Lessons on Friendship 3 (The Principles of Clubbing to Climb II) | Rev. COS Fawenu

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with the Word of God with all simplicity and clarity.

The topic is still lessons on friendship, the principle of

clubbing to climb, and it's looking like this message will

crossover into 2026. Praise the name of the Lord.

Now we have dedicated the last two sessions of the study to

examine the characteristics of organic friendship.

You will recollect that we categorize friendship, the

evolution of it into two major category, the organic friendship

and the mechanical friendship. And we pick on David and

Jonathan and we probe their relationship, their friendship.

And we found out that their friendship is an excellent model

of organic friendship where there is symbiotic relationship,

where reciprocation surpass expectation.

And of course specifically last week we placed the emphasis of

our study on the evolution of organic friendship from non

premediated contacts that will go past contracts to become a

covenant with transgenerational prospects.

That if it is an organic relationship, organic

friendship, it will start by contacts and it is not going to

be characterized by contracts, but rather it will go beyond

contracts to a level of covenants.

And that convenance can outlive the partners that started it to

become a transgenerational kind of friendship with a lot of

prospects for children yet unborn.

And in while we were examining the relationship between David

and Jonathan, we saw how that played out.

How many bosses? The son of Jonathan eventually

became a beneficiary of the good and godly actedness of his

father Jonathan. And one day David, having

attained the truth, is said to himself.

Is there anyone left of the household of soul that I may

honor him, that I am a blessing, that I may reciprocate the

kindness of my friend Jonathan? He said.

I want to do this for the sake of my friend Jonathan.

So an organic relationship that started one day of contact

between David and Jonathan. And all through the lifetime of

Jonathan, all he did to David was good.

Then he died, The family of Jonathan lost the throne to

David. But David said in spite of what

Saul did to me, I still have the obligation to pay the loan of

kindness that Jonathan so to me. So it was an organic kind of

relationship that has this characteristics of starting as a

contact went beyond contract to become a covenant with every

transgenerational prospects that made people said eventually

benefit. I pray that in your choice of a

friend you will not pick a wrong person, that you will regret the

relationship in the name of Jesus.

And so today we are going to probe further the translational

prospects of an organic friendship.

And God's willing, we will also touch on how to preserve it if

you have it, if you are privileged to have it, how to

preserve it, and if you are privileged to inherit it, how to

preserve it because many people said inherited it.

The father, the friend of his father became his benefactor.

Praise the name of the law. So you need to know particularly

for young people that are listed to me that the relationships

built by your parent may come to you very cheaply and a lot of

you have benefited that very cheaply.

OK, your father will just give you is, is it complementary card

or you call it and then you just walk into an office and you are

given a job. You just walk into an office and

you are given admission, praise the name of the Lord.

Somebody just meets you and say, oh, you are the son of so, so,

so, so, so, so, so. OK, meet me.

There's an opportunity somewhere I want to introduce you to.

So it will come here as a result of the fact that you are

privileged to have parents, OK, who have taken their time to

behave responsibly and build relationship.

So it may come to you very cheaply.

Therefore keep it. Therefore manage it.

Therefore handle it sensibly because it will be disastrous if

you mismanage it and lose it by your careless attitude.

Lose it by your careless attitude.

So generally when we talk about friendship, friendship is

emotionally demanding. That friendship that has crossed

over to you and you are benefiting, OK, It has caused

the people that started it lots and lots of emotions.

So friendship generally is emotionally demanding and when

it is a good one, when you are getting it right, you will enjoy

a pleasant emotional experience. So friendship to a degree is a

sacred matter. It's more sacred than the casual

way some young people take it. Am I talking to somebody?

So it is emotionally the Monday and when you are getting it

right, you will enjoy pleasant emotional experience, no

heartbreak, nobody is having you breakfast.

But when you don't understand the sacredness of friendship and

the emotional implication of friendship, when they start, you

break fast, then you are destabilized, you become

depressed, you are contemplating committing suicide.

OK, you are no longer getting it right in your study.

It's just because somebody serve you breakfast.

Am I talking to somebody? But by the time you were

starting this whole thing, you will never think about the

emotional demand attached to relationship.

