Lessons on Friendship 9 (Your Children & Their Friends) | Rev. COS Fawenu

Don't be left in the dark. Get proper understanding of life

through the Word of God. My people perish for lack of

knowledge. The Word of God is an

illumination which gives direction.

Remain placed as Reverend was feminine illuminates your mind

with the Word of God with all simplicity and clarity.

The topic is still lessons of friendship.

The focus today will be directed more to the parents in helping

their children to manage their friends.

But I'm glad that a lot of younger people who will soon

become parents are also in the house.

Please take notes of these instructions, take them to the

future and you will not regret it.

In the name of Jesus. I'm not saying that you will not

have personal informations that will help you, but our focus is

to put in the hands of the parents those vital informations

glean from the pages of scriptures that will help them

to guide their children to manage their friends.

Last week, part of the major emphasis, and of course that

became a prayer focus, is that our youths will not make friends

from people that are running on the wrong lane of destiny.

You recollect that Hallelujah, the same prayer that I pray for

you last week is still standing and it will work in your favor.

You will not keep the company of friends that are running on the

wrong lane of destiny in the name of Jesus.

Now to this focus, we'll achieve the objective of how from home

welcome become the models that will help our children to keep

the company of those that are running on the right lane of

destiny. And so we are connecting which

where we stopped last week to put in the hands of the parents

how they can become the model that will help their children to

keep the company of those that are running on the right lane of

destiny. The law will make your feet firm

on the path of righteousness. I've just prayed for a young

lady. I've just prayed for a young man

that the Lord will make your feet steadfast on the path of

righteousness in the name of Jesus.

You will run well on the path that is leading to greatness in

the name of Jesus. Now let's begin this way.

When you consider life in the way or in the manner God

designed it and He wants it to operate, you will take note that

life is only personal in accountability.

It is never private in practice. Life is personal in

accountability. That was why all through the

previous session, I keep on giving you the advice that

whatever you join others to do, remember that when the chiefs

are down and the consequences arrive, you will face those

consequences alone. You remember I mentioned that

over and over again. That's why I said listen, but

filter before you follow anyone's cancer.

You remember I said that. Why?

Because in accountability, life is personal.

But in terms of what you will face in life, but in terms of

how you will respond to query over authorities that are above

you. So you will be the one that will

give accounts of yourself. Then ultimately to God Almighty,

your creature, for which I all stand before the judgment seat

of Christ. And we are going to tell OK,

whatever we have done in the flesh.

So in accountability, life is personal.

However, in spite of that, the accountability, OK, it's only in

terms of how you will report and how you will face the

consequences of whatever you do. You cannot take life as a

completely private affair. So in practice, life is never

private. I am still trying to buttress

the fact that you can say because you don't want to keep

the wrong company and choose the option of staying away and not

connect with people, you will have to connect with people.

While life is only personal in accountability, it is never

private in practice. So life is a journey that is

never undertaken alone. So God did not design life as a

solo risk to be undertaken alone.

Life has never been a private enterprise.

You want to look at it from the spiritual angle.

Life is never a private enterprise.

You want to look at it from the social angle, from the cultural

angle. Life is never a private

enterprise. You will always need man in your

life. For instance, you talk about I

want to build my private house, but after building it, are you

the only one that will live in it?

Hello, it's my private house. It's my private business.

Yes, your private business. Will you manage it without the

input of all that? So your private house, you are

not the only one that will live in it is pointing to you that in

accountability, life is personal.

In practice, life is never private.

Oh, my private car, Are you the one driving yourself?

And if you are the one driving yourself, are you the mechanic

servicing it where you need to service it?

Again, addressing the fact that life is personal in

accountability, but never private in practice.

So God did not design life to be a solo journey to be undertaken

without interpersonal and corporate interaction.

So in two ways you will discover that you have reasons, OK to go

along with others at the level of interpersonal interaction or

at the level of corporate interaction.

