Mother's Day at Awakening: Be.Loved

Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast.

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Thanks for tuning in.

Well, good morning, Awakening.

How are we doing?

Yeah, happy Mother's Day, Mom.

So, like we had one clapper over here.

Can we just get a full clap?

I just uh it'd be a better way to start.

Thank you.

Um Happy Mother's Day, Moms.

We're so thrilled to have you join us today.

If you're new, my name's Ryan.

Uh, we're doing something a little different today, as you can see, by the setup, and I'll explain it in just a second.

And I was reminded of this passage this morning, um, Proverbs 31.

I don't know if you're familiar with it, but it's often called the Proverbs 31 woman.

And then if you're a woman, you read this, you're like, wow, that's a lot to live up to.

Um, hello.

And and one clap again.

Okay, there we go.

I guess that's just the day.

I don't know.

Um but here's what's interesting about as you look at that Proverbs 31, it's not like this is a to-do list that you try to achieve.

Gee, let's try that again.

This is a to-do list that you're trying to uh achieve.

But as your heart and life leans into your savior, it's who you're formed and who you become.

And I invited three just amazing moms who exemplify this is the verse of the day on you version.

She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

And I just want to invite three moms who speak with wisdom and faithful instruction, who have gone through a lot, uh, and who I can literally say laugh at the days to come.

Like there's just a strength and a confidence in what Jesus has done, is doing, and will do in their life.

And so today I want to do a little interview.

I would love for you to give a warm welcome to Jenny Ingram, Evita Cass, and Jen Smith.

Come on out.

Thank you all for joining me.

I'm gonna scoot forward again.

There we go.

Can I see you guys?

Thanks so much for being willing to do this.

This is awesome.

This is no small deal.

Getting up in front and speaking, that's intimidating, that's scary.

Serving us on Mother's Day as moms.

Thank you so much for that.

And I thought, let's just start with maybe a softball one.

Tell us, you know, names and ages of your kids, um, which one's your favorite, and then uh I'm just kidding.

Uh, but maybe like what is maybe a funny moment as a mom or a favorite moment uh that you can look back on, or what do you enjoy about uh motherhood?

So we'll just start with you since I know you the best.

Yes.

Um I'm Jenny, I'm right married to him, and we have three kids.

So our oldest is Ella, she's 18.

She was up here singing, and she didn't she didn't tell me she was doing that this morning, so that was a little sweet surprise.

Um she's heading off to college, and then we have Ryder, who's 16, and then our youngest is Miles, who's 13.

Fun moment.

Fun moment.

Um, the the first one that came to mind for me was for uh Miles, a Miles story, which is probably because it's the freshest.

And we call him, at least as a kid, Miles of Smiles.

Yeah, he just makes us laugh.

He's just so fun.

He loves to laugh.

And um uh I was just thinking about his first day of kindergarten, and you know, you send your kid off and you're all excited, and then I got a call from the principal, and they were like, Miles went into the hot lunchroom, got the cookies, and passed them out on the playground so that all the kids could have a cookie.

But the Robin Hood of Cookies, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

And I didn't, you know, I had a mix of like laughter and like, oh shoot.

Um, at the same time.

But what I love about that is that it's just so his nature.

He's one of the most like generous people, um, and he just loves to feed people, he loves a party, he loves everything being fun.

So it was like I could see that when he was five.

My name's Avita, and um I have two kids with my husband, John.

Uh we have Rachel, who's 11, and Nathaniel, who's seven.

Uh funny story I have.

Um, Nathan loves dinosaurs.

He's always thinking about dinosaurs, wondering about dinosaurs.

And one day we were in the car, they were in the back the back of the car, and Nathan goes, If dinosaurs are all dead, does that mean they're all in heaven?

And I needed a time to process the question.

But Rachel stepped in immediately without even thinking about it.

She's like, Well, it depends if they believe in Jesus.

So it's these conversations that we're around.

That's so the what I have fun with.

These conversations, I don't even put like heaven and dinosaurs together in my mind, so that was really fun.

And that's so good.

Like not only seeing their personalities, but seeing that childlike wonder and faith, and then I think so often we can learn.