So because of the emotional demand of friendship or

relationship, you need to enter every level of relationship

cautiously and prayerfully because if you get it right, it

can be emotionally devastating. It's emotionally demanding.

Bless that experience. If you get it right, if you get

it wrong, it will be emotionally devastating.

I pray in the name of Jesus, the Lord will deliver you.

It will help you against going into a relationship or

friendship that will devastate to emotionally in the name of

Jesus. So every form of friendship, for

every form of friendship, casual or connected to marriage, OK,

demand the expendition of emotional capital.

There's no way you enter a relationship, you enter a

friendship that you will not expend emotional capital.

Am I talking to somebody? So, you should therefore make

the choice of your friend wisely, make it prayerfully and

audit the relationship regularly.

I've said three critical thing, make the choice wisely, make the

choice prayerfully and thirdly, audit the relationship

regularly. And may I guide you on how to

audit your relationship or friendship?

You need to ask the question what am I giving?

Hello, what am I giving? Remember I told you that the

things you look for or look up to a relationship, one of the

principalities substance. So you yourself that is going to

a relationship, what are you going to have to contribute?

So what am I giving? You need to regularly ask

yourself then why auditing your relationship?

You also need to ask what am I getting?

Hello, what am I getting? You must not be selfish in

relationship but at the same time you must not be foolish in

relationship. It's not the best that you are

giving everything and you are not getting anything.

The proportion may not balance, but it must be a symbiotic

relationship where you don't have the financial capacity to

contribute materially. You still have much to

contribute. That was why we examine the

example of David and Jonathan, one of royalty, the other of a

Pisa background. But in spite of the Pisa

background of baby, it was still contributing much.

Are we together? It was still contributing much.

So you should ask yourself what am I getting?

Because if you are into a relationship, the one that is

not contributing anything, I have nothing to lose.

Are we together? So the one that is not making

effort to contribute something to be suspected.

And I'm telling you this because of the emotional implication of

relationship. So you should do the choosing

wisely, do it prayerfully and also audit it regularly.

And what are the helpful guide, the tool kits that can help you

In the other thing I'm saying, you should go there with

substance. You should be able to ask

yourself and assign the affirmative that I am giving

something. And then you should also be able

to also assign the affirmative that you are getting something.

And then lastly, where are we going?

Three key questions. What am I giving?

What am I getting? Then together?

Where are we going? Where you are going together?

Does it align with your personal vision?

So don't because of a relationship, sacrifice your

future, sacrifice your career, sacrifice your eternity.

Where are we going? Not Tory.

Already a party. Am I talking to somebody?

Not Tory or professional. I professional people be Where

are we going? AM I communicating to somebody?

So where are we going? Where are we heading?

And so to further buttress this matter, we're going to again

look at another type of symbiotic or organic

relationship as an example of how organic relationship runs

and the experiences you can find there and how to manage the

experience because it is not always smooth.

The best of friends also do fights.

Hello. The best of friend also do have

issues. The best of friend also do

disagree. The best of friend OK also do

have reasons after the audit to say will I continue or will I

disengage? Am I talking to somebody?

So we are going to therefore examine the story of King Hiram.

Hiram spell HIR AM and King Solomon, these two great kings

with the inheritors of the friendship built by their two

great fathers. King David was the father of

Solomon. He had a friend who happens to

be the father of King Hiram, and in their relationship, Hiram did

everything well to preserve the relationship they inherited, the

friendship they inherited. But Solomon almost squander it

by playing too smart. And we're going to read that

scripture. Where can Solomon almost

squander that inherited relationship because he played

too smart. He played too smart.

And that's this story we are looking at today is the second

example in our study of symbiotic or organic

relationship that is characterized with mutual

reciprocation. We said that organic

relationship, one of the major characteristics of it is that it

is characterized with mutual reciprocation and less

expectation. So another relationship to

suspect is the one that is always expecting and expecting

very high expectation but not ready to reciprocate in any way.

So, but in the in the example of David and Jonathan, we saw an

excellent mood. And so we are now looking at

another generation, the one that inherited relationship or

friendship. King Hiram and in can what now

church can Solomon. So their relationship to is an

example that depicts mutual reciprocation and the friendship

was peaceful and mutually beneficial.

