Marriage Material: Building Materials | Part 2

Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast.

We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ.

Thanks for tuning in.

Well, good morning, Awakening.

How are we doing?

Oh, I love that.

I love that.

Hey.

Great to be with you.

We're in a series uh called Marriage Material, and we're simply asking this question.

How do you experience a strong, vibrant marriage that lasts for a lifetime?

And here's what we said last week that a strong, vibrant marriage doesn't just happen, it's built.

It's not left up to chance or luck.

You just don't hope for it.

Maybe you, you know, just like oh, it go into autopilot and it just works out.

It's actually built.

Um last week I gave you this illustration.

We talked about Surf City, Florida.

And Surf City, Florida, famous for, you know, a retreat in OASIS for the rich and famous just outside of Miami in 2021, became famous for the sudden overnight collapse of a condominium that tragically killed uh 98 people.

And uh the National Institute for Standards and Technology uh spent$30 million to investigate what happened so it doesn't happen again.

And they came away with four key findings.

First, there was significant foundational issues that was the main error in the collapse.

The second was that there was quality of building materials, though it passed inspections, it did, they took shortcuts in the building materials that led to the collapse.

Third, uh, there was um added stress to the structure that was not planned on, that just created more and more strain that eventually collapsed it.

And fourth, finally, it was deferred maintenance.

Uh actually, the HOA two years before uh did a whole um research and approved$15 million in deferred maintenance that were critical, and they never got around to it.

Now, here's what we've doing, what we are doing is we're using these four key findings uh as our outline for this series and how do you build a great, strong, vibrant marriage.

Last week we talked about it's foundational.

Today we're gonna talk about quality of materials.

Next week, Father's Day, we're gonna talk about added stress to the structure.

Uh, and then deferred maintenance will close that out with all the things we know are important, but we put off because they're not quite urgent until it's too late.

And one of the things I'm hoping to do, we're gonna do, is that you don't just get a hear from me throughout this, is that you actually get a hear from my wife as well.

I've been married for 21 years, have three incredible kids, uh, Ella, Ryder, and Miles.

You know, we're in that launching phase where our first just came back from their first year of college, and then you know, that whole season.

And so I thought it'd be great if you got to hear a little bit.

So I we have these interviews that we did that are just kind of each week gonna kick off our time together.

Why don't you check it out?

All right, you ready, Glenn?

We're rolling.

We're rolling.

Um, one of the things that we've done over the course of our marriage, you led the charge on this uh in so many ways, was just get around couples that um are further ahead, that we admire, that we see the way their marriage is, their family is, that we just want to be like them.

Um, why is that so important to us?

Uh what were those qualities that we saw in those couples and families?

And then how how do you find those types of couples?

I think that's hard.

It's like, how do you actually find these types of people to get around and to learn from?

Alright, so I asked you a bunch of questions.

Um let's start just at the top.

Like, why is that so important for us?

Um specifically thinking of like the little years and middle school years and having times where we felt either we were stuck in our marriage or we were overwhelmed with something with the kids.

And we just we felt stuck and we didn't have the money to do counseling, and we actually every once in a while we'd meet someone where it'd be like, they are they're pretty amazing.

Yeah, yeah.

Every time we had that kind of inkling of I want to get to know them more, like there's kind of a settledness to them, like a grounding.

Um I think we would try and just take them out to dinner or have them over do something.

And was such an important thing for us to be able to process some things.

And a lot of times, see, we were just talking about this the other day.

Some of our friends that are still good friends of ours, almost always I would have this um reminder of it's not the end of the world, you know.

Yeah, we after you talked with them.

Yeah, yeah, because everything feels so big, like you're gonna screw your kids up, well, you make it through.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, yeah, and they would help us zoom out, be like, your kids are gonna be fine.

Yeah, it's not, you know.

Um that we uh weren't the only ones going through this.

They've walked through it, they've already experienced something similar.

