Obey in the Lord: Raising Children to Honor God - Eph 6:1-4

Good morning, and what a blessing it is to study God's Word with you today.

My name is Pastor Simon. Our mission here at Dillingham Moravian Church is to

make disciples of Christ through the study of God's Word as we trust in Christ together.

When I was growing up, my dad and I had a rocky relationship.

Being human, my dad was not perfect, and he had a few issues that certainly

made it harder for me to obey him at times.

But one thing that I remember clearly was that my dad used to teach me that

fathers and mothers are representatives of God over their children,

and as such, children are to obey their parents.

Unfortunately, I did not listen, nor did I understand this truth,

until I started having children of my own. But he was right.

My dad died a couple years ago, and I now wish that I would have obeyed him

because in doing so, I would have been obeying God and God would have blessed my paths.

As a teenager and a young man, I made many bad choices that had disastrous effects.

Thankfully, God rescued me from God's wrath and is transforming me in the Holy Spirit.

He graciously united me to Abigail in marriage and is directing Abigail and I in our family's life.

I'm so thankful for that, praise the Lord.

But as I look back, one of the major changes that I wish I would have made was

to joyfully obey my dad in obedience to God.

I'm sharing a little bit of my testimony with you to impress upon us that God

has designed in the structure that He has ordered in God's Word,

the covenant marriage, to be the showcase of the love of Christ for His church.

A huge part of the fruit or outflow of the godly marriage is raising godly children.

According to the ways of God.

Yet as Christians, when we trust in God together as a family and order our lives

according to God's ways.

Relationally, at the very least, life is genuinely better and filled with the

joy of fulfilling God's purpose for the family in this world,

to the glory of God. Let's pray.

Oh, Heavenly Father, we are so grateful that we get this opportunity to be able

to hear from you, to be taught by you. Teach us, O Lord.

Give us your spiritual wisdom and understanding so that we can hear you and

believe you and trust you.

Lord, may you take your word today and grow it in our minds and our hearts so

that we can go out and live according to the way that you are teaching us to do so.

In your precious and most wonderful name, Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.

Turn with me this morning to Ephesians 6, verse 1-4.

Ephesians 6:1–4

Ephesians 6, verse 1-4, where Paul wrote, Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right.

Ephesians 6:1–4

Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment,

with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long in the land.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline

and instruction of the Lord.

Previously, in Ephesians 5, God taught us through Paul that wives are to be

subject to or to rank under their husbands as to the Lord.

Secondly, husbands must love their wives just as Christ has loved His bride, the church.

Moreover, Christ-loving husbands must love their wives by taking their focus

off of themselves and make God their focus and treasure, and then in God,

focus their love upon their wives.

Another key truth to remember is that the Christian husband and wife are now

one body, And their oneness is a showcase of the oneness of Christ and His bride, the church.

And lastly, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church,

and wives are to respect their husbands.

In today's passage, there are three main truths that I want to bring to your attention.

The first truth is that it is right for children to obey their parents in the Lord.

Here in Alaska, we travel a lot. We've traveled to and from our villages to Anchorage.

And if our destination is farther, we then take an airline out of Anchorage

to wherever we're headed.

But at every step from the larger bush hubs to Anchorage and then from Anchorage

on, we have to go through TSA.

The Travel Security Administration checks our identities, our luggage,

and our persons in order to make sure that we are who we say we are.

And we're not carrying dangerous items or potential weapons on board the plane.

Now, when we go through TSA, is it wise to disobey or to mouth off to TSA agents?

No, it's not a good idea, right? Because what will happen?

We'll get arrested and we'll definitely miss our flights.

My point is, similar to TSA being agents of the government, so also parents

are agents representing God to their children in the love of Christ.

Paul began this section in Ephesians 6, verse 1, Children, obey your parents

Ephesians 6:1

in the Lord, for this is right.

As we begin looking at Paul's instruction to children and fathers,

I want you to see that Paul's previous section, the husband and wives, are not in isolation.

It's critical to understand that there is an order to Paul's teaching in Ephesians 5.

Paul was communicating in Ephesians 5 to first the local Ephesian church as

a whole, then the husband and wife, and then to the children,

and lastly to the slave in the Ephesian household.

I want you to also notice that the only relationship that Paul likened to the

relationship of Christ and the church is the covenant marriage under God.

And therefore, as we look at children and fathers today, we must understand

that from God's perspective, children obviously come from their parents,

the husband and wife unit.