But there was an eco at a point or at a time when Solomon played

a smart one on his friend King Iram.

So both of them were of royalty, unlike Jonathan and David that

came from different social backgrounds.

And this friendship, like I mentioned earlier, started

between the fathers of these two great kings, David, the father

of King Solomon and ABI Bao, the father of King Iram.

Let's check first king chapter 5.

Maybe I'll give us First King chapter 5.

We're going to read the first 12 verses.

Please give careful attention as I read verse one.

First Kings chapter 5. And Iram, king of Tyrus, sent

1 Kings 5 · chapter mention

his servants on to Solomon, for he had heard that they had

anointed him king in the room of his father.

For Iram was ever a lover of David.

Now Iran was ever a lover of David.

You will see that the organic contents of the friendship was

retained. He had the news that Solomon has

ascended the truth, and then he made the first move to say

congratulation. You see, friendship is something

you watch carefully do not with suspicion but a friend.

I find it difficult to say congratulations when you

succeed. What are you doing with that

friend? AM I talking to somebody?

You have to be asking. Say go quit multi World

University. Only move.

Go. You got no one call.

Where you go to my pony Larani here now.

Am I talking to somebody? Are you the first person to go

to look if we call another friend, look to say I didn't

contact him for getting admission to the university?

And you keep that relationship, you don't make that person an

enemy. But you must learn to keep a

distance from such kind of people.

Am I talking to somebody? I hear you by picking you well

now, not better. So and Hiram king of Tyrus sent

his servants onto Solomon, for he had had that they are noted

in king in the room of his father.

For Hiram was ever a lover of babies.

So it means when his own father and King David were friends, OK,

as a young man he was watching it and he loved King David, the

friend of his father in our heart that the son has ascended

the throne enough transferred the same love to Solomon, praise

the name of the Lord. Somebody said I love you and the

person is doing good to your child and you are believing the

person. Hello check.

It probably is claiming lost because of what is getting from

you. So it was an organic friendship

because it was ever a lover of David.

So it was easy for him to transfer it to the son of King

David, who has not accepted the tune.

And he made the first move to say congratulation for attaining

the truth. You know, himself was already a

king. He didn't feel G3 OK that

another person is also coming to his level.

You know, there are people who cannot stand the success of

others once they are there. They want to always be there.

They don't even want anybody to near them.

Talk less of surpassing them. And I do tell people or I've had

it said and I also believe it. And I also tell people that when

you, when you are in a place where people are succeeding, it

means the spirit of success is in the neighborhood.

So it is that person. Turn today.

It will be your Tom before the day, the day close.

Why will you not rejoice? Why will you not be happy?

Praise the name of the Lord. Praise the name of the Lord.

And so he sent to him to greet him, to congratulate him.

So the relationship was organic and Solomon sent to him.

I'm saying so Solomon to now sent back to him.

You can see the spirit of reciprocation, right

communication. Thou knowest how that David my

father could not build an house unto the name of the Lord is

God. For the walls which were about

him on every side want to not put them under the soles of his

feet. But now the Lord my God had

given me rest on every side, so that there is neither adversary

nor evil occurrence. And beyond I propose to build an

house unto the name of the Lord my God.

As the Lord speak unto David my father, saying, Thy son, whom I

will set upon thy throne in thy room, He shall build an house

unto my name. Now, therefore, command thou

that the human cedar trees out of Lebanon and my servant shall

be with their servant, and on to thee Will I give ayah for the

servant according to all that thou shall appoint?

He has passed the first Test of audit.

He was. He wanted to get something, but

also ready to give something. Am I talking to somebody?

He wanted to get something but was also ready to do or to give

something. Not that he just want to exploit

his friend and take everything for free.

He was demonstrating a spirit of entirely a spirit of commitment,

not a spirit of entitlements. So when you go into a

relationship of friendship, OK, go with the spirit of commitment

that you yourself, you want to commit something, you want to

give something, not that you just want to take and take and

take and take and take. For thou knowest that there is

not among us any that can skill to heal timber like onto the

sedonians. So he understood his capacity

and he also understood his weakness.

