Sermon

9 Keys to a THRIVING Relationship // Relationships (part 4) // Pastor Drew

Collective Church Omaha

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  1. It's Super Bowl Sunday.

  2. >> Let's go. We got anybody here rooting

  3. for the Patriots?

  4. >> Let's go. Anybody rooting for the

  5. Seahawks?

  6. >> Who here's rooting for the commercials?

  7. >> And who here's rooting for the food?

  8. >> Let's go. There you go. Those are the

  9. four type of Super Bowl watchers right

  10. there. Rooting. You got a team, you like

  11. the commercials, or you're just in it

  12. for the social environment, right? Uh

  13. guys, I am so glad to be here today. We

  14. are uh doing our in the middle of our

  15. relationship series. We have been

  16. getting some amazing questions texted

  17. in. I want to encourage you guys, please

  18. keep texting in your questions. We've

  19. got a panel uh some breakouts that we're

  20. doing or not tomorrow, next week in the

  21. evening. So, uh, for our stronger event,

  22. and we're going to have we're going to

  23. be able to answer tons of these

  24. questions, guys. We got some good ones.

  25. We got some seriously

  26. uh some seriously hard questions that

  27. I'm really excited for us to be able to

  28. get into. Next week, we have a guest

  29. speaker. So, if you are planning on

  30. missing a Sunday, don't miss next week,

  31. guys. I cannot tell you how excited I

  32. am, how eager I am for what God has to

  33. speak next week. But uh can we get the

  34. uh stronger invite? Where's the where's

  35. the stronger invite? If you've got that

  36. uh the with the QR code and all that on

  37. there, we want to make sure if you

  38. haven't signed up, sign up. Keep this.

  39. There it is. Keep this so that you can

  40. invite your friends, invite uh your

  41. neighbors, whoever else it is. We want

  42. to make sure that this I just think it's

  43. going to be a blessing. And I want as

  44. many people as possible to be blessed by

  45. it. Amen. I like to get I don't want to

  46. just receive a blessing. I want to be a

  47. blessing. Amen.

  48. >> Amen. Amen. That's what we're called to

  49. be here. So feel free until then. You

  50. can text your questions in 402215. Wait,

  51. wait. Am I right on that? 402975097

  52. 91575.

  53. Where's the text number? 402915975.

  54. I'm pretty sure is where we're at.

  55. That's what it is. That's it. There it

  56. is. Okay. I'm going to need a little bit

  57. of grace here. I got like 50% of my

  58. brain engaged right now. And so, I'm

  59. going to appreciate. And today

  60. we're talking about the nine keys to

  61. make any relationship thrive. And so

  62. this is basically y'all. This is nine

  63. sermons in one.

  64. Are you ready? Are we ready to like you

  65. better you get your NOTES OUT? YOU GUYS

  66. GOT TO GET READY because this is going

  67. to be good. I guarantee you you're going

  68. to be able to get something out of this.

  69. And uh I I believe that God has called

  70. us to thrive in our relationships.

  71. Psalm 133:1 says, "How good and pleasant

    Psalms 133:1

  72. it is when God's people live together in

  73. unity."

  74. We were called. God wants you to be

  75. thriving

  76. in every single one of your

  77. relationships.

  78. And I believe

  79. this is this is my my big statement for

  80. today. I believe that the health of our

  81. relationships with others

  82. reveals the health of our relationship

  83. with God.

  84. We always have a very optimistic view of

  85. our relationship with God because it's

  86. hard to sometimes make it practical. Oh,

  87. I pray. I believe in him. I value him.

  88. Things like that. And so I feel good

  89. about it. when in reality there's some

  90. key ways that I can actually look at my

  91. life and I can look at how I'm living

  92. and how I'm interacting with other

  93. people and it gives me a better pulse on

  94. actually how my relationship with God

  95. is. One of the key factors that I look

  96. at is the health

  97. of my relationships that I have around

  98. me. Now, keep in mind, every

  99. relationship in order to be fully

  100. reconciled takes two parts, right? It's

  101. not about having every relationship be

  102. perfectly healthy, but my interaction

  103. and my part of that relationship,

  104. that tells me a ton about my

  105. relationship with the Lord. And we're

  106. going to walk through some of these

  107. things, but I see this because uh first

  108. John says, "Whoever loves God must also

  109. love his brother."

  110. Matthew says, "A lack of Matthew 5,

  111. Jesus says, "A lack of reconciliation

  112. with others actually hurts our worship

  113. to God."

