Lessons on Friendship 4 (Friendship Beyond the Borders of your Social Clan) | Rev. COS Fawenu

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Tappy that we started to engage from December last year is

lessons on friendship and we have kept our focus on the

principle of clubbing to climb. Simply put, keeping the company

of the successful. So today we're still going to

continue on the fourth leg of the journey, lessons on

friendship. Today the focus will be on

friendship beyond the borders of your social clan.

Friendship beyond the borders of your social clan.

First Kings chapter 5 from verse 1 to 12 was the scripture we

1 Kings 5 · chapter mention

engaged last week and that scripture we study the

friendship between King Solomon and King Arab.

Both the ups and downs of their relationship were carefully

produced in First Kings Chapter 5 from verse 1 to 12, we noted

1 Kings 5 · chapter mention

the agreement between King Iram of Tyra and King Solomon of

Israel, where Iram provided materials and Craftsman to help

Solomon build the temple in Jerusalem.

The kind of relationship between the two of them, both men of

royalty, can be classified as friendship within a common

social clan. Friendship between a common

social clan. And in return for the supplied

supplies he made to Solomon, Solomon also supplied him with

food and other goods. So from here the symbiotic

spirit of organic relationship was at full display because we

did noted earlier that in a non organic relationship that is a

symbiotic, there's got to be less expectation and much

reciprocation and that's exactly what play out between King

Solomon and King Aram. So the King Aram relationship

with Solomon, as we also noted, was greatly influenced by their

father's friendship, David and Iran's father Abiba.

So here we can also deduce that there is this high tendency for

organic friendship to graduate into trans generational

heritage. OK, so the organic relationship

between David and Abiba, the father of Arab, was what

eventually graduated into a translational heritage between

Solomon and Iran. From there, it's important for

us to note also that friendship is needed for the fulfillment of

higher purpose. So if what you intend to achieve

in life is within the bracket of your capacity there, you don't

need a friend. But if you must achieve higher

purpose in life to a better than one, so by the time you claim to

have a friend and that friend is not contributing to your

achieving higher purpose in destiny, you don't need that

kind of a friend. Am I talking to somebody now?

Solomon wanted to build a temple in this country.

There were no skilled Craftsman OK that could help him build the

temple, and the material resources well that he needed a

good percentage of it, were not available in his own country.

And so he extended a hand of friendship to higher ram.

And higher ram supply both the wood and the professionals to

help him build so that friendship help him help him to

achieve a higher purpose. So friendship is needed for the

fulfillment of higher purpose, and if you may be able to easily

find the friend you need to achieve higher purpose within

the border of your common social clan.

And sometimes we have to cross the border of your social clan

to get it. We're going to explain that more

explicitly as we proceed in the study.

So friendship should serve the purpose of addition and also

serve the purpose of multiplication simultaneously.

So simultaneously, friendship to serve the purpose of adding

value to you or multiply your inherent capacity.

So friendship must complement by making a valuable what you lack.

So friendship must complement by making a valuable world to life.

Friendship must also multiply what you have by enhancing your

capacity to do more. Remember last week I mentioned

to you that there's a need for you to regularly audit

friendship by asking the question what am I putting in,

What am I getting, what am I getting back?

So this another way by which you mail or you edit or you review

friendship. OK, once you know that

friendship is meant to compliment, OK, you should know

yourself enough to know what you need and you lack.

OK, the friends you are keeping, are they able to compliment you?

Then friendship must also apply. Multiply what you have by an

answer, your capacity to do more.

So a friend should be a catalyst in your life, not an inhibitor.

A friend should be a catalyst, not an inhibitor.

So, and in the case of Solomon and Iran that we studied last

week, we especially found out that there's much benefit from

their alliance on both side. A few of those things we can

notice are the following. One, access to national

resources. The national resources in Tyree,

where Iran was the king was wood OK and professionals, skillful

Craftsman, he made them available to Solomon.

