Lessons on Friendship 8 (The Concept Of Association And Destiny Mutation In Friendship) | Rev. COS Fawenu

Our topic of discussion still remains lessons on friendship.

We are taking the eighth session today and for today the

particular focus will be the concept of association and

destiny. Mutation in friendship.

The concepts of association. No association is another word

for friendship. You associate is the reason you

are in friendship and if you are in friendship you will always

associate. So the concept of association

and destiny mutation in friendship.

Mutation means changes. Mutation means what changes a

kind of breaking about a difference from the original.

So destiny motivation in friendship.

Now what many people really don't know is that friendship is

a platform for the exchange of ideas.

So the environment where you have the best, the platform for

communication is friendship. In friendship you are free, you

find it comfortable, you find it convenient to converse.

So where there is conversation, there will be exchange of ideas.

But not many people take a particular note of that, that in

the process of exchanging ideas, OK, your world view is also

changing, Your perspective is also changing.

You cannot stay in friendship and remain riches.

There will be an influence that your friend has or you, as a

result of which your world view is changing.

And as your world view is changing, you also discover that

the philosophies and the principle by which you approach

situations of life will also be changing alongside.

So take note that in friendship you are standing on the platform

for the exchange of ideas. You can also feel friendship as

platform for interchange of habits.

So there is no way you exchange ideas that has effect on your

convictions and it will not reflect on your habits.

So the best is that any person you have seen that has the kind

of habits you can't go along with.

Be careful of going to freshly with such a person.

It is popularly said that so me, your friend and I will tell you

who you are. Fiore de homie queso urania tea

OJ. So it's a platform for

interchange of habits and this interchange of habits can

ultimately lead to destiny mutation.

By that I mean it can change your course of life.

It can influence you to change your direction in life.

And that's what I mean by destiny mutation.

Now when you start out alone, you are following a particular a

particular trajectory, a particular direction.

But by the time a friend comes into your life and you are

standing together on that platform of exchange over there

interchange of habits, before you know what is happening,

instead of going left is that is that to go right instead of

going right you have to go left. In fact, it can be so

influential on you that you can make a complete U-turn and

people around you will notice that they begin to ask

questions. Is it not the same shadow that I

used to know it used to be it used to be very reserved, but

today since an astrophot everywhere somewhere, somehow,

somewhere, OK, if friend has influenced, am I talking to

somebody? So it can ultimately lead to

destiny mutation. Now this is the caution.

So where you call when you are standing on that platform, we

are caution, wisdom and the fear of God are not allowed to

dominate. It may lead to destiny,

motivation. Where you multilate something,

it means you destroy it. Are you with me?

So it's allowed if the mutation OK, is positive.

If the mutation we have value to your life, but in the place

where you are standing on that platform, you do exercise

caution, you don't apply wisdom and you did not permit for the

fear of God the kind of mutation that will take place.

Change that will happen to you can eventually lead to destiny

motivation. I pray for you.

I pray over your destiny. You will not embrace a

relationship that will multilate your destiny.

You will not embrace a relationship that will destroy

your destiny in the name of Jesus.

So the greatest influence of friendship is force felt and

seen in your habits. You want to assess the

profitability or otherwise of friendship.

The first thing you check is your habits.

Am I talking to somebody? So the greatest influence of

friendship is false faith and same in your habits.

So when there is interchange of habits, OK, the consequent

result is that you will have a different perspective to life.

You embrace new philosophy, new principle, and then you start to

behave differently from what you have always been known for.

So in essence and in summary, no friendship leaves you the same.

No level of friendship leaves you the same.

If you connect to the right person, you embrace positive

values. If you connect to the wrong

person, you embrace negative values.

No friendship leaves you the same.

It is either it leaves you with increased wisdom, you become

wiser, leaves you with multiplied wealth.

OK, they are friends that come into your life.

I start to to gain values and ideas that help you to multiply

wealth and of course on the negative side it can also leave

you with grievous wounds whereby you suffer injury.