It is from out of the godly marriage that godly children are raised.

And in Ephesians chapter 1, Paul commanded that children were to obey their parents in the Lord.

Ephesians 1 · chapter mention

You see, children are not just to obey their parents because they must.

Rather, they are to do so in the Lord.

Again, it is within the covenant relationship of ranking from God to the parents

and then to the children.

And as the husband and wife obey the Lord and what they've been called to do,

so also children are commanded, not by the parents, but by God,

to obey their mother and father as they would the Lord.

Parents are God's representatives or agents over their children.

One commentator wrote, The obedience of Christian children are to their parents

as all of a piece with their submission to Christ.

The additional moving phrase in the Lord is virtually synonymous with as to the Lord or as to Christ.

And indicates that their obedience is part of their Christian discipleship.

It is not rendered simply because of their parents' greater authority or status.

Paul in Colossians 3, verse 20 wrote, Children, obey your parents in all things,

Colossians 3:20

for this is pleasing to the Lord.

Back in Ephesians 6, verse 1, Paul instructed children in the standard that

Ephesians 6:1

children are to operate under.

Paul wrote, Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is what? Right.

Why is it so important that Paul said that it is right that children obey their parents and the Lord?

Because it is not only the children's parents that they are obeying,

but God Himself. It is God's right standard they are obeying, not a human mandate.

Hosea and Hosea 14.9 wrote about the same concept.

Whoever is wise, let him discern these things. Whoever is discerning, let them know.

For the ways of Yahweh, for the Lord, are right, and the righteous will walk

in them, but the transgressors will stumble in them.

You see, God has a right standard for His people to live by,

and this includes the family, and in this case, for children as well.

This standard is based on God's character as the only one who is completely

right, and thus all His commands and ways are right.

The truth that we are to learn from this verse is that children are to obey

their parents in the Lord, for this is right.

The question is, how do we apply this truth?

There are two ways that I can see that we can apply this verse to us.

The first application is for parents to understand that their children are to

obey them in the Lord, and this command is right.

When growing up, there was a whole movement of parents and psychologists that

were teaching that parents were not to make their children obey them or discipline

their children when their children had gone astray.

I say this because God had designed the family to run in a specific way,

and this way it is good. It is right. It is right.

The family living according to God's standards will make this family a shining

beacon of the loving goodness and mercy of Christ in this dark world.

The second way that we can apply this verse is, of course, to those who are

listening, who are children.

It's not easy being a child. Being told what to do all the time is not fun,

especially when you're dealing with various stages of physical development.

Trust me, I remember what it was like being a kid.

It felt like being an emotional rollercoaster and no one understands you.

Often may feel like your parents may lose patience with you too much and they

do not love you or what they're asking of you is not fair.

Maybe they do lose patience or are unfair at times. They are human and make mistakes.

However, I want to tell you that the parents who do not love their children are few.

Your parents love you. I will include in those the adoptive parents and guardians.

And if you have Christ-trusting parents, they are trying to raise you to be

a Christ-trusting person who lives by faith in Christ amongst this challenging

and increasingly aggressive culture that we live in.

Please try to understand the sheer amount of work and pressures and challenges

that your parents carry and have to juggle as they parent you.

Even with their faults, and they do have faults, they are trying to raise you

to be parents who will in turn raise your children according to the Lord for God's glory.

They want to train you so that you can get jobs, so that you and any possible

family you might have will not be homeless, and you will have food to eat.

They're trying to help you navigate in the world so you can live productively

and as mature Christians.

They're doing this because they love you, and most of all, because God loves you.

And what I say to all our children is to obey your parents because God is pleased

when you do, and He will work on your behalf, and He will bless you and grow you as a result.

So far, we've been taught by God through Paul that children are to obey their parents in the Lord.

The question is, how is a child able to obey their parents?

One essential truth that will

help children obey their parents is by honoring your father and mother.

According to MSN News, at an old mining site in Esther, Alaska,

Rod Blakestack cracked open a shiny rock with his pick. He found quartz,

a sign that the rock may contain gold.

But Blake Stack, a veteran gold hunter, tossed the rock aside.

He and his team of geologists were searching for something even more sought after, antimony.

Antimony is an obscure element widely used in the defense industry that is now

at the center of the bitter U.S.-China trade fight.

The company acquired mineral leases around Fairbanks, guided by an old geological

bulletins indicating the presence of antimony at gold mines.

