Lessons on Friendship 13 (From Servanthood to Friendship) | Rev. COS Fawenu

Who is this? A Wisdom Bible church?

The Church of a distant Christian narration.

We have been on this journey for the last 13 weeks, praise the

name of the Lord. And it's looking like the issues

that keep on coming up will not be exhausted.

And it has to be so because the true definition of life is

relationship. And the cheapest of all,

relationship is friendship. Take relationship out of life.

What is left? You will just discover that life

will be so boring. Loneliness with SO make you get

fed up about life and it's not going to be something you want

to continue with. So the true definition of life

is relationship. Then even faith, our faith in

Christ Jesus, our work with God. The true definition of it is

relationship. So everything about the fake

life is relationship. The the royal law is about love

God have a perfect smooth cordial relationship with your

maker. And then the second is like it.

Love your neighbor as yourself. All of this is about

relationship, so the true definition of life and of faith

is what relationship and the achievements of relationship is

friendship. So I won't be surprised that we

have to stay this long dealing with the topic and except we

take the liberty of the Holy Spirit to quit the topic, that

will still be more and more issues to deal with.

So without be labouring the matter, you will discover that

we have made it very clear in our previous studies that

friendship is the highest form of interpersonal relationship.

I said that over and over again and by now you, your spirit

should have agreed with it and buy into it that the cheapest of

all form of relationship or the highest form of interpersonal

relationship is friendship. And so it is not enough to be a

busy servant. Last week we parallel the

service level of relationship with the friendship level of

relationship. And so it's not enough to be a

busy servant which was aspire to attain the status of a faithful

friend in our work with God. Now walk with God.

We should do our best to attain the status of a faithful friend

in our work with God. I will study the scripture and

we discover that only few people rose to that height.

May grace be given to us to rise to that height in the name of

Jesus. So service level relationship

where you are valuable to be used by God, it's not the

ultimate that is available in our work with Christ, the

service level of relationship. It's not the ultimate level of

relationship that is available in our work with Christ.

We should upgrade in our work with Christ to that friendship

level of relationship. So, and that is going to be the

summary of the issues we have dealt with in this subject.

Now, what are we taking out of this subject that has taken us

13 weeks to look like? OK, if you don't come to that

level whereby you aspire to outgrow the service level and

come up to the friendship level, then you have not profited,

profited enough from the topic. So attaining friendship level

relationship that we are now talking about cannot happen

spontaneously. We said that repeatedly.

It cannot happen spontaneously. If you look at it spiritually,

you look at it practically, you will discover that friendship

level relationship does not follow cultural lineage.

We said a lot about that last week.

We mentioned that it's an institution born out of well

established relationship, well established relationship such

that is characterized by faithfulness and loyalty.

You know it was at a period of evaluation after a long period

of interpersonal relationship of being disciples under the Lord

Jesus Christ that you now look at the disciple in Gospel come

to Saint John chapter 15, verse 15.

John 15:15

Henceforth I no longer regard you as servant.

Now you are my friend because you have known as you ought to

know, you have learned as you ought to learn, and you have

demonstrated integrity in relationship to be brought into

the level of becoming my confidence.

And that was the reason that led me to especially further on that

same issue last week, that apostleship status is easier

attained than friendship status. The word apostles means one that

is sent, one that is given assignments.

Hello. So to be called, to be sent, to

be given an assignment OK is at the discretion of God.

There is not much OK you do to impress God, to give you

assignment, to send you an error, but there's a level of

responsibility maturity that you must demonstrate before you can

assume the friendship level. Am I talking to somebody so they

are positive status is easier at 10 and that was why they didn't

stay too long with him before I call some of them, OK, just like

somebody doing a short time intensive training, looking for

a new recruit and then you assign assignment.

That was what he did with them when he decided them as opposed

to in March Chapter 6. Am I talking to somebody?

But they have to stay long enough with him gaining maturity

along the line, demonstrating their cordiality and

faithfulness as you know, establishing themselves in

integrity. And I said now you people can

perfectly associate with me, I will not bring reproach to my

name and I'll call you friends. So the apostleship status is CCI

attain that the friendship status it was not long that

disciple came to Jesus that it designated them apostles because

of what apostleship is service based.

Apostleship is a service based relationship and I use the word

apostleship to cover all segments, all aspects of

Christian service can be a pastor be an evangelist what OK,

so so that is the sense which I am using the word apostleship.

So it's easier attained because it is service based.

It is service based, so once you are available it may suffice to

make you an apostle. Once you are available, that may

survive to make you an apostle. However, you will require

proving that reliability to become a friend.

Proving reliability to become a friend in in the Scripture we

are in asset I no longer call you servants.

