Navigating Faith and Dreams: Perseverance, Preparation, and God's Love

God has put a dream in your heart, God has put a vision in your heart, but it will be tested,

your desire will be tested, your pursuit will be tested, and your want to will be tested.

Satan is not like a demonic doorman that is going to open up the door for you and say,

write this way, Madam, write this way, sir, to the abundant life, to the blessed life.

You're actually going to have to get your pursuit on, amen?

Welcome to the City Light Church podcast. Thanks for joining us today,

as we look into God's word and discover the hope and truth that he has for us.

If you want to connect with City Light Church, feel free to visit us at citylightnyc.com,

that citylightnyc.com. Pastor Boyan Jansik and his team believe that the power of the Holy Spirit

is already working in our hearts and minds. As you listen to today's teaching,

remember that you are deeply loved by God, that you are surrounded by his grace,

and that he has a real hope and a future for you.

Let's begin in John chapter 5, starting in verse 1.

John 5 · chapter mention

This is Jesus at the pool of Bethesda.

It was only after I became a Christian in 1992 when I rollerbladed.

People forget that. At one point in New York City was along the avenues. It was just a sea of rollerbladers.

That was one of them. It's hard to picture that now. It's crazy that my parents let me out of the

house back then. Sixteen years old on rollerblades are just going up and down like eighth avenue,

fighting the cyclist, fighting the yellow cabs. It wasn't the nice Manhattan up today where all

the lines were painted and you had the bicycle lane. You just had to basically, you know, between cars

and you better believe in Jesus if you were going to survive in Manhattan back then.

But I showed up in Central Park and realized, oh, there's that thing. Oh, that's from the Bible.

Bethesda found, I'm getting the connection now. It's from John chapter 5.

John 5 · chapter mention

It says, after this, there was a feast of the Jews and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.

Now, there is a Jerusalem by the Sheepgate of Poole which is called in Hebrew Bethesda having five

porches. In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the

moving of the water. For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the

water, then whoever stepped in first after the stirring of the water was made well of whatever

disease he had. Now, a certain man was there who had an infirmity 38 years. That's a long time.

When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been in that condition a long time,

you would think that it would say Jesus saw him and found that he was only there for a day

that he would say what he said to him. Do you want to be made well?

But it was actually because Jesus saw him there and knew that he was already sick a long time.

That Jesus asks him a perplexing question. It almost seems like a rhetorical question,

but it's not. He asks a sick man who's been sick 38 years, do you want to be made well?

It's almost like you can add, do you really? Do you really want to be made well?

Because you're laying here, it's been 38 years and you're not really doing much it seems to make

it happen. If we keep on reading, the man says, I have no man. In other words, his eyes are on

man, human. And he says, I don't have anybody to bring me into the fountain.

And Jesus is really provoking him and testing his desire and testing his want to.

Because if your desire is big enough, listen, the evidence of desire is in pursuit.

And when your desire is big enough and large enough, you find a way. You make a way.

You know I preach grace. I'm a big grace preacher. When it comes to our salvation,

the work is done. And when it comes to our salvation, we get to rest.

But when it comes to the dreams that God has put in our hearts, it's a tension between

yes, resting in the promise, but also cooperating with what the Lord has said. Because Christians

are really, really good at waiting. They're professional waiters. What are you doing? I'm waiting

on the Lord. And then some preacher comes and begins to talk about, you know Abraham,

waited a really long time. That's me. I may have. And then, you know, David waited. Moses was 40

years, just twiddling his thumbs and it does are all good. I didn't waste the last 40 years. I'm

I'm such a good waiter. And let's not identify so much with the waiting part and identify more with

the receiving part. Amen. And you stand. There's a baking process. I've gone through it. I'm sure I'll

go through it again. There's always a waiting period. But I don't have to have faith to wait. I

want to have faith to receive. Amen. The prophetic word isn't given so you can wait for it. It's given

so you can cooperate with it. Hallelujah. And there will always, when God gives you a dream, when

God gives you a vision, when God begins to stir up a desire in your heart, there will always be a

test of how big is your want to? Do you really want this? For this man here by the pool of Bethesda,

it didn't seem like the want to was that great because he could have gotten addicted to

the social surroundings. I mean, it became a hangout place where everybody with the same problems

would hang out. He could have gotten just used to the dream that had died and talking with others

as they wallowed in each other's mediocrity. And Jesus comes provoking him. How big is your want to?