I pray, I pray the Lord will insulate you against destiny

injury. As you are associating life in

the name of Jesus, so no friendship leaves you the same.

It will either leave you with increased wisdom, multiply word,

or grievous wound to leave. Proverb 1320 Make it your memory

verse. Let it guide you as your

associate in life. He that worketh with a wise man

shall be wise, but a companion of food shall be destroyed.

That summarizes what I have been saying, that in friendship

destiny mutation is imminent. In friendship, when caution,

wisdom, and the fear of God is not factored in destiny,

multilation may result. And the wise man put it in

proverb succinctly Proverb 1320, that worketh with the wise men

shall be wise. So increase wisdom, and by

increased wisdom you can also increase words.

Then they be part of it. But a companion of food shall be

destroyed, a companion of food. Ungodly people, rascally people,

people without the fear of God. A companion of such set of

people, their destiny will be motivated.

So it is not in the nature of friendship to leave you as you

are. Friendship will compel a change

on you. It's never in the nature of

friendship to leave you as you are.

It must influence you in one way or another.

That's friendship for you. No matter how short lived the

friendship is, it will make a mark on you.

I pray the friends you keep will make you a star.

The friends you you keep will not give you a scar if you are

die. You know, that's what some

friends are in the lives of their friends.

But for you, I pray that the friends you keep, you will

choose them by the instruction of the Holy Spirit, by wisdom,

and therefore by your association together you will

become stars in the name of Jesus.

So it's never in the nature of friendship to leave you as you

are. It must influence you in one way

or another to the degree that even when your friend is sick in

the body or in a problem, I'm painting a practical situation.

If you are committed to friendship, if your heart is in

friendship, your friendship, your friendship enter a level

that is called soul time. OK.

It can be so practical that when your friend is sick in the body

or your friend is in the problem, you also become sick in

the mind. Hello.

Is that not if you are really committed to friendship and your

friend is sick in the body, are you aware of it?

You will not be able to bear it. Or your friend is in one form of

problem or the other, You don't discover that for that moment

you also become sick in the mind.

And if you are not a good manager of your emotion, you may

also come down with a more serious bodily sickness.

Is that serious? You can also come down with a

more serious bodily sickness. There are people who have heard

about the fact that their friend had an accident, OK.

And the way they respond, they come down with stroke.

Hello, are you with me? So that is how serious

friendship could be. And so for today, we are going

to probe this matter for them, the concept of destiny

interference and interchange of habits in friendship.

You know, once you come into that platform of friendship,

there will always be destiny interference, the destiny of A

we interfere with the destiny of B.

And obviously it can be seen in interchange of habits.

Some measure of character that you see in A, you begin to find

it being expressed by B and this was A.

So why interaction take place as a result of friendship may not I

mean why the interaction that takes place as a result of

friendship may not completely change you?

We are not saying you completely change.

It may not completely change you.

But the truth, like I keep emphasizing, is that no

friendship leaves you as you were before you entered it.

No friendship leave you as you were before you enter it.

So in friendship, interference of habits, character, and so on

and so forth will take place. So you discover that you handle

losing a part of you to your friends, you lose a part of you

to your friend, and then you gain a part of your friend to

yourself. It happen in any form of

friendship. OK, let's take it even from

diet. There are foods you are eating

today, not because when you started out in life, you love to

eat that kind of food, that kind of diet, but because your friend

enjoy it. Your friend introduced you to it

and now you enjoy it. Church through a force so and on

and on and on. There are practical examples

like that there are people who naturally when they started out

in life they grew up in in a family and environments that

don't have to do anything to do with alcohol.

But today they have become Alcoholics because they keep

friends that drinks, smoking, doing drugs and all of those

things. Influence of influence of

friends. So you lose part of you to your

friend and you gain part of your partner in any form of

friendship where there is commitment.

