Phase 3: Social Language

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Awakening Church, it's great to be with you today.

Welcome.

And uh just as we're singing that song, I I want to begin our time a little bit differently.

And so as you're watching, wherever you're watching, would you do this for me?

Would you take your hands and would you just hold them out in front of you?

Go ahead, go ahead and do it.

And I just want us to have a time of recognizing and responding to the greatness of God.

When the pain in our world is great, when the pain in your personal world is great, we have to fix our eyes on who God is.

And I just want you to do this.

I just want you to have this response, God, I can't.

And then you fill in the blank of what you can't do.

And it might be, you know, around your work, it might be around your family, it might be around your own mental health, it might be around the social injustice going around.

God, I can't.

And you fill that in.

But you can't.

God, I can't.

I am not able.

But I am coming to the God who is able.

The God who is actively at work right now, even in the middle of this storm.

The God who cares, and the God who weeps with those who weep.

And the God who shows up long after death had its way to bring resurrection.

And so, God, we begin today with a fresh affirmation of we can't.

In and of our own ability, we can't.

And we declare by faith you can, and we lean into you.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

Well, we're in a series called Social Restoration.

This is our third week, and we've been wrestling with this.

How do we experience social restoration in such a socially divided nation?

How do we not just experience it, but how do we as followers of Jesus actually bring it about in the midst of social injustice and unrest?

Oh, we we begin with looking at phase one that there is a distinction or a distinctive mark of Christians, and that is this social distinction that social restoration begins when followers of Jesus embrace there is no social distinction.

I said it last week and I'll say it again.

Among followers of Jesus, there is to be no social distinction.

There is to be no favoritism played, no prejudice outworking, no racism allowed among the people of God.

It begins with us.

And then last week we looked at phase two and social action.

It says social restoration demands that followers of Jesus put their faith into social action.

See, we want and we're looking for the government needs to be fixed.

Politicians need to, you know, change or address.

And certainly that's great.

The solution, friends, is the church of Jesus Christ rising up and acting in faith in their Savior to bring hope and justice, to say enough is enough, and to be the hands and feet of Jesus to bring mercy and justice to those in need.

It's when we say we're gonna live out our faith.

No more mere talk, but we're gonna walk the walk.

This morning, we're looking at phase three, and James is then going to shift his attention to our words and then their power and look at social language.

And if we look at social media, there's a lot of language going on, isn't there?

Oh my goodness.

There is a lot of language, a lot of rhetoric, a lot of emotion.

And it's just like this onslaught.

And James is gonna say, actually, social restoration for us is when followers of Jesus, we actually have to pay careful, careful attention to our words and our language to bring about that restoration.

We pick it up in James chapter 3, verse 1.

James 3:1

If you got your Bibles, you can open it up or you can, you know, open up your app on your phone.

And James begins this way.

And if you remember, it's it's a people that have undergone uh their own like COVID uh moments.

They've been persecuted, they've been disenfranchised, they're they're they're living in a world that's been turned upside down, and he's he's helping pastor them through this.

And he says, This is a funny way to begin.

Not many of you should become teachers.

Oh, I think we can look at that uh on social media right now and go, hey, not many of you should become teachers.

And in fact, the refrain today is we need more listeners than teachers.

We need to be learners, don't we?

He says, Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers.

Why?

Now, this is interesting.

Because you know that those who we who teach will be judged more strictly.

That as a teacher, we're subject to greater or stricter judgment.

Actually, before God, we give account for every careless word that comes out of our mouth.

Words are many, sin is not far behind, the proverb says.

And then we have more judgment with others.

In fact, I know every time I get up to speak, uh I am being evaluated.

You know, you might sit down later and go, well, what'd you think of the talk?

Or you might be sitting thinking right now, all right, I'm not so sure about this, Ingram.

And we are under judgment and evaluation.

And he says, Listen, not many of you should want to be teachers or those who are speaking out because there is this greater judgment that's going to come.

Now, there was this desire to be a teacher.

This desire, why?

Because there is honor, there's prestige, there was a platform.

Today, so many of us have a platform that many never had even 15 years ago.

Your Instagram page, by the way, you have to embrace you can either be a teacher or a learner.

And most of us are wanting to be informers and teachers.

He says, be on your guard because there is a stricter judgment for those of us that teach.

By the way, every parent is a teacher.

For us as parents, our role is to make sure that we shape our kids and help them understand Jesus and his ways, understand what he values and how to walk with him.