And so I think when we would kind of have things that we would spin out on, it was really helpful to be with people that could see further and um had already walked that path before, and could just kind of say, You're gonna be okay.

Yeah.

You ask everyone, if anyone who's had kids that are further ahead the other day, it's like a little much out to eat, and our waitress had, you know.

She had five kids.

Yeah, and three of them are grown, and so then you're asking her advice.

There's just this voraciousness of learning uh from anyone, not necessarily uh I have to, you know, have this certain list.

So but what are some of the qualities that you that or I guess we look for in people that we're wanting to learn from?

Yeah.

I think actually one thing that is important is that they are honoring people.

We've all been around couples that kind of can bash their spouse or bash other people.

Um just comes out in the little comments, it can see that.

And you just know that if they're doing that with other people, they're probably doing it with you too.

And um, and then that rubs off to where, oh, well then if they're bashing their spouse, then I can do it then, and that kind of becomes a way that you connect in a super unhealthy, destructive way.

Yeah.

Um, so being around people that you can still be honest and say, this is I think that's very important.

It is a dance, like with your selective few that you know are gonna hold you to prayer, and they're going to, you know, be sure that you're also being loving in return and and hold you to that, but also be empathetic.

I mean, it's a whole it's a whole thing that we're always growing in of how to be friends, but but being around people that are really honoring to their spouse, um, they have good relationships with their kids, it doesn't mean their kids are perfect, it means that they really love their kids well.

Yeah.

Well, how did how do we go about finding we're talking about these more miniature couples?

Yeah, I mean there's no app for it.

It's just you meet somebody and it can feel awkward like you're asking them on a date or something, but it's just you know, it's just pursuing it and just asking somebody to hang out.

You just never know when you're gonna meet them, and then you don't know if you'll see them again sometimes.

Right.

So, and then even I mean, I've even done like someone I've heard speaking somewhere and then reach out to them.

It doesn't even mean you've met them personally, but I do think being across the table with people is really powerful.

I can't tell you how helpful and powerful a practice that is.

I hope that you'll incorporate that into your life regardless of whether you're married or single.

Uh, today the sermon titles Building Materials.

Go ahead and say that to your neighbor.

Building materials.

And here's what we know the quality of material directly impacts uh the beauty and longevity of what you're building.

The quality of material, like it directly impacts the beauty and the longevity of what you're building.

And and we even say something like this today, don't we?

Because when you see something that's well crafted, don't we say it?

Well, they don't build them like they used to.

Because you used to build things to last, and now we just build things to build things so that you buy new things over and over again.

Uh, you know, the other day I just I was going through my my garage and my shed, and I I just brought some building materials that I had.

I have a two by six right here.

This is really fun.

Um, I have this.

I don't really know um what that is.

This is this is just like a composite, it's like so flimsy, yeah.

You can just break it.

You don't want to build with that.

There's a certain use for that.

But then I have a two by four, which you just kind of think all two by fours are the same, right?

And I remember the first time uh we're doing a building project, uh, had an older gentleman kind of taking me under his wing, and he said, every time you go to purchase at whatever your hardware uh store is, the first thing you need to do is you grab the two by four and then you're gonna look down the line.

I literally grabbed this out of my shed, and I don't know if you can see it.

Can you see?

Yeah, you see that?

You see how I paid for that.

And you know what this is?

A waste of space.

That's right.

It is a waste of space.

It's gotta crack, it's got a bend on it.

And here's the thing that I just want to say.

When it comes to our relationships, when it comes to the building materials that we're building our marriages upon, universally it is agreed that we just can say the primary building material for a great marriage is love.

It's love.

But what I would like to suggest is that all love is not equal to the same quality.

And in fact, the big idea today is simply this building a strong, vibrant marriage is less about falling in love and more about growing in love.

In our day, we put such an emphasis on falling in love and all the movies.

I'm in love, I'm in love, you know, and it's like it's incredible, it's amazing, it feels fantastic.

And yet that feeling of love lasts anywhere from six months to about two years, uh, according to research.

