Cultivate: A Hard Heart | Part 2

Welcome to the Awakening Church podcast.

We pray this message encourages you and provides the hope and light of Jesus Christ.

Thanks for tuning in.

We're in a series called Cultivate: The Secret to Spiritual Growth.

Growth is something that we all desire, long for.

We look around, it's hardwired into the fabric of the universe.

We long for growth personally, relationally.

And yet true lasting growth feels so elusive, doesn't it?

How do you experience growth that truly lasts?

That's not just this fleeting beginning of the new year.

You had a really good start, but then it just kind of nosedives.

And how do you experience growth that lasts in a world addicted to speed?

We're obsessed with quick hacks and instant results.

But what if the secret to lasting growth is neither flashy nor immediate?

But profoundly simple.

In fact, Jesus told this parable, the parable of the soils, and in it, it contains for us how do you experience growth that lasts?

He tells this story of a farmer of some seed and some soils.

He says, a farmer went out to sow a seed and he had some seeds and he began to scatter it.

And if you look at the farmer, you go, he's a really bad farmer, because he throws it onto the path, and it goes onto the path, and the birds came and ate it.

And then he throws it into rocky soil, and it is shot up for a season.

But the heat of the sun, because it didn't have roots, it was shallow, it just withered and died.

And he threw it over into some thorns and and it grew up, but it got choked out by the thorns, and then he threw it into some good soil.

And he says, in that good soil, well, it produced a harvest of 30 or 60 or a hundredfold.

See, the the farmer represents God's generosity, that he's lavish.

He's not waiting for you to fix yourself up or to be just in the right place.

He's sowing, he's giving it everywhere.

The seed is God's word, Jesus tells us.

That it's the word of God is powerful.

This little seed is a sunflower seed.

We planted them last week.

And this little seed has everything in it to produce a beautiful sunflower that probably will get taller than me all in here.

And Jesus says the word of God is like that.

That it's powerful.

Everything you need for life and godliness.

He's like, I've already given it to you.

And then the soils.

Well, he gives us four types of soils.

Those represent the condition of our heart and really the response of our heart to God's word.

The path, the rocky soil, the thorny soil, and then the good soil.

And here is the whole point of it.

Good seed plus good soil equals an exponential harvest.

Good seed plus good soil equals great growth.

You want to have growth that lasts, well, get good seed.

Okay, we got good seed right here, the Word of God, plus good soil.

And you'll begin to see things in your life that you never dreamed possible.

And yet, here's what we know: it doesn't matter how good the seed is if the soil is bad.

And so, good soil doesn't happen by accident, it's cultivated.

And that's what we're gonna spend the next three weeks talking about is how do we cultivate the soil of our heart?

Last week I had you grab one of these cups right here, fill it with some dirt, and plant your sunflower seed to remind us that God is in process.

That change and growth doesn't happen overnight.

No, it happens over time.

How many of you oh actually I have a picture of someone's right there?

It's already sprouting.

Yeah.

He's an overachiever, by the way.

Don't feel bad if yours hasn't sprouted yet.

Just so you know, if you know his name, then you go like makes sense.

Um okay.

And and some of you are like, oh, I I was so beautiful when people came forward.

It became this sacred moment.

Uh, friends were doing it together, couples were doing it together, and made sure they had their own cup, which was awesome.

Even a few families went and got their kids to come forward to do it.

If you still are wanting a cup with some seed in it, you can come forward at the end of service.

But just to be this visual reminder, one, isn't it great?

Like the farmer, God's heart towards you, is he actually longs for you to grow?

That's his disposition towards you and has provided it.

The good seed.

So then how do we cultivate the soil of our souls?

Uh, today the sermon titled is The Path.

Would you go ahead and say, the path?

A hard heart.

Jesus said the farmer scattered seed along the path, birds came and ate it.

Now, the path, uh, well, let me show you what the path is.

Um, here's a picture of the path.

There it is.

Right?

That that's you know what that is?

That's actually my yard.

That's my yard next to my driveway.

