Sticks and Stones Was a Lie (James 3:1-12) | Point Blank — Week 6

So, you probably learned it when you were five years old, six, seven, maybe it was on the playground, maybe it was something you learned through tears, Maybe it was when a parent was comforting you because of something that was said to you at school or by someone and you learn the phrase, sticks and stones. May break my bones. But words will never hurt me. And you said those words or you thought those words is through your whole childhood and every single one of us knew then exactly what we know now that it is a lie. Sticks and stones, they do hurt.

But words can break. Words are painful. We knew it then. We know it now. That phrase is not true and today, as we dig back into to this letter that James wrote, he's going to prove that to us and I'm going be honest with you as we dig into this one.

We're going be in James chapter three and this one for me is very personal because as I was studying this, I began studying this a couple of weeks ago and god began cutting me and revealing things in me that were painful to look at. And I believe that the lord will do the same for you if you will pay attention and listen to what the holy spirit is telling us through the word of god. So, James chapter one or chapter three beginning in verse one. Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church for we who teach will be judged more strictly. So, James opens it up already with kind of the highest stakes you can have in the church.

Those who stand and teach or preach or teach a class or teach the Bible, those who are called to be elders and pastors and teachers and preachers. James calls them out and says, you might not want to do that. Think really hard about what you're going to do because there's a very high standard that goes along with it. Now, for me, you have, most of you've known me for quite a while. Sarcasm is my language.

It's just what I know. That's what I grew up with and actually, I I told y'all last week or the week before. I can't remember which sermon it was in but how I was kind of a quiet teenager least early in my teenage years and sarcasm kind of the crutch that pulled me out of that. I began to be able to lean on to that. It kind of became a defense mechanism and and over the course of that defense mechanism, over the course of years, using that to kind of get a laugh and kind of ease the discomfort in a conversation, it kind of became my love language.

That's just how I talk to the people I care about. I have fun, I joke, and sometimes, I hurt people. And I've used that phrase, something along the lines of you know I was just joking. More times than I can count. That's been my exit ramp.

It's just a joke. Didn't mean anything by it. Nobody more than my wife has shown me that. I mean, we've been married thirty years and she actually got with me after the first service and said, it's really not as bad as you made it sound but I feel like it is. I can't tell you how many times she has told me through a tear.

Or through an angry word back to a response to something I said or just through a look on her face. But that joke was not funny. It didn't land the way you intended on it to land. It's happened more than once. James, when he gives this, when he writes this, he's not singling anybody out.

He's actually including himself in this. As we continue in this, we'll see that he says, all of us stumble. All of us will make mistakes in many ways. He's saying, me too. And I'm telling you as your pastor, me too.

All of us fall in many ways and this one that James is hitting today probably hits every single one of us in the room. Verse two, he says, indeed, we all make many mistakes for, if we could control our tongues, we will be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth and a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. As James starts to talk about this, he talks about these small things that govern really large things.

He talks about a bit in a horse's mouth. Who's ever rode a horse before? There, you know, two, three times the size of us and we control em with little bit attached to some strings and they go where we tell em to go. We've tamed them. Now, not me.

When I I've only ridden a horse couple of times and they weren't great experiences probably for me or the horse to be honest with you. But for most of us, who've ridden a horse, that's how you control it. Who's ever taken a cruise before? You've looked at that ship. They're massive ships.

Even the smallest cruise ship is still a big old boat, isn't it? And if you, if you've ever stood behind it and you see what is steering that boat, it is a fraction of the size of that ship. Yet, that ship goes exactly where it's told to go by steering that little thing. Small things govern enormous ones. Even if you look in into very modern times, you can look at something like a really small computer chip.

And it controls whether a nuclear bomb is going to go off. Small things govern big things. And and Paul or James as he's saying this is telling us the tongue is a small thing but it steers everything. It can cause so much damage or it could also bring so much blessing and if we're honest with our self, where it, where we are led through our tongue, with the words that we say often, almost always steers where the rest of it goes. Think of your relationships.

The things that we say, our whole life begins to follow that. He continues in the the second part of verse five but a tiny spark could set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire for it.

It is set on fire by hell itself. Well, James doesn't pull any punches, does he? He gets right to it and he's telling us that that those words may seem small

but that small spark

can cause an awful long scar.