And then what's holding you together?

And I'd like to suggest that we put so much emphasis on falling in love, we are unable to build a strong, vibrant marriage.

Let us grow in love.

That's the invitation.

How do we grow in love to build a strong, vibrant marriage?

I just want to give you just two thoughts on how to do that.

The first is you gotta upgrade your definition of love.

You gotta upgrade your definition of love.

What do we mean when we say I love you?

And here's part of the problem when we say I love you, we use love in all sorts of different ways.

Um, I love tacos.

I do.

I love the Dallas Cowboys.

I'm sorry, it's true.

Um, you know, and then I love my kids and I love my spouse.

We use this word in such a like multiplicity of ways.

And yet we know when we're talking about another person what we mean, but culturally, uh actually, Webster does a good job summing up kind of what we mean when we say I love you.

And Webster says love is a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person.

I just I have this feeling towards you, and it's beautiful and it's wonderful.

It's an attraction that includes sexual desire, the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship, a person you love in a romantic way.

And all of our movies and our books all do this, and it's all about falling in love.

Isn't it interesting the way we use that word, falling in love?

And then we do what?

We fall out of love.

Why isn't love more resilient, more strong?

And why do we use the word fall in love, by the way?

Did you ever think about that?

I don't know of any other time we use the word fall in a positive.

Right?

Like, think about this.

He fell off the wagon.

Like you, you, you caved to your addiction.

Uh she fell for it.

You're gullible, and then you fell in love, right?

I mean, what in the world?

We have to upgrade our definition.

And here's what I want you to hear.

This definition is good and it's helpful, and it's wonderful, but it will not build a strong and vibrant marriage that lasts for a lifetime.

Because the ebbs and flow of marriage are there times when you feel in love, and there's times where you do not feel in love.

In fact, you may not really want to love them, you might even loathe them, and you need a better building material.

We need a better building material than just our feelings.

And the Apostle Paul, as you know, as I know, defined love.

You know, in what we call the love chapter, 1 Corinthians 13.

By the way, it's sandwiched between how the gifts of the Spirit are to be used in the body of Christ.

This is not a marriage chapter, this is a church chapter.

And yet we only hear it at weddings, and so we think of it as this kind of lovey-dovey thing that's read at a wedding, and it's like, oh, isn't that nice?

And those wonderful sentiments.

This was never intended to be a sentiment.

It's powerful, it's profound, it's the sturdiness to build a strong and vibrant marriage.

It's the upgrade that you need, that we need.

He begins in 1 Corinthians 13 this way, in redefining love.

The apostle Paul says it this way: love is, and by the way, he's gonna tell us two things that love is, eight things love doesn't do, and four things love always does.

And I love this.

When he defines love, he brings it to its simplicity.

He says, love is, it's, and so instead of it being a feeling, he says, no, it's a noun, or a verb, rather.

It's a verb, it's a choice.

I am choosing this activity.

That's the reason the Bible actually commands us to love.

You can't command a feeling, but you can command an action.

The Apostle Paul says, love is patient, love is kind.

Patience is to be even-tempered while enduring trying circumstances, to bear up under provocation without complaint, the capacity to be wronged and not retaliate.

Synonym, long suffering, forbearance.

See, when you first are married or dating, opposites attract, don't they?

I love that he's so spontaneous.

I love that she's so organized.

I love that.

And then as you're married a little bit longer, their differences seem to irritate you more and more, don't they?

And he says, no, no, no, there's a patience that needs the capacity to be wrong and not retaliate.

That I would have this long suffering.

And then he goes on and says, Love is kind.

Kindness is to be warm-hearted, merciful, gentle, considerate, sympathetic, to provide something beneficial for someone.

And I love this.

I think this is the best definition for kindness.

Kindness is to choose the best.

And we confuse kindness and niceness all the time, don't we?

Where we want to we want to be kind, but honestly, we're just nice.

Like, so nice is simply this.