Corporate interaction in terms of students in school, in terms

of workers in their place of war, in terms of dealing with

institutions of government. Am I talking to somebody?

So you will say no, I will go get for myself a place in the

wilderness and then leave alone there.

You don't want to have to do with the troubles that comes

with the relating with people or giving answer to institution

that demand you to pay tax, that demand you to have obtain one

certificate or the other before you can run your business.

And so you need to prepare yourself for that reality that

in practice life is never private.

At the interpersonal level, you will interact.

At the corporate level, you will interact even when you come to

church. It's a corporate level of

interaction. The idea of it I was in church

said was I mean never. You have to belong to a unit and

we have to function there and it's not going to be everything.

They'll be doing that unit that will please you.

Am I talking to somebody? That is the reality.

You can't escape from it. You only believe in self

deception. If you would say you want to

take life as a complete private enterprise is never so.

And taking us now, coming back to the family level, you will

take note that children are not to be taught to make friends.

Children warm up in for launtarily without anybody

compelling them OK with a warm up to people.

In fact, this car is not taking your toddler can just follow a

neighbor without you knowing what has happened.

You start to search for the for your daughter.

So children are not taught to make friends, they simply

respond to the natural instinct for companionship.

Children make friends freely. Do you know that they make

friends freely? Why?

Because that is the way God wired man to operate.

I give you the example of our Lord Jesus Christ.

There was a time when he was still a very young person.

At age 12 he was found missing, turning a pygmage to Jerusalem.

And what was the natural assumption of the parents put

Joseph the father and Mary the mother that made them to stay

for a very long time without looking for him.

They had their solution that was in the company of their

kingsfolk and accuters. Why?

Because it is natural for children to affiliate.

It's natural for children to warm up to others.

And if from the beginning that time, that age you don't take

load, your children may pick the wrong friend and wrong or the

wrong name of destiny. And that is why for today the

focus is helping your children to manage friendship.

So the thinking of mother Mary and Father Joseph when Jesus was

missing on that vocation of pregnant to Jerusalem was that

most probably it was among the children of their relations.

The Bible specially mentioned that they thought it would be in

the midst of their kings full. In other words, family

relations. And they also mention another

possibility. Perhaps it was in the midst of

their acquaintance talking about family friends.

Can we check few chapter 2? I read about 5 verses there from

verse 14. And the child grew and waxed

strong in spirit, filled with wisdom.

That child be referred to here is the Lord Jesus Christ, and

the grace of God was upon him. Now his parents went to

Jerusalem every year at the feast of the Passover, and when

he was 12 years old they went up to Salem after the custom of the

feast. Corporate interaction.

OK, so both the family and Jesus are to be in the company of

other people outside their immediate family because life is

not organized by God or designed by God as a private enterprise

for one reason or the other. You will have to be in the

company of others, in school, in social gathering, in the

corporate environment, and so on and so forth.

And when they are fulfilled, their days as they return.

The child carried behind in Jerusalem.

So it was connected at other levels different from the

immediate family level. Are we together?

So there is nothing you can do to keep your children from

making friends. So, and there is the

technicality of how to handle it is not about shouting on them

every time. No, you have to keep them on how

to interact responsibly. Am I talking to somebody?

And Joseph and his mother knew lot of it.

He did it on his own volition. He did it out on his own

volition. So you don't sit down to them

and teach them to make friends. They do it by themselves because

it's an instinct in them, instinct for companionship.

I'm going to expand more on that as we push the teaching further.

So his mother and his father knew lot of it, but they

supposing him to have been in the company when they done him

and they sought him among their kings, folk, family rendition.

But Jesus has gone beyond that level.

They are thinking about hello. Some children have gone very far

away and the parents are not aware.

They are thinking the child is still at that level where they

are feeding school, feeding the child, whereas the child is

already fending for himself somewhere as far away.