You are now my apostle. You will discover that it

followed a period of long time staying with Jesus, taking up

responsibility and delivering excellent results.

So availability. It's enough to make you an

apostle, but you will require proof of reliability to become a

friend. So if you are available, you

must be equally reliable. A lot of people are available,

but they are not reliable. So if you are available, you

must be equally reliable. So Jesus waited until it was at

the tail end of his ministry before he designated them as

friends. But the journey was not too far

into the ministry when he decided them as apostles.

But he waited until almost the tail end of his ministry before

he designated them as friends. We still put the study further

on how the largest of Christ structure their faith progress

before you eventually qualify them for the friendship ranking.

You will notice from that John chapter 15, if we take the

John 15 · chapter mention

reading from verse 9, that the journey started as a journey of

mutual love. It's a journey of mutual love,

but it didn't stop at just love alone.

So in other words, love is needed to sustain a

relationship, but love alone cannot nourish law and cannot

nourish relationship to its deepest level.

Are we following me? We're still probing into the

Jesus Christ model of friendship, whereby it's not

just about or something kind of friendship.

We are colleagues to colleague age group to age group is easily

warm up to each other as friends, but we are talking

about a relationship whereby even the one that is up there is

comfortable with your sense of responsibility as to make you a

friend. That was why the Lord Jesus

Christ, you know study his disciple, how they accepted his

training, how they demonstrates I sense of responsibility and

reliability. And then I said now you are my

friend. But we are probing further to

see how they progress from one level to the other before they

attend that level. And the first stage in the

journey of your relationship that we graduate into friendship

is love. And that should not be difficult

for you to understand if the definition of life and of our

faith work with God is relationship.

OK? What kind of relationship?

Relationship that is born out of love.

So the journey we always start as a journey of mutual love.

And we saw that in the relationship between Jesus and

his disciple. But before it graduated to the

friendship level, OK, it's so clear that it was not just love

alone. So love is needed to sustain a

relationship but love alone cannot nourish a relationship to

a deepest level. OK.

So even among couples, OK, when they start to have issues and

they cannot resolve the issue, you will discover that the

either the man or the man will say I still love her, I still

love him. The love is there but that the

love is is almost becoming a place in handling the issues

that are coming up and creating problem.

Am I talking to somebody? So you want to nourish a

relationship to its deepest level.

You will need love, but you are going to need love.

Plus cross back on to Saint John chapter 15 from verse 9.

John 15 · chapter mention

As the Father had loved me, I said everything about the faith

work in this Kingdom is about relationship, a relationship

that is love this as the Father had loved me, so as I love you

continue here in my love and what we think that would be all

to our relationship with God. Love God and hence it there but

first time if you keep my commandment, you shall abide in

my love. So you can't be flouting God's

commandment and remain in His love.

You can't continue doing the things that displace the person

you love. OK And you think they love OK.

We satisfy its obligation in the relationship.

Am I talking to somebody? If you keep my commandment, ye

shall abide in my love. So what will help your love to

produce the desired result? The design result is the keeping

of commandment. Even as I have kept my Father's

commandment and abide in His love, He said as the Father had

loved me, I didn't just say because the Father loved me, I

can leave it there or start to misbehave.

I played my part. This is Jesus talking here.

He played His part and He played it well.

And what was the part that he played?

He ensure that he stayed in the Father's commandment.

That's why I'm worried about the modern day approach to the

preaching of the message of grace, whereby you give people

the liberty to misbehave. And he said grace, cover it and

abide in His law. These things have I spoken unto

you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be

full. So these are the thing you enjoy

when the relationship is cordial, when the relationship

is honourable, when the love of God is not abused, when the love

of God is supported by obey the commandment of God so that love

can be sustained and relationship remain perfect.

This is my commandment that you love one another.

Everything about life is relationship, a relationship

that is love based. So Jesus has talked about the

one between him and his Father. You now talk about the one that

should occur between US and Him. Then he progressed to the one

that should also occur between US and our fellow man.

This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have love

you. Greater love had no man than

this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Now verse 14 is very instructive.

It explain all that I've been struggling to analyse.

Ye are my friends. Friendship is conditional.

Hello, now we can talk about unconditional love.

We will always have to talk about conditional friendship.

Am I talking to somebody talking about law you can come to the

nowhere. We're talking about

unconditional love, but you can't talk about unconditional

friendship. Jesus, Jesus, here in verse 47,

ye are my friends If you do whatsoever I command you.

So the moment you start to do against the things he commanded

you, them friendship hands. Sorry.

So friendship is a responsibility.

Friendship does not allow for carelessness.

Friendship does not allow for taking your friend for granted.

