Broken God: The Goodness of God | Part 3

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We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ.

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Well, good morning, Awakening Church.

Great to be with you.

Happy Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful bride as well.

Um, we're in a series called Broken God, and here's what we've been saying the last few weeks is that it's easy to look around at the world today and conclude that, you know, if there is a God, he must be broken because of all the brokenness we see.

And yet the reality is, is what's broken is our view of God, and at the root of all the problems we experience comes back to our view and understanding of who God is.

And so we've been spending this series uh refocusing our view of who God is and bringing an alignment of what's true of him.

And so uh last week we talked about the holiness of God.

Today we're gonna talk about the goodness of God.

And before I do that, I thought I would just set us up on this idea and subject of the goodness of God.

So go ahead and turn to your neighbor and say the goodness of God.

Okay, you didn't really say it that well, so go ahead and turn to your other neighbor and say the goodness of God.

You know, um, as I studying and wrestling with the goodness of God, I was talking to a friend and and she said, you know, yes, God is good even when all evidence points to the contrary.

And I think there's many of us that walk in and feel that way.

And I've been wrestling with this question.

Um, it's simply um here, I guess there you go.

Uh, what would change in your life, in my life, if I really believed that God is good?

Like, just as I was studying that, like what would deeply significantly change in my life, in your life, if you really believed God is good?

A.

W.

Tozer in his classic knowledge of the holy, we've been traveling through that, writes this the goodness of God is that which disposes him to be kind, cordial, benevolent, and full of goodwill toward men.

He is tenderhearted and of quick sympathy.

By his nature, he is inclined to bestow blessedness and he takes holy pleasure in the happiness of his people.

Like, what would change in your life?

What would change in my life if we truly believe that is the fundamental character trait of God?

In fact, when Moses was asking to see the glory of God, he said, Show me your glory, which meant, show me the real you.

I want to know the full weight of who you are.

God said this, and I will cause all of my help me out goodness, the real you.

It's all of his goodness pass before you.

That's fundamentally the God we worship and serve and his heart towards each and every one of us.

And so let me ask you one last time.

What would change in your life if you really truly believed God is good?

I asked my mom to join me, which is really fun.

And mom, why don't you come on out uh today?

This is the first time we've ever gotten to share a stage.

Thank you for welcoming her and have this.

Go ahead and grab a seat.

Um and and and part of a major reason was as I thought about the goodness of God.

It should be on.

Let me check.

Yeah, you're all good.

All right.

Um, and I thought about, you know, while all evidence points to the contrary, you can look back at your life right now and go, wow, God has been so good.

Four amazing kids, I might add, uh, that you had.

Um, all married.

One in particular is really great.

Um Annie, the daughter.

You have 12 grandkids.

God's using your life.

You just wrote a book as well, Precious in His Sight.

Um, and yet the beginning of your story, I would say all evidence pointed to the contrary.

Yes.

And I would love just for you to share your story.

How did you come to know Jesus?

What was a little bit of your background?

Um you're gonna make me cry.

Robbie, that wasn't fair.

You sang my son's song that he wrote right before I came out here.

So I got all teary-eyed.

Um, well, my life has been really interesting, and it certainly is a lot different than I thought it would be.

I grew up in a very small rural area in West Virginia.

It's I I can hardly explain it to you because most of you wouldn't be able to relate.

It's it's in the heart of the Appalachian Mountains.

It's um a lot of the people in my town, which was very, very small, uh, lived up what we called hullers.

And there were a lot of poor people and uh just people that were struggling a lot.

And uh I just that was my environment for 12 12 or more years growing up, um going to school.

So it was a lonely life for me.

Um my parents, my mother didn't drive, so we were stuck at home all the time, and she she was a a fearful person.

She was um, she was she didn't, she was very quiet, she didn't talk very much, and she was afraid to go out and do things.

In fact, she would send me uh when I was old enough to go and do some of the things that she didn't want to do.

So she was uh she's a sweet, a sweet mom, and I love her dearly, but she um she really never expressed to us outwardly in in her words or with her with hugs that she loved us.

And I'm not sure why, um, because I knew that she did because of the way she took care of us.

And my dad, it was a totally different story.

My dad was um alcoholic.

I would see him drinking as soon as he got up in the morning.

Every morning he had to have a drink to start the day.

He um he was very strict with all of us.

There were three girls in our family, and he was very strict.

We had to stay home almost all the time.

We we lived away from people, uh, so we didn't have a lot of interaction and a lot of opportunities.

