like I need a break now any

guys relate to this right like hey I've

been I've been showing you I've been

working so hard I've been trying to

bring in and and the and the bride is

like I haven't seen you what do you mean

you've loved me I you haven't talked to

me you I didn't even know if You'

thought about me right like what in the

world what do you mean you've been

showing me love all day long well that's

the expectation right and the reality is

is that we've got we've got these

expectations that we don't always even

realize we have and the problem with

marriage many times Tim Keller hits on

this really well in his book called the

meaning of

marriage and in this book he talks about

two different marriage

agreements that you can make two

different ways that you can have a

mutual agreement of

marriage and of relationship in general

and in a first world Western

culture in a nation that is all about

capital ISM and like all about like you

go to work so you can make money and so

you can help your company to make money

and everything every relationship that

we have is this first relationship and

it is called a

consumer

relationship it's a consumer we love

consuming we love it and when we we step

into marriage with this same perspective

of

I'm going to bring this to the table you

are going to bring this to the table and

this is our consumer agreement this is

the problem one of the questions that we

had sent in this hits directly on the

head of this issue here's the question

it says why is the try it before you buy

it why is that approach to marriage so

wrong when we are actually told to be

wise

to be

Discerning and to be

knowledgeable I love this

question because it's actually rooted

it's got some it's got some biblical

roots of like how do I hold these two

perspectives how do I hold these a lot

of times when you hear this try it

before you buy it perspective you hear

right like I'm never going to go to the

store and pick out a pair of shoes

without try bu them on first I'm never

going to pick out a car without taking

it for a test drive I'm never going to

buy a house without doing a walkth

through and checking it out and looking

at that right and we get this

perspective of

marriage and specifically we're going to

be we're going to be diving whenever

we're talking about relationships and

whenever we're talking about marriage

we're going to be a little bit I I want

to be a little bit unfiltered here so if

you need to take kids into kids church

because we're going to be talking about

all of it

uh but but when when we're talking about

this of like I want to explore every

area of marriage and make sure that we

have everything covered so make sure

that we're sexually compatible to make

sure that that that like things work out

the whole

idea what of of of consumerism fails in

marriage we were never that that idea

works out out in our minds it makes

sense it's logical until you see a

couple different things first of all you

see that let's look at the

stats what

[Music]

