The paradoxes of a GODLY MAN // Relationships (part 2) // Pastor Drew

Hey man, good morning collective. How we

doing this morning? Let's go.

I am It is freezing cold outside. I am

so grateful for every single one of you

guys that came. Uh if this is your first

time today, you get extra stars in

heaven. Like I don't know what Jesus is

doing with that, but he's he's for sure.

He is. It is amazing coming when it was

-4 when I stepped outside this morning.

uh freezing cold. And I'll tell you guys

what we got stories like toms all over

the place. We had just last week six

people raised their hands making a

significant major decision for Jesus

Christ in their life. That's worth

celebrating.

I'm hearing about marriages being

restored. I'm hearing about walks with

Jesus being restored and God doing

things all the time. People are telling

their neighbors and family and

co-workers and friends about what God's

doing in their life and their lives are

changing and we don't even see that here

in this building. It is incredible. And

I'll tell you guys today, we almost

didn't have service.

Yes, I know the truck with we had we had

all sorts of problems and our setup

tearown team and Russ solving the

problem. Can we give a hand for our

setup tearown team? Let's go.

almost weren't able to make it happen.

It happened which tells me that there is

someone or someone's some people in here

that God is saying nothing's going to

stop this. I got a message for you. I

got something I'm doing inside of your

heart. I promise you. He is speaking.

It's up to us. Am I listening? Is my

heart prepared to receive

whatever he is saying to me? That is

what I I believe with everything in me.

And we're in a series on relationships.

And so we have this is I said last week

this is like offense 101. It is how to

how how to get your panties in a bunch

by listening to a sermon. It is like

whoa whoa whoa. What are you saying

there, Pastor Drew? Don't tell me how to

do my relationships. Don't tell me how

to do my dating. Don't me tell me how to

do my marriage. Any of that stuff. The

reality is is that it's one of the

biggest problems we have. And we need to

look to the word of God to see where the

truth lies so that we can see his

victory in our relationships as well.

Amen.

And I believe I believe this is

something that I want for all of us. And

if you are going, man, uh my relation I

need this. My relationship needs this. I

know of another person or other people

that also need this. This is great. If

you want to invite them on a Sunday,

that's amazing. If they have their own

home church, encourage them to stay

faithful and get plugged in even deeper

at their home church. And you can invite

them to our event that we have the night

after Valentine's Day stronger. Can we

pull up the stronger event here? This is

our stronger night on marriage and

dating. And we are going to be doing

this is it's actually going to be right

here in this room. We're going to have

desserts. Uh and it's going to be it's

going to be looking nice. We're going to

have desserts here available for you

guys. $10 donation. If you're not able

to swing that, don't worry about it.

Please don't let that change whether you

can come or not. Uh but you can scan

this QR code to sign up so we know who

to uh how many to expect here. And

invite your friends, invite your spouse,

invite whoever your neighbors. And I

want to encourage you guys because we

have a guest speaker both the morning of

the 15th and that evening that I could

not be more excited for. He has been one

of the most impactful people on my life

and I only was under his leadership for

a year and it wasn't because of all that

he did in terms of learning from the

great things. Some of the ways that he

was most impactful was me learning from

his biggest mistake that I got a front

row seat at seeing. This is a story.

He's got a powerful story of grace. He's

got a powerful story of restoration. And

uh and his wife's going to be joining

him. And so I want to encourage us to

come here as we conclude this

relationship series Sunday morning and

then Sunday evening when we get to do

this. Can we do that?

