Embracing Our Spiritual Journey Together: The Transformative Power of Christian Community and Connection

And at just the perfect and right time, he snatched you from the grip of hell, and he gave you eternal life.

But I love this. Jesus, he could have said,

I've done this thing that only God can do this impossible work, and he could have said,

let me take the napkin off your face, and let me cut you out of these grave clothes.

But he doesn't do that. Jesus does what only God can do, and he raises him to life.

Welcome to the City Light Church podcast. Thanks for joining us today,

as we look into God's word and discover the hope and truth that he has for us.

If you want to connect with City Light Church, feel free to visit us at citylightnyc.com,

that citylightnyc.com. Pastor Boyan Jansik and his team believe that the power of the Holy Spirit

is already working in our hearts and minds. As you listen to today's teaching,

remember that you are deeply loved by God, that you are surrounded by his grace,

and that he has a real hope and a future for you.

God is so good. I want to talk today about life groups. I know we looked at the video earlier,

it looked real good, the whole bunch of beautiful people in there.

See, only she gets that I was in the video, that's why I said that the people is beautiful,

praise God. But no, there's something super powerful about life groups, and if you don't know

what life groups are, let me show you from the scriptures what they are.

So let's go to Acts 2, verse 46 and 47. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple

Acts 2:46

and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart,

praising God and having favor with all the people and the Lord added to the church daily,

those who were being saved. This is life groups. They met in an official capacity in the temple

on the Sabbath, like what we're doing right now, we are in the church. I won't say in the temple

because you are the temple, amen? So they met in the church in an official capacity together,

but I love what it says at the end in verse 19. People were getting saved daily. Well, how could they

be getting saved daily if they only met in the temple on one day? It was what was happening every

other day as they met from house to house and they broke bread. See, this Christian thing that we

do this way of life, it's not meant to be relegated to this thing that you do just on Sunday.

It's meant to be your life, it's meant to encapsulate all that you are, all of your relationships,

it's meant to be a Monday through Sunday thing. So here on Sunday, you come in the pastor and the

preacher, they give you a word of encouragement and strengthen you and give you an exhortation to

point you in the right direction, but then you need to follow that up with actual practice.

So on a Sunday morning, you don't actually do the ministering, I do. Pastor Bo does, Pastor James does.

But in life groups, you get to practice those Christian principles, you get to lay hands on people,

you get to prophesy, you get to preach, you get prayer, you receive and give prayer.

How powerful is that? But the thing is we don't often take advantage of that because we have a lot of

Sunday Christians. Oh, he got heavy fast, what happened? No, I do believe that the Lord is calling us

out of that place of nominal Christianity where we checked our attendance card and said, I came

because this is what happens. We were at a point in our lives where we go to church on the high

holy days, Mother's Day, Easter, and Christmas. And then we graduate from there and we go, you know

what? I'm getting serious about God. I'm going to honor the King and I'm going to go every Sunday and

I'm going to check my attendance card and they're going to know I'm there because I'm going to lift my hand.

And the Lord is saying, I want more because and there is the reason why it's not just so that you

can say that you've done something. God actually wants to give you something as with all things.

Even as we were just collecting the offering just now, that's not really about you getting God

money, that's about him getting you money. Did you catch that? Because when you sow, then you reap

a harvest that, okay, they get it, they get it, they get it. So the reason we're talking about

life groups today is life groups are the lifeblood of our church. And I know it might seem like a

misnomer. I'm the community pastor so life groups are very much my heart. But we say it's the life

blood of our church and I'm not the only one that says that is because again, it's the connection,

it's where community happens. We have this thing called fellowship and sometimes people call the

services, well, I'm going to go fellowship some of the old time heads and Christianity call it that.

It's not really fellowship. When you come on a Sunday morning, the only thing that you're

fellowshiping with is the back of somebody's neck. And the real interaction that happens in

Christianity is not meant to be with the back of somebody's neck. Oh, nobody's going to say amen

to the obvious, okay. I love life groups because it teaches people to be great friends. Friends

that are like minded, friends that are reliable, friends that are able to carry each other in discipleship.

You know, life groups are where one another happens. You know, in the scriptures, the Bible says

59 separate times that we are to one another each other. You might say one another. What's that?

Well, the Bible says that we should love one another. The Bible says that we should pray for one another.

The Bible says that we should greet one another, that we should strengthen one another, that we

should bear with one another. The one anothering happens in the context of life group.

So if you haven't figured it out today, this is a big sermon inviting you to life groups.

I'm inviting you to community. I'm inviting you out of nominal Christianity into a place called

accountability. You know, C.S. Lewis once said this about friendship. It's a famous Christian

writer. He said friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another, what? You too?