Parents, you're going like, not many of us should become teachers.

You're like, well, I guess I'm off the hook.

You're not off the hook.

You are the primary discipler of your kids.

And you can't outsource that.

And where we would say, we're gonna be the primary uh informers.

For me, in this season, when we're wrestling with the the aftermath of all that's been going on with the evil of racism and Mr.

Floyd's uh murder, it's brought up lots of conversations and moments with my kids.

In fact, uh a couple weeks ago, just we've wanted I've wanted to watch movies that would help open our eyes and sat with uh one of my sons and we watched Just Mercy, great movie, by the way.

I highly recommend it.

And my son's heart breaking over the evil and injustice, and he's like, I'm angry, Dad.

And I wanted to help him understand that's righteous anger.

That's actually the right kind of anger that moves us to holy action.

Well, now he goes on to say, we all stumble in many ways.

Anyone who's never at fault in what they say is perfect.

Like if you can keep a tight rein on your tongue, if you can be careful what you say, if if you never stumble in your words, he's gonna say, actually, your entire life would be perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

And here's what he's saying: when it comes to social restoration and our language, if we're gonna experience social restoration, believers in Christ, we have to watch our words.

We have to be aware of our words.

We have to be so careful about what we say and what we don't say, how we say it.

Often communication isn't just what we say, isn't it?

True, but it's what was received.

And we still defend things and go like, well, I didn't mean it.

I do this in marriage, in my marriage, not in just any marriage, but my marriage.

Uh I, you know, I'm like, well, I didn't mean it, but that's how it was received, and I gotta understand communication is bridging that gap.

And we're called to be careful or watch our words, and he and he actually says this watch your words, why?

For they will guide, they direct your life.

Well, I know this sounds obvious or a little like why would we ask this?

But what exactly are words?

What does that mean?

Well, one definition that I like says words are a communication whereby the mind finds its expression.

I like that definition.

It's a communication whereby the mind finds its expression.

Here's the reason why.

When we think about our words, we often think about them as detached.

Like they're not a part of us, they're this abstract thing.

And I say them and they're out there and they're this thing.

And what he's saying is, no, no, no, your words are actually a part of you.

There's something that came from inside of you, out of you.

And so it cannot be detached from you.

And that's why we have to watch our words, because they actually not only come from inside of us, but they direct our life.

So the question is, well, how do we watch our words?

I think this is so incredibly important, friends, in this season of our history as a nation and as followers of Jesus.

Would you lean in in this moment?

Because we have to do this well and wisely to be, like we said last week, the light of the world.

To be those agents who bring love and grace to our hurting and broken world.

And so, how do we watch our words?

Well, before you speak, stop and think.

I know it sounds like common sense, but it's not so common anymore.

Before you speak, before you send that text, before you send that email, before you post on Instagram or Facebook that rant, before you make that phone call, stop and think.

And I just want you to ask four questions.

The first question, is it true?

Is it true?

Is it accurate?

You know, we live in a world today where it's like, well, I'm just speaking my truth.

I just got to get this off my chest.

Let's really wrestle with is this accurate to what's going on?

Um I I want you to sit down or sit with this just for a second.

Because as followers of Jesus, before we speak, we actually have to do the work of really understanding what it is that we're regurgitating out to people.

And what we do often is we take information in, not evaluating the source of it, and we just respond out in an emotional frenzy.

And you have to stop and ask, is it true?

The New York Times early in April had this article posting about the onset of corona and how there's actually foreign countries that are not fans of the US that were uh uh posting disinformation and it was so widespread uh that that it was trying to create panic and distrust and going like, we actually have a lot of disinformation that we have to wrestle with.

Where did this come from?

Is it really accurate?

Is it really true?

And then once we get to that, then we can go, okay, now I'm able to respond instead of just react.

We have lots of reactors in our day today, and we have to be as followers of Jesus, responding wisely and well to the moment.

So we ask, is it true?

Well, Ingram, I I once I figured out it's truth, it's my truth, I'm gonna say it.

Well, no, no, no, hold on.

There's one, there's another question.

Not only is it true, is it helpful?

Is this helping the conversation?

Or is this harmful?

See, I can speak my truth to you, and it may be my truth, and it will not help the conversation, move things forward, bring about healing or restoration or justice.

It may actually incite more harm and pain.

Proverbs talks about this.

A gentle word stir, a harsh word stirs up wrath, but a gentle word uh calms wrath.