happens what happens if you choose to go

let's try it before we buy it and people

do you know that studies of tested

marriages that lived together before

marriage and marriages that abstained

and marriages that chose to move in

together before their wedding date saw

the in the reality the results were

marriages that moved in together before

their wedding

date saw over an a 50% increase in

divorce and that's starting at a 50%

divorce

rate we're really hurting our chances

why is that reason says it's wise it's

Discerning it's knowledgeable I know

what I'm stepping into with this

commitment now why is it why why is that

actually what happens also it shows that

these marriages have a lower lower

satisfaction lower dedication and lower

confidence in the relationship along

with an increase of negative

communication and proness for

divorce why is

this well first ultimately always comes

down to design

God's design for marriage it says let

the marriage bed be kept holy set

apart different right like we've got to

we've got to make this thing the

marriage bed is totally different than

than anything else and I am I'm not

going to let anybody or anything enter

stop me and cut into the relationship

that I have or I'm going to have as a

single person I'm saving that marriage B

for my wedding

night I'm saving it because my know

right

now is going to help to determine my

nose

later because then later I'm now married

to one person out of 8.1 billion

people and here's the problem when I get

a consumer

relationship and I said try it before

you buy it here's my question for you

if you're comparing your marriage to

trying on

shoes what happens when your shoes wear

out what happens when the car breaks

down I've heard it

said right that that dating is the free

trial like moving in together it's like

the free trial before you get the annual

subscription right here's the problem

with that let's say you are offered an

app that you love and you find it really

helpful and you go this is great and

they have a free trial how long does the

free trial go

indefinitely and then after it's $100 a

month but you can just use everything no

ads like just you get the full app

experience without any of the commitment

you want to know what's going to happen

no one's going to buy the app and the

whole thing is going to

fail because the app's going to shut

down is going to end up not working

because they have nobody on the other

side of it allowing it to work the

Covenant can't work like that and so

when we step in and we go hey I want to

make sure that we are

exchanging of goods as best as possible

you scratch my back I scratch your back

you're lonely I'm lonely you've got like

you you kind of like some of the same

things that I like I kind of like some

of that like perfect let's go let's

let's make sure we are as compatible as

possible and then let's just get into

this agreement in this

contract but what

happens when the

contract what happens when what happens

when I I've got a contract with someone

and the supplier suddenly runs out of

supplies

the contract's broken what happens in a

marriage that's built on a contract and

the person steps into a terrible season

and they're not able to give in the same

way that they were able to give before

and then that is why Mar secular

marriage counselors have no real great

answer for

divorce yeah it it looks like you guys

kind of just drifted it looks like you

guys have

changed things are just not how they

were yeah end it they're not providing

for you what you thought and hoped that

they would provide for

you and so therefore this contract that

you've had as

consumers it's

broken they didn't meet their end of the

deal you didn't meet your end of the

deal and so now we can just cut this

whole thing

out you see this it's the it the the

consumer relationship if I've got a uh

if if if I go to a grocery store and

they suddenly stop having the stuff that

I want I'm going to find myself a new

grocery store cuz who is the ultimate

end in a consumer

relationship

me now there's a totally different

perspective in

Christ and the end is never

me the end is always him

and it's a laying down of self here's

the problem we've got we don't need a

consumer marriage we've got consumer

relationships all around

us if you start failing at your job you

will and should get

fired right that's the

contract you produce this if you don't

produce that they won't produce the

payment that they were giving to you

that's how it should

work if someone shows up to do my

electrical work at my house and they

don't do it the contract's

broken in the same way friendships often

operate on a contract right like hey

we've got a lot of similarities we are

we work together we've got a lot of

things that we like about each other but

it's as soon as some of those things

start changing friendships just kind of

drift it just kind of starts to

end and there's something inside of us

that's just like I don't like

that I get fired from a job and it's

more than just oh I don't have the

income anymore it's like I just feel

used right like I'm just a commodity

yes yes literally the contract I sign

says I am a commodity that you can use

if you pay me now here's the

difference marriage has to be

different marriage has to be