>> Bring our friends. Let's come is and and

increase your expectation. God is going

to be doing good things. Uh until then,

what we're going to be doing that night,

right after he speaks, we are going to

be having a panel for both dating and

for marriage, two different panels, and

you can text in your questions so that

we can answer them at this panel. If you

hear anything in the sermon, if you hear

anything through, if you're just

thinking throughout the week, and if

you're going, "Hey, your sermon didn't

hit on this issue that I've got in my

relationship. How do I handle this?" Or,

"You said this and you moved right past

it, and I'm trying to figure out what

the heck I'm supposed to do with THAT

THING YOU JUST SAID. Can you help me

out? How does that apply? Can you dive

deeper into whatever it may be?" Text

your questions 402915975.

go ahead, text them in there. And uh we

want we we want to be able to answer

your guys's questions so that it is as

relevant as possible for you. But today

I want to talk about the sermon today is

called the paradoxes of a godly man.

When any healthy relationship,

any healthy marriage has to have two

healthy parts. I'm going to be talking

about what it means to be a godly man

today. Pastor Morgan's going to be

talking next week about being a God, a a

woman of God. Uh, but today I want to

talk about a unique aspect of being a

godly man. And I want to speak a couple

things first. It's an asterisk here.

This mar this this sermon is for

everyone in this room. Okay? Don't check

out if you go, I'm a lady. Don't check

out if you go, I'm not married. Don't

check out of any of those things because

for married men, this is your like this

is your target. Where am I facing my

bow, right? Where am I aiming my arrow?

Where am I going? How can I become more

like who Jesus has called me to be? How

I how can I get closer to Christ

likeness and looking like him in my

life, in my relationships, in the way I

live this out? Young single men,

if you are not married, I need you to

hear this.

Listen to this message. And this is the

word I got. Become the type of man that

the type of woman of God that you want

to raise your kids

is looking for.

Become the type of man that the type of

woman of God that you want to raise your

kids. what she is looking for. You will

not be able to attract that that

beautiful God-honoring woman that's like

chasing after Jesus and you and and is

raising your kids in in in wisdom and

love and morality and and and you guys

ARE DOING THIS. DO NOT DO THAT. YOU WILL

NEVER find that if you are the guy

that's also still looking for the next

lady that's at the bar THIS WEEKEND.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND THAT. YOU'RE

NOT GOING TO FIND that if you are not

taking your relationship with God

seriously. Become that type of man.

Single woman, single women in this room,

regardless of what type of father you

had or what type of love you have

experienced or abuse you have

experienced, the word of God reveals the

type of man you should be looking for.

Our heart will always lead us towards

something, but our heart is deceitful

above all things. So just because it's

this is my type of guy, if it continues

to get you stuck in a rut, then maybe

that's not actually your type of guy.

It's just the way that you're that that

your trauma history has caused you to be

attracted to. And you got to go, what

should I actually be looking for in a

man? And we need to shift that. And then

married women, this this sermon is about

how to pray for your man. In fact, I got

something for what you we should be

doing, what the sermon is for, what the

sermon is not for. Here is what this

sermon is not for. Okay, specifically

to th though to to the ladies in this

room that you are sitting by your man.

What this sermon is not is free range

for your elbow. Okay? This is not an

opportunity for you to be able to go,

"Uh-huh." Right? This is not If you are

not someone who's going, "Amen, holler

back. AMEN. HALLELUJAH. GOD HAS GOT A

GOOD THING." RIGHT? LIKE PREACHERS,

PREACHER. If you're not that type of

person, don't start it today when your

husband or your boyfriend is sitting

right beside you. Right? This is not

what this is. This is not an opportunity

for you to be able to look at all the

areas where your man doesn't match up to

what you think he should be. Here's what

it is.

In the coming weeks,

you may see I hope that you do. I hope

you will see your man

change something. approach something,

choose vulnerability, do something in

response to what he hears today or in

this series. And in that moment, you do

not go,

you're just doing that because Pastor

Drew, because of the series, you just do

not.

Here's what you do in that moment. When

you see something different happening

because of that, what you do is you

encourage it. You encourage him in his

love languages. And if you're married,

you encourage him in the way that only

you can. If you know what I'm saying.

Okay, can we get along with Can we get

along WITH THAT? ARE WE GOOD? THESE ARE

the roles. This is what we're doing.