  114. Isn't that crazy? John 13, Jesus says,

  115. "People will know that you are my

  116. disciples

  117. by the way you love others.

  118. In John 1 John 3, it says, "We know we

  119. are saved. I know I'm saved by the way I

  120. love others." The way you carry your

  121. relationships reveals the way that I am

  122. holding my relationship with God.

  123. And so this is why this is one of our

  124. most important. It's one of the most

  125. impactful series. We do this series

  126. every single year because we always got

  127. areas to work in our relationships. And

  128. I want to give these opportunities

  129. because this is something that uh I I

  130. we're as we talk through the nine keys

  131. to make any relationship thrive. I want

  132. us to think about this through a

  133. specific lens.

  134. Think about this through the lens of a

  135. relationship

  136. that is important to you

  137. whether you want it to be or not. A

  138. relationship that is important that is

  139. valuable and that you wish was a little

  140. bit stronger that you would like to be

  141. able to improve.

  142. So this is almost always right having a

  143. a spouse in our marriage that's

  144. important. Maybe it's with a sibling. It

  145. is with a parent or a child.

  146. Maybe it's with a friend

  147. that you you've felt they've had tension

  148. in the relationship. Maybe it's with the

  149. church. Maybe it's with God. But I

  150. believe that there is an interpersonal

  151. horizontal relationship that's going to

  152. be impacted by our vertical

  153. relationship. Look at where you have

  154. with someone else that you want to see

  155. this relationship strengthen. And then

  156. look at what I can do to take part to

  157. make this relationship thrive. Okay. So,

  158. that's what we're going to be going

  159. through. That's what we're looking at

  160. today. First of all, nine sermons in

  161. one, y'all. So, this is about to get

  162. fast. Here we go. Nine keys to make any

  163. relationship thrive. And number one is

  164. center your relationship on Christ.

  165. This is the most important one.

  166. This is the number one.

  167. The relationship must be centered on

  168. Christ

  169. because

  170. every other one fails if I'm not

  171. utilizing his perfect love, my

  172. relationship with him. The reality of

  173. this picture is uh I've I've seen this

  174. in it's called the the marriage

  175. triangle. If you've ever seen I don't

  176. know if you still have Do you have that

  177. you have that slide up here? It's a

  178. black slide. It's got the marriage

  179. triangle on it. It should uh maybe not.

  180. But what happens is you got this you got

  181. a picture triangle. You got the base and

  182. you've got the husband. You got the

  183. wife. But here's the idea. This is any

  184. and every relationship.

  185. And then you've got Christ at the top.

  186. And you've got this relationship, this

  187. horizontal relationship. If I want to

  188. get closer

  189. to each other, if I want to make this

  190. relationship closer, the problem is I've

  191. got a chasm in between us of sin and

  192. imperfection.

  193. The closer I get to you, the more our

  194. imperfections actually are highlighted.

  195. the more our imperfections start to

  196. shine and reveal themselves and the more

  197. the relationship gets bumpy and

  198. difficult and hard. Now, here's the

  199. reality. The closer I get to Christ on

  200. this triangle, the closer I get to him,

  201. the closer we get to each other.

  202. So the key in Morganized marriage

  203. often times is not I need to get closer

  204. to her. It's I need to get closer to

  205. Christ so that I can experience his love

  206. gives give his love to her so that I am

  207. able to love her greater than my ability

  208. or that my flesh wants to love in this

  209. moment. Amen. Cuz my flesh ain't

  210. perfect. I want I actually I want to

  211. avoid my flesh. I want to do whatever

  212. the opposite of what my flesh wants to

  213. do is. and I want to chase her. I want

  214. to chase the Lord, but I want to chase

  215. her because of the way that I love the

  216. Lord.

  217. Here's the here's the crazy thing. If

  218. you are if you're in a relationship or

  219. in this relationship that you're

  220. thinking about that you're like, "Oh

  221. man, they don't they don't love Jesus at

  222. all. I cannot center this relationship

  223. on Christ." I will tell you what, I

  224. promise you the relationship will be

  225. better if even just one of you is

  226. chasing and centering your part of the

  227. relationship on with Christ. I promise

  228. you

  229. because every relationship demands

  230. someone be the reconciler. Demands

  231. someone be the person that that breaks

  232. the brokenness of the marriage and

  233. chooses forgiveness first, chooses grace

  234. first, chooses kindness first, chooses

  235. generosity first.