And I I hear about all the opportunities that uh all that young people have today, and I just feel like, oh my gosh, what would I have been if I had had those opportunities?

But the thing is, um I was right where God wanted me to be.

That's where He brought me into this life, and and I learned and I grew.

I learned to work hard and eventually came to know the Lord as my Savior.

And I I didn't have any friends because we lived so far away from my school friends, and we weren't allowed to go much of any.

We worked very hard, we had to work a lot.

Um, and my best friends were my dog and the animals.

We had farm animals, and I loved books.

That's how I spent my summers was uh waiting on the bookmobile to come through so I could get books to read, and I would read, and I loved music and just things that I could do alone.

And I it was all the all those things that really soothed me during those times.

Well, as I went through high school and under such a um a strict father who I was terribly afraid of because he would punish us over the least little thing we did wrong.

We felt like we had to be perfect all the time, and I couldn't be, no one can be.

And so when I graduated from high school, the first thing that I wanted to do was get away from there.

I really rebelled in my heart.

I wanted more, and I knew that there was more out there for me, but I couldn't find it where I was, and so I I fought with my dad to let him um that he would allow me to go to college.

And so I won and and I got to go to Fairmont State College.

And while I was there, I was I started dating a young man who loved me, or I thought who loved me.

And he um he was what I built my whole life upon that at that time.

He was going to college and and um I I went two years and then I then I took a job at the college so I could support him and put him the rest of the way through school.

And I had all these dreams of what life was gonna be like.

That I was gonna be married, I was gonna have a home, I was gonna have children, life was gonna be wonderful, and and uh I was gonna just be so happy.

And so those are the dreams I had, but I didn't know the Lord.

Um, I didn't grow up in a Christian home.

We went to church, but it was just a place to go.

I never heard the the scriptures during all that time.

Um but after we got married, um, and he I worked and he finished college, he finished college and he got a job right away.

And I had gotten pregnant, and about three months after he graduated from college, we had twin boys, and I was shocked because at that time they didn't do sonograms, and I didn't know I was having twins until they were born, so it was a real shock.

And um and the the newspaper came out the next day.

This was a smaller town, Fairmont, West Virginia, and so it was a big deal if twins were born at the hospital, and I and I saw the the article and it said um that I had a boy and a girl, and I was so confused because I had two boys, and I thought, oh my goodness, what do I have?

I don't have I wasn't sure what I had.

Um but they were just uh the sweetest little little babies, and and um, and I'm so thankful for them.

But my husband just was so self-centered.

He he was so into his life, what he wanted, what would make him happy, and he became uh very uh involved in alcohol, just like my dad, and and he became involved in some drugs and partying a lot.

And he started going out at night and partying and uh with friends, and uh I didn't feel I didn't feel like he really was taking care of us or that he cared about us, but I I my dreams were still, oh, this is you know, this is gonna change.

We is we're just in this new season and it's gonna change and everything's gonna be great.

Well, I found out that it wasn't gonna be great.

Um when my little boys were about six months old.

He packed his bags, took everything out of his closet, and he left us.

Um he he had gotten involved with another woman, and I found out he'd been lying to me, and I found out, and and and I confronted him with it, and he just left.

And I didn't have any any support.

I lived in a little apartment with a broken down car, and I had to quit my job because I had two babies instead of one, and I wasn't able to take to take care of them when I worked.

And so I felt like I was left with nothing.

There was nothing.

And I didn't know the Lord.

I didn't have the help of Jesus in my life.

So he left at first and he moved down the street with this lady.

So I had to drive past that place every time I I went out because it was a one-way street.

And it was just really difficult.

I was I was devastated.

I my heart was broken.

And I I just I felt like my life was over.

There's I don't have a life anymore.

And I became really, really depressed, um, very discouraged.

But I look back now and I see God was at work and He was He was uh searching for me and calling me all that time.

So I went back up to the college and they had a job opening, and I took it, and I was able to find child care for my little boys because I had to work, I had no money, um, I didn't have family that could help me in that way.

And so I went back and I ended up working with the director of admissions at this college, and he was a godly man, he he loved the Lord, and I knew nothing about I knew the little stories about Jesus from going to Sunday school, but I'd never read the Bible.

I knew nothing about the Lord, I didn't even know what being saved meant.

And so I would go in his office, we would work together on sending out letters to uh the students, and I so I would be in his office um every day for a little while.

And I I went to work and I I wanted to be strong and I didn't share anything to anyone about what was going on in my life because I I guess I was too proud.