And of course, like I mentioned earlier, friendship does not

have to be deep to make a significant mark on those who

are involved in it. OK, there is a friend that stay

in your life one week and it changes you are you with me for

good and as a friend I didn't stay in your life more for that

one week and the damage he caused you are still leaking the

wound, OK ten years after. So friendship does not have to

be deep to make his remark on those who are involved in it.

So when we talk about the concept of destiny, interference

and friendship, this has to do with the effects that friendship

has on your personality, the effects that friendship has on

your personality. So when we talk about destiny,

interference, destiny, motivation and friendship, we're

talking about the effects that friendship has on your

personality and consequently on the direction of your life

journey. Whatever affect your

personality, we are fed the direction of your life journey.

And my simple definition for destiny is direction of life

journey. I pray in the name of Jesus you

will not make a friend from people that are running on the

wrong lean of destiny. It's a prayer that I expect a

louder Amen from you. You will not keep company with

people that are running on the wrong lane of destiny in the

name of Jesus. People who are running on the

wrong lane of destiny, they keep upbeat and they engage in

activity that may make them end up in prison.

Am I talking to somebody that may make them end up as failures

in life? Mukh padra luria your money and

you be Mukh padra Luria your money.

They will not keep the company of those that are running on the

wrong lane of destiny. In the name of Jesus, you will

not choose for a husband. You will not choose for a wife,

a man, a woman running on the wrong lane of destiny.

In the name of Jesus, we have seen examples upon examples

whereby you will see a very wonderful lady and then people

will look at the kind of money in marijuana, open it by you.

They will say, oh, regrettably, this man has destroyed this

lady. I play a game for you as you

choose who to marry in life. Young people, hear me and let

your heart be in this prayer. You will not choose for a

husband. You will not choose for a while

a man, a woman running on the wrong land of destiny in the

name of Jesus. So the same go for interchange

of habits. This deals with the reality of

soul time. I mentioned that already so

tired a situation whereby your friends succeed OK and you begin

to have a feeling that you don't need to pursue success again.

You are in the success together and your friend entire problem

OK. And it's like your own world is

also crumbling down South interchange of habits that can

eventually lead to a detour in your direction of life journey.

So in friendship you discover that you enter a bonding that

will influence you to borrow or inherit character traits of your

friend. That's what happened.

It's a bonding that will not influence you to borrow or to

inherit the character trait of your friend.

OK, I have had parents say it in Yoruba to their children or

multimobe called yiwaniwa longu or multimobe called le Yiwaniwa

longu. So as a result of what the

sociologists call Pierre prayer, what do I call it?

Pierre prayer, Pierre prayer, Pierre prayer.

But you may not notice this when your friendship is on and in its

juvenile season of bonding. So the changes that friendship

bring upon a man is faster than you can comprehend.

That's what I'm talking about. The changes that friendship

brings into the life of a man, particularly young people, is

faster than you can comprehend. So before you realize, see so

many changes has taken place before you come to the

consciousness of what is really happening, so many changes has

already occurred. So when your friendship is at a

juvenile stage, you may not realize it has caused you a

sift. So inside every form of

friendship, a sift will always take place.

A sift of mindset, a sift of habits, a sift of perspective, a

sift of orientation, a sift of direction, a sift in your

convention. OK, all of these, thank you.

God bless you. All of these happen without, you

know, being consciously aware of what is going on.

However, when you are living in the oblivion of what is going

on, by virtue of the kind of company you are keeping, the

people who are watching you, you can notice it.

Hello, it is you. Because of the emotional

attachment that has gone into the relationship, you may not

realize that shifts are taking place, but the people around you

that are watching you can notice either the positive or negative

metamorphosis that has occurred or is ongoing in your habits.

In fact, is spiritually sensitive and socially conscious

parents will know it when a new friend comes into the life of

his child, even when he has not met the friend.

Hello parents in the house. If you are not sensitive to that

level then you need to work on yourself.