Then in Solomon land was abundance of food because the

the the land over which Solomon was raining was an agrarian

society. So they also have plenty of food

and spices and so on and so forth.

So access to national resources, then they are coming together.

Also strengthening trade and diplomatic ties, strengthened

trade and diplomatic ties. What we say essentially is that

your friends should be able to create opportunity for you.

Your friends should be able to bring you to opportunity that

can help your destiny. Then they have joint business

venture. Now what are you doing with your

friend that you cannot trust with money?

What are you doing with a friend that you cannot trust?

That if you put your business in this custody, you will not

disappoint you or JIT you. So they have joint business

venture, they traded in good and so many other things together

then regional influence and security.

So don't keep a friend that can easily give you out.

Don't keep a friend. That's the price.

So regional influence and security, the two of them, when

they came together, they become much more respected.

And there was no story that any of those two nations were

attacked as at the time they were keeping diplomatic

friendship together. So they are inheritance

friendship made it easier for Iran to trust and to cooperate

with Solomon those yielding mutual benefits.

So it was an heritage because they inherited it the the

friendship relationship from their both friends.

So however, that does not mean that you always have it good all

the time. So that indicates friendship

demands maturity, it also demands humility and one of the

two persons must take the lead in demonstrating the two,

particularly maturity. So in that story of Solomon and

King Aram, King Aram eventually proved to be the most mature and

one that is most sacrificial in the relationship.

Let's be clear Explore that the maturity the Mossabai king Iran.

We find out as we engaged the study last week in first screen

Chapter 9 verse 10 to 14. After Solomon gave Iran the city

that he promised to give in. OK, it was recorded that Iran

was displeased he was not satisfied with the cities he

gave him. In fact, the Bible called those

city Kabul, which means good for nothing.

So indicating that Iran was abstractly dissatisfied with

what he got back for his commitment to the friendship

between him and Solomon. But in spite of that, Iram

didn't end the relationship with Solomon.

Now one thing that will also help you if your friendship, we

have a long span tell if it's a +1 that can benefit you is to

learn to use your magnifying lens.

On the positive side of your friend, the strength of your

friend, the goodness that your friend does to you.

Learn to use the magnifying lens to see it.

Hello, are we together? So don't use your magnifying

lens on the little error that is in your friend.

If he has been doing you good, good, good, good and good, then

one day it does. What is not pleasing to you?

You don't because of that, put a magnifying lens on that one day

of batting at the end the relationship.

Am I talking to somebody? So because it's required

maturity, humility and patience to keep a good company.

So despite the fact that there was one day Solomon did

something that didn't please Iran, he didn't end relationship

with Solomon. He kept to relationship.

So Iran push himself as a supportive and loyal friend to

Solomon. So and that's why I said between

the two of them, he demonstrated more maturity.

He gave more to the relationship.

He positioned himself as a supportive and loyal friend to

Solomon because it was after the Kabul experience that he

deployed his Navy officers to help Solomon in his trade of

goo. So from here, we can consider

Haram as a skilled diplomat, a leader who prioritizes mutual

benefit and cooperation because despite being satisfied with the

cities he received, he continued to support Solomon,

demonstrating his commitment to their alliance.

His action source is a pragmatist.

His action source is a strategic thinker.

It's not my OP. He value the bigger picture over

personal interest. You know the relationship has

come to the level whereby it's a mutual benefit between their two

kingdoms. So what he lost was not the

benefits to the entire country. What he lost was its own

personal benefit. He doesn't say because of his

own personal benefit that he could not get.

Then we had the relationship and put the entire country into into

problem or missing the benefit that should flow in terms of

food and spices from Solomon Kingdom to his own Kingdom.

So from here, I can see a man who lived the Christ standard,

the Scripture says, in terms of honor, which will always put our

neighbor ahead of us. So he lived the Christ standard

despite not being a Jew or Christian.