Like, like if we like, is it helpful?

And then the way I'm doing it, is it helpful?

And he says, okay, let's ask this question.

Is it true?

Is it helpful?

Is what I'm about to say going to bring about uh the end result?

Is it gonna bring about reconciliation?

Is it gonna be bring about justice?

Is it gonna bring about healing?

Is it gonna bring about love and peace?

And then we gotta ask, not only is it true, is it helpful, but is it kind?

And you're like, Ingram, this isn't a time to be kind.

Don't you know where we're living?

Kindness is dead.

We gotta get to work.

Well, hang on, you don't understand what kindness is.

See, we've confused niceness and kindness.

Dr.

Henry Cloud in his book Necessary Ending does a fantastic work on this.

See, kindness doesn't mean I just say whatever is nice to you.

Let me explain the difference.

I'll give you a silly illustration, if you will.

The silly illustration is this.

Let's say we're out to dinner together, that we can do that, you know, is kind of awesome now.

And whether you want to do that or not, I don't know.

I'm not diving into that.

Actually, I was walking with my buddy downtown uh the other day.

Uh, it was actually on June 5th when all the restaurants outdoor were open, and a guy was wanting to film us and ask us, a news reporter, like how we felt about it.

And I'm like, I don't really want to answer that because I know everyone has like different opinions.

So don't worry about it.

Let's just pretend like you're okay with it and you're out to dinner, okay?

And you have a piece of food in your teeth.

If I'm nice to you and I look at you, I'm not gonna say anything about it.

I'm gonna ignore it, I'm gonna let you go on your way because I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or feel bad.

Oh, that's nice.

But if I was kind, I go, excuse me, I'm so sorry.

Hey, you got a little something here, you got it, you got a little parsley here, because I don't want you to walk around and smile and somebody else and be walking around with that on your face.

See, kindness actually addresses things for the good of the other person.

We have to ask the question is it true?

Is this accurate?

Is it helpful?

Am I adding to the conversation?

Am I am I building up?

Am I helping?

Is it kind?

Not just like I'm being nice to you and I don't want to address something, but is it really kind to you?

Is this gonna be uh for your best?

And then finally, and this is really important, have I truly listened?

Before you speak, stop and think.

Have I truly listened?

Have I heard?

Have I taken time before I repost or before I rant to really hear where someone's coming from and what's going on in them.

Friends, followers of Jesus, we have to become far better listeners than question answerers.

I like how um David Augsburger, I think that's how you say his last name, said it.

Here's why this is so important.

He said, being heard is so close to being uh um loved that for the average person they are uh I can't even read my uh almost indistinguishable.

Let me read it again because I couldn't even read my own writing there.

Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.

This is so important.

Before I speak in, before I'm gonna lean in, before I'm gonna utter words, I'm gonna go, have I listened?

Have I really heard?

Not have I just figured out how to respond and what argument I have or what thoughts do I have, but but I want to understand where you're coming from.

See, social restoration, it requires of us that we lean in and we watch our words and we ask the questions is it true, is it helpful, is it kind, or have I truly listened?

And I want to talk about what's at stake.

Like, why do we have to be so careful with what we say?

And James actually is gonna unpack how words are so powerful that this would give us pause as we begin to engage with one another, as we begin to have dialogue with others we might disagree with, as we post, and as we begin to, you know, gather once again as a community in homes.

Listen to what he says.

He's gonna say that words are powerful.

Now we know that already, but we need to be reminded of it.

He says, We put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn a whole animal, or take ships as an example.

Although they're so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.

Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great bows.

Here's what he's saying: saying, our words have directional force.

Your words, my words, have directional force.

The same way a bit in a horse and a rudder to a boat steers the horse, your words have directional force both in your life and in others' life.

See, your words are powerful.

Some of the words that we're saying to ourselves are directing the very course of your life.

I'm no good.

I'm a failure.

I'll just never make it.

This is impossible.

It has directional force.

And we've all experienced it.

That someone's words in our life has had directional force, hasn't it?

Maybe it was a coach that offered encouragement.

Maybe it was a mentor who spoke in or a parent that surrounded you, and the career path that you're on it was actually set in place by someone else's words.

And it has directional force, both good and for bad.

I was reminded of um a friend of mine who was wrestling whether he wanted to start uh his company or not.

He's had this entrepreneurial spirit, and we sat down, we had this conversation, and it's like, man, what's the worst that can happen?

You're a really smart, gifted guy.