  236. And I'm not going to be able to find

  237. that on my own. If I find it on my own,

  238. if I do it on my own, then it's going to

  239. be like this. Well, I'm a bigger, better

  240. man, so I'mma do this anyway, right? And

  241. then I'm not actually doing it. I'm not

  242. actually be showing selfless love. I am

  243. getting I'm trying to show you how great

  244. I am and how much better I am than you

  245. and I'm hurting the relationship more.

  246. No, when I get closer to Christ, I'm

  247. going to be able to give his love.

  248. So, the first thing we need to do is we

  249. need to make sure we center our

  250. relationships

  251. on Christ.

  252. We're going to keep diving into this.

  253. There's so much to go, but uh here we

  254. go. Next, number one. Number two, speak

  255. empathy. Oh, there we go. Let's get back

  256. there. Let's get back there. You guys

  257. are awesome. Thank you. Okay. See that?

  258. So, bottom right, it talks about it

  259. shows like it's the picture of husband

  260. and wife, which is the epitome of

  261. intimate relationship. So your biggest

  262. benefits and your biggest burdens are

  263. going to come in marriage. Amen. Amen.

  264. Here we go. So that's why we have this

  265. brokenness that we have in this in in

  266. this correlation here. What a healthy

  267. relationship, healthy marriage, healthy

  268. relationship should look like is step

  269. one, God loves us. God's always chasing

  270. us. So we got this step one arrow coming

  271. down. And then step two is we love and

  272. we chase God. And then step three,

  273. therefore I am able to love and and and

  274. give grace and give the right kind of

  275. love to the other person in the

  276. relationship. This is the cord of three

  277. strands. This is what it looks like to

  278. have a healthy relationship. Now you can

  279. have an anemic marriage with either a

  280. wife deficit or a husband deficit where

  281. only one person in the relationship is

  282. chasing God and able to give love

  283. accordingly.

  284. Give his love accordingly.

  285. But we were all created to be in this

  286. mutually blessed marriage relationship.

  287. This is how it works. So this is

  288. marriage highlights some of the biggest

  289. problems that we have. This is a great

  290. example of something that actually will

  291. apply outside of marriage as well. Okay,

  292. here we go. Thank you slides, guys. Here

  293. we go. Number two. Number one is center

  294. your relationship on Christ. Number two

  295. is speak empathy

  296. before

  297. truth.

  298. This might be a little bit more to the

  299. fellas

  300. than it is to the ladies. Guys, we love

  301. to just fix a problem.

  302. Yes,

  303. we love I see a problem. Well, and I'm

  304. just like Morgan's like, I'm so stressed

  305. about this thing. And I'm like, well,

  306. stop thinking about it.

  307. Done.

  308. Getting move your brain into another box

  309. and just like just stop. Okay, just you

  310. don't have to. She's like, yeah. She's

  311. like, wow, thanks. You're real helpful,

  312. real kind, aren't you? And I'm like, it

  313. works for me.

  314. Yeah, it's not that's not good. Don't do

  315. that. Don't do that. Right. Uh so here's

  316. the thing that I find though. Empathy. I

  317. find that I I there's there's certain

  318. circles that are that are highlighting

  319. and and trying to run away and and turn

  320. away from empathy

  321. and even in in a way that they're trying

  322. to even do it to the glory of God. And

  323. I'm like, that is what in the world are

  324. you doing? Do you know what Emmanuel

  325. means?

  326. God with us.

  327. It is this picture. Empathy is this

  328. picture of be with them.

  329. It's not sympathy. It's not I feel bad

  330. for you. It's like, oh, I'm with you. I

  331. feel this. I'm so like I want to get in

  332. your shoes and feel what you're feeling

  333. a little bit. This is why scripture

  334. says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice.

  335. Mourn with those who mourn." Romans

    Romans 12:15

  336. 12:15. We are called to empathize. But

  337. keep in mind, this is the problem that

  338. we then get with empathy in our world.

  339. This is the problem that some people

  340. have with, well, empathy is a problem.

  341. No, it's not. Empathy is the good thing,

  342. but it means be with them, not

  343. necessarily agree with them. Okay, keep

  344. in mind I will I may be with you in the

  345. midst of the lies that the enemy is

  346. speaking to your heart and recognize I

  347. have believed these same lies. I have

  348. stood in these same problems or maybe I

  349. haven't but I have believed lies of the

  350. enemy before and I want to see you see

  351. victory in this

  352. but I am not going to affirm the lies of

  353. the enemy over you. I'm going to be with

  354. you and then speak truth. Ephesians 4:15

    Ephesians 4:15

  355. says speak truth in love. Speak truth in

  356. love and that is how we'll grow to

  357. become in every respect the mature body

  358. of him who is the head that is Christ.