Hello. Particularly in this digital

age, the parents are still thinking that those children

they have as the children that can be tied down by

superstitions and cultural disease, not knowing that on the

social media, the children are already living in a completely

different wide world. So why they were thinking that

the Lord Jesus Christ was in the midst of the King's folk and

kill town. He was already at another level,

but thank God he was on the right name of destiny.

He was not connected with the people that can derail him.

He was connecting with people that can bring him to the

understanding of the Scripture. In fact, it was very possible

that that was part of the place where he discovered Isaiah,

Isaiah 61 or 63, because it was shortly after chapter 2 that we

found him. In Chapter 4, he appeared in the

temple and he started to expand on the scripture that talked

about his purpose and destiny. So that temple encounter might

be the place we are connected properly to discover that

purpose. Am I talking to somebody?

AM I talking to somebody? So what they were thinking that

Jesus was at the level of kings, folk and acquaintances.

He was already a company of professors, people of far

advanced level of knowledge. As many of you that have gone

far away from the place that is right for the fulfillment of

your glorious destiny, the Lord will return you no matter how

far you have gone. I said the Lord will return you

in the name of Jesus. So the company you keep has a

lot of effects on the company that your childhood will keep.

So as a parent, when you are choosing your friends, you are

indirectly choosing friends for your children.

Hello. As a parents, when you are

choosing your own friends, you are indirectly choosing friends

for your children. So that's your college mates.

That is not portraying the right character.

OK must not become your intimate family friend, otherwise your

child may find may warm up to that person and begin to pick

wrong habits from that person. So when you are choosing your

friends, you are indirectly choosing friends for your

children. And So what the family that you

warm up to and also watch the behaviour of the children of the

family you have chosen, you have chosen as your family friend.

Otherwise you bring your children under the wrong

influence. So vacuum for friendship is a.

Part or a type of the natural instinct in every man.

The vacuum, the emptiness that must be filled.

OK and the only person or category of people in society

that can feel it, our friends, is a natural instinct in every

man. If you are a normal man, OK, you

are carrying a vacuum that is seeking for friendship.

So it is abnormal to enjoy loneliness is what Asami Church

is abnormal to enjoy loneliness? It is a disorder to be

comfortable doing everything alone.

Remember where we started from, that life is only personal in

accountability. It is never private in practice.

In the practice ability of life, you must connect with others.

It can only be personal in accountability.

You will give account of yourself.

Nobody will account for you. You will face the consequences

of your decisions alone. Nobody will face it with you.

That is an accountability. Life is personal, but in

practice it is never private. So for you to be comfortable

doing everything alone is a disorder.

God puts vacuum in the human system that other people must

occupy. So there's a vacuum in every man

that another person must occupy. And that is what makes

friendship a necessity. It's a necessity.

It's a necessity. It's not a must that Mister A

must be your friend. But you will discover that if

you don't need Mr. A, you will need Mr. B.

So friendship is a necessity. God put in US failings point.

Failings point that different categories of people desirable

for destiny fulfillment we are tacked to in our lives.

If you understand basic chemistry, you will know the

term failings point. OK, the reason some atoms cannot

stand alone, it's because they have villains.

They have villains points by which another one will combine.

Is it to make a molecule or something like that?

So in the same way, OK, every man has villains points, OK,

that others were attached to. For your destiny to be

gloriously fulfilled, to be optimally fulfilled, to are

better than one for they have a good reward, a good profit, a

greater benefit for their labor. So every man has fairness point,

which I also call thank you that other categories of people

desirable for destiny fulfillment will occupy or

attached to in your life. So you can liken a man in this

contest. So is Kelete that cannot

function without the different organs that are attached to it.

You have the eye socket OK is a vacuum is a space.

So you must put the eyeball there and the eyeball was also

carry some wire that we are attached to some other things

that are eventually go to your brain, your spinal cord, then

you'll be able to see. So the empty cellophane OK by

itself cannot function. Am I talking to somebody?

So different people come into your life.

