The Wounded Wallet | Ps Melanie Politanski

I'm bringing a word this morning in the series that we have been

doing as a church under the incredible Faith, Love and Hope

season we've been exploring as a church God, money and me and who

who has been who's picked up that resource by Paul Dejong in

the last number of weeks. Phenomenal, phenomenal.

It's really going to do some beautiful things.

It's going to undo some things that maybe you need undoing and

rebuild some things. And this is not just financial.

As I've walked through listening to this book, as I've listened

to this book, I have noticed that this topic of money is

attached to our heart. Has anybody else discovered

this? It is not separate to us.

It is absolutely attached to our heart.

And so it is such a beautiful and sacred thing to do to walk

through the Word of God and understand what He says about

money over the in the last couple of weeks, you may have

discovered from the incredible words that have come out from

Pastor Gray and Pastor Rach last week, what a word last week.

Wow, phenomenal. You will have discovered that

God has a lot to say about money in His Word.

He lists things about how we are to steward what He has provided

us thousands more times than when he's what he speaks about

his love, his grace and faith. This is huge.

This means for you and I, we have a lot from God's word that

we need to learn. If he's got a lot to say about

it, we've got a lot to learn about it.

And so in an unusual my part of the series that I'm going to

bring today or unpack today, I have titled The Wounded Wallet

The Wounded Wallet. Why?

Because I truly believe that God has to undo some things in us

before He begins to build some things in us.

He's so faithful. For those of you who have

accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you'll know this.

He's so faithful and He's so good that He doesn't just take

the broken mess that you and I are or were, and go from here.

I can do something with this life.

No, He says I can redeem and I can restore and I can heal and I

can show you the threat of grace because God promises you and I

that He's been with us always, that He's never left us, never

forsaken us. That means that when we didn't

know Him, He knew us and He was near to us, we just weren't

aware or wouldn't acknowledge His nearness.

Which means for you and I, there's been a threat of grace.

There is in each of our stories all along.

That as we undo so gently with the Holy Spirit some of the

wounds we have. And so we're going to look at

this in this area today, the wounds that we have.

We see the threat of grace that God has been weaving for all our

lives because he has a plan and a purpose for each and every one

of us. And that is not to harm us to,

but to give us a hope and a future.

So I want to preach a message this morning called the wounded

wallet. And before anybody panics, it's

not a message about budgeting and it's not going to tackle

your after pay balance. You got to do that one on your

own. All right, Although the Holy

Spirit this morning might speak to you about your Uber Eats

spending. You know, we have no Uber Eats

where we are. Graham and I's budget has just

so significantly changed it's ridiculous.

We are totally home cooked meals now.

But this message is deeper than dollars, all right, because many

people don't actually have a money problem.

I know so many of you disagreed with that statement, all right?

We have a wounded heart that money got attached to.

And until the wounds heal, the patterns continue to repeat.

So I want to ask you a really deeply honest question.

I'm going to ask each and everyone of you to shut your

eyes for just a moment. And I'm going to ask you to have

a think about this is what to do with my interns.

All right, have a think about just for 30 seconds, your first

memory of money. Was it fearful?

Did have conflict? Stressful?

Many of us as children have great memories of going to the

lolly store. Who's got the lolly store memory

right? Lolly store memory.

And when I was little, and I'm sure there are others here who

can beat this, which is awesome. And you can have those cafe

conversations after. But when I was little, I

remember that $0.05 used to get 20 lollies.

It was a little white bag that used to be screwed at the top

like this, and you could go up and you could get it.

And so to five find $0.05 on the road was a big deal as a child.

If you found $0.20, you were loaded.

You go one of the big bags. Does anybody have those sorts of

memories? Maybe you don't.

Maybe your early memories of money are actually around lack

or embarrassment or instability. When I was a child, when I was

in grade 2, my mum sent me to the school uniform lady.

Who has an experience with the school uniform lady?

We had a school uniform lady, right?

And this school uniform lady scared me.