different Covenant is the other option

you got a contract you got a consumer

relationship marriage was designed as a

covenant scripture says the

two shall become one so that they are no

longer two individuals but they are now

one and here's the difference a

covenant a covenant is different than a

contract in that a covenant is formal

binding promise where both parties

pledge their entire

selves to one

another rather than just an exchange of

goods or services and a contract you get

my 9 to 5 and I got a lunch hour in

between that's mine you get this

specific skill set that I

have you pay me here's our exchange of

goods I've got a

contract now a covenant is a

spiritual not just a natural it's a

spiritual commitment purposed to create

a shared

Bond it's primarily relational while a

contract is transactional commitment

focused on specific terms and

exchanges

marriage cannot operate on a contractual

relationship marriage cannot operate

with the constant thought of what have

you done for me

lately but here's the problem

we have so little understanding of

Covenant

relationships marriage is seen as a

contract as a as a consumer relationship

all around in the world here we so we

don't see very many Covenant

relationships here's one relationship

that we see that we perceive in kind of

a covenant type of way it's

parenting right I get sick of my kid and

I'm like okay done we're broken up right

right it doesn't work like that there's

still a there's still a problem and and

a shaming and unacceptance of that

within our society because we recognize

that the relationship is even more

important than the individual in that in

that situation now what happens when you

choose a covenant relationship from

parent to child but a consumer

relationship from the husband and wife

that's when you've got something

broken that's when it's going to end in

divorce that's when you find that you

are more in love with and committed to

your children than you are to each other

and the foundation that you that your

children had is

broken because

well they just weren't doing it for me

anymore we've kind of fallen out of love

we've kind of drifted away from each

other and secular counseling says Yep

looks like you have here's how to do so

here's how to end it

cordially now as a believer in marriage

and looking at the difference in in what

the world says marriage is in the

Covenant I'm always I'm for for as long

as possible I'm going to be fighting for

a marriage to work we're going to say

you've drifted apart let's learn how to

swim back together let's learn how to

forgive let's learn how to Humble

ourselves let's learn how to keep no

record of wrongs let's learn how to

align with righteousness and with love

see

marriage is a reflection of our

relationship with

God we are we understand marriage in in

in a consumer relationship but then we

want God full unending Covenant towards

us as we regularly break our covenant

towards

him and then we get offended when this

marriage covenant and agreement that

we've made isn't upheld in a small

degree from our

partner we go whoa that's

offensive yes it

is here's your opportunity to learn

Grace and go hey divorce is not my goal

and so when we set this Foundation when

we set a foundation as a consumer

relationship we have to intentionally

transition this we have to intentionally

change it from hey we've been kind of

operating in the here's what you have to

offer here's what I have to offer and

we're not doing it in a

Oneness and I want us to know this both

if you're single

if you're married if you're divorced I

want us all to operate with this like

with this understanding of this is how I

date this is the way that I'm pursuing

marriage this is the way that I'm

pursuing that relationship maybe I'm

going to be single forever and this is

going to be something that is a is an

understanding and actually a better

understanding of our relationship to

Christ he is the

bridegroom we are the

bride he is the one

who we get to go to and say hey I know

that we've made this agreement and I

know that I failed a thousand times and

I thank you for the grace because you've

given a covenant to me as the perfect

side making way for the imperfect to be

able to be in relationship it's not just

a

contract that's our problem when we

think of relation when we think of of

our relationship with God and going to

church and stuff like that just simply

as

salvation it's our consumer mindset

again if I do this I get a ticket to

Heaven if I don't I don't get my ticket

to

Heaven I've built this consumer

relationship not a covenant not a a a

blending of of souls Jesus says I and

the father are one and I want you to

experience this same Oneness with him

it's all about this personal bond

together that's what heaven on Earth

looks like that's this whole thing like

the whole idea is not get a heaven get

to heaven get free ticket to heaven

right like no the whole idea is this

deep Covenant blood sacrificed

relationship with him and I get to

experience a little bit of that through

my marriage here so that's why marriage

is such a spiritual and legal

thing that's why here's here's another

question we had it says why is it so

profound what is so profound about

relational intimacy and sex that leaves

us longing so deeply after a breakup or