Let's say we're having a conversation, you see something in my teeth.

I'm about to get up to speak, and you talk and smile and say, Hey, go get them.

I'm like, wow, that's fantastic.

Thank you.

And I get up in front and I have like a big old piece of green lettuce in my teeth.

You were nice to me, but you were not kind to me, right?

The kind person goes, Oh my gosh, Ryan, hang on just a second.

I know it might be a little embarrassing, but you got a little something right here.

Oh, thank you very much.

And then I'm not going up on stage with a whole, you know, salad in my grill.

That's kind.

In fact, I remember uh years ago, my wife was as deeply kind to me.

And it was actually hard to hear.

We were hanging out with some of our dear friends over in Santa Cruz.

One of them's a pastor, too, and there was this notable pastor that makes some big decisions and changes uh just in direction of what he was doing.

And around that table, I became very critical of him.

I don't know him, never met him, don't know the reasons why, but apparently in that moment, I was the expert on what is right and what he should be doing with his life.

We're driving home.

And Jenny was the most kind person she could be.

She said, you know, I just felt uneasy about that conversation.

And we don't know him and his circumstance, and I don't think we should be really talking about people that way.

Oh my gosh, you're right.

We emailed our friends and apologized.

See, kindness chooses the very best.

Love is patient, love is kind.

Then he goes on to say, this is what love doesn't do.

Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrong.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

It doesn't envy.

Envy is to set one's heart on something that belongs to someone else, become painfully desirous of another's advantage, have intense negative feelings over another's achievement or success or jealousy.

We can envy our spouse, the personality they have.

Oh, I wish I just was more like them.

The freedom that they have, I wish I could do things guilt-free the way they do things guilt-free.

We can envy other people's marriages, and we compare other people's highlight reels to our real life of marriages, and I just wish we were more like them.

We can compare the singles and go, like, oh man, wasn't it good in the single days?

We could travel, do whatever we want, I could sleep in.

And we compare to TV and Instagram and books.

Where are you tempted to compare?

It says, love does not envy.

There's a contentment.

Love does not boast, it does not heap praise on oneself, exhibiting self-importance, bragging.

You're not at the center of the universe.

Do you bring conversations back to yourself?

Are you constantly bringing it back to you?

Well, I have this, well, I have this, well, I have this.

Are you a one-upper?

Yeah?

Like, I mean, someone's telling a story and like, well, let me tell you what happened to me.

That, yeah, I I I get it that both your legs are broken that accident, but let me tell you what happened to me.

You know, you just have to one up someone.

I had a sprained ankle.

It was, it was, it was awful.

Um does not envy, does not boast, is not proud.

Proud is to be arrogant, conceived of as being puffed up with air, and then literally the word.

Means to inflate oneself, to have an exaggerated self-conception, conceitedness.

And pride, friends, is almost impossible to see in the mirror, and yet we're so good at seeing it in other people.

Pride, what is proud response?

Well, it's an unwillingness to apologize, to admit your wrongs, is to be argumentative.

I do that a lot.

I always have to be right, and then I'm like, oh, I'll Google it to show you that I'm right.

It's pride.

Self-absorbed, having either too high or too low of a view.

You're playing the victim.

It's all about you.

It does not dishonor to act unbecomingly, to shame, to behave indexently, disgracefully, or to be rude.

It does not dishonor another.

Jenny was talking about honor.

It's so powerful.

And we can dishonor with our words.

When we are critical, putting down those passive-aggressive comments, those little cutting things, you can even say it with a smile.

You can even say it jokingly, and then it just seeps down in.

We can do it with our actions and how we respond to one another.

Let me tell you one of the ways that I've just chosen, and we have chosen just to honor each other, you know, physically.

I've chosen just as a pastor to adopt what kind of is called the Billy Graham rule.

Maybe you've heard of it, maybe you haven't, but Billy Graham, uh, incredible evangelist, passed away several years ago.

Uh what's great about him, he lived a life not only godly but with no scandals.