She scared me so much that even if I didn't have to go to the

school uniform, little booth place in our school, if she was

walking down the hallway, I'd put my head down and I'd walk to

the side and cross to the other side.

I was so afraid of her because she used to walk around with a

ruler and she would get girls as you would walk past.

Some of you guys have this memory.

This is really normal for you. But when you'd walk past, she'd

say kneel and you had to get on the ground.

She'd measure your skirt versus like the ground and all the

girls skirts had to actually go on the ground.

And she would measure the boys socks because they had to come

right up to the kneecap. And so she would be feeling boys

kneecaps and measuring girls skirts.

And I was so afraid of her that I remember asking my mum with

the brand new dresses that we used to get at the beginning of

the year to let the hems down so that I didn't ever have to be

measured. So it's so ridiculous.

I've seen in school photos that my dress was like here I had a

couple of inches gap between the pulled up socks and the and the

dress in Townsville, which is just crazy.

But I have this memory of going to the school uniform lady when

I was in grade 2 and because I needed a new sports skirt, I'd

grown out of my sports skirt and it was now too short and I was

going to get measured. So my mum sent an envelope to

the school with me in year 2 and said go to the uniform shop lady

because she was open before and after school before school and

give it to her and say I need a new sports skirt now.

There wasn't mobile phones so she couldn't text ahead.

So in that era you would go to the uniform shop.

So I remember being petrified and I'd have to go and she was

going to measure me and she was going to give me a skirt that

was too big but I was afraid would fall down when I'd run on

sports days. But all the, all, all of those

fears aside, I went to the uniform shop and I remember

going to the uniform shop and saying to the to the uniform

shop lady, I'm here to buy a new sports skirt.

My mum has given me this money to pay for it and so she eyed me

off, didn't get a skirt out, opened the envelope and took out

a $50 note. Now I didn't know in year 2 what

that was. I didn't know the value of this

yet. But in grade 2 I'm quite young.

I graduated school as a 16 year old so I was really young.

And I have this vivid memory of the uniform shop lady saying to

a very young child, you stole this from your mum, didn't you?

And I remember standing there as a little girl going, no, my mum

gave it 'cause I need a new skirt.

She said I'm going to check, I'm going to call.

And she sent me out of the uniform shop and at the end of

the day my mum, who was a little bit like me, smaller in statue

but if you've met her just as fiery, walked in and had what, 2

with the uniform shop lady. And I remember this defining

moment as a 7 year old where I was clearly, in the eyes of

adults, would only possess a whole lot of finance if I had

stolen it. Do you know that that marked my

life for nearly 25 years and marked the way I did finance?

It was so significant, I struggled to have large finances

on me at any time for fear that someone would think I had stolen

it. It also spoke to myself worth on

that I wasn't worth or worthy to be carrying that level of

finance. Each and every one of us could

have these moments and there will be people here today, which

is why we're bringing a message like this who carry wounds

around finance now. It's so funny.

I could remember that when I was actually preparing and I wrote

that question, it was still the first memory I remember about

finance. And yet Fast forward a couple of

years later, at 12 years old, we used to hang out at the skate

park, which in Townsville was not actually a skate park done

by the community. It was actually held on the

Uniting Church property. There was a big half pipe at the

at the end of the car park of this church property.

And so all the kids in town used to go the half pipe and most of

us couldn't skate. So we would just slide down it

on our butts and split our shorts.

But it was really fun. So we, my dad would take us down

regularly. It was big car park.

We'd rollerblade because it was the 90s and we'd slide on this

half pipe. And I remember on this day there

was the, the shop, everybody knows the corner stores in that

era, right where you would get those lolly bags.

And I remember saying to my dad, after we go to the skate park,

can we go to the lolly shop? And I remember him saying to me,

I actually don't have any finance today, but you know

what, We're going to God's house.

You never know now. God's house wasn't open.

It was Saturday. We would just go to the skate

park attached to God's house. But I remember on this day I

heard the comment. I totally dismissed it.