after a

divorce the reality is is that we are

both physical and Spiritual

Beings and when we try to make marriage

just a legal contractual agreement we

miss the whole idea of what's actually

happening that there is a spiritual

Oneness that is occurring

occurring into Unity that continues to

be brought together in

Christ and we are not just setting a

natural contract we are submitting to a

spiritual

Covenant and so when it when we break up

when the divorce

happens the two have become

one and if I take two cups of water and

I pour it into one bottle of water and

then I try to split it back up into two

cups of water I'm not going to be

getting the exact same thing returned

and back back in both I'm going to be

getting a blend of both and there's

going to be a tearing there's going to

be a ripping there's going to be a

painful thing my very Soul disagrees

with it and it's it's it's terrible it's

painful no one ever steps into marriage

going I can't wait

till debt does us

part

right I really hope that we stay married

for three years the first year is really

hard the second year is bearable and the

third year we hate each other want to

kill each other and we're done I really

hope it's like three years of misery and

uh then we get a divorce that's what

that like no one desires that on their

wedding

day no one wants that that's never the

goal

and so this this this deep spiritual

bond is torn and it's broken and it

hurts to our very

core that's also why why adultery is is

why adultery is more than just a legal

thing we can go and we can get a legal

divorce but scripture says even if

you've got a legal divorce and then you

go and you get remarried that that's

actually considered adultery cuz

spiritually speaking in the heavenlies

the reality is that there's still still

a spiritual Oneness going on and the

contract is actually not getting broken

spiritually until that adultery

happens and that's that's that's why

it's such a spiritual thing 1

Corinthians 6 18-20 talks about

this and it talks about it talks about

how how sexual sin is

different it says

flee run away from sexual

immorality can we pull the can we pull

the passage up on the screen here 1

1 Corinthians 6:1

Corinthians 6:1 18-20 flee from sexual

immorality all other sins a person

commits are outside of the body but

whoever sins sexually sins against their

own body don't you know your body is a

temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you

who you have received from God

you are not your

own you are bought at a price a

hefty high price of the body of Christ

himself therefore honor God with your

bodies we say all sin is the same

scripture says there's there's an EXT

there's an

extra pain and grievance that it gives

to the heart of God when we sin

sexually it actually is he he sees it

different because it's not just a sin

against God it's not just a sin against

someone else but it's a sin against the

very Temple that he has given

me it's a it's a different type of

grievance that it gives to God and this

is this is this is when we get in a

covenant relationship here's here's a

really good question that we had brought

in it says what do you

do if this calls back to Laura's message

two weeks ago what do you do if you are

doing all the connecting behaviors and

your spouse

isn't well in a consumer relationship

what do you

do I'm doing my part and I'm bringing it

to the table right you're not doing your

part and you're not bringing it to the

table what does that mean the contract

is void broken done we can tear that

sucker up check the date on it I'm going

to tear it up I'm going to send it back

back to you torn up and you're going to

see that I have done my part and you

have

failed as a

covenant that is reflective of my

relationship with Christ

himself transforms the way I see it

because here's what's going

on here's what's going on inside

questions behind questions like

this there's a little bit of our flesh

and what is it saying it's saying I want

revenge I want to be rude I want to

fight back I want to hit back I want to

attack their sensitivities that only I

know where they are I want to stop

having to show so much

grace and what is

that that's I don't want to be as

Christlike as I feel like I have to be

in this

relationship but if my relationship is

intended not just for me to be to

consume and to get and to receive as

much as possible then actually what if

the relationship is a revelation of my

own sickness in my own heart that

reveals I don't actually want Jesus and

I don't want godliness as much as I

think I do I only want it when it

benefits

me and now I've got this problem and I

go ah I feel like I'm giving and they

are

not look at the

score oh I got to keep no record of

wrong I'm not in this I'm not in this

for keeping score with my spouse I'm in

this for chasing after my

God but that doesn't negate the fact

that a covenant is supposed to be two

ways it's binding and it's supposed to

be two ways and so you have to to have

sit down have the conversation this is

how I'd guide you to have that

conversation if this is your situation

whoever texted this in if this is your

situation I want you to do this I want

you to sit down with your spouse and say

Hey I want to go through this series I