  359. Ephesians 4:15. This is how we actually

    Ephesians 4:15

  360. achieve maturity by coming together

  361. loving each other and through the love

  362. of Christ that we then speak truth and

  363. then that is how we achieve maturity as

  364. a church. Isn't that crazy? We have to

  365. do it. We have to speak truth. Number

  366. three, do not defend.

  367. Understand.

  368. So you may have a relationship maybe

  369. with a kid that you're just trying to

  370. that that that you're trying to

  371. reconcile this thing and you're trying

  372. to figure this out, but every single

  373. time you start in a conversation, it

  374. just becomes banter and bickering and

  375. arguing and then yelling and it just

  376. gets worse and worse because they're

  377. coming and they're attacking you. And so

  378. what do you do? You stop it and you

  379. attack back. You don't. NO, THAT'S NOT

  380. WHAT I WAS SAYING. YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT

  381. WHAT I WAS SAYING. I WAS TALKING ABOUT I

  382. WAS TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU DID, NOT WHO

  383. YOU ARE. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? RIGHT?

  384. Like and then we just get these issues

  385. and we get these arguments because I

  386. feel attacked and so I defend and I

  387. attack back.

  388. Here's the reality.

  389. If I choose

  390. to do relationships God's way, I'm going

  391. to follow James 1:19.

    James 1:19

  392. And this is really uncomfortable. This

  393. is really hard. This is going to take

  394. lots of practice. James 1:19 says

    James 1:19

  395. everyone should be quick to listen,

  396. slow to speak,

  397. and slow to become angry. Our first job

  398. is actually to listen,

  399. not to defend,

  400. to be curious and try to understand

  401. what's going on. This is often called

  402. empathic listening. It's about going and

  403. speaking back what I hear you saying is

  404. I'm I'm not just going to speak what

  405. you're telling me, right? Like I'm mad

  406. that you didn't show up to my event.

  407. Okay. So, I hear you saying that you're

  408. mad that I didn't show up to your event.

  409. No, I'm not going to say that. But I'm

  410. going to return back. I'm going to

  411. listen. I'm going to go

  412. Are you It sounds like you're saying

  413. that you felt abandoned or you felt

  414. lonely at that event. Is that accurate?

  415. Right. And I'm going to try to what I

  416. the emotion that I hear is being spoken.

  417. I'm going to speak that back. I'm going

  418. to listen. I'm not going to defend. I'm

  419. going to listen first. I'm going to be

  420. slow to speak. I always think about this

  421. professor that I had in in in college

  422. and you'd ask him a question. And he'd

  423. go

  424. and every single time he'd just put he

  425. he'd he'd put his finger right over his

  426. big old mustache that he had and he'd

  427. just

  428. and I'm like, do I need to restate what

  429. I said? Like this is awkward silence.

  430. I'm not sure exactly what I'm supposed

  431. to do next.

  432. And then he'd respond with one sentence

  433. that answered the deepest parts of my

  434. questions as thoroughly as possible. And

  435. I'm like,

  436. "Okay, wow." And I had to learn how to

  437. just like be okay with the silence. But

  438. he was quick to listen. He was slow to

  439. speak. And he never I mean, in college,

  440. you're often talking theology and

  441. debating and why do you say this and

  442. what are we doing about this? and and he

  443. would give the most thoughtprovoking,

  444. thoughtfilled

  445. answers

  446. after about a 30- secondond awkward

  447. pause.

  448. Be quick to listen,

  449. slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

  450. All right, number four. Here we go. Is

  451. be a servant first.

  452. I don't know about any anybody in here

  453. competitive.

  454. Let's go. Let's go. I'm a little bit

  455. competitive. I find competition in a

  456. competitive behavior is actually a

  457. benefit. Something that you can use in

  458. your in your walk with the Lord. It can

  459. become a problem. Amen. It can become a

  460. problem at times. But what I want to do

  461. is I want to be competitive in ways that

  462. are like I I want to be the greatest

  463. servant in this relationship.

  464. I want to be I I truly I want to be the

  465. hungriest person I know chasing after

  466. Jesus, right? Like I want I want to turn

  467. this competitiveness in the right way.

  468. And this is one of the best ways that I

  469. find to make any relationship thrive. Be

  470. competitive in serving each other.