I thought that no one but myself. So there's this dynamic where we get to connect with people and

grow and bear fruit. AKA, you can't get where you want to go by yourself.

People don't really like hearing that because there's a level of humility and dependence that is

necessary that we don't really like. Your friends should motivate and inspire you. Your circle should

be well-rounded and supportive. We need godly friendships in our lives. No one person can encompass

all that we need relationally though. How about this? Even your spouse for those of us privileged to

be married. Even your spouse can't connect all of the dots of what you need relationally.

Monica's like, you don't know my husband, boo. She in the second row like, my man is my best friend.

Amen. Amen. Amen. But I've learned that sometimes you need more than just romantic relationship.

You know why you need platonic, same gender friendship? Because there's not a threat of you doing to get.

All the married people immediately got what I was saying. I'm immediately got what I was saying.

See, the married folk understand that you know what? I'm going to keep this here relationship nice

and tight and good because yeah, well, pretty, pretty God, pretty God, pretty God.

Yeah. There's something about the platonic friendship that you need to be able to tell each other

the truth and garner things that you can't get from that romantic relationship. It actually

causes you to become a better person because if you didn't know, it's easy to call yourself

anything in isolation. I am amazing. And the minute I get around other people, they will go,

now you are. There's something about the accountability and the honesty of community that will bring out

the truth because again, it's easy to say whatever it is that you want to say in isolation with

nobody there to fact check you. AKA keyboard fingers on the internet. Somebody talk to me.

Oh yeah, not going to talk to me about it. All right. All you people in the chat, you better put a

fire emoji. Hope I'm not talking about you. If you look at it and again, this is a real thing. You need

a plethora of relationships in your life. And I know this because even when I look at God,

God in and of himself is relationship. Now, I don't know. Some of you have maybe heard this story

before, but our city kids program that we have downstairs, it is the bomb.com. It is children's

church for real. Like they don't sell a junior Holy Spirit down there. Like they are having church

the same way we're having church. They're learning about the word of God. Like sometimes the stuff

of my daughter hits me with, I'm like, I didn't teach you that. Well, you got that from. She's like,

you know, I'll be going to church on Sunday, right? I'm like,

but it's funny because I've heard this said to children before and it grinds my gears in such a

way where you'll have a little kid going, hey, why did God create humans? And then you'll get some

well-meaning Sunday school children's church teacher who will lie out the back of their mouth and

say something that was born in the pit of hell. Well, you know, God created humans because he didn't

want to be lonely. That's a lie. God has never been lonely. God is relationship. He is the father,

the son, and the Holy Spirit. Let me show you from the scripture so you know what I'm just talking.

First John 5.7 says, for there are three that bear record in heaven, the father, the word, and the

Holy Ghost. And these three are one. So again, there is no one person that can encompass all that we

need relation in. We have friends of the same gender to help us learn how to actually love

without motive or physical intimacy. We need to learn how to be actual friends to each other

when it comes to community and kingdom. Amen? Proverbs 18, 24 says, a man that has friends

must show himself friendly and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

We need to learn how to be willing to let other people star shine. You can't do that in isolation.

We need to be willing to be poured into as we pour out into others. There's a wonderful

given-taken friendship that displays God's love relationally. And one of the things I'm just

going to say flatly, you've gone as far as you can go by yourself. God is going to build you up

through your connections and not isolation. You have to be able to connect and flow with people to

take it to the next level. You have to trust people and not just any people. You have to trust the

right people with your vision. You have to get it out of your hands or it won't multiply.

We multiplied through connections. I'll give you a story. So I want to say it must have been

somewhere in 2012. We just, because we had our services on Friday nights in the East Village,

shout out to all my old schoolers who would come to A.

Shika. Our Friday services were fun. We call them happy hour because our church was located in

the East Village. And if you didn't know, the East Village is a very fun, weird place. Per capita,

it has the most bars per square foot than any other place on earth. So just imagine we were getting

quite a clientele of people coming in and getting saved and having their lives transformed on a weekly

basis. So I remember after one Friday night, Pastor Bowen and I were just conversing and we walked

to his car and we got in the car and it was close to Thanksgiving. And I remember I was sitting

in his car and I was weeping. And I remember he was trying to encourage me because

there was this thing that I couldn't break past. I was trying to get into my destiny and I didn't

know how. I knew I was called to lead and minister and preach and teach and serve and all of these

things but I had no opportunity. I was working full time at the YMCA Counseling Center.

And I remember just like just feeling so stuck because if you haven't known this feeling,

when you have a call of God on the inside of you, this is the the best thing that I can

akin it to. It felt like a tree was growing on the inside of me because if you look at a tree,

it's imperceptible. You can't really gauge it from one day to the next and go, you're bigger.