I just I didn't want people to know that my life was falling apart.

So I would go in his office and one day he asked me how I was doing, and I just started crying right in front of him.

I thought this is terrible, just boohooing right in front of your boss.

And uh he was so, so loving.

And um every day after that, when I would go in, he would tell me about the love of God.

And um and I heard it over and over.

But I didn't know him, I didn't know the Lord.

And so I was thinking about this for for weeks, actually, and he kept telling me that that God would take care of me, that he would take care of my children.

I'm so sorry, Ryan.

I can't keep from crying.

No, you're great.

Um after hearing this for a while, I thought, well, I know, you know, if if my my friend who had become my friend says that God is real and he's a uh he's a uh educated man.

I mean, this this must there must be something to it.

And so he invited me to church to go with him one night to this little church in the country.

He he was a lay preacher sometimes at a Free Methodist church, and he would go around to some of these little churches when they needed a pastor, and he would preach, and he was preaching at this little church out in the country, and he asked me, he and his wife asked me if I would go, would go with them.

So I started thinking, um, because I didn't know I didn't know where God was, I didn't know how to find him.

And I'm in my mind I was thinking, well, if there really is a God, he must be at church.

He's gotta be at church.

And so I went with them and I was I really was expecting something to happen.

And my sister, my younger sister came and she she was helping me with the boys, and so we went to church and I sat through this church service.

It was just a typical Free Methodist church service, and my friend gave the message, they sang hymns, they prayed, and nothing happened.

And I was distraught.

I just remember walking out of that building thinking, this isn't real.

There really isn't a God.

And as I was out getting in the car, um putting the boys in their in the car seats, and uh a little old lady out in the parking lot, and I I didn't know any of these people, she came up to me and just said, Do you want to be saved?

And I didn't know what saved meant, but I said yes.

And and it was it was to me, it's a miracle.

Um she didn't know what was going on in my life, and God just led her to do that.

And so I went back into the church, and everybody in the parking lot got out of their cars and went back into church and went to the altar with me, and and we prayed, and and um I came to know Jesus that night as my savior.

And when I went home, I you know I didn't I didn't know scripture and the only the only verse that I knew was Psalm 23, which I had memorized in Sunday school, and that's the Lord is my shepherd.

And so I I just remember the next morning getting ready for work, and I'm I was having such a battle in my mind, and I I just kept saying Psalm 23 over and over, and I wasn't aware of spiritual uh battle at that time, and I think I was really having a spiritual battle for my soul, and I kept saying Psalm 23 over and over and over, and then I um I started to get involved with there, or I want to say I didn't start getting involved, people got involved in my life and helped me and supported me and helped me to grow during that time.

And um I'm just to me it's it's just um a miracle of the Lord that uh that he would choose me.

And uh and it's even more of a miracle that I'm up here on the stage, and my son is sitting right here.

Um, but that's that's what what my early days were like.

And I was I was 25 when I came to Christ.

Oh, thank you for sharing, and this is fun to get to be on the stage together, hopefully many more times.

We'll see.

We'll see.

I I have to pass the test first.

He oh, he already passed it.

He already passed it.

Um, you know, one of the psalms as we're talking about the goodness of God is taste and see that the Lord is good.

Psalm 34.8.

Blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

And so now you're a single mom with twin babies, which are my brothers, by the way.

So if you're wondering, oh, is Ryan a twin?

No.

Um those are my older.

Ship adopted the boys after we got married, so we we are a family.

Absolutely.

Um, and so how in those early days and early years did you begin to taste and see that the Lord is good?

You know, we're gonna sing a song after this that says you keep on getting better, and it's not that God's getting better, we've talked about this, but the more you get to know God and his goodness, the better he becomes to you because you're experiencing more fully who he is.

How did you begin to taste and see his goodness through those next years?

I have to say it's a slow process, but also for some it's a vast process.

And uh I began real slowly, but when I uh really grasped uh who God is, then it was that was all I needed.

I I I really grew spiritually during that time, but I have to say it was people in my life that helped me.

Um it was my my friends who helped lead me to Christ, who encouraged me to go to church, they encouraged me to get in the Word, and um they helped me, they brought things that I needed, brought food, took care of um helped me with my kids.

It was people it was the body of Christ who really loved me that got me off in a good in a good way.

And uh just having that reminder, even when I didn't want to go to church, uh having that reminder of someone calling and saying, you know, we'll pick you up, we'll we'll help you, but we just want you to be there.