They are like the different organs occupying the different

space in the skeleton called man for man to be functional.

So a man in this context can be likened to escalating that

cannot function without the different organs that are

attacked to eat. So the relationships that you

have are you service regularly, are the organs for your

efficient functionality. The relationship that you have

are you service properly, you service regularly.

They are the organs for your efficient functionality.

I pray in the name of Jesus, any organ of your destiny that is

lacking and is the reason you are smacking in life, may you

discover that organ in the name of Jesus.

In the name of Jesus. So every man's destiny space is

too big for him to occupy alone. That again, is very instructive

and I want you to take strong note of it.

Your destiny space is so big and too big for you to occupy all

alone. I mentioned the fact that yes, I

built my private house. You won't live there alone.

I have my private car. You may not be the one that

drives yourself. And even when you drive

yourself, when the car has issues are required to be

serviced, you are not the mechanic that will fix it no

matter how smart you think you are if you are not trained in

that aspect. So every man's destiny, Space is

too big for that man to occupy all alone.

Every man's destiny, again can be likened to a mansion with

different rooms. Your destiny can be likened to a

mansion, not just a single room apartment.

Hello. No matter how little you think

you have, no matter how small you think you have, no matter

how pleasant you think your background is, your destiny can

be likened to a mansion with different room.

In fact, the destiny of some people can be likened to a

skyscraper with many floors. To put it differently, every man

has their feelings point of attachment to different

categories of people at different levels.

So you have your valence point of attachment OK to different

categories of people at different level.

You will operate and engage at your age group level.

You operate and engage at the corporate professional level,

OK? You operate and engage and look

up to people that are higher than you.

Are you with me? So that's why I said you can

again liken every man's destiny space to a mansion with

different rooms and you alone cannot occupy all the rooms.

And for some, you can even liken it to a sky creeper.

OK, you are rising. And as you are rising, you are

connecting at different levels. So you have the fairness point

of attachment to your parents, the fairness point of attachment

to your peer group. And at this various level you

are picking friends. Am I talking to somebody?

You are picking partner. You have to pick.

We are picking companies to keep the feelings points for spouse.

At this stage you will have to decide who do I settle down

with? So that's why I said your

testing space liking to a mansion or even a skyscraper.

So as you are advancing horizontally and you are

climbing practically, you will discover that each of these

feelings points will be picking up.

OK people to attach with. Am I talking to somebody?

So the failing point of professional colleagues, the

failing point of spiritual and even professional mentors as you

are rising vertically. So it's going to amount to a

destiny error for any particular level of interpersonal

relationship to monopolize other other categories of

relationship. Now you know, I started with the

various points by which you are literally attached to your

parents. Now if Kia is not taking, some

parents can be so dominant that they now want to occupy every

aspect of your feelings points. And it's going to be a destiny

error when your parents decide to be everything to you.

You are so attacked to your father because your daughter

loves you. Are you with me?

That is not even coming to your understanding that at 22 you are

already of age. You should be detaching to some

degree from your father and begin to see who in life will

you settle down with. And some fathers are not even

sensitive to it until it is getting too late.

And then the issue of who to marry is becoming a prayer

project. I pray in the name of Jesus, the

issue of who you will marry in life will not become a prayer

project. It will come easy.

It will come natural, and you will attack to the right person.

You will attack to the man running on the right lane of

destiny in the name of Jesus. Ditto for some mothers.

They can be so domineering in the lives of their children, OK,

that the children will be running in life with the

assumption that their mother is everything.

Your mother is not everything. Your mother is somebody very

vital, very important. OK?

But your mother is not your father.

Hello. Your mother is not what?

It's not your father. And your father is not your

mother. So it's a destiny error.

It's a destiny error for any particular level of

interpersonal relationship to monopolize all the categories of

relationship. And then it gets to some point,

some people get married, OK, and then they detach completely from

their parents and relations, OK, thinking that all that is needed

in life is to live the life of me and my husband, me and my

wife. It's a destiny error.