You can't do that but if you would put a tree right up against a piece of glass, eventually the

glass would have to give way and break because of the growth. Like we see this literally on the

streets where the roots of a tree can unearth concrete. So I felt like this thing was growing on

the inside of me but it hadn't broken through yet. So again, I'm talking with my pastor like,

hey man, how do I get to the next level? And it was funny because he was trying to encourage me.

He says, listen, when it comes to doing all that you can do, I can say with clarity and honesty,

you are doing everything that you're supposed to do. I know you, you are praying, you are fasting,

you are serving, you are looking for every opportunity to pour yourself out for the sake of

Jesus. So I don't know, brah. So again, I'm just crying because I'm just like, God, I just want

your will. And then he said something to me that was powerful. He goes, when you've done everything

that you know to do in order to reach your destiny but still feel stagnant, it could be that there

are destiny partners connected to your destiny. Because nobody really wants to hear that.

When you want to just go where you want to go, you want to go by yourself. And in essence,

what he was telling me is there are some people in your life that you haven't connected with yet

that might be the key that opens the prison door. Oh, yeah, didn't hear me. Sometimes you are the

key that opens somebody else's prison door. So I'm like, man, God, what does that mean? And he says,

listen, it doesn't have to be that it's a romantic relationship. It could just be a relationship.

Maybe there's somebody in your life that Lord wants to put you together and both of you will get

together and start an amazing business that will change the world. We don't know. Well, maybe it could

be romantic. Hey, now. Listen, shortly thereafter, I met my wife. She started out as a friend

that I got to know at life group, plug. I got to know her at life group and she became my

girlfriend at life group and from there she became my wife. No, you can clap a little bit better

for my wife. Tiffany is at home and she's actually driving here right now. She is pregnant with

our third child. She is due March 12. So AKA, she is ready to go. She will be here shortly to

receive all of your praises. But it's funny that I needed to connect with my wife and it set me

on such a trajectory because I was working at that job and I get married to my wife and six months

into my marriage, I get laid off. I had never been without a job since the age of 14, then I find myself

all of a sudden without work. At the most important time when I need work to be a provider and a

husband, it was all like, oh my God, Jesus. But it's so funny that the trajectory of what happened

through connecting with her, I watched as the Lord connected me with my wife that I ended up in my

dream job and both of our lives just exponentially kept growing from there forward.

You cannot get where you want to get by yourself because you my friend are a member of the body

of Christ. I don't know about you but my pinky does not get up and walk away and do it

so thing without me. When my pinky wants ice cream, we want ice cream. It don't be me y'all, it'd be

the pinky. I still didn't hear no amen to that but all right. Matthew 18, 19 and 20 says this,

again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask,

it will be done for them by my father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in

my name, I am there in the midst of them. I'll give you another one for free. Leviticus 268 says,

five of you shall chase a hundred and a hundred of you shall put 10,000 to flight.

Man, that is some crazy kingdom exponential math that doesn't make sense. But I love it

and it just reaffirms further the point that I'm making that God means for you to get where you're

going by getting with his people. So if we can establish that, life groups are the way,

communities the way getting with the people is the way, we have to ask the 10 million dollar question

and just to be clear, even if you call out the answer, I will not give you 10 million dollars.

Some people from the first service just wait and like.

So the 10 million dollar question is this, if we know that there is so much power

in accountability and community and one another, why don't we do it?

Why is it that when life groups semester opens up as it opened up last week that every group

has to be labeled full for this week because it is at capacity and cannot take anymore.

You want to know why? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you because it's actually the title of

discernment. The answer is that help sometimes hurts.

See, I was trying to be nice. I was giving the media team a chance to bow, throw it on there,

like the discernment title, but technically I guess we don't need it.

Help, sometimes.

They feel me, help. Help sometimes hurts.

You want to know how I know that this is true?

It's February. Where are all my athletic gym goers at?

Oh, don't you know, hey, all you crossfit people now, you've been showing off that body.

Don't get shy now. Raise your hand brother. All right.

Now here's the thing. It's mid-February, right?

A lot of the New Year's resolutions are starting to taper off.

We had some people start and they were on fire.

I'm going to go. I'm going to bear this fruit. I'm going to go.

Everybody working out because they want to be a snack.

Talk them out.

But you know why? You only get a few people who last off, like my brother in the second row,

come here, just come here brother. Yeah, yeah, come on.

See, Oost is a former professional bodybuilder.

You can't see it under here. He married, so just keep yourselves.

Keep yourselves and I'm just giving you the warning.

But he lives a lifestyle of exercise and working out. He's a trainer.