I was 12 years old. My little brothers were on the

half pipe and I was balancing like all good kids.

You know, I'm using myself on the car park edges, right?

And I was walking and there was concrete on this side and grass

on this side and all of a sudden something shiny caught my eye.

And right there in the grass was the brand new $2.00 coins.

Not one but a a whole lot of coins.

I picked it up and I was like, and then I started to see

sparkles all the way through the grass.

And as I was walking along, I was getting more and more

excited. And I was like, Dad, Dad, look

in the House of God, as my dad said to me, but you never know

because we're going to the House of God.

Do you know, in the House of God we sit under the provision of

the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

Do you know I walked away with that day, $22.00 all in coins.

Somebody was skating in their, you know, pockets got emptied

and I found it. But it taught me something that

in the House of God there is supernatural provision and it's

not just for rescue, it's that this is the way our God

operates. My dad said to me when I showed

him because I was like, what do I do with this?

This is a lot of money. Do I need to hand it in to

somebody? Do I, what do I need to do with

this? And I remember my dad just

kneeling down and saying to me, Mel, don't ever be worried about

your finance. If you're busy about his work,

he'll look after you. And I want to say to you,

church, if you're busy about his work, if you're, if you are

walking out, what God has called you to do obediently, faithfully

being found trustworthy with what he's put in your hands.

God will provide according to his riches.

We're not subject to the world's economy when we come under his

economy. That's why I wanted to ask you,

what is your early memory? Because we all have the

opportunity to have this reframed.

Many adults are still making financial decisions today from

childhood wounds. Some people over overspend

because they're wounded. Some hoard because they're

wounded. Some avoid finances completely

because shame overwhelms them. Some strive endlessly because

their worth became connected to performance.

The reality is many people need healing before they need to make

a budget. Because your wallet often

reveals what your heart is carrying.

So I'm going to bring this out in 4 quick points this morning.

I want to unpack this because I pray this morning that there is

freedom found in this place. I can testify that God has

taken. Gray and I are on such a journey

in this area to see wholeness and healing take place that

today in our mid 40s, we are walking debt free.

That's unheard of. When I when I read that

scripture that says do not conform to the ways of the

world, I wonder what this looks like if we applied that not just

in behaviours but in our area of finances.

What does it look like to not conform to the ways of the

world, but instead be transformed by the renewing of

His Spirit .1 this morning? A wounded wallet is often a

wounded heart. Proverbs 423 says guard your

heart, for from it everything you do flows.

Everything flows from the heart, including your relationship with

money. Money is emotional.

If you doubt me in it, see how you feel or the difference

between when you open who's still got like a physical wallet

and it's not just your iPhone and you're tapping it, right?

Yeah. OK.

So the difference, the emotional difference to when you open that

thing and it's got nothing but store cards.

And I'm not talking the ones that get you anything.

I'm talking the loyalty points, right?

Right. When it's got nothing in there

or it's just got some silver coin in there to when you open

that up and there's a whole lot of greenback in there, right,

there's a different emotional response.

All right? Money is emotional.

That's why we buy things we can't afford, avoid opening

bills, panic over small expenses, obsess over financial

security, or we work until we burn out.

Or we feel shame around lack. Because money is rarely just

practical. Does anybody feel that it's

really just practical? It's deeply spiritual and very

emotional. Maybe growing up, money created

conflict in your home. Maybe bills created fear, debt

created anxiety, addiction created instability, gambling

destroyed trust, or poverty created shame.

Some of us inherited more than just eye colour.

We inherited fear or scarcity, which we've spoken into for the

last two weeks, or survival mode, and now as adults, we

react to money emotionally because our hearts were wounded

relationally. Hear me today.

This is really important. Your family history may explain

you, but it doesn't define you. Romans 12 says be transformed by

the renewing of your mind, meaning the cycle can break

chaos, fear, lack, debt, financial panic, shame.

Jesus heals hearts, not just habits.