I remember my first year of Bible school. The Lord was already talking to me years before that

that I needed to be good at winning souls, that if I was going to enter the ministry and be a pastor,

the very basics, the very fundamentals are being able to articulate the gospel to lead a person

that's far from Jesus through the gospel and to Jesus. Amen. And to do that with anybody,

I felt like he was raising me up to be unafraid to speak to anything with a heartbeat that moves.

And so I did that in high school. I did that at college, but then I felt like the Lord was saying,

okay, not just your friends, strangers even, and then I entered into Bible school and they had

this outreach that happened every Friday night down in Tampa, Florida. It happened in Ebor City,

which you know how like New York City is like all bad and good? Tampa is weird in that.

There's a lot of suburbs and just a lot of normal places and it's like the concentration of evil

is on the six, six or seven blocks. There's two people who know Tampa, right? It's this concentrated

area of evil. Ebor City, right? Some people will call it evil city, which of course being a Christian

organization, they don't believe that you can witness somebody Wednesday in the afternoon

or Tuesday morning, but it's like, you know, Christians, we're funny that way. We're like, you know

what? Let's find the sinners that have been waiting all week to sin and that was Friday night and

they're going to Ebor City and all they really want to do is get high and get drunk and party.

Let's witness to them then. I really, I prefer to meet my sinners Saturday morning like when the

hangover is still fresh and they're hungry and they're going, they got all the regret on them,

not when they have the thirst for sin in their eyes, but you know, we're Christians, right? So we

have the bright idea. We hear one or two testimonies of how somebody was on their way into a bar and

a preacher came up to them, someone minister to them and they fell to their knees. What must I do

to be saved? And we think that's the norm. Those are great. We always celebrate these outlandish

testimonies. Do I believe God can do that? Yes. Do I believe He's done that? Yes. But also,

there is a norm. That's just me like doing group therapy with you guys. That has nothing to do with

anything. I'm just saying how awkward it was. So I didn't want to do it, but I felt that's,

I needed to do it if I was going to fulfill the call of God on my life. And so we would go down

there and we would hold up signs that said free prayer or we would go up to people and just present

a gospel to them. I mean, I got kicked in the shins. I got elbowed. One time I got back, I mean,

like here I am listing these persecutions, right? Paul was whipped and I'm like, did you know?

It's true story. I took off my fleece and there was this big water gum that somebody put

in my fleece. I can't believe it. The sufferings of Christ. Some of them looked at me scornfully.

It was terrible. But you know, I'm 24 years old. No, I'm not. I'm 22 years old at the time.

This was 98. Don't do the math. I'm 48.

And I kept going every Friday because after I would come back, I would be so full of joy and so

elated because I knew I was doing something that was going to bring me closer to my destiny.

Listen, God is going to test your desire. This was me saying, yes, Lord, I believe you've called

me to the ministry and I believe you will put me in the ministry and I believe you've set this

up as a prerequisite of what I must do to enter into full-time ministry. Is this ministering to

anybody today? That God has put a dream in your heart. God has put a vision in your heart.

But it will be tested. Your desire will be tested. Your pursuit will be tested. And your

want to will be tested. Satan is not like a demonic doorman that is going to open up the door for

you and say, right this way, Madam, right this way, sir, to the abundant life, to the blessed

life. You're actually going to have to get your pursuit on. Amen. Hallelujah.

When being prepped to minister this, I just felt like the Lord in my spirit just said,

encourage my people to not allow the dream to die. Whatever he's spoken to you to not allow that

to die. And in case you have a notice, more and more everything in our society seems to be set up

for you to let the dream die. From the food we eat that disrupt your entire endocrine system so

that you just veg out to this constant scrolling to the legal weed, everything is just to kind of

numb you, sedate you, and take life as it is. And God is saying, wake up. Wake up and dare to believe.

Wake up and dare to dream again. Won't I do it? Hallelujah. But sometimes your desire will be

tested to where you even wonder, God, are you with me on this? I mean, I fell, listen, for 10 years,

I prepared to launch city light church. That's all I, from 16 to 26, I was preparing, I was studying,

going to Bible school, praying hours a day, and then I finally with Jesus leading me every step of

the way, launch city light church. And I'm thinking, Lord, if anybody's proven their want to,

it's this guy right here. You know, when I launch city light, God's going to say, well done,

enter now into your heavenly reward. Those 10 years have not been in vain. Watch what I do in this

pan of days, and they stayed away by the thousands. And I'm preaching of four or five people.

And you know, the mic went out for 10 seconds. It's like the biggest problems I have today.