And so that would that I would say that was number one.

And then I I learned to get in the word of God, which was, you know, God, God says that his word is a refuge, that he is a refuge, and his word is um gives us strength, and his word gives us hope and and gives us direction.

And as I beget in get in the word of God, it's was like a light went on.

I would, you know, when you're when you come to Christ and you're saved, you have the Holy Spirit.

We have Christ living in us.

And it was like my eyes were opened.

And when I read the Bible, it would just jump off the page.

And I would, God would speak to me.

And it was such a precious time for me, especially in those those years of being a single mom and just feeling alone and feeling desperate.

God's word was my delight.

And I'm very thankful that I learned even the people that helped me just to get going in my Christian life helped me to get in the word.

And they spent time with me and they taught me.

And um, and I'm very grateful for that.

And I learned how to pray, the same people.

I went through a prayer class early on, very early in my Christian life, with a group of five ladies in the basement of a Free Methodist church.

And what's amazing to me, you kind of think in those little obscure places that God's surely not working there.

And you know, that there's not godly people there.

But I'm I'm telling you, there are.

You know, as I was in the word, as I would cry out to him, he he just kept showing up all over the place.

I'm I just remember a time that uh I had a car that broke down all the time, and I was driving along, and I had the boys in the back seat, and my car broke down, and I never knew what to do.

And there just happened to be a mechanic right behind me, and he got out of his car and helped fix my car and get me back on the road.

And another time I was so lonely on the weekends, just I had too much time to myself, and and I liked being busy when I could get through the weeks, but the weekends were really hard.

And I I was sitting on the floor in the living room one time after it was after the boys went to bed.

I do everything after the boys go to bed.

Um, but I was praying.

I said, Lord, I am so lonely.

Will you please send someone to my door?

And it was it was the most amazing thing.

There was a knock at the door a few minutes later, and it wasn't my knight in shining armor, it was my friend Edith, who was next door, and she was just a lovely older lady, and she came to the door and we sat and we became the best of friends, and I had the opportunity later on to lead her to Christ.

And so God just showed up in just amazing ways.

Um, uh another another way is just meeting my husband, my my new husband.

Where I can't see him, but yeah.

The lights are too bright.

Um but I was praying for a husband, and I just I never met a Christian man in my life, other than the man who led me to Christ.

And he was already married and had three kids.

But I'd never I didn't know what it was like to be with a Christian man.

And so I was praying, my friends were praying that God would give me a husband, and I want I wanted my my kids to have a dad.

And so as I prayed, I um my friend suggested that we go to this navigator meeting, which was a college ministry meeting that was uh was hosted by this navigator group, and Chip, my now husband, was leading that group, and so it was it was a Bible study, it was singing and worship, and it was just just for college kids.

But I I went and and I'm I went uh just to meet him because uh my friend was telling me about him.

And so I I went to meet him, um, and I did.

I saw him and I was really, really attracted to him, and I I thought, oh, maybe he's the one, maybe he's the one God's God has sent here for me because I haven't met anyone else.

And so the next literally the only one at best.

The only one.

And so the next week I I thought, well, I'm gonna go back because who knows what God is doing.

And I really believed in the power of prayer, and so I took my little boys with me.

So they were they were babies, they were like two years old, and I took them in their little little pajamas with feet on, and I mean, with you know, that have the feet.

And uh so we walk in this this uh rally with all these college kids, and you know, I just sat down and act like I'm a part of it, and had these two little boys, and uh, because I I thought he if if he's the one that's God has for me, he needs to know I have kids.

And uh so then he didn't pay much attention to me.

I think he might have, you know, said hi or something, but he didn't particularly notice me.

And so I went home that night and I was so distraught again, and I thought, this I'm not going back there.

And that was the first time in my life I surrendered something to God, and I remember sitting on my bed that night, and I just put out my hands and I said, Lord, I'm I'm not going back there.

And if he's the one you've brought here for me, and see, I still was thinking that, then you bring him to me.

I'm not going to do anything.

If you want him to come to me, you bring him to me.

And so, you know, a few weeks went by and nothing happened, and I just thought, well, you know, nothing is going to happen.

And but then one night Chip called me, and he had been thinking about me this whole time, and he went through the pages of the um, they had a roster where people that would come would put their names and their telephone numbers just so they could keep track of who was coming.

And he flipped through the pages until he found my name, and he called me, and that was the beginning.

I I was I was in shock.