And on the part of Solomon, OK, it's unfortunate that he did

what he did to Iran. And so the lesson for us there,

the New Testament Christian, is that it is not good if you

guarantee of the unbelievers in the perimeter of our influence

cannot see the difference Christ has made in US.

Hallelujah. Now what Iran did to Solomon,

OK, one will expect that it is Solomon that you saw that level

of kindness and maturity, but it was the other way, the other way

around. So the unbeliever here looks

more like the better friend. Hello, the unbeliever looks like

what? The better friend.

And that's why I say it's not good if the generality of the

unbelievers in the perimeter of your influence cannot see the

difference Christ has made in you.

Jesus teaching the beatitude on the month in Matthew 520 He said

For I say unto you that accept your righteousness shall exceed

the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees.

Yes I know kids enter into the Kingdom of heaven.

So in any relationship you must seek to be the better friend

tells yourself tell your neighbor be the better friend

tell your neighbor be the better friend tell yourself I will be

the better friend. The Lord help you in Jesus name.

Now. That was the issues we looked at

last week and the lessons thereof for today's study.

Our time is fast pain, but it's important that we engage this

particular one too. The focus is friendship beyond

the borders of your social clan. Friendship beyond the borders of

your social clan. I have emphasized again and

again that organic friendship is symbiotic in nature, organic

friendship is symbiotic in nature, and that regardless of

your rank, regardless of your position on the social scale,

you will not be able to predict the day you will need help

outside your regular or natural social clan.

So we all have our inherited or circumstantial social clan.

How do I mean? I cited the example of Iran and

King Solomon to you. The father of the two of them

were kings. Are we together?

So their immediate or natural inherited social clan is

royalty. In the case of Jonathan and

David, it was not so. Both of them didn't come from

the same social clan or class. So we all have our inherited or

circumstantial social clan. In other words, there are two

type of social clan. We have the natural play

inherited social clan and then there are also circumstantial

social clan. For instance, the university is

a leveller, so you can find the child of the poorest man, OK,

sitting in the same classroom with the child of the richest

man. So circumstances has brought the

two of them together. Am I talking to somebody?

So they are taking the same lectures together, writing the

same test together. You know, because circumstances

of education has brought the two of them together.

So Solomon and Iram were born into royalty that was the

inherited social clan. David's friendship to Jonathan

was circumstantial. If not for Goliath issue, if not

for the evil spirit. OK that always afflicts.

All these two circumstances were the things that made David and

Jonathan to cross path in destiny.

Otherwise David wouldn't have spare smell being a friend.

To the son of the king. So David Francis Jonathan was

circumstantial. It was a baby of circumstance.

And if that if those circumstances didn't come up, it

was possible that their path may never cross.

Am I talking to somebody? So now what is the lesson here?

Don't keep yourself within your inherited social clan.

The focus for today is friendship beyond the borders of

your social clan. So don't get yourself within the

borders of your inherited social clan.

Observe your circumstances and utilize it to improve your

social credential. One of the things you should

give attention to very early life is improving on the on the

credential. OK that you have socially.

So improve your social credential.

Prepare yourself with the capacity to fit into a higher or

broader social client. Regardless of whether you are

you have a peace out background or an A middle class background,

commit yourself to improving your social credential

credential. And you do that by observing

your circumstances and using it to improve your social

credential. So prepare yourself with the

capacity to fit into a higher or a broader social clan.

And so many circumstances is provided that platform for you.

So many circumstances are provided that upon for you, for

instance, the opportunity you have to go to university, the

one you have to participate in, the one year compulsory National

Youth service must be utilized to expand your social clan

beyond your tribe. Expand your social clan beyond

your faith. Expand your social clan beyond

your field of study. You have studied accountancy or

marketing? Praise the name of the Lord, OK?

It's not too good that all the friends you have OK are people

who study accountancy. So what you have in the

university, you have done your one year service.

Utilize it to expand your social class beyond your tribe, beyond

your field, beyond your field of study, and as a working class.