It can cause a fire that is raging out of control.

Now, most of us, we were from this area or we've lived here for quite a while. Most of you, you were around in 2016 and and you'll remember the story. In 2016, a couple of teenagers were hiking up the chimney tops just goofing off, playing around. They were lighting matches and they threw a couple of matches into some brush and a fire took off. And the fire got out of hand really quickly.

And you'll probably remember the story. I mean, even here in Kodak, we were seeing the smoke coming all the way down here from the chimneys. Now, the fire quickly, it burned 50 acres. Pretty big fire and the firefighters at that point were able to get it contained. It stayed contained.

For about five days but as it was still kind of smoldering, the winds begin to kick up like tornado or even hurricane force winds were coming through our area. More winds than we're typically used to and those winds begin to take that fire out of control. At that point, nobody could stop it. There was nothing that could be done except try to contain the damage but nothing could be done and and you probably know people who lost a home during that or or lost part of their business during that. There were like 2,400 structures destroyed in just a few hours, couple of days.

There there was tens of millions of dollars worth of damage done and even more important than that, 14 people lost their lives. Friends with a couple of firefighters and a couple of those guys responded to this. They they weren't a part of the responding fire department that went up there but that's what firemen do. They respond in times of trouble and they went up there and I was talking to one of them after he had been and and he was talking about just the sheer devastation and he was like, we're used to going in and being able to to buy our training, being able to be effective and he said, we just had to stand back and try to save lives. There's nothing we could do.

It was out of our control. We were powerless to stop it,

he said. That's that's still a memory that hangs with many of you. Many of you have driven up there and seen the damage if you didn't experience yourself, you

saw what happened. You can still

see it today, ten years later. You can drive up there, still see the damage that that happened. All because of a match.

And James says, the tongue is that match. Most fires, they're not started by arsonists like

this. These two teenagers, by all accounts, they

weren't intending to do this for any of this to happen. They were just goofing off.

In a small small spark started a fire that has left a long scar for many people. 14 families that lost a loved one. Many people who lost a home or business.

Sticks and stones we tell ourselves

Words don't hurt but we know it's a lie. We know that they do and James says that the tongue has the ability to set whole forests on fire. Words don't just hurt Words break.

They leave scars that are deep

and most of us, we have the scars to prove it. Most

of us could think back to something that someone said to us at some point in our life and we still carry that wound with us and on top of that, most of us have been the one initiating the scars. We've said the things to other people just in passing or just in jest that they have carried now for who knows how many years. We all make that promise. At least those of us who are followers of Christ, we've done this. Now, maybe you haven't.

Maybe your your heart's not being convicted to do this but most of us who are followers of Jesus, we've said, I'm never going to do that again. I'm never making that joke again. I'm never going to say that again. I'm never going to respond that way again. After you say, after you start that argument and say those words that hurt that person who you loved, Or after you say that joke that you thought was hilarious and then you realized immediately that it landed wrong.

I'm never going to do it again and you mean it every single time. But the desire

to be different doesn't always result in being different. Wanting to be different and actually becoming different, they're miles apart. Now, a few years ago, I was teaching through this text again.

I believe it was my youth group. So, I'm on this passage and I'm convicted because like I say, sarcasm is my language. So, I made the promise. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to

speak kind words to people, made the promise out loud. I'm going to

be different and you know what happened? It was kind of

an unexpected response to me that came from those who I'm the closest to. Now, to be fair, I didn't tell them that I had made this promise. I made it to myself between me and the lord and their response was, what's wrong with you? Why are you changing? This isn't the Greg that I know.

It's not who I'm used to. The version of me that they were getting was not the version of me that they had been with. That change almost probably felt like it was maybe a loss because it's not the same person that they were used to

and that gave me an exit ramp. Well, that's what they like. That's the Greg people love and slowly, I began to fall back into those same habits. I started to take

that exit ramp more than once. Those jokes begin to come back out and that desire that I had to change kind of went head first into this

not really intended pressure but some pressure to stay the same. To keep being the Greg that everybody was used to.

I started studying this passage again two weeks ago and god told me that's not okay. So, here we are. I actually spent the last two weeks trying to figure out how am I not going to preach this passage. How can I avoid this and make Craig do it? But here we are.