He finished well.

And he just had a rule that he was never gonna be in a car alone with another female, you know, that wasn't his wife or kids, uh, family member.

And you may not like that rule.

I don't care if you like that rule.

I want to finish well and honor my spouse.

And so I just know there's ways that I interact that I could in my single days that I cannot in my married days.

There's ways that I'm gonna interact when it comes to texting or emailing or online that is honoring to you.

Love does not dishonor.

Uh I've shared this many times, but high school I got addicted to pornography.

It followed me into college, and then it followed into my marriage.

Oh, the pain that it brought my wife.

I'm just so sorry.

And I know this isn't just a male thing, females struggle with this.

Uh uh Job would say it this way: I've made a covenant with my eyes, not to look lustfully upon a woman.

And where we go with our eyes, how are we going to honor our spouse?

With our words, how are we going to honor our spouse?

And where we actually take it seriously.

Love does not dishonor.

Love is not self-seeking, does not insist on one's own way or demand their way, doesn't make sure it always works out for themselves.

Love is not easily angered or irritable.

Oh, this one hurts.

Because I can be easily angered to provoked, a state of irritation, expressed into arguments.

Um we interpret the other person's actions and give them the worst case for why they did what they did.

Let me explain.

When and I've used this illustration quite a few times.

Jenny says, I need a new one, I'll work on it.

Um, she's right, she's right.

When we're in our early day married, uh Jenny would take my things and put them on a pile on my side table.

Now I hate piles.

Piles are of the devil.

And I gotta tell you that the minute I see a pile, I get overwhelmed, and I'd rather throw the pile away than go through it.

That's just my first- I hate it.

And I would come home and I would I I consider myself a free organizer, and so I freely organize my stuff around the house.

I would drop off my wallet over here, my work stuff over here, uh, everything, and I know where it's at because I put it down.

I know exactly where it's at.

And then she would pick those things up from my free organization.

How could she do that?

And then put it on a pile by my bedside table.

I can't tell you how often we got an argument over this.

I literally, as I'm telling you this, I have a flashback of a moment where I came home and I was so frustrated, I slammed the door.

I'm like angry about I'm angry about a pile.

And we've asked this question so many times, but it bears repeating.

See, love asks, what is the most generous explanation for their behavior?

What is the most generous explanation for the behavior?

Instead of assuming the worst, what is the most generous?

Like free organization is not organization at all, I've later learned.

Um it can be quite irritating when you're trying to create a beautiful, wonderful home that other people want to enjoy, not just selfish me.

What is the most generous explanation?

Love is not easily angered.

Love keeps no record of wrong.

This is an accounting term.

You're not keeping score.

It's not resentful or bitter.

It doesn't keep score in order to hold over the other person's head.

You know, I used to kind of keep score.

I'm just gonna confess it all because I think it'll help us.

And I don't have it figured out, I'm in the process growing and learning with you, too.

And I'd keep score, by the way, I'd write it down in my journal.

Uh, and here's the reason why.

And I know it's terrible, it's awful.

Um here's the reason why.

I'd write it down in my journal because I'm a terrible arguer, because I forget all the things that I wanted to bring up in the moment.

And love keeps no record of wrong.

Love does not delight in evil, wrongdoing, doing what's unjust, violating God's moral law.

I'm not gonna go down that path with you if it's against what God wants, designed for human flourishing, but rejoices with the truth, that which conforms to reality, integrity, righteousness, holiness.

Love does not, and then it says, love always.

It's consistent, unconditional.

I was talking to a friend right before the first service, and we're talking about our tattoos.

He's asking what these meant, and he's like, Oh, I got one for my daughter.

And in the name of mine, uh I had them write.

It's actually in the lettering, it's pretty amazing, quite beautiful.

He's like, This was before I knew Jesus, but I had the most profound spiritual experience and closeness with God of holding my daughter for the very first time.

And I made a promise to her, I will always love you.

I will always be there.