Matter of fact, I'm just putting your face out. This would be people to come as you are.

Nervous? No, you're good.

But

you got more blood than me, bro.

Give the praise to Jesus people.

So the reason that I pointed him out is because he lives a lifestyle of that.

It's not based on resolution where every January he's going to get hyped for maybe

six weeks and then taper off. You want to know why most people are not like him

because help sometimes hurts. See, the resistance that we get when we go to the gym,

we know the benefits. We know that we end up looking like a snack tasty.

We know that, but what's in between that point and the starting point is hurt.

It's resistance is work and we don't like that.

We like cookies. Let the church say amen.

But I've learned that in order to take that step to get to it, you have to make yourself a

little bit uncomfortable and do what you've never done to get the results that you've never had.

Help sometimes hurts.

The only way for you to reach purpose is through community. It is impossible to do it by yourself

and any person who is doing it by themselves is using sources that God did not approve.

If you're doing it by yourself, you're using illegal methods, whether that's being a workaholic,

whether that's using substances. If you're using anything but the body of Christ to get the growth

that you need, you are out of bounds, sir. You are out of bounds, ma'am.

Are you abusing people and things?

Oh, you know, by going to say amen, it's all right.

It hurts and we don't like to do it because it involves conversations that hurt.

Because we're talking about community. We're talking about people getting together

like-minded people who know God and will help you and give you protection.

You know, the Bible says that there is safety in a multitude of counselors.

So why is it that we often find that when we go through circumstances, we isolate ourselves

because we don't want nobody saying nothing to us?

If you've ever been in a relationship that had a bunch of red flags and you didn't want any

of your friends saying anything to you, how much were you and your friends talking at that

particular time? No?

Because we instinctively, and we know, we know when man,

I think that this is wrong, but there's nobody here to tell me so I'm just going to keep going.

We know that if we get around the right people who love us, they will go, hey, can we talk?

But we avoid those types of hurts. We avoid those type of conversations despite the fact that they help.

And I'm inviting you to a place where you welcome the hurt because it will help.

Another reason that we don't endeavour to take the help that hurts is because the devil is giving us anesthesia.

He's giving us this thing that numbs the hurt.

Hey, it takes some sugar water. You don't need to deal with these people.

And instead of actually endeavouring to go to that place where we can speak the truth and love and

be real with each other, the enemy says, take a dose of this. Because it hurts to lie,

but you won't face the consequences of community and accountability because the enemy has you

in this place where you know how to play the game. Because you want God, but you don't technically

want the method that he uses to bring growth, which is the people. So you've mastered the art of

coming late and leaving early. Oh, you're not talking to nobody yet. How about this?

I know some of y'all. This is you on a Sunday morning.

You at 44th and Broadway and you like this. It almost looks like you're playing double dutch.

I go right. I got a time at right. I got a time at right. Because I don't want to get caught.

If Deakin Mauricio catches me at the door, I know he's going to pray for me. So we got to avoid that.

Okay. Oh, the ushers look like they smiling today. All right.

Let me give it to you. Let me get this. No, no, that's the first song. I can hear it. That's that.

One, two, three, go.

He says, hey, they rush in and they immediately get into a posture of deep worship. Because you know,

when somebody's deep worship, you don't want to say hello. You just, oh, look, get it, girl.

Hey, yes, God.

You don't want to mess with that. So people have mastered the art. They look around. They look around.

All right. I'm going to come in quick. I'm going to come in quick.

Oh, God. He's coming close. Yes, God. Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

And we've mastered the art because then

Pastor Bo calls off the worship team and you're like, oh, oh, I got to evolve. I got to evolve.

I was hearing the word of God and they about to know the ministry team is about to be called up.

I still got to give my all-frame. Wait, there's a box at the door.

And then you run and somebody, hey, where are you going?

No, I'm just going to the bathroom. I'm just going to the bathroom.

You might say, Pastor, no, where are you going?

I'm trying to get you to understand that hurt sometimes helps and you don't have to avoid the

conversations and the people. You just keep saying that you want God and you don't want the people

because of the things that you've experienced from other people in your life. But God is trying to

tell you I'm only going to grow you through the same people that you're avoiding.

So we have to welcome the accountability that comes with community

because he's not using another method. He's proven his method, his method is his church.

Imperfect as we are and I do get that part.

It's easy to interact with God when God is perfect.

But you're telling me that I have to, I've got to be vulnerable with these jokes.

Don't worry, one thing a point at you for me.

But yeah, he's saying this is my method.

I want to use imperfect people to make each other perfect through my grace and my spirit.

Did you know that something as small as a splinter if unchecked can lead to gangrene?

You could literally lose your leg off of a piece of toothpick.