We look back at verse three. He said, we can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth and a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go even if the winds are strong. You see, James, he he's not mocking or knocking the desire we have in our lives to change. That bit in the rudder that he's talking about here, that's his picture of what we're actually chasing. We want that bit or that rudder because we want control of it.

We want to be able to to keep this horse in the right direction or keep this ship going the right way and we want control of it before we start a fire and it gets out of control. We want to steer this thing before it steers us. Maybe you're the person whose anger is slowly burning down your marriage. Maybe you're the parent who said something to your child and then heard it immediately wished you could take it back.

Maybe you're the person whose words push people away You don't know why.

Maybe you're the person who always responds to things with one upmanship or pride or maybe you're the person who's still carrying the wounds from what somebody said to you. A parent, a spouse, somebody you trust and you've glossed it over but that wound is there. See, if you are a follower of Christ, you want to control that. You want to change. You don't want to hurt people.

We want the bit. We want the rudder and James is telling us the desire is good. He doesn't mock what the desire is but where he goes next, it's very revealing and really when you think about what he's saying, it's almost shocking what he says. See, we've made a promise before and we meant it when we said it. I'm not going to do this again and then we broke it and we did it again.

Same words, same joke, same people. And and James has a reason behind that that he's going to share with us. And the reason is more than just jumping up. It's more than just confronting it and say, I'm going to try harder and I failed. There's actually an underlying thing here that James is showing us.

Let's see what

he says. Verse seven, people contain all kinds of animals. Birds, reptiles, fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil. Look at that.

Full of deadly poison. Words, they matter.

He says, people contain all kinds of animals. You look across every category of creature and human beings have pretty much tamed them. Who's ever been to a circus before? I have literally seen a hundred pound woman tame a tiger with a whip and a chair or stool, whatever she had. Tame a tiger who could have eaten her with one bite.

I I've seen a little child tell a dog to sit and the dog sits. Last year, when we were on vacation, we had the opportunity to to get in a pool with a dolphin who hugged me. We've tamed all kinds of animals. It rolled over and let me rub its belly. A dolphin.

But James says, nobody nobody can tame the tongue. He says it's restless. That same word that he uses there is the word he used in chapter one when he's talking about the double minded person. Those who are unstable or unsettled. And and what he's telling us is, you can't fix this by trying harder.

We all know that, don't we? Because we've tried and we failed. He says, the tongue is set on fire by hell itself. It's not hyperbole. This is just good theology that James is giving us.

The tongue impacts more than we ever give it credit for. So, when I look back at that failure I had and I said it's because that's what people expect It wasn't social pressure that gave me the exit ramp. Maybe it was just the enemy at work. Maybe it was the enemy whispering in my ear. It's what they expect.

It's okay. It's just who you are. Because there is a spiritual dimension to why this change is so hard. You know, the enemy has a vested interest in you not changing. The enemy, he wants to keep your tongue exactly where it is because if he can control that, he can diminish your effectiveness for the gospel.

He can make people not trust you with the words of truth because you're not trustworthy in any anything else. Verse nine, sometimes it praises our lord and father and sometimes it curses those who've been made in the image of god. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right. Blessing and cursing out of the same mouth but really when you think about it and where James kind of goes with this, it doesn't have to be loud to leave a mark.

You sang this morning, most of you. Some of you, even though you're Baptist, you raised your hands in a worship service. I saw it. I turned around. Some of you closed your eyes.

Saying every word. And this week, you're going to say something to your spouse that'll tear them down and affect them far longer than that word that came out of your mouth. Some of you when you leave here, you're going to talk about somebody in this church to somebody else in this church and mask it as a prayer concern. Some of us were going to at some point this week, tear down somebody who isn't in the room because it's a whole lot easier than having that direct conversation with them. Some of us will say something to our kid because we're frustrated and we won't even realize it came out of our mouth and it'll affect our kid for far longer.

After we forgotten it. Some of us will actually get in our car this morning. We'll walk out of the worship service and we'll make a comment about somebody sitting next to you in the worship service. We don't look at any of that as cursing. It's just conversation It's just a prayer request.