At the Mohawk Mine, a disused site that still features a crumbling wooden gold-processing mill,

Blake's dad team followed century-old collapsed mining tunnels that snaked through

the soil, signs that decades ago miners found seams of gold that might contain antimony.

They looked for hardy alder trees, which indicate an area that had been dug

up for mining years ago. And when they find a promising area,

they dig new trenches and collect samples.

My point with using this article is that the U.S. is now frantically searching for antimony on the U.S.

Soil so to reduce our dependence upon China.

Why? Because it has such high value in the building of weapons.

So high, in fact, that it's valued more than gold.

And this concept of valuing something or someone highly is what Paul was getting

at in Ephesians 6, verse 2-3.

Ephesians 6:2–3

Honor your father and your mother, which is the first commandment with a promise,

so that it may be well with you and that you may live long in the land.

In verses 2-3, Paul quoted from the fifth commandment in Exodus 20,

Exodus 20:12

verse 12, in Deuteronomy 5, verse 16.

Deuteronomy 5:16

And he put them together. The Lord taught.

In Exodus 20, verse 12, honor your father and your mother that your days may

Exodus 20:12

be prolonged to the land which Yahweh your God gives you.

In Deuteronomy 5, verse 16, God commanded, honor your father and your mother

Deuteronomy 5:16

as Yahweh your God has commanded you that your days may be prolonged and that

it may go well with you on the land which Yahweh your God gives you.

There are two aspects of God's command that I want you to notice.

The first aspect is that children are commanded by the Lord to honor their father and mother.

The word is to show high regard for, to honor, to revere.

The word to honor is a value word, meaning to see someone as they have high value.

This is one of the ways that for children to be able to obey their parents is

by viewing their parents as those with high value.

And yes, one of the challenges in our present society is that children and society

in general are being taught through social media and through movies and televisions

and books that it's all right not to value our parents.

And granted, there are some parents who need to quit acting like children themselves

and get their act together.

I get it. There's a lot of parents, especially fathers, that are not being good parents.

Now, I'm also not saying that children are to obey their parents in doing evil

or letting evil things being done to them.

We do live in a country where there is help if we want it.

Please tell an adult about what is going on if something is.

Yet God has given us a crucial aid in helping us and God-honoring endeavor of obeying our parents.

If we view our parents' position of being worthy of honor and value regardless

of our parents' behavior, then we will obey them in that which is keeping with

what God's Word teaches.

Secondly, the command to honor father and mother comes with promises.

This is another great help in obeying our parents as part of our worship to the Lord.

There are two ways that this promise or promises are viewed.

The first perspective that Bible scholars view this promise as is that it refers

to the covenant relationship with God's people, Israel,

meaning that as Israelite children corporately obey their parents,

then Israel's stay in the land of Israel would be lengthened.

And as God and Jesus Christ's blood enacted the new covenant,

has allowed Gentile believers in Christ to be brought into the nation of Israel in the church.

And thus, this promise would be more for Christian children as part of the church. This is corporate.

The second way that this passage is viewed is more on the individual basis.

As Israel children obeyed their parents, they would be personally blessed by

God and live long in the land of Israel as they are a part of God's people.

Translated under the New Covenant, Christ, Christian children,

when they obey their parents, they will be blessed by God and generally life will go well for them.

As another commentator explained, obedient sons and daughters are assured that

it will go well with them and they will enjoy long life on earth, wherever they may live.

The last main truth I want to show you from this passage is that fathers are

to bring their children up in the Lord without provocation.

Paul concluded this section in Ephesians 6, verse 4.

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline

and instruction of the Lord.

I know it is given that if children obey their parents, then they will not exasperate their parents.

But it would have been helpful if Paul had written that here as well.

Although Paul was addressing fathers in this verse, this principle can be applied

to both fathers and mothers, especially the exasperation part.

It's valuable for us to understand that in the Roman world, the husband and

father had absolute control over their wives and children, and whatever the

father did to his children, he was not punishable by law.

Savage beating of children were not uncommon.

And what God through Paul taught was radical in that culture.

Paul taught that the fathers were not to provoke or exasperate their children to anger.

The word that Paul used for provoke or exasperate literally meant to make angry.

Now, what Paul wasn't teaching was that a parent was to stop all forms of physical

discipline, like spanking.