Let's jump into this sermon. Here we go.

Here we go. Okay. Um, we can be real

here. We got an amazing kids ministry. I

don't have to worry about what else is

happening, who else is in this room. So,

we got you can feel free to take them

over there. Okay. We can talk about it.

Okay. What I want to talk about today,

here's the big idea. The big idea I have

for us

men, I want us be oobleck.

Be oobleck. Anybody know at all what

oobleck is?

Scientifically, it's called

non-newtonian fluid.

It is.

It is a fluid.

That's kind of a fluid because let's see

if this still works. Here we go. Oh,

it's settled a little bit. Here we go.

Here we go. I got to get this working.

It is a fluid that when you are soft

with it and gentle with it, it is a

fluid.

But when you're firm with it, it is rock

solid.

You can take it with a hammer

and it still and then eventually it

becomes goes right back into a fluid. I

should have mixed this up beforehand and

tested this out. But so much so

I can hit this. It doesn't do anything.

I can form this into a ball and then

it disappears. it becomes liquid again.

This is oobleck. It's super easy to

make. If you want to make it at home

with your kids, you can as well. But

what I've got here,

oobleck is a scientific

uh it's it's just an anomaly. It's a

scientific paradox that it wasn't until

like 2009 or something that they were

able to actually predict oobleck and

actually figure out scientists at MIT

were studying children's play things in

order to figure out how is this working

and how am I supposed to predict what's

actually happening because what happens

is it's solid when it's brought with

pressure and it's fluid when it's

treated and it gives an opportunity for

gentleness. Obl

is like a man of God because

I need to get a headset here at some

point y'all.

Then I can use both my hands. Okay, here

we go. There it's a paradox. I believe

that men are called, men of God are

called to operate like oobleck in that

we have to be two things at the same

time. Obl is solid and liquid at the

same time. It is both and a man of God

needs to learn how to operate in two

realities at the same time. Now, this is

true for everyone. I believe God calls

us all to be able to. So, women, this is

something that you can learn from as

well. But I believe it must be led by a

man and that a man must be able to

operate in both of these realms

strongly. And there's a lot of different

ways that we see this. In fact, if we

look at the par there's there's tons of

paradoxes that we see that are led in

men. Uh we got uh we got three uh

passages that talk about what it means

to be a godly man. And you're going to

see these all over. I want men, I want

you guys to take a picture of this right

here or jot these notes down. 1 Timothy

1 Timothy 6:11–14

6:11-14,

Psalm 11:12, Ephesians 5:25-28. We're

Ephesians 5:25–28

going to be going over these just a

little bit, just barely touching on

these. And what's going to happen is I

want you to take time to read these,

study these, pray over these, highlight

the attributes that you see within

these, and allow for the Lord to be able

to work into your heart. 1 Timothy 6

11-14,

Psalm 11:12, and Ephesians 5:25-28.

Ephesians 5:25–28

So, what we're going to be doing, 1

Timothy is all about like Paul's

exhortation to pursue righteousness and

faithfulness. Ephesians 5 at the bottom

is about is specifically for husbands.

How should you treat and love your

wives? And then Psalm 11:12, it talks

about the blessing of and influence of a

man who fears the Lord. But what should

that life look like? What's actually the

the fruit of that? And so I want to

start off. Actually, we're going to dive

into the first one here. 1 Timothy, can

we pull that up? 1 Timothy 11 through14.

It says,

"But as for you, oh man of God,

flee these things."

This is a book written by Timothy who or

is written by Paul to Timothy. Tim Paul

calls Timothy his child in the faith. He

had no children and he ga and he raises

these leaders up in the church and this

guy now was was gets saved under Paul's

ministry, learns under him and then is

goes on a missionary journey with him

and now is a uh a leader at a local

church that he's got. And he's like kind

of the the leader of this city of a

whole bunch of different churches, house

churches that they have going on. and

he's leading this and he's talking to

Timothy. He's like, Timothy, I miss you.