I've seen more gossip happen in a prayer circle than happens around the water cooler in the office because we can mask it. Hey, we need to pray for so and so because well, did you hear what they did? They're really, they're about to go off a cliff. Their life's going to hit a train wreck. We need to pray for them and we mask it as a prayer request when all we really wanted to do was get it out there.

Gossip Gossip is just cursing with a smile backbiting That's cursing behind a closed door because we're afraid to have that conversation in front of em. Sarcasm That's mine. That's cursing dressed up as a joke. Even though it's not intended that way. The tongue doesn't have to raise its voice to do damage.

It just has to speak. And James, he's not just saying we're hypocrites. He's saying something far more convicting than that. You see, the people who we curse, every single one of em, When we gossip about em or we argue or we make that joke. Every single one of em bear the image of the god we just sing about.

Every single one. And that should change everything about how we actually go about using our words. But we forget that. It doesn't even cross our mind in the middle of it. So, what are we actually doing when we curse people?

You know, we'll we'll say, we'll land on the the tongue as powerful. Yeah, it is. We we can all amen that. We can all even agree. Most of us anyways, we're hypocrites but we miss the whole point of what James is saying.

He says, it curses those who have been made in the image of god. Made in the image of god. You can't rush past that because every person who you've ever spoken to, kind words or curse words? Kind words or anger. Kind words or joke.

Every single one of them made in the image of god. Your spouse, your kids, your enemy The person you can't stand to be around made in the image of god. It's not a feeling. That's the reality of creation and it doesn't disappear just because our sin in the world. It is a truth.

And and here's what James is driving towards through all of this. We use our words and we sing these songs but you can't blaze bless the maker. And breath break what he made at the same time. Do do you see how that doesn't work together? When your words damage or diminish someone or dismiss or destroy someone, they are someone who is bearing the stamp of the creator.

It's not a personality conflict. It's not just being around somebody you don't like. It's not just a communication problem. It's a worship problem. Some of you, this lands a little differently You're not thinking about what you've said.

You're thinking about what's been said to you. That parent who tore you down and said, can't amount to anything. That spouse who over the years, one comment at a time has dismantled you piece by piece. But you know what James is telling us? See, when those words come at you, it's the image of god in you that's being attacked.

It's a worship problem. You were made in his likeness. Think about it. You were made in his likeness. When someone word someone's words broke you, they were defacing something that was sacred.

The image of God in you. You look at Colossians one fifteen Christ is the in is the visible image of the invisible god. Now, let's think about that for a second. Christ is the visible image of the invisible god. That word image is the Greek word icon and that word means it's an exact representation.

Doesn't look like god. It's not a copy of god. It is god. Jesus Christ, fully god, fully man. He is the fullest, most complete expression of god that has ever existed because he is god in the flesh.

We bear the image of the creator. Jesus is the image. We reflect that image imperfectly through our fallenness. Jesus expressed it perfectly with zero distortion. So, when that exact image of god, god in the flesh went to a Roman cross, what was happening?

This image, this icon, this god in the flesh who had never spoken a crossword to anyone, he absorbed the full weight of every crossword you ever said. Of every joke that didn't land, of every bit of anger that came out of you, of every wound, or every fire that you started. The exact image took the full curse. Not because he earned it but because we did. In verse 20 of Colossians one and through him, god reconciled everything to himself.

He made peace with everything in heaven and on earth by means of Christ's blood on the cross. Through him, god reconciled. To reconcile is to restore, to bring this back together what was torn apart. In James, he exposes this contradiction. It's not just diagnosed on the cross.

It was dealt with on the cross. Jesus took care of it on the cross. But you can't bless the maker and break what he made. That maker He knew every word you would say every bit of unjustified anger that would come out of your mouth every person you would wound and he did it anyways. He took the breaking so the broken could be made whole.

So that the mouth that cursed would become a mouth that heals. It's not a promise you make for yourself It's not a resolution that you make that you're going to break by tomorrow. It's not a promise you declare I'm going to be different and then take the first on ramp you can to be the same. What does this mouth transformed by the gospel look like? Well, James says in verse 11, does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water?

Does a fig tree produce olives or a grapevine produce figs? No. And you can't draw fresh water from a salty spring. You see, things produce what they are. And if you are indwelled by the power of the spirit and you're not producing any fruit of the spirit, maybe you're not really indwelt by the power of the spirit.