Our kids get theology a lot of times even better than we do.

We complicate it and add things to it, and so it's so beautiful.

I'm Jen.

I'm married to Dave, and he's um on staff here.

We're new here, we've just been here since December.

So, new Californians learning all about California.

This is how California is, it rains all the time.

Anyway, he said it was a softball question, but when you have six kids, it's not so much of a softball thinking about remembering all their ages.

Um, my oldest though just turned 25, so I remember that.

Uh we have we have five boys and one girl and two daughter-in-laws and two grandkids.

So uh Connor, my oldest is 25.

I think they go 23, 21, 19, and then 12.

We have twin boys.

So they were the surprise at the end and a big surprise.

Um, and more boys.

So we have a very full house of boys.

And one of the memories, kind of funny, but kind of not funny, kind of scary, uh, was when my first three boys, again, it was just boom, boom, boom, and we lived in a house that like the property was like on an angle.

So the house, um, you know, the the way the deck was and everything, I'm trying to paint the picture.

But basically from the deck, you could climb up to part of the roof, and it was like just easy access.

Like they were not thinking about kids when they built it.

It was a very old house.

Anyway, so my oldest began, actually, it might have been the second oldest first.

He's more of a daredevil, but one of them began first climbing up, and it was a pretty, you know, good drop down there with concrete at the bottom.

And then, and the older two, like again, it was dangerous for anybody, but they were a little bit better.

But then Riley, who was my third, he was pretty young at the time, and I thank goodness came out right at the time he was about to climb up.

So those are kind of like that, it's not really very funny, but it's looking back, you can say it's funny because nobody got hurt, but like lots of stuff like that for me, like just pushing the limits and finding them in all sorts of you know, crazy situations.

It's kind of our family.

I'm just a little more stressed right now, but uh yeah.

But it's it happens all the time, especially with boys, I'm sure, but uh they're climbing, find the highest spot, and yeah, yeah, you get it.

Uh so thought maybe being a mom today is challenging.

There's all sorts of pressures and demands, uh having the picture perfect, Instagram post, family.

Um what are some of those challenges?

What are some of the things that uh are on moms and on you?

How have you navigated those?

Not all at once, please.

This is um well, one of the challenges that I see, and it I don't think it's necessarily unique to moms, but we do add our own flavor to it.

And it's the formation of standards for ourselves.

Um and and the the challenge to that is there's so many things that want to feed the the standards that we form.

Not that standards are bad, and I think standards are good to a healthy extent, but then if we allow the world, like worldly ideas, to feed those standards, all too quickly we can believe the lie that we are not good enough or we are too much, and those are not what God intended us to walk with.

And the way I have found a really powerful way to navigate that is through the word of God and letting the word of God be our standard, the standard for our lives.

And an example of that is I love Joanna Gaines.

And if I allowed her life to be to shape the standards for my life, where she's flipping houses one day, attending to her garden the next day, creating a recipe book the next day, and then being on a talk show the following day, I will just be weary, exhausted.

And I was not designed for that life.

But the word of God says we are his masterpiece, we are created and in Christ Jesus, and he has prepared good works for us that we should walk in them.

And for that to be my standard, there's specific things that God designed for me and prepared for me, and how freeing and joy and life-giving is that standard, right?

So, as much as I admire what she does, it's more from a perspective of wow, God, you've designed her amazingly, but also God, thank you for how you have designed me and the good work that you have prepared for me.

Yeah.

I love that.

Can we double click on that just a little bit?

Yeah, that is so good.

Yeah.

Drop the mic, Evita spoke.

But but what you're getting at is comparison.

And and comparison, we know this kills joy, it kills your purpose, it robs you of life.

Um, and we have it all the more.

And you have twofolds of it comparing up, like two a Joanna Gaines, or comparing down, like, oh, at least I'm better than them, you know.

But talk a little bit more on comparison and and how to navigate that.

Yeah, and I think for me, you know, one of the things is realizing that there are lots of good ways to be a mom.

There's lots of good uh choices, and it's not only one.

I think when you first become a mom, especially for me, I think you you want to like, what's the right thing?