All right, which brings me to point #2 wounded people build

golden calves. We're going to go to a passage

in the Bible, and it's found in Exodus 32.

I love this passage and what it communicates to you and I about

this and what happens when people are wounded and they've

got to walk forward with wealth, all right?

Wealth doesn't mean that you're rich just with money.

In Exodus 32, Israel has been delivered miraculously,

supernaturally, so significantly by God from Egypt.

All right, They've been delivered from slavery.

They had the sea parted for them.

They've walked across on dry land.

God has then fed them supernaturally.

I just think this is, does anybody else get wowed by these

stories in the Bible and you go, does anybody ever pray?

God, let us see this stuff again.

I'd totally wake up to Mana. Come on now.

Right? But then Moses goes up the

mountain into the presence of God and is delayed, Say delayed.

Beware of what you do with your finances when God tarries

according to your time in the waiting.

When there is delay, let me tell you what happens.

Suddenly the waiting exposes their wounds.

The golden calf that they create while Moses is up the mountain

was not birthed out of atheism. It was born from impatience.

They didn't stop wanting God, They stopped trusting in Him

while they were waiting. And instead of surrendering,

they built something. Here it is that they could

control. And isn't that what we still do

today? When life feels uncertain, when

God feels silent, when waiting feels uncomfortable, we start

building substitutes. We build hustle, control,

accumulation, comfort, image, status, endless striving because

wounded people often trust control more than surrender.

I'm going to repeat that and I'm just going to ask you, let that

settle in your spirit this morning.

Wounded people often trust control more than surrender.

Let me lovingly say this this morning though.

Sometimes the most spiritual looking people are actually

highly organised control freaks. Some of you don't have the gift

of administration. You have anxiety with a

spreadsheet. Come on.

But healing begins when trust becomes greater than control.

Here's here's the Third Point in this The gold was never the

problem. All right?

The Israelites made this golden calf out of gold.

The gold was not the issue. This is what wrecks me about

this particular story. The gold itself wasn't evil.

That gold came from Egypt. That gold was provision given to

the Israelites by Egypt as they exited.

That was ordained by God, right? God gave it to Israel as they

left, and later God tells them to use this same gold to build

the Tabernacle to house His presence.

Same gold, 2 altars, one that hosted his presence and the

other that replaced it. And suddenly you realise money

itself isn't evil. Provision isn't evil, influence

isn't evil, success isn't evil. The issue is, what is our heart

doing with the gold? Because wounded hearts can turn

gifts from God into substitutes for God very quickly.

Some people use money to feel safe, to feel powerful, to avoid

dependence, to numb pain, to prove worth, and to escape

insecurity. And we don't melt gold into

calves anymore. Well, not that I'm aware of, all

right? We melted into endless hustle,

emotional spending, status, addiction, comfort, self

protection, and success without surrender.

And some idols look really spiritual.

You can build ministry without intimacy.

You can build success without peace and wealth without trust

or productivity without God's presence.

But God never intended provision to replace his presence.

And so .4 this morning, it's for each and every one of us found

in this room. Or if you're listening to this

message online, Jesus wants to heal our money stories.

Is there anybody here has the faith to believe that Jesus

wants to heal? Some of us today are exhausted,

not because of money itself, but because of the fear attached to

it. Some of us panic every time a

bill arrives. Some of us avoid our finances

because shame overwhelms us. Some of us work constantly

because you're terrified of ever feeling powerless again.

Some of us are still reacting from wounds created 20 years

ago. But Jesus wants to heal the root

cause, not just manage the this is the symptom.

And I believe the Holy Spirit is saying today you do not need to

live in survival mode anymore. When I wrote that particular

line down, I, I saw a young lady, there's a young lady here

today and God just wants to say to you, you were never designed

to live in survival mode. You were never designed to live

in survival mode. You do not need to live in that

state any longer. You are not trapped in the story

that you have come from. I want to unpack this just a

little bit before the team comes through.