He writes this letter and he says, "As

for you, oh man of God, before we jump

into the paradoxes of a godly man, I

want us to focus on this."

Paul calls out in his spiritual son his

identity, who he is in truth, who he is

in faith, who he is in reality. And this

is something that I want us men,

fathers, we need to be doing this, men,

we need to know our identity in Christ.

And we need to speak the identity of

Christ over our family, over our wives,

over our kids. It is not just the

woman's job. A woman is, let's let's be

honest, mom is a way better parent in

90% of situations than dad is. But

here's the reality. There's dysfunction

if either one is absent.

There's different dysfunctions if either

one is absent that we grow up with. And

then we see if mom is absent, it's

typically a little bit more internal. If

dad is absent, it's typically a little

bit more external. But here's the thing.

Absent doesn't mean physically. It means

in connection.

I've seen way too many people that care

and I'm like, man, the the issues you're

dealing with, if if I'm just trying to

help you and I'm just trying to figure

out, I would guess that you was your

father present was and well,

yes and no. The number of times I've

heard that, the number of times I've

seen this where it's I'm seeing these

same dysfunctions of an absent father,

but in reality it's a father that was

there but never available.

And what happens, guys, I need for us to

be men. and fathers, I don't care how

old your kids are. Take some time this

week. Call them up, sit them down, talk

to them, and speak the identity of

Christ over them. If you've never done

it in your life before, it'll feel a

little awkward, but it'll mean so much.

Even just a text. Hey, I want you to

know a voice memo. I want you to know

who you are in Christ. I believe in you.

I'm so thankful for you. And I want to

call out that you before anything else,

before you were my child, you were his.

And I believe that he is watching over

you. And he is an even better father

than I am.

Speak that life over them. This it's so

important. So uh what we see here then

we let's keep going. Flee these things.

Pursue. What should we pursue?

Righteousness, godliness, faith, love,

steadfastness,

gentleness. take time to pray over every

single one of these things. But

gentleness, if I'm thinking a man,

right? I'm thinking a man's man.

One of the first words I would use would

would use to describe would not be

gentleness, right? I'm thinking tough.

I'm thinking up in your face. I'm

thinking willing to take anything on.

Now, keep in mind, gentleness is lifted

listed right before what's next? WHAT'S

THE NEXT WORD?

>> FIGHT.

I BELIEVE there's a warrior in every

single man.

I believe there is I've seen I've seen

it expressed in a lot of different ways.

I've seen it expressed in guys that like

to use their fists and need to learn how

to control themselves. I've seen it in

guys going I'm going to defend my

family. I've seen it in guys going, "I'm

going to provide for my family." I've

seen it in in guys that are going, "You

don't talk to me that way. You know who

I am. You know how I can survive in the

streets. You know how I can I've seen

it. There's a warrior.

There's a fight. And we miss it and we

misame it a lot of times. Fight the good

fight. What is it? Of family. Kind of.

No. Almost. Fight the good fight of

provision. Good. Not quite. Not Not

fully. It fight the good fight of faith.

Men, we're called to be spiritual

leaders.

We're called to be warriors. And we're

called to be gentle.

This is this is a lot. That's see that

paradox. I'm calling this first paradox

of gentleness and fight. I'm calling

this a lover and a fighter. That's our

first paradox of being a godly man. I

got to be both a lover and I've got to

be a fighter. You've heard the

statement. Oh, I'm a I'm I'm not a I'm

I'm a lover, not a fighter. Here's the

reality. If you love, you must fight. If

you are fighting, it's for something

that you love or because of something

that you I love this thing and I'm

defending it even if it's just my own

pride. I love my pride. I feel like it's

being attacked and so I'm fighting

against it.

They they go together.