And that was the beginning of um a relationship that that grew into um just what we've shared for the last 43 years, and and then he became the father of my children, and then we had two more children, and and uh that was just one of the most amazing answers to prayer that I ever had.

Am I taking up too much time?

You're doing great, you're doing great.

Um, you know, one of my you're speaking about prayer, and I just can tell you that my mom is a prayer warrior.

Um and one of my fond memories growing up as a kid is I would wake up in the early mornings, you know, to have go use the bathroom, and she would always be up and she'd be on the couch and the lamp would be on, and she'd have a hot cup of coffee, and she'd just spend hours in the morning with Jesus.

And you know, it's been said that God doesn't have favorites, but he has intimates, and you are an intimate.

And I I think that model for me was always so powerful in a picture.

Sorry, I don't mean to make you cry.

Um, and I love the the psalm, Psalm 73, where it says, But as for me, the nearness of God is my good.

And then when it's talking about the goodness of God, it kind of you see this repeated, is that when you really believe that God is good, you make him your refuge.

You make him, he is the true safe harbor, and so instead of trying to navigate on your own, you you run to him.

And I think that's the story that I've seen over and over, is that the nearness of God is your good and you've made him your refuge.

And what is it?

Or maybe just help us a little on how you you talked about prayer.

What are those times like for you as you've made him a refuge through all the ups and downs in those prayers as you've grown?

I mean, literally, uh, if if we needed anything as kids, you know, even grown kids, we just ask mom to pray.

God will answer her, you know.

Uh, just because you've you've learned that intimacy with Jesus.

How did that foster?

How did that develop?

I think I think it happened because I was desperate.

Um and I and I needed God.

And I at a time when I felt like I had nothing to give, that he came to me.

And um and I learned that I could pour out my heart to him.

And he's carried me through all kinds of trials of life, and and we all have those.

Um but he's with us all the time, and he cares, and I I've learned he listens, he cares about what we say, he cares about what we think, and um, and he wants to hear us.

He wants us to talk with him, and he wants to speak to us through his word and through nature and through people, and he speaks to us in many ways to give us hope and encouragement.

And so I became that's I think I was really blessed that um it was through difficulty that I came to know the Lord because I realized that he was all that I needed.

Um and one thing I've always thought about is when when you realize that um God is all you have, then you realize that he's all you need in whatever situation that you're going through.

So that's how it all started, and then the hunger, you know, for God's word, as as we're in his word, that hunger develops and you develop a relationship with him.

And um it's the it's a it's a treasure, those treasured times to be able to spend in in God's word and prayer.

And and when I was when I was a single mom and I was hurting so badly, and and I was learning to pray, when I would come home from work, the first thing I would do because I was hurting so much, uh, and I had read in the Bible that uh, well, you don't have to do this, but I thought you did, that you go into your closet and pray.

I took it all literally.

And uh so I would run into my little closet.

There was hardly room for me to get in it, it was so tiny, but I ran in there and I get on my knees and I just pour out my heart to God, and he met me.

And um, and I've spent my life um fortunately with a wonderful husband, um to be able to express to other people that God has the same for you.

That when you cry out to him, he will meet you in your need.

It doesn't mean everything will change, but he's with you and he gives you all that you need in that moment.

And uh so I think for me, God became so real that um it was like he was my friend walking beside me.

And uh I just as we're talking about the goodness of God uh this weekend, um that verse that most of us know is that all things work together for good to those who love him.

And I I can verify that that we may not see it all in this life, but whatever we go through, that God is working for good in our lives.

Thank you so much, mom, for sharing.

Can we thank my mom for being with us really coming?

Would you would you mind just praying for us and maybe moms in particular and moms who are this is a very painful Mother's Day?

I'd have to be so emotional.

Um, yes.

Heavenly Father, we come to you today, we approach your throne with confidence because um because of Christ, because of what Jesus has done for us.

And Father, we are so grateful that you care about mothers.

It always impressed me how you cared about your mother, Mary, when you didn't leave her alone after you went to the cross, and that you care about every mother.

And so, Father, I pray today that you would give strength to each of these moms.

Some that are hurting, some that there's some that just really want to have children, they want to be mamas.

Would you give them strength?

Would you give them perspective?

Would you, those that are in the midst of caring for little ones, would you give them great wisdom?

Help them to lead their children in a way that's pleasing to you.

Um you provide their needs, father, will you um just do a great work in the women in this room that um they would just multiply little warriors for Christ all over the place?

And Father, thank you for thank you for these women.

And will you bless them today?

We hope you are blessed by this message.

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