An incredible, incredible story in the Word of God.

It's a parable that Jesus tells about a prodigal son in Luke

1511 to 32. The prodigal son demands his

inheritance early. Can you hear it?

Why? Because wounded people often

want quick provision without healthy process.

He took the money. And if you've read the story,

you know he wasted it, and he wasted it quickly.

He wasted it recklessly. But the greatest loss in this

story is not the finances or the loss of it, it was the loss of

his identity. As this young man becomes aware

that he has nothing, when the money runs out, the friends

leave, the lifestyle leaves. This young man is left with

nothing and he finds himself working on a farm with pigs and

eating the pigs food. And this is what he says.

And I actually think this is one of the most heartbreaking lines

in the word of God. It says I am no longer worthy to

be called a son. When we have a wound in this

space, this is what it attacks every time is our identity.

And so it is not not just the patterns that repeat, but

actually how we see ourselves. And we can't filter and see God

and how he sees us because we carry this and we go, I'm not

worthy. We come and we stand to pray in

a time that we're going to do give tithes and offerings and we

go, I'm not worthy to stand. I'm going to stand.

I'm going to put my hands in my pocket and I'm going to agree.

And you know what? I know God's principles to be

true, but I just, I can't. I'm not worthy to be part of

this. This is what financial trauma

and wounds and pain does. It attacks identity.

People begin to believe I will never get ahead.

I will always fail financially. There will never be enough.

I'm just bad with money. Or if I get a better job then

maybe things will sort themselves out.

Or this is how my family has always been.

Do you know, I believe that over this series that God is going to

give individuals in this church the faith to come off welfare

and not because it's a close goal.

I actually felt that before we began to pray, Graham and I were

sort of preparing what we were going to do this season.

And I actually had this sense that some individuals are going

to walk out of this year who completely depended on welfare,

on Centrelink. And you're going to walk out of

this year not because it's just been handed to you, but God is

going to give you the faith, say faith.

He's going to give you the faith to believe that there is a

different way of living for you. And this is, please hear me,

This is not to say that welfare is bad.

Welfare is not bad. We live in one of the most

blessed countries on the planet. I am so grateful for what the

government has actually provided so that no person actually has

to live under like in destitution.

Yes, people still fall through the cracks and we understand all

of the economy and all of those things.

The Bible says the poor will always be with us.

Where to be about that work as the church.

It's not that. It's just Oh well, it'll always

be like that and I can't do anything about it.

No, it calls you and I, the word of God calls you and I to be a

source and an answer and and we can only be a source and an

answer in these spaces. If you and I truly put our faith

in the Lord and say God you, I know you can shift this in my

what I know you can heal this and so that you would bring

enough for me to not just look after what I've got to do, but

do what you want to do through me.

I'm always marked by that scripture that says he was

faithful with the little we'll be entrusted much.

Grey and I had the privilege and honour of serving Pastor

Rachel's parents for nine years before we became the senior

leaders. And I remember sitting in Pastor

X office one day and he was talking to us about leadership

styles. And he said this particular

leadership principle he shared with us, he said you can use in

every area, but he said it's really powerful when you do this

financially. He said in every situation, when

you're talking with people or when you're, you know, at work

and maybe you've got a little bit of conflict or whatever's

going on, anything you do, but particularly finance, he says,

remain open handed. And it marked Grey.

And I, if we didn't hold it, God could get things to us so he

could get them through us. And we've had seasons,

incredible seasons where we have done life really, really tight.

We've not known where the next meal is coming from and yet are

marked by God's faithfulness that a Bible college year for

Gray and I. When Gray did college, he we

made the decision to step out of faith and do college and to

leave work to do so. I was a stay at home mum at the

time, actually volunteering for Pastor Rick and Jenny and so

there was no way possible for us to do this, but we did know that

God had asked it of us. It always takes a step of faith

and you don't know the answer ahead.

You don't know the outcome ahead.

You don't actually know except that the Lord is ordering your

steps. When Gray and I did our budget

at the end of Bible college year, we couldn't explain it.