Defensiveness happens because something

I love is being attacked. And as a man

of God, I've got to learn how to be

both. Someone who loves intentionally,

who carries this gentleness, who carries

this righteousness, who carries this

truth, who carries a spiritual walk with

God on my own. And it's not because of

my pastor. It's not because of my

church. It's not because of any of that.

That just is fuel to my fire. Instead, I

carry my own fire as well. and I lead in

this way where I am both a lover

and a fighter.

We see this

in in Ephesians chapter 5 as well really

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

strongly. Ephesians chapter 5 says,

Ephesians 5 · chapter mention

"Husbands,

love your wives. Love your wives. Love

just as Christ loved the church and gave

himself up for her." So keep in mind

what this is not. This is not

loving your wife as your wife would love

your wife. Keep this in mind. Women, you

married a dude, right? We got some areas

that we got strengths and we got

weaknesses. Okay, I want us I don't know

about you guys. If you've ever stepped

in, maybe you've had a conversation. If

you've been in a relationship for longer

than a year, you probably have had a

conversation similar to one Morgan and I

had just had that. It was literally just

like last year she was having the same

conversation. It starts with,

you know, I'm not feeling as loved by

you as I want to right now.

Okay. Okay. That's ser I'm sorry. I I

love you. I understand you love me. I'm

just not feeling very loved by you.

Okay. Well,

I mean,

why not? Like, what what can I do?

Well, I want I want you to show me love.

It's like, well,

I was checking you out.

I slapped you on your butt.

What more could you want?

IT WASN'T QUITE THAT BAD, BUT THAT'S HOW

IT FELT for her, I'm sure. Like, what?

And I'm like, I'm doing great. And she's

like, no, you're not. No, you're not.

And so then I go, okay, what can I do?

How can I love you more? Well, I can't

tell you that.

I can't, RIGHT? WE KNOW THIS

CONVERSATION, RIGHT? WE KNOW THIS. I

CAN'T TELL YOU THAT. I WANT you to do

Okay. Okay. So, so I try it again and

then I end up I I I go, "Man, I'm going

to love you and I'm going to I'm I'm

going to sit have a conversation with

you." And I'm like, "Hey, babe. I just

want to connect." And she's like, "I'm

making dinner. The kids are literally

climbing all over me. DON'T DO WHAT ARE

YOU DOING? STOP IT RIGHT NOW." OKAY. SO,

I got to I got to I got to do the right

thing, but I got to do it in the right

time. And I got to do it right. I got to

do it in the right manner with not the

wrong motives. Not going, "Hey, baby.

You know what I'm No, no, no. That's not

what I'm looking for. I just I got to do

this magical AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO

IT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIGURE IT OUT.

AND I WILL SAY THERE'S TWO parts to

this. One, women, that's unrealistic.

Okay? Do not put that on us. We are not

that smart. We cannot be able to figure

out like exactly what you want, when you

want it, how you want it, at the time

that you want it, right? LIKE I DON'T

KNOW THAT. I CAN'T figure that out. But

here's what I at by the time we've had

this conversation like 10 times, I'm

beginning to go, uh, you know what? I

don't think this is all her fault

because we'd finish the conversation.

I'm like, "That's illogical. That

doesn't make sense. I can't read your

mind and give you the things that you

want, but you won't tell me that you

want." I'd like, I'm just going to leave

it as that. You're crazy. No. No.

There's a genuine desire, men, for

authentic connection that is

intentional,

that requires forthought, that requires

like, I'm actually thinking about this.

I'm actually prepping this. I'm actually

And I may fall flat on my face, but at

least I tried. That's like 90% of the

dates that I planned. Just ask my wife.

It's terrible. I am so bad. I actually I

don't want to brag, but I took her out

to dinner successfully this last week.

So, I Yes, I was celebrating that. I was

celebrating second time attempted at

this restaurant. She said, "Oh, what

time is our reservation?" And I go,

"Reser what?"