Irresponsibility to ensure that you play your part.

Irresponsibility to ensure that you are not the one doing the

things that displaces your friend.

Yeah, my friend, if you do whatsoever I command you.

So just love, which has been well oversized from verse 9 to

13, was not enough to make the disciple his friend.

So the other serious condition that qualified them to be

regarded as bonifed friend of Jesus was that they were obeying

His commandment. Then verse 15.

Henceforth, now that you have fulfilled the condition for

friendship, I call you not servants.

For the servant knew it not what is not doing.

But I'll call you friends. For all things that I have heard

of my Father, I have made known unto you.

So in spite of the fact that they remain disciples, OK, Jesus

raised the bar of his respect for them that He not

accommodated them into a circle whereby he decided them friend.

So essentially we're saying in Jesus mode of discipleship about

friendship, it is allowed that friendship can occur not only

horizontally, it can also occur vertically whereby people of

different social gradients can still maintain a cordial level

of relationship. And to attain this vertical

dimension of friendship level of interpersonal relationship, the

relationship is not going to be defined by just love.

That is what the scripture I just especially on is making us

to realize that when we are going to operate in the

practical dimension of friendship, the relationship is

not just going to be defined by love, It will, in addition to

love, be defined by discipline and maturity.

What do I call it? Discipline and maturity.

Discipline and maturities. So the disciples, as we

mentioned earlier, were not regarded as friends by Jesus

right from the onset. He forced groomed them.

Then he watched them grill onto the status of that nobility

called friendship. So in friendship, love is

fundamental but it is not a stand alone factor that

determines friendship. It's fundamental but you cannot

stand alone. So in friendship, love must be

supportive to discipline and vice versa.

Discipline must accompany love. Do you understand?

Discipline was what accompany love.

In that case, not everybody can be your friend.

If you understand the concept of friendship in the light of what

Jesus was saying to his disciples, you are my friend if

you keep my commandment. It means not everybody can be

your friend. So your friend must be people

that have, by commitment to common discipline, aligned with

your core values. The reason they were

accommodated into friendship with Jesus was because over time

they have aligned with Jesus core value.

They have aligned with the standard by which Jesus was

living his life and operating his ministry.

So you are already deceiving yourself if you keep around you

people who don't share the same core value with you so freshy

that you claim to have when you have not defined your core value

is a mockery of the concept of for friendship.

When you have not defined your core value and you say it's my

friend, maybe for lack of appropriate nomenclature to

define other kind of contacts that we have here.

And there's a reason you call some relationship friendship.

We are not friendship in the real sense of the definition of

friendship as espoused by the Lord Jesus Christ in his

relationship with his disciples. So any friendship that you are

involved in and it has to do with people that don't share

your core value or where you yourself have not divide your

core value is a mockery of the true concepts of friendship.

Such a friendship that you engage in when you have not

divide your core value. We either end gradually or

appropriately. It will dissolve with time to

dissolve with time. You are just wasting your time.

You get to a point cover that you got a time.

You will discover that if you keep on like that, OK, you will

not end up in the right destination.

Am I talking to somebody? Am I talking to somebody?

Father is a death. I pray that your people we come

to that depth so that they can grow better in you in the name

of Jesus. So when you keep company of

friendship with people that don't share your core value, you

are into a mockery of the concept of friendship.

Or when even yourself, you are yet to divide your core value

and you say you are into friendship is a mockery of the

concept of friendship. Because such a friendship

naturally, naturally it will gradually dissolve with time,

and sometimes it may happen abruptly.

So you will discover that with time as you become more mature,

as you become more disciplined, you will migrate out of

friendship that are not based on discipline.

Hello, everything we discussed is about green.

But this simply assessing am I talking to somebody?

Every time there is no any adapting we discuss other than

we can gown where there are more issues OK of destinies to be

discussed am I talking to somebody?

So you discover that with time, as you become more mature,

become more disciplined, either nature or realities of life will

make you or force you to graduate out of freshy that are

not based on discipline. So it takes maturity to walk

away from unprofitable relationship.

For you to walk away from unprofitable relationship, it

will take maturity. So.

So when you see people engaging in unprofitable relationship,

what they lack is maturity. By that maturity setting, you

will not preach it to them. Am I talking to somebody?

Oh, preaching to them. So maturity is also required to

consolidate a profitable relationship into friendship.

So the value you place on people OK will be determined by

maturity. So maturity is required to

consolidate a profitable relationship into friendship is

the reason you grow to a degree and that's all realization.

Come on you OK and your uncle that every time you meet.

How is your study? What was your last grade?