Back then, the speaker would just blow out in the service. It didn't even have a worship leader. It

was the first generation iPod. Some people don't even know what an iPod is now. Because it's in their

phone now. They don't even make that anymore, right? A separate device for your digital music.

That was our first worship leader. Just play tracks off the iPod. I'd have to get up there and

all right, close your eyes, everybody, lift your hands.

And it's so sweet now. Because in retrospect, I realize, all right, Lord, you weren't trying to

torture me. But now I so much value what you've done. Because my desire was tested,

and you got to stay hungry. And keep pursuing. Hallelujah.

Thank you, Jesus. Let's go ahead and read Luke 18 versus one through seven.

Then he spoke a parable to them.

Then men always ought to pray and not lose heart. That's one of the messages this morning. Don't lose

heart. Don't lose heart. The battle is in the realm of your emotions. God wants to rob the

excuse me. The devil wants to rob the out of your heart. The dunamis. Don't lose heart.

Then he spoke a parable to them. That men always ought to pray and not lose heart saying,

there was in a certain city of judge who did not fear God nor regard man. So an unrighteous judge.

Now there was a widow in that city and she came to him saying, get justice for me from my adversary.

And he would not for a while. But afterward he said within himself, though, I do not fear God,

nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me, because she was incessant.

I will avenge her less by her continual coming. She weary me. One version says,

less she drive me insane. Crazy. Then the Lord said, hear what the unjust judge said.

And shall God not avenge his own elect who cry out day and night to him, though he bears long

with them? And shall God not? In other words, this is in the theme of Jesus talking about how much more

will your Heavenly Father do or how much greater is your Heavenly Father? Let's compare and contrast.

If this unrighteous, ungodly judge will be moved by opportunity by the widow continually coming to

him, how much more will your Heavenly Father be moved as you keep knocking on the door? Hallelujah.

It says, though he bear long with them. So sometimes there is a bearing long,

but continue bearing, continue seeking, continue knocking. Hallelujah.

How big is your want to? And the Lord for some of you is going to refresh your want to, because

the clobberings of life and the letdowns of life, they tend to rob you of the want to, of the desire

to then where you just throw up your hands and just take whatever comes. No, the things of God must

be seized. Hallelujah. I pray the Holy Spirit now come and inject you with a holy seizing and a

faith to dare to believe. Hallelujah. I said 24 when I was thinking of my age, it was 22 when I was

doing the evil city, evil city. It was 24 when I was ordained. And the day after I was ordained

in the ministry that I was a part of, the financial director came and handed me my ordination.

And she said, now that you're ordained, would you like to opt out of Social Security? I said,

why? That's a thing. She said, oh, yeah, ministers can opt out of Social Security. Some of you,

and some people think ministers don't pay taxes. We pay taxes, but we get to opt out of Social Security.

And she said, it's a decision you can make once, and then there's no reversing it. That's a lot of

pressure for 24-year-olds to make. And I asked her, what do you think? And she went, oh, no.

She said, I don't know. I mean, like, I don't know if Social Security is even going to be around

when you need it. And I'm 24-year-old and I'm thinking, well, Social Security, I've looked at my

paycheck, and that was 8%. I don't know what it is now, but it was 8% they took out nearly a time.

And I thought surely I could do better with 8% than the government. She said, you know what,

I'll opt out of Social Security. And then I'll wheel and deal, and I will multiply that, and I will

be all right. So I opted out of Social Security. Didn't even think about it. Through my 20s,

through my 30s, then Victor came along, and somewhere in my early 40s, I thought, oh,

you know that plan I had to take that 8% and put it to the side? I never did that.

So I have no safety net whatsoever other than the Lord, which let me just talk about that.

There's a lot of people who have the attitude of, oh, the Lord will take care of me.

Yes, the Lord will take care of you, but there are levels that the Lord will take care of you on,

and if you didn't use wisdom and if you didn't use your head, you're going to limit the taking care of.

Like he took care of the Hebrews and their rebellion, but they were eating, you know, quaker oats.

I don't want quaker oats every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes I want a piece of steak.

In the wilderness, he met them. He supplied their needs, but in other words, God,

when you have faith in Him, you're not getting up under a bridge somewhere, and you're not going

to end up starving. He will take care of you, but I don't want to be on barely get along street.

Okay, you're sustaining me so I don't die of hunger. This is too practical.

Look, you know who's the worst at this? Ministers. Oh, God will take care of me.

Well, what are you doing in the natural by his wisdom, by his anointing to prepare for your

future right now? Oh, prepare. And then you read the Bible, you know, many times he sent

prophecies, they prepare. There's going to be a drought. There's going to be a famine. There's

going to be prepare. So I wake up in my early 40s and realize, I'm completely unprepared.