I missed it, guys. I missed it. So, uh,

I got to be a lover. I got to love my

wife. But here's the way that I do it.

As Christ loved the church.

So, I love

in the way that Jesus did. How did Jesus

do? Did he walk around and hug everybody

all the time? Did he walk around and

just say, "Oh, you're so pretty. Oh,

you're so nice. You're so cool." No. He

led them and he served them.

He washes their feet. He brings healing

in the house. He brings people He brings

blessing everywhere he goes. This is

this is where we see this idea of the

second paradox of a man of God. It is

being a loving servant and a solid

leader.

We think as men that I'm leading this

house, so I must do so with a strong

fist and a firm foot. The reality is is

I when I lead like Jesus leads, I

actually begin to lead by serving and

coming underneath. In fact, this is why

we see the context of Ephesians 5, which

also says, "Wives, submit to your

husbands." It's easy to take that

passage and go, "See, woman," and take

it out of context. You want to know the

verse right before women submit to your

husbands?

Submit to one another as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:20.

Ephesians 5:20

And then it says, here's the wives role.

Here's the husband's role. And so it's

this picture of wives submit. Men love

like Christ, which is this serving

place. And it's this battle for humility

and for honoring the other person and

for coming underneath the other person

and lifting them up and for serving

them. And when we start to do that, men,

then we actually see what godly manhood

and leadership looks like. Being a

loving servant and a solid leader. I

will lead in the areas where I see where

where I'm where God is calling us. I've

got a vision. I've got a I I see where

God's leading. This is where can we pull

back up Ephesians 5? And this is where

we see uh that that Jesus sanctified

her, having cleansed her, her being the

church, having cleansed her by the

washing of water with the word. It's

this presentation is this going, I'm

preparing you for eternity. You're

preparing me for eternity just as Jesus

is preparing the church for eternity.

And I by the by the power of the word of

God, I am ministering in this way.

So this is in this is I'm I'm got to I

got to keep going y'all. Okay, we're

going to move on to paradox number

three. It is being both gracious

and just.

How do these things hold hands? It's

oobleck, right? We have to be able to do

both at the same time. Psalm 112:es 4-5

and says, "Light dawn in the darkness

for the upright. He is gracious,

merciful, and righteous.

Grace and mercy. Grace means undeserved

favor. You give to someone a good thing

that they do not deserve. When you

deserve something bad, I'm going to give

you a good thing instead.

It is well with a man who deals

generously and lends who conducts his

affairs with justice.

I can get behind justice or I can get

behind grace. How do I get behind both?

How do I figure this out? As a man of

God, we got to learn how to wrestle with

this. How to be able to give favor when

it is due and how to stand firm and give

correction for our kids, for the areas

of our life that there is conviction. We

have to stand firm on this. We are

gracious and we are just. I'm going to

stand for those who do not have a voice.

I'm going to be a protector. I'm going

to be someone who is a victor over the

enemy. This is who I'm going to be. And

this so I will I will both I will be

both of these things. You won't find me

sitting back on grace and going, "Ah, I

don't know. Do what you want." You won't

find me living too strong in justice and

saying, "I don't care. You did it wrong.

There's a problem. There's a

consequence."

You will find me giving too much grace

and at times feeling like it's too much

justice. That's what I see in the Lord

where I see his grace is offensive

and his justice is strong.

Men, we've got to be both.

And lastly, the fourth paradox of a

godly man is courageously resolute

and vulnerably vulnerably connected.

I believe that this is one of the peak

descriptions of what we should be. As a

man, I'm a protector. As a man, I'm

courageous. I'm I will face fear. I will

take this fight in me and I will aim it

in the right direction. And when things

come against me, I'll be unpenetrable.

But when I'm around, here's the problem,

men. We have a strong defense mode. And

when we're around our wives, a lot of

times we don't turn that off and allow

for ourselves to connect

and allow for ourselves to embrace

safety and allow for ourselves to

actually now women, you can help help

make sure that there that this is a safe

environment

and that it doesn't feel like there's

attack because we're way better at

defense. We're way better at

courageously resolute. I know what I

want. I know where I'm going. I know

what the truth is. I know my direction.