Oppo do maru amato B. If I think about the yato OK,

he's able to lay your finger on what is causing the change,

either positive or negative. So especially sensitive and

socially conscious parent would know it when a new friend comes

into the life of his child even when that parent has never met

the friend. In fact, it always reflects very

much easily when a friend of the opposite sex enter the destiny

space of your youth. Hello.

Even our illiterate mothers in the village, when a friend of

the opposite sex enter the destiny space of their youth,

they know it. When it happen, it may reflect

as a newly found confidence and then some parents will interpret

it as insolence. So the the the young man, the

young woman will know we demonstrate some new level of

confidence, demonstrate some new level of independence.

OK, to the degree that Ubia interpreted be on say oya du

tabi on tabu. Hello tabon Shi Arifi.

I think that's the proper word. Don't say arifi.

So, so insolence. So at that point such a youth

need is help and not insult. So some of the parents that take

note of such rather than help the youth and guide the youth

deny start to insult them. You will not tell your corny I

told you were at least like that.

If mothers in the house, if your parent ever say that you cannot

see your hand off or your auntie ever say that to you, then I was

OK praise the name of the Lord. But that is the truth.

Very practical. Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

So learn these and know how to help your own youths.

Then depending on the temperament of the youth, it may

reflect as emotional withdrawal and that may even tell on the

academic performance. Why now they are now getting

involved in the emotion draining love in Tokyo extra curricular

activity. And so because of that you see

withdrawal and then you guys not freaking start to tell even on

their academic performance. So generally a friend has the

best opportunity to change you positively.

A friend has the best opportunity to change you

positively. And of course a wrong one also

has the easiest opportunity to influence you negatively.

He says opportunity to influence you negatively.

We study Amnon. I think last week that guy

wouldn't have gone into that wrong act of raping the step

sister. But a simple suggestion from a

friend messed the whole team up for him.

His destiny was motivated on the platform of keeping the company

of a friend that is running on the wrong lane of destiny.

I pray again for you, you will not keep the company of that

boy, You will not keep the company of that guy.

You will not keep the company of that man or woman, Ronnie or the

wrong name of destiny in the name of Jesus.

Then when you come on that platform of destiny interference

call friendship, you will notice that No 2 friends have evenly

shared common capacity. So you won't come to that space

with capacity that is evenly shared.

When it comes to influence, you will discover that one may have

upper hand when it comes to influence.

Introducing habits, introducing perspective, introducing ideas.

No, you will not come on the platform with evolution, the

capacity, in fact, your capacity will not be replica, but because

you are standing on that platform of destiny

interference. You would go that with one thing

that this list they will be blending.

So what when the friendship started?

Some of the things you don't agree with, you won't know where

you start to embrace it and practice it.

You understand what I'm talking about?

The kind of diet you don't enjoy, OK?

You won't know when it's suddenly become your favourites

diet. Why?

Because the one that comes in with the superior capacity to

introduce ideas or to influence you is the one that love that

kind of diet. And so with your bonding, you

start to blend. So when you now find 2 friends

that are now demonstrating the same trees, they are now

behaving the same way. They now love to wear the same

type of colour. You come in with the mindset

that my best colour is white. The other one best colour is is

blue. Suddenly your best colour became

white becomes white. OK, that's what happened over

time. So it happened as a product of

the bonding and consequently the blending that has occurred

because interchange of your respective habits is taking

place very fast. So destiny mutation is already

occurring gradually. So when friends start to

influence themselves like we have it in genetics, 1 trait

will be dominance, the other traits will be recessive.

I want to believe you understand that perspective from basic

biology. So just as we have it in

genetics, when friendship, when friends come together to start

to interact, you will discover that while we come with dominant

capacity to influence the relationship, the other one that

has the recessive habit will be so you understand it.

So you understand it, So you understand it.

And somebody is already driving you in his own direction as he

gets your own direction. Am I talking to somebody?

So influence in friendship is therefore not shared evenly.

One of the two partners, we have the higher receptive capacity.