So I get this desire. The problem is I have no money. No excess money. But I got a desire and I

start beating the bushes. Lord, you got, I don't, I'm on the clock here now. You got to multiply

this thing. And I discovered this thing and I've shared this from the pulpit before this thing

that I, and you're nothing about Bitcoin. I'd only seen quick headlines and everybody thinks

they know what Bitcoin is, but that's because everybody's too embarrassed to admit they know

not at all what Bitcoin is. That was really funny, I thought. Because whenever I talk about

Bitcoin, some, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, no, okay. So this is what I had to go,

I know nothing about that world. I know, I threw myself in ministry and ministry only. And then

it took at least 200 hours and this is the recipe. It need, you need 200, it's not really that much,

but it is when you don't get it. 200 hours to understand Bitcoin. Until I finally understood it,

and then when I really understood it, I started buying. Not with just one hand, but both hands

and two feet. And, and then that was back in 2019. And so it went from several thousand dollars,

and in the next year went to 60 thousand dollars. And so I started borrowing against my Bitcoin,

because now it went into the millions. So I went from zero to hero real quick. I share this

testimony. You know, you say, what does it keep talking about? Because the Lord changed my life,

amen. The Lord changed my life, the Lord changed my family's life. It was a major breakthrough.

Now I stand, I don't say that as this is what happened to me. Ha ha, this is what the Lord will

do for you when you look to him, cry out to him, and put some pursuit in, amen. But it wasn't an

easy journey, because I then got reckless and borrowed against the Bitcoin and then made even more

millions, and then Bitcoin has its prone to do when dropped 40 plus percent. I mean, it'll go down,

up. It's volatile. And people say, well, that's why it's no good. It's volatile. Everything good is

volatile. The Holy Spirit is volatile. Niagara Falls is volatile. When there's energy, it'll be

volatile, amen. And so I had sleepless nights. I had, I mean, Bitcoin will make you throw your guts

multiple times before it actually comes back kisses you on the cheek and hugs you.

It is not for the fame of heart. The best advice I can give somebody who wants to purchase Bitcoin

is purchase it for 10 years and forget you have it. And I'll purchase it now, not in 10 years,

as another asset, and then don't think about it for 10 years.

And so I had to keep enduring. You know what's great making millions? You know what's

painful losing millions with an M. It's more painful than ever having had them.

And I'm persisting and the Lord let me down some other avenues, Bitcoin related to purchase

Bitcoin derivative options and then got me back and then some what I'm just trying to encourage you

is to keep on keeping on. And to keep on putting one foot in front of the other while you're looking

to Jesus the entire time, he will reward the persistent soul whose desire is evident.

Come on. Hallelujah. Look, when you realize this, when you realize this, then you will understand

why that demonic onslaught in your head is there. That voice that wants to get you to just

shut down and take whatever comes and then say pseudo-Christian things like, well, God's got this.

Then it'll make sense. The devil wants you drunk, high, given up, going off into escapism,

that'll make sense when you realize that what God wants to see is a fire in you and some pursuit.

That is the evidence of your desire that he put there. Hallelujah. Thank you, Lord.

Thank you, Jesus. Luke 19 verses 1 through 5. I'll close with this.

Luke 19:1–5

Hey, let me just say this. You know. Here's a revelation. Life ain't easy.

You're going to have challenges. But there's a real trend of therapy now. I mean, like never before.

I mean, back in Europe, they always used to chuckle at Americans. They're always in the shrinks

office. All the movies are always some popping pills and a couch laying down talking to a shrink.

But now, you know, you can't even get in with a therapist and they're charging ridiculous rates

and they're booked out for months on end and there's buzzwords like trauma and abuse.

And I don't knock anybody who's experienced real trauma. That's why the Lord, that's why I do what I do

to minister to people who've been traumatized. But it's so overused now. And then when I talk to some

people, they'll throw the words like abuse and trauma around and I'll go, well, what happened?

And they're like, I have two parents and they love me. And then mom would ask me every morning,

do I want breakfast? And then they put me in all the sports. I mean, I was in baseball

and I was in soccer and they started describing what like for anybody else out of time would be an

idyllic childhood. And there is a trauma there, but here's what the trauma is. It's not the

upbringing. Everybody does not going to be a perfect upbringing. The sitcoms of the 80s weren't real.

But when they really, when they start describing, it's that they grew up in this loving,

protected bubble got out of it and started life and life just smacked them, life being life and then

oh, oh, and the shrink says, your mom, your dad, you're, oh, they traumatized me. No, they didn't.