I know my flesh. I know my feelings. And

I I'm standing in these things and I

will be courageously resolute and you

won't be able TO STOP ME. YOU PROBABLY

WON'T. But men,

we've also got to be vulnerably

connected.

See, the writer of the majority of the

Psalms, well, let me let me pull up

Psalm 112 7-8. I love this passage.

He is not afraid of bad news. His heart

is firm,

trusting in the Lord. His heart is

steady. He will not be afraid until he

looks in triumph on his adversaries.

Come on. Right? Is that not like the

most masculine verse you've ever read?

like, I'm going to flipping conquer this

thing. Let's go. I'M GOING TO DO THIS. I

LOVE IT. I am when when bad news comes,

I'm choosing courage instead. But

David, the author of the majority of the

Psalms, you want to know how he led? He

was a warrior. He was a victor. He would

go out AND HE'D TAKE BATTLES and he'd

win them and but he would do so AND THEN

HE'D GO BACK TO his to his his his tent

to his tabernacle and he'd write and

he'd journal and he'd pray and he'd cry

and he'd worship and he'd SING AND HE'D

DANCE IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY AND HE'D GO

AND HE'D LEAD THE people and be like,

"We just need to TRUST IN JESUS. GOD IS

GOD'S LEADING US. HE'S OVER ALL OF THIS.

DON'T YOU WORRY. LET'S GO AND KILL SOME

PEOPLE. LET'S GO." RIGHT? Like he just

carried both of these things at the same

time. He carried an emotional

availability that was deeply vulnerable

not to everyone but to the Lord.

And then I believe men, we need to have

our deepest vulnerability with the Lord.

And we need to be connected and

vulnerable with our brides as well

because we don't want to we don't want

to be 100% vulnerable in every place

that we go. One, that's not healthy. two

that just doesn't fit in the way that

God created us. Right? I don't know

about you guys. If you are the type of

guy that goes like when I when I sit at

a restaurant, Morgan knows I want to sit

in the seat that faces the front door. I

want to be able to see. I'm not quite to

the like, okay, I'm imagining every

single thing that every single person

could do. But I like to know where the

exits are, right? I like to I like to

know what's going on around me. I like

to know who's surrounding me. If

someone's looking shady, things like

that. I just like to be aware of it. But

here's the reality. I can be courageous

and yet actually thinking I'm being

courageous and actually be afraid.

And instead, I got to choose

courage, courageously resolute and

vulnerable connection at the same time.

I got to know when to be strong and

firm. I got to know when attack is

coming and I cannot be shaken. And I got

to know when it is time to let down my

guard, men,

to take some time and allow

for connection.

allow for connection with your wife and

then I would argue men, single men, find

some other brothers

that you can be vulnerable with.

The type of brothers that you go, I'm

not I'm not a I'm not a crier, but I can

I can be I can be real in this group. I

can be genuine. I can I can let my guard

down in this group. This is the place.

Why? Because then a a band of brothers

will lift each other up and we'll be

able to stand stronger

because I know my closest friends and

the people the accountability partners

that I've had. I know as we stand, can

we stand up in here? The accountability

partners I've had, I know what's going

on and I know the things that are going

on in their heart and they don't have to

say a word. I know when I got to come by

their side and I got to come and support

them and they're fully capable of being

able to battle right through something.

But I want them to be able to be

courageously resolute and deeply

vulnerably connected at the same time.

And so we've got to men stand together.

We've got to men stand strong at the

right time. And we've got to men learn

how to let this guard down at times and

be real.

So, I want what I want to do is I I want

to challenge us in here

is the men would we would we make a

commitment? Can we pull up the the four

paradoxes?