What should I do?

What should I say?

And you kind of see it as more of like a stepping stone type of thing, like that there's kind of one way.

And yes, we have the Bible and it is guiding us, and there are principles and truths in there, but even within that, there are, you know, there's a variation because we're all wired differently, we have different backgrounds, all that type of thing.

And I think for me, having good friends, finding friendships in those moments were really helpful because we would, you know, kind of not compare in the bad way, but compare and contrast, like you know, what is it like for you when your son or daughter does this?

What you know, and you go back and forth, but you also, like Evita said, we're all made in the image of God.

So there's these good things, the ways God has made us.

But being a mom and being like completely for me anyway, I was brought to the end of myself, and I was so desperate and I felt so overwhelmed, and I felt just, you know, I failed and messed up, and I felt so sometimes so ashamed on how I was.

But through those friendships and through seeking God, you realize, yes, okay, um He does cover us, right?

He covers us and He helps us, and really that's that's how we are as humans, anyway.

Needy people, and becoming a mom made me very, very needy, but realizing, okay, there's this um just I don't know, there's freedom, there's freedom, and there's not this one way to be a mom, you know, that's big for me anyway, was big.

Yeah, so good.

I keep getting locked into what you guys are saying.

Um yeah, I actually was really reflective on my own childhood, and I was born in 1979, and you know, the 80s, there's I mean, this is gonna shock you guys, but there's no internet or you know, cell phones, and you just go to your friend's house and you come back when it's dark, and you know, the pace was so different, and our we were it was easier to be present and really where you were, and I think a challenge now is really how to be present and how to slow down our pace.

I think technology and just being able to be connected all the time, it's nuts, it's not good.

So, how do you be present?

Because it is such a challenge, a challenge for all of us, right?

I mean, our phones are constantly calling us, yeah.

You can be just desk scroll on watches, sure, what everything, you know.

Maybe some of you have glasses too, who knows?

Um but but what are some practices of presence in the day and age that we have that are helpful of just enjoying or the small moments with your kids?

I mean, I think for me, part of it is just literally letting something go, letting something that's calling your name go, if you can.

Obviously, you know, we juggle a lot, and especially for those of you in families that both uh spout, you know, both are working full-time, then that's even more of a challenge.

But get creative on how you do this, I think.

But is just stopping.

Like when my kids were little, I mean, just sitting on the floor, literally sitting on the floor and like playing and just you know, being intentional about stopping, I think, and being with them.

And there's a whole thing about obviously listening.

Um, as they get older, I found that you kind of have to look for those moments and opportunities, you know, as they head into their middle school and high school years, because um they they don't want to hear from you as much, you know, as when they were when they were younger.

Um, but there are times, there are times that kind of and you have to pay attention to when those times come and ask God to lead you in that and then put put it down, whatever it is, put the phone down, put the whatever's calling your name.

I mean, kind of a little bit obvious, but but I think we don't do it because it's easy not to, right?

Well, I think that's so good and so important, especially as kids get into the teenage stage and we have three teenagers, is teenagers want to talk when they want to talk.

And if we're not ready and present, they're not wanting to talk later.

And we often miss it.

I often miss it as a parent because like I have my time, I have this, and like I actually something you do really well is very present, especially late at night, I'm asleep.

Um but that's a great time of just you're being very present because you can't force those conversations and allowing the space of when they're ready to talk, okay, I'm gonna put that away.

I'm gonna be present.

What about for well?

I started kind of tangenting in my head as we were talking, even about how in order to be present with our kids, we actually need to be present with God.

Like how also technology takes away from us being present with God.

And I was thinking, you know, we wish we had a book in the Bible that was just all about parenting, where it was like chapter one, you know, when the baby's born, this is what you do, and then chapter two, when they go to school, you know, pack this in their lunch.

I don't know.

There you, you know, there's just things that we wish he would lay out, or if we could email him or text him, like, can you please just help us with this?

But that is not what he gave us.

He really wants us to be present with him and be in relationship with him for us to lead us in the daily, in the moments.