You start this thing, it doesn't work, you're gonna go get a new job.

You're young, go for it.

And he points back and he's go, Ryan, that conversation was the tipping point for me to start this business.

See, your words, my words, they have directional force.

We have to be careful because we got to recognize our words have directional force.

The second thing, he's gonna go from bit to horses, he's gonna say, our words, and we know this, have destructive power.

They cannot do Harm.

He he talks about how a little spark.

See, we we think of our words, you know, remember that definition of words as a communication by where the mind finds expression?

Like it's just a little thing.

It's just a how I didn't even mean it.

Wasn't that big of a deal.

And James says, in the same way that a spark can move and turn a whole forest onto fire, our words can have the same impact.

They actually can be so destructive.

We got to be so careful because we recognize it might have just been an off-comment, and it can really, really create damage.

I was thinking about this in my own life, and right before we started awakening, I was having breakfast with a friend, and we're talking about it, and there's obviously, yeah, I mean, when you start something, there's lots of insecurities, fears, all these sort of things, and we're talking about it.

And he made this comment about my preaching and compared me to someone else.

And it just caught me to the point where that conversation shaped the way I thought about my communication for years.

I never felt good enough.

Every time I got up to speak, I was desperately insecure, feeling like I just didn't have enough.

And so then I started, instead of trying to communicate God's word, I was trying to get people to think well of me.

Literally years, one conversation, and and it wasn't even something that he meant in that way, but it just pierced my heart.

And we've all had that before.

And unfortunately, we've done that before to others.

He says, Why are we to be so careful?

Our words have directional force, our words have destructive power.

And then he finally he says, our words are very difficult to control.

And in fact, he says, we can tame animals, wild animals, and we've tamed all sorts of them, but you can't tame the tongue.

Notice what he says in James chapter 3, uh, verse 7.

James 3 · chapter mention

He says, All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind.

But no human being can tame the tongue.

It's a restless evil full of deadly poison.

Wow.

Trying to underscore the damage.

See, we don't think a whole lot about this, but the damage that can be done.

See, our words at James would say, in and of ourselves and in our own strength, it's not difficult.

It's actually impossible.

We need the Spirit of God to transform us to be able to tame our tongue, not just our willpower.

They're difficult to control.

When I was a boy, and this shows up for us uh when we're little, we we start to develop, you know, better habits that where we can kind of cloak what we say, but then it spills out in different times.

But I remember this when I was a boy.

Um we were watching some movie, and it was like a spy movie.

I the one image I can really remember was some guy with a rope climbing to sneak into uh this building.

I I don't remember what the movie was.

Um, and I remember I was completely unable to control my words.

And so my dad's a pastor, you know, and I grew up in this Christian home, and and I couldn't help but say the H word.

I won't say it.

I know we have kids in the room, so I'm not gonna say that.

But I remember going, what the H is he doing?

My parents were like, What'd you just say?

And and then I said it again.

And then and they said, Ryan, if you say that again, you're gonna go to your room, you're gonna go to bed early, you will miss out on the movie.

And then something else happened in the movie, and and I'm like, what the?

I don't know where I learned this or anything, you know.

I'll blame my older brothers, just kidding.

Um, but and it and it just spilled out.

I couldn't control it.

And here's what we find is that little boy still has a hard time controlling his words.

And you and I see, words are very difficult to control, and they're powerful.

So then what do we do with them?

How do we become a people that bring restoration and healing in the words that we have because they're powerful and not destruction and harm?

Well, James is going to tell us first we have to repent.

Oh boy.

Use the R word, not the H word, the R word.

Repent for the incongruity of your words.

Notice what he says.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings who've been made in God's likeness.

Out of the same mouth comes praises and cursing.

My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

We actually, the first step for you, the first step for me is we repent of our incongruity, the dissonance, and where we sing songs, where we just worshiped and recognized that we yelled at our kids, where we just worshiped and we just talked about someone negatively, where we just worshiped and on Monday we we just slam our boss or our coworker or a spouse or friend or roommate.

And we got to repent and own ours.

See, it's easy to look at everybody else.

It's easy to go, like, look at what they're doing and how they're doing it.

This is not the invitation for you to evaluate everybody else's language.

This is the invitation for you.

That's the reason I changed uh the pronoun.

All the other ones were R and we.

I changed it to your because it is for you, for me.

We're gonna repent.

I say, God, this is not okay.

This is not right.