OK, you just absorb, you just agree so that there will be

peace, so that there will be understanding, so that

relationship will not break even in marriage.

Then the other we have the higher driving capacity.

So the dominant one we have the higher driving capacity, the

recessive one, we have the higher receptive capacity.

If guy is not thinking OK, receptivity will become

stupidity. Am I talking to somebody

receptivity we call all stupidity.

So you need to be careful. So the one with receptive

capacity will always be the one that's so small understanding to

keep relationship mutual. But he must beware of what I

call collaborative syndrome, whereby everything through now

choose what to swallow everything through.

That is what you accept. You must learn to put in

deliberate efforts to know where to draw the boundary.

Put in deliberate effort to know where to do what to draw the

boundary. So if you possess the receptive

capacity and in a higher manual in your relationship, don't

blame yourself. It is your nature.

Are you with me? Don't blame yourself, it's your

NATO. But there is one thing you must

guide against. And what is that thing guide

against? Losing your capacity for self

administration completely to the collective decision or advice

from your friend. Do you understand why you want

me to come again? Now you have the IR receptivity

receptive capacity. Don't blame yourself for it.

It's your nature. It's your nature.

But then agree that it is your nature.

You must also not allow receptivity to become stupidity

like I say. And how do you succeed at at

that? Don't lose your capacity for

safe administration. So one thing you must be saying

is the capacity for self administration.

There are things over which you will answer for yourself.

So don't submit something to collective decision or advice of

your friend and I will explain for that.

So you need to learn how to say no without feeling guilty.

So people don't have that capacity to say no.

They feel guilty whenever their friend make a demand and they

don't give it. So you don't give in every time,

particularly where you know that what is being demanded of you is

injurious to your destiny. So how to retain or maintain

your capacity for self administration in a relationship

is not to lose your capacity for self administration.

Do everything to maintain or retain your capacity for self

administration. So and it is known by you

learning how to say no without feeling guilty.

So as you go into friendship because destiny mutation is

something that must happen and destiny multination may result

if you are not wise. So go into friendship game with

your capacity for destiny insulation.

You insulate yourself against embracing bad habits or copying

bad habits from your friend, and the way you do that is by you

developing or learning the ability to say no with courage.

Say no with courage. More importantly, where your

confession is about being violated or disrespected, so you

must not so love your friend. To disagree that your friend,

you call himself your friend, but there is never a time he

respects your view. What is it?

Don't do now. Am I talking to somebody?

Your view too must be respected. If you have a friend that

doesn't respect your view is not a good friend, he's only taking

advantage of your culibility. So always remember that joint

decision don't always translate to collective responsibility

when the chiefs are down. Yeah, we agreed to do it

together. I had input of my friend before

I took the decision. My friend said we should do it,

and I follow him. Collective decision, collective

action may not always translate to collective responsibility

when the chiefs are down. Every man will carry his own

cross, so that's why I must learn how to draw the boundary.

Every man we carry what his own cross.

So it is wise, therefore, to ask yourself anytime and every time

you advise, who will answer for the consequences of the action?

Who will be had the consequence effect of Sydney?

But when the chips are down, who will bear the consequence?

Why? Because there's a mean for you

in that relationship to come in with destiny insulation

mechanism. Otherwise your destiny will be

multilated. Ye that workers were the wives

were the wives, the companion of fools shall be what destroyed.

I begin to wind down by saying if the consequence is solely

yours to bear. If the consequence is solely

yours to bear, then give every joint decision a second thought

before you commit to acting on them.

The Yoruba proverb says TD Baba, you'll have to complete it to

need the Lunda. So if eventually the test goes

wrong, you bear the consequence alone.

Therefore, go into every friendship with your destiny

insulation mechanism intact. And I put it succinctly this way

because destiny mutation is imminent in friendship and

destiny mutilation is a possibility to in friendship go

into friendship with a functional destiny in solution

sensibility. God bless you in Jesus name.