Some privileges do come, so when you are privileged to attend

workshops or you are giving any out of the duty post assignment,

make sure you gain new friends. By doing that, you are expanding

your social clan. You will not know where you will

need that person per venture by the time your your party destiny

cross. OK, you adjust lower ranked

officers at the state level. You may not know that friend you

met. Now in 10 years to come, OK, we

have transferred service to the federal civil service and is now

a permanent secretary there. Am I talking to somebody?

Am I talking to somebody? So as a working class those

privileges you have to attend workshops or you are giving an

out of duty assignment. Make sure you gain new friend

friends that can add value to your life.

Then as a leader or a senior cater worker, ensure that you

are friends or confident even among your junior colleagues.

Don't just boss everybody. Let there be a social

environment where your junior colleague can walk over to you

and give you vital information, even advice.

You OK? You can deliberately pass on

files to a junior officer. OK, if the information there is

not classified, am I talking to somebody and ask the junior

officer to make recommendations to you and you will discover

that you find one thing or the other that is superior to what

you will have put on the on the file.

Am I talking to somebody? So have confidence among your

junior colleagues and respect their opinion.

Respect them. Why you cannot tell the day you

will need help outside your social clan?

You will not be able to tell the day when you will need help

outside your social clan. So one day destiny may demand

that they may demand the king to fulfill the obligation meant for

a prophet to perform. I would justify that with with

his with his scripture. Second king chapter 5.

Second king Chapter 5 S one day destiny may demand a king to

perform the function meant for a prophet.

How will he handle it? Second three Chapter 5 from

verse one. Now Neyman, captain of the host

of the king of Syria, was a great man with his master and

honorable because by him the Lord had given deliverance unto

Syria. He was also a mighty man in

valor, but he was a leper. That's true.

And the Syrian had gone out by companies and had brought away

captive out of the land of Israel a little maid as he

waited on Neymar's wife. Can you see a blend of social

clan? Now circumstances has brought a

little maid, a little guy, a slave to the household of a man

described as a mighty man of valour.

Now you will now see how a little maid added value to the

life of a man of valour. And the lady could do that most

probably because he was not being maltreated in that family.

If she were being maltreated in that family, she may not care at

all about whatever evil before befell that family.

Verse 3. As she said unto her ministry,

Will God my Lord, while with the prophet, while with the prophet

that is in Samaria, for you will recover him of his leprosy.

And one went in and told this law, say thus and thus share the

maid, that is, of the land of Israel.

And the king of Syria said, Can you see now military slave, now

to the palace? So you will not tell the

circumstance that will come up that will require you to operate

outside your natural social clan.

The voice of that Lady resonated in the kings palace and the king

of Syria said go to and I will send a letter or to the king of

Israel. The lady told them about a

prophet, but the letter was not being sent to a king.

And he departed and took with him 10 talents of silver, and

6000 pieces of gold, and 10 changes of women.

And he brought the letter to the king of his saying, Now when

this letter is come unto thee, behold, I have therewith St.

Naman, my servant to thee, that thou mayest recover him of his

leprosy. There will always come a day

when they will give you an assignment that's outside your

capacity, that is outside your credential, that is outside your

training, and you must carry out that assignment.

How do you go about it? If you had one that's always

keeping to yourself, you are living only in your own world.

Am I talking to somebody? The King of Syria, as at that

time he has the capacity to punish the King of Samaria the

way the king of United States just punish the king of

Venezuela. If he didn't meet up with the

demand, are we together? So a request was on his table

that was outside his social corridor to handle.

And it came to pass when the king of Israel had read the

letter, that he rent his clothes and said, Am I go to kill and to

make alive that this man don't send unto me to recover a man of

his leprosy. Wherefore consider, I pray you,

and see how he seeketh A quarrel against me.

And it was so when a lifestyle demand of God had had that the

king of Israel rent his clothes. Now there are so many silent

things that has happened between verse 7 and verse 8.