Years ago, um there was a high-profile pastor that stepped out of his ministry and he was doing some things that I didn't understand.

And I remember sitting around a table with friends, and we're talking about it.

And me and another buddy who were in ministry, we were so critical of his decisions.

We don't know him.

At that point, I had never met him, didn't know all the circumstances, and I just spoke so negatively and authoritative in that moment.

And I remember driving home from hanging out with the friends, and the Holy Spirit, i.e., my wife, said to me, Ryan, that was not right.

The way you spoke about him, and you don't know, and it was so convicting.

And I had to repent of my own brokenness where I can praise God and preach the gospel and then cut down someone who's preaching the gospel.

Friends, that should not be.

And I sent a text out to the friends and apologized and I asked for forgiveness.

And the humor of God was a few months later, ended up doing and speaking a conference with this in person.

It's just like God going like, see, pay attention.

See, we have to repent.

It begins right there.

God, I'm sorry, because my words, as I worship you, I cannot cut down any other human, whether I agree with them or disagree with them, like them or dislike them, they are imagode, image-bearers of you, and so I will not have incongruity, I will not have dissonance, I will not praise you and curse them.

And so, God, would you do the work in me?

So, what do we do?

We repent, and then we have to go to the root and address the fruit.

This is what James says.

He says, In the same uh, sorry, uh, there we there we go.

Then he goes on, can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?

My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree uh bear olives or a grapevine bear frigs?

Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

He's going, you gotta get to the root of the issue.

If you don't like the fruit, you don't adjust externally.

And that's what we try to do.

We try to just put a muzzle on our lips of like, I'm gonna try harder not to say this or say that.

He says, No, no, no, no.

Go to the root.

What's the root?

The heart.

He's actually talking about what Jesus talked about.

Luke chapter 6, verse 43, Jesus said, For there is no good tree which produces bad fruits, nor, on the other hand, a bad tree which produces good fruit.

Luke 6:43

For each tree is known by its own fruit.

For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they pick up grapes from briar bushes.

The good man, out of the good treasure of his heart, brings forth what is good.

The evil man, out of the evil treasure, brings forth what is evil.

Now notice this, for his mouth speaks from that which his heart is filled.

You gotta go to the root.

See what we do is we go, I just didn't mean it.

Oops, it slipped down.

Our words reveal what's in our heart.

This is what Jesus is saying.

This is what James is talking about.

And if if our words are cutting, if our words are critical, if our words are putting down, if our words have an incongruity where we're worshiping God on one hand and we're putting down his image bearers on the other, he says you have to do heart work.

God, it's actually a heart issue.

It's not a words issue, it's a heart issue.

That's why social restoration requires followers of Jesus to do the heart work, the heartwork, the work of the heart to bring about redemptive social language.

See, for us to be a people where our words bring healing instead of hurt, where our words are not bringing hatred or discord or divisiveness or animosity, but where we're bringers of peace and justice and righteousness and grace, it begins in here, not out there.

See, we're wanting everything out there, and we need to adjust that.

And the invitation is I'm gonna repent for what the brokenness in my language, and God, it's revealing something in my heart, and so I'm gonna do the heart work.

God, as David played, give me a clean heart, oh God.

A prayer that I pray so often is, God, would you make me a man after your own heart?

If you just study the scriptures, you know, we taught this uh back in February, like guard your heart above all else, for from it flows the wellspring of life.

The scripture speaks immensely about your heart.

God, give me an undivided heart.

And as you do that, what will flow out is the fruit of righteousness, the fruit of peace, the fruit of hope, the fruit of life.

Proverbs says this the tongue has the power of life and death.

Our words are powerful.

Jesus followed, your words are powerful, and we have the opportunity wherever we're at, whether it's online or in person, to bring life.

And so in this moment, where are you at?

Where do you need to be?

It's not about other people and what they're saying and what they're posting.

What about you?

And would you come before your heavenly father who's eager to respond to everyone who calls upon his name and says, God, I need you.

I recognize the dissonance of my words.

Would you, would you forgive me?

And then, God, I want to I want to be focused on what you're doing in me.

Heavenly Father, create in me a clean heart, oh God.

Create in me a clean heart.

Make me a person after your heart.

God, I'm gonna watch over my heart, the interior of my life with all diligence, knowing that my words flow from that, and from that comes life or death.

Would you make us a people whose words, would you make us a church whose language and social language is that of hope and life and peace and justice.

In Jesus' name, amen.