  471. Scripture says outdo one another and

  472. showing honor. Right? Like in this like

  473. I got this competition. I'm going to

  474. honor you more. No, no, no. I'm going to

  475. honor you more. No, I'm going to honor

  476. you more. Right? Like we are going to do

  477. this. When when Morgan and I in our in

  478. our marriage choose to try to outdo one

  479. another and out serving the other

  480. person, we thrive. When we sit back and

  481. we wait for the other person to serve

  482. us, we begin to suffer. Things begin to

  483. get hard. Matthew 9:35 Jesus says, "If

    Matthew 9:35

  484. anyone wants to be first, he must be the

  485. very last and the servant of all

  486. and your relationships that are

  487. struggling. Serve them

  488. selflessly

  489. with no expectation. And in fact, the

  490. best ways to do it is in ways that they

  491. cannot give back in return.

  492. in ways that you know you are going to

  493. be the giver and you don't have to

  494. receive anything back. Be the person

  495. that chooses to serve the other person

  496. first.

  497. Serve them. This is even with kids.

  498. oftentimes when we think if if you're

  499. thinking about if the broken

  500. relationship you're thinking about that

  501. you want to see stronger is with your

  502. child or maybe with a uh a subordinate

  503. at work. You're a boss or something like

  504. even even if we look at the the the

  505. chain of command or whatever and you're

  506. a leader of this person leadership looks

  507. like serving.

  508. And so the more I can do that, the more

  509. I can actually serve someone,

  510. it applies in every single relationship.

  511. It applies in every single when no

  512. matter what you're trying to do and if

  513. you're trying to grow to get your

  514. relationship to thrive,

  515. serve them first. Okay. Number five is

  516. pray with and for each other.

  517. Pray with and for. Guys, this is if

  518. there's one secret to finding unity in a

  519. disunified relationship, this is it. I'm

  520. not kidding you. There is nothing that

  521. unifies

  522. people like prayer.

  523. Coming and bearing our soul before the

  524. Lord together

  525. is one of the most powerful things you

  526. can do.

  527. I encourage you guys to take time to

  528. pray with and for each other. Did you

  529. know that in marriages

  530. less if if if a marriage a husband and

  531. wife are praying together every single

  532. day,

  533. the divorce rate drops from 55%.

  534. To less than 1%.

  535. It's like 11 or,200 one and 11 or,200

  536. marriages that pray every single day

  537. together end up in divorce.

  538. Isn't that insane?

  539. It is absolutely crazy that what happens

  540. when we choose to unify our hearts and

  541. our minds and our spirits together, pray

  542. with and for each other. Matthew 18:1

    Matthew 18:1

  543. 19-20 says again, "Truly I tell you that

  544. if two of you agree on earth about

  545. anything they ask for, it'll be done by

  546. for them by my father in heaven. For

  547. where two or three gather in my name,

  548. there am I with them." No wonder prayer

  549. is so unifying.

  550. No wonder it's so powerful in our

  551. relationships.

  552. If they won't pray with you, you begin

  553. to pray for them. Keep in mind, we pray

  554. for them, not just about them. You

  555. understand what I'm saying, right? Lord,

  556. fix them. I can't believe where they're

  557. like, you got to change these things.

  558. No, no, no. I'm going to pray for them.

  559. I'm going to pray for their blessing.

  560. I'm going to pray for their heart. I'm

  561. going to learn to capture his heart for

  562. them. Pray with and for each other.

  563. Anytime

  564. I have a conflict relationship that I

  565. got to have a conversation with someone,

  566. I'll find I have to open it up and I

  567. have to close it in prayer.

  568. And sometimes

  569. I'll say, "Can we time out? Can we take

  570. a second here real quick?

  571. Can we pray into this? Can we just

  572. I I I feel we're like standing on the

  573. opposite sides of a chessboard and like

  574. we're trying to we're trying to beat

  575. each other and we we got to be on the

  576. same side and we got to fight this enemy

  577. together. And I want us to get back

  578. there. Can we take a second and pause

  579. and pray and recognize that the enemy is

  580. not each other. The enemy is the enemy.

  581. Prayer does that like nothing else.

  582. Okay,

  583. number six. Here we go. Celebrate more

  584. than you critique.

  585. Celebrate more than you critique. We see

  586. this happen again and again and again

  587. within scripture. In fact, Proverbs 18:1

    Proverbs 18:1

  588. says, "The tongue has the power of life

  589. and death.