It wasn't sharp enough to cut your leg off. It initially wasn't painful enough to cause

your leg to be cut off. But because it was untreated and unaddressed for too long,

it grew into something that was beyond your control and the only way to save what is left

is to cut off that which has been infected.

And God is saying, I got these things called tweezers, that is the people of God

that'll get in your business.

See, that's the thing. People are acting like as if I'm talking about this from a lofty

saying, no, no, I'm talking about the practical. People getting in your business,

people loving on you, people asking you difficult questions like, how are you?

In today's culture, we don't like that.

Because a lot of people mean for hello and how are you to be breeze by questions?

Hey, how you doing? How you doing?

No, no, I asked you first. When I ask people, I mean it. How are you?

Sometimes people ask me how I'm doing and I literally stop and I go,

and then I begin to tell them and much to their shock, they're like, oh, you're actually sharing.

And then I tell them, I thought you asked me how I was doing. So I was venturing to be vulnerable

enough to tell you where I was so that maybe you would pray with me and then maybe I could

pray with you and maybe we would do this thing called life together, novel concept in the house

of God where we're all supposed to be a family. Oh, church, if you can see the faces that are coming

back to me today, I'm not scary, although. Six, one, three hundred pounds, God gave me grace,

but he also gave me physique too. Plus I got goose, don't don't forget, I called him up for a reason.

Hallelujah. So we got to talk about things to stay healthy, amen?

We got to endeavor to allow God in to be the help that we can only get from his people.

Ephesians 4, 15 and 16 says, but speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into him

who is the head Christ from whom the whole body joined and knit together, but what every joint

supplies according to the effective working by which every part does its share could cause

his growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love. It's a very long-winded theological way

of saying, talk to each other and I'll use you to help each other.

So again, the enemy stops you from being in places that have the good conversations that hurt

oh so good. My analogy of people running in and out of the church, that's what that is.

It's the enemy giving you the anesthesia that says you don't need to be hurt, you don't need to feel,

you need to feel. I do understand what church hurt is. I do understand that people in your life

have abused your vulnerability but that is not a reason to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

Unfortunately you still have to deal with God's people because that is the method that he

designed to bring breakthrough and deliverance to you. If there was another way, I would give it to

you. But there is no lofty monastic lifestyle where you go into a mountain by yourself and reach

seven levels of nirvana and meet Jesus. Because every time you go to that mountain by about week three,

Jesus is going to be like, so how long you plan on staying, bro?

I'm just wondering when are you going to go out and do something with what I've given you?

We have to get honest. I think there's also this other side of it where we want these weird quick

fixes. So we spoke about the person who comes late leaves early but then there's also another person

who comes to the front for ministry time and this is what it looks like. Fix me.

Are you done? And that's not how this works either because I need you to understand there's no

laying on of the hands and pouring of the anointing oil that's going to remove the pride in your life.

It's not going to seep in and by the time you get home, the pride has dried up.

No, what's going to happen is the accountability of walking with each other day by day so that when

you are acting prideful, I check you and go, hey, don't be like that. That's not godly. And it's not

like I'm standing above you because you can check me too and go, you know, you said the right thing

but you could have said it a little bit better. Oh, my bad. We're learning.

That's how relationship works. That's how true friendship works where you take a piece of truth

and you insert it into the relationship along with love so that you can get where you both need to go.

Oh, man, let me just read this thing. The absence of honesty will produce an abundance of pain,

not just hurt. For the church to legitimately help you and the many issues that we all have,

it's not just going to be through the laying on of hands. It's going to be and I'm going to say

this and for certain church people with a history in church is going to sound like a cuss word.

I didn't say curse. I said cuss is a cuss word. All you down south people know what I'm talking

about. Down south people say somebody will tell you something real sweet and go bless your heart.

That's a cuss. There wasn't being nice. You thought it was nice because you're not from down there.

It was cussing you out. So we're talking about a cuss word right now and really the Bible says

that we should be not just hearers of the word and is the cuss word but doers. Doers.

But we are grace church. It's not about do-do-do because if you do-do, your life will be do-do. Yes, I understand.

Grace through faith. Amen. We receive our salvation with no input from us at all other than to believe

and declare that Jesus Christ is Lord. But how many of you know the Bible says that you should work out

your own salvation with trembling and fear. So there is still a part and hear me when I'm saying

that there's a part for you to play but it's not like salvation is contingent upon your part.

The baby didn't like that part. She didn't like that part. But there is this place where

you have to walk this thing out that he's giving you. Where you have to do more than just come to

the front and wait for the fix me to come. How about you've got to open your mouth and acknowledge

like, you know what? I'm an angry person. And when I'm angry, nobody can say nothing to me.