Nature does not produce something that's contradictory to what it is and for us, our nature is sinful but you have been indwelt by the holy spirit if you are saved and if you are in Christ Jesus and that fruit should come out. The goal is not to manage our mouths better. To control our tongue. The goal is to become something entirely different. The goal is to become something that speaks truth and life because gospel mouths will build what sinful mouths burn.

It's when the spirit does what no self improvement project can ever do. And the output changes. Who you are changes. That husband begins to catch the cutting remark before it comes out

of their mouth. Not out

of guilt but because they see their wives are made in the image of god. They're different. That parent at the end of a really hard, long day remembers their child was made in the image of god That's someone who hears the gossip and moves away not because they're self righteous, not because they're any better but because they're convicted about that. And that's also someone who can look at those who've wounded them and forgive them and find healing. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.

It's a lie from the pit of hell. It is not true. Our words matter. We know it's a lie. James knew it was a lie.

Your life has showed us a lie. And the one who made us, whose image that we carry, he knows that words break too. And he didn't leave us without a way to get through this, without a way to change You can't bless the maker and break what he made but when the maker remakes you from inside out, the fruit comes out. You start to become someone whose words build instead of burn. Someone who carries the image of of god at of the god it praises.

You're not going to do it perfectly. It's not going to happen overnight and you will look for the off ramp. But it will be genuine and it will be nothing you did. It will be the power of the spirit in you changing you. That's what life on the other side looks like and it's available to everyone of us who seek god, who are in Christ, who are growing in our faith towards him.

So as the band comes back up, Here's where we are. For starters, we're tired of the book of James, right? It hurts but we need it. And some of you in this room, you've never surrendered to Christ. We give you an opportunity every week to do that but you've never surrendered to Christ.

Maybe you've said a prayer, you've walked an aisle, you've raised a hand but you've never surrendered to Christ. This morning, you can. Scripture is clear. Do you believe in your heart that god raised Christ from the dead and you confess with your mouth that he's lord? That's always the one we get hung up on.

Confess with your mouth. That's easy. Lord, not so much. Because lord means he's in control. And scripture says, if you confess with your mouth, he is lord, you will be saved.

Have you ever done that? For real. Now, I just raised your hand, surrendered. You can right now. It's a simple prayer.

It's not a magic prayer. It's not magic words. It's your own words. It's just a confession. I need you lord.

I'm a sinner. I'm broken. I believe you are who you say you are. I surrender. Will you be my lord?

Something along those lines. If you pray that this morning, you will be saved. But a lot of us were in this room and we are saved and we've drifted We made every excuse. We need to realign. We need to repent.

And we need to apologize. That includes me. I'm not pointing fingers because this is me. We need to realign. So I want to genuinely, as your pastor, if I've ever made a joke that didn't land with you, I'm sorry.

And now you got permission to hold me accountable. But you need somebody holding you accountable too. Maybe you need to repent. The altar is open. Maybe somebody in this room you need to go apologize to them.

Don't even wait till we start singing. I know we all need to get realigned and let the source, let the power of the Holy Spirit transform you. That's my commitment to you. I'm not going to be perfect. So point it out when I'm not.

Be ready for me to point it out in you too. Let's do it together. Words matter. Let's pray. Father in heaven, thank you for your grace.

Lord, there is a standard that we are called to that I know I can't live up to. So, thank you for your grace. Thank you that every time I stumble, every time I make a mistake, every time I mess up, Lord, we read a passage like this, every time that joke comes out, but you forgive me. So I'm asking you personally, will you realign me? Help me to control the way that I speak.

Help me to speak words of love, to build, and not to burn. God, I pray for others in this room who are dealing with that same thing. Maybe it's not sarcasm, maybe it's anger, maybe it's gossip, maybe it's frustration with their children, Maybe it's course words towards their spouse. Whatever it is, father, convict us. Give us the courage and the ability to get on our knees and repent.

And god, I pray for those in this room. There's there's probably some in this room or joining us online who don't even know you. God, I pray that you would draw them to yourself right now. Convict him of their need for a savior and give them the courage to surrender their lives to our lord. However you lead this morning give us courage to respond, to not just stand in our seats, but to respond and surrender to you.

In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.