They loved you and to care for you and protected you and we're kind to you and good to you.

And okay.

What does this have to do with the price of eggs? Because there is a, there is a group of people

who have. We've been so pampered that then when we go out there, we're shocked to learn that

everything doesn't go our way all of the time and that it actually requires them and persistence and

continuation and an evidence of desire. Amen. Hallelujah. All right. Luke 19 verses one through five.

Now behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus who was, well, Jesus entered and passed through Jericho.

That happened. And then in Jericho was a man named Zacchaeus who was a chief tax collector and he

was rich and he sought to see who Jesus was but could not because of the crowd for he was of short

stature. Some versions say he was a dwarf. He had dwarfism. He was a little person.

What does that have to do with anything? Well, you just picture him, right? Here's this rich guy

and the jewelry on him probably weighs as much as him. He's four foot ten but he's successful

and he wants to get ahold of Jesus so much and he couldn't for the crowd so he ran ahead and climbed

up into a sickle more tree to see him. What a sight that must have been. This little guy right

running with the jewelry hanging up from the robes hanging off him but he's like, you know what?

I want to see Jesus and 2,000 people around him are like, yeah, we do too. And he's like, yeah,

but I want to see him more than you want to see him. Therefore, hands hither too,

I'm going to make an absolute fool out of myself. I'm going to be like one of those rainforest

creatures that dangle from a branch by their tail. He climbed up into a sickle more tree to see him

for he was going to pass that way and notice that Jesus didn't say, look at this short rich fool.

What a sight, a Peter, get a load of this guy. And when Jesus came to the place of all the

thousands of people, he looked up at dangling Zacchaeus and saw him and said to him, Jesus's heart

was touched by what the pursuits, the want to, the evidence of his desire. He looked up and saw

and said to him, Zacchaeus, make haste and come down for today. I must stay at your house.

I just felt I didn't share this in the first service but the Lord just reminded me in my spirit.

Those of you who are single, look, not all single want to be married. Some people are single and

they're saying, I feel like this is a season of singleness. But if you want to be married,

I encourage you. Let there be an evidence of the pursuit. Whatever that means,

get together with the Lord but you cannot just be sitting and waiting and thinking that this person

is going to paratrooper out of the sky. They won't. And technically on paper, I know it isn't but

it should be easier to meet somebody. I know it isn't. And there's this like pandemic of people

not being able. Sometimes it's because the options are so much. I mean, I come from this little

village, my legacy, my history, this little town. The town itself is 20,000 people but there

were villages of several hundred people and somehow nobody ever was unmarried.

Because there are no choices. You know, it was like, who are you going to marry? Well, you know,

I know Berda from the village next to over. I've seen Berda her whole life and that's all I

got. All right, Berda, you ready? Want to spend the next 70 years together? But here in New York

City, that's so many options, so many things. Nobody can find their perfect match. But I'm encouraging

you. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but you got to do something. Do you know? Here's a

story. She's probably watching online. She couldn't be here today because she's taken care of

Vivian, my wife, Emily. That I had tried to date Emily before I actually dated Emily,

and we actually actually went out several times, you know, just as friends, just talking,

but it was like we kept missing each other. Like I couldn't connect with her at all and she couldn't

connect. She thought I was out of my mind. She wasn't she wasn't that wrong, but that was in

in the fall, then in May, because I was lonely and depressed. I said, let me call Emily.

And I asked her out and she was like a different person. And I said, what happened? And she said,

I just opened up something in my heart. Not to me, just to the Lord doing something in her life.

There was a part that was closed where she now opened up. And if you're single,

open up that part of your heart and pursue the Lord and pursue him for his will for your life

and then realize that faith without works is dead. Hallelujah. In fact, I pray for every person here

who's looking for a godly spouse. You want a good thing, a righteous thing. I pray in the name of

Jesus that heaven and earth would be moved for you. As you take steps of faith that the Lord would

cause your path to collide with somebody who's also submitted their lives to Christ,

is full of the Holy Spirit? Yeah. All impediments go. Demonic assignments that want to thwart

family and godly seed be broken in Jesus name. And for some that your hearts would be healed,

that you'd be able to trust again in Jesus name. Amen.

You're free to visit us online or in person anytime. We would love to connect with you.

We pray that you have been encouraged today, that you have been reminded how much god loves you,

and that you are surrounded by grace. Thank you for listening. Make sure that you subscribe to

City Light Church podcast wherever you find your favorite podcasts worldwide.