And when people back me into a corner, I start to lie. And I'm really good that when I start

lying, I start manipulating people like, yeah, you got to open up because the delivery that you're

looking for is not going to come until you actually come clean to God and by proxy his people.

That's not for everybody. You don't just be calling everybody up like, you know, I'd be cheating on

my taxes all the time. I don't need to know that between you and the IRS, bro. But the people

in relationship with you, the true friends, the deep one on ones, and you let them know like,

yo, I have been cheating on my taxes and if they catch me, I'm going to jail.

So, the thems is the people where you like, I'll make sure your kids are safe.

Because I'm not going to jail for you if that's what you mean, right?

How about this? Just so that you can get so that you won't be discouraging hearing this message.

The negative things that the enemy has placed in your life and that have grown and

festered into ugly behavior. The opposite side of that is the goal that God actually put their first.

So, if you're a really good liar, God gave you the gift of storytelling but it's been

perverted by sin in the world. When you're really good at manipulating people and getting

your own way callously, it's because you're actually a leader that God wants to motivate people

towards things. Think about it. You have the ability to coerce people into a direction,

but you've selfishly been using it for your own means. When really God means for you to

maneuver and guide and exhort people and push them in the right direction, leading them towards

that which is holy, righteous and true. There's gold on the inside of you and God's people are

meant to bring that thing to the surface, but they can't if you don't give them the opportunity

to actually see what's under the hood. He's spitting bars this Sunday morning.

So, again, I need you to hear the word and not be offended and actually become doers of the word.

Hallelujah. So, everything that you used to destroy people originally was a gift from God to

free them. You are the key that opens the prison door to other people's selves.

It's funny because I feel like for many of us in the room, if we change just one thing about

ourselves, we'd be great. She believes it too. Don't even worry about it. It's like it's that one

thing like nobody wants to work with you. Can't nobody say nothing to you. Yeah, that's true.

You've got to acknowledge these things. You've got to open up and be honest and allow God into

God. Like, have you ever repented without actually repenting? Listen, I have a wife,

so I know what it is to apologize without saying nothing.

I used to be the world's worst apologizer. I would go to my wife and be like, yeah, I'm so sorry

you feel like that. But I would literally just watch my wife just like,

it's like, so you're not going to take accountability for none of it? Well, I mean, these are your feelings.

I learned. I learned. I'm a good husband. I swear, I learned.

But there is this place where you have to acknowledge yourself before his people and before him.

Ask him to do the work in you. And the only hilarious part for me is every time I have asked God

to make me better, he's put me in a situation where I've had to rely on other people to do it.

I said, God, I need you to help me in my finances. He sent me people with that new stuff about

finance. I was like, God, I was hoping for like a download. I didn't, I didn't want to have to sit

and make a budget with this person. See, that's how it looks in the practical. You ask God for

something. God goes, oh, I know somebody that can help you with that. Here's a connection.

But we want the, the straight, just mean you, God, when God is like, the vertical is fine. It's

the horizontal I'm trying to get you to. It's a cross, by the way. All right, so there are five

different relationships that you are going to find in life group that is going to bless, strengthen,

and edify you. And yes, this entire message is a plug that you would sign up for life groups,

gain community. Oh, you didn't realize that. Like, this is the plug. This is the lore that you

would take that paper that was on your chair, fill it out for life group seven. I mean, life groups,

life group seven discipleship one on one with Pastor Moe. Wednesdays is 645. I'm just saying.

Praise God. Let's do out there to plug it. All right, just enough, just enough.

All right, worship team, you can come up because I'm going to end with these five different

relationships that you are clearly going to find that are going to bless you and help you.

Yes, it might hurt a little bit because help sometimes hurts, but it is going to be so good

for you. Amen? Okay, first one. This is the Nathan relationship. Nathan to David was a

corrector. Specifically, you can find their story in second Samuel 12. I won't read through the

whole thing now, but when Nathan killed somebody to hide the fact that he had committed adultery with

somebody's wife, remember, as a king in the Old Testament, he had the ability to have anyone killed

on command, including the prophet. But he had given Nathan the authority to speak into his life

because he submitted to the hierarchy of God. Oh, you're not hearing me. Okay, how about this?

You know, when you come to aid church and doesn't have to be city light, when you come to aid church,

if you don't submit to the hierarchy of the kingdom and the system that God has put in place,

the person who leads that church, Pastor Boe doesn't become your pastor. He becomes your preacher.

When you really want him to be your pastor, you will submit to the authority that God has given

him over you. Oh, way to amen's that church. Just because he in Guatemala don't change nothing.

So you have to give authority to people to speak into your life, amen? Okay, number two,

Jethro is the Guider. Jethro is the white-haired mentor in your life.