And I just think it's cool that he designed us not just to give us a playbook or a formula, like you said, there's so many different ways to do things, but that uh he wants us to be in relationship with him and relationship with others in order to really you know do what he has for us.

Yeah, so good.

So good.

So then what are like some misconceptions maybe you had about um mothering, becoming a mother, or things that you know that are just put upon that you're like, oh that's that's not actually true, or wow, that I believe this, and it I need to actually put that away.

Um what are some of those things that you kind of bought into that you stepping in?

You're like, oh, this is this is actually helpful.

Okay.

Or he's like, who's gonna go?

Um so I think um for me, um it really had to do with like a mold, a certain kind of woman, a certain kind of mother, just based on my background, where I grew up, kind of the circles I was in, and it's gonna be different, right?

Compared to you know, your experience and what you have learned.

Because I know I was even just talking to someone recently from a different country, and it was completely different kind of thing that they handed women, like this expectations, right?

But mine was much more motherhood being the pinnacle of a woman, you know, being a woman, and you know, you should focus on your kids.

And you know, really the the message I received that was you know was working outside the home was not the best, you know, that it's fine, but it's not the best.

This is just what I, you know, grew up with.

And so I think some of those things play into like, okay, you think that's a good mother or that's a bad mother, or this person with this wiring, or like, you know, I had someone say to me one time, because I stayed home with my kids for um for most of all the time.

And she was like, Well, it was another mom actually who said, Well, like, you know, I'm not designed like that, or you're, you know, made differently, or whatever.

And there, some of that was true because I did have an education background.

I loved working with kids.

Um, so some of it was true, but not as much as the way that it was presented, like that she could never do that, you know.

I think we're such a mixture of our wiring, our personality, our background.

Um, but we we can get judgy, you know, we can get judgy and we can kind of think, well, you know, and look at each other and and um think certain things.

And I think we need to move away from that.

And that's not just for moms, that's for all areas, right?

And realize that God, like Evita was saying, God created us, you know, we have things in us that are supposed to shine forth in our certain tasks, our certain jobs, whatever.

And we need to give each other freedom.

We need to give each other freedom and cheer each other on and um kind of move away some of those preconceived ideas and like recognize them when they come up.

So a lot of mine was about that mold of being like just this one way, you know.

And I just think that's just not true, you know, it's just not true.

Yeah, and that's so good and so hard.

I mean, we I think we've become more judgmental in the last few years, not less.

Um, and one of the questions we ask around here a lot in helping with that is what's the most generous explanation for their behavior?

And just having that posture because we can assume motives or assume upon all these other things, and we have no idea the context.

We have no idea why their kid is going crazy and target, you know, and and yet we've all been there and been that parent there and we're all broken and flawed in some way, all of us, no matter what.

Yeah, absolutely.

We need God and we need his help and grace, you know.

Just to add to what you were saying about there's one certain way to be that to be in that role, and then we make that into our identity.

I think that's a misconception that I'm a mom, this is who I am now, or whatever that means to you, if it relates to your role at work or um your status in life, whatever that looks like, we make that into our identity, and then that overshadows the our truest identity in Christ.

And I think we um because of that misconception, we lose sight of what God, the source of our identity, declares about us.

He says that we are his masterpiece, that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

We are made in his image, and it's very important that we we drive this truth to our core, that our identity is something that the Lord declares about us and not any role.

The roles that we that we do in life, it doesn't decl it doesn't um define our identity because it's important that we we understand and move forth from from that certainty and security that we have in our identity in Christ.

Um my misconception was a little more personal.

Um, my story, my background is my dad left before I could remember him being around, and my mom was a single mom with me till I was eight.

And there's kind of some of these labels that you can feel can be put on you at times of, you know, this is kind of your projection.

Um and there actually has been some really um sweet moments that I've had with the Lord as I went into being a mom.

And um I actually had this one time where Ryan came home from work and Ella ran to the door and she was like, Daddy, daddy, and she gave him this big hug.

And um, it was so powerful for me because I never remember my dad being home, you know, and or I never had that moment.

And I just was reminded that God is in the business of bringing dead things to life and that he redeems things that are broken, and he brings beauty out of ashes, and that he's always creating new stories.