Am I talking to somebody? It's a destiny error.

So it amounts to destiny error for any particular level of this

interpersonal relationship. I have itemized to monopolize

other category of leadership. So parents should not monopolize

their children but guide them on how to make friends responsibly.

Husbands should not dominate and monopolize their wives.

Do you know that that also happened?

Hello, do you know that that also happened?

That the husband consulted the wife and prevent her from making

friends? It's not right that your wife

will keep the wrong company, but it's also not right for you to

prevent your wife from having friends.

It takes wisdom, it takes understanding.

Are you with me? It takes deliberate efforts to

manage the issue of company keeping OK in the race of

destiny. So husbands should not dominate

and monopolize their wives. And of course there are wives

that also dominate and monopolize their husband.

Yes, when you get married, you may not be able to go along with

all the friends in your single days, but a situation whereby

all the friends of your husband before you marry you decide you

it's already a problem. Hello, what only or NRL call you

all or die? I'm not saying you'll be able to

go along with everyone. Am I talking to somebody?

So know this as a spouse, whether husband or wife, you

cannot occupy your mother's in law sport in the destiny space

of your spouse. Hello.

You can't occupy your mother's in law sport in the destiny

space of your spouse. You can't occupy your father's

in law sport in destiny space or your spouse.

However, the focus, like I mentioned from the beginning, is

about how parents can help their children to manage friendship.

Why? Because the first and naturally

automatic relationship in the man's destiny space is that of

the parent. The first person a child we are

attacked to is the mother, then with time, the father.

So the first and natural automatic relationship in the

man's destiny space is that of the parent.

It is now therefore the primary responsibility of the parent to

provide guidance on the different kinds of people their

children will accommodate into the other empty space in their

destiny perimeter. We have drawn analogies OK that

a mass destiny space can be likened to a skeleton and a

skeleton on its own cannot function without the different

organs that fill the different vacuums that are in the

skeleton. A man's destiny space can be

likened to a mansion with different rule.

In fact, some like skyscraper with different flaws as the

structure is rising. Are you with me?

You'll be engaging with different categories of of

people. Now, as your children are

growing up under your tutelage, how do you help them to

accommodate the right people into their destiny?

Space for the parents. You don't choose your parents.

Hello. If you were to choose your

parents, some of you we choose Donald Trump.

Hallelujah. You may not choose your father.

OK, but you don't choose your parents.

It comes natural. However, you choose others.

And another intrigue about this issue is that you don't have to

wait until the age of maturity is attained before you choose

some of these people that for example, your pet group.

So that is why again the owners and the responsibility is on the

parents to help their children. Your parents may at a stage as

you are growing up occupy all these videos vacuum Hello.

Your parents at a state may occupy all these three different

vacuum. Your parents is your advisor

where you have questions on issue of law.

It is your father you talk to. It's your mother you talk to.

You want to choose your career, OK, before you will talk to your

your pastor, I mean your teacher because your father is there,

you talk to your father. So at the present, the I mean at

this stage, the parents are required to fill all the vacuums

temporarily and also guide you to decidedly as to welcome these

other categories at the appropriate stages that they are

supposed to be brought in. Because if you don't smart up to

it, OK, your 10 year old daughter may be accommodating a

boyfriend. Are you with me?

So if you don't matter to know that the vacuum is there and the

hormones of the body, we demand for it, but the parents to smart

up to know that OK, why it is not yet right to be there, you

must be there. Why it is not yet right for the

child to experiment with that level of relationship.

You must do what you must be there because if you are not

there, you will endanger the destiny of that child.

They will experiment immaturely, OK with a level of relationship

that should be delayed. So making friends or bringing

people into your destiny space don't wait most of the time

until the age of maturity is attained.

And that is why the parents must be there.

Companionship does not wait until children are fully mature

in their mind before it happens. And of course we won't say our

children should not make friends as toddlers.