They realign you by giving you good counsel. Very quickly, we're going to read through Exodus 18,

Exodus 18:13

verses 13 and 19. And so it was on the next day that Moses sat to judge the people and the people

stood before Moses from morning until evening. So when Moses's father-in-law saw all that he did for

the people, he said, what is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit and

all the people stand before you from morning until evening? And Moses said to his father-in-law,

because the people come to me to inquire of God, when they have a difficulty, they come to me and I

judge between one and another and I make known the statutes of God in his laws. So Moses's father-in-law

said to him, the thing that you do is not good. Both you and these people who are with you will surely

wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you. You are not able to perform it by yourself.

Listen now to my voice. I will give you counsel and God will be with you. Stand before God for the

people so that you may bring the difficulties to God. And basically, he gives him a system of

delegation and says that there are different leaders that you're going to position underneath you.

So a white-haired mentor will realign you with good counsel. Because remember, the best experience

that you can learn from is the experience that is not your own. I don't want to fall into the pit,

get bloodied and bruised to then tell you about it. I want to go to the person who fell into the pit

and they can tell me how not to. Funny story. I was doing pre-marital counseling with this couple.

And I asked them, I said, you know, where are the white-haired mentors in your life that, you know,

have experienced these things that can talk to you guys. And the person looks perplexed.

I was like, what do you mean? It's you. I said, the devil is alive.

I had to go home and reflect and look in the mirror and I was like, oh my, I have become that which,

oh, whoa, I wasn't ready for that. It came too fast. It came too fast. But if there was every day

where I was tempted to get the just for men, that was the day. But he was like, you know, you are

my white-haired mentor. And I was just like, wow, I'm like one year older than you know.

The second one is Barnabas. You need a Barnabas-type situation in your life. So Barnabas is an

encourager. Did you know that Barnabas is name. You can find him in the book of Acts. His name is

not actually Barnabas. His name is Joseph. The Apostles renamed him Barnabas, which is encourager

because of the grace and the gift thing that was on his life. And some of you might be thinking to

yourself, who is Barnabas? Where have I heard that name before? Well, here's the thing. Have you ever

heard of the Apostle Paul? Let me be clear. Without Barnabas, there is no Apostle Paul because

Apostle Paul's ministry had zero followers on Facebook. Paul was a terrorist by the name of Saul.

And when he got saved, he thought it was all nice. And he tried to come to the cook out and they

said, we're leaving. He sat down and everybody got up. Until this man, this encourager took him

aside and said, you walk with me. And Barnabas introduced him to the entire community. He went on

mission trips with him and eventually Saul became Paul. Wrote over one third of the New Testament

that we call our Bible today. Do you have people in your life that will give you an encouragement behind

the scenes? So first service, I made a very apt joke. I said, you know, pastors are very unique

individuals because not only do they have to face their own things, but they need to face the

things that you're facing. Because the devil very much is against you. But the scripture is very

clear that if you strike the shepherd, the flock will scatter. So sometimes some of the things

that you're going through, it actually hits leadership as well as you because the thought is if I

can knock off the leadership that gives them the encouragement to keep going forward, then they'll

have nothing to do and then they'll just fall aside themselves. But little did he know that at

city like we're raising up a team of ministers and powerful Christians that know the Lord for

themselves. Praise the Lord. But it had me thinking about Pastor Bo and the rest of the leadership team

because his wife Emily was sitting here and I was like, first lady. She left though, so it doesn't

really work anymore. But the thing is, I imagine that when he's going through all the stuff that he's

going through, it's the silent encouragement. And I know this to be true because my wife ministers

to you guys more than you know because she ministers to me. So when I'm able to stand and give you

encouragement and give you wisdom and help you to see the right way, just know that I've received

encouragement that you don't know about. She has been a Barnabas to me. Shout out Bo, I see you.

So there's something about being the Barnabas. You get that at life through. Think about this.

Everybody always wants to stand on the stage with the mic and do the thing. How about when you get

to heaven, people are going to come up to you and go, thank you so much. And you're going to be like,

for what? And then they'll tell you about all the different people that grew to be amazing and

God and did so many things. And they got that way because you encourage them with a word of wisdom

with a word of life. Amen. Come on. I'm going to get you guys out of here because I know the Superbowl

parties are waiting. All right, next one, Timothy. You need a protege. You need somebody to pour

into. Philippians 2.19 and 22 says, but I trust in the Lord to send Timothy to you shortly,

that I also may be encouraged when I know your state, where I have no one like-minded who will

sincerely care for your state, for all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus,

but you know his proven character that has a son with his father. He served with me in the gospel.