And so, um so I know there's a lot of people with tough stories, either that they grew up in or that they're in right now, you know, single parents, widows, so many different things.

And I just want to remind you that that God is for you, that he loves you, that he's still writing your story, and um yeah.

So good.

Um and we have a lot of like new moms, we just got to celebrate and uh baby and child dedications, and um, I think uh COVID is then the next baby boom um around here, or at least at awakening, that's true.

I don't know if anywhere else.

Um but if you could go back in time and and give yourself some advice, what would it be?

What are some of those things as you start out as a new mom?

Uh, and we have moms to be in the room as well.

So, you know, one of the things it's not necessarily advice, but one of the things I would say to myself is it's gonna be okay.

You're gonna be okay.

Because I was so overwhelmed with Can you say that again, just slower?

Some people just needed to hear that one line.

Yeah, that it's gonna be okay, and that you're gonna be okay.

Uh it's it's hard, you know.

Parenting is hard.

Having little ones, I mean, here they come and they need everything.

They need everything from you.

And it's just it's overwhelming, you know.

Um, beginning, sleep deprivation, you know, are they hungry?

Are they um do they need a new diaper?

All the questions, right?

That you don't know, they can't talk to you.

I mean, it's just so overwhelming.

Uh so I would remind myself and say, you know, it's gonna be okay.

And keep seeking God though.

I mean, seek God, like in your desperation.

I mean, really, motherhood for me brought me to my knees, brought me, I mean, flat out on the floor.

Um, first time I ever prayed on my face because I so needed it, and then because I heard about, I never even heard of like actually praying on your face, laying straight down until a Bible teacher talked about it.

But in my motherhood, like that was the position that it brought me to because I was so overwhelmed.

Now, that doesn't mean I didn't have fun moments and good moments as well.

Um, I, you know, had that education background, um, was a kid person, but I was just really surprised at my weakness.

I was really like caught off guard by how mean I could be, how I just, you know, wouldn't handle situations well.

And uh, and so, you know, going to God and just being real open and honest, crying, literally crying, just crying to God, you know, asking him for help.

And from there, I mean, I developed a really, really tight relationship with God through my brokenness and through my failure as a mom.

And so, you know, I'd be like, keep doing that, that's good.

And then it becomes an authentic thing for you, you know, as you are, and this can be true, not as a mom, anywhere, right?

Where you're overwhelmed and you just need God's help, but you're crying out in desperation and you want to know, okay, what what do you say?

What do you say about me?

Wait a minute, what about this?

And it's like this wrestling dialogue.

And then he, of course, reminds you of his love and how unconditional it is.

And you get reminded of these truths and you build this authentic relationship uh with Jesus.

That's um, and then your kids watch that, you know.

Yes, you're gonna be telling your kids, you know, yes and no, and and that type of thing, but as they watch you develop this relationship, uh, to me that's you know one of the most important things.

Um the question was uh giving advice to you know, if you could go back and give yourself advice, moms.

There we go.

Well, mine is more uh within a context of hardship and suffering.

Um my husband and I have been parenting in a very long period now of hardship.

In 2018, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Did treatment was declared to be in remission in 2021.

I was diagnosed with recurrent breast cancer recurrence, and it has been really, really rough for us to parent within that um space of uh hardship.

And three things I'm learning from that journey that I'd like to share today.

One is to to ask for help.

I think it's such a brave thing to do to ask for help.

And also the second is to allow the body of Christ to love you, to let yourself be loved by the body of Christ.

I think this whole idea of powering through, power through it, it you hit the wall really fast, you get weary and exhausted really fast.

But the love of Christ that's demonstrated demonstrated through his body, it's never running out.

It's abundant and it's overflowing and it strengthens you.

And the last um piece of advice that I I've actually learned through If Gathering, which is a conference, um, and this is something that Katherine Wolf had spoken, she said, and this was three days after I received my second diagnosis through the conference.

She said, Steward, you're suffering well.

And I was so surprised to hear that.

I didn't know suffering was something to steward.

It seemed to me at before it was a time to just lean into God and you know get through it, but it was something to steward well.