  590. Those who love it will eat its fruit."

  591. If I use my words

  592. to give life again and again and again,

  593. I will find

  594. that the fruit of those words brings

  595. life back to me.

  596. But if I'm constantly in defense mode or

  597. if I'm in any any genuine authentic

  598. relationship is going to have conflict,

  599. is going to have disagreement, is going

  600. to have critique. We have to, it's

  601. actually so valuable and important to

  602. any relationship. But

  603. John Gottman, the relationships expert,

  604. has what's called the golden ratio. They

  605. did studies on all these marriages for

  606. for in relationships for years and years

  607. and years. And they found that in any

  608. healthy relationship, the number of

  609. positive interactions to the number of

  610. negative potential conflict interactions

  611. was five to one.

  612. If I'm not matching that,

  613. if I try to oneto one this thing, well,

  614. I said something nice and so now I can

  615. finally get to that critique. No, it's

  616. in fact in the middle of even in the

  617. middle of the critiques is like, "Oh, I

  618. I see what you're saying. I get your

  619. heart in that. I'm sorry that I did

  620. that. I was not trying to make you feel

  621. that way. I apologize." Things like

  622. that, right? Like, I'm inserting all of

  623. these positive affirmations inside of

  624. there.

  625. I got to celebrate more than I critique.

  626. If you find in your relationship that

  627. you want to improve,

  628. how well are you celebrating and being

  629. grateful for and giving positive

  630. interaction towards them?

  631. I I almost guarantee

  632. if your relationship is struggling, it's

  633. not meeting that 5 to1 ratio. Almost

  634. guarantee it. All right, next one. Here

  635. we go. This is a big one. This is going

  636. to hit some sore spots. Forgive as you

  637. have been forgiven.

  638. Now, keep in mind this is not as you've

  639. been forgiven by them.

  640. Forgive as you have been forgiven.

  641. Colossians 3:13

    Colossians 3:13

  642. says, "Bear with each other and forgive

  643. one another. If any of you has a

  644. grievance against someone, forgive as

  645. the Lord forgave you. Forgive

  646. as the Lord

  647. has forgiven you. There's not a single

  648. soul on this planet that you will have

  649. to forgive as much as God has had to

  650. forgive you.

  651. I promise you,

  652. if I attach this is why this is why I

  653. need him. This is why Jesus has to be at

  654. the center of every single one of these

  655. relationships. Because I cannot serve

  656. unless I see the servant. I cannot

  657. forgive unless I see the forgiver. I

  658. cannot I I cannot give a love that I do

  659. not have access to unless I'm connected

  660. to the vine first. I must be a servant

  661. first. I must forgive as I've been

  662. forgiven.

  663. And we must forgive quickly.

  664. forgive quickly. Matthew 6:12-13 in the

    Matthew 6:12–13

  665. Lord's Prayer, it says, "Forgive us our

  666. sins, our debts, as we have forgiven our

  667. debtors, and lead us not into

  668. temptation, but deliver us from the evil

  669. one."

  670. So what this means is that forgiveness

  671. forgive me of my sins right after this

  672. is lead me not into temptation which

  673. means forgiveness doesn't mean ignorance

  674. of someone's past

  675. because God knows our temptation

  676. God knows our weak areas do not lead me

  677. into that do not lead but deliver me

  678. from evil so in the same way I'm not

  679. ignorant of that. But I am going to be

  680. giving forgiveness

  681. at the same time that there may be some

  682. boundaries that may be necessary, but

  683. I'm called to forgive

  684. quickly.

  685. If you find your worship to the Lord is

  686. hindered,

  687. you're like, "Man, why can't I press in?

  688. Why is my prayer not alive? Why is why

  689. is the the songs not hitting right now?"

  690. A lot of times it's because I've got

  691. unforgiveness in my heart and I need to

  692. I need to work through that first. And

  693. then here we go. Second to last. Here we

  694. go. Look to honor God. This is so

  695. important. I want us to dive into this

  696. one. Look to honor God. There is not a

  697. single one of my relationships that's

  698. actually not purposed for the sake of

  699. honoring God and isn't calling me

  700. to learn more about what it's like to

  701. follow Jesus

  702. because of the relationship. Scripture

  703. reveals again and again that it is that

  704. to to to engage in a relationship is to

  705. learn more about him. because we were

  706. created relationally. We were created to

  707. be in relationship with him. And so he

  708. gives all these correlations like every

  709. relationship points to God. Here we go.