We won't say our pre children should not make friends as

teenagers. And this is the reason a parent

presence in the life of their children's go beyond food.

Clothing and school fees. Am I talking to somebody?

Your presence, what you represent in the life of your

child or children, OK, goes beyond food, clothing and school

fees. May you understand the concept

of presence. I'm praying for a parent, I

said. May you understand the concept

of presence? As a parent, you are the

feasible guardian agent to your child or to your children, and

without being overbearing, you must be there.

Without being overbearing, without being domineering, you

must be there to guide them into sources in every aspect of their

lives endeavour. What is called absenteeism,

which is common today. Some fathers are not there, some

mothers are not there. Are you with me?

Today people are promoting single motherhood.

Single fatherhood, OK, All of this will create absenteeism.

The children will be at the receiving end.

So what is called absenteeism is the greatest disservice a parent

can do to the destiny of their children.

Absenteeism is the greatest disservice that you are not

there, that you are not creating your presence, that you are not

giving your children the confidence, OK, that they can

mess up and run into your hand. Am I talking to somebody?

They can desire something good and you'll be there to provide.

Absenteeism is the greatest disservice you can do against

the destiny of your children. Even our heavenly Father God the

Lord Jesus Christ is called Emmanuel.

God is with us when you pass through waters, He said.

If we abandoned you to yourself, is that what you hand in the

Scripture? He said it will be there with

you. You will go through it with you.

Hello many of you your children fail exam and you are not there

with them to pick up the pieces of their destiny and advance.

Are you with me? So even though I have only

Father, OK, one of the way or the responsibility put upon

himself to stand in that office as the elderly father is that

he's always there with us. Presence, the concept of

presence. And the parents that doesn't

understand the concept of presence will lose His children.

So what gossip most as our Heavenly Father is to keep His

presence with us without a break at any time.

Your absence is damaging to the social, spiritual and

psychological development of your children.

We are not there when absence is what you visit with the destiny

of your children. You are doing a great damage to

the social, spiritual and psychological development of

your children. You can know it OK if you're

married to A, to A, to a wife whose father was not there.

It will reflect if you get married to a man whose mother

was not there when he was growing up.

OK, with time, in fact, very quickly, you eventually discover

if some of you that are having issues in your marital

relationship, if you sit down and underline, you'll be able to

trace it to either the absence of the father or the absence of

the mother in the upbringing of your spouse.

Am I talking to somebody? And so whatever was wrong in

your upbringing, you should not repeat that error in the life of

your children. Be there for the Take this to

heart. If your children are dear to

you, be there for them. If your children are precious to

you, be there for them. If your children are dear to

your heart, be there for them. Children say, parents, I want to

hear you say it loudly. Dear Daddy, dear mother, they

are mummy. Be there for all because we are

dear to you. Are you are dear to us?

Am I talking to somebody? So if your children are dear to

you, you must be there for them. Do I stop today or we rest this

matter properly? I think it's wise.

We rest this matter properly so that I'm not going to be a

disconnect. How to become a friend to your

children because you are the one that must be their first friend

so that when the wrong one enter their life, they can decide am I

talking to somebody? You must be their first friend,

OK, A more than one friendship ought to be to them so that when

they engage with the wrong one, they won't settle down there.

They will know how to quickly disengage.

Am I talking to somebody? So the first step to achieving

the objective of helping your children to manage friendship is

to make your children your friend.

Hello, make your children what's your friend?

Don't be due to Calabar in the home to your children.

Hello. Don't be the ever shouting

mother. Every time we get to your home,

we must find a cane by your side because that is the only way you

can check your child. You can't check them by

communication. You have not learned the key.

You are also not mature enough. If I was sabi alas ano joba.

Listen to this, bring yourself down.

Jesus said it. Except you become like little

children, you will not make evil.

So the first point of engaging with them and connect with them

is to bring yourself to their level.

So make yourself their friend. I am making yourself their

friend does not encroach into your parental rule.