want to go through this book that was

recommended in the series I want to go

through this stuff together and maybe

you're not able to have the conversation

right away maybe there's too much

tension going on and so instead go

separately watch the messages separately

write down your notes take tons of notes

as much pause it take a whole bunch of

notes Journal about it all the things

that that means to you and then when you

are getting ready we're going to come

back together and we're going to discuss

it right before then go back through

your

notes and everything that says you don't

you haven't why don't you cross it

out everything that said says I need to

I should I will

start highlight

it and guess what your spouse is

probably going to totally miss the giant

big obvious one that's like I don't I

don't need all those other things I just

need like I need this thing why don't

you see that let's walk in the journey

together we can continue this

relationship on again but the whole idea

is I'm going to look and I'm going to

let my heart be exposed to Christ we're

going to step into Christian Counseling

we're going to step into into

relationship and into communication

together where I go hey here's the

reality when you say these things to

me I recognize it's not you're that you

that's the enemy it's my heart that's

the

enemy because I hear I don't love you

anymore what I hear is you're not worthy

what I hear is is is I'm not good enough

what I hear is these things and I my my

heart is so sensitive and I'm so weak

and I'm in in this area and and I need

to lean tighter to the Covenant with the

Lord in

this because our goal in marriage is to

model after Christ's Covenant with us a

Christ centered Covenant you want to

know what it looks

like if we can get the uh keyboardist up

here

come on

up what I want to what I want to

highlight here is when God sets a

covenant with

man he has two different types of

covenants

one says this is what I'm going to do

this is what you're going to do and he

says if you follow me I will make your

land fruitful I will make sure that you

are that that no enemy that comes

against you will ever Prosper I will

make sure that all this stuff happens

it's going to be Grace if you reject me

I don't care how much you water your

agriculture Community it will not

produce and if you reject me the enemies

and the people surrounding you are going

to conquer you and he sets a covenant

like that but that's but that's these

like temporal national government

like covenants that he makes and then he

makes a higher Covenant he does this

with

Abraham he does this

uh with with Jesus he reaffirms

this and what happens is is with

Abraham that he steps out of his tent

and he sees God show up and he takes

this sacrifice and he splits it in half

and it says that God walks through the

sacrifice now what happened

traditionally in those days is when two

kings would make an agreement they would

make a sacrifice they would split it and

they both would walk through hand in

hand together saying we are going to do

our parts in this

agreement What God

Says is I'm going to do my

part and you're going to fail at your

part but I uphold my

part I'm the one who does the

work Jesus says we we recognize our sin

separates us from the life of God so the

consequences of sin is death and he says

I will do my part

you you'll be incredibly

imperfect and just do your best to keep

humbly submitting to me again and again

every time you

fail that's what I'm supposed to be

modeling

that's the actual design that

marriage is written

after that's why it's such a grievance

Jesus says you are permitted to get a

divorce you are permitted but it's just

not the design it's not the goal it's

not the heart the whole thing is a

picture of my relationship with you and

all the offenses that you feel like you

have carried in that I've got a thousand

more

so if we can stand up in here what I

want to do is I've got I've got a

marriage a new marriage covenant

here because I believe that

marriage if we've made the wrong

agreement in our

marriage if we've made the wrong

agreement or maybe you're just like I

want to make sure that I remember this

for when I start dating for when I get

married for when I get engaged something

like that if you're like man I need to

remember this so that I don't set this I

give you give typ of scratching each

other's back type of situation maybe

that's what you want but I've got a new

marriage covenant here and it's just

designed off of what we see within

scripture and I've got if we can get if

we can get the ushers to just spread

these out I got four different piles

here we can just spread them out around

here so that you can come up and grab

these but here's here's what the the

marriage covenant can we get it pulled

up on the

screen and this is the agreement it says

we commit

we commit to us do we have

that do we have the marriage covenant

can we get that thrown up on the screen

here we go we commit to us for as long

as we

live pacing ahead in our

trials and rejoicing together in our

successes we will pursue Unity even in

the face of disagreement

and we will choose

love over

winning remember that as soon as you

start competing and who wins the battle

who wins the argument you've already

[Music]