He knew that among his own Lieutenant and people, they

don't have the capacity to the skill to heal wolves.

Are we together? And when you read the story of

the building of the temple that he needed this wolf for, you

will really know that this Cydonians really were skillful

in wolves. The Bible told us that in the

process why they were building the temple, all the woods were

pre finished in the wilderness before they now bring it to the

site. And therefore there was no sound

of the use of armor or through the process.

Am I talking to somebody? So these were excellent people,

very skillful, and Solomon wanted to engage them, but he

was also ready to give something back in exchange for both the

material and the skill, the technology they were bringing.

Now when you are choosing a friend, what value have you seen

that friend? OK, other than the fact that he

do crazy hairstyle and he will not tie his bed properly, How

does that contribute to putting food on your table?

How does that contribute to you becoming efficient in your

career and professional? Am I talking to somebody?

So you want to choose a friend, Look for value.

Look for what value not just what is involved.

A lot of people look for vogue and vague things instead of

looking for value. Verse 7 or what next verse.

And it came to pass when Haram had the worst of Solomon, that

he returns greatly, and said, Blessed be the Lord this day,

which are given unto David, a white son, over these great

people. And Iram sent to Solomon,

saying, I have considered the things without sentence to me,

Sentence to me for. And I will do all thy desire

concerning timber of Sada, and concerning timber of fire.

My servants have bring them down from Lebanon onto the sea, and I

will confer them by the sea in floats on to the place that thou

shall appoint me, and will cause them to be discharged there, and

thou shall receive them, and thou shall accomplish my desire

in giving food for my household when you are hot.

Relationship. What am I giving?

What am I getting? Where are we heading?

Where are we going? I will give all that you have

required for, but you too, You give food for my household.

And you know that Israel is an agrarian community from ancient

time up to today. AM I talking to somebody?

So the issue of substance, OK. You can't be blinded by love and

forget substance. Say I love him.

You love him for what value? You love her for what value am I

talking to somebody? So if you love a person, OK, let

that person also make himself or herself likeable.

Hello. Because you may not be able to

adduce a reason to love. Are you with me?

You may not be able to adduce a reason to love, but graduate

from just love even to the physical name of being liked.

So there must be something about you that the person who loves

you also like. There must be value about you

that the person who love you like.

If that is not there, the love may fail.

That's what tell. So Iran gave Solomon cedar trees

and factory according to all his desire.

And Solomon gave Hiram 20,000 meters of wheat for food to his

household. And 20 meters of pure oil does

give Solomon to Hiram year by year.

Can you see sustainability? He sustained it.

So he didn't give that household food just because of what you

want to get in the moment. The fact that is sustain it is

what has made it to go beyond contracts to covenants.

So one of the things that casualties covenant is

sustainability. If it's a contract, the moment,

not a not a parineer. Hello.

And some guess I'm sorry to say they are so stupid.

OK, that somebody give you 10,000 naira or less than the

and the person sleep with you and the hands there and you are

calling it love and every time the person need you give you

another money. You're a lady of easy virtue.

That's not how to live life. And the Lord gave Solomon wisdom

as he promised him, and there was peace between Iran and

Solomo. So that peace came at the cost

of commitment, not at the cost of entitlement.

The peace between them came at the cost of words, commitments,

not entitlements. What the first person promise to

give is giving it. What do that person promise to

give OK is also giving it. There is reciprocation and

that's why I said organic relationship that is godly.

Now it's going to be of less expectation, but much of

reciprocation where you take kindness not as what you are

entitled to, but you take kindness as a loan to be repaid.

And they too made a league together.

So from this scripture is clear that both men were men of

substance. One was not expecting the order.

The relationship was symbiotic. It was reciprocatory.