It was one of the first years we actually went back and audited

the year financially. Even had to do it when you, like

most of us, go and do our tax. Gray and I earned more finance

that year, in a year of choosing to leave security and step out

in faith. More money flowed through our

world that year than any year ever that we had ever

experienced. And Gray and I had walked some

really financially prosperous years before that.

We can only say it was the hand of God.

I have the faith to believe that there are those here today who

carry that same faith, who have a seed of faith to say it could

be different for me, could be different for my life.

And God wants to do something this morning as we humble

ourselves, humble our hearts and open them to him this morning

and say, God, you have permission to do something here.

In my story, this is the significant thing about this.

When the Sun, the prodigal son, returns home, the father doesn't

talk about the inheritance, about the money squandered.

The Big Brother did. Money always reveals our hearts.

The Father just saw a son and he restored identity as the opening

statement. This is what God does with you

and I If we'd run to him, even if we've got nothing, even if we

feel like, if you feel like everything's gone and it's

always striving and always never enough, always the same cycle,

always the same pattern, and it's left a mark on you.

This is just. Will it always be the same?

When you come to the Father, the first thing he's going to do is

restore identity. He's going to remind you of your

sonship and put a ring on your finger and throw a feast.

This is not just a story of salvation.

This is who our Father is and how He operates with you and I.

The Holy Spirit heals identity before He rebuilds stewardship.

God is restoring trust where money is brought trauma this

morning. I wonder if you'd close your

eyes as I just begin to draw this out because I believe that

there is going to be ministry here this morning and that

people are going to respond. God is restoring trust where

money's brought trauma. There is healing this morning

for scarcity thinking, for fear based control, for striving, for

orphan thinking, for shame, for anxiety around provision.

Because God is not merely trying to improve your finances.

God is restoring sons and daughters today.

And so today, I believe there are people here who are going to

receive an identity this morning, a moment in the

presence of God that is going to be restorative to your identity,

not because you're bad with money.

And I want you to hear that church this morning.

For those of you who have the faith to respond this morning,

it's not because you're bad with money, but because money has

attached to pain. Somewhere along the journey and

maybe today, you realise I don't actually trust God with my

provision. I've been living in fear.

I use control to feel safe. I have carried financial shame,

but no longer. And I'm exhausted from striving.

Or I'm tired of living in survival moment or survival

mode. Today I'm going to run to the

Father with every head bowed across this place.

I want to ask you the question again.

What is your first memory of money?

And if this morning it is around any of these topics?

Fear, conflict, stress, lack, embarrassment, instability.

I'm wondering if in faith you would respond by standing today

in an act of running to the Father.

Would you just stand right where you're at?

Nobody's looking around because God's going to meet you right

where you're at. And there is going to be

incredible healing. There's people standing all over

this place. Thank you Jesus, oh Holy Spirit,

Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit, thank you Jesus.

Thank you for humble hearts this morning.

Thank you for people who are brave enough to say in faith,

you know what, I'm going to trust the Lord.

What has been my journey thus far does not need to stay the

same. So for those who have stood so

bravely in faith this morning, God, I pray that you would meet

them like the Father, met the Son and instill and speak

identity, identity restoration over them where there has been

great wounds that have come and like the enemy does to kill,

steal and destroy. Right now.

Lord God, I pray your Holy Spirit comes in and gently heals

right now, ministers and heals right now.

We break yokes that have come from generations that have

passed down patterns of lack or scarcity or gambling and abuse

or insecurities around this fear.

And we break those things in the name of Jesus Christ, that these

sons and daughters may walk forward with strength and with

vigor and with faith, trusting you with your all that you have

entrusted to them. I thank you, Lord God, that you

are the Father who owns cattle on 1000 Hills.

What a picture your provision. We can't even begin to

understand your storehouses. We've never seen with our eyes.

But this morning, we choose to lean into Your Holy Spirit's

promptings and trust you