And so in the uh in his tattoo is in his daughter's name, is I will always.

Because there's this reality, isn't it?

That there's something in us as the like it's part of God in us.

We know that there needs to be a permanence to love.

We need that, we long for that.

This consistency and unconditionalness.

And Paul says four things: love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

It always protects to bear up and against difficulties, to keep confidence safe and consistent.

When I say I love you, I'm saying you will always be safe with me.

Your heart is safe with me.

Always trust, to believe, to put faith in in relation to God.

It is taking him at his word in relation to people.

It's not being gullible, but believing the best.

We're gonna hear that a lot, and giving the most generous explanation.

It always hopes, it longs for the very best, believes no one is beyond hope, has a confident expectation that a better tomorrow awaits, and it always perseveres, endures to wait with persistence, to face and withstand with courage, maintain a belief of course of action in the face of opposition.

Love never gives up.

If we're gonna build a strong and vibrant marriage that lasts for a lifetime, we have to upgrade our definition of love from a feeling to what the Apostle Paul says.

This is agape love, and this is the love that God in Christ has shown every single one of us.

And so, how do we do this?

And I think there's two equal and opposite errors when we hear a sermon like this.

The first is to feel defeated, isn't it?

You look at that list and go, I I mean, I can raise my hand on some, yeah, I I have to grow there.

I don't know that I could ever do that.

The other is to go, okay, I'm in.

Let's go, let's get after it.

I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna work as hard as I can.

And then eventually you'll feel like, oh.

I just feel like I just can't quite live up to that.

And so not only do we need to upgrade our definition of love, we actually need to become a learner of love.

God actually tells us how to do this.

In Ephesians chapter 5, verse 1 and 2, uh, he actually teaches us, there's a process for us to grow and learn, to make this uh definition of love become a reality in our lives.

Ephesians 5:1

He says this be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

First, I want you to notice dearly loved, and then live a life of love, and then Christ loved us.

These are three different words, cognates of the Greek word agape.

And in these three words, agapeos, uh dearly loved, agape, live a life of love, and then agapato and Christ's love.

We actually see how do we live this out practically?

And the first thing I want you to notice is what uh the Apostle Paul invites us to is to embrace that you're dearly loved.

Embrace that you're dearly loved.

Agapatos means the object of one's affection, having a very special relationship, beloved.

See, one of the challenges that we face is we have a love deficit.

And until we receive and understand that we are beloved, we will never be able to give love.

And there's some truth to the healthy self-care and self-love.

But so many people are looking internally to somehow generate love instead of going, you know what?

All the love I ever need, all the love that will fulfill me, actually is already given to me by my heavenly Father.

Your standing with God right now as a follower of Jesus is beloved, son, daughter.

Everything that the apostle Paul just said in 1 Corinthians 13 is true about how God loves you.

He's patient, he is kind, he is not rude, he will not dishonor you, he will always protect, he will always be trustful, he will persevere, he has given his very life for you.

Your standing is not how do you achieve God's love?

And so many of us grew up trying to achieve and trying to earn and somehow work our way to God or work our way to get love from our parents.

And it's again that picture, and for those of us that held a little baby that's our kid, I mean, if you held someone else's kid, it's probably not the same.

Your heart explodes.

Your heart explodes with love, and they haven't done anything.

They're just yours.

God's heart explodes with love for you, and you don't need to do anything and can't do anything.

You're just his.

And if God loves you, there's something in you that's worthy of love.

And until we embrace we're dearly loved, we'll be in a deficit, and everything else will be searching to get love from the other person that we can only get from our Heavenly Father.

And so embrace that you're dearly loved, and then commit to living a life of love.

It's a choice.

Remember, love is a choice.

Agape.

Agape is the object of one's own affection, having this very special.

No, that's agape is the self-giving, sacrificial love that gives the other what they need the most when they deserve it the least.

I'm gonna commit.

In fact, this is what I ask couples to do when they're doing premarital counseling.