I'll also give you Luke 638. Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, press down,

shake it together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that

you use, it will be measured back to you. What does all of that mean? It means that you can't be the

Dead Sea. What? The Dead Sea? Well, here's the thing. What makes the Dead Sea different from a river?

The Dead Sea does not support life and agriculture because it only has an inlet and it doesn't have an

outlet. So it's getting all of this ocean water in and all of the salt levels and the salinity levels

are extremely high that you could just go in and just lay down and float without anything.

But it's dead and it doesn't support life because there's no outlet. A river is different because

it takes things in and then it pushes things out and there's movement. So in the same way,

you need a protege and you might think to yourself, well, I'm not the great minister. I can't do

here's the thing. You are better today than you were yesterday and there are some people that are

where you were yesterday and you can help them with your experience because you survived.

You don't have to be a teacher. You just have to have survived.

So you need someone to pour into even if somebody's pouring into you. Don't just be a selfish

Venus flytrap Christian. No, you need to get fed and then you need to feed. You need to water. You

need to plant and bless other people. Amen. All right. This is the last one. You need a Jonathan.

You need a Jonathan. You need a true friend. And admittedly, you're not going to have many of

these. You're going to have many friends but a true friend is different. How can I put it?

I feel like have you ever tried to save a cat out of danger?

Especially a cat that you didn't know. God bless you. Home of microphone, man.

I feel like in trying to save a cat that you don't know, it looks a little bit something like this.

So you get scars, you get scrapes, you get all these things because despite the fact that you're

trying to help it, it has a way about it. And you know what's crazy? Your true friends will treat

you just like you treated the cat. You will keep it at arm's length because you know that it will hurt

you. But you won't let go. Come on somebody. You have any true friends in your life that won't let

go of you despite how messed up you are? They've seen you hurt people. They've seen you disrespect

and curse folk out and they're like, man, I got to keep you at a distance but I ain't going to let you

go. I love you. I just got to move you somewhere safe. You need to come on down to life,

group's brother. Oh, praise God. I'll give you one. I'll give you this one for free. We'll close with

this. You know I come from Pentecostal Ruiz. This is my sixth closing. So for my final closing,

I want to read you one scripture. This is from John 11 verses 43 to 44. And before we read, I'll

John 11:43–44

give you the context. So Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha has died. He dies and Jesus does not

go once he hears that he is sick. He remains where he is for two more days. And then he goes to see him

by this point. Lazarus is dead or than a doorknob. But Jesus goes to do what only God can do. Now this

is where we pick up. Now when he had said these things, he cried with respect. Is that what it says?

No, no, no, no. He cried with a loud voice. Lazarus! Come forth. Now it's only funny though because

he doesn't whisper it. He says it loud because despite the fact that he's at the tomb,

he's not speaking to the tomb because Lazarus' body is in the tomb, but Lazarus is somewhere else.

I'm just giving some free theological lessons right now. Lazarus is in sheol. He's in another

place. So Jesus has to speak to where he is, not to where he is. Am I blessing you yet? Okay. So

and then notice that he has to say Lazarus because he doesn't just say come forth because if he did,

it would be a zombie apocalypse on earth. And he didn't want that. So so he says Lazarus come forth

but that's not even the part that we talk about right now. Check this out. And when he who had died

came out bound hand in foot with grave clothes and his face was wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to

them, lose him and let him go. Life groups. Life groups. What you mean? Life groups. That's life groups.

Because the same thing that happened to Lazarus happened to you. You were dead and there was no

way to redeem you, no way to deliver you. And God came through in his mercy and in his love and at

just the perfect and right time, he snatched you from the grip of hell and he gave you eternal life.

But I love this. Jesus, he could have said, I've done this thing that only God can do this impossible

work. And he could have said, let me take the napkin off your face and let me cut you out of these

grave clothes. But he doesn't do that. Jesus does what only God can do and he raises him to life.

And he moves to the side. And he says, lose him. He says, you, you believers that are around him,

you set him free. He says, because can you catch this? He delegates and puts it into the hands of

the believers to bring him the freedom. Come on, church. That's life groups.

Help sometimes hurts, but it gets you free. Jesus is not going to do all of the work when he has

his body on earth. You have to utilize his body. Amen. This is the City Light Church podcast.

If you've missed any part of today's message or if you would like to find out more about pastor

Boyan Jansik in City Light Church, visit us at citylightnyc.com. That's citylightnyc.com.

Feel free to visit us online or in person anytime. We would love to connect with you.

We pray that you have been encouraged today. That you have been reminded how much God loves you

and that you are surrounded by grace. Thank you for listening. Make sure that you subscribe to

City Light Church podcast wherever you find your favorite podcasts worldwide.