We park two cars in our driveway, and we get out, and you know, we get out, and so we walk along the grass right there.

And so we get out and we just walk along there, and we also have a basketball hoop, and that happens to be the place where you stand when you're kind of shooting or checking the ball in.

And so this didn't happen overnight, by the way.

When two years ago there was grass there.

And yet today it is dirt.

Why?

Because it's been trampled down, it's been stepped on, it's been pushed down, and over time there's seeds still underneath there.

If we stopped trampling on it, grass would grow.

Um, here's the truth about the path.

The path is compacted, well-worn, trampled down, lifeless.

Nothing grows there.

Jesus is going to talk about the path and what do we do?

How do we cultivate that heart?

Listen to what he says, Matthew 13, 19.

When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in their heart.

This is the seed sown along the path.

When anyone hears the message about the kingdom, and then he says, and doesn't understand it, that word understand means to have an intellectual grasp of something that challenges one's thinking and practice.

It's to take God's word and to be so challenged by it that it impacts your thinking and your practice.

It's not just to read it and go, oh, that's nice, but you read it in such a way that it challenges who you are and it begins to change how you live.

You know, life has a way of hardening us, doesn't it?

Hurt, disappointment, the endless noise of life can leave our hearts just closed off, making it nearly impossible for God's truth to sink in.

Here's what I want to do with our time.

I want to first identify what exactly is a hard heart, what are the symptoms, okay?

What produces it, and then how do we cultivate the hard heart so that we begin to be receptive and experience the flourishing and growth that God longs for us.

Well, what is a hard heart?

A hard heart is a spiritual condition where a person is resistant to God's voice, truth, and presence.

It's a heart that has been hardened by pain, pride, or sin so that it is closed, unresponsive, and then here's what's so important: often unaware.

When we think of a hard heart, often we think of perhaps the prodigal son that's turned to his father and said, Dad, I want nothing to do with you.

I hate you.

Give me my inheritance.

And he goes and lives wildly, and certainly that is a hard heart.

And yet Jesus told that story, and the point of it was the older brother.

The older brother that stayed with the father and obeyed bitterly.

The older brother also was hard-hearted.

You know, it's interesting that twice, at least twice in the gospels, the disciples are called hard-hearted.

They're with Jesus and they're called hard-hearted.

And then the Pharisees, we get this.

Oh, the Pharisees, yeah, of course, they were kind of against Jesus.

They were hard-hearted.

But think about the Pharisees, don't miss this because that was the point of the parable, is the Pharisees identifying as the older brother, that they're still missing the heart of the Father.

The Pharisees memorized God's word.

They had the entire Torah, plus, most of them, many of them had the entire Hebrew scriptures, the Old Testament, memorized.

They prayed three times a day at least.

They tithed 10% at least.

They fasted twice a week.

They served in the temple and they were hard-hearted.

See, spiritual functions and duties doesn't mean we will not become hard-hearted.

I said last week that I think I have all four of the soils in me.

There's places where I'm hard-hearted, there's places that are crowded out with the thorns and weeds of life, there's the rocky places, and there is good soil.

So, friends, listen to me.

This is not a sermon for someone else.

This isn't a sermon for the person, they just didn't show up today.

I wish my friend, I wish my spouse would hear this.

Would you begin to go, Heavenly Father, would you give me a receptive heart to what you want me to say?

What you want to say to me?

Would you begin to do heart work in me?

Show me the hard places.

Well, what are the symptoms of a hard heart?

Last week I talked about my camellia that's dying, and it's an evergreen, and there's no green on our camellia.

Um and so we got we got this.

This is a soil tester.

This is amazing.

Um it tests pH, it tests water, uh, it's sunlight, and you put it into the soil, and it tells you what is needed in the soil and what to do.

Well, how do we then begin to test the soil of our souls?

And to discern, okay, what do I need to do?

How do I cultivate this?

First thing I want to just tell us about a hard heart.

Remember, I said it was unaware, we're often unaware.

A hard heart is difficult to self-diagnose.