And really what that meant to me was placing my suffering in the hands of Jesus, and then suffering and hardship and um loss and grief and all of these hard things to become powerful pieces of our story in the hands of Jesus.

And so I just encourage you all not that not to embrace.

I'm not saying, oh, I love my suffering now, it's not that, but to trust that there's power in your suffering when you place it in the hands of Jesus.

Um the word that just kept coming up for me as I was just praying for this time that I felt like God wanted me to say was just grace.

And that's something that we can say flippantly, but I think it's something that there's just so many layers to it and so much depth, and I don't think we'll ever fully grasp it until we're face to face with Jesus.

But when you're around people that understand grace and that just live in grace and just flow grace to those around them, they're really great to be around, right?

Like you just know that you're loved and um you're just you're drawn to them.

And anyway, so just yeah, I think grace in a few different ways, grace with ourselves that I mean, I just had to tell my son this yesterday.

I'm so sorry, honey.

I blow it every day, every day.

But just tell me, tell me when I'm blowing it.

I can take it.

I'm a grown-up, but like just I want you to tell me because I want to grow and I want to not do it again.

I just do it out of ignorance and not knowing.

Um and uh and so asking for grace from our kids, giving grace to our kids, our spouses, all I mean, understanding God's grace for I mean, you know, it goes on and on.

But I think grace is actually such a key for everything, especially parenting right now with Pinterest and TikTok.

And you know, my mom didn't make gluten-free, dairy-free meals with like a picture perfect home, but she loved me and she like had so much grace with me.

And I think that sometimes our our priorities get out of line and out of whack, and um yeah, so grace.

Yeah, that's so good.

And I think it's just important, like, take the pressure off.

Like live under like this immense pressure that we put upon ourselves or culture puts upon us.

And um, I like how my brother says it, all our kids are gonna need counseling because of our parenting.

Um, it's true.

Uh, our goal is just to be friends with them and pay for their counseling, you know.

I think uh because none of us are gonna be perfect parents, and none of us are gonna do it perfectly.

Uh, it was a while ago through a conversation Jenny and I were having and with some friends and talking about family of orchids uh things, that I came to realize I really believe this verse is one of the most powerful parenting verses in scriptures.

Uh Peter talks about it, and it's also in Proverbs.

Uh that um, oh and I just went blank on it.

Um thank you.

Uh love covers a multitude of sins.

Like, think about that.

Uh not getting it all right, figuring it all out, doing it just, you know, okay, I ferberized whatever it is, you know.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

If your kids really know how much you love them and that they're anchored in that, it covers so much.

And you just, you know, we just had this conversation getting to see the different aspects of family and homes, and whether you looked at it and it was perfect or great, or all the butt when really understanding love, it's like it just covered all of that.

It's so powerful.

Jen, you were about to say something.

I don't know if you remember, but you're I'm not sure.

But yeah.

But I can But you can now.

Well, here's the thing.

I was telling them, I have lots to say.

So it for me, it's more about being quiet and listening and let other people have a turn because I will just go off and off.

I'm from New Jersey.

I talk fast, I talk a lot.

Um, so just I guess just adding on to the whole advice and looking back, um, and the grace piece too.

I think it's this whole thing of like focusing on learning to get to know your kids.

We talked a little bit about that the first service, like getting to know them, their wiring, and doing things maybe a little bit differently depending on the child and what they need, and also getting to know if you're married, getting to know your spouse and what they need.

And I think when you bring kids into the picture, it sort of like throws everything, you know, into a different different orbit, right?

And you're figuring out, okay, what what does what does my husband need, or what does my wife need?

And um, and then what do I need?

Like as a mom, what do I need?

Okay, here I am, and I need a break.

All right, we'll take a break.

Figure that out, you know.

I need, you know, maybe one person needs it more neat and tidy, and another person's okay with mess.

Like that's one of our things.

Um, so one of the funny memories that I have is when I um we were preparing.

Well, no, I forgot to prepare.

We were having someone come over and I forgot that they were coming over for dinner.

And literally the house, again, I had four that my first four were four, five, and under, three of them are boys.