It does not encroach into your parental authority.

We are not saying abdicate your parental authority.

We are not saying surrender your parental authority.

But by coming down to their level to understand them, you

are enhancing your parental rule.

You are also enhancing your parental authority.

A lot of people think by sitting down even with their wife is

reducing their authority. It's not.

So am I talking to somebody? So you must learn to employ the

friendship approach to manage your home.

And when you do that, that does not reduce your importance.

I'm talking to the men now that you employ the friendship

approach to manage your room does not reduce your importance.

Hallelujah. There are sometimes I I look up

to my chair and say don't call me daddy, call me Sunday and

then they will laugh and I say call me Sunday.

They will not want to call that. I say if you don't call me

Sunday, then we are not we are not putting this discussion.

Praise the name of the Lord. No, it's it's a lively

atmosphere. Are you with me?

It's a lively What atmosphere? But that does not give them the

audacity to to disrespect me by the time I also come out with

the other side. Am I talking to somebody?

Am I talking to somebody? So when you employ the

friendship approach to manage your home, your relationship

with your spouse or help with your children does not reduce

your importance. Rather, it increases your

presence. Because you need presence, OK,

to be able to be in charge and in control of your children.

That is why they will be away from home, OK?

They will still be feeling your impact.

The fear you instill in them will still be there with them.

So presence represent the greatest care a parent can offer

his child. Presence.

Presence not present. A lot of you are replacing

presence with presence. You go and buy gifts.

Good is part of it, but your presence is more important than

the presence. So presence represents the

greatest care in parent and over in child.

Presence is what children seek and find in friendship.

When a daughter lacks the presence of a parent, that

daughter can pick up all the bill of a boyfriend.

That over is presence. So what you call Kuru call me on

on my day that you are monkey. But when the presence of the

father is not there, OK. Even when the man is connected

with is not giving her money, OK She'll be picking the bills of

the boyfriend. If it's the wrong one that is

offering her presence. Am I talking to somebody?

So, yeah, yeah. The few fathers that are here.

So yeah, yeah. So yeah, yeah.

So a daughter that lasts, the presence of our parents can pick

up all the piece of a boyfriend that offer his presence and

nothing more. And once presence is guaranteed,

you can no longer predict other things that may follow.

And as a result of the fact that the father's presence was not

there, that is why she run into the hand of a young man, even

when it's not a responsible one. At the end of the day, you are

going to be blaming the child and the father will be, will be,

will be will be will be will be forming.

What do I call it now? Or display an authority that is

not there. What you are going to pray to

repose simple Lomas is sonu. If you are not there, your child

will get lost. So you lose your child the

moment you see realizes that you are not there, the moment you

also recognizes or realizes that you're not there, you lose that

shine. May I tell you, And it's very

prosecuted and it's nothing but the truth that there are things

you will not know about your children, particularly the

teenagers and young adults until you make them your friend by

offering them your presence. There are things you will know

them, you will know about them until you make them your friend

by offering them what your presence.

So you cannot prevent your child by always displaying authority.

You must create or create room for mutuality.

It's not always by displaying authority, but by creating room

for mutuality. And the way to achieve that is

by coming down from the high horse of dictatorship to the

friendship level of cordiality. You come down from the iOS of

dictatorship to occupy the friendship level of cordiality.

And how do you know the difference?

You know the difference by the mode of communication between

you and your children, by the mode of communication between

you and your children. As a parent, you must know when

to employ the different levels of communication.

So as a parent, you communicate more by instruction and

correction. So as a parent, the

communication mode will always be by instruction.

Go and watch the place. Go and clean the floor.

Go again. You didn't do it very well.

You by instruction and what? And correction.

But as friends to your children you communicate by discussion.

Hello. Do you know when to to switch

from instruction and correction to discussion?

When last do you discuss with your children?

Are you with me? Can you stand afar off?

And you are giving instruction? OK, Can you come, Sir?