Until think Solomon played a first one, but Iram stayed

faithful. King Solomon played in first one

and Iram stayed faithful. We're going to study where King

Solomon played in first one in first King 9 from verse 10 to

the verse 14. Solomon promised to give Iram

City, but by the time he will give him, what he gave does not

satisfy the expectation of his I mean did not satisfy the

expectation of his prayer. In fact, the Bible mentioned

that when he received the cities that Solomon promised, he named

it Kabul. So don't serve your friend the

Kabul experience, it's not good. What is the meaning of Kabul

CABUL? It means good for nothing to

indicate his dissatisfaction with how Solomon Jill told him,

but something good about Iram is that despite this, Iram didn't

end the relationship with Solomon and this is likely due

to the fact that he was a friend that came in with commitment and

not with his sense of entitlement.

Can we read firstly chapter 10 verse for three and it came to

pass at the end of 20 years when Solomon had built the houses,

the House of the law and the King's house.

Now the relationship has endured for solitude decades and we can

have a record of the benefits that came to Solomon from the

relationship. What were they?

The Bible say? He had succeeded in building two

houses for himself. You know by himself mentioned

that his men were not skillful at building and so the

technology and the material for the building came from where?

From his friend Hiram. And from there he was able to

build 2 houses and then also build the temple, the House of

the law. And of course, the King's house

was 11. Now Iram, the king of Tarah had

fallen. Solomon with cedar trees and

fair tree, not only that, with gold, according to all his

desire. Can we give it to Haram for

being a great friend? I pray that God will give you

that kind of spirit in the name of Jesus.

And I pray also that God will give you that kind of a friend

in the name of Jesus that the king Solomon gave Iran 20 cities

in the land of Galilee, Denver sway and Iran came out from

trial to see the cities with Solomon at give him and they

pleased him not Wow. Wow, Wabito KUSA, he played a

smart one on him. The man gave him the best.

He gave him just anything and the place please alone and say

what city had this without us giving me order also I say bye.

That's why I said when we started.

The relationship is emotionally demanding and when you hook up

with the wrong person it could be emotionally devastating.

What city are this without giving me my brother?

He didn't even call him my friend.

Say my brother Haraku me. What city has given me my

brother? And they called them the land of

Kabul, Good for nothing on to this day not useful to him.

Now verse 14, Verse 14. Can you see what is there?

Let's read verse 14 together. We was a mercy lawsuit.

Yeah. Yeah.

As far as I'm concerned, I will continue to do things right.

Are you with me? Don't allow any bad person to

influence you to become a bad person.

Am I talking to somebody? I had or I read somewhere

sometimes ago I could not. I will not be able to fix the

picture properly, but I will communicate the sense that a

farmer saw a scorpion that was endangered and rescue the

Scorpio and after rescue the Scorpio, the Scorpio stoned the

farmer and the people around was trying to blame this Scorpio and

he said don't blame him or don't blame it.

OK. He is behaving to type.

If I know that time he still enter that same kind of trouble,

I will still rescue it. So maintain your tribe

irrespective of your experience in spite of what Solomon did in

verse 14 and Iram said to the king, seize called talent of

good. He gave him cities that were

good for nothing, but he reciprocated with good.

So despite his disattraction, he never steady less went ahead to

supply goods to Solomon. Not only that, he did more in

diplomatic consideration and military operations in First

King 9. If we push the reading to verse

2627 and 28, it is mentioned that Iram Sabant helped Solomon

Saban to build a man a fleet of sheep at Eson Gaber which they

used to fetch. Go from offer now, he now went

ahead again, not just building houses for him, he went him to

build sheep. On the sea first Kings Chapter 9

1 Kings 9 · chapter mention

and King Solomon made a Navy of sheep in the Zongeva which is

beside ellos verse 26 on the soil of the Red Sea in the land

of Adam. Then 27 And Iram sent in the

Navy his servants shipmen that had knowledge of the sea with

with the servants of Solomon and they came to over and sat from

there's gold 420 talent and brought thee to womb talking

Solomon the bitter experience was between verse 12 and 14.

Then verse 26 to 28. He will still continue he still

continue to do good to Solomon. So in spite of the Kabul

experience, Iransi went ahead to provide maybe support to sermon.

So casing is continued cooperation and display of

maturity. Our time is fast spent, but we

are not yet done with this man Iran.

By next Sunday we're going to talk more OK on lessons that we

can learn from this great friend.

May the Lord make you a great friend.

May the Lord give you a great friend in the name of Jesus.