One of the best explanations of Paul's command that I have heard is,

effectively, the apostle was ruling out excessively severe discipline,

unreasonably harsh demands, abuse of authority, arbitrariness,

unfairness, constant nagging and condemnation, subjecting a child to humiliation,

all forms of gross insensitivity to a child's needs and sensibilities.

Behind this curbing of a father's authority is the clear recognition that children,

while they're expected to obey their parents and the Lord, are persons in their

own right who are not to be manipulated, exploited, or crushed.

Rather than treating children brutally, Christ-trusting fathers are to focus

on bringing up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

The word that Paul used for discipline meant upbringing or education.

The whole training and education of children, both the cultivation of mind and

morals, includes commands, admonitions, reproof, and punishment.

Instruction referred to counsel about avoidance or cessation of an improper course of conduct.

I want you to see that the whole training and education of children's minds

and morals and the admonition about what behaviors and habits to avoid or stop

are prefaced by in the Lord.

And this is essential because it means that the child's education and instruction

is all taught in the Lord.

Mean that every aspect of children's upbringing and abominations must be done

within what the Lord deems right according to His Word and for the Lord's purposes.

Fathers are to teach their children to abide in Christ and how to pray and read

and learn Scripture for themselves.

Whatever is implied in this concept of in the Lord is prayer for their children

and the father's example of how to live to their children.

I also want to point out that the father is not responsible for every aspect

of training children in the Lord.

And I say this because mothers definitely have a part to play in their life

training in the Lord as well.

Fathers, while they're responsible to train their children up in the Lord,

they're also responsible for overseeing the training of their children and leading

their household in the ways of the Lord.

As Joshua proclaimed, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

It is crucial that as fathers, and we can include mothers in here as well,

that we make sure that we understand the right position that we have been placed in over our children.

Our authority as parents does not come from our own desire to have our own way

in the household or to exert our own authority.

Rather, we as parents must realize that our authority comes directly from God

Himself for God's good and right purposes to be accomplished and in God's will

for the good of the whole family.

We are responsible to God.

God wants our children to be saved in Christ and to be loved and discipled in

the faith of Christ so that when our children leave the home,

they are fully trained to be able to disciple people for Christ anywhere in

whatever job or role that God desires for them.

And if God wills them to get married and start their own families,

then they will have the training and support to lovingly raise up their children

to know and love the Lord so that their children in turn can go out and make

disciples for Jesus Christ of others and someday their own kids.

It's so essential that we as parents understand that raising children of the Lord is not about us,

but about the will of God being enacted through our lives and our children's

lives so that Christ's church may grow to the glory of God.

So what then has God taught us in this passage?

First off, the children are to obey their parents in the Lord,

for this is according to God's standards.

Secondly, children are also to show high regard for their mother and father

and value them so that they will be blessed by God and generally life will go well with them.

And lastly, Christ-trusting fathers are to focus on bringing up their children

in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

The parent-child relationship is the outworking and fruit of the wonderful husband-and-wife

relationship that shows the love of Christ to His church.

As we, as Christ-believing parents, trust Christ and raise our children in the

love and teaching of Christ, the cycle of the magnificent love of Christ continues on.

Children are to be raised to be effective disciple-making lovers of Christ.

More people are to be saved and discipled through our children and our children and so on.

What a beautiful picture of Christ's love for His people that never stops.

For us as parents in Christ, I urge us to continue trusting Christ and raise

our children in the love and training of the Lord.

For you as children living under your parents' household, you are the future of the church.

Trust in Christ as your Lord. Obey God and obey and honor your parents.

And the promise is that God will give you a meaningful and productive life for

the Lord, full of joy of Christ. Let's pray.

Heavenly Father, we thank you for the truth of your word.

And Lord, we pray, we pray for our children, our future, that you would bless

them, that they would come to know Jesus Christ as their only Lord and Savior,

and that they would live by his ways and his truths.

Lord, I pray for myself and all parents who are listening, that you would work

in them, work in our family as well, and grow our children.

Help us to be able to

disciple and train and love and

nourish and cherish them as you

do the same to us help us

oh lord we can't do this on our own we need you we need your strength we need

your love we need your power thank you lord use us lord and i pray that you

will grow your church through the Christ-believing families of this generation,

but also the generations to come.

In your precious Son's name, Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.

I'll leave you with this blessing from Romans 15, verse 13.

Romans 15:13

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,

so that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope. Amen.

Have a wonderful Sunday. May the Lord bless you all.