Can we make a commitment

to go I'm going to do my best to be a

lover and a fighter?

I'm going to do my best to be a loving

servant.

a servant

and a solid leader

at the same time. I'm not always coming

in submission and trying to let you make

all the decisions and try to I don't

know what what happened. I will let you

I'll let you pick. I for for me, this is

one thing I was taught by a wise uh a

man who had been married for longer than

I've been married yet, almost 15 years.

And he said, I let my wife make all of

the small decisions. and I build trust

and I build faith and I build that so

that she knows when it comes to the big

decisions if I feel confident in the

Lord and I say God's calling us to move

that this is not something that I've

been pushing her around all the time and

I'm pushing her around again that this

is that she goes oh man okay I can tell

this is the Lord this is the moment I'm

going to serve and that's how I lead I

will be gracious

more gracious ious than I want to be.

And I'll be just when it comes time.

I'll be a protector. I'll make sure that

justice happens. I will make sure that

my family knows that that that they've

got me at the front of the lines.

I will be courageously resolute.

I will know where I'm going. I will

carry a vision from the Lord. I will

speak it over my family. And I will be

vulnerably connected. Man, I believe

sometimes one of the greatest things we

could do is say sorry. I think one of

the deepest things we can do is to is to

admit and to confess and go, "Hey, I I I

want I practice this with my kids. Hey,

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this."

The way the way I responded there, I may

have even done the right thing in the

sense of like I still sent you to your

room, but the but the anger that I

presented in that wasn't wasn't

appropriate. It didn't show the love

that I have for you. I'm sorry for that.

you're doesn't make you what you did

right, but I want you to know before the

Lord, I go to him first and then I'm

coming to you and I'm letting you know.

And I want them to see a father

that will stand firm on decisions,

but will also connect, will also be

available. And it's incredibly

uncomfortable.

You'll fail a thousand times before

you'll succeed once.

But I'll encourage us men.

Here's the challenge. Will we rise to

it?

As men of God, am I willing to carry the

paradox of what it means to be a man of

God?

I'm going to take this time. I'm going

to get this ready and then right after

service I will I'll have this oobleck

out in some bags. And if you want if you

want a reminder

of what of of being both things at the

same time and I I got I got some cups

and I got a bag that you can take some

oobleck home and you can keep that with

you. Uh or you can literally look it up

online. It's the easiest recipe of all

time. So I want to encourage us. I want

to pray us out. Heavenly Father, I pray

for every man in this room. God, I pray

for every woman in this room that is

looking for a man that has a that is

that is lifting up her husband, Lord,

that is carrying in this way. Lord, I

pray that you would rise up in this

nation and in this church. We will not

be men of this world that seem to find

ourselves being a fighter of our spouses

and vulnerable with the mirror and that

is it. Father God, I pray Lord for men

that are willing to be courageous and

vulnerable, that are willing to be

lovers and fighters, that are willing to

be soft and hard at the same time, to be

solid and to be fluid all at the same

time. Be ready to move and ready to

fight. Lord, would you make us men more

like you? Because God,

it's not going to happen by us looking

to the world. It's not going to happen

by us listening to a sermon. It's going

to happen by looking to you, Jesus, and

you alone who modeled in the garden of

Gethsemane.

A heart that was courageously resolute

and deeply vulnerable as you wept tears

and yet stood on where you were going.

Father God,

make us more like Jesus.

May we be men. May this church be filled

with men

that can carry the paradox that you call

us to.

And God, I pray for the grace as we

figure it out and work it out how we're

supposed to do this. In the mighty name

of Jesus, we pray. Amen. Amen. Come on.

Can we give a hand for the word of the

Lord?

>> Hey, thanks so much for watching today's

message. Our prayer is more than the

words that were spoken in the message

that you would remember the things that

God spoke to your heart.

>> Yeah. And no matter what it was that God

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>> Yeah. Thanks so much for watching. We're

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We believe that the best days are ahead

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