So it was just, and I'm okay with mess.

So the place, and I'm okay with sitting down, letting things go.

Other people like might need to do their dishes first before they can relax.

I'm fine, dishes can pile up, I can relax.

And well, I forgot this one day.

So there they come in the door, and I literally remember screaming, like, ha, like, oh my gosh, I was so embarrassed, but not a big deal.

It ended up not being a big deal.

But I had another um someone ahead of me, and she had this little saying, and it just stuck in my head, and she was from the south, and she so she said it in a southern accent.

She's like, she would have college students over, and she would have she had four little kids too, and she's like, she just tells them, just kick a path, just kick a path, find your way, you know, let just come on in my house.

And so there is something about that, but but it's all based in God's grace because we don't, we don't have to have everything all together and perfect.

And when we mess up, I love the whole thing about saying sorry, like say sorry quickly.

Yeah, I I'm sorry, I did this.

You know, I did this, I own it, and then you own it, and then your kids learn to own it.

And so um, yeah, it's really beautiful how God really does just does just enter in and his grace.

Um, even having a picture of like the picture of his blood, um, you know, might sound weird, but you know, when you're thinking about Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, and you think about how weak and just the cracks, the mess, the things that we mess up, and how it just it fills and it covers.

It really does.

He covers us and he helps us, like you're talking about.

So just some other things that um kind of learned along the way and have become real along the way, you know, it becomes real, his grace and his mercy and forgiveness.

So good.

I um was just reminded of um I heard this recently that not only are each of our kids so different, but each of our kids were different parents to each of our kids.

Wait, I didn't say that right.

They experienced a different parent.

Yeah, they experience a different parent.

Each kid experiences a different parent.

That's what I'm trying to say.

Um, which was kind of mind-blowing to me because we kind of think, oh, well, this is how my kids think of me as a parent, but we all interact so differently, um, which was kind of cool.

Like it's so individual, and then learning how we are with that.

And I think one of the biggest things for us has actually really been always prioritizing dinners with families that are a step ahead of us that we really respect, and that we love their kids, we love their family relationships, and just gleaning and getting as many questions in as we can of just, you know, what do you do?

So yeah, it's so good.

You've done actually an awesome job uh at prioritizing that with us.

And we were just with some mentors a week ago, and we're talking about this empty nester phase that we're heading towards because our daughter's going off to college, and Jenny's going, well, everything um is done, it's over.

We're uh it's basically everything's dying and going downhill.

And I'm like, Well, I'm still here.

Um thank you.

It's whatever.

Um but I think even in the parenting, we can put you know so much on a pedestal and others on a pedestal, and some of our mentors were saying, Well, what family in the Bible do you really want to be like?

And the answer she said is you better say none of them.

Because they're all screwed up, they're all messed up, and back to grace of like, and God's grace poured in through all of those areas.

Uh what any last thoughts, anything else before we go?

Anything that you know God's been laying on your heart that you go, like, man, I really want to say this to our community.

Uh I guess one other thing that I would add is the prayer piece, which is kind of obvious.

Uh, but I guess I want to just encourage everyone to pray being persistent, being persistent in prayer.

And just realizing that a lot of times as we pray, you might not see the answer right away.

Sometimes it does, sometimes you pray and you get an answer really quickly.

But when you're praying for your kids and you're pouring in your kids over this long haul, um, to be persistent and to wait and to hope.

There's a lot of waiting and a lot of hoping as we parent, and to be patient, and to be patient with them and know that God hears, and God knows the exact things you're struggling with as a parent.

God knows exactly the things that your children are are going through.

And sometimes you're gonna get it right where you're filling in those needs, and other times you're gonna mess up, but but to continue to seek and pray and ask God and learn how to pray, learn how to pray like with the Bible so that you're praying with confidence.

I learned that through some older moms.

How can I pray with confidence, like authority, that this is something I can pray and know that God is gonna answer?

Might not look exactly, but um, I've seen God answer in different ways over time.

Um, I'm just so thankful that how He's so faithful.

So I did not sleep last night.

I think I just kept getting hot and cold and tossing all around.