Certainly there is a relationship between the king of

Israel and prophet Elijah. Otherwise he will not hear that

the king was in trouble and be concerned.

Am I talking to somebody? This as part of the reason you

maintain cordiality with people and you keep friends beyond your

social clan, so that when for any reason you are in trouble,

people will not rejoice, rather they will be concerned and see

how they can help you out. And it was so when Elijah the

man of God had heard that the king of his son had rent his

clothes. That is sent to the King saying

wherefore as our rent by clothes.

Yes, the matter has come to your table.

OK, you may not have the capacity to hand me, but why are

we friends? So the reason I am anointed is

to help you or your truth. Am I talking to somebody?

But that will happen because beyond the corridor of royalty.

OK, he also has a friend among the priesthood.

Let him come to me and he shall know that there is a prophet in

Israel. So Neyman came with his horses

and with Sharon, and stood at the door of the House of Elisha.

Of course, the king of Syria should know that the king will

not kill leprosy. If a king could kill leprosy

himself was a king, He should have done that.

I don't need this file. You should know that that

assignment at most is a job for the prophets.

So why would the king of Syria ask the king of Israel to kill

naman of his leprosy? And of course he was well

informed that the little mate that brought the idea said that

is a prophet in Israel, not a king in Israel that could kill

leprosy. Am I talking to somebody?

So he was well informed that it is a prophet, he said, that can

cure the man of his leprosy. But he nevertheless requested

that they should go to the palace instead of going to the

prophets. And that request went to the

palace instead of directing it to the prophet.

Here is the answer. The day king will be asked to

cure leprosy. His reason?

He must have prophet in his circle of friendship.

What is the lesson they have for you?

Your destiny assignment will not be limited to only your

professional training or natural gifting.

Your destiny assignment is different from your career

assignment. So your destiny assignment in

life will not be limited to only your professional training or

natural gifting. Therefore, you need friends

beyond your natural social climb.

Know this, in life you will not be the one to solve all the

problems that will pass through your corridor.

Destinies are aware that that problem will not be solved with

your will not be solved on your corridor.

Are we together? But yet the problem will pass

through your corridor. So you will not be the one to

solve all the problems that will pass through your corridor.

This is the reason you must create room for friends of

different categories of capacities in your corridor of

influence. So for the king of Israel or to

the king of Israel, what the king of Syria did was a

provocation, but to Elijah the prophet in the land, it was his

own natural vocation. So what the king of Syria

consider a provocation was a simple vocation for Prophet

Elijah to handle. So what was the saving grace of

the king of Israel? His saving grace was the cordial

channel of communication between the palace and the office of the

prophets. Friendship beyond the borders of

your social clan. So your office with all its

powers may not be relevant to solving some problems, but it

may only be relevant to connecting people to the

solution to their problems. And that is why the problem is

passing through your corridor of influence.

Am I talking to somebody? So the problem you don't have

the capacity to solve, you may have the influence to refine

them to where they can be solved.

So the king of Syria didn't send directly to Elijah, IS sent to

the king of Samaria who took it as a provocation, whereas is

well connected by communication to a prophet whose vocation is

to kill leprosy. So I round up gradually by

saying make friends across circles of social gradients,

have friends on the streets, are now friends in the palace.

Let the social environment around you depict a rainbow.

The social environment around you must not be monotonous.

You must be accessible to people of different social backgrounds.

Be accessible to people of different social background.

So don't be a rich man who despises the poor and not be a

poor man who hates the rich. Let the rich respect the poor.

Let the poor admire the rich. There is no basis for qualms

where humility and maturity lead.

God bless you. We believe you'll be blessed by

the ministry of this message. You will do well to be the duer

of all you've heard. For further inquiry and

spiritual help, contact This number is 08035685882.

Our worship with us at Oasis of Bible Church or Just Saints

University of Illorin Teaching Hospital or Kelsey Illorin.

God bless you.