A hard heart is difficult to self-diagnose.

This is why we need community.

We need authentic community that speaks truth and love, bears with one another, works through the heart, practicing the one-anathers.

In fact, I want you to do this this week.

Just Google the one another's in the New Testament and you begin to read all the one another's that we're to love one another, we're to forgive one another, we're to bear with one another.

I always like to say this.

Why would that God tell us to bear with one another?

Because sometimes you're a bear to live with.

And so am I.

We're to speak the truth in love to one another.

Listen, if you find yourself as a serial church hopper, small group hopper, if you've gone to about three or four churches in the last three or four years and you're not moving, chances are is you're setting yourself up for a hard heart.

We do this all the time.

We get into a community, we think it's great, and then it gets real, and we have to address some stuff with them and within ourselves, and then instead of doing that, sitting in it, allowing God to do the work, we leave.

Here's what I want you to do this year.

Don't just join a small group, commit to one.

And commit to growing.

It is the soil or the fertilizer that God wants to use to soften the soil of your soul.

All right, so how do we then begin to diagnose?

I want to give you a personal assessment.

I uh got this from Pete Schazero Emotionally Healthy Church.

Um and as we do this, what I want you to do is just put a little tick by the areas you go, oh, that's I think that might be me.

If you're confused, not really sure, ask a close friend, a spouse.

They know.

Okay.

Personal assessment.

Go ahead.

You got pens, you got your notes, open them up.

I am guarded and protective about my imperfections and flaws.

I focus on the quote, positive, strong, successful parts of myself.

I am highly offendable and defensive.

I naturally focus first on the flaws and mistakes and sins of others.

I hold on to past hurts and replay them in my mind.

I fill my life with noise and activity to avoid facing what's beneath the surface.

I give my opinion a lot, even when I'm not asked.

I have to be right in order to feel strong and good.

You know, there's this story of Dallas Willard.

Dallas Willard, one of the great Christian writers thinkers of our day, passed away a few years ago.

He was a uh professor of philosophy at USC and teaching one course in this, you know, philosophy hall there at USC.

Uh, the student guy was, you know, kind of tearing him one at the very end of class, and and the bell rings.

And if you've ever seen or listened to him, he's a very gentle, calm man.

And he says, Well, class, that's all the time we have today.

I'll see you next week.

And class is dismissed, and as students are starting to file out, a handful of students come around and Dr.

Willard, Dr.

Willard, why didn't you put them in your place?

You could have just torn them to spread, you could have done this.

Why did you end class that way?

They're so frustrated.

Why didn't you?

And he says, Well, I was practicing the discipline of not having the last word.

I have to be right in order to feel strong.

I'm highly self-conscious and concerned about how others perceive me.

I deny, avoid, or withdraw from painful realities.

When I'm offended, I write people off.

I give answers and explanations to those in pain, hoping to fix or change them.

I blame others.

I like to control most situations.

I don't get close to people.

I see people as a resource to be you.

And as you go down that list and as you've checked a few marks, those are some of the indicators, the testers that say there's some hard-hearted places.

Now, if you have no checks, then friend, you are checked out and you're deluded.

So talk to someone else, they'll fill it in for you.

But the question then, okay, if that's where I'm at, what what produced this?

What creates a hard heart in me?

How did this happen?

What was the trampling that took place?

Well, a hard heart, friends, doesn't happen overnight, it's compacted over time.

Uh that little path patch of non-grass in my front yard.

That little patch of non-grass that two years ago was grass.

And we started just walking on it and we started playing basketball on it, and the next day it was still grass.

The next week it was still grass.

You know, a few months later it kind of thinned out a little bit, but it was still grass.

And then all of a sudden, it wasn't grass and it was starting to be dead, just barren.

I even tried to do a little seed there, but it doesn't matter because I kept trampling on it.

What are the things that are pressing down and hardening our hearts?

I just want to give you four.

Uh, the first thing that I believe uh probably most foundational that hardens our hearts is unhealed wounds.

Unhealed wounds.