Take 1 Corinthians 13, because when you're saying I love you, this is what you're saying.

And would you personalize it?

I will be patient with you, I will be kind to you.

And if you've been uh married for a long time, there's some more specifics under there that will really show you what you need to do, like, and how to honor.

And where maybe where your natural tendency, mine, I can get easily angered.

And where you just write that out.

I'm gonna commit to living a life of love.

And then finally, rely on Christ's love to empower you.

Agapeos, I am loved, I am the beloved, and in that reality, I choose to agape you.

I choose to 1 Corinthians 13 you.

And I know that I cannot do that in my strength, in my own power, and so I am making a choice, trusting that as I step to do the thing that I may not even feel like doing, Christ, your love will empower me.

Agapau, I love how Ephraim Smith defines Agapau.

He says, the unconditional love of Jesus in us that is flowing through us to be a force of transformation around us.

This is how it works.

It's all about your identity, whose you are.

And I'm getting my love and understanding of who I am, that I'm already loved.

And so in this moment, I'm gonna choose to love you.

I don't feel like it.

I don't even feel like I have the power to do it.

And what a lot of us do is we're waiting to feel like it.

And you make a choice, okay, I'm gonna step in and I'm gonna love you, trusting that as I take that step of obedience, as I take that step, Christ, you are gonna empower me to love my spouse.

You're gonna empower me to love my kids, you're gonna empower me to love, and you can fill in the blank.

And a lot of us don't experience Christ's empowerment because we don't step in love.

We're waiting.

Empower me, empower me.

He says, Yeah, step.

What's the thing?

Come on, what's the thing that you've been holding back, that you've been holding on to, that you say I will not do until they do?

And would you today make a decision?

I'm gonna start doing it, not because they deserve it, but because I'm beloved, and so I choose to love, and I'm trusting that Christ will empower me as I take that step forward.

What is it for you?

See, here's what love's asked.

What is the highest and best for the other person?

What is the highest and best for your spouse?

And here's the beautiful of the truth.

Jesus has already answered that for you.

He said, What is the highest and best for you?

See, we love not because we really know what love is, because he first loved us and gave himself as an offering, laying down his life for us.

Jesus, who left eternity, God, stepped into humanity vulnerable, looking to us.

When we wanted nothing to do with him, when we were still enemies of him, he said, I want to draw you in and invite you into my family.

When you were running away from me, I was running towards you.

When you chose everything else, I still choose you.

I love you to the cross.

You know, Dave gave an invitation earlier as we're praying.

If you've never experienced that kind of love, today's the day.

This moment's the moment.

Don't run past that.

There's so many of us spinning out our busy lives, just trying to eek by, try to find purpose and meaning in everything else, and the hungering and the desire of your heart is just like, gosh, I hope somebody will love me.

And yet, the God of the universe, his love for you.

Oh.

It never varies, it never changes, it's constant.

On your good days, he doesn't love you anymore.

On your bad days, he doesn't love you any less.

And he asked that question.

And he answered it in the person of Jesus for you.

And so as we close, would you pray with me?

And if you're here and you've yet to say yes to the love of Jesus, would you just pray after me?

Oh heavenly Father.

I want to be a part of your family.

I want to experience your belovedness.

Today, I confess I can't do it on my own.

And I'm tired of trying to do it on my own.

But I believe that you, you are my best.

That you do love me.

That you sent Jesus for me.

Jesus, would you come into my life and make me new?

Fill my heart with your love by the power of your Holy Spirit.

That I might know you and walk in your love.

And if you're here and you prayed that prayer, if we'd just keep our eyes closed for a minute, could you just raise your hand so I know?

I just would love to amen.

Yeah, raise them high.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Jesus, I pray for my friends today who have said yes to your love invitation.

That you would awaken them to the wonder of your grace and your kindness and your love.

Overwhelm them with your love.

Thank you for making us a part of your family, a part of your belovedness.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

We hope you are blessed by this message.

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