I don't know.

I just did not Yeah, it was finally a sunny day.

Our house got hot.

I know, it was like, oh, fine, yeah.

Anyways, I woke up with like that brain fog that moms with newborns have, and I was like, Lord, are you trying to remind me how awful this is?

You're trying to bring me back to that stage.

But I was thinking back to when I had had Ella and I had a mentor of mine say, I was talking to her about, you know, I I didn't even have any brain power to read a sentence or do anything.

Um, and she was like, What you need to do is you get a timer and you set it for five minutes, and you get a cute little basket, and you put it by a chair, you put your Bible blanket, a pen, a blanket, and a candle.

And you make it this space that you, if you have any bit of time, you just go over there, you set your timer so that you just feel like, you know, and sometimes it's gonna go longer, sometimes it's gonna go shorter, but it kind of gave me that grace of it doesn't have to be, it's not gonna be what it was pre-baby, or you know, we have to learn the different seasons.

But um, that was something that I was reminded of for just those little little years that that was kind of a game changer for me.

And and even just recently, I heard about this concept of having one-minute Sabbaths throughout your day and just pulling back for one minute and connecting with the Lord and keeping things silent, and we get so extreme in our culture, it has to be like sun, sundown to sundown or sunrise to sunrise, or so extreme that we don't do it, right?

So I love that idea of how do we have these one-minute Sabbaths throughout our day.

Well, there was um, as I was preparing for this time, there's one word from Psalm 18 that keep kept um just being at the top of my mind.

And I'm just gonna read the verse.

It's Psalm 18, 33, 32 and 33.

It says, God arms me with strength and he makes my way perfect.

He makes me as sure footed as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights.

And that word, sure footed, has been stuck in my mind.

It felt like something that um our church community needed to hear, and that's how intimately the Lord walks with us and he makes us sure footed.

It's not a common word we use about our journey, about the way we navigate life.

And he it says he enables us to stand on mountain heights.

And I haven't really been way up high there, but I imagine it's rocky and it's scary, and it's unstable and slippery, and you can fall, and over it's overwhelming, like all these things.

It feels like life, but he makes us as sure footed as a deer.

And so I just wanted to leave that a word with you with and however that relates to your life.

It's something that the Lord makes you, and he is faithful to make to create that about you.

So, yeah, sure footed.

Oh, that's so good.

Can we thank these moms?

Uh, thank you all.

And Jenny, I'm gonna ask you to just pray over everyone in just a second.

And as we close, why don't you go ahead and stand and we'll stand with you.

We're gonna continue in worship.

Uh, the passage that constantly goes through my head, in fact, I write this in my journal probably three, four, five times because I need to be reminded of it.

I just want to remind you back to what you're saying, Avita, is where it says, His mercy is new every morning.

Great is his faithfulness.

Like today, you woke up to new mercy.

Moms, you woke up to new mercy, and tomorrow you're gonna wake up to new mercy.

And it's not because of your faithfulness, not because of how well you've done it, it's his faithfulness.

His faithfulness is over you and for you, and will provide that sure footing.

And so you have new mercy today.

Jay, would you pray?

Yeah, God, I thank you.

I thank you that you're here with us.

I thank you.

We aren't just here gathering, talking empty words, but we're actually in your presence.

I thank you that you're here to meet with us, Lord.

And so I just pray that we will just connect with you, that we will have ears that are attentive to your voice and hearts that are just tender to your spirit.

God, I pray that we'll all leave with just a little nugget from you, something that you just want to say, whether it's just that reminder of grace, that you're loved, you're accepted exactly how you are and where you are, um, that word of sure-footedness, um, that there's no formula, um, or not being judgmental towards others or ourselves, being hard on ourselves as well, God.

I just pray that we will just be people that are just led by your grace and that people experience you when they meet with us, God.

And we just pray for these moms.

We pray they get spoiled today.

We pray that they get really good sleep tonight, and um, that their kids just give them an extra abundance of love.

You're so good, you're so worthy of our time, affection, our motives, everything that we are, Lord.

And so we praise you and we worship you in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Let's worship together.

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