A deep wound or hurt that has caused us to put up a productive shell where we avoid vulnerability and keep people and even God at a safe distance.

Hebrews 12, 15 says, bitterness, or see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God, that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Unhealed wounds often turn into bitterness and resentment.

Or then we just experience numbness and indifference.

Past pains harden us into having holding a grudge, coloring how we see others, even ourselves.

Or maybe you struggle to feel anything deeply joy, sorrow, compassion.

Richard Wars says that pain that is not transformed will be transmitted.

These are, you know what this is, by the way?

I forgot I almost forgot this, oh boy.

You know what this is?

This is a soil tamper.

That's right.

You go up to soil and you that's fun, right?

And as you do this, it just compacts the soil.

And here's what I want you to know through all four of these.

Each of these is just doing this to our hearts.

It's just starting to compact it until we begin to identify it and dress it, it's just gonna keep compacting our hearts and hardening them.

Unhealed wounds and then habitual sin.

Hebrews 3.13 says this.

But encourage one another as long as it's called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

Encourage one another.

Encourage, why?

Because sin hardens hearts through repetition and deceit.

Encourage one another as long as kid today, uh called today, so that you may not be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

Here's the thing: sin it hardens our hearts with things that we allow in and that we consistent consistently do.

It just begins to numb us to the things of God.

And we might have even had a conviction about it a few years ago, and now today we just call it normal.

And we allow things, we go, it's not that big of a deal, it's just a small thing.

And we allow them.

So, friends, and I'm I'm preaching to myself.

I was on a run, and God was showing me the habitual sin of my life, and He's like, That's the hard, hard places.

Deal with those.

Scripture would tell us.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God with whom you're sealed.

That when we sin, it actually grieves God and it quenches his work in our lives.

Habitual sin closes us off to God's word and spirit.

You may find it hard to hear from God through his word and prayer or community.

We become resistant to correction.

Pride or fear makes it difficult to accept feedback or conviction, and we become apathetic in worship or our spiritual growth.

We feel dry or empty.

What compacts our heart?

Unhealed wounds, habitual sin, and then a critical spirit.

Jesus would say this Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own?

So good.

A judgmental negative attitude hardens our heart towards God and others.

And this seems to be our default mode today, doesn't it?

A critical spirit?

It's what gets you noticed online, social media.

It's easy to criticize.

It's easy to like be so negative.

And it actually just begins to harden our hearts.

We begin start defaulting to criticism where we look for flaws in others, ignoring their humanity and our own weaknesses.

Cynicism over compassion.

Trust is replaced by suspicion.

We struggle to see the good in others.

It suddenly or slowly becomes a chronic dissatisfaction.

Nothing and no one ever measures up.

Several years ago, I remember Jenny, my wife, telling me, it's like you just be you're you're you have a critical spirit.

And I was like, no, I don't.

Good, good defensive, you know.

It's like, no, like everything you say is negative.

Everything, really?

See, because I'm gonna pick on the words right there.

Um, not everything.

And then I begin to justify, well, I'm a leader and I see things and we need to fix things.

Yeah, you can be a leader, and there's a a place to have good critique, but it can easily move into a critical spirit.

And after, I would love to say, after minutes of like just pondering this, after days of the Spirit of God beginning to do work in my heart, I began to hear it because once she said it, I began to see it.

That's why we need community.

Once she said it, I was unaware, I was blind to it, I didn't know that I was heading down this path, but once she said it, then I all of a sudden began to see it, I began to notice it.

I saw words come out, I'm like, oh, I would love to get that back, but those words represent something in my heart, and in my heart is like, oh, that's not good.

Things that compact and harden our hearts, an unhealed wound, spiritual sin, critical spirit, and finally pride.

Finally, pride, a me-centric view of life.

1 Peter 5 says that God opposes the proud.

God, should we just be so aware and be a community that wants to be so far from pride?

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be in a place where God's opposing me.

And it and Scripture tells us he opposes the proud, and yet we don't talk a lot about pride, and we don't give it a lot of credence in our lives, and yet everything in our world's built for pride.

He opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.

The application, humble yourselves is an activity that we do.

See, pride, we always need to be right.

Conversations become a battle to win, then opportunities connect.

Pride fundamentally is a distorted view of ourselves.

We're at the center of it.

It's me-centric.

We think of it as thinking too high of ourselves, which is true.

I'm God's gift to humanity.

Hello, here I am, right?

But that's not too many of us.

Most of us, we think too low of ourselves, and that is prideful as well.

Where you become the center of your story instead of God Himself.

Woe is me.

I'm no good.

I'll never measure up.

I'm these sort of things.

That is just as much pride as the other way around.

And it hardens, it cuts us off our heart.

And we become fearful of vulnerability.

The thought of being honest about your struggle or pain feels unbearable.

So, how do you cultivate the soil of your soul, of a hard heart?

I really thought I had a much bigger pickaxe than this.

It's just embarrassing.

Seriously, I had to borrow this, and I should have borrowed a pickaxe.

I go yesterday in my backyard, I'm like, I know I have one of these, and I pull it out, and I'm like, come on.

Are you serious?

See, but here's what here's what you want to don't miss this though.

Hard places actually need something that is going to break through.

Business as usual will not cut it.

So, what do we do?

I just want to give you three things.

First, ask God to reveal any hard places.

Ask.

Prideful people do not ask for help.

Surrendered people do.

Ask God to reveal any hard places.

We started off the message.

I asked you to invite your heavenly father to show you any of the hard places.

What's one area in your life you need to invite God and to soften your heart?

Would you pray this prayer?

Heavenly Father, I surrender blank to you.

I surrender my past wounds to you.

I surrender that relationship to you.

I surrender my sexuality to you.

I surrender.

Would you break through the hard places in my heart and make it soft towards you?

You know what's amazing though about God?

Because some of us are in a place where pretty, we're like, Ryan, that sounds really good.

I want to want God to do that in my life.

Like, if I'm really honest, my heart is in a place I don't want that.

Like, I don't want to ask God for that.

I don't want him to break through.

But I'm in a place where I want him, I want to want that.

And God answers that prayer.

God answers the prayer of God, I want to want you to do something in my life.

I'm not ready to want you to do something in my life, but I'm in a place where I at least want you to want to do something in my life.

And he says, I'll meet you right there.

Would you ask God?

And then admit what's keeping you stuck.

Confession in community is the tool that breaks through the hard soil.

Confession in community is the tool that breaks through the hard soil.

It is the pickaxe.

Ooh, that made a dent.

James 5, 16.

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed.

We talk about confession vertically to God.

Yes, that is true and important.

And we miss dearly to our detriment in our society confession to one another.

And shame keeps us in hiding, and in hiding keeps us stuck.

Ask God.

Ask Him, God, would you show me anything in me?

And then admit this is what's keeping me stuck.

I need help.

It's the reason we're doing healing path.

It's the reason we have small groups.

The spiritual life was never meant to do on your own.

It's actually impossible.

The Lone Ranger, self-made person is a lie.

And so would you allow others to walk with you?

Hebrews 10, 24 says, and let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another all the more as you see the day approaching.

Would you allow others to walk with you?

You know, just recently an example of a receptive heart in a really difficult area within our church came across.

And I just want to share a story of just because it's sometimes it's helpful to see what this looks like.

There's a young couple, while they're dating, they did just what um well, just what many people do in our day.

They started sleeping together, eventually moved in together, started a life together.

In the process, they gave their lives to Jesus and started coming to awakening, got involved in a small group, began doing premarital counseling, wanting God's best for their lives and relationship.

They began honoring God with their sexuality, not sleeping together until they got married.

This is where they pick up their story.

I want to read what they wrote.

We decided to get married at the courthouse for a couple reasons.

First, after talking to Sherman, our small group leader, about premarital counseling and living together before marriage, our eyes were open to the fact that it may not be God's design for us to live together before marriage.