OK, well, last did you? Well, last, did you hold his

hand? OK, how you talk?

Am I talking to somebody? So when you stand in the office

of a period in structure correction, where you stand in

the office of a frame discussion, God bless you.

Then other form of friendly interactions that are not

strictly formal. That's how you communicate as a

friend. Other platform of interaction

that are not strictly formal playing Ludo, playing words.

OK, some of you think. And so on and so forth.

Even we pass us, we are guilty of that because we think that

that is not spiritual. Am I talking to somebody?

And because we think those are not spiritual, we lose our

children. So if formality define your

relationship with your children, absolutely.

If formality define your relationship with your children

permanently, it will create a war that will prevent them from

becoming your friends. If everything is former, former,

former, former, former, former, former, former former between

you and your children praise the name of the Lord.

And then you get to the you get to your friend's house or you

are visiting another family. The children of other family.

Hey, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, daddy. And then you impress them.

Hey, yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo yo-yo. And your children never

experienced that with you are people can celebrate your

birthday. But when they are born.

Mojo the man Mojo. Yeah, you do Calabar to your own

child. OK, but your Father Christmas to

another person's child. So if formality define your

relations with your children permanently or absolutely, that

will create a wall that will prevent your children from

warming up to you to become your friend.

If you are too busy, you are too organized to play with your

children, you will never be able to draw them to yourself as

friends. My daughters that are yet

married, my sons that are yet married, are you going with this

into your future home? Please go with them and the Lord

will bless you in Jesus name. So don't be too busy, don't be

too organized to play with your children because if you do, you

will never be able to draw them to yourself as a friend.

So if your children cannot see element of friendship and the

way you relate with your spouse, that's another dimension because

you are modeling friendship to them so that when they begin to

connect with people outside the home, they will know the proper

way to handle it. So another thing you must do is

that be a friend to your spouse. So you must.

I will go to discuss that more next week.

Hello, I'm going to discuss that more next week.

Your wife is your wife, but more than your wife make I your best

friend. Your husband is your husband,

but more than being your husband, make him your best

friend. OK?

You are going to gain a lot from it, but more importantly from

the way you connect as friends in the room, as daddy and mummy,

you are modelling friendship to your children.

Am I talking to somebody? So if your children cannot see

element of friendship in the way you relate with your spouse, it

will be impossible for them to warm up to you in a friendly

manner. So let your home as I'm winding

down now for us to continue this week with Jesus model of

friendship that let your home be a home in the true sense of the

word. Make a deliberate effort.

To ensure that your children don't lose eagerness to come

back home When your children goes to school, OK.

And from school you run to football field and then you play

the football TV and you are that the child is not coming home.

That's the problem. The child may not be finding

your presence enjoyable. Am I talking to somebody where

your children goes on holiday? Are you with me?

I'm from I mean half holiday in school.

I'm from school move with a friend to another.

I mean to a friend to go and connect with the friends of the

friend and then from the friends and back to school.

You are not missing him. He's not missing you.

While I think there there's no you can answer your child to

return home, there's a problem at this stage.

You call to the place the children will seek independence

and be right for them to seek independence.

But there's a stage when it is dangerous for that to happen.

Am I talking to somebody? Am I talking to somebody?

So let your home be a home in the true sense of the word.

Make it deliver to ensure that your children don't lose the

Gunners to come back home. Let your home be home indeed and

not a correctional centre that nobody wants to go to.

You know what the correctional center is OK?

In those days we call it prison. Abby.

Today they modernize, they call it correctional center.

The way some men are managing their home, they are managing

not like a home. They are managing like a

correctional center. God bless you in Jesus name.

We believe you'll be blessed by the ministry of this message.

You will do well to be the duer of all you've heard.

For further inquiry and spiritual help, contact this

number is 08035685882 or worship with us at Oasis of Wisdom Bible

Church or Justin's University of Illori Teaching Hospital or KFC

Illori. God bless you.