  710. Husband and wife. Ephesians 5 talks

  711. about how a husband and wife is like

  712. Christ in the church. And if I'm a

  713. husband, I learn more about him. I give

  714. honor to him by the way I love my wife

  715. in the same way that Jesus loved the

  716. church. as a wife, Morgan talked about

  717. it last week, that I learn to honor God

  718. by the way I submit and I follow what

  719. God is calling and leading my husband

  720. in, right? Like it is this it's I learn

  721. more about him. I do it for his glory. I

  722. do it for his honor, not my own. It

  723. reveals my relationship with my spouse

  724. reveals more to me about my relationship

  725. with God.

  726. for a parent and child.

  727. Do we not know that God calls himself

  728. our father

  729. and we are his children?

  730. So our relationship with our children

  731. and our relationship with our parents,

  732. when we start to see it in this light,

  733. we can go, okay, how can I learn to

  734. honor God and how can I learn to reflect

  735. my relationship with God in these

  736. relationships?

  737. Even as mothers, Isaiah 66:3 says, "As a

    Isaiah 66:3

  738. mother comforts her child, so I will

  739. comfort you." A motherly a motherly love

  740. is actually a godly character. When we

  741. think of God, we often think of male,

  742. but he made them male and female. We

  743. look at these characteristics of God

  744. that are in both. And this loving

  745. comforter is actually these motherly

  746. characteristics is actually originally

  747. ordained in God himself given.

  748. And so here we go. Let's keep going. For

  749. a parent and child, for friends. John 15

  750. says, "No longer do I call you servants,

  751. but I have called you friends." So our

  752. friendships actually can reflect our

  753. relationship with God. For a boss and

  754. employee, he is the master. We are the

  755. servants. for our lost friends. We are

  756. called to be the shepherd that seeks out

  757. the lost sheep, to be a light in the

  758. darkness, to be a physician to the sick,

  759. to be a harvester to those who are ready

  760. in the harvest. This is it. We are

  761. called, every single relationship calls

  762. us nearer to God.

  763. And if I have a if you have a

  764. relationship that you are in

  765. that is not drawing you nearer to him,

  766. you're doing it wrong.

  767. I got to say that again. If you have a

  768. relationship that you are in that is not

  769. drawing you nearer to him, you're doing

  770. it wrong. You either need to redefine

  771. that relationship and how you interact

  772. with it or cut it off.

  773. that this is I believe that for so many

  774. especially if you've just changed your

  775. life if you just committed your life to

  776. Jesus

  777. sometimes some of those friendships that

  778. are pulling you back into darkness again

  779. and again and again and the most godly

  780. thing you can do is cut it off

  781. and it doesn't feel great it doesn't

  782. feel nice and it may only be for a

  783. season but I promise you I promise you

  784. when you're able to step into that

  785. relationship as an influencer as opposed

  786. to the one being influenced

  787. It'll change everything. Everything.

  788. Then lastly,

  789. the last key

  790. is let love be the engine of all of it.

  791. Love has got to be this is this is the

  792. foundation. It starts with Christ. It is

  793. at the very beginning and it's all built

  794. on the foundation of love. If I try to

  795. do any of this without love, it's

  796. pointless. 1 Corinthians 13 talks about

  797. this. If I'm not giving selfless love,

  798. everything I'm doing is empty action and

  799. vain words. It's empty. It's nothing.

  800. It's hollow.

  801. Colossians 3:13 says, "Bear with each

    Colossians 3:13

  802. other and forgive." Remember, we just

  803. read this. And then they says, "Forgive

  804. as the Lord has forgiven you." Verse 14

  805. says, "And over all these virtues, put

  806. on love, which binds them all together

  807. in perfect unity."

  808. 1 Peter 4:8, above all, above all, most

    1 Peter 4:8

  809. importantly, above anything else, love

  810. each other deeply

  811. because love covers over a multitude of

  812. sins. If you want to see your

  813. relationship change, you got to see your

  814. love change. You got to see your love

  815. increase. And I want, as we can stand up

  816. here, what I want to do, I believe the

  817. health of our relationship with others

  818. reveals the health of health of our

  819. relationship with God. And I believe

  820. that there's some relationships with

  821. others that we got to restore in this

  822. room or at least restore our part.

  823. And what I want to do is I want to take

  824. a take a moment to commit that.

  825. Take a moment to go, God, I will play my

  826. part. I will do what I need to do. Maybe

  827. the other person is already in the room

  828. with you and you go, I want to make this

  829. thing stronger. How can we take these

  830. nine keys and begin to to apply them to

  831. our relationship?