Despite setting physical boundaries and stopping physical intimacy since September 2024 while living together, so we pondered on the idea of doing a courthouse marriage in our original destination wedding, or just doing our destination wedding in June.

You see the tension that they're wrestling with.

We also went to Pastor Dave during this time for additional guidance, and he was extremely helpful and non-judgmental while also giving us clear advice we need in this needed in this situation.

We prayed to the Lord about our situation, and he softened our hearts to having a courthouse wedding in addition to our June destination wedding.

Second, we realized how strongly we desired our wedding day to be an intimate and intimate and focused on only each other and the Lord.

God helped us realize that a courthouse wedding would also fulfill this desire.

We are preparing our hearts for marriage and continuing to maintain abstinence to honor God in our current situation.

Although we are not and have never been perfect in our relationship, by the way, none of us are.

We do believe God sees our hearts and our intention to honor Him, and we can't wait to enter the next season of life in full obedience to Him.

Isn't that amazing?

Can we just celebrate that for a second?

It's beautiful.

An area that's so easy to be defensive, and here's how I've been living, here's what I've been doing, and to just begin to respond with a hard heart.

You just watch this beautiful, receptive hard heart.

It wasn't without struggle and process and challenge.

And notice what they had.

They had God's word, they had prayer, they got wise counsel and people in our lives.

That's what we need.

Whether it's healing path or a small group or a wise mentor, find someone at least 10 years older than you, who's got a vibrant faith, and you pay for their coffee and come with a list of questions and share your heart.

It'll change your life.

Hard heart doesn't happen overnight.

It's compacted over time by wounds, sin, pride, your busyness of life.

Good news.

God doesn't leave us in that condition.

He offers us something better.

A brand new heart.

Ezekiel 36, 26 is a promise of God.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.

I will remove from you a heart of stone.

Isn't that good news, by the way?

Because some of you are like going, Ryan, you don't know where I've been, you don't know what I've done, you don't know how hard this thing is.

This thing is rock solid.

Jesus is going, that's my specialty.

And give you a heart of flesh.

I'll put my spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.

Think about that.

The gospel.

This is the gospel.

God not asking you to fix yourself up, to better yourself, to work harder.

He's inviting you to surrender to him, to let him do the deep work of transformation in you.

Maybe you felt it today.

An ache and a longing, a sense that there's a hard place in your heart that's keeping you from fully and experience God.

Maybe it's an old wound, a sin pattern, or just the numbing effects of culture addicted to speed and distractions.

Whatever it is, Jesus is standing at the door of your heart and he's knocking, will you let me in?

This is the gospel, friends.

Jesus came to heal what's broken, to forgive what's wrong, to soften what's hard.

Through his life, death, and resurrection, he made a way for us to be fully known and fully loved.

To trade our heart of stone for our heart of flesh, to be made.

And if you've never surrendered your life to Jesus, or if you've been walking away and you're ready to come back, this moment is for you.

Don't let it pass.

Right here, right now.

You don't have to have it all figured out.

Just come to Him as you are.

If you're here and you want to begin a relationship, you want to do the beautiful trade, my heart for your heart with Jesus.

Would you pray with me?

And friends, would you go ahead and pray with me?

Jesus, today I open my heart to you.

Thank you for loving me.

Even when my heart has been hard and closed off.

I confess that I've tried to do life on my own and I've fallen short.

Jesus, I believe you died for my sins and rose again to give me a new heart and a new life.

Right now, I give I surrender my heart to you.

Remove the hard, broken places and make me whole.

Fill me with your spirit and help me follow you every day.

Thank you for forgiving me, loving me, and making me and if you wouldn't mind, just if everyone would keep their eyes closed.

And if today you, for the first time, trusted Jesus, invited him into your life, would you raise your hands just so I could pray for you and see and know?

Amen.

Go ahead.

Yeah, raise them up high.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Jesus, I thank you for my friends who today have invited you into their life, that you are the God of transformation, the God who the God who does heart uh transplants.

And so we thank you for the work you're doing in us.

Invite you to continue that.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

We hope you are blessed by this message.

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