lost with our whole

selves we

promise

Mutual Selfless Love unconditional love

and lifelong commitment

for the glory of God and the

discipleship of each

other for the glory of

God and the discipleship of each

other so that my marriage my

relationship is not just about me

getting what I want but us becoming who

he's

designed

that is our

covenant that is our commitment

and if I want that then I say no to the

things that I need to say no to in

marriage and in

dating and in

preparation so that I can say yes to the

greatest

yes so that I can say I'm going to I'm

going to shape this Covenant and we're

not going to just agree on a contract we

are going to stand firm on an agreement

that is through the Lord and the Lord's

eyes and it's his witness and then I

want you to take this I want you to pray

it over yourselves I want you to do it

regularly I want you to do it frequently

because one time one sermon it ain't

going to cut it dive into this pray this

every single week and here's the thing

if you've got a spouse that's not a

Believer or does not engag with this

there's only one

line there's only one line that we

promise Mutual Selfless

Love everything else you can just

replace we with I

commit to us for as long as I live I'll

Pace ahead in our trials and rejoice

together in our successes I will pursue

unity in the face of disagreement and I

will choose love over winning with my

whole self I promise Selfless Love and

lifelong commitment even if my spouse

may not be able to promise the same

Christlike love because they've never

received the Christlike love you want to

know who's going to be the Revelation

Giver of Christlike like

love there's no one better than

you for the glory of God and the

discipleship of each other it still

stands the Covenant still

stands and you can set this Covenant and

you can put it in stone and you can say

I'm making this agreement and I want to

I I want to invite you guys up if you

haven't taken from it already I want to

invite you up to do that and I want to

pray over our relationships I want to

pray over our marriages and I want to

pray and and if if you

are if you're going man I want I want to

make this Covenant whether you are

married or whether you're like I'm

setting my future marriage on a covenant

like

this I'm setting it on this Foundation

if that's you I just want you I want you

to offer your sacrifice to the Lord and

go okay God it's all you he's already

paid the price you can grab it and I

want you to hold the Covenant up and I

want you to give it to God and I want us

to pray together we can close our eyes

here throw your hands in the air if

that's

you say God we commit to this God I give

it all to you Lord May our marriages in

this room go ahead in your own words be

praying to God in your own words be

praying to him Lord I pray that the

marriages in this room would be

reflective of more than just an exchange

of

goods I pray it'd be more than just an

change of services I pray this would be

a Divine

Covenant where we choose Grace like we

have received Lord I pray for the

marriages that are in this room that are

struggling I pray for the marriages that

are in this room that are Hollow I pray

for the marriages that are in this room

that are just

existing Lord I pray that there would be

life found in you in these marriages I

pray that you would restore intim iny I

pray you would restore a love for each

other and that it would be rooted in a

love for Christ and Lord I pray that as

we submit to you that we would find that

marriage is not just

endurable not just

enjoyable but the greatest most

fulfilling thing that we experience

human to human on this

Earth Lord I believe for a higher

calling of marriage in this place Lord I

pray over the marriages that are not

yet that can establish a covenant can

establish a

promise before it's ever even said that

we would look for people who are not

just going to meet a need that we feel

like we have but people that will align

with a Divine

[Music]

Covenant Lord I pray for marriages that

are more in love with you than each

other

other I pray for marriages that are

united because they chase after

you and therefore chase after each

other and God I

pray that through that that our homes

would be changed that our children would

be blessed and that generation to

generation to generation we will have

established a covenant that can be

modeled that can be followed and that

our children and Our Generations would

be able able to say I get what selfless

Covenant looks like cuz I saw it in my

mom and dad cuz I saw it in the areas

where

I I saw how much weakness there

was yet the love was greater Lord I pray

your love is

greater in the mighty name of Jesus we

pray

amen and I want to say real quick before

we finish up here you can come on up but

I I

this Covenant that the Lord has it's a

marriage covenant it's a promise but

it's it's actually

established in

Christ and if you've never aligned if

you've never had that moment where you

go man that's the type of Covenant that

I want of giving my whole self to Christ

and to The God Who gave his whole self

for

me I want you to know that you're not

alone in that and I want to meet you up

here at the prayer bear if you need

prayer or if you want to say I'm going

to give my life to Jesus for the first

time ever for the first time in a long

time I want to meet you up

here because your life is about to be

changed and because this the way that we

respond to this can't be done alone and

it has to be done together and I want to

help walk with you and give you some

guidance and give you some some tips if

you need a Bible I love to give it to

you over here so please meet me if

that's you saying I want to establish a

covenant with God would you meet me

right over here for the rest of us come

on can we give a hand to the word of the

Lord let's give him some praise

amen amen

amen I love that concept Pastor Drew of

contracts being incompatible with

marriage you guys can all have a seat if

you'd like to take a seat here um in

software the way code is written is a

bunch of if then statements okay if this

happens then that

happens and a lot of times in marriage

there's a lot of if then statements that

get written

right if you are kind to me I will be

kind to you MH if you are not giving to

me then I will not be giving to

you uh but one of the things that's

interesting is there's this just a tiny

little shift in the if then statement

that turns it from a contract into a

covenant and it's this if you are kind

to me I will still love you if you are

not kind to me I will still love you if

you give to me I will give to you if you

do not give to me I will still give to

you and you know this was modeled uh in

2 Timothy 2:13 it says say even if we

2 Timothy 2:13

are

faithless he remains

faithful why it says because he cannot

disown himself okay so when a spouse is

not doing something for you or is doing

something

negative it's actually disowning

yourself to respond in like manner okay

but it's honoring who who Christ is in

you to remain loving no matter what and

when you approach it that way all your

relationships your marriage just turns

into one big spiritual practice of being

formed more and more and more and more

into the image of Christ yeah and it

kind of doesn't even matter what happens

on the other side because as David said

the Lord is my shepherd I don't need a

thing I shall not want there's nothing

else that needs to be added to just

Christ alone and that's the good news of

Jesus is that just Christ alone for you

is enough for

everything including your marriage no

matter what state it's in mhm yeah