  832. Maybe that's what you're calling. Maybe

  833. I believe that for some people in this

  834. room, the key relationship here is that

  835. I I'm missing the first one. I don't I

  836. don't have Christ in my life. If I don't

  837. have Christ in my relationship and I

  838. need to draw towards him

  839. and what I want to do is I want to take

  840. a second is if that's you that's

  841. specific specifically the second part

  842. every single one of us has a

  843. relationship that we need to strengthen

  844. but if you are specifically going man I

  845. need Jesus and I need to take time to

  846. really give this moment to him and I

  847. need to start there.

  848. If he's calling you into relationship

  849. with him for the first time ever, for

  850. the first time in a long time,

  851. and it's time to rededicate and give

  852. your life to him, would you put your

  853. hand up in the air real quick? I just

  854. want to see your hand up in the air.

  855. Come on. I see you. I see you.

  856. Here we go. Right back in the back. I

  857. see you. Thank you. Come on. You're not

  858. alone. There you go. Let's go. Right up

  859. here. Can we get a couple prayer I I

  860. want to just make sure that we get a

  861. couple people to pray with you around

  862. you. Here we go. Right up there, Rust.

  863. You see you're going. Perfect. Perfect.

  864. Let's go. Right over here. I just want

  865. to make sure that you're not alone. I

  866. just want to make sure that you got Keep

  867. your hand up if we missed you. We got to

  868. get We got to get right over here. Got

  869. to get in the back there. Perfect. What

  870. I want to do is I just want to make sure

  871. every single one of us has a

  872. relationship,

  873. an interpersonal relationship that we

  874. got to work on. But the mo it starts at

  875. the foundation of our relationship with

  876. Christ. So I want to pray into this

  877. first. Heavenly Father, I pray for every

  878. single person in here, but specifically

  879. those who raise their hand.

  880. Lord, we are ready

  881. to say yes to you before anything else.

  882. We cannot see our relationships in peace

  883. if we are not at peace with you. So

  884. Lord, the chaos, the sin that separates

  885. us

  886. and the shame that we've carried, we lay

  887. it all at your feet.

  888. And we ask, Father God, for a restored

  889. relationship with you in this moment,

  890. Lord, I pray for every single person

  891. that raised their hand that their life

  892. would never be the same. That this

  893. moment would transform them forever.

  894. That you would become the center of all

  895. things. You would become the center of

  896. every relationship.

  897. And that because of this, that they

  898. would begin to see thriving in every

  899. relationship. Father God, that we would

  900. see how we are directed and pointed to

  901. you through every relationship.

  902. We praise you, Father God. I pray over

  903. every relationship in this room. For

  904. those who raised their hand and for

  905. those who didn't. Lord, I pray over the

  906. marriages. I pray over the parents. I

  907. declare over the kids, God, I pray over

  908. the co-workers and the friendships.

  909. Lord, I want to see you glorified in all

  910. of it. I want to see you honored in all

  911. of it. Lord, I pray that we would live

  912. in such a way that transforms

  913. the lives of not only of ours, not only

  914. our relationships, but all those around

  915. us. And it injects your spirit into

  916. every workplace, into every

  917. neighborhood, into every household.

  918. Father God, may we live in relationship

  919. with others to the glory of your name.

  920. to we love like you love. We serve like

  921. you serve. We give like you've given. We

  922. choose generosity in the way that we

  923. have received

  924. grace beyond measure. Father God, I pray

  925. would you so fill us with your spirit?

  926. Would you fill our relationships with

  927. your spirit? May we look more like you

  928. today than we did yesterday. May our

  929. relationships look more like you

  930. tomorrow than they even do today. We

  931. pray this in the mighty name of Jesus.

  932. Amen.

  933. >> Hey, thanks so much for watching today's

  934. message. Our prayer is more than the

  935. words that were spoken in the message

  936. that you would remember the things that

  937. God spoke to your heart. No matter what

  938. it was that God spoke to you, I know

  939. that part of your journey is other

  940. people being in a community because we

  941. are better together. So if you made a

  942. decision to follow Jesus today, would

  943. you click the link below and fill out

  944. the form? This is going to help us so

  945. that we can celebrate with you and equip

  946. you with some tools so that your next

  947. steps are great steps.

  948. >> Yeah. Thanks so much for watching. We're

  949. praying for you. We're cheering you on.

  950. We believe that the best days are ahead

  951. of you.