You know, when you were not mature, uncle is coming, you

dodge because we ask about your school grade and that's a

profitable relationship for you. But when you are not mature, you

run away from that uncle. Am I talking to somebody?

But as maturity set in, OK, you will not discover that that is

kind of relationship. You must consolidate because

it's a profitable 1. You will not discover that that

uncle you hate so much because you will always query your

academic performance. Now become the one you love

most. You know, I appreciate that

person. So it takes maturity to

appreciate good people. It takes what's maturity to

appreciate good people? Actually those that are showing

serious concern, genuine concern about your destiny.

So growth is a factor that determines the longevity or

expiry date of friendship. Growth, growth.

Growth is a factor that determines either the longevity

or the expiry date of a friendship.

Even a marriage union where only one partner is growing is an

endangered home. Where only one partner is

growing. OK, Such a relationship is an

endangered relationship. So with time, as you mature, are

you embrace the various disciplines that growth demands.

You know that growth demand discipline growth it demands

what discipline? The measure to which we increase

in discipline OK is the standard by which your growth can be

accurately measured. So as you embrace the demands of

growth, which I call discipline, you will discover that it is not

everybody that you love that can be your friend.

Did you hear that the Father loved me?

I love the Father, the love did not fire, the love is still

there. That is Jesus talking, are we

together? He said the way the Father love

me, I have love you the love continue.

You know I said love other people also like yourself.

Are you with me? But people you love, the only

condition upon which they can be called your friend is that you

share Common Core value. If you obey my commandment, then

you are my friend. So not everybody that Jesus

love, OK, Is Jesus friend in the same manner, not everybody you

love to be your friend. Am I talking to somebody?

So with time, as you mature and you embrace the various

disciplines that grow demands, you will discover that it is not

everybody that you love that can be your friend.

So there are great people that will reject your companionship.

I begin to worry, what is the problem with me?

They reject your companionship not because they hate you, but

because you are not going to match their standard of

discipline. So even in the workplace

setting, are you with me? You just discovered that no

matter what you do, even in the way and manner you serve, you

just discovered that this boss is not looking your direction.

And then those who are cooked to put the label of spirituality on

everything we say, it is so quiet.

Kalonjae or secular way, oh nilu or secular way.

You have to upgrade in discipline, you have to upgrade

in maturity. And as you upgrade in maturity,

you will discover that you will be honour and you are going to

be welcome into the circle of nobility.

Am I talking to somebody? So there are great people that

will reject your companionship not because they hate you, but

because you are not growing to match their standard of

discipline. If discipline is a cause a guni

give us a good of India, a goody of India, Renee.

AM I talking to somebody?

So indiscipline is a curse. It's a plague that any

responsible person should avoid. It's a plague.

If you are a disciplined person, your love will be available for

everyone, but your friendship will be reserved for special

people that embraced your type of disciplined lifestyle.

Are you learning something? If you are a disciplined person,

your love will be available for everywhere, but your friendship

will be reserved for special people that embrace your type of

disciplined lifestyle. So without your guru pastor,

your guru are you with me? You want to go to embrace his

discipline lifestyle? OK Uburu, you want to go?

I say it again, if you are a discipline person, your love

will be available for everywhere or your friendship with the

reserve for special people that embrace your type of discipline

lifestyle. These disciples that Jesus said

I no longer call you servant, you are my friend.

They are not the only set of people in Jesus circle.

The multitudes are there, the five hundreds are there, the 72

are there, but you look at the select group, I no longer call

you servant, I call you my friend.

Then you also said to them, don't take this matter for

granted. You liberty to remain as my

friend. The conditionality upon you wish

you would repair as my friend is if you do my commandment, if you

stay within the bracket of my type of discipline lifestyle.

That's what Jesus was saying essentially, am I talking to

somebody? This is so because discipline is

needed to correct what is wrong. But which love may condo?

Love can be so permissive. That's why the scripture was

very clear about it. To the degree that things that

need to be corrected, you will see love condoning it.

And that's why some children are over pampered.

So disciplines need them to correct what is wrong, but which

love may condemn or condone. So love may accept without

censor, but friendship with censor.

Love may accommodate without query.

Hello, but friendship will prove so Discipline we are sad.

Discipline we insist on standard.

I draw the curtain by saying friendship that accommodate in

discipline is not the model. Let us by Jesus to emulate.

The standard that Jesus left us to emulate is found in John

1514. Ye are my friends.

If ye do whatsoever I command you receive grace to stay in the

love of God, to graduate into friendship with God by living or

embracing is discipline kind of lifestyle in the name of Jesus,

God bless you. Don't be left in the dark.

Get proper understanding of life through the Word of God.

My people perish for lack of knowledge.

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direction. Remain placed as Reverend was

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